Latest / Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate / 3. Sleeping on the Wet Spot w/ Whitney Cicero (@TheNewStepford)

Transcript

3. Sleeping on the Wet Spot w/ Whitney Cicero (@TheNewStepford) · Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate

0:00
SPEAKER_02: I don't know how many of you have had sexual relations with your dad.
0:04
SPEAKER_02: Some dads just give the talk.
0:06
SPEAKER_02: Some dads just do the sex talk.
0:08
SPEAKER_02: My dad did the demonstration.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: He was nonverbal.
0:14
SPEAKER_05: That's not the birds and the bees.
0:16
SPEAKER_05: What's it called?
0:17
SPEAKER_02: It's get on your knees.
0:20
SPEAKER_04: It's not the birds and the bees.
0:21
SPEAKER_04: It's called get on your knees.
0:22
SPEAKER_04: Get on your knees.
0:23
SPEAKER_04: Here's how you do it.
0:24
SPEAKER_02: You were a visual learner, so he really was trying to help you, actually.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: He was trying to help me.
0:28
SPEAKER_02: He was drunk.
0:28
SPEAKER_02: It was hard to talk.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
0:30
SPEAKER_02: You can't blame a guy.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: No, you can't blame him.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: I don't blame him.
0:33
SPEAKER_02: I have since actually grown to uh but what were you wearing, Andrea?
0:37
SPEAKER_02: That's the point.
0:38
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: Braces.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
0:41
SPEAKER_02: So that's good though.
0:42
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Damage good.
0:47
SPEAKER_02: So welcome back to this podcast.
0:51
SPEAKER_02: We're not sure about the name yet.
0:52
SPEAKER_02: We're not sure about the name, but I do know my name, and my name's Andrea Abbott.
0:57
SPEAKER_02: And this is my producer, Alex Dufont, the great, fantastic.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: And our special guest, Alex.
1:05
SPEAKER_02: We have never had a guest before.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: Not at all.
1:07
SPEAKER_02: It's our first one.
1:08
SPEAKER_02: And you know what's great about this guest?
1:10
SPEAKER_02: You introduced her to me.
1:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:13
SPEAKER_02: I'm the reason you're friends.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: You are the only reason we're friends.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't know her from Adam.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: Or Eve.
1:19
SPEAKER_07: And I remember he said to me, You're really gonna like her.
1:22
SPEAKER_07: You guys are gonna be really good friends.
1:24
SPEAKER_07: And after that first night and your first two jokes, I'm like, ugh.
1:27
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you guys both have like a really dark humor and stuff, so I knew you guys would be boys.
1:32
SPEAKER_07: You know, my nephews call you lips.
1:35
SPEAKER_07: Oh, the little nine and ten year olds lips.
1:38
SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
1:38
SPEAKER_07: Because she came to our Fourth of July barbecue, and they're like, Who is lips?
1:42
SPEAKER_07: I'm like, oh she's a really good friend of mine.
1:43
SPEAKER_07: And then for my birthday, they're like, is Lips coming?
1:45
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: That's so funny.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: Lips.
1:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: That's funny.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: That could be a good name.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: For your podcast, lips.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Lips, low-key lips.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: Um, but anyway, yeah, we're trying to find a name, you guys.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: We're trying to find a name.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: It needs to show that we have a dark sense of humor.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: There are dark things that we've all been through, but it's funny and also inspirational because I've come scathed, unscathed through the valley of death.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
2:11
SPEAKER_07: I have a question.
2:12
SPEAKER_07: What didn't you have something called the wet spot?
2:14
SPEAKER_02: That is my memoir.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: That's a childhood memoir.
2:17
SPEAKER_07: Why why not apply that to this and just continue the brand across the platforms?
2:22
SPEAKER_07: I think wet spot's hilarious.
2:25
SPEAKER_02: Alex.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
2:26
SPEAKER_04: I like that too.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: But the wet spot isn't that sexual.
2:30
SPEAKER_02: It was called Sleeping on the Wet Spot, a childhood memoir.
2:34
SPEAKER_05: So yeah, it's so funny.
2:36
SPEAKER_05: And then you call the podcast the wet spot.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
2:42
SPEAKER_05: That's a great idea.
2:43
SPEAKER_05: That's a great idea.
2:44
SPEAKER_05: That's a great idea.
2:44
SPEAKER_05: I think Whitney kind of um a lot of good options, to be honest.
2:50
SPEAKER_02: So, but you like okay, the wet spot.
2:52
SPEAKER_05: One of your earliest jokes is the punchline, like the wet spot.
2:56
SPEAKER_05: One of your earliest jokes I could tell.
2:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:58
SPEAKER_02: And shall I tell it for people now?
3:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, tell it, yeah.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, just I don't know how many of you have had sexual relations with your dad.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Some dads just give the talk.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: Some dads just do the sex talk.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: My dad did the demonstration.
3:14
SPEAKER_02: He was non-verbal.
3:15
SPEAKER_05: That's not the birds and the bees.
3:16
SPEAKER_05: What's it called?
3:18
SPEAKER_02: It's get on your knees.
3:20
SPEAKER_04: It's not the birds and the bees.
3:22
SPEAKER_04: It's called get on your knees.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: Get on your knees.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: Here's how you do it.
3:24
SPEAKER_07: You were a visual learner, so he really was trying to help me.
3:27
SPEAKER_02: He was trying to help me.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: He was drunk.
3:29
SPEAKER_02: It was hard to talk.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
3:31
SPEAKER_02: You can't blame a guy.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: No, you can't blame him.
3:33
SPEAKER_02: I don't blame him.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: I have since actually grown to uh but what were you wearing, Andrea?
3:38
SPEAKER_02: That's the point.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: Braces.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: So that's your fault.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
3:45
SPEAKER_07: But um She had the little one with the butt flap that you could take down.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I did have one of those, but I was 10 at this point, so I I had moved on to um like uh little house in the prairie nightgowns, yeah, with the little blue um bonnets on it or the little pink flap.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: Still my fault, obviously.
4:04
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: I peaked it down.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: No, you know what?
4:10
SPEAKER_02: He used to call you lips.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: He called me lips.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's been my name forever.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: But he wasn't talking about my mouth.
4:17
SPEAKER_02: Thank you, ladies.
4:17
SPEAKER_07: Okay, well, my nickname in high school was Nellie Olson because I looked a lot like Nellie Olson.
4:23
SPEAKER_07: I don't know who that is.
4:24
SPEAKER_07: From Little House on the Prairie.
4:25
SPEAKER_07: There was Laura Ingalls and Nellie Olson, and Nelly was the bitch.
4:28
unknown: Oh.
4:28
SPEAKER_07: And they would make me go around and be like, there's no gumballs for you, Laura Ingalls.
4:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay, wow.
4:33
SPEAKER_02: I don't I didn't.
4:34
SPEAKER_07: That's a deep cut.
4:35
SPEAKER_07: That's a deep cut.
4:36
SPEAKER_07: It's a deep little house on the cut.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: That's a 45-year-old Little House on the Prairie cut for our 18-year-old listeners.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: That's fantastic.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: But thank you.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: You're welcome.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: Did you get called something from Little House on the Prairie, Alex?
4:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they call me Old Yeller.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Old Yeller.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that was a sad.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: I remember.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: Did you watch that?
4:56
SPEAKER_02: Uh no.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: No.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: You just know that reference?
4:59
SPEAKER_03: Old Yeller, yes, everyone just kind of knows.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
5:02
SPEAKER_07: I like we're completely fine with father incest rate, but the dog we're like, oh.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: No, listen, why I'm fine.
5:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be inspirational now.
5:13
SPEAKER_02: Okay?
5:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:13
SPEAKER_02: Cut to inspirational tidbit sound bite.
5:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: The reason I'm fine with it is I worked through it.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: And I worked through it in a way that you could do at home, partially.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: And that is I opened my big mouth and talked about it.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: My dad had sworn me to secrecy.
5:32
SPEAKER_02: And um, and then you know, that's when I was living at home, and he was like, it's gonna be upsetting to your mom.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: Really, you think?
5:40
SPEAKER_02: You're so considerate.
5:42
SPEAKER_02: He's so considerate, Wanting to save her feelings.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: Like, Dad, you know what I mean?
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: Um, but but um later on, I still remain keeping it a secret, kind of, and it's like, have you ever heard a noise and you start running with a friend, like when you were a kid, and then you got afraid while you're running?
6:04
SPEAKER_02: The running away makes you afraid.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: The secrets make you ashamed.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: The secrets just by being secretive and kind of pussy footing around.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: That's kind of funny, pussyfooting.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: That's really fallen out of the vernacular.
6:18
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, just kind of going around and not saying something and looking.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: You are now keeping a secret.
6:24
SPEAKER_02: Why?
6:24
SPEAKER_02: Are you ashamed of it?
6:26
SPEAKER_02: Maybe a little, but me talking about it kind of released it.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: I also got uh I did a lot of classes to help me have empathy and gratitude for people in my life and not to just look at their bad things.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: And um, there was this great black lawyer.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: If any of you guys know it, he represented men on death row.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: Okay, and and Michael B.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: Jordan, I believe, played him.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: It might have been someone else.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it was so good.
6:54
SPEAKER_02: And that real lawyer, it was from a real book, and that real lawyer said something like this, and I think I'm quoting him exactly you are not the you are more than the worst thing you've ever done.
7:05
SPEAKER_02: And I'm that's tying back into you might have done a lot of bad things, but you're more than that.
7:12
SPEAKER_02: And that is what I got from the classes I did.
7:15
SPEAKER_02: That my dad was more than just a pedophile.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: He was I don't go.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: Do you call him a pedophile?
7:22
SPEAKER_02: If you're having okay, a pedophile.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: Uh he is more than an alcoholic, he's also a drug addict.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: No, but he had some good qualities.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: He was a hard worker, we weren't poor.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: That accounts for something.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh he was uh a person that didn't give you any sympathy.
7:44
SPEAKER_02: That is helpful because you you we he got us motorcycles, and when we ever crashed our motorcycles, he would walk it off, walk it off.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: He was like, not there's no crying in this in baseball, you know what I mean?
7:56
SPEAKER_02: And I am very happy about that.
7:58
SPEAKER_02: And also when I got to go to college a couple years earlier than I uh than you normally would, he was the one that let me go away to UCLA by myself, and he said, I think you have a good head on your shoulders.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: And and uh I think you give a good head.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: No, he didn't say that.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: He said, I think you have a good head on your shoulders.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: And if something sounds like a if something's if you're confused about something, just sleep on it.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: If it looks like it's a good idea the next day, then do it.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: And my mom was just like, oh my god, she's gonna go out there and be raped, and she's still you know, she didn't know what was happening.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: She's gonna go out there, and I was like, please let me go out there.
8:36
SPEAKER_04: That was her biggest fear.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh my mom was very worried about that.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: But was my dad who let me go away to college and go out the front door and go with this with the new car, Camaro 19, whatever it was, but it was cute.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: It was blue and had a white leather top and white leather interior and a stick shift.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: If that wasn't hot, it was really cool.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: And um, so I'm not saying you could buy me off, but I kind of am, right?
9:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying my dad was a hard worker, had five kids, wasn't cut out to be a dad, had a drinking problem, and some sexual predilections that weren't great.
9:12
SPEAKER_07: Well, let me let me compliment you on your evolution on that, because I think you probably actually had to do a lot of work to get there.
9:19
SPEAKER_07: And honest work and a lot of crying.
9:23
SPEAKER_07: What do you recommend for people though that still look at my skin?
9:26
SPEAKER_07: No, that aren't into that forgiveness.
9:29
SPEAKER_07: Like you seem to have come to a forgiveness stage.
9:31
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, but I hear the story about your dad and I want to fucking murder him.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, my dad did get murdered.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: I have an alibi, it wasn't me.
9:38
SPEAKER_02: No, but my dad did get murdered.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: So he, you know, he had that karma.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: It worked uh from other things.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: But I had forgiveness by the fact of like, look, if someone's done five bad things to you, or let's say ten, I think I got this from a Robert uh, what's his name?
9:53
SPEAKER_02: Robin Williams movie.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: When he was a clown, he was a clown for sick kids in that movie.
9:58
SPEAKER_02: Do you remember?
10:00
SPEAKER_02: Patch well, I mean my god, you're a walking Google.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Patch! Did you watch Patch?
10:05
SPEAKER_02: No.
10:07
SPEAKER_05: Before my time.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Yes, Alex.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: So young.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: He's so cute, he's wonderful.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, he said it's hard to see something like it's hard to see life when you have ten fingers in front of your face.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: So what I took from that is my dad did uh 10 20 bad things, 10 20 30 bad things.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: Okay, he also did a lot of good things.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: But if I'm looking at him through this, I'm mostly seeing this.
10:35
SPEAKER_02: Uh and these classes helped me put those fingers away so I could just see him.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I had a lot of problems.
10:42
SPEAKER_05: Well, you've just for the audience, you've become a very successful screenwriter, stand-up comic, you're always building stuff.
10:51
SPEAKER_05: You're always open to help people.
10:52
SPEAKER_05: Yes, I like help.
10:53
SPEAKER_05: So I think from knowing you as a friend, the ability to look at the positive, forgive, keeps you sane and keeps you moving forward and only helps you.
11:02
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
11:03
SPEAKER_05: And I hold on to grudges with people way less than what your dad did to you.
11:07
SPEAKER_05: So it's an inspiration to me to like learn your story and just talk to you about this.
11:12
SPEAKER_05: If you're able to forgive that kind of stuff, I should be able to forgive the minor things someone did to me.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: Damage goods.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: This is Whitney.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: Cis how do I say your last name?
11:23
SPEAKER_02: Cicero.
11:24
SPEAKER_02: Cicero.
11:25
SPEAKER_02: Like when the movie.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: Lipshits.
11:29
unknown: Cicero.
11:29
SPEAKER_02: Lipshits, that could be my name.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: We could be lips and cicero.
11:36
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, we're half we're halfway to the the block tango in Chicago.
11:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so yeah.
11:42
SPEAKER_07: Um, can I can I ask you like maybe this?
11:45
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I mean we want to ask you a question because I'm the host, but yes, please.
11:48
SPEAKER_07: Well, so this might be a future segment called Was I Molested.
11:51
SPEAKER_07: Oh, yes.
11:53
SPEAKER_05: It should be every week.
11:54
SPEAKER_05: Was I molested?
11:55
SPEAKER_05: That's such a great so funny.
11:57
SPEAKER_07: So here's my question: Was I molested?
11:58
SPEAKER_07: Um, I had a boyfriend.
12:01
SPEAKER_07: I was 13, he was 14.
12:03
SPEAKER_07: Perfectly fine.
12:05
SPEAKER_07: Right.
12:05
SPEAKER_07: And his dad would have to drive me home.
12:07
SPEAKER_07: I'd spend the day with my boyfriend.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
12:09
SPEAKER_07: And here comes the dad.
12:11
SPEAKER_02: I've money's on the dad.
12:12
SPEAKER_07: The boyfriend would want me to give him a blow job on the way home, which was with the dad driving.
12:18
SPEAKER_07: With the dad driving.
12:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
12:20
SPEAKER_02: Dad you give him blowjobs without the dad's present.
12:24
SPEAKER_07: Oh yeah.
12:24
SPEAKER_07: That's what was that was what we were doing at 13 and 14.
12:27
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
12:28
SPEAKER_07: And I remember discussing this with my therapist once, and she's like, Whitney, yeah.
12:34
SPEAKER_07: That he just goes, you've driven?
12:37
SPEAKER_07: How hard is it?
12:38
SPEAKER_07: He that dad knew exactly what was going on.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: But did you blow him while the dad was driving?
12:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:44
SPEAKER_07: Almost every time he drove me home.
12:46
SPEAKER_07: Oh.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: Drive home.
12:49
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: So did your guy make noise?
12:54
SPEAKER_02: No, he's very silent.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: Pretty quiet about it.
12:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, I feel like you're I would say I would say the dad's like a cuck.
13:05
SPEAKER_02: But I don't think you're molested.
13:07
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't, because you agreed to do that.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: And that was your boyfriend, and you're already blowing him without the dad there.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: You know, Alex wants to drive us home.
13:21
SPEAKER_02: He offered to drive us back.
13:24
SPEAKER_02: But I would say in the backseat, yes.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
13:28
SPEAKER_02: Um I don't know.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: What do you I mean, it's really not for others to say, do you feel you were molested?
13:35
SPEAKER_02: Do you have like a twitch reaction?
13:38
SPEAKER_07: I think at 13, being forced to do things you're not really comfortable doing, because I was never really comfortable doing it.
13:46
SPEAKER_07: But my boyfriend.
13:47
SPEAKER_02: You were forced.
13:48
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
13:49
SPEAKER_07: Pretty much.
13:50
SPEAKER_07: Oh, okay.
13:51
SPEAKER_07: And um and that the dad, I mean, this was a common enough occurrence where if the dad knew it was happening, why wasn't there a conversation with his son?
14:02
SPEAKER_07: Like that's not appropriate.
14:03
SPEAKER_07: Like the fact that the dad just pretended that he did.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: Did the mom ever drive you?
14:09
SPEAKER_02: Was it always the dad?
14:10
SPEAKER_07: I think the mom might have driven us home as well.
14:12
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
14:12
SPEAKER_07: So I mean there was something really But maybe they're not noticing.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: Maybe they're not noticing.
14:18
SPEAKER_02: Because look, I don't go like this ever when I'm driving my kids, and you can look in the thing and you don't see I don't know.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: Be honest.
14:26
SPEAKER_07: But if one had one head's in somebody else's lap the whole time, you think that's it.
14:30
SPEAKER_02: But how do you know that?
14:33
SPEAKER_02: I know, but how would I know that?
14:34
SPEAKER_02: I just don't see your head.
14:35
SPEAKER_07: So okay, so your defense is maybe the dad didn't know.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: And nor the if the dad and the mom are both there and it's happening, I I would say no.
14:44
SPEAKER_05: You have every you have every right to feel weird about it.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: It's weird.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: 1000%.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: I feel like weird.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: It goes into the category of weird.
14:50
SPEAKER_05: And I just like that freaking sucks.
14:53
SPEAKER_05: Especially that age group.
14:54
SPEAKER_05: That blows.
14:56
SPEAKER_02: Are you driving only at night?
14:58
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
14:59
SPEAKER_07: So it's nighttime drive.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: I think it was an innocent car ride.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: Not even, dude.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: That's very creepy.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: How long did you go out with that guy?
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh, the long time.
15:10
SPEAKER_07: Like well, it was like off and on.
15:13
SPEAKER_07: We get dated when we were in high school, and then he became a bipolar manic depressive and stalked me and was very abusive.
15:19
SPEAKER_07: Like he never hit me, but I have you've you've been in abusive relationships, right?
15:25
SPEAKER_07: I think we all have.
15:26
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: I mean who hasn't been hit.
15:28
SPEAKER_07: He would shake me really hard and and put me up against a wall, and then he would get icily calm.
15:34
SPEAKER_07: And I'm like, he's not gonna hit me when he's mad.
15:37
SPEAKER_07: He's gonna hit me when he goes into this weird place.
15:41
SPEAKER_07: He goes where he's super calm.
15:43
SPEAKER_07: And I was like, I think it's time to get out of this relationship.
15:47
SPEAKER_02: So you dated when you were 13, you dated in high school.
15:50
SPEAKER_07: We dated in high school, then he went to a different high school.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: But you weren't but 13 is not high school.
15:54
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I was eighth grade, he was a freshman.
15:56
SPEAKER_07: And then we got back together after he went to college, and I was graduating from college at UCLA.
16:03
SPEAKER_02: Wow, so you so he must have been really cute though.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: What are you getting?
16:07
SPEAKER_02: He wasn't even cute.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: Well, no, he was going to my dad was handsome.
16:10
SPEAKER_02: I want to know.
16:11
SPEAKER_07: He was very very no, he was tall and handsome and he could sing and he was going to yell law school, like on paper, a really like oh catch.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: But where is he now?
16:25
SPEAKER_02: Is what I want to know.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: We I have a lot of single friends that would like to date a guy who could sing went to Yale, obviously has good relationships with his family.
16:40
SPEAKER_07: I keep secrets really close.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm sorry that that happened to you.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry that you had your attention stuck on it.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: That's the main thing, is if your attention sticks on something or not, right?
16:51
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
16:52
SPEAKER_07: The shame to your point, like I carry that shame with me.
16:55
SPEAKER_07: Oh, you did, and didn't tell anyone for 20 years.
16:59
SPEAKER_07: Wow.
16:59
SPEAKER_07: And it wasn't until like a therapy session where you you talk, you unpack things where I finally was like, Well, this kind of happened to me, and my therapist was like, Jesus Christ, that's fucked up.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: And then you now you talk about it a lot.
17:12
SPEAKER_07: No, actually, you're probably the only second or third person I've ever talked about it with.
17:16
SPEAKER_07: Just because it is it's again, it didn't happen, like it wasn't my fault, but it did happen to me, and I carry that shame of it.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: I understand, but shame be gone.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had a spray that I guess like stains be gone.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: What is that?
17:32
SPEAKER_02: What is that one that takes out a stain?
17:35
SPEAKER_02: Shout.
17:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:36
SPEAKER_02: You should be like, was I molested, and then you can have your.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, you but but you know what?
17:43
SPEAKER_02: There's people let's just look at all the positives of that guy.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of positives, and there's a lot of positives about you.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: And okay, that happened, and thank you for telling me about it.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: And I bet you if you had told more people, you would hear more stories about people that had very similar situations, whether there was a parent involved or not.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: It's just doing things they felt uncomfortable about doing.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
18:10
SPEAKER_02: Have you do you have something that you wonder if you were molested?
18:14
SPEAKER_05: I think everyone born before 1980 was molested.
18:18
SPEAKER_05: Everyone born between 1980 was molested, I think.
18:21
SPEAKER_05: 60s, 70s.
18:23
SPEAKER_05: I think like I think not molesting kids is like a new thing.
18:26
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
18:27
SPEAKER_05: Honestly, I think that's a new thing in a trend.
18:30
SPEAKER_07: And you know what?
18:30
SPEAKER_07: I don't think it's because we've evolved cellularly or evolutionary.
18:33
SPEAKER_07: I think there's more cameras.
18:35
SPEAKER_07: I don't think the actual instinct got it.
18:37
SPEAKER_05: I just think there's just more, there's more cameras for watching people, so you don't get it.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and yeah, exactly.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: And also, um, you know, uh domestic violence or domestic police did not used to handle domestic calls.
18:54
SPEAKER_02: So if you did call the police, we didn't even have 911 till like 86 in my town.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: Uh if you called the police, they would say we don't handle domestic disputes.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: No, because if the father was he's the king of the castle.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: You owned your castle.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: You could do that.
19:12
SPEAKER_07: Like, calm down.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: Calm down, yeah.
19:16
SPEAKER_07: Exactly.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: Now, did your dad ever beat you, Alex?
19:20
SPEAKER_05: He never beat me, but he went.
19:22
SPEAKER_05: I think he did the right thing.
19:24
SPEAKER_05: He like scared me.
19:26
SPEAKER_05: He showed because my dad's a Vietnam vet.
19:28
SPEAKER_05: That's out of high school in Vietnam.
19:30
SPEAKER_05: So he was dealing with that, but when I was mathing off to him, he made it known that he could fuck me up.
19:36
SPEAKER_05: He he's the best cursor I have ever seen.
19:40
unknown: Wow.
19:40
SPEAKER_05: It's like playing basketball against Jordan.
19:42
SPEAKER_05: He would say shit to me, and I would just stand there, like just in amazement.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: And you're probably taller than him by that time.
19:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, way taller.
19:48
SPEAKER_05: And I was just standing there like in amazement.
19:49
SPEAKER_05: I can't believe you put those two words together.
19:51
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
19:52
SPEAKER_05: He always called me ass eyes.
19:54
SPEAKER_05: And I was like, ass eyes?
19:56
SPEAKER_05: That's like the best.
19:57
SPEAKER_05: How do you think What was his threat?
20:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, what was a threat?
20:03
SPEAKER_05: He just went crazy.
20:04
SPEAKER_05: I see.
20:05
SPEAKER_05: He just went insane.
20:06
SPEAKER_05: I see.
20:06
SPEAKER_05: And he took me and he tried to move me by the time I was really big, but like he showed me that he could.
20:14
SPEAKER_05: I will go all out.
20:15
SPEAKER_05: He's been he worked for the city of LA as an electrician for 30, 30, 40 years.
20:20
SPEAKER_05: So like he had that man strength.
20:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
20:22
SPEAKER_05: Of just manual labor, bending, picking up stuff.
20:25
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
20:25
SPEAKER_05: So he could just go like this and he had that.
20:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
20:28
SPEAKER_05: So I think he did a good job.
20:30
SPEAKER_05: He like he never hit me, but he made it known that he could if he wanted to.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: Okay, and it kept you in check.
20:35
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I was like, again, the the way he cursed was brilliant.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: Ass eyes.
20:39
SPEAKER_02: He called me ass eyes.
20:40
SPEAKER_02: I was like, that's you know, that is another potential name.
20:43
SPEAKER_02: This could be lips and ass eyes.
20:45
SPEAKER_03: Lips and ass eyes.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: Ass eyes.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: No one has ever called me that.
20:51
SPEAKER_02: Um, and you're did you get hit?
20:53
SPEAKER_02: No.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
20:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm odd man out on this.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Really?
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Not with a paddle or a belt or not just hands, but anything.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: Okay, well then I won't.
21:05
SPEAKER_07: Sorry, what a boring guest.
21:07
SPEAKER_07: I just have blowjobs in the back seat.
21:09
SPEAKER_07: That's all I can offer you.
21:12
SPEAKER_02: I am a person that does not like blowjobs.
21:16
SPEAKER_02: I don't like give, I'm not a giver of them.
21:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I will hit you, but no.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: I had when you said that's what you're doing at 13 and 14.
21:25
SPEAKER_02: Again, here's something I can thank my father for.
21:27
SPEAKER_02: Because I was so shut down because of what happened to me, I wasn't going out with any boys.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: I think I had my first boyfriend at 15.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: I was in and 15 to 16, and he would have to tell me, We I'm going to put my I couldn't be like, oh I'd be like, huh.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: And I wore those turtlenecks.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you ever wore them, that snap down here.
21:53
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, with the half boots and the little black backpack.
21:55
SPEAKER_07: Come on.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and but under, but I would wear that, and then I would.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: wear a vest and I would wear pants.
22:02
SPEAKER_02: Like there's no way you're getting into any part of me.
22:05
SPEAKER_02: And the boots and the backpack.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: I was like covered and so you couldn't touch me by accident.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: He tried to get me smoke pot, which and weed.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: He tried to get me stone.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: That only made me freak out more about like I would cut sometimes be like that.
22:21
SPEAKER_02: You know, I'd be like, uh get me drunk.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: That didn't work.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: Finally, you know what finally worked when we finally had sex?
22:29
SPEAKER_02: He found a book in the library.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: Shout out to libraries.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: I think they're they're going any minute now that talked about I don't I don't remember the name of it, but he showed me a page that he had found to show me that blue balls is what men get if they are uh have no release and that it is a very harmful condition.
22:52
SPEAKER_05: That's the that is still being used today.
22:55
SPEAKER_05: Is it?
22:56
SPEAKER_05: That's still a real thing.
22:57
SPEAKER_05: That's so funny.
22:58
SPEAKER_02: I read that and I thought oh my God I've hurt him like I need to correct this.
23:04
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
23:04
SPEAKER_02: I took my clothes off and laid on the floor and in that romantic situation because I had the lights had to all be on and it was daytime.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah because it can't be anything like with me and dad it can't be night it can't be in a bed secret can't be no beds no nighttime no anything I gotta see you see what you're doing.
23:23
SPEAKER_02: I laid on the carpet wow and uh we did it and uh that was it he pulled off the blue balls reduced he bought it he got a book he got a book in the library it had a paragraph about it I I didn't know all the words but it felt like it could be fatal like you know what this is this is a serious condition.
23:45
SPEAKER_05: That shit's so fake too it's so funny.
23:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah let me ask you it's it what happens what is it there's no such thing as blue balls I mean it's like it feels weird but it's not gonna explode your nuts.
23:55
SPEAKER_05: Dudes use it to get pussy so it's like such like I mean young dudes like if if you're an adult obviously but like teens and early 20s yeah you're pulling that shit out.
24:05
SPEAKER_05: Blue balls anything to get you're pulling it and then like some nice girls like okay for your health like yes it's the most fucked up shit ever dude but it's crazy.
24:14
SPEAKER_05: It's it's what as like in a obviously a man in his 30s I look at that like oh my God it's fucking weird man.
24:21
SPEAKER_02: But you know again comment or write in if you've used blue balls successfully or unsuccessfully or if you've been blue balled.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: What I what I like about what I like about that story is he probably went to his friends like yeah she threw me some pussy but what he did was like babe like if you don't do this and you're like okay like you were doing you were doing in the favor of life how I felt I felt like Florence Nightingale I was like I am helping him right now and it wasn't so bad because it wasn't dark and we weren't in a bed and it was daytime and we had to go quickly which he had no problem because his family was at the beach and could be walking back up all teenage sexes hurry up hurry up your parents are gonna be home like but what but to my dad to my point I wasn't having any 13 year old or 14 year old or I it took a lot at 16 to talk me into that because I was so shut down.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: So my dad in a way you know helped me not get passed around like you were the whore that I was I was a whore but later you know what I mean but not at 1314.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: You have learned something Whitney from Andrea Yeah I mean don't you wish your dad would have gone the extra extra mile to help you seriously maybe you had a stronger father figure in your life he was so selfish to not I mean and he even hit you either I mean did he care my dad had a paddle but my dad blew his head off oh that's right so whoa you know at what age but later two years ago oh dude you should fucking be over that by now no two years ago he's joking I don't mean but two I am actually but they I am I'm okay with it because her dad was sick yeah he was really sick yeah tell people about it so they can just know he had he had Parkinson's and we I know you and I think have talked about this but yeah that what doesn't anger me about it is he was given medical aid in Diane.
26:26
SPEAKER_07: He was given let's go to New Mexico he was given every opportunity to die to die peacefully with the pills and the cocktail we'll fly you to Switzerland surrounded by your family.
26:36
SPEAKER_07: He did not want to do it because of cost.
26:38
SPEAKER_07: Yeah because that's very manly he didn't want to put he does he wants to leave money to you doesn't want to take money and even though like we dad we'll pay for it it was only like 10 grand again he goes I don't want you to pay for it.
26:49
SPEAKER_02: He don't want to be a burden though it's a good man.
26:53
SPEAKER_02: Good that's what he is a good manner there.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: So you so then so then he just shot himself.
26:59
SPEAKER_02: He did that's very manly again that is the manly way to go.
27:03
SPEAKER_02: Most men do shoot themselves.
27:04
SPEAKER_07: Well you know what there's a club and there's like seven of us in it just in my friend group of dads that we shot themselves.
27:11
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
27:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh wow so I'm 56 um you know so we're all Gen X and yeah I I have six seven friends wow and yet your dad is living just barely barely refuses to shoot himself refuses we hope fingers crossed and my dad was murdered so how did I get murdered oh it's a long story but anyway someone took him out he went out again in a manly way if my dad could have picked to death I think he'd rather have been shot by a murder but he didn't get actually shot but it's very macho you know what I mean uh it's not like oh I would he when my dad and I would go out to dinner or something or lunch we would go motorcycle riding our whole family would go motorcycle riding and after that we would stop and eat at a place mostly drink at a place but I didn't drink he would drink and I would eat and he'd look at people look at those guys over there look at that he would be scoffing at two older people they've got nothing to talk about.
28:07
SPEAKER_02: Doesn't that look like that look that's he he he didn't want to have anything to do with it.
28:15
SPEAKER_02: He looked at down on them like look at them they can't eat anything on the menu they have nothing to talk about.
28:21
SPEAKER_02: God that's horrible oh he's talking about old people old people and he didn't get old my dad was 49 almost 50 when he was out you know taken out taken out well maybe that's another podcast um how did your dad die should people there's so many podcasts so low so many little podcasts that you were birthing out of molested as fuck AF not ohested AF AF yes we don't swear on his podcast yes yes but they're dirty podcast no no no incest and suicide only please yeah come on and beatings damage goods my mom used to measure my body like we she loved the uh what is that show that was on once a year Miss America and so they would mention the measurements of the people and then she would be there with a tape measure to measure us to see how we were holding up.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh this when I was little you know and I was you know not holding up because I was too skinny.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: And mom I she didn't tell me her measurements but I could see that she probably w was erring on the other side a little bit.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: So because she felt very much about being a certain tiny weight and so forth she taught me to diet when I was six uh you know to send me off to school with some good habits and uh we would burn our tongues in the morning on hot coffee so that our taste buds couldn't taste anything.
29:49
SPEAKER_02: And why am I bringing this up to you?
29:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh because I had an unrational fear like I'm sitting like this you guys I don't know if you can sit see this but I'm sitting with my legs down on the couch.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: I would never have done that because that might make your legs look fat.
30:06
SPEAKER_02: You have to sit with one leg up and not let them touch because one might spread out over the other one.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: And if you had a purse you got a purse that put on your yes that's how you need to see that's not I have to hold it up no you can touch there but don't touch your thighs there.
30:24
SPEAKER_07: That's how you sit exhausting.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: Just sit like that and you never put your and you don't carry a shoulder bag so that your arm doesn't go against your body so that your arm doesn't look fat.
30:36
SPEAKER_07: Now where did she learn these things?
30:37
SPEAKER_02: This is really interesting to me my mom was just a wealth of knowledge.
30:42
SPEAKER_02: Um my mom really uh uh adhered to the uh adage that looks are everything interesting looks are everything and you know you could have a good personality or be smart whatever but if you're not good looking no one will even talk to you to find out so she's not wrong she's not wrong if you uh she's always say if you don't watch your figure no one else will so I still sit like that I could never sit like that with you have your legs so nicely down and I still keep my arms a little bit from my body yes there's a gap you just can't tell from these pants yeah there is a gap I feel I have to use do core work yeah you need 100% you have to have core work.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: It is a core exercise it helps your core too it's it's 100% I'm losing you.
31:37
SPEAKER_02: Alright Alex I've got to help somebody besides Whitney I have one that applies to you guys.
31:42
SPEAKER_05: Okay what is it?
31:44
SPEAKER_05: It's regarding feeling ashamed they do outside of what's being acceptable as a woman.
31:49
SPEAKER_05: Okay you want to read it who is this from are they anonymous or yeah they're anonymous okay what is what is this person saying I think it applies to you guys really well it's um I feel ashamed when I do anything that's outside of what's being uh acceptable as a woman.
32:03
SPEAKER_05: This sounds small but it's a huge it's huge and it's stopped me in so many ways.
32:08
SPEAKER_05: For example, burping, farting not okay, being irritated, grumpy, short tempered, frustrated, angry all normal emotions but not allowed to have them.
32:17
SPEAKER_05: Having to downplay my intelligence and ambition because it's off putting I get legit ashamed if I fall outside of being pleasant and accommodating.
32:26
SPEAKER_05: I hate that I feel like I've I live uh done something wrong or when I know that I haven't.
32:33
SPEAKER_05: Having a contrarian opinion is wrong.
32:35
SPEAKER_05: When I get triggered I hide clean work harder and try to be more womanly wow wow that is a lot that's uh that's Lisa thank you Lisa for calling it yeah that's wonderful for sharing that for us you know um gosh that's a lot that that's a lot um I think a lot of people have it you think so absolutely and I I mean as a man too you know you feel like you try to have manly things you feel ashamed if you try you do something that's that's not manly that's not masculine or something like that.
33:07
SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh right so I think people put themselves in this box.
33:10
SPEAKER_02: In these boxes well maybe it's good that people are kind of going non-binary now because there's not not that box but I want to say this we are all so used to looking at what's wrong.
33:24
SPEAKER_02: You know what's wrong oh I have lipstick on my cheek what's wrong my hair what's wrong with my oh I have the wrong size shoe I have two brown a brown and a black shoe what's wrong we're asking we're we're kind of combing like a scanning for what is wrong what is wrong what is wrong and then we're doing it on ourselves but it I might be very helpful to you Lisa that um you look at what is right about you because you may think be contrarian you know I don't know that that's all that it's made up to be I don't know if you were expressing all your contrary views if you'd be so happy.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: If you may just I could reframe and say what you're doing is maybe finding alternative things uh to clean and cook and do things that you feel are productive rather than just getting in a fight with your husband or your child that is probably not going to go anywhere.
34:22
SPEAKER_02: And also it would be really great if you took all that time that you took putting into this survey which I appreciate and made all the things that write down all the things that are good about yourself.
34:36
SPEAKER_02: Because I bet there's a thousand and these pale in comparison to that you're hardworking and that you're loyal and that you're funny and that you're whatever a good cook and that you are dress well and that you're hygienic and a friend and you're conscientious and all of these things.
34:52
SPEAKER_07: Um do you guys do you guys feel this way kinda or is that not really no I don't know do you I don't know do you cook or clean no yeah it sucks that she feels this way and I'm not it well I this comes to me hating the patriarchy is that everything she's discussing is what the patriarchy thinks a woman should be.
35:17
SPEAKER_07: Everything she's saying is I'm contrarian I speak up I want to do things that are outside of what was defined to be the right kind of woman.
35:25
SPEAKER_07: Sure.
35:26
SPEAKER_07: Right?
35:26
SPEAKER_07: And so here's now I'm plugging myself so my channel's called the New Stepford because the Stepford wife is the perfect wife and I'm like dude we gotta rewrite that shit.
35:35
unknown: Right.
35:35
SPEAKER_07: We have got to redefine what it means to be a woman because we cannot go back into this you better cook you better clean you better be quiet be pregnant when I want you to be like all of that shit has got to go away.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: But at the same time I just want to say that men have the same problems.
35:52
SPEAKER_02: It's not just the patriarchy I'm not against the patriarchy no because the patriarchy defines what men are too like like Alex was saying guys feel bad if they feel we put ourselves in these boxes and in these cages and you know what this is what I learned from all my classes guess what these cages are made of thoughts you are confined by the thoughts that you think and the thoughts that you've agreed on and that is what our case like everything that happens before before it happens is a thought oh Whitney should come on here you are oh we should have a podcast here we are thoughts define thoughts precede actions thoughts sometimes are the cause of actions because we have this great thought and we go oh yeah I want to do that.
36:39
SPEAKER_02: So again when we're not being ourselves and when we're not doing what we want to do it's our own thoughts that are cramping our style or keeping us encaged and keeping us confined because we're the ones that agreed oh if I get a cat it's not manly.
36:58
SPEAKER_02: If I if I burp it's not womanly you know what I mean we need we agreed with it we agreed with that and made it our own and so I think still you should write a list of all the great things you are about yourself and not be so ready to agree with these thoughts that are negative and confining.
37:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah you're probably amazing Lisa and why don't you write that list and send in that survey just for fun write down some things about yourself and have some people tell you some good things about yourself and find out all the amazing attributes that you have.
37:32
SPEAKER_02: As that great lawyer said you are better than the worst thing you ever done and we're so harsh on ourselves and there's a way to dial that back and one of the ways is to actually spend time putting your attention on your positive things and if you can't think of any don't feel alone I've asked many people to do this and they don't think of them but then they ask their friends and their friends are like oh well you're this this this and this or their mom says you're this this their sister says this this and this where they didn't cut themselves any slack for that I get a lot of accolades from Alex and you I wouldn't be saying that about myself I wouldn't be thinking that about myself all I know is I'm very happy to be alive and I I really like helping people and I like comedy and I hope this comes across and of course I like a dark joke.
38:17
SPEAKER_02: Who doesn't love a rape joke?
38:19
SPEAKER_07: It's the best the abortion jokes and the rape jokes are the best right and suicide.
38:24
SPEAKER_02: Just that's like basically my act I know it's the trifecta it's the best but you didn't say murder that is my other one that I lean into murder okay yeah and I'm kind of proud that you know like of all the the guys who have murdered their wives you know that's such a big thing people murder their wives and I've got a solution for that too.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: Why do our vows, those vows that we recite in church every time we get married I can't wait to hear this.
38:51
SPEAKER_07: Till death to its part.
38:53
SPEAKER_02: In sickness and health all that guess when those vows were written 1594 they have not been updated since 1594.
39:01
SPEAKER_02: We need to get rid of that we I don't even think we should have vows.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: The word so that's why guys are killing their wives because there's no other way to get out it's till death to part so then they're like oh the word ow is right there in the vow the word vow it has ow in it and let's lose that just till we're bored till you gave V O W.
39:20
SPEAKER_02: Right so where's the U and the T Ow oh I thought you were saying out no ow ow we're getting hurt we're getting killed ow is in the word vow.
39:31
SPEAKER_06: Did you miss that as well?
39:34
SPEAKER_02: Kind of it's hard to listen with the lips the lips show you off so you know what they say put your money where your mouth is I do I believe that marriage should be a 10 year with with it it's 10 years and then you opt to renew.
39:46
SPEAKER_07: I like that why can't we have that if you have kids that's an automatic 10 year like renewable if you get kids you're it you're in for at least till that kid's out of high school but yeah after that I think you should absolutely be able to renew.
40:00
SPEAKER_07: Even after five years of the kids are out of college like do we still want this are we happy?
40:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah and it doesn't help but I used to pray that my dad and mom would get divorced and that my dad would marry my best friend's mom who all so he can molest her.
40:14
SPEAKER_02: No yes exactly and then her dad was kind of an odd bird but a handsome my dad was very handsome so my mom would accept him and he golfed like they would be perfect and then my dad could be with the the the lady and and then we'd be sisters oh we dreamed of that but be incessers incessers there we go in there somewhere but I mean I certainly have gotten divorced many times but in my defense none of them were the fathers of my kids so I had kids before I got married.
40:50
SPEAKER_02: I got married because I was pregnant by somebody I'm not sure.
40:53
SPEAKER_02: If you think you might have been pregnant in 1993 around the earthquake please write in um we could do a little DNA test.
41:02
SPEAKER_02: They're already very grown and successful so you don't need to there's no back child support owned.
41:07
SPEAKER_02: But so then I married one guy uh then that only lasted 11 hours then I married another guy I got a kid from him I was in there for seven years worse seven years of my life then I got divorced from him I got married to a guy for six months I would I would let you I would let you keep talking but we are close of time and I know this would be a really long story.
41:29
SPEAKER_05: No it is not like you got married once or twice.
41:32
SPEAKER_05: Yeah but you have a long long story and if we do it we're gonna start paying for it.
41:36
SPEAKER_02: Okay all I'm saying is we may have to close this up here well this was the fastest hour I've spent a really long time it was fun it was fun and don't you think Alex and I have good chemistry a hundred percent yeah I mean I let you guys talk you know I'm here I'm here to I'm here to get wisdom too being around Andrea inspires me to continue going forward so oh you guys I love you it's all good I love you so excited everybody out there please fill out our surveys we'd love to see if we can help you on this podcast and listen to it we're inspiring and uh you know funny but whatever you're going through you can get through it there is the other side and you are going to get through it I know that and you are stronger and more able than you think okay this is it goodbye Alex goodbye Whitney thank you for being on goodbye everybody damage good