Latest / The Blow Your Mind Podcast / What Holds You Together on the Days You Don't Want To
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to the Blow Your Mind podcast.
- 0:03If you're trying to figure out who you are, where headed, or
- 0:06how to trust yourself in the middle of it all, this show is
- 0:09for you. I'm Erica Sinner.
- 0:11I grew up in a trailer park on food stamps and I went on to
- 0:14build a multi 8 figure award-winning company without a
- 0:18safety net and without pretending it was easy.
- 0:20I'm now as CEOA best selling author and a philanthropist and
- 0:24what I've learned is this real confidence isn't a feeling, it's
- 0:28self trust built through evidence.
- 0:30This is a place for real conversations.
- 0:32You'll hear from me and occasionally my husband Chris as
- 0:35we talk honestly about real life and the standards and decisions
- 0:39that separate talk from results. Let's blow your mind.
- 0:44It's 11:00 PM and the wheels have just touched down at Saint
- 0:48Louis Lambert Airport, and I've just gotten home from a big trip
- 0:52that is always amazing but exhausting.
- 0:55I'm not going to get into my bed until probably after midnight
- 0:59and actually get to sleep. And then tomorrow morning, that
- 1:02alarm clock is going to go off at 5:45 in the morning and it's
- 1:066:00 AM. My trainer is going to be
- 1:07knocking on the door ready for a workout, and it's going to feel
- 1:11like torture. I complain the entire time I'm
- 1:14working out, but I know that it matters.
- 1:16I know it matters for my mental health that day, for the
- 1:18meetings that I have stacked. I know that it matters for if
- 1:21you've been listening to my episodes, the last one I shared,
- 1:23going to those children's hospitals, being able to hold
- 1:26those kids, those superheroes when they fall into my arms.
- 1:29And I know it matters because I'm in my 40s and I got to get
- 1:32strong bone health. Like, how often are we all
- 1:34hearing about perimenopause? Can I get an Amen?
- 1:37It matters and it matters in such a big way for so many parts
- 1:40of my life, but the only way to make it happen is through
- 1:43systems. And so that's what we're going
- 1:45to talk about today. In the second part of my blow
- 1:47your mind framework, I talk a lot about what does systems
- 1:51actually mean? And all they are is practices,
- 1:54habits, standards that reinforce who you've chosen to be.
- 1:58If you haven't listened to the episode before this one that
- 2:00talks about identity, I would push pause, go back and listen
- 2:03to that to really decide who is it that you are becoming and who
- 2:08have you been taught to be that isn't true.
- 2:10So that by the time that you really sit down and
- 2:13intentionally decide who you are becoming in this world and the
- 2:16impact that you're going to make, well, now we're going to
- 2:19talk about systems. Systems that actually help you
- 2:22become that person. Systems that will carry you
- 2:26through the moments that you don't want to because we're
- 2:29human and motivation is not enough.
- 2:32We, we all know it comes and goes.
- 2:33And it's not even about perfection.
- 2:35It's just about having systems that hold you a structure that
- 2:39is strong enough to hold this new identity of who you're going
- 2:42to be. When your belief wobbles, it's
- 2:44because it will. Why?
- 2:46Because we're human beings. Why?
- 2:48Because we get tired, because life is life.
- 2:50And these are the systems that are going to help carry you
- 2:53through to not only just trust yourself, but I believe to blow
- 2:58your own mind. And so when you think about what
- 3:00our systems, it is the routine that you keep, it is any
- 3:04standard that you choose to uphold.
- 3:07It is the follow through on things that you are not
- 3:09negotiating, you're just doing it right.
- 3:11Like for me, I wasn't negotiating.
- 3:13Am I going to work out tomorrow morning?
- 3:14No, that doorbell is going to ring at 6:00 AM and I'm going to
- 3:17get up and I'm going to do the thing because I told myself I
- 3:19was going to. And it's this really cool thing
- 3:22happens after I do a workout, even if I've complained the
- 3:24whole time. I'm still sweating, I'm still
- 3:26doing the squats, I'm still doing all the things afterwards.
- 3:28I'm like, man, I did that like even when I didn't want, I want
- 3:32to like I, I do things I say, I'm going to do, which then
- 3:36reminds me how much I really can trust myself.
- 3:39And that's such a big thing. I think in life, and especially
- 3:43as women, where we might not trust our instincts, we might
- 3:47not feel comfortable sharing what we're thinking or this,
- 3:50this feeling that we have, this intuition that we have.
- 3:53But the more that you put systems in place that you
- 3:55actually follow through on, the more that you start to trust
- 3:58yourself. Everything around you starts to
- 4:00change. Your whole life starts to up
- 4:02level and people around you start noticing it too.
- 4:05And it's a really cool like ripple effect that happens
- 4:08because it almost like gives them permission to start doing
- 4:10it too. And it's all based on a decision
- 4:14of identity of like who you want to be.
- 4:17Because truly like those consistent, those small
- 4:20disciplined actions turn into consistency.
- 4:22And as you start to be consistent with yourself, you
- 4:24start to build momentum. And when you start to build
- 4:26momentum and you start to see how far you've come, everything
- 4:30can change for you. And it doesn't just have to be
- 4:32about working out. I think working out is probably
- 4:34the easiest one to talk about. But I do so many things that I
- 4:38call rituals in my morning routine from my Transcendental
- 4:42Meditation where I truly get 20 minutes by myself before the
- 4:46world gets loud. And that was hard.
- 4:47That was a hard system to put in place because you were so used
- 4:51to just being on her phone or talking to other people or
- 4:53scrolling through Instagram or being on like watching the TV or
- 4:56working and to just be by yourself for 20 minutes.
- 5:00But now it has just been super game changing for me.
- 5:03I do my morning face immersions. It's just these practices and
- 5:07habits that like remind you who you are, remind you of the
- 5:10identity that you set forth as an intention that you want to
- 5:13become. And every single time you do it,
- 5:15you feel really proud of yourself.
- 5:17And they don't have to be hard like and working out might not
- 5:20be the thing for you. For me, I do 2 times strength
- 5:23training a week and then I do hot yoga once a week.
- 5:26But I also know for myself, hey, I need to increase that.
- 5:29I need to walk more. I need to be on my walking pad
- 5:31or I have my little lymphatic drainage, that little vibration
- 5:35pad, which I don't know if it works or not, but I do it
- 5:38because it makes me feel good. And it's also again, back to
- 5:42these habits of it's, it's an actionable thing that you have
- 5:45done that proves to your body and to yourself that you really
- 5:48are moving in the direction of the identity that you set forth.
- 5:53Because I really believe that future you needs a structure
- 5:56that passed you never built. It really needs a structure that
- 6:01is going to be foundational and it's going to be your safety
- 6:03net, especially on the days that you don't want to do the thing.
- 6:07And that, that, that could be that you every morning get up
- 6:10and go for a walk, or maybe not even a walk.
- 6:13Just go outside and sit in this like the sunlight, breathe the
- 6:17air for 5 minutes and then come back inside.
- 6:19Maybe it's drinking your coffee slower in the morning.
- 6:22Maybe it's after a day's work that you take a walk then or
- 6:25that you read a book 1 chapter. Even if you have kids, if you
- 6:28have lots of things happening right, you have got to build in
- 6:30time within your schedule, within your calendar that is
- 6:33protected just for you. And those are not just practices
- 6:37and habits, but those become standards.
- 6:39I even call them like sacred lines that can't be crossed for
- 6:43myself. I picked that up from Jessica's
- 6:45WAG instead of boundaries, they're sacred lines that are
- 6:49just for you. And they're little gifts for
- 6:51yourself that you can have. And the more you start to do
- 6:55them, the more you realize you are becoming the identity that
- 6:58you set forth to be. And you start to realize, wow,
- 7:01like I can change my life and I am changing my life.
- 7:05And I like who I'm becoming. And I like these standards that
- 7:08I'm upholding. And the people around you, you
- 7:11know, some people might be like, why do you do that?
- 7:13That's so weird. But I like it for me.
- 7:15And I like being weird. Like we're all different.
- 7:18Like, I kind of like being a nerd.
- 7:19I don't know, Like, I'm like, can we all just be more
- 7:23ourselves? I think life is more interesting
- 7:25that way when we're not all trying to be the same person.
- 7:28And So what I want you to think about is what are systems that
- 7:33you could put in place that are going to get you to the identity
- 7:37that you have decided that you're going to be.
- 7:39So again, if you haven't listened to the episode before
- 7:41this, please go listen to that and really take the time to
- 7:45decide who you want to be because then when you start to
- 7:47build the systems that are going to be the safety Nets for you,
- 7:50you're going to get there. I'm living proof that you can
- 7:53get there. I am a girl who grew up in a
- 7:56trailer park on food stamps who my mom didn't teach me how to
- 7:59cook. I didn't know how to take care
- 8:01of myself. I didn't know nutrition was so
- 8:03important. Literally when we had mashed
- 8:05potatoes, we had those potatoes that were in a box that you add
- 8:08water to them. So they weren't even the real
- 8:10potatoes. And it wasn't until like I was
- 8:12in my 20s where I was like, oh, you actually buy the real
- 8:14potatoes and you peel them and then you mash them and like,
- 8:16wow, mashed potatoes are really good.
- 8:20So I say that to you not to say like, oh, I've had such tough
- 8:23childhood and like, here I am. I say it to you to say it's
- 8:27really possible to just get to decide who you want to be and
- 8:30then figure out what are the systems that you need to put in
- 8:33place to get you there. And we all have access to so
- 8:37much information now. YouTube, TikTok, Google, the
- 8:40Internet, ChatGPT, whatever it is to help you put those systems
- 8:44in place to think through what are the ones that you want to
- 8:46have And then just start small. What is it for you?
- 8:49Is it the walk? Is it calling your girlfriend on
- 8:51a Saturday? Is it going for a coffee date?
- 8:54Is it taking your partner for an actual date?
- 8:57Is it of morning face immersion? Is it working out?
- 9:01What is it for you that is going to get you there?
- 9:03That is going to prove to yourself on a consistent basis
- 9:06through small disciplined actions that you are someone who
- 9:09does what they say they're going to do and you are someone who is
- 9:12becoming the person that you decided you're going to be.
- 9:15It is possible. That is my mind blowing moment
- 9:18today is it truly is not waiting for permission.
- 9:22It's not waiting to be inspired by somebody else.
- 9:24It's not trying to up level your life to be like that person that
- 9:28you want to be like. It's really truly just deciding
- 9:32like right now, today, who do you want to be and what are the
- 9:36systems that you need to get you there.
- 9:38So that's the challenge is take time for yourself.
- 9:42I mean, I when I decided my systems and I still decide them
- 9:45and I tweak them, they're not set forever, set in stone.
- 9:48But when I really first sat down with my framework and decided,
- 9:51OK, what are the systems that are going to get me there, it
- 9:54took me about an hour and I looked at my calendar.
- 9:56I color code my calendar and all of my systems are color-coded in
- 10:00this beautiful green, which for me is like plants and like life
- 10:04and thriving. But it also reminds me of money
- 10:07and success. And by doing these things that
- 10:10allows me to show up better at work, it allows me to build
- 10:13bigger, stronger companies. It allows me to generate dollars
- 10:17that go to my nonprofit that help change the life of kids.
- 10:19So green for me is super important, but I took the time
- 10:24to save, OK, like, OK, these are the amount of times I want to
- 10:26work out. This is what I'm going to be
- 10:27doing my NAD injections. This is what I'm going to be
- 10:30doing my morning face immersions.
- 10:32I want to do Transcendental Meditation five times a week.
- 10:34What does that look like? And building it into my calendar
- 10:38as it is, as if it is a non negotiable.
- 10:41And again, it's because I really believe that future you, that
- 10:44person you're trying to be, really needs a strong
- 10:47foundational system placed for you to actually get there so
- 10:51that you don't get discouraged when you're like, how am I not
- 10:53there yet? You're proving to yourself every
- 10:55single day how you're getting there.
- 10:57So that's my challenge for you. So today you've gotten to learn
- 11:00all about my systems and I've shared with you a couple of
- 11:02different ones, but I'm excited for you to come up with your own
- 11:05systems. And maybe you take some of mine
- 11:07in action, but you come up also with your own.
- 11:10I want to be inspired by all of you and I truly believe in my
- 11:13framework, deciding who I am and then putting the systems in
- 11:17place to get me to who I am today and who I'm still
- 11:21becoming. I truly just believe in this
- 11:23framework and I want to see it in action in the world.
- 11:26I'm excited to see all of the systems that you all put in
- 11:28place and I can't wait to watch you all blow your own minds with
- 11:33all of the small discipline action that you do that are
- 11:35going to get you to become the person that you've decided that
- 11:38you want to be. So please DM me, reach out, tag
- 11:42me, especially if you do one of my systems.
- 11:44I want to. I've been I get a lot, a lot of
- 11:45tags on the face immersion one because it's it's so easy, but
- 11:49it's also guys, it's so good. And so let me know what your
- 11:52systems are slide into my DM, send me an e-mail, tag me in the
- 11:56things, comment on my stories. I'll comment back on yours.
- 11:58I can't wait to cheer you on as you're doing them.
- 12:01Thank you for being here. Thank you for being a part of
- 12:04the show. Please share it with anyone else
- 12:06you think might want to be in a system with you, right?
- 12:09Create some systems that you might do with others and get
- 12:11accountability partners, but you also don't need them.
- 12:14Like you can do this for you. You can keep these promises to
- 12:17yourself. These are commitments for you.
- 12:20So thank you for being here. I can't wait to see you.
- 12:23Till next time, thanks for listening to the Blow Your Mind
- 12:27podcast. If something you heard today
- 12:29stayed with you, that's your cue.
- 12:31Apply one idea, keep one promise to yourself this week because
- 12:35that's how you blow your mind. If this helped you build proof,
- 12:39shift your identity, or have an aha moment, share your receipts
- 12:42on Instagram and tag me at Erica under score Center.
- 12:47Leave a review wherever you're listening so more people can
- 12:49find this work and blow their minds too.
- 12:52I'll see you next time.