Latest / What's Up Fool? Podcast / Jose Raymond - Ep 593

Transcript

Jose Raymond - Ep 593 · What's Up Fool? Podcast

• 0:32
  Speaker 1: What's up fool? What's up everybody man? We're right here today.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Rizzo is late, you know, man. You get 200,000 followers, man,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: and you don't pick up phone calls no more, man.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: You're late to podcasts. You don't have time, man.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: You don't have time.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: You're out there doing reels, putting up comedy reels every
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: fucking hour and shit. You didn't have time to hate
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: the other one that was up. Wait a minute, how
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: could I hate this video if I can't have time
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: to see the other two videos? He's probably doing a
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: video right now, man. He was at an influencer's convention.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Taking off, man.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man. We got Jose Raymond right here, man. What's up, man? Man,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: this guy right here, man, I thought I knew him
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: from hanging out with Joey Diaz. And I really thought.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: It was another Jose.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I thought you were hanging out with Joe Diaz, man.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: You were like hanging out with him. But I saw
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: you in a photo with him one time and Willie
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Barsano was in a photo. Yeah.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: And it's special.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: But you grew up in Watts.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Nicholson Gardens.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Nicholson Gardens.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: But that's where you grew up, right? Later on you
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: went to Hawaii. Yeah. What was that like, man? When
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: did you want to be a comedian?
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Sure, when I was in Hawaii.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: I was working.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I used to be a chef, dude. First, thank you
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: for having me, dog.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Also, man, happy birthday, man. It's our first time meeting
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: each other. Thank you. Happy birthday.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I was going to say, happy birthday to you, too.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: We smoked weed before the show.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man. Happy birthday, man. Thank you, dude.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: So what made you want to be a comedian?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: So I used to be a chef in Maui. So
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: shout out to all the cooks and chefs out there.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: It's a hard job, dude. I used to work a
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: lot of hours. And then I was going home, and
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I heard a commercial for a contest. for the Funniest Comedian,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: $ 50 in Wailea, in Maui. And I went and tried it, won,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: then I tried it again, and I was like, all right,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I can make some money here. It wasn't really like
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: to be a comedian, you know, it's just like 50 bucks.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: So then I thought, like, oh, maybe I could do
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: this for reals. Won a contest and another contest, and
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I met Gabriel out there. I went to one of
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: his shows.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: What year was that?
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: 2012. 2011. He used to come out with Alfred.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I wasn't there. Noel.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Little guy.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: No G.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Brad Williams? Nah, nah.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: This dude little just.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, it was fucking kitty kitty. Probably. Kitty kitty. Noel Gonzalez. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: My boy with the lazy eye. I don't mean to
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: call him that, but I forget his name.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Why do? That's all right, bro. Everybody forgets him.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: No, you don't. We don't need him. We don't need
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to know his name.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: What's his name?
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I know. My bad, though.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Shout out to him.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: He funny.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I feel like he was named him.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about? I'm getting a sty now, bro.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I'm getting pink eye right now.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: But yeah, dude.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Back in the day, though, 2012, how long ago was that?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Like 15 years ago?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: 14 years ago.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: So you met him, then you walked up to him?
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he said, give me some advice. He said, move.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: So move on.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: He's a big guy, bro. You got to move out
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: the way for him. But then what did he say?
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Just move. So then I moved to L.A. back to
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: do comedy. I've been racking up shit since 2014. Where
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: did you move to when you moved out here? Because
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: that's a risk, man. Because sometimes you meet people, especially me.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I never had told anybody. And if you're like.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Comedians in Chicago, man, that I met, comedians in Boston,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: and I told your asses, don't ever move to LA.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I said, you stay here, you'll be the funniest comedian
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: here first. And then, because a lot of people that
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: tell you that move to LA, I would tell these people,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: you know why they like you here in Chicago? I'm
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: going to tell you why they don't like you here
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: in Chicago. Because they don't see you at the Laugh
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Factory every Monday. And when... When you want a guest spot,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: they just give it to you, man. Because they haven't
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: seen you all year and they're happy to see you.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: But if you see all the time, they're not going
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: to call you. Yeah.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: You got to be touring. But get big in your city. L.A.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: is cool. But it's hard out here, man. I moved
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: back with some homies that was not doing too good.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: But shout out to them because they let me stay
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: in their studio.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: So when you came out here, you started off the
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Ha Ha World Club. Yep.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: I used to call them. Cold call. You remember this?
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: They used to call people and say, you're giving away tickets.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: And they would give me free time at the open mic.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Rizzo, he's doing that right now. He's a telemarketer.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I know him from back in the day. He used
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: to run shows in Inglewood.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I remember one time, bro. There was a comedian. And
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: he went around telling people that I told him to
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: go get a tape. Because I don't trust your comedy.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And I've never told anybody to go get a tape.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like, am I going to
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: go up and do your show? And I have a
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: bar show. But I just, he said I told him,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: go get a tape first. Right? But then I remember,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: but now in retrospect, I'm thinking about it right now,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: that fool's a DJ, bro, or the light guy at
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: the Haha. So, I didn't know this fool was a comedian.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say his name, bro. He's probably still
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: a DJ.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: For sure.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: But that was like an honest mistake, you know? But
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I don't think I ever told that fool to go
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: get a tape.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: That's like back in the day.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: But then again, if he would have got the tape
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: and if he would have went to his car and
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: then ran back and told me, hey man, I got
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: my tape right here. That was... That would mean that
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: in my head, I would have probably broken in the
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: floor and go, you suck, dog. You fucking suck, okay?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Because if you have a tape ready, man, that means
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you fucking give out this whack-ass tape to everybody. He goes, no, man,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not you. You suck. Because somebody asked me one time, man,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: this booker, because he booked me, and I did well.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: But he booked me by chance, like somebody put the
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: word out on me, I guess. But he asked me, hey, man,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: how do I know if a comedian is funny, man,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: without watching him in stand-up comedy? And I said, well, man,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: if you ask that comedian to send me a bio
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: and a picture and an 8x10 and credits and a tape,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: And if that tape is FedEx the next day or
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: UPS the next day, that comedian fucking sucks. Okay? He sucks, bro.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Put away the tape, bro. You are going to take
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: a loss this week at Richland, Washington with his guitar
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: comic from the 909.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Or So what's the best way to get booked for
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: anybody that wants to get booked?
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: So I told the owner, listen, man, if you ask
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the comedian, after you already booked him, after you already
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: booked him, and you ask him, hey, man, can you
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: send a tape? And he goes, oh, man, I already
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: sent that shit. And then two weeks later, you ask
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: him again, hey, man, are you going to send that picture, man?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to put your photo up. That motherfucker's funny, bro.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: He's probably been wearing the same socks all week. He
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: probably smokes Marlboro Lights and drinks fucking vodka and orange
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: juice for breakfast.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Screwdriver.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Hilarious.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: No screwdriver.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Nah, dog. What's up, fool? Man, we got our fucking
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Jose Raymond right here, man. From Hawaii. You have a show?
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: You have shows coming up? Yeah, man.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: All week here in LA. Tonight I'm at the Long
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Beach Laugh Factory. If anybody's in Long Beach. And then tomorrow,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: we're in Torrance at Rhino's. You heard of this? Rhino's
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Black Factory? The Rhino's Comedy Club. Shout out to my boy, AD.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Look at my Instagram. Comedy store tomorrow at 11.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Are you a regular there?
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: At the comedy store? Not the regular at the comedy store,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: but regular at Crack Them Up Thursdays. Oh, Crack Them
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Up Thursdays.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: I do a lot of, like, urban black shows. Jose Raymond, comedian.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: You're going to put your last name?
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: No.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: That's my last name. But Sundays, we're at Chocolate Sundays, man.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it was the last time you
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: were there.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Go give a follow, people, man, for his birthday.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Hey, that is me.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: What's your Venmo, bro?
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And I got hacked, bro. This is a new Instagram.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: You got hacked?
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: You should write right there on top, hacked at 500,000.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: What did I put? I put something.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's hacked. Hacked at a million and five.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: You got to put how many people you had before
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: they hacked. You got to put hacked at 1.5 million.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Trying to come up again. And then people just read it. Oh, man,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: that's fucked up. Fucking AI took his followers. Bing. Follow. Yeah, man.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Sunday, I'm at Chocolate Sunday at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: 7 o'clock show.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Pookie.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: And I got booked today. Who did I get booked by?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Because of this podcast.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: No, no, not today, too. Yeah, shout out to Pookie.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: But I got a show in Hawaii coming up now
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: with this comedian named Felipe Esparza.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah?
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he just booked me on the show, man. Thank you.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: When are you going to be there?
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: October 23rd, man.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: October 23rd at the Hawaii Theater. I got people in
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Hawaii watching.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: So you work with Tommy Davidson? Yeah, man. What's that like?
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: From all the movies.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: What do you think?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: He's a legend. What?
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Is that Rizzo?
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Oh. At least I came in. I thought I was
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: doing something wrong.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Felipe is baked. He was supposed to be here with Mario, right?
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Mario, man. You know Mario from Atlanta?
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Man, really, man?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: He made the connection.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: He was supposed to be the guest with Jose. That guy?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I thought it was going to be Mario from fucking
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Corpus Christi. Super Mario. But it's Mario, the guy from Atlanta.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: The jiu-jitsu dude. You hear me trying to choke your
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: ass out?
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: How do you know that dude?
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I did a show in Atlanta.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: You were headlining? Yeah. Where at?
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: What was it, Beto? What was it called? Atlanta Comedy Corner.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Uptown Comedy. Uptown Comedy Club. In the daytime with no curtains.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: It was terrible. But shout out to them. And Mario
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: came out and did a guest spot, man. And then
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I did a show with Super Eagle.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: How do you do Mario?
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: He get in there. He did funny for what it was,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: and then he getting funnier. Eric, Super Eagle, he did
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: a show out there, and I featured for him at
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: the same club.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Super Eagle?
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Eric Ochoa.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Eric, man. Hey, what's up, brother? Yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: What's up, brother?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: What's up, man?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Good to see you. What's up, Martin?
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: My bad, bro.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I didn't know you texted me earlier. What's up, dude?
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Good to see you.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: I thought you were new. Welcome to the show, man.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Are you going to.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Sit anywhere?
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: What's up, guys? We got Rizzo right here, man. He
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: just came from the movie set of Kindergarten Cop. And
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: he's playing the baby daddy. He's playing the dad that
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: wants to take away the kid from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Look
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: him up.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: I remember that movie when all the moms saw Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: They all wanted to fuck him.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Remember?
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: All the moms got all horny.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: This is a family show, bro.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: My ass.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: We're baked, by the way. We smoked a lot of weed.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, you guys are high?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: There you are right there, bro. That guy.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, shit. Is that the main guy? The main evil guy?
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: I need to get a haircut, bro.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: What's he doing now?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Comic Con. He's like seven years old now.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: I've seen that guy in a whole bunch of other movies.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was in that movie Three O'Clock High. He
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: told that guy I'm going to beat your ass after school.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: Somebody said I turned into Daria or I looked at.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You look like somebody, bro, that is mad that the
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: mayor hasn't done anything about Taking care of pet bulls, bro.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: The Mayor of Downey?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Whoa, now you look like, bro, you're trying to steal
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: your corner's art.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Bro, I know. My hair looks weird long. I need
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: to cut it, bro.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: No, don't cut it. It looks good, bro.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, it looks good?
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: When I see that hair, bro, I look like... I
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: think about... She's the Broken Candles. Pro Jam, bro. Oh, yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Pro Jam. Fuck yeah, dude.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Your baby pod jam.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: What's up?
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, hell no. You're this guy.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: Matan. Hey, don't you think? How do you do his
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: voice again?
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: You got to.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: If you think you are Mexican.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: You got to pretend you're holding your breath.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: You had it right there.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Pretend you're holding your breath with your mouth open and
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: then start talking.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Who are you?
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: That does work.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: We're here at.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: The What's Up World Podcast.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: But just do it hard like this and then put
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: your head down and then do it. You know?
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: We're right here at the What's Up World Podcast with
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Felipe and Jose Raymond. What's up, guys?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: What's up, man? We're here with Jose Raymond, bro.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: It's right up down the house. Honolulu, bro. What's up, dude?
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: You not going?
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: I'm not going, no, no.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: He's been like, so many times you've been to Hawaii already.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: So many times. Yeah, I like it, bro. Honolulu, dude,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Oahu has a ghetto area, bro.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I know that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, dude, like, the locals would... The locals would check
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: you if they know you're... Of course, if they know
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: you're from... What happened?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Tell me what happened.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: No, I'm just going to a bar, like.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Tell me the story.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Going to a bar years ago, and, like, the locals,
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: they're like, they're just, you know, they just kind of,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: they know when you're from, like, California or from, like,
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: out of the... Out of the island. They know you're
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: from the mainland, you know?
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: What happened? What happened?
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: They mess with you?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: You could tell they were kind of like, hey, brother.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: It's like everywhere.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Fucking Sinaloa, bro. But there's a whole bunch of Mexicans
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: out there. Sinaloa, homie.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: That's Beto. He is from Sinaloa. You just guessing right now?
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: I said Sinaloa, bro.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: That's a good shirt.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: So you went with Willie Barsena? How'd you meet Willie Barsena?
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I forgot how, but somebody got me to drive him
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: to Bakersfield for a gig.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my first one. You know
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: how we do. You guys know how y'all do.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Hey, Bakersfield's not bad, bro. I drove that food to Boccaville.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: That's the drunkest I've ever been.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: He goes, you know how you guys do. Bro, I
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: don't do that anymore, but damn.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Anymore.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: I remember. Yeah. I remember somebody hitting me. That's how
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Gary Glesser got his first show. With Willie? No, on
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: the road. Rudy Moreno hit up Willie Barsani. He goes, hey, man,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I need a comedian that can go do a show
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: in Tucson, Arizona for $ 60. And I said, $ 60? Hey,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: give me that. And I said, bro, I got just
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the guy, bro. And I called that fool up and
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I said, listen, man, there's a guy named That's willing
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: to pay you $ 50. I was going to keep $ 10.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Agency fee right here.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: See how we do? Damn, bro.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's a business. I said, listen, bro. I didn't
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: mention the $ 60 until at the end, bro. I'm a salesman.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Because before I had this, before I woke up comedians,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I had to convince security guards to fucking wake up
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: earlier and go stand somewhere for eight hours. So I said, listen, man.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: What are you doing this Wednesday night? He goes, okay. Man,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: would you like to go to Arizona to do a show?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: You'll be hosting. And they'll give you your own hotel.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: And they'll fly you. And the guy picks you up.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: And he takes you to eat like one of the
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: bombest mariscos in Tucson, Arizona. What? No, for real, bro.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I heard that they got like shrimp quesadillas. Damn. And
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: after the show, they'll give you like 60 bucks.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: So you upped it up. You're like, man, a plane,
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: a hotel, free food, and.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Then that's you. Bro, you start off with $ 60. You
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: think that flight's going to be frontier already. And the hotel,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: you think it's going to be like a hotel that
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: used to be connected to a golf course. But now
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: they're separated, so nobody cares about the hotel anymore.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: That's a good way to sell stuff, bro.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: And I'm correct, bro. That's the way it was. So
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: what's up, man? Talk to us, bro. What's going on, bro?
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: That's how I met Willie.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: It's his birthday, bro.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Happy birthday, bro.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: You want to know, bro, where the best mariscos? You
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: should take him out to the show. Yeah, yeah.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Comment the best mariscos in LA.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: You want the mariscos with the girls with the big
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: old fucking eyebrows?
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Nah, I don't give a fuck about ass.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Siete mares, dog.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: The motherfucker said ass. I want to eat some good mariscos.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Mexican style, not just seafood.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, so I was at.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Isla Ita around the corner.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: There's so much to spot. Isla Ita's good. Any siete
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: mares in Boyle Heights?
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: I'm headed towards Long Beach. Oh, you're on beach? Yes,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: at the Laugh Factory. So anything over there.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, man.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Linwood, bro.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Linwood.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I was on a three-day binge.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: And somebody picked me up to go eat mariscos, and goddamn, bro,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: they drove me from my house way the fuck over
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: there by Downey, and it was a marisco place right
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: next to a place where they do auto body repair.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah it was fire huh I bet it was fire.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: But I never had I was chiles bro.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Oh I love dude that's my favorite dude pinche with
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: a cocktail.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Bro I never had one of those man I thought
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: it was like two different things but yeah it was
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: like it was ceviche bro but it was like just
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: a whole shrimp.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: And um Green chili, green salsa, right?
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I was in a good one already. My face was hot.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: And I fucking, I just folded the plate with the
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: seven shrimp. And I went like this. I started chewing
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: them all like that, bro. Fucking.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: Like the whale from Pinocchio, bro. You didn't know.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I told myself I wasn't going to drink, bro. But
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I started drinking right there, bro. 1130 in the morning.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: You need to drink with Mariscos, bro. You have to, right?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Especially when you say I'm not going to drink. When
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: you tell yourself you're not going to drink, you're going
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: to drink.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I thought I had a thread right here in my fucking,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: I thought I had a thread or something.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: A little bone.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: That threw up, bro. I threw up in the bathroom.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I ran.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Wasted the marisco.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: One of the bathroom, bro, where the toilet was wrapped
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: with chains.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Like, people steal them?
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but the mariscos be fired here. This is the hood,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: but it's good.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Okay, so the place, the good place that you got
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: to go is in, I recommend in Huntington Park. It's
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: called Mariscos Sinaloa. I go there. I shot a couple
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: videos there. It's good fucking food, bro. It's in Huntington Park. Yeah, Milindo, Sinaloa. Bro,
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: I think the cartel party's there, bro. For sure. Pinches nalgonas, bro. Fucking, like.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh, it's local. Yeah, it looks good. But
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: you get pink eye, you know?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Where's that from? Like Texas?
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: Arizona? They're everywhere out.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Here, bro. It was bad, dude.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: So you got fucked.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: That was good.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: But did you throw up because of the Marisco? Did
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: you throw up because of your fucked?
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I think because it was a combination of a lot
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: of things, man. Because that was like the second time
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I had ceviche with mayonnaise on it. And, you know,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: we don't have mayonnaise, so we don't know. Look, look.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever seen him close a jar,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, dude, that shit spoils, man.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: So I was getting crispy mayonnaise probably.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Crispy mayonnaise?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to blame the food, bro. I'm just
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: going to blame me. Because I was awake for three
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: days straight, you know? So my body was not right, man.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: And I was very self-conscious about my underwear.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: You were wearing the same underwear for three days? Did
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: you ice flip it inside out?
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not like you, bro. I can just buy underwear
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: and throw it away.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Look at the waitresses. They're really nice out there. They
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: take care of you. Oh, their Instagram.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: They're trying to sell me to eat at this place
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: because of the waitresses.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: You tell me, Jose.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: And after that story, I don't know if I want
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: to eat my riscos. No, it's because he was on
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: a three-day... I told myself I'm not going to drink either, man.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be at the Grand Prairie in Texas, October.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: All those locals in there, man.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Second, with Ralph Barbosa, Alfred Robles, Carlos Miller. And whoever
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: else will be there, I will be there, man. Look
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: for me, man. If you want to hand me something
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: in my pocket, let me know.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's illegal out there, huh?
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Your mom's illegal, bro. Hey, bro.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: She just got her.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Hey, bro.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: She's going to get her thing. Mine, too.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Mine, too. Don't worry, man.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: She's going to get her citizenship.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Hey, we good? We good? Brothers were chasing your mom
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: out of fucking La fucking La Vallarta, bro. No, mi orden.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, the video. I saw people fight. But you know,
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Vallarta actually has, no, Northgate has some really good mariscos too.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: Some good Aguas Chilas.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: So you picked up, who called you and said, hey man,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Because that's how they get you, right? But then at
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: the end, they go, but you got to drive this guy. Yeah.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I forget who, man. I think it was, you know,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Victor Vasquez?
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Who?
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Victor? Theo Vasquez.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Victor Vasquez.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. From everywhere. This movie, everywhere.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: He gets a perfect haircut where it goes over his
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: bald spot. It doesn't, I don't know.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: He's the one probably that puts him down.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Listen, bro, that fool likes the bears. He's having a
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: birthday show. 60 years A birthday show this weekend I
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: think Dio Vic Yeah.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: Dude He's got a Spanish show tonight I.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Think He grew up next to Willie He's from the
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: summer league area Same.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: High school Yeah What high school they went to Marshall, Washington.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Marshall Yeah We were in preschool Dio Victor man Hell yeah.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Dude But a lot of shows like that Right driving
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: around people and shit.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: That's all it is What happened Yeah they told you
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: You got a picture Oh Victor said Hey man I
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: want to pick this guy up, man. We were in
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: third grade together.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sure he'd give you that. Something like that.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: There's that joke that Willie says, don't tell people we
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: were in the same.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Grade, bro. And Phyllis. And Phyllis, yeah. Phyllis.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Michael, we're like the same age.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: We thought you were gay.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: So they hit you up and then you.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Went in and opened for Willie.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Was it the Fox? It was a bar in Bakersfield.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: No, it was a bar.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: Was it with that one weird guy, fucking Ilalio?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Ilalio. He's probably watching right now. He's weird, too.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: Ilalio's a weird fucking booker from Bakersfield. I'm going to
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: talk shit right now, dude.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: This guy from fucking Bakersfield, he looks like fucking Shakespeare
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: from Bakersfield. It rhymes. And then he, I guess, so
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: I was doing a show in Visalia with G. Riley
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: and Alfred. And then somebody, and after that, I guess-
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: An opener was out there from, like, the area, and
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: I guess he did one of his jokes, and then
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: he messaged me on fucking, on Facebook. Hey, bro, I
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: heard that somebody did one of my jokes out there.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: You better not fucking done it, because I... And he
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: was talking shit to me, like, motherfucker. Dude, I was mad.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I was like.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I was weird.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: He chill, bro.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: Is he weird?
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Is he cool now?
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: You know how comedians are.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. We're all weird.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: And I started talking shit to him, and after that,
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: he stopped... He stopped messaging me. He stopped booking me, too.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: But he was Bakersfield's main booker from 2010 to 2012.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: A good two years. He had Bakersfield and Locke.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: And Inside Jokes, too. He booked me at Inside Jokes.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, Inside Jokes. The Chinese Man's Theater. Remember they had
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: a comedy club there?
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Russell Simmons shit.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: Is he still doing comedy?
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: El Alio?
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I haven't seen him in a while.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Fuck that guy. But yeah, man.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: You know how it goes on the road.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: So what happened, bro? You picked him up. How was
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: it like being in the car with that fool? It
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: was wild. He napped or what happened?
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Nah, it was cool on the way there, but then
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: the next day, hangovers. You know how it is.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I do.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Especially like old school Willie. I think he's doing better now.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: He wakes up like nothing happened, too, you know, the
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: next day.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: It was the first night. Tequila, beer.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: You had one show?
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: One show.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: You know, I told you the first time I went
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: with him somewhere? He was doing the Planet Gemini in Monterey.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Dude, that place with the twins.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Bro, that's how I got a guest spot, dog. You
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: just drove them. Bro, we left late. We left around 345.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: That's like a five-hour drive.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Exactly, bro. When we got there, that fool just brushed
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: his teeth in the fucking sink of the club. And
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: we had that face, bro, like we were staring at
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: the road. with a crazy motherfucker driving 80 miles an hour, bro.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: Looking at cows all fucking day.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Looking at cows, bro. We only pulled over once, bro.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: And it was like being in the car with your daddy.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Here we go, baby. Give us a shoulder. We got
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: to go, dog. We got to go. We got there, man.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: And it was just in time for that food to
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: go up on stage.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: No fucking way. Those are the worst gigs.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Bro, the feature act just cut off. And the emcee
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: was going like this. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, you're ready.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Your headliner's here.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: They were probably just extending until he comes.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: We stood there. And then, yeah, bro, we haven't even
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: checked into our rooms, bro.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Straight to the stage. It'd be like that.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Wow. I was in the back seating, bro. I didn't
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: even get to go up. I knew it.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: Because you missed your spot.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because he was a hater.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I should have just went to the comedy store. I
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: could have just not went up over there. At least
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I blew it to my house.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: But did you have fun, though, at the motel they
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: have out there by the ocean?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I had fun, bro. I didn't hang out with anybody, bro.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: You partied out there?
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I wasn't not partying. I was sober. Oh, shit. Me
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and Willie Barsena, bro, we went to the local gym
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: in fucking Monterey the next day to play basketball.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: And the fact that he was probably so fucked up
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: the night before and he still was playing basketball, too.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: How'd it go?
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, man. First of all, bro, it was not one
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: of those parks like in South Central or L.A. where
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: you just say, we got next. Everybody knows by law
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: there's five of you guys. You got next. Right? Or
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: you could say, Me and this fool, all three got next.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: So the losing team of that team, two of those
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: fools could go in your team, and now you have five, right?
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: So that fool said, I got next, like two times.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: And finally this nerdy ass fool showed up and said, oh,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: you mean you want to play? You got to put
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: your name here on this clip.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Like an open mic, bro?
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Got to sign up.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: You need your first and your last.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: Hey.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: And then there was like, man, I left, dog. I
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: started like, The fool was playing basketball, bro. Like Woody Harrelson, bro,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: and white man can't jump at the end. I'm in
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: the zone, man. I'm in the zone, man. Are you
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: angry yet? I'm in the zone, man. I'm in the zone.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, hey, motherfucker, I ain't even playing. I'm
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: going to go over there and play tetherball, bro, and
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: we're all safe. Who's your experience like?
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: With Willie?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Hey, bro.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: It was dope, man.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: It was good.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: It's like comedy. I did 11 months with Willie. But
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: you know how it is. Shit happens, man. It was enough.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: You got to outgrow sometimes. When you're featuring, you know,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: you got to be like, all right, I can move on.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: Because if you just get stuck in, you don't... Yeah,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: you're right.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah, dude.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: You got to take a risk. You can't be on everybody's... Like, coattails,
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: they call it? Coattail riding?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: But... I seen Willie one time, bro. He did a
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: joke in Sacramento, a religious joke. He did a Jesus joke.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: He's got a joke about his mom buying him a
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Jesus statue in Tijuana. And then Sacramento is like a
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: lot of like, Raza, like Mexican cholos.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, old school.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, rosaries and shit. And he did the joke and
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: somebody didn't like it. Security, next thing, fights. The whole
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: room started fighting, like 200 people rumbling.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Fuck!
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Chairs.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Chairs.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I was just watching, bro, like, damn.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Where were you on Willie when this happened?
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: I was smoking a cigarette when I was coming up,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: and my homeboy Patrick was about... You ever seen people
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: jump rope, like double-dutch and shit, and they're about to
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: jump in like this? My homie Patrick was doing this,
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: like he was about to jump in a fight. Willie
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: was on stage. It was just loud. I remember, like, damn,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: and I was hot as bait. Just stay out of it.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: So basically, Willie Barsena turned into Big Bob in La
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Bamba at that show. It was.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: But.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: They calmed it down. And the show kept going. After
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: the fight. Over at Jesus Joe. This is rowdy shit.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: Willie is Bob from La... Willie is... Dude, you're... Oh,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: my God, dude.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: It's not my first, bro.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: It's not my first or my last.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Or my last.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: But what if he yelled on that bridge?
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, dude, those adventures I had with Willie, man,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: were crazy, man. Going back in.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: Because I drove him from LA to... So I remember
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: there was a party that the Tonight Show were having
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: because this one rider was retiring. So they were having
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: a party at El Torito in Burbank right there. So
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: then I picked up Willie and he's like, hey, bro,
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: we got to fucking watch your car, bro. We can't
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: show up like this. It's fucking embarrassing, bro. So then
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: we watched my car right there by Echo Park. You
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: know where the taco truck right there on Alvarado and Sunset?
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: That's a good one, by the taco truck.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: That taco truck is good, bro. The orange fucking sign.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: And then across the street, it's a burrito that's been there.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: For years, bro.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: When you get the burrito there, you got to tell
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: that guy straight up before you say anything, man. Listen, man.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Don't put none of those thick-ass bell peppers, man. I
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. Who's back there cutting fucking five-inch
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: bell peppers, bro? Put it in everything.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: It's like fucking Tommy's where they cut those big old
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: fucking pieces of tomatoes.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Don't put a whole bush of wet ass cilantro in
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: my fucking burrito, eh? I got a lot of things
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: to say. I'm eating everything there, bro. I was a
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: fat ass.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: You live right there, you know?
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Give me a hot dog with a burrito in it.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: What the fuck? It was right next to the bright
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: spot right there.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Man, when I was living there, I used to eat
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: there and over there. Around the corner, there used to
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: be a Mexican restaurant, and that's the only place I
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: used to trust for cocido. Oh, yeah. So I would get, like,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: a big old chuck meat like this with all the
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: vegetables and chile pequins and jalapenos and cilantro. And I
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: would eat meat.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: Little calabacitas.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I would get a side of beans, bro, and rice,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: and I'd fuck that up. And right next door, this place,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: they used to fix handbags. So I had to fix
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: my shoes, bro. They were so warm and shit. And then, bro,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: I felt like my teeth were loose, right? One time.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: And I went to the dentist upstairs. It was a
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Chinese man. And that fool said, you know, your teeth
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: are loose. I know, that's why I'm here. What do
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: you think I should do?
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: He said, you should.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Just pull them out now. They're not going to fall out.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like, bro. That was before I met Lisa.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: That was way before anything, dog. And that was before
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: Gabriel Iglesias took my wisdom tools out. And I said,
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: now what else can you do? He goes, well, I'll
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: make a brace to hold the teeth together for now.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: So he made this cement, I guess, and he put
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: it all in my mouth, right?
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Shh.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: And I just protect it, you know, from falling off,
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I guess. But I brush my teeth back there, bro,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: once a week, bro. Okay.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: Because you're partying.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: So that thing started getting plaque.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, la placa.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: I thought one day I was all tore up, and
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I started picking at it. And I said, oh, my God,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: this is all plaque. I thought it was plaque, bro,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: like from not brushing your teeth fully. I pull all
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: that out, dog. With what?
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: Like a pick?
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: My hand, bro. I just started playing with it for
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: a long time. You know, because some people get high
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: and they'll pick their scabs, you know.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: Like Scante Warriors, they'll do that. Yeah.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: I don't have a face like Edward James almost, you know.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: So I'm very superficial and I'm very narcissistic.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Narciso.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: So I said, fuck it, I'll just take my plaque out.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: So I took it out and I had a chunk
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: left that I couldn't take off And that piece stood
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: in there forever, bro. No. Forever, bro. Until one day,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I went to a dentist. I go,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: what the fuck is that? Oh, man. That was to
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: hold my teeth together with this thing. Damn. Yeah.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: We're talking about Echo Park. And then it went to...
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: It went to... That was a Chinese guy, bro.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: He was like.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Everything I did, and I always did everything at Echo Park, bro.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: One time when I was sick, I was sick. I
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: don't know where to go. I went to a little
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: free clinic, a little Chinese lady, bro. I paid $ 100,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: and she gave me a physical, everything. She gave me
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: medicine for my hemorrhoids, for my cough, my influenza. Fuck.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: Influenza? That's a fucking old ass disease, bro.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: I came back from New York one time. I'm about
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: to have pre-COVID, bro, or the swine flu or the
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: chicken flu.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: The swine flu.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I was sick, bro. I was sick, dog. I was
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: so sick. I lost like 14 pounds in a week.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah, dude.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: Summer body, bro.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: It's the best diet plan.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: So that's crazy, man. Willie Barsena started. That was the
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: first night?
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: The first night? Hell no. That was down the road.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: The first night was Bakersfield. Great night. I think it
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: probably was.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Fuck that guy, dude. But you know what? He did
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: put on a lot of shows that people would come out.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: I remember me, I used to drive out there with
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: fucking with Chivago. When you're a young comic, a hotel
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: is just fun, you know? If you get a free hotel.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Chivago, bro. You went for USC.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you did, yeah. But you know how it is, Felipe, right?
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: When you're young, comic, and you get a free hotel,
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: and here you're just thinking, I'm going to go fuck, bro.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: Is that just me?
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: You know what? That wasn't me. I was just excited, bro,
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: to sleep in a better place than I had at
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: home first. I was like, oh my God. I could
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: put this air conditioner to 65. And nobody's going to
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: say nothing.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Your landlord's not going to fucking nugget?
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: I'm on the third floor. I could scream and cry
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: about nothing. And nobody's going to yell.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: The first time, bro, I noticed that I was on
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: the road. I was doing a show somewhere, bro. And
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I looked out the window. It was fucking pitch black. Like,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: not even a shadow or nobody's teeth. An owl. Pitch black.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Fucking black, bro. Then I realized, bro, that I had
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: the blankets over my head, dog. And I was screaming.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: It was here.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: No, I was doing a gig, bro, in like in
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: a desert somewhere, Coachella probably. It was pitch black. Damn.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: You were bombed. When you bombed so hard, you said, man,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go back to truck driving or something. Yeah.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I bombed.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: Take us to that bombing, bro.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Victor Vasquez took me to a show in Colton, California.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: You know what, bro? Victor Vasquez seems like a bad influence,
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: this guy.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: He's like the culprit of all the bad things here.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Because that was like back in the day when you
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: started out. Now he's a good dude, man.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: Victor Vasquez has nothing to lose, bro.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: He was like two divorces, bro.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, two divorces.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: Victor was telling me the last time I put a
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: gun on somebody.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: He wild, bro.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Big Vastos has nothing to lose, bro. He has three divorces, bro.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: I think it was COVID, man. It was a lowrider show.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: And people couldn't get close.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: With a cargo and mask.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: On. Regardless.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: Regardless. So what happened, bro?
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: The 30 minutes of silence in the middle of the sun.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: And Colton with lowrider, old school cholos.
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: Colton's hot, bro.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: With an echo, yeah, speaker. Nobody sitting there. Nobody was
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: in the front. Everybody was in the street. But it
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: makes you tough, right? Those shows.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: They make you strong, bro. Dude, we used to do
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: car shows.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Like, it was like.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: What's wrong with that? We took a lot of dabs.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: No, but seriously, bro. Let's focus here.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: That was the worst one.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: 30 minutes, bro.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: In the sun.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: I remember 30 minutes. I remember one time, man, like.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I saw somebody bomb, and Martín Moreno, he never could
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: say that fool fucking sucked like the way I did.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Me and Gabriel Iglesias, we'll grab somebody's tape recorder and
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: grab and go, you fucking suck, bro. Get off the
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: fucking stage and put the tape recorder back down, bro.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Or this other comedian, he was a piece of shit
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: worse than us. He'll grab their set list and start
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: tagging up their jokes. And you can smell his bad
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: breath on the paper. Oh, I know. Okay.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, man.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: So, what we're talking about?
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: About sets? No, about the worst gigs. You did a.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Bombing.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: He said bombing.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Bombing.
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: The worst bombing.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: So, take us, bro, to that bombing.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Just in the middle of the day.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: How did you know, man, like... That I was in
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: a bomb? Oh, man. When did you... I know I
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: started bombing. Now, man, like, You've been doing it for 30-something,
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: 33 years. You bomb, man, internally, and those carry you
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: on to the next show.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: No matter how many years go by, you'll still remember
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: that one bombing set, bro. It's like PTSD for me.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: It is trauma, yeah.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: It's trauma. You're like, fuck, never again.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Like, you were up there, bro, doing horrible in front
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: of 300 people. No laughs. I bombed hard, bro. How
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: did you feel after you bombed, bro? Was Willie there
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: to tell you, bro?
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: No.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: This is not your night, kid.
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: But it was terrible. And that's it. That was the
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: end of the show.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Only me. Did Victor get you in a headlock?
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Victor.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: What happened, bro? How did you feel, bro? Terrible. Are
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: you one of those comedians that bombs and still wants
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: to hook up and dance with everybody like nothing happened?
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: No, there was nobody there.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: Bro, there's comics like that where they bomb so bad
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: and they still fucking in there.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: Who does that? Who does that?
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: They're dancing, bro.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Who does that? Name one.
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: I've seen, I can't name one. There's so many.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: They all have jobs.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: See, that's the thing.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: They have confidence because they have something to back.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: They have wives at home, bro. Like, they're thinking how
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to live in a dream.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I feel like sometimes those women, they've
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: been married for so long that the wives don't even
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: give a fuck where they're at, you know?
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Ya largate, cabrón.
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: I've seen those fucking.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Comedians, bro. If you bomb, I don't leave. I just
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: be like, what's up?
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: I stay there and try to get laid, bro.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: That's me, bro. I've been to shows where the comedians
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: are out there dancing and shit, bro.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Hey, you gotta have a good time.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: You just bomb, bro. But I'm more like, you just bomb, bro.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: And then one time, this guy bombed, and he was
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: listening to a tape recorder in the car, and George
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: just said, cocksucker, we were there. Stop it already. Turn
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: that shit off.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: Stop taking us back.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: Start torturing us again. How was it, brother? How did
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: you know? Did you know that this is not going straight?
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: When I got there, it was a daytime show in
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: the park. At 12 o'clock in the middle of the.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: I've done those fucking lowrider shows, bro, and they're not good, bro.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: I remember one time I did a show like that
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: in Long Beach, and I remember my ex-girlfriend, I did
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: so bad that she didn't want to be next to
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: me because she was embarrassed of me. Dude, it was
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: that bad, bro.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: That's funny.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: That was one of the reasons why we broke up,
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: I think, because I just bombed so bad in front
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: of these fucking cholos like that.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: You were about a day with you, and then you bombed?
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: First time ever. She's never seen you on stage.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: You never seen you? You told her like a target
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: or something? She was working for Verizon. You told her,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I'm a comedian. Then she goes to see you, and
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: you bomb hard.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: And then you got to talk about it? No. When
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: I used to bomb, I used to be solo dolo, man.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: That's the best way to do it. I used to
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: bring all my friends over, dude. They'd be watching you bomb, bro.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: It would be the.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Quietest car ride. Bring your shows at Flappers.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Remember? Yeah. Hey, man.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: Fucking 2 o'clock in the morning doing comedy shows?
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: It's cool that you're doing this, man.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: Nobody.
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: That's so weird.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: Bro, that dude Mario, he bombed with a fucking... His
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: wrestling mask on, bro.
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: So nobody knew it was him.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: Mario who? From Atlanta?
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: He wore that shit to work.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: He said he just wore that shit to work, bro,
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: and never took it off. He's the man with the
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: iron mask now.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I had a lot of bombs, you know,
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: in my.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: What's the worst one?
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: The worst one, bro?
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: His last name is an unknown comic.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: El Mil Mascaras, bro. I remember when I bombed. I mean,
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: I won at the car show. And I remember one
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: time I bombed so bad at the improv, dude. I
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: bombed so bad that I didn't want to hang out.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: I told Juan Garcia, I'm like, bro, I'm only free
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: in the car, bro. And I couldn't do it. I
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: had to go to the car and just like, just
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: had to just go. I just had to like, I
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: was having an internal crisis, you know?
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: So, yeah.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: That's a lot. The last bomb was when?
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Last bomb, man.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: Long time, huh?
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: It's been a while.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: You kind of figured it out.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, you kind of figure it out, but it's
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: just like, I mean, they'll stick with you for the longest,
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: You were bombed in Hawaii?
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Hell, yeah. I started in Hawaii.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Was it like bombing over there, but they threw coconuts
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: at you? It was Pro Harbor, bro.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: You got to fight the locals after. That's how you
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: learn to fight out there. You had great experiences. You
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: never got into any altercations in Hawaii? You look like
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: you could be a local.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: A local, bro.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: It's Samoan.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: He does look like he could be. He looks Samoan. Yeah.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: You know a comedian named James Money? He's Samoan.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: Shout out to James. You know what's funny, man? All
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: my life, since I met that dude, I just called
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: him John Main. Whatever his name was. What's his name?
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: James Money.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, you met him before?
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But I always called him James Main. I thought
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: his name was James Main. Yeah. I know him. I know, um.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: The gay guy? Johnny Rock? Johnny Hollywood was his name?
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Who? Oh, uh.
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: That guy's funny, dude. He wears, like, suits all the time, bro.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: He's real, like, uh.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: That Mr. Furley, bro.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah!
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Johnny.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: That guy's funny, bro. And then, uh, there's, uh, Jose,
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: the other guy.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Jose Dynamite.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Jose Dynamite, the guy.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Filipino Jose.
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought it was Mexican, but he's, uh, Filipino.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: He was there. You like my costume, bro?
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: I couldn't guess it.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: You're a ninja.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Cool Runnings, bro.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit!
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Hey! Hell yeah, dude. That's a comfort movie. Cool Runnings.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Right? John Candy.
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: John Candy. The homie to fucking, he does comedy. He's
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: in the movie. What's his name? Raw. I used to
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: do shows with him at the Flappers a lot, dude.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Raw. What's his name?
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: He's the one that actually booked me on the, when
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: I auditioned for the McDonald's commercial, he was the casting
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: director and he actually booked me for, what's it called?
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: The movie.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Cool. For the commercial. I'll find his name right now.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: He's in the movie. He's the youngest guy in the movie.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: Raw D. That's his name. Raw D.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Lewis.
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: He's fucking new. He's cool, man. He was in the movie.
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: And he actually... He was the casting director when I
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: did the McDonald's commercial. Hell yeah, dude.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: The little Super Mario?
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: From Atlanta? You look like a... The Royal Tenenbaums. Dude,
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: I look fucking crazy. What the fuck, dude?
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: You know, bro, like, your hairspray is, like, invisible.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: Or you mean, like, the dry shampoo?
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: Your hair looks like a Barbie doll after it's thrown
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: in the trash, and then someone takes it out the
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: river and blow-dries it. Oh, my God. I got to
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: get hair.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: I look fucking crazy.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: You got to put some gel or something. You know
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: what you got to do, bro? You got to do this, man.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: You got to get in the shower, man. And right
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: before you get out the shower, you put a lot
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: of gel in it. Yeah, put a lot of gel
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: in it. And then squeeze it all out, bro. squeeze
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: it all out into the shower with your hand and
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: don't just let it dry by itself man let it
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: dry by itself don't put nothing on it that's what
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: Lisa told me don't put nothing on it and then
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: it comes out if you have curly hair it'll naturally.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: Come out mine is wavy.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: It'll come out bro you'll look like The hottest... Lesbian?
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Woman out there, bro.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: Well, I feel you have more experience. You ever had
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: long hair for like, what, like 20 years already?
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, right?
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: Do you ever braid it?
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: I did, bro, but not anymore, man. I look like
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Queen Latifah.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: Set it off, bro.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: So, um... After you worked with William Barsena in Bakersfield...
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Did he like you and said, hey, bro, you want
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: to do more shows? Yeah. What other shows? So, you
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: went over to his house, you met his family. Yep.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Fabian. Fabian's doing comedy now.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: He's doing comedy now. Yeah, Fabian, yeah, he's cool, dude.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: Somebody said if you and Fabian are the same guy. No,
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: he's not.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: This is Martin.
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: People used to tell me, yeah, people would be like, yeah,
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: that's funny. It's like, yeah. That's cool, dude. Willie Barsena,
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: he's been in a lot of comics lives, you know, like.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all these OGs, bro.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Jeff.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: Jeff. Rest in peace, Jeff.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: Alfred.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Rudy Moreno. Felipe.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: Alfred.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Rudy Moreno.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Jerry Garcia, bro. He was the first comic to take
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: me to a club.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: Fucking Willie Barsano, bro.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: That guy.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude. Driving him to Vacaville, bro. Driving him to,
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: what's it called? Lake Elsinore. We did the casino out there.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: That was crazy. That was fun, dude.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Lake Elsinore?
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a casino out there. We did a show
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: out there. I remember just driving him out there. And
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: I remember I didn't even do a spot. I just
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: drove him out there. And I drove him back to
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: his house in Silver Lake. And he's like, how much
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: did I tell you I was going to pay you?
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, you told me you were going to
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: pay me $ 400.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: Fuck.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: And then he just grabs the cash and he's like,
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: don't ever say I never paid you, bro. And then,
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: fuck yeah, dude, for just driving him. I was still
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: living at home, you know, $ 400.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: You ever did a show, bro, where somebody said, man,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to wait for you outside, motherfucker. All the time.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah. What happened, bro?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: Tell us.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: They didn't wait.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: How did it start, though? How did it start? They heckled.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: Then you talk shit to them. And then if they
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: got somebody with them, you talk shit to them, too.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some advice, bro, from a
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: veteran podcaster. When you're doing another podcast, you have to
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: elaborate on a story.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, shit, yeah.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: Elaborate. All right, baby. You give me slow little answers.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: And people would say right here, oh, this guy's dabbed out.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: But you have to explain it, bro, because we got
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: to cut reels and find the funny parts and put
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: it up. Like, I'm going to ask me, bro, the
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: same question I asked him.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: Has anybody ever told you they're going to be waiting
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: for you outside?
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: Bro, let me tell you what happened, bro. It was
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: in Montebello, like 1998. And this fucking fat bitch, they
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: had just turned off the fucking Laker game, bro. And
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: they were in the fucking playoffs. And she didn't know
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: that there would be a surprise comedy show during her event, right?
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: So they turned off the fucking comedy show, and the
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: hoes went up, bombed. Then they brought up this guy
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: with a puppet, and he murdered, bro. Then when I
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: went up there, she told me, you fucking suck, the
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: other guy beat you. And I told her, bitch, what
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: did he win, you, bitch? I'm glad I lost. If
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: I knew you were the prize, I would have never
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: shown up. Bitch, you like the Lakers? You never been there,
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: you whore? Fuck, give me the fucking address to fuck
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: the forum, bitch. See, bro, you gotta elaborate, bro. You
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: gotta be a good storyteller. Because now people on podcasts,
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: they like when you expand and you tell a story, man.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: Even if you have to make up a character. My
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: boy Beto was there. He was buying a new hat. Beto.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you a story.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Ready?
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: My first time headlining the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: Fucking Randy Lubas, bro.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Randy Lubas.
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: That guy. What happened?
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: What happened? What's the other guy?
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: Let me add this.
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: What's the other guy? Fernando?
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: The other guy? The Cuban dude. It's Armando.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Fuck.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: Shout out to him, dude.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: Fernie? You're from Antigua?
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Hell no.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: So you did the show out there?
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: Somebody said Beto from Antigua. Nah, Beto.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: Beto.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: What the fuck was I saying? Oh, headlining. Hopefully that
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: dude is doing good. I'm headlining. My boy Patrick's on stage.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Patrick who? Patrick Riley. He tours with Jesus Apura.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: He's buff, bro.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: He's a fucking dirty guy. He's skinny, but then he
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: takes off his shirt. He's like, all right, this is
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: what works out.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: I wish I was like that.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: It's a Wolverine body. And he's bombing on stage, my boy.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: And it's my first time headlining... A club in California,
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: kind of. So I got a lot of people there.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: That's my people. And, like, unbeknownst to us, there's a
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: couple on a date. All right? Older lady, younger dude.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: And then in comes another couple that we didn't know
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: at the time was a daddy and a daughter. All right?
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: And they're looking for the mom that's on a date.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: And I'm tripping. Yeah, yeah, the mom's cheating. So I'm
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: tripping in the back of the stage. Like, fuck, Patrick
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: is bombing the show. It sucks right now, you know?
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, fuck, what am I doing? And I
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: see these people come in. And then I heard, pinche perra.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: And then this dude starts, like, to try to hit
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: this guy. And there's no security at the time. I
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: don't know why.
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: They got to save money, bro.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: It was all convenience and security. And he missed. So, like,
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: everybody's kind of like, oh, shit, what the fuck's going on?
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: And then they get in between the two dudes. And
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: he turns around to the lady and he's like, pinche perra.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: And then he, like, tries to choke her. And I
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: couldn't have that shit. So I swung on a dude.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: You saved the cheating girlfriend?
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the mom. I didn't want to see a mom
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: get choked in front of me. But I kind of
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: hit him. And I don't know what's that shit called
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: when you do a crime.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: Battery?
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: By the ocean?
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Statues of limitations.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I hope he didn't do that. But a lot of
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: my people ended up jumping him. And it was that situation.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: We fixed it again.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: Did the show keep going after?
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we did. It was a lot of commotion.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: You think that guy thought that you were another lover?
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: Nah, he knew. I was just more mad that he
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: fucked up my show, you know?
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: Tell your knight, hey, when shit like that happens, man.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: Kicked him out, and then the show came up. Patrick
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: would start being funny.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, he started?
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: The show picked up after that. My second chance, bro.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: We sold t-shirts.
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: I remember, bro.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: Mambo, you know who that is?
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Mambo, yeah, bro. Ventura.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he was there.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: All those fools were there. And they got it on video, so...
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: If Mambo's watching this, post it, bro.
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: Fuck it.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, dude, to the dude that I punched. I'm sorry.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: I just didn't want you to choke your ex-wife in
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: front of me.
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: Hey, but what does she deserve?
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: Keep that shit at home. I know, but don't do
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: it in front of dudes that don't like women getting cracked.
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: So the husband was there to look for her?
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I guess, I don't know. I didn't get
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: to talk to these people because they got kicked out.
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: But it looked like mom was dating somebody. Dad and
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: daughter was looking for her.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: But at least he bought two tickets, you know?
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: No, they didn't. The mom and the boyfriend did.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: Okay, so they fucked that guy there.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it ruined their experience. But that was a
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: good story. It was that detailed?
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: You're a good storyteller now.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: Did Willie tell you the story when he was on Edibles?
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: Well, we never knew Willie did Edibles.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got a bit on it. I'm the Jose
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: on that story.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: He has never, I don't think we don't know him
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: He was against weed for the longest, you know?
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I smoke a lot of weed, too.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: He helped ride Weed for Madness. He used to be
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: one of those dudes that if you smoke weed, you're
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: going to go to hell.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: You're a loser, bro.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: You're a loser, bro. You know that, bro? Did you
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: know you were a loser?
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: Mil Máscaras right there, bro.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: You look like a.
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: You look like a Vegas wrestler, bro. You look like.
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: Este Salvador, Kansas City.
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: Te mato, wey.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: When I was a kid, I always liked this wrestler, bro,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: but he didn't have much of a, like... Personality. That
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: many movies.
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: What was his name again?
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: The Nieblas.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: Blue Demon had more movies, right?
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: I got it right here.
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: It's funny because I always say how these wrestlers, they're
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: so popular when they came out of movies. And they
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: use their masks in movies, but they never referenced... Oh, man.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: What the fuck, dude?
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: We're doing this? This is what we're doing. Is my
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: mustache showing?
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: Hey, man. You said gas prices were going to be $ 2, bro. Oh, damn.
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: Damn.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Man, you said you were going to get us out
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: of the war. What's going on?
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: It's all about it.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: Man, you said you were going to get us out
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: of her moods. Man, you took my mom, bro.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: I took her, too. better place.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: Better tacos out there. Better food. Grab her right in
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: the pussy. I'm Donald Trump. This thing smells so fucking cheap. Dude,
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: this shit looks like it's ready to fucking suck a pito, bro.
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: What the fuck, dude? Donald Trump right here.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: They made that mask, bro, with the tarp from the
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: reflecting pool.
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: Make America.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: Dude, look at this fucking shit. Fucking big old fucking boca, bro.
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: Give him a resident mask.
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: Oh, fuck.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: All right, eh. We got political stuff out of there.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: We got a bunch of people asking right here.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: What's up, fool? Happy birthday to Jose Raymond right here, man.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you, man.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah, dude.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: Take him, bro, for real. Take him to a marisco place.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: You trying to go to a marisco place?
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: Does anybody know a good-ass marisco place in the San
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Fernando Valley or by Van Nuys? Where you staying at?
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: He's going to Long Beach.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Long Beach, right? Yep. Or Downey or Long Beach. Long Beach,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: I know a spot, bro. Or anywhere.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: I'll drive you. We got it. My boy Beto driving.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: My hair looks a little fucked up, bro.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: I recommend that.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: It looks like fucking Michael Landon here in Los Angeles Prairie.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: Trap house in the prairie, bro. Oh, fuck, dude. Fuck,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: I hate my fucking hair.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: Let me see your hair.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: I like how you guys always check in what you
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: look like. This is what we look like, my boy.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: Your hair, I will book you, bro. You're ready to
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: be anything. You got hair. Surfer. I'm a cholo with
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: a surfer brother.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: I don't think I have a long neck to have
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: this long hair. I feel like you got to have
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: a long neck to have long hair because it just
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: blends in.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: It's like just like cochino. You know cochino?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Maybe you should get your face bigger and not start anymore.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no cochino.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: No cochino? He has no neck, bro.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: Is he doing Starting Gate?
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and Los Alamitos, bro.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: When is that? Tuesday?
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: Tuesday night. It's a whole bunch of sucias.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Where, bro?
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: Los Alamitos.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: Starting Gate.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: Starting Gate.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: He has no neck, bro. You can't get hickeys, you know?
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: When you give him hickeys, you give him on the cheek,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: Jose Raymond, I swear to God, bro.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: Tell me, bro.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: I thought that you were like Joey Coco Diaz homie.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: That was another Jose.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: Because when Willie Barsena was working with, remember when Willie
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: Barsena was helping Joe Diaz with a special? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: You were hanging around with him, right? Yeah, yeah. Did
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: he ever hand over, you were like, oh, he's sad,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: he goes, take it up, bro.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: No, no. No, he didn't.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: What was one of the best advice that You got
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: it from Willie Barsetta besides, for me, he had told me, like,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: I learned from him, like, and to this day I
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: still do it. But it's not because I have a
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: bad memory or because I really just like doing it now.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: I go over my set all the time.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: You listen to it all the time.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'll listen for two hours on my set. But
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: I don't write nothing down no more unless it's something
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: I do need to remember, I write it down. But
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: if it's something that I can remember like this, I
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: don't write it down. But then I regret not writing
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: it down because then when I say it on stage,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: it comes out different and it sucks. What's your writing
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: routine like when you get ready for a show or
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: when you're sitting at home trying to come up with,
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: like you say you're coming up with bits. Do you
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: really like do what Willie Barsena says? Do you go
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: over your set? And write it down. Because I see
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: Willie Barsena, he writes it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: then he rewrites it and he throws it in a
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: trash can. I never throw shit away, bro. Yeah. What
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: do you do?
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of like that, man. He taught me a
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: lot of shit. And you learn from a lot of
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: different comics, right? But one of it was treat this
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: like a regular job, like nine to five. You should
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: be writing four to eight hours a day if you can.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: I'm going to turn that food man fire, bro.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: That's a lot of writing, bro.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: From a regular job, dog.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: Writing, just writing. Sit there, write flashcards. Remember the flashcards?
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, flashcards? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. When you were
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: learning math, right?
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: Premise, and then used to go sit down in Denny's
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: and write all the time.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: Put them closer, dog.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: The Denny's on Fletcher in San Fernando? A bunch of them.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: Denny's in- I want half coffee and half milk.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: Writing, sitting there. Oh, yeah.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: Rick's Burgers?
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: You know him? No? All right, Beto, you're safe.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he do. He went to a couple shows. But
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: just write, bro, write. Write about yourself.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: You ever been to a Stephen's Steakhouse to do a
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: show there?
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah, with Rudy.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: What was that like? What was the theme there? Bro,
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: I went there, went for an Irish show. They had
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: Polynesian dancers.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: For the Irish show?
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: What the hell, dude? I don't know the story behind that,
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: but that's another subject for another podcast.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: I met the owner's son there. They're old school Italians
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: that own Steven's Steakhouse. The old school, I'm pretty sure
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: they have some kind of connections to the mob, bro.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm hearing something crazy. I don't know how
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: true this is, but they're saying that Robert De Niro
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: is going to be playing Tommy Lasorda in a movie.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: He's going to play Tommy Lasorda. Oh, yeah? I hope
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: he plays Tommy Lasorda as the Tommy Lasorda that we
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: know are old, you know, like Tommy Lasagna. I hope
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: he's not playing Tommy Lasorda when he was a pitcher, bro,
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: and we're going to see an old man pitching, bro.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: Like in the movie where they made him look young,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: The Departed?
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God, bro. When he's beating up the old man.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: How does he go in like this? Robert De Niro
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: and the fucking Irishman, when he's beating up that guy
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: outside in the street, It looked like two people fighting
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: in an old retirement home, bro.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: When he's kicking the guy, it looks so bad, bro.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: It looked like they're fighting over a fucking pudding.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: They couldn't get a fucking... They couldn't get a stunt actor?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: They couldn't get another actor. How about that, eh?
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, you don't have... It didn't have.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: To be fucking... There's other actors. This kid does not
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: have to play every Italian mobster. But you know he
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: plays two different mobsters also in another movie? Oh, yeah?
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: On HBO. Yeah. Anyway, that's for Juven Binge. So anyways, yeah,
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: so what do you guys think, man?
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd watch it. That looks good.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: You think he has what it takes, bro, to play
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: Tommy Lasorda, a man that still has not had a
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: statue at Hollenbeck Park? Damn. Exactly, bro. You took the
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: word out of my mouth.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: Shots fired, bro.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: He should have at least little statues, bro, at Olive
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: Garden or something.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: The tour of Italy, bro.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: I remember Tommy Lasorda, man. That fool was promoting the slim,
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: the Weight Watchers or Slim Fast. That fool lost like 98, 70,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: 80 pounds, bro. And that year the Dodgers lost 99 games.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 3: They blame it on fucking the... On the diet.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: He was skinny, fool. Put up skinny Tommy Lasorda.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: What year was that?
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: The 90s?
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: Riots. During the riots. 1992. 1992.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: Holy shit.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: He's still fat, bro.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: Ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: Tommy Lasorda's going to play... Tommy Lasorda's going to play him?
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: That fool's been old forever, bro.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: What the fuck, dude? I don't know about this, man.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get deeper on it. I'm not even
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: a bitch, but nah, forget it. Forget it.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: Some people have just been old forever. Like Hulk Hogan.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: I've never seen a young Hulk Hogan, you know?
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: In the highlights.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: Morgan Freeman?
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: I'm glad we got to see a racist Hulk Hogan.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: Before he died.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: We were missing out. Listen, brother. Slim fast, bro. That
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: was one of my first hacky jokes. I got on
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: a slim crack diet. I lost 80 pounds and a
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: beautiful family in two weeks.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: You know what's funny? They don't have the cans anymore, right?
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: It's all like bottles. Yeah, plastic bottles.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: Robert Shimo has the best joke about slim fast diet. Yeah,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: slim fast diet. You eat a slim fast shake in
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: the morning and a sensible dinner. Let me tell you, man.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: If I could eat sensible diet, I wouldn't need this
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: fucking slim fast food. If I could eat sensible, I
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: wouldn't need a fucking diet. That's tomato soda?
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: Throwing a fastball, bro. Was this guy still cracking at
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: an old age? Was he still smashing?
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: Hell no. I was about to get fucked up, bro,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: at the fucking diner at Dineco Park. Tykes.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: Where's that at?
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: Tykes. T-I-A-X.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: What are the cross streets?
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: The cross streets are.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: But I feel like when you watch, when I was
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: watching like, what's it called? The Lakers show, what's it
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: called again? Remember the Lakers show on HBO, what was
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: it called? Winning Time? And just seeing all the people
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: smoking back then and drinking. And these guys were just like,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: they were just smoking all the time and drinking all day, right?
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: And that's why they died so young.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: They lived forever, bro.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, they're just like rugged as fuck, you know?
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: They lived forever. Yeah, like... They looked like this fool. Rugged.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 3: Like, that fool was.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: This fool, he just finished driving from fucking Vacaville to
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: fucking Odessa and came back. Fuck, dude.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: Look at that.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: That guy was still fucking mujeriego. Like, was still like
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: a ladies man till.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: Like the end he rich my boy yeah dude celebrity.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: And I like how the eyes they try to make
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 3: it look all like that kind of vintage look in the.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: Green room you have shows coming up bro.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah man all week here in LA mostly Long
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: Beach Laugh Factory tonight.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: Go follow this guy, man. What's your Venmo, bro? Happy birthday, money.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you, man.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: What's your Venmo? Give it to them. Venmo.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: Come on, guys. Send me some Venmo money.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: Send me some Marisco money.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: Marisco money, bro. They want some fucking.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: It's Jose Raymond, comedian, 23. Nalgota money, bro.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: So you love doing stand-up, man? I'm glad you're the
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: first comedian to actually promote it. They're going to be
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: on our show. Thank you. Everybody thinks that.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: That's how you know we're in a struggle. You know
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying?
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: Anything.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: We do anything, man. You need a driver? What are
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: we doing?
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 3: How'd you move from Watts to Hawaii?
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: To Hawaii?
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: To Maui.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, Maui. Wow.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: How did that happen, bro?
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: So I was telling you, it's your wife?
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Your wife.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: You know how Mexicans come to the United States with
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: a bunch of different people sometimes? Or is everybody not
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: just Mexicans, right? Some of my stepdad's friends moved to Vegas.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: And Vegas is known as the Ninth Island.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: There's a whole bunch of what?
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: Ninth Island of Hawaii.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 3: That's what they have the Zippy's out there.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: They open up the Zippy's. Yeah, yeah. They got Zippy's everywhere.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: Zippy's is a Filipino restaurant?
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: It's the Hawaiian Denny's. They have the best cornbread, bro.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: That fucking cornbread, dude.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: Fuck, dude.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: It's the best.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: Breakfast place for locals in Hawaii because I want to go.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: It depends what island.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: You go to Maui?
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: Honolulu, man. Honolulu, man.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: Zippy's right there.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: You like that cafe one, huh?
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: I like, when I go to Honolulu, I like going
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: to Cinnamon's.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, Cinnamon's is dope.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: It was at the Ilikaya Hotel, but now it's somewhere else. Bro,
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 3: the Glava?
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: I went to my sister and my cousin there.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 3: They close at the Ilikaya. There's another location open.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: I was just about to say Cinnamon's.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 3: But if you like street food, what's it called? Rainbow Cafe?
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: Rainbow Cafe. Dude, that place.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: Rainbow knows all the spots.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: I do. Rainbow Cafe, bro.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: Beto, I'll text you my Venmo, bro, if you could
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: show it to them.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, man, right here.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: Rainbow Cafe is basically... Felipe, Rainbow Cafe is the.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: What's my government name?
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: What's that spot in Montebello right there where they have
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: the burritos, the machaca burritos right there across the street from.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: Choco burritos, that sound dope.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: From the Pussy Soys, go eat at?
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: J's.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: J & S. It's like basically.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God, dude.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: Dude, Rainbow Cafe is the Hawaiian version of J &
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: S in Montebello, bro. They have like street, what's it called,
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: like loco moco and all that shit, bro. It's fucking bomb, dude.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: And there's another place, too, and I go, Helena's, where
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 3: they have like the butterfish.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: Okay. Oh, my God.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: I'm hungry, bro.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: Eggs and things in Waikiki is pretty good.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 3: And I always say this. Here in California, dude, fuck
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: Ono Hawaiian barbecue. L & L is way better, dude.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: Where's L & L?
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: L & L is like the gritty. It's like gritty, right?
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: It's like more like dirty.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: Have you been to.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: The Hawaiian restaurant that's named after that Hawaiian bread?
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Hawaiian Kings.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: Is it good?
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: In Torrance?
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: I haven't been there, but.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: Dude, it's here in Torrance?
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: That Hawaiian bread is not even made in Hawaii. It's
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: made here.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: What?
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: What we were talking about earlier, brother, you put up
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: a reel every while we're now.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: Some days, some days I feel it. You didn't give.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: It a chance to hate the first one, bro.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: Some days I feel like I'm on a good one
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: and I can just keep posting and some days I
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 3: just have.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: Do you have them already prepared and made or you
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: got to make them at the spot and then promote
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: and put them up?
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: I do... So I shoot some videos where it's kind
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 3: of stock footage where it's kind of like I can
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 3: just keep changing the meme on top of it. Like
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: I made a video because you know that song that's
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: going by... I mean, it's the old song from... was
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 3: it ben bailey and fucking uh uh what's it called
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: the old song uh easy lover well easy lover so
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: it's going popular right now on tiktok and instagram so
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: i made a video oh there's a venmo right there.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: She's an easy lover.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: She's a easy torta so i made a video where
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: kind of like i can just like keep posting memes
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 3: where like uh it's on my instagram i posted like
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: two days ago I'm laying on the floor and when
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: you're past that.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: He's a torta lover. He picks them up at 2 a.m.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: Wait, let me get that. That's the next video.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: He's a torta lover. He picks them up at 2 a.m.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: When I'm driving in my Corvette, I see the girl
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: over there. Mmm, she's a gordita. She might not fit
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: in my car.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: He's a torta lover.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: He's a torta lover. Okay, bro.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: He's a torta lover. You karaoke right now?
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: And the music, bro. He's a torta lover.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: He's a torta lover. That's a good song, bro. That
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: song's going viral right now because of, I don't know why,
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: but just a whole bunch of young people are discovering
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: that song.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: He's a torta lover.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: We should do a, when we go to, oh yeah,
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: when we go to Kansas, let's do something.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: She twisted her ankle and Ventura.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 3: He's a torta lover.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: You ever had a show, man, where you're performing and
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: A fucking fire breaks out during your show or somebody
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: twists their ankle or fucking the lights go out. Fucking
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: fire alarm goes on. No mic. No mic, bro.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: No mic.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: Dude. Fucking Phyllis took it. The no mic is the
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: worst one, man. It's always a college gig. They're not ready.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: And what'd you do?
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, man. They gave me a little lapel of fucking
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: email stuff for everybody.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 3: So the show still went on?
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: I had no mic, first of all.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 3: Acapella, homie.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: Because I kicked out all the newscasters from following me.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: So I realized I had no microphone. Nobody could hear me.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: A fucking construction site in a ballroom, bro. Nobody could
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: hear anything. It's chaos.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 3: Was it like a corporate gig that you did?
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: It was horrible, bro. I've done shows, bro. Thank God that,
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm more successful now. I've done shows, bro,
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: where the microphone stand is right behind the Coke machine. Oh,
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: you're getting a soda, dog? All righty.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: I've done convalescent homes.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear the soda can crash.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: Jamario McLean?
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Jamario.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: He took me to convalescent home shows.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 3: I've done that one in fucking... No microphone.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: And these are not regular people. They're sick people.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: Like, They're going to die.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: Mental illness and shit, yeah. No microphone. You're just performing
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: for the nurses.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I know, like, people want to open for me
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: on the road who I never heard of, you know,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: but they have like a reel, they have a tape.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: They're on Instagram, right? And in my head, without watching
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: their stand-up comedy, I got a picture in my head.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: Had this person performed In a chaotic room first. You know, okay,
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: all right, you're funny. I saw the five minutes. You're funny,
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: but it's an improv. But have you ever performed in
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: a place where nobody gives a fuck who the fuck
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: you are? And you need to get the fuck off
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: the stage because we're not here to see your ass.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: And as soon as the first show doesn't work, it's
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: going to be the loudest silence in the fucking whole
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: wide world. I got to know if this guy can
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: bounce back from all this.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, sure, because, like, if you haven't been in
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 3: those situations, like, you got to know, because, I mean,
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 3: you know how it is, like, doing bars and stuff
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 3: like that. Like, you, like, learn how to handle sunset room.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: Russell Peters, bro, I was about to do 15 minutes. 14,000
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: people sold out at a hockey arena at Russell Peters, London.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: I was about to do 15 minutes, bro, and it
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: went by so fast that I only got eight minutes
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: of jokes out. They were laughing and applause breaks and
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: it was all loud. And it was two big screens, bro.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: Damn, that's amazing.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: Before I got off. And I thought I had to
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: do an hour. And I was like, fuck. I was
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: in my head. I was thinking, man, how can you
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: do a whole hour on a crowd like this and
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: keep the fucking momentum going? Because I kept it going
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: for 15. This guy, Russell Peters, he has to keep
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: that momentum going for a whole hour, bro.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: That right there gives me anxiety, bro.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: Thinking about it Hell yeah It be like that for
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: me Sometimes when Tommy Davidson shows It's on sometimes When
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: it's just me and him.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: Oh he a Mexican Yeah Black rooms What was the
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: worst thing A black person has said During your set
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: When you bombed me.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 2: Bro Nah nah nah I haven't bombed In front of
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 2: a black person Yeah.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 3: I have bro Keep going Somebody told me that You got.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: This You got this That's the worst bro Hey you
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: got this You got this. That was funny. Bitch laugh.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: He need help.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 3: That's what they said to you?
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: He need milk. He need help. he said.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: He need help.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: Where was this at?
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: No, man. I was another comedian, bro. He bombed in
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: the Black Ladies Day. He need help.
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: He need some milk. I remember doing the family room
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 3: in Watts, bro. And that place was.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: Hard, dude.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: Where was that at? Why would you go to Watts
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: to do open mic? I mean, they need comedy too, bro.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: Where was the primary room?
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 3: Teddy Ray used to host it.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Watts, man.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Teddy Ray.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he did.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 3: So that was a cool room and all these comics
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: would go out there because we would do, this is
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 3: a fun room.
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: My boy, he does shows there too.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 3: Bro, it was one of the hardest rooms, but they
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 3: used to serve the fried chicken with the Louisiana hot.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: So it's not an open mic. It was an open mic?
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 3: It was an open mic. But then after that, it
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 3: was a show up.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. I thought you just went there like you
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: saw it on... What is this shit called online where
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: you go see all the nights?
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 3: Comedy Bureau.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: Comedy Bureau.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: And it shows wads out of everywhere in LA. Yeah,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: but go to Kick It with Teddy. That was dope.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 3: Teddy Rest in Peace is a super funny.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: Guy, man. Who? Teddy Ray.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: He drowned.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: Why you cheeked up on Thursday afternoon. That's his famous.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: You know who passed away, bro? Don Marino, comedian.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 3: Mike Marino.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 3: No, he did pass away. They're telling you.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: They're still alive. My bad.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: No, but yeah, Mike Marino, he was funny. I met
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 3: him a couple of times at John Lowe's Comedy Club.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: He was in that movie, man.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a long time ago.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: Pet Detective.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 3: He's old school, man. He was sick, right? Poor guy, dude.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: He was in that movie with Jim Carrey. Damn.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, he was in Ace Ventura?
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Really? Oh, shit, dude. Remember the quarterback, Dan Marino?
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 3: Damn.
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 2: That's so sad.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 3: Wait, so how'd you end up from Watts to?
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: So my mom remarried when my dad died, my real dad.
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 2: He was a crackhead. And we were living in Watts.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: But my stepdad's friend that moved to Vegas.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: There's that Marino, bro. Oh, shit.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that guy. He dead?
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: No, he's alive.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: He's alive.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: Mike Marino passed away.
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 3: Mike Marino, not this guy.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: They finally got the bat. Wait, who is it? He
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: finally got his violence card.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 3: Mike Marino. There you go. That's going to pass away.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: Italian.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 2: That's going to be us one day. What happened? That's
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: going to be us one day.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: Nah, bro. I'm going to fight right here.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be bald one day, bro.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be bald, dog.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: Nah, man. I meant somebody's going to be talking about
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: us in the podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: We hope they do, bro. We hope.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: I'd rather die before I go bald, bro.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know if they're going to talk about all
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: of us, but they're going to talk about one of us. Fuck, dude.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 3: Like, Marizzo's Nissan Versa stalled on the freeway.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: They're going to be talking about Marizzo, bro, when he's gone.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: They're going to say, man, remember that picture, bro, of
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: his quinceanera?
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 3: Damn, bro.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: Fuck it.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: That picture's going to haunt me to it. You know,
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 3: I actually have different versions of that.
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: Would you let that guy go out with your daughter, bro?
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 2: I have different pictures. He look like you do jujitsu.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: Would you let this guy go out with your 30-year-old daughter? 30-year-old?
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: What was this one? I saw this post.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: Teeth not included, man.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 3: Teeth come separately. Let me see if I can find
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 3: different versions of this picture because I don't have more.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: That one used to model for birthday cakes and wedding cakes, right?
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 3: Get out of here.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: What was that convention in Las Vegas like? Well, it
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: was fun, bro.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: I was there for fucking.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: It was a good weekend to be in Vegas, huh?
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: It was, dude.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 3: I got there Sunday night, bro.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: Awesome.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 3: When you guys.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: Raider fans everywhere, huh?
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 3: Dude, there's... Okay, so there's Raider fans everywhere and there's
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 3: also fucking people that are there to watch us sort
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 3: of stereo, the Chilean band or the.
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 3: Dude, it was a crazy weekend, man. I was there.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 3: I had a great time, bro. I was staying at
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 3: the Bodaro. Basically, where we stay at, like by the
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 3: Treasure Island, you know?
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 3: It was fun, man. Like, I don't gamble, bro, but
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 3: I just like walking and looking at the lights, man.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 3: And I was there to do some, like, influencer stuff.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 3: Shout out to Avancen.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: This guy, he's a torta pounder. He pound them left
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: and left and right. They have to be over 200.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: A big girl with skinny legs.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 4: So I was out there so these influencers right and
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 4: this one girl who like she was checking into we're
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 4: checking into the hotel and then she was like oh
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 4: yeah I'm an influencer for the.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Event and then they're like oh wow okay you know
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 3: what we got this hotel it's usually extra but we're
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 3: gonna give you the suite on the house to you?
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 3: to her and then cause like I guess cause they
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 3: wanna they wanna you know they're like oh you know
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 3: cause influencer and so I got my badge and I
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: was like oh fuck it you know so I pulled
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 3: out my badge and I'm like I'm here with the
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 3: thing I get to. They hooked it up, bro. And
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 3: the homegirl, she knows what to do. She's like, you know,
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: a hungry mouth. What did she say? A hungry mouth
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 3: don't get fed or what shit? Closed mouth don't get fed.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 2: Closed mouth don't get fed.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, fuck. I just can't walk around
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 3: with a fucking badge on.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: So you got those too?
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: Closed mouth don't get fed. Remember that, people, man. Closed
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: mouth don't get fed. At least I sometimes get mad
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: because there's a crowd over there and I go over
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: there and She goes, what you go with it? I
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: don't care. They're giving away fucking pop-tarts or something.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 3: You have to, bro. If not, fucking, it's kind of.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 2: Speak up, my boy.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 3: We're just the simpletons, you know? But when I saw it,
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 3: when Homegirl told me that, and so it was like,
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 3: usually as comedians, we try to be very humble.
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: But you know what, bro?
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: Fuck that shit, bro. Give me a fucking nice hotel.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: I have bad luck when it comes to doing that
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: because I go there and grab everything. And then I
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: send someone like Gabby with no confidence or Lisa. And
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: they go over there and they tell them to get
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: the fuck out of here, bro. Yeah.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 3: But it's true.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: I told Gabby to go over there and she has
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: a face that they were going to tell her no.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 3: Damn. They can smell already.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bro. Lady, get out of here, lady.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 3: But it's kind of like when I saw you when
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 3: we were doing the show in.
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: Are you giving those away? No, they're $ 5. Oh, only $ 4? $ 5. Oh,
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: I thought you were giving them away. Here, just take it.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: Get out of here. Yeah.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. But it's funny because when I told that
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 3: story about when I went to this restaurant and then
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 3: what's it called? I don't want to tag him because
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 3: I don't like tagging restaurants because I don't think I
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: want stuff. But then one of your friends recognized me
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 3: that way. They went to high school with you. They're like, oh, yeah,
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 3: we saw you on the podcast. So then the owner
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 3: saw that, and then she, I guess they looked up
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 3: who I was. And after that, the lady came up
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 3: to me and said, oh, so how was your show
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 3: last night? Bitch, I don't even know you.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 2: Like, what the fuck, dude?
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 3: But sometimes you got to.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 1: She recognized you? She was happy? Yeah.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 3: That's cool.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so. Then you get hooked up on. The lounge
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: with Saul?
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, they saw us at your show. The lady saw
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 3: us at your show. And then, dude, me and Saul
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 3: got hooked up. We're just in the fucking lounge. I'm like, dude,
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 3: I was waiting for a fucking bill to come, you know? Like,
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 3: I'm not used to this shit, you know?
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: Were you at the Delta One or just the regular lounge?
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 3: I think it was the Delta Lounge.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That was cool, huh?
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 3: But I don't know. They can just sneak you in
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 3: like that, you know?
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: They can do whatever they want, bro.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but that event was fun, dude. I met a lot.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 3: I was hanging out with Xolo Maridueña. He has an aura,
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 3: you know? Like, he's fucking, he's cool. Dude, a whole
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 3: bunch of other, like, Latinos, man. And I always say this.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 3: It's funny because, like, we see this when we go to, like,
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 3: when you stay at hotels on the road. You know
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 3: when you stay at hotels on the road and you see, like,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 3: they have, like, little conventions? And, like, you see, like, fucking, like,
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 3: people that work together. It's, like, their first time away
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: from their family. You know, like, they're excited, you know? Even,
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 3: you know, like, oh, this was going to cheat. You
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 3: know what I mean?
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 1: Like... Oh, yeah, man. I feel.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: They're hanging around with the most cheesiest crowd, huh? And
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 1: they all have name tags, and they're all doing group events.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: Not this event, but the other events.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 1: Support system for their sales program or something.
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 3: Because we'll be at hotels, and it's for people that
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 3: work at a fucking something thing, like corporate.
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 1: That's another thing. You get into the stand-up comedian. If
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: you start doing a clean... 25 minutes? Yes, yes.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 3: Corporate events like that.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: You could be a keynote speaker at these events. Shout
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 1: out to comedian, comedy comedian, stand-up comedian, comedian writer, Judy Carter.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: Go follow her, man. If you're a stand-up comedian, she
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: used to have a comedy class back in the day
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: named Judy Carter and she gives amazing advice on stand-up
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: comedy on Instagram and on TikTok. She was talking about, bro, like,
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: if you have like a 30-minute set, clean set, you
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: could do 30 minutes of Stand up and then 50
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 1: minutes of bullshitting advice about life. I know a lot
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: of communities who are doing that who are animals, bro,
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: in real life. Like, this fool out there giving advice
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: to high school students. Oh, my God. Do they know
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: this guy had a booger of coke hanging down his
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: nose last night? You know what I mean?
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 2: Are we talking about fucking.
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 3: That's a lot of people like that. What's that fool's name, bro?
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: Bro, if we don't say names, you'll never wear a mask. Oh, yeah.
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 3: Here, let me say the name. But it's true.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: Hey, bro.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 3: Hey, bro.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: I'm right.
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, keynote speaker.
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know. Did you know about that?
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't, but I'm down to do that shit and
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 2: anything for a paycheck, man.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man. Just go ask her, man. I think she'll
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: give you all the information. My friend, Judy Carter, man,
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: had a comedy writing class. And then she had a
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: book that when you join her class for $ 500 for
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: like five weeks, then you'll have like a showcase show
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 1: with her hosting at the improv, and then she'll give
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: you like a nice set, a good-ass set, bro. And
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: with that set, if it's good, you can get work.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: So join Medina. That fool went to King Coast FedEx
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: and reproduced that book, bro. Started selling it. What though? Nah,
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: he started giving everybody a copy. That's how I got her.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: That's how I got to know her.
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 3: But she, dude, she gets some great advice on Instagram, bro.
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 3: And I saw that keynote thing. And it's true.
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: The keynote thing, right?
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 3: This event. Like I was watching like.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 1: You learned that thing? Go ahead.
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I saw all the people doing the seminars and
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 3: stuff like that.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, cool.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 3: You know, like I feel like.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: That's what Leo should be doing. Yeah, Leo. He'll murder it, bro.
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, dude. And I was thinking like me with the
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 3: right tweaking, the right like practice, I could do something
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 3: like this, you know, like.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: No, they'll put you over there. You fucking do like
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: a clean ass 35 minutes and then talk about skateboarding
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 1: in your life. Yeah. Talk about that dude that I
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: used to work with at the movie theater, bro. So
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 1: they could watch out for strangers.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 3: Stranger danger, bro? A guy used to try to molest
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 3: me when I used to work at a movie theater.
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: Ruben, right?
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 3: No, Ernesto, bro. I fucked that guy up, bro. You
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 3: tried to fuck me one time?
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: I thought you said I fucked him, man.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 3: I know. I can't even. You have fucking charm, bro.
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: No. But they all have charm, bro. What the fuck?
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: Because they're predators. They know, bro. They're like lions. They
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 1: know how to smell a victim, bro. Yeah. No, you don't. No,
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: you don't.
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that guy Ernesto, bro. And he was small.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: That guy. That happened to you at the weird uncle, bro?
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of weird apples.
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: They start with the devil.
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 2: But not as a grown man. You were an adult already, right?
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 3: I was like 21, bro. I was 19. But this guy, bro.
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: But beautiful, bro.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 3: He tried to corner me at the movie theater. We
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 3: were cleaning the movie theater.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 2: We're ushers, you know? He tried to corner me. He
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 2: tried to puppet you.
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 3: I sucked that guy like hard and he wanted to cry, dude.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 2: He tried to puppet Saavedra to you, bro.
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. For real? No puppet. Oh, from... Give me a chon-chon.
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 2: Give me a chon-chon. And what happened?
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 3: I know, I just fucked... I socked him hard. He
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 3: wanted to cry.
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: You think he tried that with a lot of movie
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: projector guys?
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 3: Because we're up there in the... But then he got
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 3: fired because he... He got fired because he pinched a
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 3: girl's ass because she bent over. I think he was
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 3: just horny. He just wanted anything, bro, you know?
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: See right there, man? That's like taking it too far, man.
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 3: He got greedy.
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, of course, he took it too far with
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: you too, but... But... Like, how do you go from
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: getting rejected and punched in the face to someone pinching,
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: bending over and pinching them?
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: That's like that movie I saw, bro. That's like you
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: try to borrow $ 20, 000 and they tell you no, now
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: you want to borrow $ 100, 000.
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: Double down, double down.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 3: He was just a horny-ass fool. I think he just
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 3: wanted action, bro.
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 2: That's wild, man. Do you know how to fight?
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: He fought for that night, bro, for his rights.
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like things like when they say the
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 3: story about, you know, like the lady left her daughter.
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like when it happens.
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 3: I had to like.
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 1: How old was Ernesto, bro?
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 3: He was like 25. I was like 19.
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: You probably had nephews, bro.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, fuck that guy, dude. But yeah, I remember him
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 3: trying to corner me and he tried to touch me like,
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 3: what the fuck, bro?
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 2: And I thought, yeah, man. What movie was playing?
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 3: No, we were cleaning the movie theater.
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 2: I think we were cleaning the background.
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 3: I forgot what movie it was. But that movie theater
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 3: was filled with a lot of eccentric people. There was
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 3: a guy, Omar, an old guy who used to ride
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 3: a bicycle because he got a DUI. And he would
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 3: hide alcohol bottles around the movie theaters. And he got
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 3: caught because you always smell like alcohol.
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 1: You know? Omar, yeah. Maybe because he needed to get
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: liquored up or else he was too shy to approach you.
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: He thought maybe, like, you were too good for him
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 1: or something.
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 2: Needed the courage. The courage to talk to me. Yeah,
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 2: the courage, my boy.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: Every time you pop the popcorn.
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 2: You look like fucking....
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 3: You look like you're trying to be in a K-pop band, bro.
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 2: You look like a Mexican Jack Black.
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 1: Now I look like I really like soccer, huh? Yeah, mate.
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: When he hit that equalizer. So that was the only
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: time a man tried to approach you?
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 3: Molest me? Yeah, I'm trying to think. I mean, I
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 3: have guys that hit on me online, you know. A
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 3: lot of thoughts that's hit on me, too.
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: I remember I said this joke last week, bro. I
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 1: was going on my set, and I go, damn, I
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 1: said that? I said that I was an altar boy
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: until I stopped being cute. Yes, that's beautiful. And the
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 1: priest was all mad and shit because my uncle had
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: first dibs. Fuck, dude. Fuck. No? Fuck, dude.
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 2: You're giving Rizzo flashbacks. Yeah, I'm going to give him
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 2: a game.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 3: No, I never went to church like that, bro.
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 2: I never was that type of Catholic.
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: At 12, I started being cute, bro. I had a
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: big-ass pimple, and my stomach, I was getting fatter, bro.
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 3: Puberty, bro.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: A lot of people are not chubby lovers.
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 2: I'm a torta pounder.
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: When I was a little kid, bro, I swear to God, bro,
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't think my penis was ever going to grow. Like,
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 1: it looked like when I was 10 or something, I
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 1: would look at it. Man. It looked like a cannon, bro.
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 2: Reminiscing right now.
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: It was a gusano, bro, like, because I had foreskin.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 1: So it looked like it was always closed.
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 3: Closed for business, bro.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: Like, it was always closed, bro. Like, it looked like,
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: I don't even know how I peed, like, It looked
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: like it was always permanently closed.
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 2: Permanently.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: It looked like a little baby anteater or something, bro.
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: It was just always closed.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 3: You got the two cardinals, bro.
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: I would pull it down and show it to my
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: mom and go, Mom, this is normal. It's normal. Because
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: I had watched the porn already and it was uncircumcised.
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: It was like the whole fucking German Nazi head.
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 3: Fucking shit.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 2: What the?
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: I would look at my penis and go, It doesn't
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: look like that, man. It looks like a little firecracker, eh?
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what's funny?
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 1: Nobody talks to you about these things, bro. Somebody would
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: sit me down and go, listen, man, you're too young
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: to be worried about stuff like that.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 3: How come they didn't circumcise us? Was it extra? Did
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 3: they charge? How come I wasn't circumcised? I always ask
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 3: that question. Did they want to charge my mom extra?
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 1: What the fuck, dude? It's a time. It's a time.
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 1: It's a time.
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 2: It's Jewish stuff.
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: Whoever was president, you know, like.
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 3: What the... The time.
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 1: Like when President Obama was president, people stopped wearing... They
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: stopped wearing ties. Because he didn't want to tie it.
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, he wanted to be more like.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: John F. Kennedy. When he was president, people stopped wearing hats.
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 3: Like the... Yeah.
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 3: I guess it's like a more relaxed look, you know?
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 3: You were circumcised?
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 1: Yes. I don't know, bro. Are you circumcised, bro? Do
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 1: you have the extra skin like Bubba Smith? What's up, bro?
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 2: This is the podcast, man.
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 3: I got the cuirote, homie. We got cuirotes right here, bro.
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: Bro, one time this girl told me to wear a condom.
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: I just tied it up.
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, one time this girl was jacking me off. She
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 3: pulled the skin back. She's like, there's more?
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bitch.
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 2: There's more?
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man. You don't see right there, man.
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 3: Level two.
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 1: Are you circumcised, bro? I am not. Not? No. You're
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: not circumcised?
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 2: But I don't got like a.
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 3: Long sweater. That's what you sell to Hawaii, bro.
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 2: Mine's not permanent clothes.
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 3: That's what you sell to Hawaii, bro.
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 1: He's a skin. When a woman holds it, does she
• 1:37:39
  Speaker 1: have to put her hand one? Does she go like this?
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: Or does she have to go a second one?
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 2: Because it's so much.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 3: Like a saga.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 2: Does that make it scrunchy?
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 3: It's scrunchy.
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: Like when a woman grabs your dick, bro, when she
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 1: grabs your penis. So she has to go like this, like, oh,
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: my God, I got to put this shit back. Oh,
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: my God, bro.
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 3: You pull the sleeves back, bro. Yeah.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: People don't know, bro, that when you have all that foreskin,
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of maintenance, bro. You have to, bro. Like,
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: if I pee in the middle of the night and
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 1: then go to sleep, pee in the middle of the night,
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: by morning, bro, it smells like a homeless man at
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: a subway over there in Downey by the 105.
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I permanently have my skin back now.
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 3: I pulled it all the way back. It's been back
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 3: since like.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 1: It's super gluteal.
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 3: Because I got a bad yeast infection in like 2014.
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 3: And then, so then... Because the skin, we keep it forward.
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 3: It keeps it moist so it doesn't dry up, you know?
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 1: So I... Yeah, save that cheese for something.
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 2: I don't worry.
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 3: So after that, every girl I dated, they thought I
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 3: was circumcised, but I was like a catfish. You know,
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 3: like I tricked you, you know.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 2: He lets it go at the end.
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 3: I let my real self at the end.
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 1: I told my mom, the thing that happened to me
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 1: when I was a kid, and I didn't know what
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: to do with it, and then I just told my
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: mom to come over, and I just sold her, bro,
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: like under the kitchen table. Tengo mayonesa.
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, no! I got mayonnaise.
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 1: Tengo cacique cheese.
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 3: You're a fucking.
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 1: Tengo queso estilo Jalisco.
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 3: You're a fucking cacique.
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: Tengo panela, mom. Que onda? She sort of took me, bro.
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: You know that little... That little... That little... Mayonesa. That
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: little thing they give you to pee, bro. When your
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: cousin comes over... and you know that he's a mion, like,
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: the mom tells you, listen, man, if Hulu could spend
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: the night, but, man, he wets his bed, and he
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 1: can't stay the night. Oh, he's already packed. He's ready.
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: And then, and then, like, so you got to bring
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 1: that little pail, bro, to everybody's bed so they could
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 1: pee on it because they're not going to make it
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 1: to the restroom. Yeah.
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 3: Put a diaper on that fool, dude.
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: Bro, we put a diaper, not only a diaper, we put,
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 1: We put like a whole plastic sheet and then we
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 1: put the fucking... You're quarantining that fool, dude. Yeah, man.
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 1: So there was a pail that that fool had to
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: pee on. So my mom used that. She put my
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 1: penis over that and she cleaned it. My mom cleaned it.
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 1: And I was like, older chicks is them.
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 3: Older chicks are.
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 1: Hot, dude.
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 3: I like older chicks.
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 1: You got to hand it to them.
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, because older chicks have been through everything.
• 1:40:43
  Speaker 1: What's the oldest woman you've ever been with, bro? When
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: you were a kid.
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 3: What?
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 2: What the fuck?
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 3: Like the age gap. I was 22, and I met
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 3: a girl, and she was 44.
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 1: We'll get back to you, bro.
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 3: At the Formosa Cafe. I met her at a show.
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 3: At the TK show. The guy that wears a fucking wig.
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 1: He's bald.
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 2: Remember the comedian?
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: Tight knit. My ass. Here's a comedy club in Texas,
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: but you should go headline it.
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 3: Really, TK?
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, he does. Dallas, Texas.
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 3: Because we had a club right here in Studio City, remember?
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Willie Barsena headlined his show in Texas.
• 1:41:19
  Speaker 3: He was like the white Joey Medina, bro. I remember, like,
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 3: I just hated him.
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: Joey Medina. He does? I never knew him like that.
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 2: Joey Medina.
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a fake wig, bro.
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: But I didn't know he hit up on chicks like that. Oh, man, dude.
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 3: That guy, he dressed like a fucking old Ed Hardy
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 3: guy back in the day. Hit on every girl?
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 2: This white guy?
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, TK.
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 1: He had the funniest joke, bro. He goes, yeah, man.
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: It was like, I guess that movie Shawshank Redemption came out,
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: and TK had a joke, man. And I remember me
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: and Gabriel, we fucking died, bro. He said, yeah, man,
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 1: my grandfather died in Auschwitz. Yeah, he fell off the
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: guard tower. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 3: Ha, ha.
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: So what's the oldest chick you've been with, bro?
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 2: I think I was like 19. She was like 38.
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 2: That's a good dude.
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 1: That's nine years older or 19?
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 3: 19 years older.
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 2: 19 and 38.
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 3: There's a difference too right there, right?
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 1: Damn, bro. She's a senora, bro.
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 3: They don't really shave it then too, right?
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 2: So they're all like.
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: What was it like, bro?
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 2: It was a learning experience.
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 3: Did she have kids?
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 1: Did she start talking to her mom afterwards?
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 2: It was the type of lady that would hide her
• 1:42:33
  Speaker 2: son When you come over, you know, like, they wake up.
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 3: Yo, bitch, you have a PlayStation?
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 2: You go behind the curtain. And you'll be hiding behind
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 2: the curtain, but your dick's still up, you know? And
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 2: the kid comes by, like, what the fuck is this?
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 3: Was she divorced?
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Regardless. Baby mamas.
• 1:42:53
  Speaker 3: Those are fine, bro.
• 1:42:55
  Speaker 2: All the baby mamas are the ones.
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 1: My baby mama is nine years older than me.
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 3: Shut up.
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 3: Whoa, dude.
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bro. Cougars? So much time.
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 2: Damn, bro. You got no kids, huh?
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 1: No, not yet. Nine years already.
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 3: Wow. You have kids?
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: Four. Oh, four kids?
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 2: Two girls, two boys.
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 1: Wow. I was talking about Iron Maiden and she was
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: talking about the fucking Bee.
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 3: Gees, bro. Damn, that's crazy, bro.
• 1:43:28
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:43:28
  Speaker 3: How'd you guys meet? Community college or what the.
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: She was babysitting? I had a job interview, bro.
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 3: Damn, dude.
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 2: You guys were interviewing for the same job?
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 1: No, probably. Damn, bro.
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 3: Was it fun?
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: Nah, bro. Nightmare. It was good. Let's get back to you, bro.
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 3: Y'all was 22 and she was 44. I met her
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 3: at the prom. It was a cafe. I had a show.
• 1:43:55
  Speaker 3: And then she was tall, bro. And we're like, She
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 3: was just buying me drinks. And then we went to
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 3: her car. And then she had to bend over to, like,
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 3: kiss me. And then we went to her apartment because
• 1:44:05
  Speaker 3: she just got divorced. And then, yeah.
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 1: It was fun, dude.
• 1:44:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:44:08
  Speaker 1: I was at the Grand Central Market one time. And
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 1: I was, like, still in, like, a year after high school, probably.
• 1:44:16
  Speaker 1: And I was working at Dodger Stadium. And I was
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 1: just chilling at the Grand Central Market. And this lady
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: with a man voice came up to me. What's up, homie?
• 1:44:25
  Speaker 1: Como esta, mijo? Por favor. So she started talking to me,
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 1: and she had reddish hair, red hair, big boobs, a dress,
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 1: all this and that. And long story short, I ended
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 1: up at her house over there in mid-city, bro. We
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: took the bus.
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 3: Like romantic as fuck together?
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we went to the house, and I thought I
• 1:44:50
  Speaker 1: was going to get busy, right? And then she told
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 1: me in Spanish that she made a bet with her
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 1: friends that she knew me.
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 3: She was a paisa?
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 3: Whoa.
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 1: She made a bet with her friends that she knew me, bro.
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: And then that was that, bro. I got the bus
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 1: back home. Damn, dude. But I swear to God, to
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: this day, I think she was trans.
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, because of what?
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Because she was very pretty, right? Very pretty,
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 1: very pretty. But, um, When she, like, really, when she
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 1: picked me up and threw me out the house, I
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 1: knew that, nah, man, there's something's up. But, yeah, man,
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 1: it was weird, man. Like, I thought, like, I never,
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: I thought it was, at first I thought it was cool, right,
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: this hot lady with a radio voice talking to me.
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 3: Oye, te la chupo.
• 1:45:43
  Speaker 1: Like, she's about to do the, this is Uncle Benson here,
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 1: and you're listening to 95.5 KLOS. We're about to get
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: the lead out. Yeah, dog, that was amazing. Nothing happened
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 1: sexually because she didn't want, nothing happened because. But I
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: really thought later on that maybe I'm trying to make
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 1: myself not feel that I was used or stupid. Maybe
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: I think she was a man, but I really thought
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: to this day that it could have been a trans.
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: But still, I would not care back then.
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 3: Women were more rough back then.
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 2: Say you got lucky that you didn't find out.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: She got lucky, bro. I'll put that dress over his
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: head and go, wow, we better split that fucking money, man.
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 1: How much did you get for pretending to know me, senor?
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 3: That's funny. Oh, man. There's a chick I'm trying to. Oh, man.
• 1:46:38
  Speaker 3: She's going viral. She's a migrant worker. She works in
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 3: the fields. And she's going viral because like.
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 1: She's AI, bro.
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 3: No, no. She's a real fucking person, bro. When she
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 3: gets done with work, she's all covered, she's all dirty,
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 3: and then people like her. She has a nice body,
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 3: and people don't usually see a migrant worker working in
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 3: the fields like that.
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 1: She has a BBL and a boob job and everything, right?
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it's like BBL.
• 1:47:04
  Speaker 1: Her name is? They probably slaughtered her whole family in Mexico,
• 1:47:09
  Speaker 1: and she got that booty by the cartel, and now
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: she has to work it off.
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 3: I don't know. She lives out here now. Her name is,
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 3: if you look up her Instagram, it's Cruz.
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 1: She probably got married. She probably was on the fucking
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 1: beauty pageant when she was 13, bro. That's all she remembers.
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 3: Her name is Cruz. So, C-R-U-Z-M-A-T-I, Mati.
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: Hey, compa. 571.
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 3: So, this girl goes.
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 1: She's going viral right.
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 3: Now because of her.
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 3: So, go all the way down. So, see how she's
• 1:47:40
  Speaker 3: all working the fields and stuff like that? And all
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 3: these comments are all like, what the fuck, dude? So,
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 3: people are... This girl's going... She's like the first.
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: Is she real or she just goes for the videos?
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 3: That's the comments I keep seeing. I think she's real, bro.
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 3: Look at the other videos where she's like.
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 2: Look how she's thick?
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like, yeah, thicky wicky. So, I think that's
• 1:47:59
  Speaker 3: what people like.
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 1: So....
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 3: The other videos, the more controversial ones where she's like.
• 1:48:09
  Speaker 1: Because I've seen another one that's.
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 3: That people keep saying that it could be.
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 1: I know another woman that does it and she's older
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: than this lady.
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 3: No, this girl's younger.
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. And she's out there in the fields, bro,
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 1: like tearing shit up.
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 3: And you think... Is she for reals, or is she like...
• 1:48:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know. So, like, right there, some people are like,
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 3: what the fuck, dude?
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 1: Is that you?
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 3: I think that's real, bro. There's no way, like, she's
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 3: working on, like... There is a way, but.
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: Bring me no... Shut up. She give.
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 3: Would you save her?
• 1:48:47
  Speaker 1: I saw one, man, where this girl was looking like her,
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 1: but then all the other videos, she wears some little
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: ass shorts. Where does she live? Stalinas or Bakersfield?
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 3: It looks like she could be in Fresno, Bakersfield. There's
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 3: nothing like that out here, right?
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: So this is what you do, bro, all night?
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 3: No, bro, it just keeps popping up, bro. Because I'm
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 3: supporting the migrants, bro, you know?
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 1: And then.
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 2: Is that maybe Winnie and Willow?
• 1:49:19
  Speaker 3: Winnie and Willow, bro.
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but.
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 3: So there's a new genre.
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: At least they got the same pajamas.
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 3: So there's a... Dude, she knows what she's doing, bro.
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 2: You know what she's doing?
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 3: So there's a new... There's a new... A kink now,
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 3: I guess people like that.
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 1: A new allure, yeah. Oh, I see, look.
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 3: There's a new kink now. Like, she's doing this all...
• 1:49:43
  Speaker 3: Of course, she knows what she's doing.
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: You know who watches?
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 2: You know her views are from all Trump supporters. All
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 2: the farmer owners and shit.
• 1:49:51
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't know if she makes money now on this.
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 2: For sure, it has to.
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 3: So, dude, she makes more money doing this or, like.
• 1:49:58
  Speaker 1: Her job?
• 1:49:59
  Speaker 3: Mucho bendiciones.
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 2: Because you don't really see her writing. She's just doing,
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 2: shooting the video.
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 1: She went like, Faja, my haircut, bro.
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 3: Well, the Faja, no, the Faja's for her back, bro. She's, like,
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 3: bending over all day, working, dude. So all the, oh, shit.
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 3: So all the fruit you're eating, it's coming from her, dude.
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 1: If I owned that farm, bro, I would have fired
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 1: her already, bro.
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 3: You would have?
• 1:50:26
  Speaker 1: Why? I would have looked at her and said, listen, um,
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know what your daughter's doing out here, but, um,
• 1:50:32
  Speaker 1: We've been very low on the grapes, man. She's out
• 1:50:36
  Speaker 1: there influencing, but we need to, man, we got to
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: make wine. I mean, we're Monterey, California. We got to
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: make wine. I mean, your daughter not picking up garlic anymore, man. Like, honestly,
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 1: I paid for her visa. She needs to, like, go
• 1:50:54
  Speaker 1: back to Michoacan or.
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 3: No, I think she for sure has to be a
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 3: real worker.
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: But honestly, bro, like, is she doing this during her breaks?
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: Because if I was there working, I would say, ponte
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: a trabajar, pinche puta. Que chingado. Ponte a trabajar, pinche India.
• 1:51:16
  Speaker 1: Te quieres ir para atrás. Aguante mala, cabrona. Honestly, bro,
• 1:51:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that, but I'm just saying, if I
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 1: was working there with her, and, like, I'm busting my.
• 1:51:26
  Speaker 3: Ass, and she's working on her videos, Hey, did they, like,
• 1:51:29
  Speaker 3: her co-workers, like, wait, you can't say this stuff.
• 1:51:31
  Speaker 1: Did I ask you if it was real or not?
• 1:51:33
  Speaker 2: She's, uh, she got co-workers that want to collab, but
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 2: she doesn't know.
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:51:37
  Speaker 2: She's the one.
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 1: Because I saw one where I was following this Chinese
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 1: guy eating fucking shrimp off a boat.
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 3: It's all fake, huh?
• 1:51:46
  Speaker 1: Then he went to an influencer's award in China. He
• 1:51:48
  Speaker 1: was getting an award, bro. Uh-huh. And I'm like, really?
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 1: You got this guy to take time off from eating
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 1: lobster that's not cooked to fucking accept a real award
• 1:51:57
  Speaker 1: with food that's served on plates.
• 1:52:01
  Speaker 3: So, so the thing about this, oh, that's a friend
• 1:52:04
  Speaker 3: that's trying to collab. But the thing about these people,
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 3: there's a guy.
• 1:52:07
  Speaker 1: See right there, bro, if I owned that farm, I
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 1: would have said, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, put a weedy,
• 1:52:12
  Speaker 1: weedy here.
• 1:52:13
  Speaker 2: Put a weedy, weedy.
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 3: But there's a guy who was blowing up on Instagram
• 1:52:19
  Speaker 3: because he was just documenting himself at work at his
• 1:52:21
  Speaker 3: office job. And then once he started popping off and
• 1:52:23
  Speaker 3: like filming other stuff at home, you know, kind of
• 1:52:25
  Speaker 3: like living life, People stop following them because they're like, dude, I.
• 1:52:28
  Speaker 1: Used to follow you. This is your search history right here, right?
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 3: No, it's not.
• 1:52:31
  Speaker 2: This is our account.
• 1:52:32
  Speaker 3: It doesn't sound ready, bro. It's Instagram.
• 1:52:35
  Speaker 1: You guys did another sound ready.
• 1:52:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we did it, yeah.
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 1: How was that about?
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 3: It was fun, yeah. We're having an argument about going
• 1:52:42
  Speaker 3: to either, if it's cool to go to Tijuana for
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 3: the dentist or not. And Rodrigo's like, hell no, dude.
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 3: But also people have like.
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 1: What would you go to Tijuana for?
• 1:52:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, we're just having a debate. What did he say?
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 3: He said he wouldn't go.
• 1:52:59
  Speaker 1: Why? But where did he go to Tijuana for?
• 1:53:04
  Speaker 3: For Hong Kong, bro. For tacos, bro. No, but I
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 3: say like Tijuana, they have good dentists. I recommend that
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 3: you know them.
• 1:53:13
  Speaker 1: They're not known for dentists in Tijuana. They're known for upholstery.
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 3: Like couches?
• 1:53:19
  Speaker 1: They'll upholster your car.
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:53:21
  Speaker 1: Back in the day, if you want to upholster your
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 1: Volkswagen or your Bug or your Nissan, you would go
• 1:53:26
  Speaker 1: to Tijuana. That was a place, really? That's why in
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 1: that movie, Open Smoke, Cheech and Chong, they upholstered the
• 1:53:33
  Speaker 1: whole car with marijuana.
• 1:53:35
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 1:53:35
  Speaker 1: Back then, you could get upholstered everywhere. Okay, okay. But then, too,
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 1: you're talking about in Mexicali, the best, right? And Chinese restaurants?
• 1:53:43
  Speaker 3: Mexicali, they have, which is by Mollertown, where we were
• 1:53:46
  Speaker 3: at last time at the casino. They're known for their dentists.
• 1:53:49
  Speaker 3: People travel from Canada to down there, bro, to go
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 3: to the dentist. Because, I mean, dude, they're fucking, they're incredible,
• 1:53:57
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 1:53:58
  Speaker 1: I heard they make those teeth, those fake teeth, they
• 1:54:00
  Speaker 1: make them out of real people they killed over there.
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 3: Hey, they're real teeth, bro, you know what I mean?
• 1:54:05
  Speaker 3: Like a peluca, you know?
• 1:54:06
  Speaker 2: Authentic teeth.
• 1:54:07
  Speaker 1: I had a fake tooth over there with a pulpa
• 1:54:08
  Speaker 1: in it, bro. What's the name of the dentist you
• 1:54:11
  Speaker 1: go to in Tijuana?
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 3: Sam Dental, bro.
• 1:54:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, you go to Sam Dental in Tijuana?
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 3: Sam Dental in Tijuana, bro. That's the place to go
• 1:54:18
  Speaker 3: next to the tacos. Good fucking alcohol out there. I
• 1:54:21
  Speaker 3: recommend it. Good prices.
• 1:54:23
  Speaker 1: I got to go there one day.
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 3: Let's go, bro.
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know how.
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 3: Much it costs. Look right there.
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: Look. How much is for a cleaning, bro? Like, no
• 1:54:32
  Speaker 1: question is that. Don't give me no answer. Regular cleaning.
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: 59 bucks. USA, 150. But that's not included. Like, if
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 1: you go, ah, then you have to numb your ass.
• 1:54:44
  Speaker 3: It's all included, bro. It's all included. But look at that.
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 3: Dental implant replacement out here, $ 2, 200. Out there, $ 849.
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: Eh?
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 3: Tijuana, bro. Tijuana, man.
• 1:54:58
  Speaker 1: Let's go. Are there really a lot of Chinese restaurants
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 1: in Mexicali that they say you've been there?
• 1:55:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:55:05
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of Chinese. There's what's called the Chinesca, where, like,
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 3: a lot of.
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 3: When the Chinese people were being, what's it called? They
• 1:55:12
  Speaker 3: were being treated bad out here. They all moved to
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 3: like that part of Mexicali and they built like underground
• 1:55:16
  Speaker 3: tunnels because it was so hot.
• 1:55:17
  Speaker 1: Fool. I saw this little, tiny little history on Chinese
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 1: people in Mexicali and the guy went to a fucking
• 1:55:26
  Speaker 1: Chinese restaurant in Mexicali Foo, they're famous for their al
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: pastor fried rice.
• 1:55:33
  Speaker 3: God damn. That sounds... Bro.
• 1:55:36
  Speaker 1: Sounds fucking delicious, bro. Hell yeah.
• 1:55:38
  Speaker 3: They had to hybrid... Al pastor fried rice, motherfucker. That
• 1:55:42
  Speaker 3: sounds good, bro.
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 1: Foo.
• 1:55:45
  Speaker 2: You eat that?
• 1:55:46
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, bro. Well, not anymore, but when I was
• 1:55:48
  Speaker 1: not vegan, give me three.
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 3: What was the last.
• 1:55:51
  Speaker 2: Give me three.
• 1:55:52
  Speaker 3: What was the last meal you ate before you weren't vegan?
• 1:55:54
  Speaker 3: Was it kind of like a last meal at prison
• 1:55:57
  Speaker 3: when you were about to get.
• 1:55:58
  Speaker 1: Probably, it was.
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 1: The last fish burrito I had was at Siete Mares
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 1: in fucking Sunset. And the last hamburger was at Sacramento, bro,
• 1:56:12
  Speaker 1: at the fucking Juicy Lucy. Look it up. Juicy Lucy
• 1:56:18
  Speaker 1: in Sacramento. Look at the biggest. It had a double cheeseburger, bro.
• 1:56:23
  Speaker 1: Look how big this cheeseburger is. Look how big the
• 1:56:25
  Speaker 1: cheese is.
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 3: Tango hamburger, bro.
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 1: You're going to die.
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 3: Isn't Sacramento?
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 1: We're talking about food here. I'm going to tell you
• 1:56:33
  Speaker 1: about this burger. This burger comes out, bro, like a
• 1:56:35
  Speaker 1: regular chop roll burger. They flip it over twice. Then
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 1: they add like a handful of cheddar cheese on top
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 1: of it. And then so the cheese won't burn, they add,
• 1:56:46
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, the place called The Squeeze. They add, they
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 1: put ice around it so the cheese won't burn. And
• 1:56:53
  Speaker 1: then you get like a cheese skirt on top. It's
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 1: called The Squeeze. The Squeeze.
• 1:56:58
  Speaker 3: Whoa. That's cheese on top of the bun, bro?
• 1:57:02
  Speaker 1: That's the cheese they put on the hamburger.
• 1:57:04
  Speaker 3: What the?
• 1:57:06
  Speaker 1: It's like a big old mini pizza-sized cheese they put
• 1:57:10
  Speaker 1: on top of the hamburger.
• 1:57:12
  Speaker 3: The What's Up Food podcast.
• 1:57:13
  Speaker 1: And you squeeze it, bro. You peel the cheese off,
• 1:57:16
  Speaker 1: and you grab a fry, and you dip it in
• 1:57:18
  Speaker 1: blue cheese, and you eat it. Perro. I know how
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 1: to get fat, bro. I would have died like five
• 1:57:24
  Speaker 1: years ago, bro, if I had not been vegan.
• 1:57:26
  Speaker 3: See, the club we're going to.
• 1:57:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that looks crazy.
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 3: The fucking cheese on top of the fucking bun.
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 1: Look at that shit, dog. Yum.
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 3: So, you know, we're going this week to Kansas City.
• 1:57:37
  Speaker 3: I like because next door they have the Jamaican restaurant, bro.
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 3: The fucking oxtail. I'm going to fucking fuck that shit up.
• 1:57:42
  Speaker 1: This weekend, bro.
• 1:57:43
  Speaker 2: Hey, oxtail is fire, bro. We just had that yesterday.
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah?
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 1: You know, most oxtails you eat in America is really
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 1: kangaroo tail. When did I say you saw ox anywhere, bro?
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: Even on your algorithms. How come you see oxtails but
• 1:57:56
  Speaker 1: you don't see no ox?
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 2: Do they exist, bro?
• 1:57:58
  Speaker 3: Fuck!
• 1:57:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Look it up, bro. Most oxtails are kangaroo.
• 1:58:03
  Speaker 3: Am I eating cow tail, bro?
• 1:58:04
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 1:58:05
  Speaker 2: Is that true? That's crazy. Well, kangaroo is delicious, my boy.
• 1:58:10
  Speaker 2: I'm fucking up with the kangaroo.
• 1:58:12
  Speaker 3: You've had a kangaroo before?
• 1:58:13
  Speaker 2: No, but if it's that, I'm with it.
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 3: We had kangaroo beef jerky here one time. But when
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 3: you're in Hawaii, do you miss Mexican food?
• 1:58:22
  Speaker 2: Nah, I'm Mexican.
• 1:58:23
  Speaker 3: I cook at home.
• 1:58:24
  Speaker 2: I just don't go out, but it's all right. There's
• 1:58:28
  Speaker 2: other stuff to eat.
• 1:58:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, Hawaiian food's good, bro.
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 1: Fucking.
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 3: But it's almost.
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 2: Like local food, you know? It's a mixture of Filipinos, Hawaiians, Portuguese, yeah, yeah.
• 1:58:39
  Speaker 1: What do you want to talk about on stage? Like,
• 1:58:41
  Speaker 1: if people were to describe your comedy, what would you
• 1:58:44
  Speaker 1: describe it?
• 1:58:45
  Speaker 2: Talk about my life.
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 1: Dark.
• 1:58:47
  Speaker 2: My family.
• 1:58:48
  Speaker 1: Dark.
• 1:58:50
  Speaker 2: Observational.
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 1: So you talk about your dad being a crackhead?
• 1:58:53
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
• 1:58:53
  Speaker 1: What do you say?
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 2: All that shit. All that shit that he's a crackhead.
• 1:58:58
  Speaker 2: All the shit he did, all the stealing, all the
• 1:59:01
  Speaker 2: fucking manipulation to get more crack. He had me cry
• 1:59:05
  Speaker 2: one time to a crackhead dude. Like, give my dad
• 1:59:07
  Speaker 2: more crack.
• 1:59:09
  Speaker 1: For $ 10. What?
• 1:59:10
  Speaker 2: For $ 10. He used to steal my mom's cars, bro,
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 2: and go sell them. And we would find the cars
• 1:59:16
  Speaker 2: parked in different houses, and then we'd go ask him,
• 1:59:18
  Speaker 2: and he's like, yeah, I'll This dude gave it to
• 1:59:20
  Speaker 2: me for a rock.
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 3: Because you lived in, was it the Nickerson Projects?
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 2: Nickerson Garden.
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 3: Dude, those projects are crazy.
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: Those are the projects where- There were a few Mexicans
• 1:59:28
  Speaker 1: that lived there, huh? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:59:30
  Speaker 2: It's all black.
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 3: That's where Justin Bieber's car broke down and they made
• 1:59:34
  Speaker 3: him do push-ups outside.
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 2: Remember? Why did his car break down and why?
• 1:59:36
  Speaker 3: I forgot, but his car broke down, but all the
• 1:59:39
  Speaker 3: homies were making him do push-ups out there.
• 1:59:42
  Speaker 2: It's crazy. It's a rapper named J-Rock. Have you ever
• 1:59:44
  Speaker 2: heard of J-Rock? He grew up out there.
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, Jerry, yeah.
• 1:59:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, damn.
• 1:59:48
  Speaker 3: See, that's the Nickerson Project right there, bro.
• 1:59:50
  Speaker 2: You got to make sure you say Nickerson.
• 1:59:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Nickerson.
• 1:59:53
  Speaker 3: Because I used to work at Gompers Middle School.
• 1:59:55
  Speaker 2: Hey, I went to Gompers.
• 1:59:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I used to teach skateboarding there.
• 1:59:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you did?
• 1:59:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 2: I had a lot of fights in Gompers.
• 2:00:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, so your father used to make you go beg
• 2:00:03
  Speaker 1: the drug dealer to cry for more crack?
• 2:00:06
  Speaker 2: Once in a while.
• 2:00:07
  Speaker 1: What would you say? He didn't push us for this?
• 2:00:15
  Speaker 3: Bro, he's in the hood right there.
• 2:00:16
  Speaker 2: What park is this?
• 2:00:17
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait. Oh, okay.
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, that's dope. Okay, Jesse. You see that?
• 2:00:23
  Speaker 3: This Canadian food fucking watts, bro.
• 2:00:25
  Speaker 2: That's dope. But the neighbor can't walk outside. They're going
• 2:00:28
  Speaker 2: to fuck him up.
• 2:00:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. About for three days.
• 2:00:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So wait, it's funny because he has a funny,
• 2:00:34
  Speaker 3: he talks about it, how like you went from like
• 2:00:37
  Speaker 3: the hood to like you're still trying gang banging and
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 3: fucking in Honolulu, right? You're still trying.
• 2:00:41
  Speaker 2: To like go out. But when I was a teenager,
• 2:00:43
  Speaker 2: I moved out there thinking I was badass, you know?
• 2:00:45
  Speaker 2: Because here in L.A., when you say it from wise people,
• 2:00:47
  Speaker 2: most of the time they leave you alone.
• 2:00:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:00:49
  Speaker 2: But then the real dudes will test you, you know?
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 2: But being in Hawaii, say, from L.A., you think, like, yeah,
• 2:00:55
  Speaker 2: they're going to leave you alone. But, fuck it, I
• 2:00:56
  Speaker 2: didn't know Hawaiians could fight for reals.
• 2:00:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, they're fucking big, dude.
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 2: They love to fight.
• 2:01:01
  Speaker 3: That's so funny.
• 2:01:02
  Speaker 2: So you got to humble. I did a lot of
• 2:01:04
  Speaker 2: growing up over there.
• 2:01:05
  Speaker 3: That's cool, man.
• 2:01:06
  Speaker 1: My dad was all racist. Be respectful.
• 2:01:08
  Speaker 3: Fuck.
• 2:01:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, show's coming up. Beethoven.
• 2:01:16
  Speaker 2: Like a young 2026 Beethoven? You look like an AI Beethoven.
• 2:01:20
  Speaker 1: Dun-dun-dun-dun.
• 2:01:22
  Speaker 3: Dun-dun-dun-dun. Look at my calendar.
• 2:01:27
  Speaker 1: Dun-dun-dun-dun.
• 2:01:28
  Speaker 2: Kansas City, bro.
• 2:01:28
  Speaker 1: Leave it right there, bro.
• 2:01:31
  Speaker 3: We're doing the show in Bellflower, the 8th, man. What's
• 2:01:35
  Speaker 3: it called? Oh, I'm doing the show with Larry Bubbles
• 2:01:38
  Speaker 3: Brown in San Francisco, bro.
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 2: Larry Bubbles is funny.
• 2:01:41
  Speaker 1: You should do that gig, bro. It's a one-nighter. It's
• 2:01:42
  Speaker 1: a good gig.
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'll give you Larry's number.
• 2:01:46
  Speaker 1: I bet, man.
• 2:01:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Appreciate you guys, man, for connecting.
• 2:01:51
  Speaker 3: Okay, so talk about Hawaii gangs and stuff like that.
• 2:01:54
  Speaker 3: I did a show with them in Palm Springs, and
• 2:01:58
  Speaker 3: this one foo, young foo, he made me do a
• 2:02:01
  Speaker 3: thing with his hands to take a picture of And
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 3: I told him, what was that? He's like, oh, it's
• 2:02:06
  Speaker 3: from my gang, bro.
• 2:02:06
  Speaker 1: Hawaiian Gardens, bro.
• 2:02:07
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
• 2:02:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's out here.
• 2:02:10
  Speaker 3: All Mexicans, bro. No Hawaiians in that gang, bro.
• 2:02:13
  Speaker 1: No Hawaiians. Yeah.
• 2:02:15
  Speaker 3: It was the name of the.
• 2:02:17
  Speaker 1: Gang over there in Hawaii, the local gang. Honolulu.
• 2:02:20
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of them. But there's a shark gang.
• 2:02:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't know there's a gang in Oahu called Sharks.
• 2:02:27
  Speaker 2: I have a joke about sharks. And it turns out
• 2:02:29
  Speaker 2: there's a real gang. So my bad.
• 2:02:32
  Speaker 1: That was a nickname, bro, in Hawaiian, Melahalo.
• 2:02:35
  Speaker 3: Melahalo, homie.
• 2:02:37
  Speaker 2: That's funny, bro. You had me say that.
• 2:02:38
  Speaker 3: Melahalo.
• 2:02:40
  Speaker 2: Or Halalaka.
• 2:02:41
  Speaker 3: You ever heard of Halalakala?
• 2:02:43
  Speaker 2: It's a mountain out there.
• 2:02:44
  Speaker 1: I went to a lesbian bar with her brother, Nolakidiki.
• 2:02:52
  Speaker 2: Did you make that up?
• 2:02:53
  Speaker 3: That's funny, Nolakidiki.
• 2:02:56
  Speaker 1: All the hot dogs were cut in half, bro.
• 2:02:59
  Speaker 3: Wakikidugi.
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 1: That's what I said. Nolakidiki. A little bit of mayo
• 2:03:03
  Speaker 1: on them.
• 2:03:05
  Speaker 3: Out of all the islands, what's your favorite? Is it Maui?
• 2:03:07
  Speaker 2: Maui, yeah, hell yeah. But all the ones are fun.
• 2:03:10
  Speaker 3: I like Oahu because you know why? Because it has
• 2:03:13
  Speaker 3: a little bit of both. It has like the countryside
• 2:03:15
  Speaker 3: and it has the touristy part, right? And all the
• 2:03:17
  Speaker 3: comedy clubs are there too, right?
• 2:03:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all the stages and shit.
• 2:03:21
  Speaker 1: So you have shows coming up?
• 2:03:22
  Speaker 3: I said them already, bro. I'll say them again.
• 2:03:24
  Speaker 1: October 8th, yeah, at the Bellflower Comedy Club with Saul Trujillo,
• 2:03:29
  Speaker 1: Felipe Esparza. You have shows coming up?
• 2:03:32
  Speaker 2: I do, all week here. Laugh Factory, Hollywood, Sundays.
• 2:03:36
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah.
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 2: Tonight, Long Beach Laugh Factory.
• 2:03:38
  Speaker 1: What time, bro? You're late. No. Why?
• 2:03:41
  Speaker 2: It's far from here?
• 2:03:42
  Speaker 1: An hour. Yeah.
• 2:03:44
  Speaker 3: Good.
• 2:03:45
  Speaker 1: You beat traffic.
• 2:03:47
  Speaker 2: And I got some days with time.
• 2:03:48
  Speaker 1: First show is sold out in Bellflower.
• 2:03:50
  Speaker 3: Get your tickets for the second show, 10 p.m., bro.
• 2:03:53
  Speaker 3: Two shows.
• 2:03:55
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what I'm going to say, bro.
• 2:03:57
  Speaker 1: And it's a special.
• 2:03:59
  Speaker 3: Me no likey dicky, bro. That's a good one. Get
• 2:04:01
  Speaker 3: that one. Me no likey dicky.
• 2:04:04
  Speaker 1: I wrote this joke. It's stupid, bro.
• 2:04:08
  Speaker 3: Say it right here. Work it out.
• 2:04:10
  Speaker 1: I forgot how it goes. But it's dumb. So what's
• 2:04:17
  Speaker 1: your favorite joke? What was the first joke you ever wrote?
• 2:04:23
  Speaker 2: That being uncircumcised... It wasn't a problem because when I
• 2:04:27
  Speaker 2: didn't have a condom, I would put it forward and
• 2:04:29
  Speaker 2: tie it into a knot.
• 2:04:30
  Speaker 1: That's a good one.
• 2:04:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you said that earlier.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 1: That's a good one, bro.
• 2:04:35
  Speaker 2: I think I posted that on Facebook and shit.
• 2:04:38
  Speaker 3: My first joke I wrote? The one that almost got
• 2:04:41
  Speaker 3: me jumped at that fight when I did I Think
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 3: More Better Mondays, bro.
• 2:04:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, with Spike?
• 2:04:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:04:48
  Speaker 3: Remember I said the joke? I was like, oh, do
• 2:04:50
  Speaker 3: you guys ever wonder if Bloods and Crips have casual Fridays?
• 2:04:52
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 3: And then this fucking guy in the front, this older
• 2:04:54
  Speaker 3: black guy, what you say, homie?
• 2:04:56
  Speaker 2: It was a bunch of hood people.
• 2:04:57
  Speaker 3: And I couldn't recover from that because it was talking
• 2:04:59
  Speaker 3: shit to me. I started sweating, bro.
• 2:05:01
  Speaker 1: I said a gang joke one time, and I knew
• 2:05:03
  Speaker 1: that I couldn't say it no more because it was
• 2:05:06
  Speaker 1: too hard to the truth. And I said, it's funny,
• 2:05:09
  Speaker 1: I always find it strange that when gangs have a
• 2:05:13
  Speaker 1: rival gang and they don't get along, they call each
• 2:05:16
  Speaker 1: other food names. Like, I know there's one gang, like,
• 2:05:21
  Speaker 1: they don't get along with another class. They be like, man,
• 2:05:23
  Speaker 1: fuck you, fucking cheese toasts. They were like, cheese toast. Right?
• 2:05:28
  Speaker 1: And these other guys, they would call them tamales. I
• 2:05:32
  Speaker 1: want to see what their gangs are. Then the other
• 2:05:34
  Speaker 1: guys would call them cornflakes or what, primo something. There's
• 2:05:39
  Speaker 1: always food, huh? Honestly? Yeah. There's like one gang name.
• 2:05:44
  Speaker 1: They say a gang name.
• 2:05:46
  Speaker 3: Tortilla Flats.
• 2:05:48
  Speaker 1: Their name is the bats, right? Oh, bro, here comes
• 2:05:51
  Speaker 1: the fucking... The fucking lunchables, bro. The blood sausage.
• 2:06:04
  Speaker 2: The blood sausages?
• 2:06:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man, but that joke did not go well, bro.
• 2:06:09
  Speaker 1: Fuck you, bro. I'm from there. Hey, bro. What's up,
• 2:06:14
  Speaker 1: Food Podcast, man? A big shout out to Jose Raymond, man,
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 1: right here. Go check him out. He'll be in Hawaii
• 2:06:21
  Speaker 1: over there, right? Yeah, yeah. So you'll be there. October 23rd.
• 2:06:25
  Speaker 2: At the Hawaii Theater. When are you leaving L.A.? Next week, Monday.
• 2:06:29
  Speaker 1: We'll see you over there, bro. Hell yeah, man.
• 2:06:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you for the invite.
• 2:06:31
  Speaker 1: Bring some fucking malasadas, bro. That's all I got to say.
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 2: Stuffed or not?
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 3: Eesh.
• 2:06:40
  Speaker 1: Stuffed and non-stuffed. Bring one, bro. It's my sister and
• 2:06:43
  Speaker 1: my cousin's birthday, so. You got to bring the malasadas, bro, with...
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 1: with the vanilla inside, with the guayaba, and the blue,
• 2:06:52
  Speaker 1: which other one, the blueberry?
• 2:06:54
  Speaker 2: Where'd you go, Leonard's?
• 2:06:55
  Speaker 1: Leonard's. Leonard's.
• 2:06:58
  Speaker 3: Grab a fucking chicken while you're at it, bro, on
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 3: the streets, bro.
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 1: Not Leonard Velasquez. Ah, cabrón, they knocked down my signs.
• 2:07:07
  Speaker 1: What's up, fool? Thank you, everybody, man, who listens to
• 2:07:11
  Speaker 1: the What's Up Fool podcast. This Friday, we have an
• 2:07:14
  Speaker 1: amazing Do You Even Binge with Lisa Esparza on Hip
• 2:07:18
  Speaker 1: Hop Movies. And the history for fools, history of legalization
• 2:07:24
  Speaker 1: of prostitution in the state of Nevada. And we're going
• 2:07:28
  Speaker 1: to touch on the prostitution in Chinatown, Honolulu. You know,
• 2:07:33
  Speaker 1: Chinatown has the oldest Chinatown in America. Is it really? 18-something. Goddamn, dude.
• 2:07:39
  Speaker 1: The one in Oahu? Yeah, when it was fucking Spaniard. Oh, bro,
• 2:07:44
  Speaker 1: they had a fucking, you know, they had a pandemic? Yeah.
• 2:07:49
  Speaker 1: They had a herpes pandemic, bro, because of how, they
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 1: were fucking everything in Hawaii, bro.
• 2:07:54
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, they're trapped in the island, bro, you know?
• 2:07:57
  Speaker 1: The original Hong Kong, bro, like a hundred motherfuckers going
• 2:07:59
  Speaker 1: through there every night. Fuck. I can't take it. Aloha, everybody. Aloha.
• 2:08:05
  Speaker 1: See you guys in Hawaii, man.
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, dude. Do you like Giovanni's garlic shrimp, or
• 2:08:12
  Speaker 3: is it too.
• 2:08:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:08:21
  Speaker 3: It's funny because I go to all those touristy spots,
• 2:08:23
  Speaker 3: and to me it's good, but then people talk shit,
• 2:08:24
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck it.
• 2:08:25
  Speaker 2: You go to Giovanni's, bro.
• 2:08:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, fuck it.
• 2:08:28
  Speaker 2: Well, that's a lot of, like, that's dope that they
• 2:08:29
  Speaker 2: got famous, but there's a lot of other holes in
• 2:08:31
  Speaker 2: the wall, right?
• 2:08:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:08:32
  Speaker 1: The Tours are my favorite band, too. Riders on the storm.
• 2:08:38
  Speaker 1: Hemorrhoids burn my ass. Let the children play. Give yourself
• 2:08:46
  Speaker 1: a ride. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Sound like a
• 2:08:50
  Speaker 1: Native American singing, huh? Riders on the storm. Be careful
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 1: out there, the white man.
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 3: How's it going?
• 2:09:00
  Speaker 1: I am right here.
• 2:09:01
  Speaker 3: Many, many blue moons ago, I got DIY and Gray Buffalo.
• 2:09:06
  Speaker 1: Let's do this. Hey, sit in the middle, bro.
• 2:09:08
  Speaker 3: Picture time, bro.
• 2:09:09
  Speaker 2: That was fun.