Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep32: Evelyn chases the high of childhood joy; Nick hid teeth in the M&M's.

Transcript

Ep32: Evelyn chases the high of childhood joy; Nick hid teeth in the M&M's. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's revision.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: No, and I have a I have a not like the topic feels so irrelevant.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Give me your least relevant topic.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it is.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your girl for that.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, lead us in, because I have a little bit of tea to finish.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, welcome to the Rose Jackass podcast, folks.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn has a little tea to finish.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess that has to happen before you can get your podcast.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Nick with me.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: As always, unless she has tea to drink, is Evelyn the Canadian Blade.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: We are so glad that you're here.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, if you if you have a moment, if you can deign to take some time to say hello to the people, say hello to the people.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hello, everyone.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a little tea to finish because I was a little bit parched because it's winter up here right now, and it is cold and dry and windy.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to make, I feel like there's a joke in here about.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: I got news for you, Evelyn.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's winter all over the northern hemisphere.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, man.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're wearing short sleeves.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, damn right.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it's 70 here, but it's not like Oh, Burr, get your snowblowers out.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to make some kind of like liquidity issues joke, but I can't fit it in.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you could help.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I uh uh just thinking well your government if liquidity is such an issue.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh why did our president move$500 million to a bank and cotter?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: There it is.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: There it is.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: There it is.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's a corruption air horn.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's an Evelyn episode today.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've finished my tea.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's a little bit left, but I'll have it later.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be cold and I'll be resentful, but thank goodness I didn't take time out of the podcast to finish it.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so it's an Evelyn episode today.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to I want to tell you three short stories that all have something in common.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not going to be able to tell what they are in common until the prompt.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want you to enjoy them.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Story number one.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was reminded this week as we got up here in uh Ontario our about 25th dumping of snow since November.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: That I remembered a time in my youth.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up on a farm and my dad would attach uh like those little toboggans, like not crazy carpets because we didn't have stuff like that, but a little sturdier, like a plastic toboggan.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: And he would attach she's dropping sled brands to me.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have any idea what the fuck she's talking about.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Crazy carpet?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what a crazy carpet is?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, look, it's not a crazy carpet, it's a toboggan.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's a little no, no, I don't have any idea what that is.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, first of all, if you know what a crazy carpet is, you know what to do.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Reversejackass at gmail.com.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know what a crazy carpet is, Google it because you probably have opposable thumbs.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's 2026.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna pay attention to your story, but now I'm crazy carpet.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: But keep going.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's I think it's probably with a K too, just being honest.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh yeah, that is ill-advised.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like a toboggan.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Don't do that, would be my advice on crazy carpets.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what did you wait?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: What did you find?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, just like it looks like a it looks like a great way to not be able to steer yourself with an absolute minimum of protection down a snowy hill.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, we still had those, don't get me wrong, but this for what I'm about to tell you, those did not do the trick.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So we had um maybe some kind of bowl, like a plastic, you know, like like a like a bowl-shaped sled.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, my sister and I would get in, or one of us would get in, who knows?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: My dad would attach it via rope to the back of the tractor, and he would drive around the barnyard and we would be flying on that thing.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he didn't, I mean, you can't really do donuts in a tractor, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the he didn't.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: But he he really gave it a good go.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And my sister and I would be absolutely like airbound for most of this, right?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're sliding, it was magical, okay?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's incredible.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I would do it now.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure, like, come on, a tractor can tow farm equipment.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it can tow a well-marbled 44-year-old woman.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like I might want to try this again.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that's story number one.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: It was absolutely incomparable to anything else I've ever experienced.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Story number two.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was the day after our wedding.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: All the planning, everything, like the party was over.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And Jay and I drove up to a little town about two hours north of here.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it was in the middle of October, and so it was like cold and rainy and really gray.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we drove up to this beach.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Wedding weather.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Wet, mm, wet.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it snowed, it rained, it did everything on our wedding day.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't care because I was wearing pants under my wedding dress, and I was warm as a little snug bug.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we drove up to this beach and we parked on the beach in Jay's vehicle, which was a white PT cruiser with flames on the side.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, that's it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was my favorite car.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: It had the turbo.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was great.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but we parked in this car and we just sat on the beach, like in the car, windows rolled up, doors locked, and we slept in our own seats and we napped.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the and the the waves were you could hear the waves.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was really windy, and it was the most peace I think I have ever felt in my 44 years of existence.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Just split such a beautiful story that it it makes me sad to make fun of it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can, which is why I'm gonna end with the next story.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Story number three.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Jay and I were driving one day to visit my sister a few cities over.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And as we're driving, as you do on a multi-lane highway, you get a bunch of idiots on the road, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, no, sleeping was for the previous story.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: There was no sleeping at the wheel.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you get a bunch of idiots on the road, and and as we're driving, this blue car just peels it in the left lane, like just peeling past us, swerving in and out of traffic.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, oh, where are the cops when you need them?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: A few minutes later, we're driving, and we know it's a cop car coming up behind us, lights on, and then kind of you know, goes around us and just books it straight ahead.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: And there's normally you think a white PT cruiser with flames on it would be like a cop magnet, but this cop had bigger fish to fry.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was just an E-Magnet.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's all.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's just an Evelyn magnet.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: So as we're driving, we're kind of cresting on this hill, and we again see the police car just booking her, and Jay and I start going, blue car, blue car, blue car, blue, because we're like, it's gotta, it's gotta be grabbing this blue car.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And sure enough, we come up this hill, and the cop had pulled over that blue car, and we rolled down our windows and we're like, blue car, blue car, like screaming going past this vehicle.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: We were so it was the best feeling.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're high five and we're acting like we won the lottery.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was just the feeling when when justice calls, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: When you're like, oh yes, this is beautiful.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, out of these three moments, the feeling of flying in the air with not a care in the world, sleeping the day after a huge goal had happened, sleeping peacefully, just feeling again like you don't have a care, you have such peace in your body, and the third one, feeling that uh absolute untethered joy when Lady Justice comes calling.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: My question for you, Nick, is what is a moment in your life or a feeling you've had that if you could bottle it up and experience it in 2026, you would tap into that like the most addicted addict that ever was addicted to anything.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: You really were right that I couldn't anticipate this.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking for vehicular prompts.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's coming up soon.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hashtag hashtag road rage etiquette Matt Allen.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, I know that this wasn't a the the last story wasn't a story about the the United States because if it had been you you and Jay would have passed the police car and the cop would have just been pumping rounds into the window.
• 8:19
  unknown: Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god No no, no, no, no, nope.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was just a a gentle Canadian pullover.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Just hey there, sorry, but you uh like you to take this a little slower there, chap.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, ooh, did you know you were going 160 in a in a 100 zone?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, sorry about that.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well it's a feeling I would bottle and keep with me forever.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like they're I feel like if I think on this for a minute, there's an obvious answer here.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Tap into a great day or a great moment in your life that wasn't tainted by the feces of anxiety.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a while.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know when something comes together.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, uh that's in that way.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this this is about when something comes together, when many things align.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I left Chicago in 2009 to move back to California, and my best friend came out to help me leave.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that she said was, um, great, I'm happy to come out there.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm happy to drive across the country with you in a moving van.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: The one thing I asked is have all your packing done because I don't want to do any of that.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, totally.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was fucking wrong about that.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was so wrong.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: I absolutely did not have all my packing done.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so she had to spend a full day packing with me.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: And to her credit, she didn't complain about it once, and she could have and should have.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I still feel bad about that, you know, uh 17 years later that I did this thing.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: But what happens when you pack is you start by packing the obvious stuff.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's a whole box of books.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: You pack all the things you have a lot of, and then eventually you get down to shit where you go, where would I even put this?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Your little knickknack drawers and stuff, you know, stuff that has no pears and et cetera.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so one thing that I happened to have was um my wisdom teeth.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And they pulled them out intact.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: They were kind of weird and enormous.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, they were unscathed in the surgical process, and the dentist just cleaned them off and gave them to me in a little envelope.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I had them, and I had kept them because when I when I was a kid, my brother, who was older than me, I remember that he, and this was in the 80s when it was a really big deal to have for guys to have earrings, had had his made into earrings, so he then wore, which is super badass, right?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so I thought there's some, I don't have my ears pierced, but there's some project with these, there's some use for these, and I don't know what it is, right?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And this is gonna come up later in the story, but I want you to know that this wasn't in my mind at all because I didn't remember it.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: My best friend and I had been roommates for three years prior to this story, and I had known at some point, but had subsequently forgotten that she has kind of a panic response to teeth.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, teeth really gross her out, really upset her, doesn't want to talk about him, doesn't want to think about him, which is a tough roadho when there are 32 of them-ish in your mouth, right?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, yeah.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: But that wasn't on my mind at all.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I find this little envelope and I'm like, what's in this?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's my wisdom teeth.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just toss it in my pocket, didn't even think about it.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is small enough, I'll deal with this later.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: So flash forward like two days.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're driving through one of the plane states, um, just long, flat, expansive road, and I'm in the passenger seat and she's driving, and we had this big bag of MMs that we were sharing between us.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I reached in my pocket for something and I found the wisdom teeth, and I thought, oh, this will be funny.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll just I'll just toss them in the bag of MMs.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I did.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: I did that.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then I forgot it because this is what happens to me is I do shit like this, and then I don't like wait in anticipation for it to happen.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just forget about it, and then later I get a fun surprise.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I throw them in the bag of MMs and I don't think about it, and like a half hour later, you know, she's driving, and this could have ended really badly.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: She's driving, and she reaches over to the bag and and pulls them out and and like clearly feels the like the difference in her hands and looks down.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And let me tell you, that truck swerved.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, thank god we were on a straight road on a non-hilly thing because she we could have died there, like that could have been a disaster.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, What mess that's like ah, you found my little gift to you, forgetting that she, of course, has this panic attack that this would have been like this is so much heavier than if I'd done this to you or to somebody else.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: That this was like, yeah, uh, that was very satisfying.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: But again, that feels like it feels like a little gift, a little gift that I gave to myself.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I have another Eminem based story, and maybe I I'm sure I'm gonna think of a good answer to your question later, but this will be this is another Eminem based story.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think that was a great answer, but I do want to hear I like I like when we kind of change themes mid-episode.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: I just I just respect our listeners enough not to do that when possible, but it's cool that you like it.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's nice that you show some people respect because you clearly didn't show your best friend who had helped you pack any kind of respect.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: I did not.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the good news is I'm pretty sure she'll never listen to this, but uh, if she does, Kelly, I'm really sorry.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'll make sure she You don't deserve better than that, but uh you probably wanted better than that.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: So one day, uh after my wife and I had just moved in together, um, I was bored, I was unemployed and you know, looking around, looking around for work and not finding it.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: It was a fucking drag.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: So again, big bag of MMs, and I got bored and I poured them all out onto a table and I just sorted them just because that's always like sorting things is like something that gives you a little bit of peace.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I got them all in different things, and then I got bored and got done with it, and I put them all back into the MM bag and I don't think about it.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then the next day my wife my wife reaches in to get a bag of MMs and she pulls out like 11 yellow ones, like her whole her whole hand is just yellow, and and like not one other MM did she pick up, and she goes, Oh, like she's like, Look at this.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: She's a mathematician, so I'm sure the statistical improbability of that was running through her mind.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: But that was one of those things like she was so blown away, and seeing the like the look of unfettered awe on her face as she tried to tell me about this thing was so satisfying to me, and then I had to break it to her that like I had unintentionally rigged the bag.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: So that's something that that's something that feels feels good.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's um that I could live in for a long time.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking forward while I'm thinking, what's your craziest bag of candy story?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I was like, my craziest bag of candy is one that makes it past like two days after me.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: The one I don't eat.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: The one I don't eat.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: My craziest bag of candy story?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't know if I have one.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not for not indulging in candy, like certainly shirts, you know.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've you know, I've never put teeth in a bag of candy.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, judging by your body language, you just came up with an answer to this.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: I have the I have the story.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I don't know if this will be satisfying to listeners, but hey, there's lots of other cretty peacemaking podcasts for you to listen to.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: You've already I'm in college.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: You've already respected them once.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: You've already respected them once in this episode.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's enough.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you get.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, so I'm in I'm a theater major in college, and I have this play where I am one of the leads and uh playing opposite this woman that really, really deeply did not like me and who I did not like.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: And we were like, we were like, I've rarely have I experienced such antipathy from a person, and rarely have I felt such antipathy towards a person, but we were really, really not friends.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it was an unpleasant experience for both of us from start to finish.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I had tried to get along with her and it didn't work out, and it was just worse and worse, and every day was just imagine being on stage with somebody and having to play romantic with somebody that you that you already don't like and doesn't like you.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Now imagine also that you're a terrible actor, which I am, and then imagine just the insurmountable mountain that I was up against.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: So she had this reputation that I guess I don't know if it was deserved.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: She had this reputation for being perfect, for being perfect on her lines, for knowing everything.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: And they'd be like, Well, you know, uh, I'll call her Laney.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Laney, you are really on your um game.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Lainey always learns the book perfectly to the word.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: Laney always knows her lines.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Laney's so like, and it was annoying because it felt like it was she got all of this recognition for just being perfect.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then one day we're in tech rehearsals, which if you don't know out there, it is the like the last week of rehearsals before you finally do the thing.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know everything, you know all your lines, you know you're blocking.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: You just do tiny bits of a scene for hours a day so that the lighting people can can check it out, the sound people, you know, just to make sure all the tech cues are good.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a long, interminable process where you do four lines and then you stop and you stand there for 10 minutes while they fix something, and then you do them again and you do the whole play that way.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm standing upstage from her during this tech rehearsal, and I realize that she is skipping a line.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, skipping maybe several lines, like maybe skipping about a page of dialogue by responding incorrectly to the line.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And in that moment, I realize that there is a good person option and there is a bad person option.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: And for once in my life, possibly the last time, at the ripe old age of 22, I take the good person option and I said, Hey, Laney, I think we're missing a line at this place.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And without looking, she was facing out at the audience without turning around.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: She says to me, Then look over your script.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Okay.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then they go, Okay, great, take it from this line.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Hey, I think you should do this thing.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And she said the wrong line, and then they stopped and they go, Uh, Laney, it looks like you're missing a line on this thing.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it was that is the moment I want to live in for the rest of my life.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: You want to talk about justice?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't gloat outwardly.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I gloated inwardly for how old am I now?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: For uh 24 years since then.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: But it was so satisfying that somebody who just talked down to me so hard, who just said, then look over your script like I was a moron, then got called out on a loudspeaker in front of everybody.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I want to just bottle that.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: I want to live with it.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Just take a second and go back there for two seconds.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Just go back there and just think like, what would it take to get that feeling again?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is you'll never get it.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: The answer no.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'd have to suffer.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is the thing.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: The reason that feeling was so great was because of the suffering that went into it ahead of time.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's so the challenge of it.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: That is that is very astute observation.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I'm not known for it, but occasionally I have one.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Laney, yeah.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: If Lainey hadn't been such a shithead for the months of rehearsal, then I wouldn't have had that thing.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in Lainey's defense, I think and hope she'll never listen to this, but in case she does, she actually wrote me an email a few years later apologizing.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that was a nice thing, and I really appreciated that, and it was a lovely email to get.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: But the thing that has always stuck with me is I have no idea why she did that either.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know actually why she hated me, and I don't know why she apologized for hating me.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: Her internal process to this day is a mystery to me because I had I have no idea why we were in conflict, and I had no idea why we then were subsequently out of conflict.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like the the whole situation just happened to you, and you know, or or at you.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: It happened at you.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: So if there's any young theater majors out there hoping to make a mark, I'm living proof that number one, you can get the BA without having any discernible talent.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And number two, just to remember, try the nice way first because you get the vindication later.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: The vindication tastes that much sweeter than if you were a dick about it.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's my that's my only salient acting advice to any of you listening.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's definitely an analogy here about teeth in the MMs bag.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm gonna be I'm gonna be massaging it for the rest of the afternoon here as I edit this podcast and just thinking like pick the nice, you know, pick the MMs, don't pick the wisdom teeth.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can be the MMs in a handful of teeth and candy.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like sometimes, sometimes wisdom teeth don't imply the presence of wisdom.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Might be another another idiom we could take away from this.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's an accent we could take away from this.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's just there is a lot.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: I really love what you said about it.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: It really does require a little bit of uh suffering beforehand, you know.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Me on the my sister and I on the sled, who's suffering?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is dad.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Is he?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Are you kidding me seeing the look on yours and heaven's faces?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't that seem like it would be it would be priceless.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I could go back and see that.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Now that being said, he's driving presumably he's not looking over his shoulder at your faces.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe that's the suffering.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Is that like he did have to face the exact opposite direction of the tour he was trying to create?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I would think that part of the suffering, maybe the suffering was us wearing those 80s snowsuits.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like 1980 snowsuit was pure, pure suffrage right there.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh suffering.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was suffrage.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Suffering.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was pure suffrage.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was nothing but two little girls getting the right to vote.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was an important battle that we fought that we couldn't have won without allies like Harv to be there and to to to drive the tractor, so to speak.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: Look, um that these brave little girl warriors.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't wear my wisdom, I don't have my wisdom TV.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And some some something you should already know about me is that I will throw the wrong word in there.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: I like unknowingly.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I like to think it's I like to think it's endearing.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: So So whether you're whether you're, as we close this episode out, whether you're whether you're cutting a track through the freshly fallen snow, or whether you're casting your American or Canadian Democratic right to vote for your leaders, just remember to thank Evelyn and her sister and her dad for the work they put in so that you could enjoy that process.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: And from that, that's this week's episode of Reverse Jackass.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, we started slow with the T, but the prompt was a real winner, and I thank you for it.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Say goodbye to the people.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye, everyone.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's always worth double checking the handful of MMs you are about to toss back in your face.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's wisdom.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Stuck together through geography.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the other has tokes.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's reverse.