Latest / Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, & MINDSET / Season 8 Episode 2 w:Author Jaylon Martin

Transcript

Season 8 Episode 2 w:Author Jaylon Martin · Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, & MINDSET

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Kicking in Wikiki, Kicking dippy ki ki kickin
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: it the ki ki for little personality, switching up the
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: storyline on God. We making this story and books changing
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: rise one day at the time. Much problems to the side.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Enjoy yourself, free your mind, chickin it we ki kee.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Kicking Wikiki, Life, Love
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: and all that other ship. I am your host, Kiki Chanel,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Award winning author, lifestyle blogger and owner of nineteen Lifestyle Magazine.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: The overall theme for Kicking and Wikiki is all about
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: sharing stories and experiences with the readers and the listeners
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: of the podcast and the platform. Today, I am joined
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: with a special guest. He is one of the writers
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: of nineteen Lifestyle magazine and he is here's to talk
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: about his upcoming new book. I like to give my
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: guests the opportunity to introduce themselves, So Jalen, go ahead
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: and tell the people who you are and what you do. Hi.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: My name is Jalen Martin. I go by Jalen J.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Martin when releasing books. I'm a spoken word author. I
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: also do other genres as well, such as ti fi, horror, fantasy.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Basically anything that targets young adult and new adult. And
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I'm here to talk about my new book, I Talk
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: to Horses, which will be releasing on February seven.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: All right, congratulations, Look, Jalen, I we go back a
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: long time. I met him when you first started writing.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Like she was still in high school when I met you.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I'm still in high school. I was in in my
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: junior year of high school when you and I first met.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, So congratulations, I know it's been a long rong.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: We're gonna get into all things, Jalen. We're going to
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: talk about your new project that you have coming up
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: that's releasing. I love the title Why I Talk to Horses? Okay,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: So tell the listeners the inspiration behind the book.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Okay. So I chose the title I talked to Horses
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: because I've been doing equin therapy. So, for those guys
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: who don't know, equon therapy is therapy that incorporates horses.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: There's a ranch in South Louisiana I visit called I'm
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Mister Ranch who has horses that they let people use
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: equin therapy for. So I started back in April of
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: twenty twenty four last year. When I first started visiting,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: there were I think the ranch has a total of
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: twenty horses, that includes the ponies that have yet to
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: grow into horses, and as of right now, there are
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: a few of them that are pregnant, so the population
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: for the horses there could possibly grow. So there's this
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: one horse, the horse on the cover. His name is Bo.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: So when the first day I started doing equon therapy,
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: once I started finish feeding him the apples and the
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: carrots that I had because that's the only thing I
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: knew about horses at the time, but they love eating
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: apples and carrots. So once he finished eating, he followed
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: me around all over the ranch and I'm like, hey,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: I don't have anything else. But there was like there
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: was an instant connection between that horse and I and
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: it didn't matter like if I had anything or not,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Like it was there was something about me and there's
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: something about that horse, like we were drawn together. And
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: ever since then, like I come back every month. I
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: even started up in my visits to like twice a month,
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: so the connection could grow even more. Like me and
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: that horse have become best friends. Honestly, there's many videos
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I post on my tiktoks where we go on our
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: walks and we have our communications. So the title is
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: all about how equin therapy has healed me from traumas
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: of the past, especially from college to conquering addiction. So
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: equin therapy has healed me from a lot of wounds
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: that have happened in the past year or so.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Wow, and I love that. And so what what would
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: be like a daily process of the equin therapy, Like
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: when you go and have your your your moment with
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: your best friend. Both just tell us what a day
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: in a life of that entails.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: It is, So it's like straight off of a movie.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: So of course me and Bo have our tongue. But
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: the thing about horses, they feel just like we do,
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: and they feel strongly too. There are other horses who
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: tend to get jealous when I show both more attention,
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: so I have to show at so I have to
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: take a break from both sometimes to give attention to
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: the other horses. So there's these two twin donkey their
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: name Kitten Cash full grown donkeys, and you got to
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: show those two some attention because they get really jealous
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: and they're really needy. So sometimes I find myself having
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: to bring a separate bag just for kitten Cash, like
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: a separate bag of carrots because sometimes the other horses
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: out eat all of them. Because when I visit the
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: ranch like before Christmas, so that's my Christmas gift of
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: the horses. I'm like, hey, like I had like a
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: whole bunch of bags just feeding like every horse and
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: pony I possibly could. But there was this one pony
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: named Ainslie who was out eating everybody and kitting cash.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: They were like stumping their hoods as of like hey,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: like you ate yours, like now it's our turn, and
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: so like kitten Cash that got like really jealous, and
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I told them, I'm like, okay, next time you're you're
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: gonna have your own bags since another pony ate everything
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: I had for y'all. So it's like a it's like
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: a sense of comedy and it's like like a slice
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: of life at the same time, like they know. The
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: horses know. They know when you're happy, they know when
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: you're side. One thing I started doing on my walk
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: to bou is I tend to sing to him. He
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: loves music, so when I sing him a happy song,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: he tends to like move his mane from side to side.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: He has a little groove on him and when I
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: sing something inside, bo put his entire head on me
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: as of like are you okay? Like it's it's completely
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: mind blowing up. Sometimes I find myself tearing up when
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I visit them because I'm just like wow. Because the
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: thing is, horses tend to feel more than people do.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: And the thing about horses this they love blindly, like
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: they don't really care like who you are, They just
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: love you in an instant. So that's what has made
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: like this experience and writing this book so powerful, Like
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: out of all the this is my sixth book, so
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: out of all of the books I've written, I can
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: say I talked to horse bees possibly my favorite one
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: to date.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, And I was gonna ask you that do you
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: have a favorite, but you just told us that you
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: have a favorite.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I love that you took the experience to share with
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: other people because you could have kept that all to yourself,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: especially when you were in your on your healing journey
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: trying to overcome all of the trauma. When is the
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: release date? I mean you told us, you told us
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: February seventh, So where can readers purchase a copy of
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: your book?
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Readers can purchase a copy on Amazon dot Com. The
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: title will be available on that date, and I'm having
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: surprisingly like, with this being my sixth book, I'm actually
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: going to be having my first book launch party ever
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: the Saturday and right after the release date, some one
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: of my friends is starting her own bookshop and I'll
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: be the first author to have a signing there, and
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Nice, that's amazing. Yes, So okay, let's let's let's get
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: into what do you want readers to take away on
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: learn by reading?
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: I talk to hearsts, so there's a bit of a
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: deep sensitive subject matter. So I called this book the
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: unintentional sequel to my previous poetry book, Recovery Ride, which
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: centers around me going through alcoholism in college. So I
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: talked to Horses basically serves as that unintentional sequel. So
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: Recovery Ride is basically healing from the alcoholism. I talked
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: to Horses as healing from the source. Because the thing is,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: God tends to show you things that He gives you
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: bits and pieces until you're able to see the big picture.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Because at the time when I was writing Recovery Ride,
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: I thought, okay, alcohol the acoholism was bad, but it
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: wasn't the thing that was destroying my life. So me
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: sobering up. By the way, I'll be making two years
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: sober this year on mayfist congratula.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you. So alcoholism in college youth is
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: not common at all, considering like eighteen year olds to
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: like twenty one year olds with being home away from home,
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: it actually happens way more than you think. And so
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: basically talking about like the source, basically God had me
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: sober up visit this ranch in order to show me
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: like the false wizard behind the curtains. If you can
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: understand that matter, yes. So what I want readers to
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: take away from this is healing is a process. So
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: when I wrote Recovery right, I thought, Okay, I'm healed.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: But the thing is, once I left MacNeice with my degree,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: although I left with a degree, but I was also
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: leaving with a broken heart. Still there was still a
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: lot of trauma that I still had to unpack. What
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: readers need to take away from this is you can't
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: rush the healing process. Sometimes there will be a way
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: for you to heal in ways that you never expected,
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: like I never thought I would be going to a
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: ranch and bonding with a bunch of horses in order
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: for me too properly healed. But I'm glad it happened
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: that way. I still visit the ranch to this very date.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: So basically, healing is a step by step process, and
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: it is slow. It's not fast at all. If I
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: tell y'all it was fast, I'd be lying to you.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: It's a slow burn, but it is worth it. Sometimes
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: it takes a year, some types it takes multiple years,
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: but you have to have patience yourself in order to
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: feel it until you feel completely healed.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And it's amazing how the books came full circle
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: because Recovery Ride, I talk the horses like, did you
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: have like an inkling of that was gonna happen in
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: your life? Were you going to the ranch prior to that,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: or you know, before you wrote Recovery Rout.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: So when I wrote Recovery Right, I was in my
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: final semester at Magnice. I had no idea I would ever. Honestly,
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: when once I finished writing Recovery Ride, I didn't really
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: see myself writing anything again because I was so terrified
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: releasing this book because of the subject matter. I was worried.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm like twenty two years old, like
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: people tell me all the time, like, oh my god,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: you're like you went through alcoholism, but you're so young.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: But like I said, addiction does not discriminate. It could
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: look like anybody, it can happen to anyone. But college
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: college is basically the heart of addiction. So I would
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: not I did not know I would even write an
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: unattentional sequel to Recovery Rod. And this book acts like
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: that in a way, but at the same time it
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: stands as its own thing. It talks about how like
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: the horses have healed me from so much, such as
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: my pasts with addiction, this place that I was once
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: a part of, that I found myself having to get
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: out of because this place did not serve my purpose
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: in life at all. And it talks about friendship, breakups,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: breakups in general, anxiety, thing on topics like that. And
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: the Ranch basically serves as like this anchor towards the
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: healing that with the horse, not just the horses, but
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: the horses, the donkeys, the ponies, like basically the ranch
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: in general. Sometimes you have to change your environment in
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: order to experience something new, because just being like out
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: in like the open, it's it's absolutely refreshing because sometimes
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: when you're like in the city, it can be a
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: bit cramped. So changing like your environment plays a part
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: in that as well.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I love that you say that because that is so true.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: You cannot find elevation in the comfort zone. Yes, you
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: have to branch out, and sometimes it's you're isolated. You
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: have to go through your healing journey alone until you're
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: strong enough to tell someone your story without it feeling
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: like a weight on you again. And that's how you
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: you know that I am beginning the process. I can
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: form this sentence and tell people that I was going
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: through this and I was at a dark place without
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: breaking down and going back to that place. So thank you,
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: thank you for sharing, saying sharing your story like I'm not,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I don't want to. I don't want to give away
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: anything because I want you guys to go and get
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: the books and support him and read about his journey.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: But let's let's talk about what motivated you to get sober.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: What motivated me? So we're gonna backpedalle a little bit.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: So what motivated me against so was at a college party.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: I found myself drinking a lot of tequila. And I
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: don't know if any of y'all like had tequila before,
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: but when you drink tequila, it feels like you're insides
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: are on fire. This was like the most painful thing
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: I've ever experienced. Like I drunk so much of it
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: that I blacked out. I didn't remember. I don't I
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: don't remember to this day, I still don't remember things
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: that happened that night. It was horrifying. Like some people
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: tend to these days, people tend to joke like, oh,
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: I got so drunk, like I don't remember what happened.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Like to me personally, there's nothing really funny about that,
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: because there could be it could be absolutely horrifying. So
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: that party, like apparently like I said some things to
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: some people that was absolutely harsh, and I'm like, this
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: is not who I am. I don't want to feel
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: like this anymore. And that's what prompted me to get sober,
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: because that was not who Jalen was. I don't know
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: who that person was whenever he would drink himself silly,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: but that wasn't him. But it wasn't just at the parties.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: I found myself at a place around like a group
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: of people who weren't for me at all, and it
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: felt me and it made me feel powerless, to the
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: point I would go to the alcohol in order to
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: numb myself, to just not feel anything, because I was like,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: you know what if none of these people can feel
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: anything I'm feeling, maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm like gaslighting myself.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: So I would just turn to the alcohol. The drinking
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: was so bad that the only thing I would have
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: in my mini fridge was an empty bottle a Margherita
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: midst It would sit there in my fridge for months.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know why I didn't get rid of it,
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: like sooner. It just stayed. It just stayed there. I
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: don't know why to this day, but that is that's
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: what happened.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Oh wow. See, recognizing that you didn't like the person
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: that you were becoming on the alcohol. That takes a
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: lot of inner self like you have self reflection and accountability,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: and a lot of people don't want to have that.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: They blame other people or they're blaming on the alcohol.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Not realizing that you were self medicating to cover up
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: something else, Like you said you you didn't like the
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: way the people that was in your circle made you
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: feel so you wanted to numb it and hurt people,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: hurt people, and it goes. I don't think it was
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: about you at all. It was they were so numb,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: are broken or unhealed that they say, you know what,
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: let me take that, Let me take it off me
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: and put it on somebody else to make them feel
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: low because I'm already low. Yes, yeah, and it's sad
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: that you have to deal with that, but I thank
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: God for allowing you to make it through, to share
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: your story inspire somebody else. Yeah.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: And the thing is, I couldn't when I wrote Recovery right,
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: and even when I wrote wrote I talked to horses.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: This is These are things like I can't just sit on.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: I know other people would like just sit on it
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: and try to move on with their life the best
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: they can. But the thing is, so much had happened
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: and I've experienced so much that I would honestly wouldn't
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: forgive myself if I know there's somebody out there who
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: went through the same thing I went through, and I
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: may be holding a solution to their problem, and like
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: just not share it like I would I have to.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: I feel like I had to share it the best
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: way I possibly can.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and when you know that you have arrived to
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: your purpose, you realize that it's biggerting you. Yes, so
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: you know you your recovery is bigger thing you and
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: it's going to impact so many lives. I just I
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: cannot wait to watch the journey and just smile and
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: say Jayla when he first started, and I'm seeing you
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: grow and grow and it's just a beautiful thing to
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: see the smile on your face. And it's like, you know,
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: I would, I would think about you often and then
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: I'll see you pop up where you posting something. I
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: was like, okay, Jayla's still doing it and stuff like that,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: because you know, we started following each other on social media,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: so I have been there watching from the sidelines, cheering
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: you own. When you posted that you were graduating and
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: your graduation pictures, I was like, yes, you know, because
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: you could allowed your your addiction to keep you from
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: getting your degree and a lot of people do that.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Yes. And to finish line, I was right off the
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: finish line and I'm like, ain't no way it stops
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: right here. That's basically what I told myself.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, And I wanted to ask, did you have
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: like a support system with your family or did you
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: not tell them about what was going on? Oh?
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, Oh yes, I'm glad you. I'm glad you asked up.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: My family has a driving force for me ever since
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: this journey began on May fifth, twenty twenty three. They
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: supported me getting help. They supported me wanting to change
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: my friend group because like, no, like people, even like
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: people in my family, like my grandparents and my mom.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: They would tell me this person, that's something not right
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: about this person. I wouldn't be able to see what
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: they were seeing because like I'm just blinded by the
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: perception this person was showing to me. But once, like
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: I was actually once I was sitting down and like
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: trying to recover the people who I was, who was
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: the cause of me drinking was nowhere to be found.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I couldn't get their support, I couldn't get their love.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: There was even some who were mad at me that
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: I stopped, that I stopped drinking because like I wasn't
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: going to be like partying with them anymore. And I'm
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: just like I don't want to do that anymore because
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: the thing is what I learned about addiction. When people
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: see that side of you, they're going to remind as
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: many people as they possibly can about that. Because I
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: saw this. I saw this post and it was on Facebook,
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: and it still sits with me to this day. It said,
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: the reason why people constantly talk about the past few
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: because they have no access to the new you. Because
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: the person who like you're looking at right now, who
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: you're talking to, those people from the past, they have
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: no access to any of this because God made the
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: block button for a reason. And two, like when you,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: when you finally experience true peace, you have every right
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: to protect that and the best way is possible. And
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I'm so overprotective with my peace that I refuse to
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: let anybody from the past, or anybody affiliated with anybody
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: in my past to try to access that and shrip
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: that away from me. I've worn't too hard.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: That yes, that you just said, that's a beautiful thing.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: It's a beautiful feeling, and you cannot understand it until you've.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: Gone through it. I've gone through it.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: So I'm over here like shaking my head because I
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: feel everything that you say. I feel the same exact way,
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: like nothing is more important to me than my piece, Yes,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: because the fight was so hard. To look at you
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: now and say, oh, you're so strong, You're so strong,
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: but not realizing that those dark nights are there, dark
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: days which on you light. I'm not letting you go
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: like smothering you, trying to strip you from your life.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Despite me sobering up to this day, to this day,
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: even with the equine therapy and even like I'm just
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: regular therapy, to this day, I still have nightmares about
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: that party that night, because it's horrifying when you just
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: fog out and you just remember and all you have
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: is everybody else's words. It's to this day it's still horrifying,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: And to this day, to all those people in my past,
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: I'm still known as the boy who got drunk on
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Senco Demayo. They don't know about Jalen becoming, Jalen graduating,
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Jalen becoming an author, Jalen releasing a sixth book. All
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: they know is about the person that got drunk at
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Cicco Demayo. That's all they know, that's all they have
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: access to, that's all they remember. And honestly, I'm fine
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: with that because with what I have gained from like
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: this ranch and what I've what I with the bond
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: I have with Bo, It's better than anything I can
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: experience from any person from my past. So that version,
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: that old version of my stuff, they can they can
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: keep it. They can honestly keep it. And it doesn't
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: bother me to this day that the tall tale of
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Jalen Martin the college drunk, it still spins around because
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: I have degree. I'm not there anymore.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: So right, absolutely, and good for you, Jalen. I'm glad
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: that you didn't get stuck in it and allow it
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: to affect you, affect you in a way where you
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: relapse because it happens.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, absolutely, So.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You mentioned something earlier. I want you to elaborate on
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: this a little bit. Recognizing your slice of life. How
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: important is it to recognize your slice of life? So
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: someone who may be listening and don't understand that, can
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: you just break it down what you were talking about
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: when you said it earlier.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Recognizing that slice of life. So what I mean by
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: that is you will actually feel when weights have been
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: taken off your shoulders. I remember one time when I
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: visited the ranch one day, like I was just walking
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: with Ba and just like talking talking to him so
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: little sidetrack brief like when you talk to worthless, they understand,
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: They absolutely understand. So one day I was talking to
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: him and it just hit me. This is when I
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: feel that slights of life. I'm like, this is all
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: I ever wanted, just someone something to stay by me
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: blindly and just see me grow, because that's all I
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: ever wanted from the people of the past, just to
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: see me grow. But they didn't want to see me grow.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: And it just hits me, like, Wow, an animal is
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: willing to show more love and compassion than a human being.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: And that's when I actually felt that, because sometimes when
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: you're in that moment, you kind of compare and contrast.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: I'm just like, wow, like this, this animal, who even
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: though I can't like actually talk back to me with words,
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: could actually show more care and generosity and passion and
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: support more than a human being who can actually talk
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: like right, it's a It's amazing to me.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, And I want to say to someone who may
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: be listening to haven't found their slice of life, take
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: some time to sit with yourself, take some time to
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: learn who you are, and learn the things that you
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: like and those little slices of life will start to
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: manifest in your life.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Still.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: You know, it's almost like having an Aha moment. I
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: really like apples over oranges. I really like drinking water,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: or going outside and putting my feet in the sand
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: or dirt or something like that. You would know that
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: it is a part of your slice of life when
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: you experience it.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, some people think some people think I'm crazy for this,
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: but my family commends me for it. But the ranch
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: has changed me like so much. I even changed my
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: eating dot so ever since this year, I've begun. I
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: have become a full on tescatarian, So I no longer
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: eat beef or pork. They say pork is bad for
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: you anyway, Oh yes, I mainly just stick to seafood
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: because like there was one day, like I was looking
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: at like some bacon in the Frish and I'm just like,
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: I really really don't want this, like even like with
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: the frozen burger patties and all that, and I'm just like,
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I really don't want this anymore. And so far, I'm
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: loving it so far, Like it just feels like I've
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: become like a new person and I'm still I'm still growing.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: The thing about transformation is that it gradually happens over time.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: But once you start feeling that transformation, you're just like wow,
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: like I want to experience more of this, Like I
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: hope this never ends, and you'll be in luck because
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: transformation never ends. You're finding more things about yourself as
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: you go along. And that's probably the best feeling in
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: the world.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: It really is. It really is. And so I know
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: you talked about that dreadful night, but how has been
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: sober impacted your life?
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Being sober has got me closer to my faith, to myself.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: And I've gotten so strong to the point as if
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: I if I'm like with some people and if they do,
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: like have a drink, it doesn't bother me at all.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: And I have such a strong support group that they
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: always ask me. They always ask me, oh my God,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: like I forgot, I forgot? Are you Are you okay
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: with me having a dream? And I'm like, go ahead, injury, like, enjoy,
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: enjoy your enjoy yourself. Because that's how strong I've gotten
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: in my sobriety. But when it was beginning that summer
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: of twenty twenty three, it was hard. It was so hard,
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: like even like if something slide. It ticked me off.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: I would want to drink, but I couldn't have and
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: I couldn't find a way to access that, and I
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: would just like find myself sweating, like the withdraws were
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: real and they were rough, and my family would be like, Jaylen,
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: you gotta get through this. Friends were like, Jalen, you
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: got to get through this. It was. It was so painful,
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: and I wouldn't wish this one anybody. It's it's the
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: worst feeling. Well, once you beat it, it's it's the
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: most amazing feeling ever. It's rewarding because it shows like
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: you are more powerful than any trial and tribulation.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, I love that, Jalen. I love that. So what's
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: next for you? Besides the book release? What's going on?
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: I have a whole bunch of projects in the works,
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: from sci fi to fantasy. So I've written my first
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: sci fi trilogy when I was in eighth grade, so
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: I was looking through like my old books and everything.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: I'm very proud of teenage Jalen. But I'm actually planning
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: on rewriting and republishing that sci fi trilogy because I
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: feel like my first book series. Dessers, the writer I
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: have become. So I've been like looking through that trying
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: to find ways to like flesh out the story and
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: the character development in order to give it that full
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: star power that I know that it can even have
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: than ever before.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love this. See. I love when
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: you when as you grow as a person, you want
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: to just put out your best, so you go back
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: and and revisit that so that you can do that. Yes,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. So tell the listeners
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: how they can connect with you. So I know you
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: hang out on the social media streets, but tell the
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: listeners how they can connect with you.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: So I actually have two instagrams. One Instagram is the
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Spoken Stallion and the other one which is mainly my
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: author page is The Stallion of Stories. And I also
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: have a Facebook page for that. I do my office
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: stuff as well called Jalen J. Martin the Author. And
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: I'm very active on TikTok hopefully TikTok space because I
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: love my TikTok but I know yes in case of
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: TikTok stays on. My TikTok page is the Spoken Stallion
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: as well, and you can also connect with me on LinkedIn.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: My name is Jayla Martin.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: But before we get out of here, do you have
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: like any words of encouragement, empowerment, motivation for the listeners today.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: So my word of encouragement is where I learned. When
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: I was writing, I talked to horses. Like every single poem.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: It's to basically just feel your feels. Because when it
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: came to writing Recovery Rod, there were a lot of
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: things that I was trying to avoid writing on. But
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: when you're a writer, putting your pain on paper is
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: the only way to get through it. But if you're
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: not a writer, I definitely recommend it. Put that pain
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: on paper because trust me, I've written I kind of
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: embraced my enter Taylor Swift, my students tell me and
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: I just write down but everything that has given me
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: like a broken heart. And also I find myself not
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: writing it in such a vain manner. When it comes
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: to writing things like about the people of my past,
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: I wrote it in a way showing like I forgive
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: them while acknowledging, Hey, what you've done is was pretty
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: screwed up. But I forgive you because this is me
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: taking a big step forward. So I leave off today, Stam.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Once you make that big step. Don't look back so
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: in a way that I say about it and I
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: talk to horses. Once you get on that statle and
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: ride off to the sun stuff, that light is all
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: you're going to see. And keep riding into that.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: Light, keep riding into that light. I love that. I
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: love that. So Jalleen, thank you so much for coming
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: and kicking with me today.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: It has been absolutely.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I wish you continued success. You know I'm here for you.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: If you ever need to talk or anything else, you
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: know I'm down for you. We don't very often, but
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: you know you got somebody in your corner. Oh. Absolutely, Yeah,
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: it's absolutely But you guys have been listening to another
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: episode of Kicking It Wikiki Life, loving all that other shit.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: I am back with the new episode every Thursday. Say
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: make sure you tap in follow us on social media
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: at Kicking It Withkiki Media on all platforms. Just right
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: into that sunset, like right into the sunset. Happen to
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: finding your slice of life and know that you deserve
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: it regardless of what has happened in your past. You
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: have the ability and the power to overcome it. It
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: is hard, but they have professionals that will will help
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: you along the way, and you have to do what
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Jaylen said. Have a support system that will be in
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: your corner, that will recognized, Hey, let me just make
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: sure that he's okay before I take this drink or
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: whatever it may be. In your case, I'm here as well,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: so you can always reach out to me kicking Wikiki
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Media at gmail dot com. You guys be blessed. Papa hugs.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Later on mm hmmm.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Check ended with kee Kee s the Loma Godson