Transcript

Steve · Recovery Chronicles

0:16
Hello, and welcome to Recovery Chronicles. My name is Shannon Huber. I
0:23
am a licensed addiction counselor at Heartview and you're listening to Recovery Chronicles podcast on
0:30
Radio Access one oh two point five. This podcast focuses on people in recovery
0:38
from alcohol and other drugs, people who have made positive changes in their lives
0:45
as a result of being in a healthy recovery program. We will hear stories
0:51
of relationships with family members, repairing better employment opportunities, finding support with other
1:00
recovery people. And on today's program we have Steve and Steve as a person
1:07
in recovery and he has been brave and willing enough to share his journey to
1:15
inspire others entering into long term recovery. Thank you so much, Steve for
1:22
being on the program today. Thank you for inviting me. Thrilled to have
1:26
you. Can you tell us how you were able to kiss the pass goodbye.
1:32
I've I've had a journey, but I am holding on to some close
1:38
relationships that I've meant in recovery and a program, and just opportunities that are
1:47
coming with uh, you know, living living good life in the right direction
1:52
and meeting new people second chance, I'm making the most of it. When
1:59
you talk about like meeting new people, it's you know, at first,
2:06
it's it's scary, right to walk through the doors, sure, uncomfortable,
2:09
Yeah, like what are they going to do to me? And then there's
2:16
a lot of you know, you need to go to these meetings and meet
2:20
new people. What was that like for you in the beginning of your journey.
2:25
So I've I grew up kind of introverted, so it was hard for
2:35
me to step out of my shell a little bit coming into the rooms.
2:38
It was years ago, about nine when I first went to NAAA, and
2:45
I got some good people there that are still there to this day and have
2:50
supported me all along the way. Just you know, kept a healthy distance
2:55
coming in and out of the rooms. But you know, I've I've met
3:00
some really good people. Now it's just about you know, for me,
3:05
it was identity. I'm still learning who I am and you know, being
3:10
more comfortable in my own skin and trying to separate the old version of me
3:20
to the person I'm trying to be and just getting into that and you know,
3:28
just learning how to talk with people better and being passionate about what I'm
3:34
trying to do. Yeah, I want to go back a little bit and
3:38
talk about that you are more of an introvert growing up and now you're looking
3:43
for your identity, which is I understand that one hundred. Can you talk
3:50
about like what alcohol and drugs did for you to be more extroverted? For
3:59
sure? It uh, Socially, I found the group of people that needed
4:10
the escape like I did from just just personal things going on with myself,
4:15
my home life, and and along with that, you know, drugs and
4:19
alcohol. Really I was able to sort of feel more comfortable being myself in
4:27
those types of situations. There was a lot of stuff that came with that
4:31
that I wasn't really me, but you know, it was just, uh,
4:40
I think it was more so a place for me to not be myself
4:43
more than but but feel more comfortable being in social situations. For sure.
4:48
We talk about sometimes that liquid courage or whatever courage we did. You did
4:57
you feel like you require that sometimes? I did? Yeah, I you
5:02
know, outside of school, I didn't. I didn't wasn't under the influence
5:09
too much at school, but outside of school, I was definitely looking for
5:12
every opportunity I could to be under the influence of some mind altering substance,
5:19
did a lot of drinking. I would just wild out. I would just
5:26
you know, I earned the nickname Steve O growing up. You know,
5:30
like I had a neighbor his name was Steve as well, and I was
5:34
always kind of like the crazier one. So I mean I was just doing
5:38
the most and and under the influence, which you know, let I gained
5:43
some friends, probably not the best ones, but gained some friends throughout that,
5:49
and uh, you know it let me down. Uh A tough path
5:55
to like just just trying to feel accepted, trying to be noticed. So
6:00
I gotten a lot of trouble growing up too, But yeah, definitely,
6:05
Uh, I held held in a lot when I wasn't under the influence,
6:11
so it all came out when I was intoxicated. Yeah, that's kind of
6:15
how it works. I like how you're describing that. You know, you
6:19
had a neighbor named Steve, and then you were Steve O, and you
6:26
talked about getting into trouble. Anything comfortable that you're sharing for sure. Junior
6:32
high was I gotta. I got arrested right outside in the middle school,
6:41
which was kind of dramatic, you know, and it just put me in
6:46
emotion of not doing the right things. You know, the I was I
6:54
acsihilated a lot. I uh, I was introvert as well, So I
6:59
mean I just clicked to the wrong group of people and then looked for any
7:03
opportunity to you know, just get out and do things. I got a
7:10
lot of unruly, a lot of truancy, got caught doing graffiti one time.
7:17
Oh yeah, gotten fights in school, and I was placed in Prairie
7:24
Learning Center when I was fifteen, which you know, I look back on
7:30
some of these consequences and they were the best things that ever happened, you
7:34
know, in my life. I look back and they were really good moments.
7:39
I didn't I kind of took them for granted at the time, and
7:41
I didn't learn my lesson at the time. But there were very good moments
7:46
in my life, you know, good people, good good support, things
7:49
like that. When you talk about being placed at Prairie Learning Center and rally
7:57
kind of and never never land way down, So do you U it was
8:03
that a positive experience for you very much. So. The food was good,
8:09
The food was amazing. I loved it, you know, I got
8:13
I was physically fit growing up in grade school. But but I really got
8:18
to uh do extracurricula there. I felt more comfortable with the my peer group
8:24
out there, so I so I really, you know, did the most.
8:28
So we played football time in basketball, we did uh testing, like
8:33
like physical fitness testing and stuff, and I really tried to do my best.
8:37
I was on a basketball team out there, and I just recently ran
8:41
into the directors Dave and Neil. I just recently ran into him and they
8:50
remembered me from back then. So isn't that cool? They're really amazing people
8:54
and they're doing a really good thing for what is it, Prairie Recovery Cientner.
9:00
Yes, yep. So it was a good experience growing up. It
9:05
was like the first thing in the right direction that I felt a part of.
9:13
I like how you talk about you know that you recently ran into them
9:18
and they remembered you. I don't know if you think the same way I
9:22
do, But I'm like, well, nobody remembers me. Do you sometimes
9:26
feel like they're not going to remember me? Yeah? That was almost eighteen
9:31
Yeah I'm getting old though, eighteen years ago. Really? Yeah. So
9:37
I ran into him at the Recovery reinvented. He had a booth up there
9:43
in Mine Not, and I was just talking to some booths and he was
9:48
there. We didn't even recognize each other at first, and then we were
9:50
just both our jaws dropped the same time recognized each other. He took a
9:54
picture with me, and I just felt honored. Oh yeah, be in
9:58
that situation. You know, it's cool. And then I uh ran in
10:03
and Neil on completely different terms lesson a week later, So it's cool.
10:09
That is cool. I worked with adolescents for eighteen years, so I know
10:13
the people that you're talking about. You went to recovery reinvented talk about that.
10:22
I went this year up in mine Not and I've no I've known about
10:26
it for a couple of years, so I was excited to go. It
10:31
was amazing. I ran into quite a few people from the Bismarck area that
10:37
were there on my peers in recovery. Amazing speakers. Really turned some lights
10:46
on to just some just some things I'd like to do with my recovery,
10:54
you know, and uh, just I'm practicing, you know, being comfortable
11:03
and uncomfortable situations, just you know, talking to people, networking and yeah,
11:09
I met some good people that I'm still talking to you to this day.
11:13
So it's great, which is unusual for us, right to maintain relationships
11:18
sometimes still working on it's going on so far I want to run from people.
11:24
Oh no, you might remember me cross the street. So when you
11:31
talk about developing our redeveloping or reinventing who you are, what is your favorite
11:43
thing to do? Do you do volunteer work? I do. My favorite
11:50
thing is to help people get outside myself. I was thinking about this earlier.
12:01
You know, I can't pick and choose the ways I shouldn't pick and
12:07
choose the ways that I should be there for people. If there's somebody in
12:11
need, you know, that's my opportunity to do something kind for somebody else.
12:16
And I'm presented with opportunities almost every day, you know. Also like
12:24
it's God's will, not mine, so you know He's He's presenting me with
12:28
these these chances to make an impact for other people. And I just I
12:37
haven't said no very often to things that are very much at all with this
12:43
recovery, to things that would be beneficial to me. So along with that,
12:48
like all these opportunities that God puts in front of me to help other
12:52
people, I take advantage of it. You know, my plans don't always
12:58
go to plan, So I mean there's there's always more doors opening. You
13:03
know. Did you ever think that you would ever be the person that says,
13:11
you know, God's will not my will? Did you that you would
13:15
say that? I absolutely no. You know, I've I've struggled with the
13:22
understanding of a higher power for for many years, you know, ever since
13:26
I came into the room. So I either picked the doorknow in the corner
13:31
or you know that chair, or you know it's like but but not God,
13:39
but not God, not that through little word, you know. But
13:43
the fact that I'm here today is divine intervention. You know, I've been
13:52
through some some stuff that and I don't like to say I shouldn't be here.
13:58
I've gotten away from that phrase. You know, there's a reason I'm
14:00
here, and you know, just me making it through some of the things
14:05
that have been through. It is somebody looking out for me. So about
14:11
a month and a half ago, I got baptized up at evangel I go
14:16
every Sunday and he's I'm I'm trying to spread that word more man like.
14:22
It's it's still a little uncomfortable for me, it is so cool that you
14:26
got baptized. It was uh, it was time. Were you never baptized
14:33
before? I was? I was when I was a kid. Uh.
14:35
We we went semi regularly to church, and you know it's I drifted away
14:43
for a while, and you know, I'm I'm very wholesomely in it,
14:50
you know, and believer that I have a reason for being here. So
14:54
I just felt it was right to, uh make that, make that change
14:58
that move forward and continue doing what I'm doing. So when you talk about
15:05
like going to church, what does that feel like now? Like when you
15:15
walk through those doors. I mean it's a it's a completely different perception being
15:20
willing and open minded to knowing where I'm getting this energy from, you know,
15:31
or or these these blessings. It's a completely different perspective I used to,
15:37
you know, like like judge what the sermon was about or the underlying
15:43
thing, you know. But it it just really hits home every single week
15:50
to to what the pastor's saying. Pastor Josh is amazing and I was looking
15:54
for him last week. I was I wanted to personally thank him for how
15:56
much he's influenced my life as well, but just continuing to go every week,
16:02
and and I go with a lot of people. Sometimes I don't have
16:07
I always usually always have a plan to go with a group of people,
16:10
sit in the third row or even a few times right behind Pastor Josh,
16:15
And sometimes I don't, but I always run in people that I know there.
16:19
So I'm also attending Alpha Group when I have the time. It's a
16:26
connect group that the church puts on. It's just getting closer to God and
16:30
learning more about the Bible and what our purposes here. That is awesome.
16:37
Again, is that something you ever thought you would? No, But I'm
16:44
but I'm liking it. I feel more of who I'm supposed to be there.
16:48
You're finding your identity I am. So can you identify why you start
17:00
did using I mean, you know, it's it's a disease. It's not
17:06
a choice today. It would be a choice for you because you have a
17:11
lot of recovery under your belt for sure, and talking about and I don't
17:18
know if you're comfortable talking about you know, like genetics was you know,
17:22
did you have a mom or dad or uncle or you know, do you
17:27
kind of know where this came from? Yeah, my my parents have some
17:34
history with alcoholism and just addictive tendencies, you know, mental health issues,
17:45
and so, I mean it was I grew up kind of rough, you
17:49
know, like there was a there's a lot of challenges growing up, not
17:56
a lot of discipline, you know, emotional manipulation a little bit. My
18:07
dad was an alcoholic. I love the guy to death. He's no longer
18:11
here, but I'm sorry, can I Did he pass away from his disease?
18:17
No, he there was a there was an event that happened that he
18:21
got sober. He was a dry drunk for many years. He passed away
18:26
from cpde emphasima smoking cigarettes, which I quit about after I left him patient.
18:33
We couldn't have vapes in there, so I had to keep smoking.
18:37
But but you did it, Yeah, about three months ago. Yay,
18:41
it is I still babe, I'm working on that one. But yeah,
18:48
No, he his his passing, the illnesses he was dealing with kind of
18:56
led me into recovery. When he he had a stroke back in twenty fifteen,
19:04
and I was going to the hospital go see him, you know,
19:12
and didn't didn't know if he was gonna what was gonna happen. So but
19:17
first I needed to get high. You know, and so this had happened
19:22
early in the morning and it literally took you know, twelve hours for me
19:29
to even get to the hospital. After I got my fix and you know,
19:34
getting high in the bathroom at the at at Sanford and then going up
19:41
to see him just emotionally disconnected, I fell apart, like there was just
19:48
all this emotional stuff that I wasn't dealing with properly, and you know,
19:52
seeing him the way that he was and not being able to process it just
19:57
it just broke me, like like I almost forced myself to be emotional.
20:02
And my sister gave me the offer to come out to her place out of
20:07
town and sober up. Very small town, uh and I I'm a city
20:17
boy. Well if Marks, that's about the most city we got or I'm
20:22
familiar with. But uh So I stayed out there for five days and came
20:25
back and the first day back, I reached out to the NA program,
20:30
talked with a gentleman that was sharing meeting there, and he took me to
20:33
my first meeting and my recovery started there. How hard was it for you
20:41
to reach out to somebody, I like, yeah, I yeah, that
20:51
was very nerve wracking going to a meeting talking about feelings and my struggles and
20:56
things that I can overcome on my own. You know, that was that
21:00
was difficult. You know, you don't you don't get that connection in jail
21:06
or lock up or anything like that. So I I remember feeling at home
21:12
when I when I you know, got comfortable and uh, you know,
21:17
it just felt like home right away. And I you know, maybe didn't
21:21
share. I was shaky and my voice sharing it first, you know,
21:26
but but it came quick, you know, and I felt at home.
21:29
So I've I've you know, I've hit the revolving door in recovery in and
21:34
out for some years. But I'm coming up on my longest time clean and
21:41
sober since I first got into recovery. So congratulations, thank you, thank
21:47
you. It feels good. It feels different this time, it feels right,
21:49
you know. But yeah, I I've met some really amazing people that
21:55
are still one of my best friends today. He's really good person to bounce
22:02
some things off, and he's traveling the spiritual journey alongside me and just click
22:07
like that. So this is where I'm meant to be, for sure.
22:11
So we talk about like internal and external and sometimes there's a lot of external
22:17
factors that push us into recovery. Do you have an external factor that like
22:26
we want to kind of while I'm doing this for my kids or my mom?
22:32
Did you have that? Yeah? I mean I've attempted to use the
22:37
external things to keep me sober for a long time. I have a lot
22:41
of people that care about me, and you know, I have a son,
22:47
He's eleven, big, huge inspiration for me to keep doing what I'm
22:53
doing. And you know, I've been a good dad and even you know,
23:00
sometimes under the influence, you know, but I know what I could
23:06
do better, and and it's it's just there's no justification for me to be
23:12
there like that for him. So he really looks up to me. And
23:18
so though there's some external factors that I look you know, forward to continuing
23:25
to stay sober for, but I honestly like just becoming a believer in God
23:33
and finding some some purpose and direction and and learning a little bit more about
23:40
myself is is really where I feel where it's at and a reason for me
23:45
to continue being sober for myself and my potential. Yeah, and then you
23:51
talked about, uh, this is this is my vision you're seeing in your
23:56
dad's hospital round and your sister notices that you need help, she offers her
24:03
home to you. That's really cool. I'm very I'm blessed to have her
24:14
for a sister. She's she's really looked out for the family. She older
24:18
younger than you. She's a half sister and she's older. I don't know
24:23
how, but still she's a half sister and she's like, Steve needs help.
24:30
She's very passionate for her family. And yeah, she was there for
24:33
me, without a without a question. You know. That is so cool.
24:38
What was your drug of choice? And it's yeah, it's pretty much
24:44
everything you know. Recently I got into fentanyl. I had a couple overdoses
24:51
this last summer, meth for many years, alcohol, marijuana, lisca.
25:00
Yeah, but changes your thinking feelings. The thinking feelings don't one drug to
25:08
the next. I'll put one down, pick another one up. But I
25:11
mean it's all just temporary and trying to fill a void with a substance doesn't
25:18
work. So when you had overdoses with ventana, yep, was there somebody
25:25
there with narakan two? Or did you get did nine one one get called?
25:32
Yeah? It happened twice. Luckily, by the grace of God,
25:36
there there were people around. There was narkan both times. The first time
25:42
was really bad. I ended up in ic U for almost a week,
25:48
thirty chance of making it out, Yeah, and only one person stuck around
25:56
to save my life. And like when you were when you overdose, there
26:03
was just one person that was like, hey, I'm gonna save his life,
26:07
my ex girlfriend, and she really put in some work too to make
26:10
sure I got there and you know, got the help I needed. So
26:17
yeah, it's pretty rough. I barely made it out. But again,
26:21
my my son was kind of the one that got me out of that.
26:25
And they couldn't get me to respond for a while, and then they could
26:30
get you to respond. No, I was under I was in a coma
26:34
and couldn't get me to respond. But he showed up and I responded to
26:40
him to his voice, and I came out the next day. So it's
26:45
a miracle and a blessing and magical, I mean the magic of your son's
26:52
voice and a miracle. And yeah, that's very cool. There's he means
27:02
a lot to me. He's he's probably, you know, my my favorite
27:06
thing in the world, no doubt. And there I still you know,
27:10
I'm I'm coming up on four and a half months sober, and I I
27:15
still carry some shame and and some guilt, you know, for some of
27:18
the things he's been through. But you know, it's I know, I'll
27:23
have to process that. I'm on step for right now, and I'm dragging
27:26
my feet a little bit, but you know, it's it's propelling me into
27:33
the life that I'm trying to live now, and and I'm thankful that is
27:37
h very blessed. He's very blessed to have his mom too. She's she's
27:47
in recovery as well. We're still working on co parenting more. But you
27:52
know, at the end of the day, she's done an amazing job and
27:56
she's doing so good at raising him. So I'm I'm blessed to have her
28:00
and the understanding that she does have and the opportunity is still be a father.
28:06
So he's definitely a light for me. So you know, people that
28:15
that don't that don't have this disease, that don't have a substance use disorder,
28:22
so they may say, Okay, I want to try this ventanyl stuff
28:26
out and overdose and get you know, NARCNNED and then they're like, never
28:33
again. We're not like those people. So if you could explain or I
28:41
mean, I know that there's really no way to explain how we think.
28:45
And so when you used again, did you think, oh, it won't
28:51
happen or I'm smarter this time. And I'm not laughing because it's funny.
28:56
I'm laughing at the insanity. I mean when I when I picked up Fatanayl,
29:03
I I had actually tried a couple of times prior, didn't didn't get
29:11
hooked on it then, but when I did get hooked, it's it's so
29:19
hard to put it down, it's so hard to walk away from. I
29:22
mean, I was, I was just losing a lot of things that were
29:29
important to me around me, Like what were you losing? So I had
29:36
a business for some years and I was project manager for a big development here
29:44
in Bismarck, and I had lost that job due to using and some criminal
29:48
activity. And then so I lost that, got another job really good,
29:53
you know, presented well, and lost that one. So like it was,
30:00
it was just a kind of like a domino effect of not being able
30:03
to gain any ground, and you know, just the efforts kind of and
30:10
I picked it up and I couldn't put it down. I mean, it
30:14
was only probably three days to using when I had overdose. And then I
30:19
walked over to Harvey to bump up my level of care because I was in
30:23
aftercare at the time. But I wouldn't do impatient. I'm kind of stubborn
30:30
sometimes but really not at all. But that's a requirement to be in an
30:37
addict, right. We want what we want now. Yes, after I
30:45
got out of the hospital, I walked over to Harvey, walked over to
30:47
the hospital and to pick up my belongings, and it just so happened that
30:52
my ex girlfriend walked in the door of the front of the hospital. She
30:56
was not able to go to my room, but she walked in the door
31:00
as I was walking out and walked back over the trap house after that and
31:04
picked up where I left off. I had just had no direction of where
31:15
I was going. I felt very lost, and I was I was.
31:21
I was really hard on myself at the time too, and it's like,
31:25
I can't explain why I continued to make those choices over and over again,
31:30
but just wasn't in a good place and had didn't see a way out.
31:37
You know, did you ever go into a residential treatment. I did.
31:42
I had no intentions of of getting sobered this last time. But you know,
31:48
God has really brought me to the and and put everything and all the
31:53
things that have happened in my life for a reason. I was dealing with
31:57
some criminal cases. I had some cases coming up, and you know,
32:06
to to save my own behind, I checked myself in the treatment four days
32:12
before a revocation hearing, and by the grace of God, you know,
32:17
he the judge reinstated my probation and didn't send me to prison I had.
32:24
I had skipped the first ravocation court, so this was the second one and
32:29
wasn't looking good. So I just decided last minute, like I'm gonna I'm
32:32
gonna try to do this. I couldn't get into sober living like I had
32:36
wanted, so I was like I was at the Quality in and I walked
32:38
across the street to the New Freedom Center and they accepted me the same day.
32:43
And you know, I, uh, like I said I had,
32:47
I was. I was ready to go to prison, like I was almost
32:51
looking forward to just getting over and you know, the fight being over and
32:54
struggle. So it was I have my bags at the first five days I
33:00
was in there before court. Didn't know what I wanted to do, you
33:04
know, take off, but it just stuck around. I prayed that morning
33:07
and then you were in state of my probation and things have just been continually
33:13
getting better ever since. I had two other cases after that, and even
33:16
the prosecutor on my last case had good things to say about me, which
33:21
has never happened. Yeah, that does not happen. So that the judge
33:25
had good things and the prosecutor as well, and you know, it's just
33:30
more it's just becoming more clear what I'm supposed to be doing, you know.
33:36
So we talked about this disease being one day at a time, and
33:43
even you know, coming on and talking about you know, our recovery.
33:50
It sometimes you know, can can be risky because other people will say,
33:59
well they don't I don't know if they're going to be sober forever. No,
34:01
but it's truly one day at a time, and today I'm going to
34:05
take this risk. And I don't know what happened like to Matthew Perry and
34:12
his you know, but what what a sad thing. We have to work
34:17
hard at this, don't we stay? I'm listening. I like self help
34:23
stuff. I'm listening to a booker right now, and it's about setting goals,
34:31
you know, for me, and you know, I'm I'm I'm very
34:38
in the moment these days. You know, I got a pass today,
34:44
I'm trying to keep back there, you know, and I got a person
34:47
that I'm trying to be in the future. But you know, all I
34:50
really can control is today and myself right now, and you know that's that's
34:55
the only thing I can control. So I have a lot of gratitude today.
35:01
I've had a lot of things that I've lost and taken for granted,
35:05
so I'm humbled with the amazing things that I do still have. And it's
35:12
just about setting goals and achieving those and trying your best and enjoying the work
35:16
that it takes to go into all that accomplishment and continuing to set goals on
35:24
top of that. You know, that finish one has never reached for me.
35:28
So yeah, that's good because we can't get complacence and think I'll just
35:35
take this one day at a times, see what happens. We need to
35:37
do the foo work. Yeah, there's some you know, I say,
35:43
I'm grateful to be an addict. I just I have a very all or
35:46
nothing mentality, and you know, I can put that to some use for
35:52
a good life, which is you know, I've gone both ways with that,
35:58
but but I'm trying to just trying to move forward and put as much
36:00
passion and what I do as I can, you know. And it's that
36:06
passion and putting everything in it. And I like how you say it's it's
36:12
all or nothing because we do nothing and moderation and right and it's hard to
36:16
set bad goal like I will keep my house clean and moderation, no such
36:23
thing. I mean, even this morning, I got house mouth. I'm
36:30
in sober living and I got house mouths because I didn't do my chore twice
36:35
last week. I kind of did it on purpose so that I can clean
36:37
the whole house. But like I just I don't. I can't sit still
36:43
most times. I need to work a little bit more on the meditation side
36:46
of praying, you know. But music helps me a lot with that too.
36:52
But I'm just go, go, go all the time. So I'm
36:53
trying to be an example as well, you know. And our boredom is
37:00
where we make not good choices. What's a house mouse? So I didn't
37:08
do my chore. I didn't get it signed off. Twice this week I've
37:13
been busy. I'm doing snow removal and then talking to two other business owners
37:20
about potentially picking up some more work. But didn't do mature. So I
37:27
got to clean the whole hops, which I killed it. By the way,
37:31
it looks amazing and we're getting a new TV over there today, so
37:36
that's exciting. Just kind of came together at the right time. Yep.
37:39
But yeah, all the way down to shelling the sidewalks. So tell me
37:45
this, what would you do without Silver Living? Where would you be today?
37:50
Well, it's it's another another blessing that I never thought I would be
37:55
doing or accepting as willingly as I am. But I I plan to stay
38:04
till next spring, next summer, just get myself together a little bit more
38:07
on my feet. What was your question? I both like if Sober Living
38:15
wasn't there, because I think all the Silber Livings popping up is like amracle
38:21
for so many. I don't know that it would be doing what I'm doing
38:30
if it wasn't for Sober Living. And the gentleman that started Serenity Bridge,
38:35
I mean, he's he's that sober living house. Me personally is doing amazing
38:40
things and we have a great group of guys at the house and there's a
38:45
lot of there's challenges to come with it, but there's a lot of so
38:49
much support and accountability with it. It's a great thing. It's I would
38:58
love. I mean, I heard F five got shut down on opening there
39:02
sober Living over Mandan a couple of months ago. And it's it's just tough
39:07
to see the stigma, you know, because it's it's such a good thing
39:13
to you know, give people second chances. Just you know, there's a
39:17
stigma around addiction and and everyone deserves the second chance sometime in their life,
39:22
you know. So it's like we need to embrace the people that are struggling
39:27
and you know, home time and time again. With more support, you
39:31
know, we're gonna do great things, you know. And and there is
39:37
that stigma and we're the we are these you know, horrible people, because
39:43
we do horrible things, get into legal trouble whatever when we're using, and
39:50
but boy, when we're sober, we are like the nicest people in the
39:53
world. We're very determined. You know. I've learned learned myself how to
40:01
start from scratch, from the ground up, time and time again. You
40:05
know. So it's like we're very hard working people, very determined helping healthy
40:14
or helpy helping, helping. Sorry, thanks for correct I didn't I didn't
40:21
hear it correctly. But like we'll do anything to help anyone, Oh,
40:23
for sure, Matt will. Yeah. I take it as as I've gotten
40:30
a lot of opportunity, second chances, so I'm more than willing to be
40:32
there for other people than the helping hand. For sure. I volunteer whenever
40:37
I get time off, hooking people up with the rides for a little bit
40:43
of gas money, you know, just supporting people just go go go,
40:50
and trying to help, trying to be outside myself, you know. So
40:54
a little birdie told me that you do some volunteer work at the Dream Center
41:00
sometimes. Yes. Yeah. Can you tell me a little bit about what
41:02
the Dream Center is all about. Yeah. They are an amazing outreach to
41:07
the community for the homeless, and they offer a food bank and breakfast and
41:15
lunch and breakfast and dinner every day. They are a big establishment. I
41:25
was actually down there volunteering the other day and the news came in, so
41:30
I was gonna be on TV, but they lost the footage. Oh no,
41:34
yeah, apparently so looking for I told everyone, like, watch for
41:39
me, and everyone's watching, and like I never showed up on TV.
41:44
It is what it is. But no, I just you know, it
41:52
serves a lot of people in our community. It just feels good to be
41:57
a part of you know. I If anyone has a chance to ever volunteer,
42:02
you should do it. You get so much more out of it than
42:07
what you put into it. So and so I have this this thing with
42:15
food and people being hungry, and it just breaks my heart. So anybody
42:21
who's hungry can go in there and get breakfast and dinner anyway, and extra
42:28
food if they need. And it's just people in the community like volunteering giving
42:35
food. Yep, it's completely nonprofit. There's a lot of businesses that donate
42:42
clothing, winter clothing. I just got some winter clothing from there. Food.
42:49
They have an amazing food pantry. I'd go down there and get food
42:53
kind of often, you know, great dinner, good staff, just all
43:00
around a great piece for the community. And I hear they're more than willing
43:07
to open their doors to n A A A. So I'm thinking about and
43:14
I'm talking with some people about starting some new meetings over there. Oh,
43:17
that would be awesome. They have a great facility and yeah, they're they're
43:23
just willing to open their doors for good cause. Do you believe that the
43:30
bis Miller area has a really healthy, strong recovery so much? I mean,
43:38
I'm I'm familiar with just Bismark mannon, but from from everyone that I've
43:45
talked to about recovery, we have an amazing recovery here here in the area.
43:52
A lot of fellowship, a lot of great people, a lot of
43:54
connections to the community. Rad rad is very much. It's like a bridge
44:01
between the community and recovery. You know, Dave Drake puts on Runners against
44:07
Destructive Decisions every Saturday. Do you go, oh, I'm wearing the shirt
44:13
under this shirt? Yeah I do. I've earned a shirt. So I
44:19
ran in the Bismarck Marathon. I need to make it down there again.
44:23
I haven't been in a few weeks. But there's some great people there,
44:29
great community people. So they do it like that. Where do they do
44:35
it in the summertime? Yep? In summertime it is shelter. Ten.
44:42
I believe I could be mistaken or seven seven thirty Saturday morning. It's a
44:47
five k run and coffee provided shoes. After your third or fourth run,
44:57
they'll provide you with shoes if you need them. And just a great way
45:00
to meet, you know, good solid people. And the judge and I
45:06
believe the chief of police goes. I've been talking to a guy like every
45:12
time I go down there and I wonder if it's him. I don't even
45:14
know who it is, but it's pretty cool. That is cool. Yeah,
45:17
are you an FBI agent? She knows if you could span a day
45:30
with somebody that's still living or deceased, it can be anybody. Who would
45:37
that person be? And why Grant Cardon? Do you know who is that?
45:45
Well, that's one of the audiobooks I'm listening to. He's just this
45:49
billionaire dude who has been through addiction himself. I think when he's twenty five
45:58
he sobered up and became a multi billionaire and just like doing amazing things and
46:05
he's very driven and just yeah, that would be the guy for sure.
46:15
Kind of like like you were talking about earlier, is setting those goals.
46:19
So he did that and yep, and it's his book. Uh ten X
46:25
listening to It's just about you know, setting goal after goal, pushing that
46:31
finish line just a little bit further, and like doing ten times the amount
46:37
then what another person is willing to do as far as work and and getting
46:44
out there and making stuff happen. So I'm I'm just reaching out as much
46:52
as possible myself and meeting new people and trying to be a part of the
46:59
communit as much as possible. Big goals. So so what would you ask
47:06
Grant? Is that his first name? What's his last name? Card?
47:10
Okay, what would I ask him? Yeah, if I'm the guy,
47:20
I don't know, Like, what would I ask him? I don't know.
47:30
How do you do it? I don't He doesn't do it for the
47:36
money. It's just the passion behind it. You know. I'm sure the
47:42
money is there too, you know you're a faire so, but uh,
47:46
I don't just ask for advice and make sure I'm going in the right direction,
47:52
you know, I'm I'm looking to build wealth with my future and that
47:57
you know, financial comes with that, But is just about being a good
48:01
influence in a part of the community and and just making an impact. And
48:07
you know, I do have a story and I would just like people to
48:12
know that second chances are are key. Man Like, we need to embrace
48:21
people that are struggling and help them and you know, be a beautiful world.
48:30
When you look at like the biggest hurdle or the biggest barrier that you
48:38
have overcome, like you've knocked it down. What's one thing that you think
48:45
you've really knocked down? The you know, identity, I guess is a
48:55
big one. I've you know, lived to completely different lives and I've learned
49:01
how to get what I want home by wearing masks and just you know,
49:12
ausadicts and alcoholics you know, how to you know, manipulate to to you
49:16
know, get things and just get our next fix. So I mean just
49:23
finding out a little bit more of who I am on on a deep level
49:29
and living that out. You know, it's probably been one of the biggest
49:35
accomplishments this go around in recovery. And you made some huge changes and I
49:44
really admire that. Thank you. You've gotten into a sober living, You're
49:49
going to meetings with people that are struggling just like we are, and you
49:57
are volunteering your time and trying to make some extra money. And then you
50:07
got busy and you had to be the house mouse, and that teaches you
50:12
like, Wow, it's not all about me. Yeah, I'm very busy.
50:21
I plan on starting business again next spring. It's about you know,
50:29
being myself and creating a good reputation and building sustaining relationships with people even in
50:37
the business world for me, and and you know, continuing to move forward.
50:44
I got I got big plans and and I'm meeting good people and and
50:47
it's things are going great. So I just want to help people find themselves
50:55
and and also be an example that we do recover. We can recover.
51:00
Yeah, absolutely, we don't have to stay in that quicksand we can move
51:07
forward. Well, I am so glad that you came on the program today.
51:13
I'm so grateful to be here. Well, you're just You're really an
51:16
inspiration. Thank you, And I was thrilled that somebody put a little bug
51:24
in your ear and you called. And I appreciate that. She's a very
51:30
good friend. I have a close group of friends today talk with every day.
51:35
And she's an inspiration as well, and she's doing amazing things, So
51:38
shout out hey. Is that different too, Like when you like having a
51:43
relationship with a female like you can really have a relationship with a female and
51:47
it doesn't have to like we're going to get married now, right. I'm
51:53
creating great friendships, just keeping it friendships, you know. You know,
52:00
there's some things I'm doing yeah for myself, and I'm just inviting the right
52:07
people into my life to have the same intentions and goals in mind. So
52:13
the great people out there, thank you very much. Thank you. Would
52:17
you be willing to close with the Serenity Preyer, of course, thank you.
52:22
Thank you. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
52:28
change, the courage change things I can, and the wisdom to know the
52:32
difference. Thank you so much. Stank