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4: Gentle Political Conversations · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast, it's also an online
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course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is Take a Stand, Faithful
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Political Witness at Work.
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And in this first section, we're unpacking that
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word, faithful, looking at four different aspects of
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faithfulness in issues of politics as they come
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up in the workplace, specifically looking at what
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it means to be prayerful, thoughtful, gentle, and
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courageous.
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And today we get to gentle.
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Now, I want to start just by having
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you think about what adjectives you would use
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to describe political conversations you have had throughout
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your life.
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Maybe political conversations in the workplace, like we're
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looking at now, maybe with your family, right?
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What adjectives would you use to characterize those
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conversations?
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Maybe loaded, maybe awkward, maybe angry.
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Gentle is usually not the first adjective we
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would go to to describe political conversations.
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Now, why is that?
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Why is it that often these conversations are
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not carried out in a spirit of gentleness?
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Well, it's because politics really, really matters.
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Matters of justice and injustice, the way people
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live their lives, the way that public resources
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are used or potentially abused, all of these
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things matter.
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And because they matter, people can have very
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strong feelings about them.
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And when human beings have very strong feelings
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about things, often they fail to be gentle.
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Okay, so far, so simple, right?
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This is not particularly insightful.
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But then the question is, how can we
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as Christians practice gentleness with our own very
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strong feelings about political things?
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Because the feelings are not bad.
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It's good to have big feelings about big
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things.
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But what is bad is if in the
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midst of those feelings, we are unable to
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practice gentleness poor to others.
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So first, I want to just go to
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a few different verses about gentleness.
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So the first is from Proverbs chapter 15
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verse one, a gentle answer turns away wrath,
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but a harsh word stirs up anger.
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The second one also from Proverbs chapter 25
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verse 15, through patience, a ruler can be
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persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a
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bone.
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And then from Titus chapter three, verses one
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through two, this is the Apostle Paul writing,
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remind the people to be subject to rulers
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and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready
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to do whatever is good, to slander no
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one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always
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to be gentle toward everyone.
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Okay, so let's pause here and just look
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at what each of these simple teachings says
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about gentleness.
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So the first one, a gentle answer turns
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away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
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anger.
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This is talking about the relationship between gentleness
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and anger, and it actually says two things.
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It says that a harsh word stirs up
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anger, so we can provoke anger in other
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people if our words are harsh, but a
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gentle answer turns away wrath.
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So somebody who's already angry, if you engage
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them with gentleness, it can sometimes diffuse that
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anger.
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Hmm, interesting.
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Big feelings, including the feeling of anger.
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Gentleness can change the situation.
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That is fascinating.
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When we think about loaded conversations that often
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include anger, gentleness might be our friend.
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It might help us out in diffusing some
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of the feelings that come up.
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Okay, what about Proverbs 2515?
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Through patience, a ruler can be persuaded, and
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a gentle tongue can break a bone.
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Now, this is specifically about political discourse.
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It's talking about when you're trying to persuade
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a ruler.
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So the question at issue here is political
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activism.
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You've got a ruler, you're trying to get
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a policy change, you're trying to persuade them
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of something.
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How can you do it?
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Well, this wise proverb says, through patience.
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And then it gives this more graphic statement,
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a gentle tongue can break a bone.
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Sometimes you feel like you're trying to break
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something, like even break a bone.
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You're trying to change something that's just so
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set in place.
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Well, if you really want to achieve change,
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you know what you need?
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You need a gentle tongue.
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Hmm, fascinating, fascinating.
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Even in political activism, even in pursuing a
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policy change, what you need is a gentle
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tongue.
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Now, let's keep going.
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Again, we have some political guidance here in
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Paul's letter to Titus.
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Remind the people to be subject to rulers
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and authorities to be obedient.
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Okay, so our default option, generally speaking, is
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that we honor political authorities.
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That doesn't mean the political authorities are always
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good.
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There's lots of teaching and scripture about that
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too.
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But our kind of default option is to
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follow the law.
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Okay.
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But it's not just that.
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It's also to be ready to do whatever
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is good.
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So we're ready to take action to do
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whatever is good in our communities.
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To slander no one.
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So that means we don't speak falsely about
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anyone.
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We don't accuse them falsely of anything.
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To be peaceable and considerate.
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So we're living at peace with people and
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we're taking into account how other people are
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affected by things.
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We're being considerate.
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And then here's the here's the zinger.
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And always to be gentle toward everyone.
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And always to be gentle toward everyone.
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So that's pretty all-encompassing.
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So imagine you're dealing with a really tense
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situation and you feel angry.
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Is that still a situation where you're supposed
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to be gentle?
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Yeah.
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It says always to be gentle.
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And suppose you're dealing with somebody who's really
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being an idiot.
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Maybe they're saying something that's just nonsensical or
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even worse bigoted or unjust or unkind.
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You may be rightly angry at them because
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of this.
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And yet even in that moment, is that
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somebody you can be gentle towards?
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Well yes.
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It says to always be gentle toward everyone.
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Not just toward reasonable people.
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Not just for people that agree with your
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political convictions.
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Not just towards good people.
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It says to always be gentle toward everyone.
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And I gotta I gotta take a deep
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breath here.
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I'm getting worked up because so often we
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give ourselves these excuses to not be gentle.
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And in this moment I need to be
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gentle with myself and with you as my
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listeners that God is gonna help us to
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be more gentle always with everyone.
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Okay so this is our this is our
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biblical guidance about gentleness with a few different
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situations.
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How can this help us if politics ever
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comes up in the workplace?
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Well I think there's a few things here
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that are really clear.
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One is that gentleness should be our default
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setting as disciples of Jesus.
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It's true that there are times when we
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need to speak forcefully.
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It's true there are even times when anger
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and expressing anger is appropriate.
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At the same time our default setting is
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gentleness.
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Our default setting is a tenderness toward other
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people.
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Peaceful and considerate.
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A gentle answer.
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Not being harsh.
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Not stirring up other people's anger.
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Now this is not the same as being
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a pushover or simply being silent or or
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simply agreeing with everything that everybody else says.
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No no no.
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Gentleness is about a tenderness toward other people.
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It's about seeing in other people a preciousness
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to be honored.
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And one thing that this accomplishes is a
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kind of validation of the other person as
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a person, as a human being, regardless of
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whether you agree with what they're saying or
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not.
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And we can forget this.
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We often think about this in terms of
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ideas being exchanged.
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Political discourse is just idea versus idea and
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sometimes we don't pay attention to how the
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ideas are being exchanged.
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If someone says something to you and you
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respond with gentleness, that says something about your
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view of them as a person regardless of
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whether you agree or disagree with them.
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It actually is an expression of the biblical
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doctrine of the Imago Dei, that every human
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being is created in the image of God.
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So when we let gentleness be our default
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in our conversations, all conversations and even in
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fraught conversations, then we're actually already proclaiming the
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goodness of God, the goodness of his creation,
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the goodness of his love and his image
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in the human being that we're talking to.
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And so that the how really really matters.
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You can validate the other person regardless of
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whether you agree or disagree with them by
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treating them with gentleness.
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Okay, now that may be as far as
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you go.
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When you're in the workplace, you have to
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discern how do I respond to this this
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moment that's happening?
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Maybe somebody else initiated it.
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They're suddenly talking about politics.
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How are you going to respond?
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Are you going to ignore them?
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Are you going to engage with them?
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Are you going to tell them whether you
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agree with them or disagree with them?
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There's not necessarily one universal right answer.
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A lot of things have to be discerned
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in the moment, but you're gonna get closer
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to a Christ-like response if however you
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move forward, you move forward with gentleness in
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that moment.
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Okay, one of the options that you could
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discern in the moment as being appropriate is
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to seek to persuade the other person.
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Now again, it may not be the thing
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that you do.
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It may be that you discern, we need
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to change the subject.
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It could be you need to discern, I
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need to leave this conversation.
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But if you do discern, I want to
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engage with this person's ideas and I want
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to persuade them of something, then the scripture
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is also really clear, particularly the Proverbs 25,
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15, that gentleness helps with persuasion.
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And I have found this to be true
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in my life over and over and over
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again.
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If somebody is expecting you to get in
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their face about something and instead you have
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a gentle response and you're able to kind
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of paraphrase back to them what they just
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said to you and you're able to say,
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hey, if I understand what you're saying, this
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is what you're saying, do I have that
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right?
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And then you're able to say like, wow,
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I can see why this matters to you.
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I can see that this is something you're
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passionate about.
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If you're able to to love people in
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the moment, to recognize them, to validate their
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feelings, even if you don't agree with their
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ideas, to make it clear that you're actually
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listening to their ideas and that you're understanding
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them and tracking with them, it's incredible how
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much people are suddenly willing to hear anything
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from you at that point.
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You could argue a point that's in direct
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opposition to everything they've just communicated to you,
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but if you have communicated with a gentle
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spirit, people will be open to hearing what
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you say.
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It's incredible.
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It's like the jujitsu trick of persuasion, just
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gentleness, loving the other person, listening to what
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they say, that opens the door so that
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you can present an alternative view.
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Because so often people are used to just
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defending themselves.
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Our ideas and our sense of identity can
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be so wrapped up together that we angrily
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defend our ideas because that's how we feel
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like we're defending our sense of self.
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When we recognize that the person in front
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of us affirms us, validates us as a
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human being with their gentleness, it's like we
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can breathe a sigh of relief.
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Like, oh, I'm safe.
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I'm a human being here.
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I don't have to defend myself.
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Oh, now we can talk about ideas and
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it's actually okay to disagree.
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Okay, okay.
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So first thing, gentleness is our default option.
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Second thing, gentleness helps us when we're trying
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to persuade.
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Third thing, gentleness helps us and lets us
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be persuaded.
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So in our last couple episodes, first we
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talked about prayerful, then we talked about thoughtful,
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now we're talking about gentle.
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And we talked a little bit about off
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-the-spot and on-the-spot training, right?
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So you've got to do your prayer time,
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not necessarily in the moment when you're having
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a political conversation with somebody, but make time.
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Be a disciplined person who has time for
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prayer in your weekly schedule so that when
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the moment comes you're ready to be prayerful
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in that moment.
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Same thing with thoughtful.
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You can't do all of your political thinking
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in the moment when you're having a conversation
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with someone.
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You got to be taking that time in
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as much as it makes sense with your
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personality and the way your mind and the
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way God created you works to read the
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newspaper, to understand what's going on in our
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society, to integrate that with your faith, to
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consider the questions in all of their complexity,
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and then to be ready to respond to
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someone else if they ask a question about
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those things.
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So those are the off-the-spot things.
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We're doing a lot of prayerful work off
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the spot.
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We're doing a lot of thoughtful work off
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the spot, but then gentle is on the
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spot.
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Gentle is when you're actually engaging somebody in
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conversation, but because you're engaging somebody in a
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prayerful and a thoughtful way because of your
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off-the-spot training, that also means you're
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engaging somebody with openness to being persuaded.
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If you go into a conversation believing, I
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will not change anything I think as a
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result of this conversation, then you're not dealing
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in good faith with the other person because
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if you're seeking to persuade the other person,
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you believe that they're a human being who
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is intelligent and who could consider something new
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and who could change their views because of
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considering something new.
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And you should believe that same thing about
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yourself if you're going to engage with that
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other person in good faith.
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So often when we think about politics it's
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so combative.
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It's like we think of who won a
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debate.
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But why are we framing this as a
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debate rather than a joint inquiry into truth?
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That's another Dallas Willardism.
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Dallas would refuse to debate people, for example,
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on the subject of the existence of God,
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not necessarily politics but other philosophical questions.
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But he said, but I am open to
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a joint inquiry into truth.
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If we engage other people in a spirit
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of gentleness and a spirit of openness to
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learning and growing ourselves, then we'll see fruit
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not only in their lives but also in
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ours as our views become more refined, more
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thoughtful, hopefully more prayerful over time, and always
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gentle.
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Lord Jesus, thank you that you show us
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how to be gentle.
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Give us your clarity in our thinking and
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your comfort in our feeling that we would
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be able to minister your spirit of gentleness
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consistently and even in moments of conflict.
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Jesus, do your work in us as we
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do our work with you.
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Thanks for listening.
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