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The #1 Reason Successful Women Struggle with Love · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  Have you ever noticed how a woman can be extremely successful in her life?
• 0:36
  She's capable, she's confident, she's independent, she's disciplined, she gets stuff done.
• 0:42
  But then when it comes to her relationships, things get a little weird.
• 0:45
  Oftentimes, she chooses an unavailable man, and then suddenly that confidence that she has in her career and every other area of her life goes out the window.
• 0:55
  Suddenly she's checking texts, she's wondering where he is, she's analyzing every word he says, and quite frankly, driving herself crazy.
• 1:02
  Well, if that's you, don't worry, it happens to a lot of high-achieving successful women.
• 1:06
  In fact, it used to happen to me.
• 1:08
  And once I understood what I'm gonna be talking about in this video, I went from being hyper-independent, very successful, and single for 15 years to manifesting my protector/provider husband in four months.
• 1:21
  And for those of you who might be wondering,"Oh, but did she give up her success?" No, I didn't.
• 1:25
  In fact, I am more successful than ever before.
• 1:29
  So you're definitely going to watch this video.
• 1:31
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:33
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:40
  Lately, we've been talking a lot about relationship dynamics, feminine energy, masculine energy, polarity in relationships, manifesting money, and so much more.
• 1:50
  So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 1:58
  And if you haven't done so already, make sure to check out our free Divine Feminine Archetypes quiz.
• 2:04
  It'll take you three minutes to do it, and it'll tell you which of the four archetypes that I teach is most dominant in your life, and how it shows up in your dating life, or how it shows up with money, or how it shows up in your relationships in general.
• 2:19
  So you'll hear me talking about these four archetypes.
• 2:21
  I often talk about the Wounded Maiden, the Awakening Warrior, the Conscious Queen, and the Magnetic Empress.
• 2:28
  So, so you don't get lost, make sure to take that free quiz.
• 2:32
  I will leave the link below and leave the QR code up here as well So here's the reality of what happens with high-achieving women when it comes into relationships.
• 2:41
  Oftentimes, the skills that help you be successful in your career, the skills that help you make money, a lot of times high-achieving women will take that into their relationships.
• 2:53
  And oftentimes the high-achieving women are what I call the awakening warrior.
• 2:58
  So the awakening warrior is the woman who makes stuff happen.
• 3:03
  This woman wills things to happen if she has to.
• 3:07
  It's usually the woman who is over-identified with masculine energy and the problem is that she thinks that same energy is going to translate over into relationships.
• 3:19
  The issue is when you take that same energy of I'm going to make stuff happen into relationships, then she ends up putting herself in the masculine pole in the relationship, and she will attract more passive men.
• 3:31
  She will attract more feminine men.
• 3:33
  She will attract more unavailable men who make her cortisol spike.
• 3:37
  And there's lots of reasons why a high-achieving woman may actually be attracted to that kind of a man, which is what we're going to be talking about as we move forward in this video.
• 3:48
  But the main thing I need you to understand is polarity in relationships so in order for you to have a juicy relationship with a masculine man who pursues you, a man that you don't have to baby or mother, a man who actually does what he says he's going to do, a man who's reliable, then oftentimes a woman has to learn to get back into the pole of feminine energy so the man can be in the pole of masculine energy.
• 4:12
  High-achieving women are accustomed to living in masculine energy, and there's lots of reasons for this.
• 4:19
  So part of what we're going to be talking about in this video are the reasons why this happens to high-achieving women, and in addition to that, what this woman needs to heal inside of her as an awakening warrior so she can move more into conscious queen and magnetic empress and start seeing more ease and flow in her relationships.
• 4:37
  And not just her relationships, she'll also see more ease and flow with money.
• 4:40
  So let's see if we get into that as well So one of the reasons why high-achieving women are attracted to unavailable men is because the unavailable man is a problem to solve so recently, I did a live stream here on this channel, which make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the live streams that I do, where I engage with you in the community and answer your questions live.
• 5:02
  But something recently came up, um, with a woman who I believe she got conscious queen or magnetic empress on her quiz.
• 5:09
  But oftentimes, what happens with the conscious queens and the magnetic empresses is that you already went through awakening warrior, right?
• 5:16
  You already went through the high-functioning, over-functioning phase of your life, um, but you haven't quite let it go yet.
• 5:24
  You haven't quite let it go yet, and it shows up in relationships.
• 5:27
  So what came up in the chat was a woman had chosen a man who quite frankly was non-functioning.
• 5:33
  In the case of this woman, the man was very depressed.
• 5:35
  Now, this was not a man that she was married to.
• 5:38
  This was not a man who was going through a grieving process because he may- perhaps he went through a major loss.
• 5:43
  This was a man who was chronically depressed, non-functioning, and didn't wanna do anything.
• 5:48
  And this woman, um, even though she got conscious queen on her quiz, turned into an awakening warrior in her relationships the same way that she admitted she was an awakening warrior in her career and s- found herself trying to coach this man, found herself trying to tell this man what to do, motivate this man, be this man's therapist.
• 6:09
  And what happens a lot of the times for the awakening warriors and the high-achieving women who usually are awakening warriors, until they have some of the realizations that I talk about in this video, is that an unavailable man is a problem to solve.
• 6:22
  It is a challenge to overcome.
• 6:24
  And for a woman who is used to solving problems, a woman who is used to overcoming challenges, and a woman who's had a lot of success in her career by doing that, she just translates that over into her relationships.
• 6:38
  So oftentimes, this woman finds herself with a man who is a project Now the other thing that happens with the high-achieving women is if she finds herself with an unavailable man, a passive man, a non-functioning man, an otherwise unhealthy man who is not pursuing her because he is not in his healthy masculine energy, a lot of times his distance or his passivity or his unavailability triggers her high-achieving wiring so suddenly he pulls away and she's like,"Oh my gosh, I have to achieve this." It becomes another achievement on her list to get this man to commit to her.
• 7:12
  It becomes another achievement on her list to get to control the situation and get this man to be with her.
• 7:19
  So when he starts to distance his- himself, it starts triggering that part of her brain that has gotten used to, again, overcoming challenges in order to get what she wants The other thing that happens here is that the high achieving woman, who again is usually an awakening warrior, she will confuse pursuit with power so in her career, she may be in a career where she has to pursue a lot.
• 7:42
  She may be in a career, again, where she makes stuff happen.
• 7:45
  She's in a career where she's calling the shots.
• 7:47
  She's in a career where she is in control.
• 7:50
  Now, I can make the argument, because I have lived this in my career, that that's not exactly the best way to make money, and there's other ways that we can make money that are more in alignment with feminine energy.
• 8:01
  But let's keep it simple for now and just focus on the fact that this woman is very masculine in her career.
• 8:07
  And in her career, she's rewarded for that.
• 8:10
  So perhaps she's rewarded with money.
• 8:13
  Perhaps she's rewarded with recognition.
• 8:15
  Perhaps she's rewarded with accolades.
• 8:17
  She's rewarded with some sort of an achievement.
• 8:20
  And then what happens is, again, she translates that over into her relationships because in her career, when she's achieving, she feels very powerful.
• 8:29
  Now, eventually that woman will burn out, and then we will start having a different conversation in terms of how to make money from more feminine energy.
• 8:37
  But in the meantime, while she's an awakening warrior, if she hasn't hit that burnout yet, she feels incredibly powerful.
• 8:43
  She feels like she is in control of her life, and she just assumes she can do the exact same thing in relationships and that it will work, when in reality it doesn't The high-achieving woman, particularly when it comes to relationships if she is still an awakening warrior in most of her life, is that instead of being in her feminine energy in relationships where she is meant to be observing the men around her and then responding accordingly, she goes from observing to managing again, she is so accustomed to managing things in every other area of her life that she assumes relationships are the same.
• 9:17
  The problem is that when you start managing a man, you turn into a man's mother so let's say you had a relationship that was working out, and then suddenly he's starting to become more passive.
• 9:28
  Well, you probably became his mother in some way, shape, or form by trying to manage him.
• 9:33
  In addition to that, it does not allow healthy masculine men to step up.
• 9:37
  So even if you were to attract a healthy masculine man, eventually he's not, he's not gonna be attracted to you anymore'cause he's not attracted to his mom.
• 9:46
  He's not attracted to mom energy.
• 9:48
  He's attracted to feminine energy in the form of a romantic partner, and When you're managing him, you're not giving that.
• 9:56
  You're not giving romantic partner, you're giving mom The other thing that happens with the high-achieving woman in relationships is that she will start using her own strength against her so in other parts of her life, she has proven that she is strong, she has proven that she is resilient, she has proven that she will push through difficult moments.
• 10:13
  A lot of times these women, um, have some sort of a, uh, a feeling that if they don't get something done, then no one else is gonna do it.
• 10:22
  Usually this woman does not feel very supported.
• 10:25
  And when I work with women on this who are moving into conscious queen energy, that's one of the things that they have to let go of, right?
• 10:33
  They have to let go of this constantly needing to be in control, and they need to understand the feminine version of strength.
• 10:39
  So with the high-achieving woman, usually her strength is showing in the same way that it shows up in a man, right?
• 10:46
  So it's physical.
• 10:47
  It's about overcoming difficulty.
• 10:49
  It's about overcoming certain circumstances.
• 10:51
  It's about having grit.
• 10:52
  Once she moves into conscious queen, she starts to realize that a woman's strength and resilience is actually an internal game, not necessarily an outer game.
• 11:01
  But what happens is until a woman has that realization, she will start using her strength, which is typically seen as a wonderful thing in life, against herself in relationships.
• 11:12
  So what does this mean?
• 11:14
  It means that she is wired to tolerate inconsistency longer.
• 11:18
  It means that she is wired to tolerate bad behavior from a man longer.
• 11:23
  It means that she is wired to believe that relationships are hard just like everything else has been hard, therefore she needs to show her strength The other thing that happens with the high-achieving woman is she may be attracted to challenge in fact, she, she may get off on overcoming challenges, and I know that this was me when I was an awakening warrior, particularly in my career.
• 11:44
  When I was an awakening warrior, I had this tendency of if there was some sort of a pressure cooker or if there was some sort of a challenge or problem to solve, it's like I would get activated, and then I would know what to do in that situation.
• 11:57
  I would overcome the problem, and then I'd be like,"Great," until the next problem or the next challenge or the next chaos came around.
• 12:04
  And I lived like that for a long time, and a lot of women live like that.
• 12:08
  And the problem is that we will eventually burn out because when we're living in this state of there's always gonna be a problem, there's always gonna be a challenge, or there's always gonna be chaos, when we're living in that state, we're constantly giving, giving, giving, giving, and we actually eventually become very dysregulated and burn out.
• 12:25
  Now, with men, it's a little bit different.
• 12:27
  They do experience that at some point.
• 12:29
  However, it is a little bit different because with men, the way that men gain confidence is actually by overcoming challenges.
• 12:38
  That's how they start to feel good about themselves as men.
• 12:42
  And in fact, you've probably heard something along the lines of rites of passage, right?
• 12:46
  That there were, um, civilizations and tribes and groups of people that the boys eventually had to go through a rite of passage, and then they would have to overcome some sort of a challenge, and then that represented going from boyhood to manhood.
• 13:00
  So with men, um, overcoming challenges helps them build confidence.
• 13:05
  Now with us women, it does help us build confidence, but eventually we are going to burn out, and there are so many women who come to me on this channel who get conscious queen as their quiz result, um, and they've already been through the awakening warrior burnout, and now they're looking for a different way of doing things.
• 13:21
  That was definitely me.
• 13:23
  And then what ends up happening, is until we have that realization, until we have that burnout, or until we have the realization that this isn't working for us anymore, or until we get back to a place of feminine energy, then we're gonna take that same mentality into our relationships, and we will actually be turned on by the challenge.
• 13:43
  Now this is completely backwards, right?
• 13:44
  Because who's the one who needs to get the prize?
• 13:48
  Who's the one who needs to overcome challenges in order to get the prize, the prize being you?
• 13:52
  A masculine man.
• 13:54
  So masculine men are attracted to women that come with a little bit of a challenge.
• 13:58
  This doesn't mean playing games.
• 13:59
  Honestly, all it means is having standards and boundaries and that's already enough of a challenge without having to manipulate or play games or any of that.
• 14:07
  So when a woman is the one who's turned on by a challenge, again, she's putting herself in the masculine pole, and she will end up attracting men who are more feminine, who believe they are the prize, who aren't in their healthy masculine energy of pursuing her Now, the other thing that happens is the emotional availability that she's experiencing from a man triggers her over-functioning.
• 14:29
  So usually high-achieving women, again, until they go through the awakening warrior burnout, until they start moving through conscious queen and eventually getting to magnetic empress, they're usually women who are accustomed to over-functioning.
• 14:42
  They have to solve everybody's problem.
• 14:44
  They get stuff done.
• 14:46
  They manage everybody and everything around them.
• 14:49
  They achieve all the time.
• 14:50
  The, the thing is that in your career, you can make the argument that you are getting rewarded for it in terms of money or promotions, et cetera.
• 14:58
  And again, now that I've gotten away from awakening warrior and have built a business from conscious queen and magnetic empress, I can tell you that it doesn't have to be that way even in career.
• 15:08
  However, that's how many of us are taught to function in careers.
• 15:12
  So if we're over-functioning in our careers, which yes, girl, it is costing you money, and yes, girl, it is draining you, and yes, girl, it is depleting you, even if you don't realize it yet, eventually it will.
• 15:23
  What happens is we take that same over-functioning into relationships.
• 15:27
  Now, a lot of women who are high achievers and over-functioners learned from a young age that in order for them to gain love, they must prove their love, right?
• 15:37
  They must prove themselves in order to get money, and in the case of career, it kinda sorta works until it doesn't anymore, and then they take that into relationships where it never works.
• 15:48
  So if you've been taught that in order for you to receive money and love that you need to prove yourself, okay, in your career it kinda works until it doesn't anymore, and again, some of you have already had that realization.
• 16:00
  But then you take that into love where it never works.
• 16:03
  You begin over-functioning, and when you begin over-functioning, if you're already in a relationship, you turn into his mother eventually, and then the spark is gone.
• 16:11
  And then if you're dating, you tend to attract more of the passive men.
• 16:14
  For those of you who've been sending me emails and things saying,"I'm so tired of men asking me for money," you have to ask yourself something.
• 16:20
  Where are you over-functioning?
• 17:23
  Where are you trying to prove yourself?
• 17:25
  Where are you doing it, right?
• 17:27
  Even if you're doing it in your career, then say,"I'm doing it in my career.
• 17:30
  Then maybe I'm bringing that over into my relationships." Because usually women who are attracting men who are asking them for money, who expect them to pay bills, who say things like,"Oh my gosh, you're so capable," and then that's what the man admires about her, she's usually over-functioning and in masculine energy, so the balance and the polarity is off So here's why smart, intelligent, confident, capable women get stuck in this Because your intelligence does not make you immune to attachment or attachment patterns.
• 18:03
  Sometimes it can actually work against you because you will start over-rationalizing poor behavior.
• 18:08
  These are the type of women who will say things like,"Oh, he just has trauma." Like,"If he would just go to a therapist, and then I'm gonna go find a therapist for him, then he'll be fine." Or these are the women who will see that a man is non-functioning, a lump of coal, as I call him, and then she will try and coach him and do all these things and motivate him, and masculine men don't like that, right?
• 18:29
  And I will admit that I have done this because I used to be an over-functioning woman, and my husband hates it when I do that because my husband, um, is a very masculine man.
• 18:38
  And any woman who's married to a masculine man who is devoted to her, who loves her, who pursues her, who provides for her, will tell you that, that those types of men don't like it when you try and motivate them.
• 18:51
  Uh, they'll ask you for help if they need it, but if you're doing it unsolicited, which is what a lot of these high-achieving women do, they don't like it very much.
• 18:59
  But the passive men love it because the passive men are gonna be like,"Great, I don't really have to do anything around here because she's gonna be the one who handles it." And then a lot of you end up wondering why you're in relationships where you feel like his mom, or you feel like you have to drag him to the altar, or you feel like you have to control everything, or the men ask you for money, or the men ask you to pay bills, or the men don't wanna provide for you.
• 19:21
  You're over-functioning, girl.
• 19:23
  Your intelligence is actually something that can kinda get in the way here because you, not the conscious queens, but the awakening warriors will over-rationalize all this kind of behavior.
• 19:34
  Or they'll say things like,"Oh, you know what?
• 19:36
  You know, uh, uh, he's just an avoidant," right?
• 19:38
  Like, that's just his attachment style is that he's an avoidant, and then you start gaslighting yourself and trying to rationalize in your head why you should stick around rather than leaving and trying to go work on yourself so you become more in your feminine energy, and then you attract men who are more in masculine energy.
• 19:56
  So intelligent women, it's kind of like a double-edged sword.
• 20:00
  Your intelligence is an amazing thing, but it's the exact same thing that will make you over-rationalize poor behavior from men.
• 20:07
  It's the exact same thing that will help you over-rationalize what your body is telling you because your body may be screaming,"Hey, this is not a good idea.
• 20:16
  Hey, I don't feel good here.
• 20:18
  Hey, I'm having a lot of anxiety," and you in your head will over-rationalize it.
• 20:22
  And here's the other thing.
• 20:24
  A lot of times the high-achieving women and the awakening warriors are very disconnected from their bodies.
• 20:29
  I oftentimes will talk to women who like all the energy is up here in their head, but from the neck down they're dead.
• 20:36
  So what happens is you can't even read the signals that your body is sending you because you're so in your head, you're so over-functioning, you're 15 steps ahead of everybody else, you're accustomed to solving, to solve everybody's problems, you're accustomed to over-functioning that you can't even read the signals of your own body anymore.
• 20:54
  So the same way that this intelligence is a gift, right, it could also be a bit of a double-edged sword if you rely on it too much And when it comes to a woman who's in feminine energy who can attract a masculine energy man, she's not living in her head.
• 21:08
  She is far more in tune with her body So now that we've gone into some of the reasons why high-achieving women are going to be attracted to unavailable men, let's talk about what to do about it, how to change it.
• 21:19
  How can we take you from an awakening warrior, move you into conscious queen, and eventually become a magnetic empress?
• 21:26
  So this is where you start to get your power back So number one, you start to get your power back and start getting more into feminine energy and then y- shifting what is going on outside of you with men when you stop making his capacity your responsibility.
• 21:41
  His emotional availability, his emotional capacity, his capacity to be in a relationship, his capacity to make money, that's all his responsibility.
• 21:50
  And what happens with a lot of women who are high-achieving, over-functioning, awakening warriors, or they have been in their past, they try to manage his capacity for him, or they try to manage his life for him, or they try to coach him into being the man that she knows that he can be and essentially building a man in that way, which usually backfires.
• 22:11
  So the first thing that you need to know how to do is realize his life is not your responsibility.
• 22:17
  His ability to be in a relationship with you is not your responsibility.
• 22:21
  His capacity in his life is not your responsibility The other thing you wanna do is you wanna stop dating potential, right?
• 22:30
  So rather than dating some potential maybe future version of this man where he gets off the couch and actually makes a lot of money or whatever fantasy you have of whatever man you've got going on right now, or a man who actually values you or pursues you or provides for you, rather than dealing with some sort of a fantasy in your head, deal with the reality that's right in front of you right now.
• 22:52
  And start making decisions from reality, not from potential.
• 22:55
  Because remember, the high-achieving awakening warriors, they love a freaking project.
• 22:59
  They love a project.
• 23:02
  But the thing is that if you choose a man who is a project, you are in for a world of hurt, and you are in for a world of struggle, which most of you do not want.
• 23:09
  Many of you have already realized,"Whoa, this is a problem.
• 23:13
  There's an issue.
• 23:14
  I am sick of these passive men.
• 23:15
  I am sick of these men who don't get off the couch.
• 23:18
  I'm sick of these men that all they do is play video games.
• 23:20
  I'm sick of these men who wanna be treated like a princess.
• 23:23
  I'm sick of these men who tell me I'm so capable.
• 23:26
  I'm sick of these men who keep asking me for money." Okay, girl, then stop choosing men based on their potential and instead choose men who already have the capacity to be able to pursue you The next thing that this woman needs to understand is that her power lies in selection, not conversion.
• 23:43
  So I recently did a video about the one feminine energy shift that will manifest your husband quickly, and that shift is as follows: You realize that you are the chooser.
• 23:52
  You are the one who gets to select.
• 23:54
  What a lot of you are doing is instead of being the chooser, you're becoming the converter.
• 23:59
  So what happens is you try and convert a man into choosing you.
• 24:02
  You try and convert a man into being the man that you actually say that you want.
• 24:07
  You try and turn an inconsistent man consistent.
• 24:09
  Some of y'all love to do that.
• 24:12
  So what happens is when you start to realize,"Wait a minute, I'm not playing that game anymore.
• 24:16
  I'm the one who gets to choose here from a group of healthy masculine men," well, now, now we're talking a different dynamic, and now you're more likely to repel the unhealthy men and attract the healthier men to you Now, the next thing that this woman may need to learn is that her nervous system may need to learn that love does not need to be earned.
• 24:35
  So remember in the beginning I said that a lot of times the high achieving awakening warriors learn from a young age that love and money and everything needs to be earned, and then they will take that into their relationships.
• 24:48
  So I need you to understand this.
• 24:50
  Love does not need to be earned.
• 24:53
  You do not need to audition for a man.
• 24:55
  You do not need to prove that you will be the perfect wifey.
• 24:59
  You do not need to over-function.
• 25:00
  In fact, right, healthy men are not attracted to women who over-function.
• 25:05
  That's why this whole trend on social media about do nothing for men, it actually works.
• 25:11
  The less that you do for a healthy man, the more he falls in love with you because the way that healthy men fall in love is by investing in their woman and their woman being able to receive that.
• 25:23
  So if you have this nervous system patterning around the idea of love needs to be earned, you're not in that receivership position.
• 25:31
  You're constantly over-functioning and therefore a healthy man cannot give to you.
• 25:35
  And if a healthy man cannot give to you, then he's not investing you.
• 25:39
  And if he's not investing in you, then he cannot bond and fall in love with you.
• 25:43
  So if you need to do some work around nervous system re-patterning, then I highly recommend checking out my Magnetic Woman Transformation training because this is like the best training I've done on nervous system re-patterning and regulation up until now.
• 25:56
  So I will leave the QR code here and I will also have a link below So high achieving women don't lose their power in relationships because suddenly they become weak.
• 26:05
  They lose their power because they're directing all their energy and strength toward unhealthy men, and they're directing all their energy and strength toward men who are not available and do not have the capacity to be in a relationship with her.
• 26:17
  And usually it comes down to her having beliefs that everything needs to be earned, or her having these habits that she has in every other area of her life of making stuff happen, and then translating that over into her relationships, which will never work, right?
• 26:32
  And here's the thing, when you unlearn this, when you re-pattern your nervous system, when you realize that love does not need to be earned, that you do not need to be over-functioning, and that you are supported by other people, by men, by the universe, et cetera, then you realize you don't have to work so hard anymore.
• 26:50
  You don't have to work so hard to make money because you're being provided for.
• 26:53
  You take that new energy into a new business, and you're making money from a different place.
• 26:57
  You're making money from a different energy that doesn't require so much hustle, grind, and management of everything around you at all times.
• 27:05
  And then in addition to that, you attract healthy men who want to give to you.
• 27:09
  This is when you start moving from awakening warrior and you start transitioning over into conscious queen, and then eventually the magnetic empress who has embodied this.
• 27:18
  So she's not in transition, she's not wonky, she's not performing it.
• 27:23
  She has truly embodied it, and it is her new identity.
• 27:26
  So all of this comes down to what you believe about love, what you believe about yourself in relation to love, and what you believe about struggle.
• 27:34
  And if you would like to overcome this, if you would like to re-pattern yourself for more ease and flow in your life, re-pattern your nervous system for more love, more money, more whatever it is that you want in life, then definitely make sure to check out the Magnetic Woman Transformation Training, which you can find below.
• 27:53
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
• 27:54
  I hope you found this helpful.
• 27:56
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