Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #86 A Weekend With 14km, 3hrs, 2 kids and 1 pram!!

Transcript

#86 A Weekend With 14km, 3hrs, 2 kids and 1 pram!! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Apologies, you did have something you wanted to tell me.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really quickly. I know you've been wanting an
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: update on Sue. In regards to Sue, was the old
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: lady by the coffee shops dogg had died? I offered
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: to pick up the new dog Rescue Rescue said, yes,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: I have now found out from someone else at the
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: cafe that Sue has the dog. Not from me, no,
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: thanks to me, but someone else has offered to drive her.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Do they brag about it and like they beat you
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: to it?
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: I was like, hey, that was my job.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: So lovely Sue is with companion again. Yes, and you
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: haven't seen Sue yet though?
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Have you not yet seen her?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: You're going to snober?
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Good enough for you, Sue. That's all right, that's all right,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: fuck you.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Very glad she's got. I'm also glad because there's nothing
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: better than a companion.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Well said. Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm Matty
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Jay and I'm Ash and this is a podcast all
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: about parenting. It is the good, it is.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Also the bad and the relatable.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: And if you've come winning any advice, I'm just going
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: to warn you right now in case you are new
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: to the podcast. No advice has ever been given, nor
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: will it ever be given in the future.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Not real advice anyway, just the fake advice, just the
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: funny stufftic synthetic advice. How are you, Matthew? How are
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: you look?
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I think we're both in the same boat here, fatigued.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: We're fatigued. We're in recovery mode right now.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I've got two blisters on both of my big toes.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: You got those blisters very quick. We are, of course
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: talking about the city to surf, which we completed last weekend.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, just the weekend just gone. And yes I did
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: get blisters really early on.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're like, well, walking towards the taxi and you're like,
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: oh godless.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Probly got myself to blame. I think maybe it might
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: have been my Sox shoe combination. I sort of rushed
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: out the door of the day before and I grabbed
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: some socks that I would usually wear with another pair
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: of runners, and I think maybe they didn't agree if
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: were like, what, I bring two brands together that didn't agree.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I also like to keep the Puma shoes with the
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Puma socks.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: It's definitely this is not it's not sponsored anyway, Yes,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: we did do the city to Servius. Oh and I'm
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: going to say it, I have never been in a
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: place with that many people. I mean, probably have the
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: football stadiums and stuff blah blah blah, but like that
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: many people on the same level. It was like a
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: It was the human sea.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I think, ash I think I don't have the official
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: numbers here, so if I'm wrong, I apologize. Ninety thousand gee,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: could be wrong, could be wrong. I heard someone say
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: ninety thousand, and I was like, that sounds about right.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Only thousand people, A lot of people.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: A lot. It was like a sea. I've never do
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: you know what. I also forgot that because they do
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: play it on the news and stuff every year. I
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: don't really watch much news, mainly because they can't handle
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: the bad news if it's all good news on there.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I have seen it before in the news, but then
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: this in real life. I was like, oh, yeah, it's like,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: this is the thing. And it was like, I think,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: a fucking thing.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: And it's exciting for the kids because you came to
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: my house for a sleepover, you brought oscar and it
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: was nice. It was nice. The kids were excited. We
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: did almost have the whole event derail itself.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Well, before we get to the derail, we did traumatize
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: a small child with the wildlife that is your house.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Oh you've forgotten. Sorry, So Matt, as we know, Matt
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: has the three legged Buster, who's quite a big boy.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: And for a small child that doesn't know Buster.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Well even adults are scared of him. Yeah, and he
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: barks at everyone.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: He's got a really really yeah, really girthy bark, like
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: that comes deep.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: We have many people someone say he's like just like
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: delivering a parcel. They hear Buster and they're like yeah, yeah,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: they going the other way.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And then when he's like hopping, half hop half running
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: at you.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a monster.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. If it was like really dark, you'd be fucking petrified.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is like bouncing, billowing towards you.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: So there was that at first, which I pre warned Oscar.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: But I didn't pre warn him until he pulled up
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: at your house because I wouldn't have got him there.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: He would have been like, nope.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: We're going where there was a three legged animal that
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: has forty kilos. It could eat you, but it won't,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: and it's very loud.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I said to him, he's three leaders. Why has he
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: got three legs? I said, oh, he lost he lost
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: his other leg when he was a puppy. And then
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: he was like thinking about it and he was like
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: where is it? And I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: it's gone. It's long gone. So there was that and
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: that straight away, like he didn't want to leave my side.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I'd hold him the whole time. But then he sort
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: of came good. When he was outside. Buster was in
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: his bed and you know, busses all bark and then
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: he's back to bed pretty much. So there was that,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: and then he came around. There's also the cat, which
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Osco had been around the cat that afternoon.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: The cat's feral. By the way, I'm off the cat.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I know. Sometimes Laurea will post a video of me
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: like sitting with the cat, but overall, I'm not into
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: the cat at all. It's also very it's very swipey.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: It's a swipey cat, like on the bench stools. You
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: walk past.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: It and just go yeah, like you'll be walking past
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: and like some chloral latch onto you jump in your.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Hair and you're like Ellie, my mom. The cat. But
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: the kids are constantly like coming to me, being like
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: the cat's come for me again.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god. But it's sort of the I've
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: noticed that the cat's sort of become part of the
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: background furniture of the house, like it used to be
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: the main focus because it was so small. Now that
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: it's grown, it's kind of like, there's the cat. Yeah,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: and then it will do those things for its attention,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I would say, But kids, all bath, everyone got ready
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: for bed. Oscar and I were in our separate room
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: obviously everyone else, and he.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Was a bit nervous, so you get that it's a
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: new environment. And he was like I remember him saying, hey, daddy,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: where are you going to sleep? And You're like you
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: don't worry, I'm going to come.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be right next to you. Yeah, and
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: just a bit of wine downtime, I said, like, Oky'll
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: be right back, okay, Like well, lights were still on,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: like dem.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: When this house is safe, don't worry, Oscar. There's nothing
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: here that's going to hurt you. I think that's going
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: to jump out in the middle of the night and
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: attack you.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Work.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Let's just yeah, you know, to rest put you at ease.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, So after putting him at ease, going Buster is
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: not coming upstairs. He's got three legs, he can't get upstairs.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, where's Raspberry No one said anything about
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Raspberry Cat anyway. So I'm down stairs and I think
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: we were I don't know what we're doing. We're talking
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: about something and then talking business, yeah, but diversified portfolio.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: And I was like, fuck, what is it? And then
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I'm half upstairs and he goes God, and I look
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: in the room and in the corner of the room,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: of this dark room with a bit of light from
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: the hallway, is the beady eyes of a cat ras breathe,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: the cat like just looking directly, and I was like,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: you get out of here. And he was destroyed. He
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: was so upset. And I don't think you guys really
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: knew what was going on. You was sort of there's
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: a bit of Ruckers still downstairs. And then I was
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: comforting him and he was like, come to bed now.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I can't come to bed now. We've got some work
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Matt and I talking about diversified portfoliowers we're investing, so
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: we'll be back in a second.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like, look, we just got to do
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: a little bit of a record and then just organize
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: some stuff for tomorrow and then I'll be in bed.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: That was a lie. It was a Blaine light, just
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: to k you know what. I had some toys downstairs
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: that he brain that sort of comfort him a little bit.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'll go and get those.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: For you, but don't worry. That cat is gone.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I said, the cat is not coming back. The cat's
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: not coming back, and I've just scared the shit out
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: of it. It's not coming back. I took two.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Steps down the cat quick, by the way.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: So quick. I took two steps down the stairs, and
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I hear this turning the cat's back, and I quickly
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: rushed up to it. And at this point you also
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: realized what was happening, and you were like, oh shit.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Ran upstairs and I'm like, the.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Cat also gets this weird second wind, a round like
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: run about seven eight o'clock. It's like someone gives it
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: a line of cocaine. It just bounces off the walk
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: in his room.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: It was like love me, yeah, like like I'm just
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: looking for someone to sleep.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: And then if you ever watched the movie Aliens, where
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: that little like that little alien attaches to someone's face
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: and latches on. That's pretty much my Mosco was in bed,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: his cat wrapped around his face, claws like into the
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: back of his sky.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I feel bad and feel sorry for because we did
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: forget about Raspberry, that the cat would be around. We
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: just were worried about the big bad dog. But then, yeah,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: it took a little bit calming down before he actually went.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Sorry about that, Oscar, but yeah, so.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: He went to sleep at a great sleep. We all
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: woke up early that morning because it yourself me. Laura
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: also was joining in on the city to serve three
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: kids three prams two prams actually sorry, I lied two
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: well one's like two were double and we thought the
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: best way to get in is a Maxi taxi. Yep,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: a pre books pre book maxie taxi, which has gone
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: very mature of us, very mature, very organized. We actually,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: you and me were like, Laura.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Help us book a taxi because we don't know how
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: to call.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: She booked the taxi morning of doesn't show up. People
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: are starting to panic.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I was skeptical, but I didn't want to add two.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: The stress and the tension of the household.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: A lot of tension that morning a lot of tension. Anyway,
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: we call ubers. One rocks up for Laura, throw on
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: her prem Lola and Laura off in the Uber. Next thing,
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I come back downstairs and Laura's like, who wouldn't take Lola?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: She's too young? And then I'm like, okay, so what
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: are you gonna do? She goes, I want to drive
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: up my car and aarub was coming. Our kids are
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: old enough to jump on the Uba. Next thing, Laura goes,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: did you get the pram out of the back of
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: the taxi, back.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Of the Uber, out of the first super? What do you?
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I was to Bac. You are, And Laura will still
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: not believe even though you've got a witness, I was,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: She's got zero witnesses.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I will say, my witness is not the most reliable person.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Well, hang on.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: A sketchy pat. It wouldn't be anyone's first choice.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: And we get it. We get it, all right, I'm untrustworthy.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: But you were in that. I remember she called you
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: and we were walking down the hallway and got down
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: and she was full panic about it, and Lola was like,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: what's going on? No idea, what's going on? And then
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: she's also on the phone to the cab company trying
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: to book another cab and an old mate in the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: first spoop has taken off to the would have been
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: no chance, no opportunity for you to retrieve. Yeah, so
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: said long story short, Matt got blamed for the loss
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: of a pram.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: We lost. We lost the prem. We lost the.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Prem before even leaving before the house.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Like it's like seven fifteen right now, am, and it's
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: already falling apart, and.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I imagine being a fly on the wall.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Oh my god. We were yelling at each other on
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: the street. The neighbors must have been like someone's been.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: A tax oscar. Was like, I was like, okay, you
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: be quiet, now, we'll both be quiet. Just let this
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: play out. I just don't want to add any fuel
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: to the fight. I was going to be like when
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: you were and Laura were have a little tip about
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: whose folder was, I was going to be like, yeah, man,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: why did you leave? I was like, if you did it?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Actually self restrained.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Do you know what stopped me from that? The hour
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: which I was lovely, he was not. I thought he
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: doesn't need this.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: So luckily we have the other prem, yeah, massive prem
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: as well. So Laura grab that somehow she ended up
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: in a train. I thought we'd never see her again.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: We did see it, we thought she did. She's like,
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I've ended up in Newcastle and this is your fault.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Why are you at the airport? Shut up?
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: It was such a frazzled morning. But then we get
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: out ourselves and we've got a pram kindly donated by
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: g WM.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Can I just say a lot of people have been like, oh,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: must be nice to roll around and that.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Is it full. We'll get to why we did the
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: city deserve shortly, but it was donated to us to use,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: to keep, to borrow, I mean, although they probably want
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: us to keep it now. After the kid's trashed absolutely
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: like a brothel. It's so bad. But we get out
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: as all the parents listening, you unfold the pram, which
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: is an exercise in itself. Kids get in. We realized
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: that we haven't pumped the tiers.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: We pushed it round with no kids in it. Once
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: we have two kids in it.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Flat tires, they're not run flat, not those European run flats.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: There was like a proper like racing bike and.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: At this point I'm like, I can't take it out
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: of it. You can do it on your own.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: I think I looked at you and I was like,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: do we have to do this? Luckily and randomly, Hyde
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Park on the corner has like a bike pump. It
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: could be confused as an explosive though a that, but
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: it saved us. We're just solving problems here.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: It was they don't make it easy, and then the crowd,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: and then the crowd, and then's like is it over yet?
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, strap on in, kid, because we've
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: got fourteen of the best kilometers in Sydney to conquer.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Yes. We all lined up on the start line, which
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: was so crowded.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Like to dad in our wave there was it was
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: like the family walking wave. I saw a dad with
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: twins newborns.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: That's right, because we're sitting there and we're getting a
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: photo and I think we were taking the photo and
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: you were like twins and I was like, grab one.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Everyone crowded around, but yeah, We'll line up in the
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: family of friends section, which this is the first time
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I've ever done seated the surf as I said before,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: and when we rolled out, I'm like, oh, these prams.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, these are our people, these are people, these
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: are our people and we're people were like, it's you guys,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: and like getting photos with us, and it was like
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: really nice to like be with camaraderie, camaraderie of parents
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: who want to do this and think it's going to
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: be really fun, well at least they don't know yet
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: think it's going to be really fun with their kids.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: It actually quite was, but it was very long.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Very long. Marley ended up having a sleep. Lola, who
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: was with Laura, also had a sleep, and both of
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: them woke up and they were like are we still walking?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I know where are we lost a trooper through the
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: whole thing.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: He did so well.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: It was really awesome to see how many different variations
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: of families are on it because we've got the twins.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Then there disco dad, disco dad who had a DJ
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: deck in a pram and his kid next to him.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: So he's made his kid give up his seat for
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: DJ and it was like techno kid in.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Favor of like a five foot high speaker. Oh, and
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: he was just like and he's like, Dad, can we
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: just please turn the music down? And can I sit
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: in there pram?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: And he's like no, no dance. But you know, there
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: was like slightly older kid, heaps of fans. I was shocked.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: You had the old person trying to run through and
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: get a PB and US prams. But we're like, it's
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: like on a highway where like the big semi trailer
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: like road trains stick together and block people out. We'd
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: like block in runners, not today's son.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: We will slipstreaming behind him. But you know, we did
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: walk it with the family, and like I said, there
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: was so many Like if you had come to me
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: and said we're going to run the City Deserve with
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: our family, I would have been like. We were lucky
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: enough to team up with gw AM who brought us together.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: They really They said, look, we've got an idea for
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: you guys.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: We want you guys to break the record. And we
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: were like, we won't do that, but we'll bring the kids.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: And they're like done. Yeah.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: They were like, we really want you guys as a
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: family to show that it can be done by family. Yes,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: and we did it. We successfully did it. I think
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: we got halfway. There was a billboard of.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Us oh yeah, which was that set us back about
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: twenty minute because we would' stop getting photos.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: They were like, hey, everyone, look over here. And it
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: was huge. I thought it was going to be like
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: the back of a truck or like a or like
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: a bus stop, and it was like, look, I'm on
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: a bus stop. We were as big as a bus.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: I was like, holy, And it's weird because halfway I
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: was getting quite tired, very fatigued. The feet were saw
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: and nothing spurs you on like a picture of yourself
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: that's twenty foot wide. It really does give you a boost.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: It does. And that got us back. That was at
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: the top of Heartbreak Hill, wasn't it.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, Oh, which is when we needed it.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: So many broken hearts up there.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: And do you know what, I think it's harder to
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: walk than it is to run. I've woken up this
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: morning and the body is very sore. My calves are
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: very sore. Yeah, the front of my calf.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I am sore everywhere in places I didn't think I
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: was going to be sore. I carried Oscar on my
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: shoulders for like three or four k's just to give
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: him a break from the race pram in the luxury
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: race ramp. And at that angle he was like, there's
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: so many people down here. It didn't even really realize.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: But oh yeah, today I was like, oh God.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: Why now I know how the Olympians feel.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Similar. Look, I felt very proud of myself. Once it
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: was done, we pulled up, we crossed the finish line.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: There was heaped to people around. It's a great vibe.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: It's amazing vibe. We were ushered up to. GWM had
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: a little spot for us. They fed us, they gave
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: us liquid, bathed they you know, they had the kids
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: running around and stuff, and you know, the aura was great.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: It was great.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: So big shout out to GWe for having us be
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: involved in this year City to Surf, Thank.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: You, yes, and also bringing us and our families into
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: do its that have just been like you boys are
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: running and where was April? Ummm? So it was gonna
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: stay here, bring.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Macie, bring my favorite child. Please next next year.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Next time, next time. So yes, thank you.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Can I play you just a very quick message you
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: sure care? Just a very quick message. I've sent it
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: to you already on your phone. This is when we're
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: talking about Oscar getting a cap on his tooth and
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: a kid losing their tooth. So got a message. I
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: was worried because we don't talk about dentists favorably.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: You know I feel about dentists.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: I know, be nice. She's a fan of the show.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: Hey guys, I'm actually just listening to your latest episode
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: of Two Doting Dads, and I'm actually a student dentist.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: First of all, love how often we're talking about dentists
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: on this random It's such a random topic to consistently
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: bring up. But I just wanted to confirm for you
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: guys that you are born with all of the chemical
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: properties and materials in biology to create your teeth, but
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: it takes up until about six years old for you
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: to actually have those teeth in your jawline, for them
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: to be fully developed. And then if you're take an
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: extra of a six year old's mouth, you can see
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: that double layer. But before then there's no evidence of
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: the double layer. Thanks.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Love the party, Love the party at the end, love that.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Well there you go, there you go. Well I'm glad
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: we've got to the bottom of that.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: And I was nervous. She was like, I'm actually a
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: student dentist, and I was like, oh god. She's like,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: I better formal complain about podcast. Does she listen to
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: the podcast because we don't talk about dentists in the
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: most like kindness.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Of manners between them and rural doctors.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, next thing is someone I'm a rural doctor.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Just so thank you so much, so thank you. We
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: also have feelings, you go, thank you. Dental student Kate
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: lo Is she fully qualified though? And can we can
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: we trust her? Can we find her? Is her information reliable?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: It does sound very precise, but there you go. I
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: always want I thought like newborns would do they.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Have Like I said, dentists are just mouth salesmen, and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: they do the sales part of their education.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: No, early on, I thought you were going to say, like,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a message from her like again next week,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: and she's like, hey, just so you know, we have
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: a sale currently on for fillings if you were in need, and.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: We think that you need a lot. Actually, Kate, I
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: do need to see a dentist. My mouth is fucking
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: killing me.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Wow, what's wrong?
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think karma's come around a bike.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Which part of the mouth pun calm's coming around the bike?
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: There is Honestly, my mouth aches continuously.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's not good.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Well figure it out. Okay, okay, yolo, that's what the
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: kids are saying.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: Short it out.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I will. I planned to, but this week I cannot
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: because we are too busy.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: My friend, make sure you don't act like forefathers who
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: were illdiots never get themselves checked out. I'll get okay, good,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I'm very excited for this part now.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Very, it's really perked up.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Very.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Hey, what's that ash?
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: It was your birthday on Sunday?
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: See the surf day.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: See a surf day. We didn't get to celebrate it
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: too much because we're so busy walking. But I got
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: this for you. Sorry that it's ripped.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: That's hey. It's an upgrade from last year where you
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: forgot Happy birthday.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: I hope you enjoy it.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you can open it now. You're hoping over it?
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Now you open it now? For sure, it's already half open.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I love that you've wrapped it in the postal bag
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: that it comes in. I haven't what's this? Oh my goodness,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: it's a child proof I just said.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: This is something that I thought you may need.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Please be a penis pump, Please be a penis part.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Is it a jelly Johannah? Is it a fleshlight?
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know? Oh my.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Goodness, what have you got there?
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Mate?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I've got the fleshlight turbos. Let's get it out, let's
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: give it a go.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I ordered that online.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope you give us The fleshlight turbot looks
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: pretty good.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. The hard thing was ash.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Finding the right size.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Well, I was like, do you want the mouth, do
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: you want the vision? Do you want the nose? Or
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: there's actually it's actually weirdly as a market for alien vaginas,
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: they were out of stock.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I would have taken the alien vagina. That that's what
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I tried to buy. I'll take the regular human vacuum texture.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I'll just read you some of the key benefits. No,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: what I'll do is i'll read the description. Please, I'm
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: very excited. April's not going to be so thrilled. The
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Fleshlight Turbo Thrush offers you the most realistic and satisfying
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: alternative to oral sex Alien oral sex, uniquely signed with
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: three points of initial, three points of insertion.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Rumber one more.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I won't go through the whole description because we'll
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: be here all day. It looks now. It's got an
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: outer ring and entry point and an inner ring, just
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: the way I like them.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: It says up top the number one selling male sex toy.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: It does too.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: They all say that though.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: They all say that, yeah, that's great, thank you. It's
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: very thoughtful. Actually, a lot of thought has gone into this.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: It's probably one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: You're very welcome. We often joke about the old flesh light.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: We do. I'm just waiting for a dentist to jump
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: out now. I was gonna hate that. Sorry, it's okay.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I'm never gonna get to use it because she'll be like,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: you're this disgusting, don't use it.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: She doesn't have to know, mate, she's.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Gonna I'll better use it before this comes out.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got like twenty four hours to use it
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: as many times as you can.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I'll be like skinny by the time you see me next,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: drained me, like, can't get off the couch. I believe
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: you brought me a flesh Do you know I nearly
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: for your birthday last month, I nearly bought you a
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: flesh light.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Well, why didn't you?
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I think I've forgot hmm, I can't remember why I
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: thought about it. And then I was like, oh, I
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: think I think just time got away from me.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: As it often often. I'm yet to use my SPA voucher.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: By the way, Oh yeah, the same thing. Yeah, pretty much,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: more or le much depends what suburb use it in. Yeah. Sure,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: should we go two lives?
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me these little I've got a quick one here.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: This is from Robin, and Robin says here that she
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: took her kids to a concert the Wiggles. Well that's
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: what you think, but kids were being an absolute nightmare,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: little terrors, she says. So halfway through there's an intermission,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: and Robin goes, well, that's it, the concert's over. Let's
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: get out of here.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: That if I had an award, that's right up, Ali.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I love that. I've considered that with things, kids are
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: none the wiser. I had no idea. Also, you beat
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: the traffic like yeah, you're out the car park first.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: That's genius. Very good, very good. This one from Carli
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I do this too, but not quite. It's slightly different.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: So I'll give you her lie and then I'll tell
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: you my variation. The I love it when parents riding things.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I do as well. So this one from Kylie says
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: there's a light on at the park that only parents
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: can see when it's too busy and can't fit any
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: more kids. So what I do is, if we go
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: anywhere remotely near a park, just say where I used
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: to live in Morewood in the swamp. See I've moved
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: out of the swamp in the valley. Now it must
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: be nice. It isn't. It's fucking dusty in here. Anyway.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: It was a hard man to please.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I am. I just want to live comfortably.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Poor old Frank's probably like minus endo the podcast and
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: see how Ash is enjoying living with me, and he's.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Like, it's so dusty in my car. Next we have
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: to record from my car. So we used to go
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: near this park called rocket Ship Park, which is iconic
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: in the area. And if we go, yeah, we're going
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: to go down to the park. If we got two
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: clothes and I could see there was way too many
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: birthday parties on, I would say, oh, bummer kids, there's
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: too many people in the park. They just can't have anymore.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: It's full. Or I go, they've booked it out to
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: a private party.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: So what do you do to just go back home?
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Just turn around and go somewhere else. Yeah, there's other parks,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: or I just go do you want to go to
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: the shops and the like yeah gets them off pretty quick,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: always go oh, do you need a baby Chino? That ah,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: baby Tino trumps everything, like crack, yeah, I think it's
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: just the marshmallow they really want. But they can get
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: a marshmallow with that directly asking me for a marshmallow.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: They can go baby Chino and I'm like yeah, okay,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: and they get a marshmallow and they're like, got.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Him throw the little Actually got a quick one here.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Morley does this quite a lot. I might try that, so,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: she says. In order to get me to stop sucking
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: my thumb. When I was really young, my mom told
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: me that if I kept on doing that, it would
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: turn red, then purple, and then fall off. I ignored
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: her warning and kept on doing it. One night, when
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I was sleeping, my mom died. My thumb red. I
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: woke up and freaked out, but quickly resumed sucking my thumb.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: The next night, she died at purple. I freaked out
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: so bad that I never sucked on it again.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: That is commit the lie. Oh my God, says here.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: My brother wouldn't stop. She had him sedated and removed
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: his thumb that night that that part was I made
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: that up.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, I gathered.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: Just in case.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: But I think like, if you're going to commit into
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: liars are really easy because you could just be like, hey,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: short sharp, that lemon's red and they're like no, it
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: was like you must be color blonde because that's a
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: red lemon. Idiot. But to actually go days and to
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: extend to the commit to it, yeah, bravo, brother, bravo,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: they say, Matt, this is from Nicole. Nicole, Nicole, thank
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: you for writing in. Appreciate it. And if you do
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: want to write in for yourself, you can dm us
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: at two Doting Dads' Instagram or join the Facebook group
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Facebook type in two Doting Dads, join the conversation. We
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: may or may not accept you.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: We will accept you. We accept everyone.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: So for predators, yeah, we have a very strict screening process.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's like you have a first in the last name,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: you're real. So this one's from Nicole and she says,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I tell my five and two year old that if
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: they don't clean up the playroom, the cleaners will throw
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: away whatever is left on the floor. Genius, very good,
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: except when they're like, you got to follow through with that,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: she says, they think the cleaners come three times a week,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: They only come once before. You've got to be able
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: to follow through on that one though. I would always
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: tell Oscar that if he was misbehaving, whatever toy he
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: had at the time, I'm throwing that out if he
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: doesn't stop, and he got so. I got so frustrated
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: with him one time in the old place at the Swamp,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: upstairs had balcony doors, and he was upstairs and it's
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: just been an absolute turd. So I snatched the car
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: out of his hand and you threw it, launched it
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: out the doors onto the main road, and a car
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: just went bushka. That's impressive, he screamed, And Abral was like,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: the fuck do you do that for? It's just a threat.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, not in this house.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: It's not you're going to follow through.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: They realize yeah, that once they get and actually my
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: mom just said to me that, She's like, don't make
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: threats you can't follow through with. I'm like, do you
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: know what you're talking to?
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I am scared of nothing.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: I am scared of nothing.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: It's always like three, come here, come here. Two. If
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I get to one, you're in trouble. Not once have
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I made up to one.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I remember once because my mom used to count up,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: So do your countdown family. We're a count up family.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Generations of count ups. My mom used to count up
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: and I would go. I remember one time I said
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: to her, you're gonna have to count lot higher than that,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: and she hit me with the wooden spoon.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: So hard fucking smarter.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah it was, and I would have been sub ten.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't have to count louder than that.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Whack wow.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Anyway, long long line of count hoppers.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Explains a lot. Your mum's doing it all wrong.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm going to questions, but that
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: was my question for you, a countdown or account upper.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Let's go into some list of questions. Matt, dude, you
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: like to go first.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I'll first first. This one came through. They wanted to
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: be anonymous, but they just said, when you're out at
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: a restaurant eating with the kids, is it the responsibility
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: of the parents to clean up after the children or
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: is it solely on the waiter or wait tress to
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: clean up when you guys leave.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: If you're going to leave a tip, a nice tip,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: it's on the waiter. I think I never tip.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, very rare, unless it's like.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Sitting around here and the kids made a blatant mass
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: and they've without you asking or leaving it to clean up,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: they come and they actually just clean it up as
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: part of the service. I think that's typical because you've
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: saved me doing it, and you saved me walking out,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: and then you're going fucking cocka. I just live his
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: fucking shit everywhere.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Sere's someone who used to work in hospitality ash I
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: very much believe, and I like to be that annoying
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: person at the table who's like stacked up the plates.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I've got all the cutlery in like one section. I'll
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: make their life.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Easy, right, so you would fully clean up.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Because I'm just some so desperate to be liked. Thank you.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: That water must love me, love me. Have done.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: I'm in the kitchen cooking for the chef.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: This is enough. It's like, I'll carry it back to
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: the dishwasher for you're just in there. Look, I think
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I think you've got to make it so it's not
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: if it's an absolute fucking if they're throwing food on
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: the floor and shit like that. No I think, actually,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: here we go go on. This is just come to me.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know how it's gonna come out. I don't
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: know how it's gonna start. I don't know how it's
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: going to be.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: This is a place of zero judgment. You can say
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: anything and it's fine.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I feel like if anything is dropped off the table,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: it is now the responsibility of the parent.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: If it's on the table, unless you're taking it with you,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: that's the restaurant's responsibility.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Very like that came out beautifully.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I just looked at the floor. I looked
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: at the table, and I thought, there's a clear There
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: needs to be a clear line. There is a clear
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: line that divides the tabletop to the floor. I'm gonna
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: put that on T shirt. It's going to be quite long.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: If it hits the floor, it's your responsibility. That's great,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: that's good. Gerald's write that down. Well what do you reckon?
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Look? I agree? I agree? And if you want to
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: be a people pleaser like me, I mean, hey, go nuts,
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: lick the table clean?
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Is that okay? Seventeen?
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: I bring them when we go to restaurants, I bring
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: a mop with me and I believe in mopping the
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: floor underneath the table before we leave, and I'm like,
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: is this isn't.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: You walk in one of those vacuum clean the backpacks? Yeah, straps,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I'll be.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Like and they're like, we didn't order a clean I'm like, oh,
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: that's a right. What is here for lunch?
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Got Dyson? Matt? I have a question for you please,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: And this is more someone needs your advice.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: You come to the right place.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: It is anonymous, but I'm assuming it's from a mum
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: because she was saying, it's going to be my partner's
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: first Father's Day coming up. Congratulations, congratulations, and there's going
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: to be a lot of firsts for all dads, but
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: this one's the most important one, I believe. Putting that
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: on a teacher too, she has asked what she should
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: get this young father for Father's Day other than them,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: no other than.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: A first light go for US four thousand.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: We're actually giving one away. It's slightly used.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Maybe it would be a great sponsor for the podcast.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what's the actual rant flashlight? If you're watching,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: I'll take one question? Is first Father's Day? What do
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: you get? Well, what do you get? Any data on
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: a father's day. But I think the first one is
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: very important because it's the first time you get to
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: celebrate that you.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Have been there impregnated someone that you're not a vagin.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we get this.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Question a lot. I often see this question floating around
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: the Facebook group, even on Life on Cut Terrible podcast Dreadful?
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Is that about circumcision? Very good?
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Very good?
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: But actually, can I credit Laura for that joke? It's
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: really quick? Yeah, thank you.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Very hard to buy for men, I believe, especially when
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: you're an adult, buying for actually buying for any adult
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: is hard, because when you're of a certain age, you
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: need something, you just buy.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: It's get them a toy.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Also, there's I don't know if you're all this video
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: getting around the internet. That was a classic man responses.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: You don't need to get me in anything like that,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: but you really are, like, she better get.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: But there is one gift, one gift only actually, which
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: I believe to be the only gift that will make
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: any dad happy.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Let me see if I guess I keep sick to
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: me close.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: That is number two three, after the flesh I gotta
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: get this flesh light after table.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: This is my father was going to walk down what
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: a podcast is this? Put it under his shirt and
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: back upstairs. It's a bit smaller.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: My mouth water. No, sorry, there is one gift ash
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: and it just so happens. And I don't want to
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: sound like I'm being too biased here, but this gift
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: was created by you and me. It was it is.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: It is a book. It's a book Two Doting Dads
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: and the Quest for Free Time.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, and was that question anonymous? Or did I
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: write that in myself? Will never know?
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Well, you fooled me. You wrote it like fifty five times.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: It's like, ask this one, this one and as this
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: episode is live now, so is the book.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it came out yesterday. Yeah, correct, Tuesday, the
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: book was available now you can we're saying pre order
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: before now. You can get it. You can touch it,
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: you can sniff it, you can lick it to whatever
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: you want. With the book, you can't read it as well,
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: if that's what.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: I tried to read it to Oscar Macy and because
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: they're in it, they're like how did that happen? There?
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Before I get to the like, they're just like why
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: are you doing this? Why am I doing that? Before
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: it's like getting to the actual story. You didn't get
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: hated it. No, it's a great fun read. It's not
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: just for the kids. There's hopefully some relatability in there.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: But also it's about two dads who are trying to
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: catch up for a drink, reminiscing about the times before
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: they were parents.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Free time, and I think, honestly, I really think that
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: both parents, any parent deserves some free time.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: It's the most important part. Absolutely need time to yourself
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: to recharge from the little creatures that suck the life
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: right out of you. Well said, provide you with moments
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: of joy, but majority of the time make life help.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: But then, as we all know, when you're trying to
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: get some free time, they fucking get sick or some shy.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: There's always some disaster something. It's a never ending just
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: situation of putting out fires.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: And it has quite the twist ending that you want.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, oh, should we give it away? No, we'll put
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: a link in the show notes. But would we would
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: love for you guys to get behind the very first
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: book that Ash and I have ever written. Hopefully it's
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: the first of many. Yes, we have to sell I
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: don't know how many we've sold.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: One million? No, I don't know. I think we've sold
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: one hundred, but we bought them all.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: But it looks I'm so I'm so proud.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: And oh as am I and Ash and I.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: In addition to having like saw hips or knees, sore feet, blisters,
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: we also have sow wrists. Not because we jack each
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: other off.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: Beat me to it. Sorry, you beat me to it.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: So we don't need to do that anymore.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Because we were at the warehouse this morning and we
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: signed a number of coffee coffees.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's get through this and get over.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: We found a number of copies that went out and
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: as I was signing like the fiftieth book, I was like,
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: this a hurts a lot and it's not good for
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: my RSI, but also, b it's really cool. It's great,
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: it's great. It's it's we've been talking about this book
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: for a long time. It's it's taken forever to like
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: writing a book, even though it's only about ten pages. Oh,
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of bloody.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Writing a book. It's like three hundred pages. Wouldn't it
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: take you thirty years?
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I'd never do it.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: And also has got like four words on every page,
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: and it's like I don't have people do it. It
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: makes it harder, but we it still makes us author.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: We now published authors.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: We are, yes, so can't wait to change my link
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: all the real authors out there.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: Get out of here. You don't belong here, well I do,
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: but yeah, it's available now. And for those of you
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: who have bought the book, we hope you enjoy it.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Yes we do. On that note, Matt, yes, let's go.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Let's get out of here.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: If you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it if
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: you would give us a review, subscribe a number of
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: stars either on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. And as
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Ash mentioned before, we had the Facebook group which has
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: ballooned out to two thousand members, bursting at the seems.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Surely that's two thousand book sales.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: We're yeah, I mean, I hope. So we're going to
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: start getting more strict on the Facebook group, soon to
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: be as strict as immigration in the USA. So if
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: you want to get in, now's the time and.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Leave you review.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: I've already said that. I already said that. Yeah.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm tired and sore.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I know you are. Let's get out of here. You
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: need to enjoy your birthday gift. I We'll see you
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: guys and next Wednesday. The Bye Two Doting Dads podcast
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: connections to land, sea and community.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land