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My Mom Would Be Disappointed · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: My mother would be disappointed in me. It's one more thing.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm strong and getty one more.
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  Speaker 2: That's a heavy, one more thing living knowing your mom
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  Speaker 2: would be disappointed in you again.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Again.
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  Speaker 1: So ah, I was I'm going to not be at
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  Speaker 1: work Maniana tomorrow. We were speaking these words on Wednesday,
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  Speaker 1: the thirteenth of May. I will be off tomorrow. I'm
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: playing in a golf tournament. And normally I'd be worried
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: about how I'm gonna play, a concerned, a little nervous
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  Speaker 1: how you are before a sports thingy. But all I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: worry about this time is not being injured, not aggravating
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: an injury I've got, which is I had a tear
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  Speaker 1: in some of the the muscles like the adductor that
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Al Gore used to like to get rubbed. It gets
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: near you crack, you know if you if you're gonna
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  Speaker 1: squeeze a basketball between your knees, that's your adductor's.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, And then you're why would I want to do that.
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  Speaker 2: So it doesn't fall to the ground obviously, yeah, And
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  Speaker 2: the hands are full of something else.
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  Speaker 1: Well clearly yeah. And then you got your ham strings,
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  Speaker 1: which is like the muscles of the back of your leg.
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  Speaker 1: And there's a couple in the one that's close to
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  Speaker 1: the adductor. So I strained the crap out of that one.
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  Speaker 1: A couple of muscles that's your interior hamstring or something
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  Speaker 1: or I don't remember. Anyway, Boy getting old teaches you
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: about anatomy.
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  Speaker 2: Did you forget to activate your glutes?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I did, Michael. I have a lot of trouble activating
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: my glutes, just like Tiger. All right, So here's how
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I heard it them it that area. I take this
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: golf lesson. It's great.
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  Speaker 3: Keep your head down, keep your left arm straight.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Oh you took the same lesson. Huh and uh and
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: and I realized, Okay, that's great and it's really helping me.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: But I'm still not flexible enough to pull it off
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: regularly because of all my arthritis and hip replacements stuff
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  Speaker 1: like that. And so I vow I'm going to swing
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  Speaker 1: a golf club twenty times a day, every single day.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: That's the best way to stretch it out. Make it
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: an everyday thing. Just go out in my driveway, swing it,
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  Speaker 1: and go back and do whatever I'm doing. So, like
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  Speaker 1: day two of this, I go out into my super
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  Speaker 1: busy day. We had a busy day at work and
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  Speaker 1: then I had an appointment. I've got five minutes to
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  Speaker 1: do my golf swings and it's day two. So I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: if you don't do it today, you just yeah, yeah,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: you ended your resolution on January third. Just sad. And
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: so I go out into my driveway and I take
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: a swing. Then I think, you know, you need to
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: stretch a little bit. So I'm stretching out. I'm like
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: doing toe touches more or less. And I hear a
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: door slam, car door, pick up truck door. Guy ambles
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: up my driveway. Do a little stretching. Huh, he says,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: years old beard. I'm like, yeah, yeah, trying to get looseen.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. And he says, yeah, yeah, I got
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: compressed my account. What's the compress my vertebrae number three
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: and number four? Yeah. I said, oh, you're too young
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: for that. He goes, yeah, yeah, it really hurts sometimes.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: And I'm like okay, yeah, and he says something else,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: and uh, he's in your driveway. He's walking on my driveway.
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  Speaker 1: I've got like a short driveway and then a big
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  Speaker 1: ish area where you can park and uh, and he's
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  Speaker 1: walking toward me. Yeah, this, Then I tell you what
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, finally I slip you with something. Finally
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I said to him, I said, look, are we just
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: two guys talking about stretching on my driveway or is
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  Speaker 1: there something I can.
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  Speaker 3: Do for you? What you said?
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  Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, And so so he hits me. He says,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, I'm a yeah, funny you bring it up. Yeah, yeah,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I'm whatever. What Brandon? Is that? What the Chinese food?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: What you name your son Brandon? So he goes, oh, yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm Brandon. I'm the project manager. We're doing your the
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Smith's house, tudors down the roof. Just wanted to tell
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: you about our roofing inspection plan and you are absolutely
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: not supposed to solicit like that in my hood. But
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, a roof is in fine shape.
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  Speaker 1: Give me your card, I'll let you know if we
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: need anything. All right, give to me happy stretching. And
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  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, for f's sake, And so at
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  Speaker 1: this point.
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  Speaker 2: You're you're better than me that I'm like, don't sell
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  Speaker 2: me stuff. I know my driveway. It's a nice day.
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  Speaker 3: I don't want some son stuff. I know.
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  Speaker 1: I know, it's it's partly that that doesn't happen in
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  Speaker 1: my hood. And so I thought, oh, this is like
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  Speaker 1: my neighbor's son or or he's the new guy in
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  Speaker 1: the hood. Yeah, that's good because that's the vibe. And
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  Speaker 1: so at this point, this guy is chewed up three
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  Speaker 1: and a half of my five minutes, and I am
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: pissed off. And so do you know what an orange
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: whip is? Not the cocktail popularized in orange Whip, Orange Whip,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: orange whip, three orange whips exactly. That was Blues Brothers. Yeah, John,
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  Speaker 1: It's a golf training tool. It's like a whippy thing
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  Speaker 1: with an orange ball at the end that you use
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  Speaker 1: to stretch your back and get your timing blow bother.
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  Speaker 1: It's a tool. And so I'm pissed off. So I'm like, you, asshole,
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  Speaker 1: I got it a tone, And so I take my
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  Speaker 1: orange whip and I take like fifteen violent fast swings,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: prixturing his head. Yeah, well more or less. I wake up.
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  Speaker 1: Was it the next day or the day after that?
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  Speaker 1: I can't remember, and I can't walk. I cannot walk.
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  Speaker 1: Everything's in spasm. I can barely move. I'm like crying
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  Speaker 1: out in pain. I gotta take muscle relaxance and pain killers.
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  Speaker 1: It didn't happen at the time when you were doing that. No,
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  Speaker 1: I didn't feel it at the time. You're way overstretched
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  Speaker 1: it and tore it, and so.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Wow, I would have thought it would have hurt right then.
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  Speaker 1: So freaking stupid. Well, you know, adrenaline is the most
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: incredible painkiller in the world. I've experienced that playing sports,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: where you get done and you realize you're socking, your
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: shoe are full of blood. You're like, what the hell happened?
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  Speaker 3: Like when I wrecked my motorcycle. Oh, I was fine.
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  Speaker 2: I was halfway home in that uber, bleeding all over
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  Speaker 2: his back seat everything. All of a sudden, Oh my god,
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  Speaker 2: this hurts, right, I haven't.
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  Speaker 1: Felt anything so anyway. Yeah, And so I've been rehabbing
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  Speaker 1: like a mother scratcher, and I haven't played golf in
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: two weeks, just trying to heal this thing I've done.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I've swung a few times in all, and so I've
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  Speaker 1: just got to see if it work. But my mom
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  Speaker 1: always said, because my sister and I were a year
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  Speaker 1: apart and we'd fight sometimes. We're best friends now, thank god,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: but she'd always say don't say they made you mad.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: That's a decision you make. You're in control of your
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: emotions and your reactions rise above it. And he made
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: me mad, and I'm paying the star stupid tax.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: That's a good one. That's a good one. In pain,
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: I'm Joe getting um that's a good one.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, how'd you hurt your leg? Well, this bearded guy
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  Speaker 1: was trying to sell me.
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  Speaker 2: Roof, I got mad at a salesperson is not a
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  Speaker 2: good good answer, never mind makes you got pissed and forgot?
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  Speaker 1: I'm old and was That doesn't sound good.
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  Speaker 2: That The reason I'm hurt for weeks or months or
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  Speaker 2: maybe forever is because I got so mad.
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  Speaker 1: At a salesperson, totally lost my head and abused my
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  Speaker 1: own body. I punched myself in the face repeatedly to
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  Speaker 1: show him how mad I was.
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  Speaker 3: You remember that?
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  Speaker 1: Might as well have Jeez, what a jackass? The stupid tax?
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  Speaker 2: There it is?
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  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.