Latest / Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck / Interview with Dack Quigley | Awakening to Divine Potential

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Interview with Dack Quigley | Awakening to Divine Potential · Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Alive and Kicking Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Kay Eck, and this is where we talk to ordinary people about their extraordinary lives.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the podcast, everybody.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm excited to have with me a new friend, Dak Quigley.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Dak.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Kate.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really excited to talk to you today.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: You and I have a mutual friend, which is kind of how I made your acquaintance.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: And um you were at the time, you were doing something that I found so fascinating.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: I could not like, I it was like I was like constantly asking our mutual friends on about what was going on because I don't know, something about what you were doing what just captured my interest that in such a profound way.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to talk a little bit about that first.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: And what you did is you established a group of individuals who were exploring YouTube as a channel.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it as far as I could tell, that was like the baseline.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: And there were all these people coming together and having this incredibly unique and profound experience by this really somewhat casual sort of out there prompt.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I I and it and it became like such a force in these people's lives.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was wondering if you could walk us through how that happened and what what you what you did, what what happened?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was very curious because as you set that up, I was like, oh my God, which one is it gonna be?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Which what was it I was doing that had your attention?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's the YouTube thing.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it was well, you know, um, let me see.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you how it came about because it's been wildly profound in all of our lives, mine as well.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it was my idea, which I had very simply, right?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was a simple idea.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was, I think in January, I have a friend, um, Christy Page, who is a musician in LA.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she was one of my students years ago.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: She lived in my house.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: There were a bunch of us that lived together, and we were all personal development people in LA.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And she was a musician.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, and Christy, she's a total rock star, and I mean rock star in her beingness, not necessarily in her success level of the world, right?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: She just is a rock star.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And she's challenged often in her life with um, you know, her music is deep and emotional and intense because she is.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: So her journey is always fun for me as a personal development person to watch, and I want to inspire art in the world and artists.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I love Christy Page, like she's my child, right?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And she's always like on the horse, off the horse, on the horse, off the horse, playing music, not playing music.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: So she called me in January.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't talked to her in probably a year or two years.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and she just said, Dak, my life is a mess.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not playing music, I don't know what I'm doing.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just crazy, I've lost my mind.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was like, Okay, well, that sounds normal.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm sure it'll be fine.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just talk it through.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: What you got?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And she ended with, Will you coach me?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, hmm, well, I don't coach people.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I teach personal development classes um for the most part, so I do, it's not even group coaching, it's like a process that I it's like a class.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You go through a 90-day program and I facilitate it, but I don't do one-on-one coaching, even though that program involves coaching, right?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I didn't know what a personal coach did.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, Well, I don't really know what to do, Christy.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: However, how about you just call me every day and we'll just talk and we'll just get through it, whatever it is, you know, like we're having coffee.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So she said, All right, and she called me the next day, and we were just talking about her life, and I said, Well, just tell me what's been going on the last few years.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how'd you get to this stuck, terrified, terrible, everything's awful point?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Well, you know, she told me all of the stories, and then she said, I've been studying YouTube and I want to work on YouTube.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm taking my in-life seminars online.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So the one I did a class um with my a friend of mine in the fall, who's a master marketer, online marketer person.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: She's an old friend of mine.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I did her class, and one thing I caught her saying was, put your attention on YouTube.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Use YouTube.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I couldn't even find YouTube, I didn't even know where YouTube was, let alone how to get on it, right?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So here Christy says, Will you coach me?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then I ask her what's going on in your life, and she says, Well, I've become a master of YouTube, and now I manage people's YouTube channels, and I've got my own ideas and they're working and making really big successes.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, What?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I need to know YouTube.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, how about this?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: How about I'll coach you, whatever that means, and you teach me YouTube.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, how's that?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, perfect.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we she had to call me every day, and so every day for like 30 minutes we'd talk about her, and then for 30 minutes she'd teach me about YouTube.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the first thing she had to teach me, Kay, was where is YouTube?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I had to learn where the only way I could find YouTube is if it came through my Facebook and I clicked on the video, and then it took me to YouTube, but I didn't know how to get to what everybody's talking about.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: So she started teaching it to me, and I said, Okay, considering I have to start at such the beginning, you need to start at the beginning.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So don't talk about the latter, the latter stuff, because I know how to put curriculums together of things, so I knew how to, she doesn't know how to teach.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I have that brain that thinks in curriculum, and so I sort of not knowing the topic, I had to tell her how to teach me YouTube so that I could ingest it.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm also 53, so you know I frequently have to call a kid to ask how to turn my computer on.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, okay, I gotta help you teach me this because I know what inside of me is going to derail me.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So she started teaching it to me, and I said, okay, give me the overview.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Let me see the whole thing, even though I don't know what you're talking about.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then, okay, so can you teach?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, wait a minute.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I see that this is gonna be a journey.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I have to be committed to this.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm it's gonna challenge who I think I am, what I think I can do.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is a thing, even me technically, right?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: To deal with the technicality part.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So let alone the presentation, the ideas, the message, all of it.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lie.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, I'm there's no way I'm gonna stay with this if I don't have somebody doing it with me.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I need a team, right?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think in teams, I think you can't do it yourself.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: You need others around you to hold you when you're down and they're up, and then trade places, you know, so that you can support each other.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um I need a team.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I say, Christy, can you could you break this information down into three sections, like small, medium, large, or beginning, middle, end, and teach it to me like once a month.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So teach me the beginning and then let me practice for a month, and then teach me the middle and let me practice with that for a month, and then can you do that?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, yes.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what would it look like?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we laid it out, and then I said, Okay, and could I invite some friends to join us in doing this and let's do it a little more officially because I need the support, and I also have many friends that are magnificent people that maybe would benefit from learning it too, and who I truly believe the world would benefit from getting to know if they had YouTube channels, right?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I.e.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Zahn, right?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I watch them on Facebook all the time, and heard from my friend that Facebook isn't going to move you anywhere, really.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: That YouTube is going to really create an audience and you'll have something.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe my friends need to know this.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Can I enroll some people to support me and we'll be a team?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then we'll have a meeting, like on Monday nights.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: We'll so you do a class with us, like say one day on a Saturday, then we'll have a meeting every Monday.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get buddies so we can support each other, everybody can meet each other, and then we'll just support each other going through this.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Will that work?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very similar to my 90-day process, right?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's how I knew to insert it into that format.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And Chrissy said yes, and yet she's terrified to teach, but she had mentioned to me in her first phone call one thing I'd love to do that I've always thought but don't know what I would do is teach.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I had said, What would you teach?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, I don't know.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it turns out that here comes this thing randomly, right?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: That she's now going to teach.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So so in the process, I had to like deal with me as a student who's a resistant student to things he thinks he can't do, and hold Christy and help her be confident enough and believe in herself and have some real information so she could teach effectively.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a lot.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then I went and I called, I think I called 35 people and asked them to join, and 33 people said yes.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's amazing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's incredible.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: It was so what was the pitch?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: What did you say you were gonna be doing?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I well, basically, kind of what I just said to you.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: If I would call you, I'd be like, Kay, listen, my friend Christy Page, she's become a master on YouTube, right?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Had I known you, Kay, I would have called you and I would have said, Kay.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, my friend Christy, she has become a master on YouTube.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's a genius girl, she's got a brilliant artistic perspective, so she has an uh uh an educated opinion about how to help you be great in a public performance type way, you know, like YouTube.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And she's gonna teach me to do YouTube, and she's got really brilliant theories that she's applying and getting great success on YouTube.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm creating a team of all of the most amazing people I know, which most people know I know amazing people, i.e.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Kay invites me to her podcast, you know.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know you, and I'm like, well, I'm clear you're my new best friend, right?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're amazing.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know the people are gonna be great.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've asked my greatest people to join this, and we're going to do three classes over three months.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: We'll have a team meeting once a week that you don't have to come to if you don't, if you can't or you don't want to, we'll record it all and you'll learn and you'll meet new friends and probably create a thousand subscribers on YouTube in three months, which it takes most people two years to do.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: What's amazing to me is that that's a big commitment.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like once a week and and once a month, like that's that's not a small commitment.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I wonder, like in the beginning, if they knew what they were getting into.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what is the difference between what they thought they were getting into and what they ended up in?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll tell you, most of those people um have gone through.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I went through a personal development company like 12 years ago.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I went to their class, you know, just the three-day seminar that I didn't want to go to at all.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was bullshit, and they were trying to get me in a cult.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I finally went.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: After five years of saying no, I went.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, after three days, I was like, I'm gonna do every single thing you offer.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And two years later, I took over the company and ran the company in LA.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: From not wanting in, I took over two years later.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: So most of these people, like Zahn, I met at that company's advanced classes.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's how he and I became friends.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: So most of these people have like a 90-day commitment, and once a week they're like piece of cake.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: They're all people committed to excellence and growth.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if I said, if I asked you that, you probably I don't know you well, but you'd probably be like, oh, really?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or that's a huge commitment, and I'm willing to do that because I'm worth it.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just that fast, right?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that wasn't such a challenge to all of them.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: A few of the people were from my life and not from personal development experience in the past, and they had a little bit more, they weren't so challenged with the commitment.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: They were often challenged with the vulnerability and authenticity and speaking their truth openly to the group.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it took us all a little while with some people to get them to trust that they could tell us what they really felt that we wanted the truth, not what they thought we needed to hear, you know.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: However, um, so that wasn't as big of a challenge.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: What was a challenge, and it's what you picked up on, is that I thought we would just make YouTube videos and we would just publish them, and it's no big deal.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I speak this stuff in public all the time.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's what I stand for, it's who I am, it's what I read, it's what I speak, it's the movies I watch, it's music I listen to.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: What's the big deal?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you probably know from doing this alone, when you video yourself, the first thing you look at is what doesn't look right, what isn't enough, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Did I say something stupid?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Is who am I to say this?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: What my it, my editing, the lighting's not good, the angle, like there's so many things to judge that every one of us, Zahn included, and Zahn is like the world's biggest badass who just doesn't care what anybody thinks.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Every one of our hands shook the first time we pushed publish on our first video.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So make it I found that you know, in per I facilitating personal development, nobody's gonna grow until they hit resistance, right?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have to get them to resist something.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants their growth to be gentle and easy and beautiful, and it's not, right?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you said it when I first got on this with you earlier.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, to get a breakthrough, you have to have a breakdown.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So what I found was that I work very hard in a seminar setting to get them into resistance to where they're like, yeah, I know, and when they are resistant, the the human in me wants to be like, oh, here, let me fix the issue so you're happy.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: But the facilitator in me is like, move the chairs closer, turn the air conditioner down further, you know, because I need them to be uncomfortable because trying to get to the uncomfortable stuff.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I found as a personal development facilitator is YouTube is amazing at creating resistance because it hits every button.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: You judge yourself visually, what you're saying, what you're what are they gonna think, and who they are isn't your friends on Facebook, it's not your family or people you know, it's the entire world.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, man, I was very excited at first as the one sort of leading the facilitation of the process.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: We found that it wasn't you, we couldn't just deliver the information about how to make YouTube videos and how to work the algorithms of YouTube and what's all of that.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: We couldn't do that because everybody, including me, needed the personal development support of looking at what's real, what's your vision, you know, if you're bringing something new in, that you're gonna have to let go of something, right?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Some belief that I'm committed to isn't gonna work now.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you have to be in a constant mantra of I am enough, right?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully be serving.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: What we found what I found as usual, which is how I think you're probably sent to me to be my new best friend, is that the real way to get yourself through those dark, hard things that would normally stop you is to be called for a bigger vision, to be on a bigger mission than just about you, right?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we kept returning to why would you make this video?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: What do you have to say?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: How is it gonna benefit anybody?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And are you doing it for you?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing it for a higher calling?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, are you serving a bigger purpose in the world in what you're saying than just trying to get subscribers on YouTube or you know, look good?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's amazing because I told I told you before we came on that I only prepared one question for you and it was regarding purpose.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: So I'll get to that, I'll get to that in a little in a little bit.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I it I also want to add that because I was able to peek in on one of the um one of the meetings, that the people had wildly divergent reasons for being on YouTube and what they wanted to offer.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: And yet it was such a catalyst for those things that you're talking about, to like really look at some of those hidden things that we have that staying off of YouTube, they don't come up because it it's like it has this unique ability to bring all that stuff to the surface, you know, the idea of being public and being like pretend, you know, like are you pretending or are you being authentic or you know, the whole ball of wax?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's just like and also like the other fascinating thing to me was that you got people to your your those um those meetings were lengthy, like hours and hours, some of them.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: All of them, three hours, so you know that like in order for people to be engaged for that long a period of time, they're like really learning from other people.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I I just love this um idea of a support team going through things with other people.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I don't really have that in my life right now, and I really want that, and actually, yeah.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: You just got it.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: I told you, you're my new best friend.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're making a group right now, okay?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: All right, oh my gosh.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I I am kind of used to getting out of my comfort zone.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like it at all.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: I hate it like everybody, but I I know that like that is where the growth is, and that I'm gonna be bigger and I'm gonna be bolder and I'm gonna be more expansive and you know, more everything when I when I do that, but it's so hard.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's so hard.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, do you think it gets easier the more you do it?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's absolutely okay.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the hard never goes away.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I always tell people like, as you grow, the challenges get bigger, so it never seems easier because my challenges are bigger than they were last year, though I'm stronger and clearer and wiser and more capable and more confident, so I can meet the bigger challenge, but the the the fear or the hard part of it stays the same, it just keeps getting bigger as I do, you know.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: But it seems to me that once you get that, once that really happens and you see it's truly possible to do something bigger or better or more in your own life, when you feel those inner things change and become something more, whatever that is, um, it's like you get the taste for that, and then I want it.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: The inner me wants that enough that it can now override the outer me, which is more resistant.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because even when my friend invited me to do the first seminar I ever went to, it took five years to get me to do it.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's how resistant I am.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: I I love that, and the you know, I feel like so many of us we think we're content in our smaller version lives, but something like gnaws at us from the inside, you know, it almost feels like your skin is too tight, or you're you're have you have like this itch you can't scratch, and it that's what that's what is knocking on your door is this invitation to expansion, to be more more of who you actually are.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like you can go through your life tamping that down and ignoring it, it's not gonna stop, especially now.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: It feels like now it's it's so full on that you can't ignore it anymore, you know.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in our world right now, the world is changing and so quickly and so intense, the challenges are so big in our world for for all of us together and every individual that if you don't step forward and start to Grow, I fear for your the ability to survive this, right?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: As the world is changing.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm talking climate change, political change, um, spiritual change, physical, you know, down to the chemicals in the food and erosion of the dirt, you know, the chemicals in the air, or you know, last week it was hot and this week it's cold.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like uh oh.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Better prepare.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: And and to me, it's you know, a little bit less about a defensive posture than a offensive posture, so that it's in these bigger spaces that we find bigger solutions to our to our circumstances, like the divine wisdom, the the you know, the the flow of all that is, you know, stepping into that is where we're gonna find those big things.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So well, and I do see, I'll say this that even those challenge, the challenges we're facing as a humanity, as a species, down to the challenges I'm facing as DAC today in my life.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think all of those are here for us to do the work to find out what we truly are, right?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: To find out what I am.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's that's why I think all of us have a mission.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think we all have a gift, we all have a message, there's a reason I'm here, and it's every single person.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: And how many people I meet constantly coming to say, hey, here's a process you could go through that will help you to know this in yourself.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so many people will say, You must not be talking to me, because I don't.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, if you're a human on this planet, you're here for a reason, you have a gift, you matter as much as anybody else to the big hole.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if you go find that the big hole with the W, I was like, wait, I think I just defined the divine as a big hole.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not that big hole, maybe, I don't know.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: However, that journey, I think, is why we're all here.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: I look, I like that there are more challenges in the time I live than normal because I think it's called it's forcing me to, you know, even if you get to that calling out of how did you say it?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not out of defense.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Even if defense brings you to the call, right?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: You'll find out quickly.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: So what defend?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's their defend?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna die anyway.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: While I'm here, let me explore what I am.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, speak for yourself on that one.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to um I want to ask you a question about purpose, as I said.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: So um what what is your relationship to purpose?
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like how has that moved you through your life, or how has it pulled you through your life, or what you know what what has it meant in different times of your life?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wow, through my whole life.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, um for myself, I think I don't think I'd even made I don't even think I used the word or knew the concept of what that meant until later in my life.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I do I am a weird person, sort of.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have a weird storyline in my childhood because I wasn't raised by typical parents, you know, they were crazy, wacko, do whatever you want.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: People just I always say I was raised in a zoo by gorillas, you know, in the circle who worked in the circus.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like my parents were pretty much do what you want, and anything I did, they celebrated, you know, and they would just l revel in Dak dances to the beat of his own drum.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it was bizarre, you know, compared to what most people go through being told what to do.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: My parents were anti-religion, anti, well, really anti-everything, other than just do what you want and be yourself, and we love you as you are.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: They used to, they taught me early on, do whatever you want, just do it the best you can.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was pretty fun, it was pretty magnificent, you know, something magnificent to say to a kid.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that that was great, you know, until I got older, especially now doing seminars.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: I listen to people's stories and constantly think God you were lucky.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I think be and I they weren't doing it like find your purpose or you have one, you know.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: They were just like, don't listen to people they don't know, just be happy and be yourself because you're awesome.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it it led me to just do whatever I wanted and to somewhat be um trusting of whatever I wanted to do and being really just myself, and even though it was different than others, I just did it, you know.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: People will say you're you're you're luckier than most people.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I don't think I'm lucky.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: I do think maybe luck, I don't know if it was luck, but what I was given as a foundation is beneficial.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: However, it's not too late for you to embrace that, right?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been programmed into you that you have to play by all these rules.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you can, you know, get in touch with your true self, you'll start to see what is being told to me as to what I should be versus what am I really or what do I want.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I was easily successful in other people's eyes, right?
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I went to the seminar and two years later took over the company.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's very common to me.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I went to school to be a hairdresser years ago at a Veda, and I'd been cutting hair since I was five years old because that was like a you know a weird trick.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just some reason knew.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just knew how to cut hair.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, the first thing you guys don't know this, the first thing I said to Kay when I met her today is, I love your haircut.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's even better when you do that.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyway, I was easily successful, which um led me to a point in my life where I was like, Are you kidding?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Is this it?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Am I just alive to do whatever I want and succeed where everybody thinks I'm lucky?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: It means nothing to me.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: So so I even from that standpoint, I had to trip and fall into the abyss to start to question, what am I?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And am I doing what I really want or am I doing what I know I'm good at and I will succeed?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, so I still came to that dark moment of the soul of why am I here?
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: It can't just be to make money because at 40, I was super rich, I owned multiple businesses, I was on television daily.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: I lived in Honolulu in the most gorgeous house with the most gorgeous cars.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: If I wanted a different one, I could go write a check today.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Surrounded by people that thought I was the greatest thing ever.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought I was sitting there like, are you kidding me?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is the rest of my life, is to just have whatever I want.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is completely unfulfilling.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I was just gonna say, like, effortlessness is not fulfilling.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't.
• 29:27
  unknown: Wow.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody said you should shut up.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: You won.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sitting there, like, I won the game.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know I was playing your game and I won your game.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: I have everything you want, and I don't even know if it's what I want.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that was that was before I did personal development work.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I at one point said, I give.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'd ended a relationship.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'd been in a long-term relationship for 10 years.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my partner, David, was a dancer, that's what took us to Hawaii, and um he left Hawaii.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even like Hawaii, I don't like the heat.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't go to the beach, I don't want sand on my in my feet.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I was like, everybody's like, your life's a dream.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, my life is hell.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, you're insane.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I basically at one point sat with myself for a while, I don't know how long, and it's when David left, and I was like, Well, this is your life.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: You should sit here and shut up until you die.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just keep winning, and it means nothing.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, what would I love to do?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: What would I love if I could do anything?
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: What would it be?
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I want to be a filmmaker, I want to make a movie.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I turned off my cable so that I would sit at my computer and I wrote a movie for a year, and then I basically took every dollar I had, I got rid of my businesses, I sold the car, I sold the house, and I put all of the money into a movie.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got done filming it and I was like, oh, I'm terrible at technology, I can't take it any further.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have to go get people enrolled who can do that for me.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I went to that seminar.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I've spent the last 12 years in the personal development industry, which goes clear to January when I'm like, I don't want to make movies anymore.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love the idea of YouTube, like getting to speak what I teach and am in line with the creativity of YouTube and editing and the and Christy calls and says, Will you coach me?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I say, Sure, you teach me YouTube.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like I finally came back to the next step as a filmmaker, but I had to take a 12-year hiatus to go through personal development.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: How's that?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: What happened to the movie though, before we go on?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's actually so that's a terrifying question to me.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um a year ago, dur at the beginning of quarantine, when I was sitting, you know, doing nothing for the first few months.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, that movie is still sitting in that case, and it has not been touched.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it had gotten to a friend of mine in Honolulu, because when I left, I left it on the island with the guy who was supposed to be editing it, but it didn't happen.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it a friend of mine went and got it from him, and it's in my friend's closet.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: So a year ago, um it was brought to me.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: My friend was coming from Hawaii, and I didn't want to ship it for fear it'd get lost.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: So bomb thong.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's on uh mini cassette discs or mini cassette tapes.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the last guy um transferred most of them onto hard drive because we were afraid that it was gonna get deteriorated and not be useful.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: The star of my movie was a five-year-old girl, and I just found out the other day that she's pregnant, she's married, and she's having her first baby, and she was five when we shot my film.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, uh-huh.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so, right now, my film is with a friend of mine who is now going to start the editing process, and because of YouTube, I can now edit, and I now have 12 years of technology advancements that I can do it right here in my lap, you know, myself.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: So the movie's back on now, 12 years later.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's incredible.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, it I just love the way life happens like that.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's just, you know, if you just wait long enough, it's gonna want to be.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I do feel there's some sort of there, like I don't think that the divine is thinking, right?
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's there to be experienced and it is present always, but I think it's my energy that's engaging with it, that's taking me on the journey I'm on.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I do think what was stopping me from, because I was attempting to do the whole thing as a filmmaker, but when I got halfway through it, which most people can't get to, the part of filming it and finishing it, most people the easy part is the technical part at the end.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: The creative part is the hard part, or the message, or what am I gonna make it about?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't mine, and I do think that my inner programming of how anti or non-technical I am stopped me.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why I found my way to personal development to spend a decade finding out what is it inside me that says I can't.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you can, I could figure it out.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the irony is that I thought, you know, when we got to YouTube, I was like, oh, it's just YouTube, and a few weeks into it, I'm like, these are little tiny movies.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: These are this is a oh my god, this bypasses all of the crap of Hollywood, all of the rules and the system and all of that.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody can make a YouTube channel create a bigger audience than you would have as Steven Spielberg.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: If your message speaks, and you know, as you said before, you know, if you're able or willing to be authentic and vulnerable and shut off all those voices and just show up, people respond to that, especially today.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they do.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that's I feel like that's all they want.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's no tolerance for anything that's not that anymore.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_02: So, which is really exciting because it means that everybody does truly have something to bring to the table, something important that that people are hungry for.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're hungry to like know each other authentically.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that's you know, kind of really what's driving it.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why the the guru student model isn't working anymore.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's because it doesn't allow that connection because it's like cut off, it's just top-down, you know.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_02: So um yeah.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to ask a question about personal development.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: So is would you define that as a spiritual path?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Or I guess it doesn't necessarily have to be, but what is it for you?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: Only that.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Only that.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's uh that's gigantic, okay?
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I tell the people when they play my game, like, I'm like, you know, this looks like a personal development game, but what is personal development?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we get down, if we just started with those two words, what's personal?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: What's you, right?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: If this is you, your person that's going to develop, explain that person to me, right?
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Start with why are you here?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: Where'd you come from?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: What how much do you matter?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is this I that I am, right?
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm here to develop myself, my I, me, right?
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what is that?
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: So anytime you start to question that or identify that, you're on a spiritual journey, right?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: So to me, this is all a spiritual journey.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: Everything going to the grocery store is a spiritual journey, right?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_02: One of the biggest.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for myself, like I was raised by parents who were against religion, right?
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I could play with anybody in the neighborhood, but not the Christians.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: They were like, stay away from them.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think they told me when I was three that I was, I think they they told me I was different than other kids, and I could be I could be right if the whole world thought I was wrong.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it took me till I was 11 to figure out that it was because I had boyfriends instead of girlfriends that that's what they were talking about.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what that meant.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: So um I refused to say the word God.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was opposed to all religion, anything spiritual.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I get brought to Honolulu, where every master woo-woo person in the world moves to Hawaii, right?
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Every great, every one of my clients cutting hair, they're like, I clean chakras, I'll I'll I'll wipe out your aura and replace it with divine sparkle of the goddess mother peanut butter.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like every one of them.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: I do I've been doing Reiki on you since I've been in the waiting room.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like every one of them, and I'd be like, oh by God's sake, why?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: So but I loved them, right?
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um got exposed to all of it.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've had all my chakras aligned and my aura, you know, everything.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've sat in Sedona with the bowls on the mountaintop with the smoke on my face and loved it, right?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: But always been like, this is silly.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: So then um when I was 40, uh, one of the facilitators that worked for my old company, he was also a um minister for the Center of Spiritual Living.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, um, you know the Centers for Spiritual Living?
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: So my friend, who was a facilitator of personal development for my old company, um did a class with me.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: I had just moved to LA and I had just taken over running the classes.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is before I took over the company, and he spent the weekend with me, and at the end of the weekend he said, You know one word you don't say?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What?
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, God.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: You don't say the word God.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you know also, I noticed that when people around you say the word God, your lip snarls.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: You don't like it.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, You're right.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even, you can't even be in my life if you say the word God.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: I want nothing to do with it.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, What?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: We sat on a park bench for 15 minutes waiting for the students to leave, and he said, Dak, what's your issue with God?
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, it's all of everybody's definition of it, and I don't agree with their definition because often their definition makes me bad or wrong, and I don't fit it, and I have to do certain things to be effective or valuable.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: But remember my childhood?
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like my childhood, you don't have to do anything to be accepted, you're perfect as you are.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, that's why I have issue with every religion.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: I want nothing to do with any of it, it's all bad.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, but why are you letting their definition of God keep you from having a relationship with it?
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: And and I caught that he was calling God it, right?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, I'll talk to you a little, you can go a little further.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, okay, so do you have an idea of what you think it, that thing that is God is?
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Yeah, I think it's everything.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Okay, well then look around and point something out right here.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: Find something that we're looking at.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, that bucket.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a bucket sitting out.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: We were out behind like the kitchen of this hotel we had taught the class in that weekend.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, That bucket, and he said, Okay, look at that bucket until you can see that it is God.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Okay, Smarty Pants, I'll call your bluff.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I looked at the bucket, and it took me just a few minutes to feel like it's all God.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Everything, like, where did everything come from?
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: It all came from God.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: Somehow the material that became that bucket was got probably the idea of the bucket came from that thing, too.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: So clearly that bucket is god.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can see how that bucket is God.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Good, there you go.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What do you mean, there I go?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, Okay, do it again, pick out something else.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, Oh, I'm gonna mess with you, you crazy, you're religious and not just you're just pretending.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, that pile of dog crap.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, and I knew, like, oh, that's gonna throw you.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Okay, look at that pile of dog crap until you can see that it is God.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, you sneaky, okay, I'm gonna.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked at it and it just took a minute, and I was like, I see that that's God.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, Okay, so then you are very clear on what God is.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe put your attention to exploring that for yourself versus putting your attention on what other people think God is, because that's keeping you from it.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you look at their definition, it's keeping you from having a relationship with it at all.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: And when you put your attention on it, you have the ability to see it everywhere.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, and in our business right now, are we not here to, we're not here to show people who they are, we're here to support them in finding out who they are.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: Are you clear on who they are?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see that all of those people are God too?
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like very easily.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, do you not think that that's great value for a reason for you to be alive to share that with the people to help them to see that?
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if they don't, is there not value in you seeing it for them?
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that feels like a purpose.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sitting on a park bench behind, we were hidden from the students, so they wouldn't see us, right?
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a wall.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're behind the kitchen, the plant pots and plans are clanking.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at a pile of dog crap, and I have a spiritual awakening to benefit.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_00: Is that in their classes, you could and I've watched it a million times, you can be a Christian and go through the process and become a better Christian.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can be Muslim, become a better Muslim.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can be an atheist, become a better atheist, right?
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about the title.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: However, I also went, do you know Michael Beckwith?
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so Michael Beckwith comes from the Center for Spiritual Living.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: He separated from them and started Agape at Church in LA, but.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: So he kind of even left the dogma of the Center for Spiritual Living.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: He's more Ernest Holmes.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: So he teaches from Ernest Holmes teachings, basically.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: So Michael Bequith came to my company in our headquarters for our big yearly event.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I had moved to LA.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, oh, Michael Bethquith matches us?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: He's one of those, he's that religious guy in LA.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: I thought he was a religious guy, right?
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is before the dog prep thing.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I moved to LA, I was like, oh, I'm gonna go to Agape, the first time I'll ever go to church in my life.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: Again, church, and I'm gonna enroll all those people at his church into my classes.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I went the first Sunday and I sat in the class, and they or I sat in the class, I sat in the service or whatever, and I we I sang with the people, the words were on the screen, and the words on the screen said, I don't remember which song.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: I could probably sing it because I do sing it a lot, but it's in that song, it called God it.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: And when it called it it, I was like, wait a minute, what are you people doing?
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're not speaking the same dogma as everybody else.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: It would be him or at least or them, but you're calling it it.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're letting me define what that is, okay.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I got so enrolled in their thing that I went to Agape three times on Sunday and on Wednesday too.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: I would say I turned into a damn Baptist.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was like fully committed to their church.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't enroll one person from their church into my classes.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've I took every one of their classes, I was there in the front row, you know.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: But and Michael would say his sermon is you are God, you are a divine manifestation of the power that created all of this.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be less than that.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: Be go share that love.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: Go, you be are the joy, you are abundance.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just be it.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's your natural state.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: Let all of the things that tell you you're not go away.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: But then I would leave his service and go in the parking lot, and they would like cut me off and flip me off.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like, because it's LA, right?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd be like, so I've I would always be to Michael, like, Michael, listen, you're telling me to go be the God I am.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I can't is because I have a subconscious that tells me what I'm not, which isn't true, right?
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: All of my subconscious programming is what's keeping me thinking I'm not divine, and I need something to connect me to the divine.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: That, but I am divine, but my subconscious says I'm not, and it says I'm less than, and I'm not smart enough, and I'm not pretty enough, and I'm too old, and I'm too fat, and I don't have enough hair, right?
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, Michael, you gotta get into the subconscious and find out what's stopping us from activating that inner voice that's programmed from childhood, because that's what we teach at my company.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: But then I'd go back to work and we would deal with the subconscious and get you to the point where you could tell what is a program, right?
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_00: What's been programmed into me to think versus what's real about me.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the moment we got you through that to the end for the spirit to the spiritual, we let you go.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I would be like, so I would tell them, you guys, we gotta go further.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta just step one step further into I am that divine.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: I am, I'm not the God that sat and spent seven days making the planet, but I don't necessarily think that's how it happened anyway.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: However, I'd not say I'm God and I sat and I'm, you know, I'm not listening to your prayers at night.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: I might be actually, but you know, we don't know.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I am of that.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I'm not, then explain to me how did I come out of a woman's body?
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: And when I die, I don't think I'm dead.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: And why do I keep having all these bizarre experiences?
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think of my sister and she calls, or I get really clear on a vision and somebody calls and offers it to me in two seconds.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I keep having these things I call coincidence?
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Why do they keep happening?
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if I get my thoughts in alignment with those, I seem to have the power to create that's like that of God.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in my classes, I teach that you are literally creating your life as God when you use the words I am, because whatever you say you are, you are.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I would tell Michael, you got to work on the subconscious.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd go to work working on the subconscious, say, You gotta talk about the divine.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then one day I'd yell at both of them, and both of them said to me, If that's your vision, that's not my vision, that's your vision.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: You should go do that.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then I read in a book, it's a line that said, If I see it's missing, it's because I'm not bringing it.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, I have to quit.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I just quit again.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: I got rid of everything, and they're all like, Are you crazy?
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: You just came in and won the game.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you going?
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't know.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: But apparently I have a vision and I have to go pursue that.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I started my own personal development company.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and I created that 90-day program, and I needed coaches, and that's when I called Zahn.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_00: He was one of the first people I called and said, Hey, I need coaches.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: Will you coach my program?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea what we're doing, but I think it's gonna be great.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: And awesome.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_02: I don't yeah, that's like a beautiful full circle moment.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_02: I want to circle back to something that you said um that you ask people when they um come to you or uh for personal development on the personal development path, and that is how much do you matter?
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm wondering two things whether that question kept you on the edge of your resistance, and in what ways, and then also how do you find that other people encounter that question?
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because you're you're it's it's different than the question or or the statement that you matter, it's like, but how much?
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because that has to do with how you're seeing yourself, like you can matter this much, an inch, or you can matter the ocean, you know, like it's a big deal.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: So tell walk me through that.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: And are you asking me how much do I think each person matters?
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_02: Or how do people encounter that question?
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_02: How did you encounter that question?
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: Got it.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's so brilliant, Kay.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: I because I think that's probably the essence of the challenge.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you said takes you to the edge of my resistance, do you mean in a positive and a negative way?
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because if I acknowledge I'm at my edge, most people would choose to get away from it.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_00: I myself, or probably you, would choose to go into it, but I do think that's the edge right there is how much do I matter?
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because, well, I suppose people that turn to suicide today are saying, I don't, and I don't enough that I could go and everybody's fine, even though they know they really do, and many are gonna be devastated, they think they'll be better off without them.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's so far from the truth, right?
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think most people don't well, that's it right there.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: You asked, is personal development a spiritual journey?
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I think life is a spiritual journey, right?
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the we're not physical beings having a spiritual experience, we're spiritual beings having a physical experience.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: So if I am a spiritual being here to experience the human, which seems less in some way than the spiritual being that I am, um, I think it's inherent that I'm gonna challenge how much do I matter?
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because the question, how am I a spiritual being and this physical being, when I can only understand from the physical being's perspective, you know?
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and in my work, I look at this thing and see though it's a machine, right?
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_00: This thing can be learned to be used like a computer.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing I am is not this thing, it's the one watching this thing, right?
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I can be this thing and the one watching it at the same time.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if I am this one watching it, right, which I in my class in my presentations I say, you know, um close your eyes, walk upstairs in your house and look down from the second floor.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see yourself sitting downstairs?
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, walk up and get on the roof of your house.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: Can you look down and see the one on the second floor and the one on the first floor?
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you can fly up above your town.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see your house?
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: So just that far, who is that you that can see that?
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's the watcher, that's the spirit, that's the bigger you, that's the spirit you.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_00: So they're both here, right?
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if I can get in touch with I am that and I'm this, then what is this?
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: What is this one?
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: So then how could I, if I am that much, how could I be less than how much do I matter?
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_00: All of it.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_00: So the spiritual journey, I think, is that question right there is how much do I matter?
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because the more I lean into I matter, the more I matter, right?
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or the more the journey keeps unfolding.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um I could go to a thousand places.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: I do think at the end of my process, once we hit spiritual, I say, I these are my bedrocks, right?
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_00: My um, your life is not yours.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_00: Which inherent in there is you matter as much as everything.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's everything and you.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's how much you matter.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_00: And you are going to die and you will be forgotten by all of this.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_00: So make it great while you're here.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where that one goes to.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: I doubt that dies, and I assume it's gonna make this look silly, right?
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: However, I think so.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think you I mean ultimately what I've come to is I matter greatly and not at all.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's that is exactly uh there's a quote that the Dalai Lama spoke one time, and it's he said, We're all important, but not that important.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I learned really good to remember.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as a facilitator, one of the main things I learned that supports me in being able to take in all those all the trauma from people and then participate like it's the first time every day, because when you see the struggle of the world, when you have the ability to look at the pain and suffering and empathize with it, it hurts because it's a lot in the world.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's why it's easier to look away, because it's too much to deal with.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the great healers or the great saints on our planet, um, one I follow is Ama.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know Ama?
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, that's my that's my that's my guru.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love her.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I watch her and think, how do you do this?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how do you do this?
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: But what helps me in doing it is similar, and it's um you have to care, but not that much.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, wow.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it kind of allows you to stay in the game, like I care, and not so much that I'll get lost in it or destroy myself because the pain exists, right?
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_00: And the same thing as I matter and not that much.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it's been this way for you, but that that that speaks to something that I'm thinking about, whereby your your your sort of journey through this lifetime or these lifetimes, you come in as a human, and then eventually your path leads you to understand the spiritual nature of life.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then you have to integrate them.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be both at the same time.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like certainly for me, um, that's where I am right now.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's like phase three, it's the hardest of all because I don't feel like, well, there's there's very few models for what that actually feels like because each of us is unique, and so only we have the key to that formula, and that is like uh one of our purposes is to find out how the divine operates as me.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_02: And that is enough purpose for one like too.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like you don't need to really need a job other than to like it's in the way, unless you work it into your job, and then they're gonna go because that's really what we're here for.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I look at it like when I laid out my process, because in my 90-day process, um, I consider it a spiritual journey.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, but I can't I can't tell people that at the front because I'm not gonna be your spiritual guru.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not your guru, and I'm not your leader, right?
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: All I'm doing is facilitating for you on a journey if you choose to take that.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on my own journey, right?
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_00: My journey doesn't benefit from you following me, right?
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_00: My journey benefits from me following me, so don't let me be your leader and I'm not your guru.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I don't sell it like that to the people because I don't think you have to.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think they need to get on.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, the first level, so I look at spiritual development in four levels, and I've just come up with this from all of the teachers or learnings or whatever.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it's similar to others or um what, but I this is just how I sort of thumb sketch it, right?
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I want to participate with it and walk through the journey myself, and I want to walk others through the journey too for them, but I don't want to identify their journey for them.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_00: However, I look at it all in four steps.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I've laid them out in my process, in my game, the first level of spiritual growth is um step one.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: Step two in personal development or in the spiritual journey is so those are the players, the ones who play my game.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then there's coaches.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_00: So people that have played the game come back and coach it.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching is the second level of spiritual development.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then there's a coach of the coaches.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: That player, that person plays at the third level of spiritual development, and then there's the position I hold looking at it all, sort of.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, it is there, but it's not well, I'll tell you, it doesn't matter.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the fourth level of spiritual development.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I myself identify these levels where I'm at in my life constantly, and I'm and I'm in multiple levels with all different issues in my life at any given time, right?
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_00: I go up and down too.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_00: So the first level of player, when you play my game, it's in essence a journey of from victim to responsible, right?
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_00: From the world is happening to me to I am making everything in my reality, not just my own experience, but everybody else's from my thoughts.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_00: It exists because I'm creating it with my thought.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_00: I am responsible.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not to blame, but I am creating it with the use of my thoughts.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a lot to look at your life and say, whatever you have that you don't want, you're putting it there based on your thinking.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_00: Anything you don't have that you do want, you're keeping it from you with your own thoughts.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you can move into responsible, changing your thinking, which is why we must deal with the subconscious, because that's way bigger than the conscious mind, then you have the power to create whatever you want.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't care if that's ending racism or losing 20 pounds or making a billion dollars or being able to feed your children, right?
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or attract the love of your life, or write a book and be a bestseller, or just stop the trauma of the day and experience a moment of joy.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, it's from victim to responsible level one.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_00: Level two in my process is the coaches.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: And um, back to kind of the essence of Ernest Holmes, which is I can't heal you.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: I all I can do is ignore so if you want more abundance in your life, I can stand knowing the abundance that I am, and I can know that for you, and you will follow that.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's basically quantum physics, um, which says that the watcher is stronger than the one that's being watched.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: So who's seeing you is more effective or more powerful than who you are seeing yourself as.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_00: So be very careful who you surround yourself with, right?
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because they you will become what they think.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you have already gone through victim responsible where I'm in charge, not you.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, but in my own personal journey, when I get to level two, how I view you is what you become.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then therefore, my vision starts to ripple bigger in the world based on how I view others around me.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: If I see love, I'm creating more love in the world.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: Even if what I'm looking at doesn't look like love, right?
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_00: So my perspective and my interaction with others and how I hold them and see them is part of extending my reach further into the world.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: My view is extremely important.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_00: Is this a is this world on my side or against me?
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_00: That will determine that that right there will set everything up, right?
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: So my perspective is powerful and I multiply my impact based on my interactions with others, right?
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's second level.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_00: Third level, doing God's work as Dak.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_00: Dak is doing God's work on purpose.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_00: What is God's work?
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_00: So reaching that level of, oh, I'm mattering, right?
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_00: Dak is doing bold things.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hold calm, stay humble, don't go be speak it.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_00: If it's scary, do it, right?
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_00: For guaranteed, without question, Kay is doing God's work as Kay in this podcast.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_00: Guaranteed, for sure, because you told me at the beginning when you set the intention, you said that we called on our higher selves to speak the greatest truth that would help anybody who needed to hear it, basically, right?
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's God's work.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_00: And Kay's doing God's work, so's Dak, because they both said yes, right.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's third level, and then fourth level is doing God's work is God.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like just so that point, that's where you don't matter, because it's not me anyway.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's this me?
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_00: I am, right?
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_00: So just showing up who cares if Dak did it or Kay did it or he did it, who cares about credit?
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like Amma, who's the one I follow, speaks of Alma in the third person.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_00: She'll say Alma needs to go to the bathroom, like she's more connected to this than this.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_00: And this thing has diabetes, so she can't eat this thing got a disease, right?
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_00: But she knows she's this thing, and it allows her to you know spread love into a world that doesn't seem to be benefiting from it necessarily, you know.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_02: So oh my gosh, I have a feeling like that is going to work its way through me for a while.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: Which way?
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_00: What part doing God was God?
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_02: These levels.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, yeah, that's gonna I can feel already feel it's like doing something.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'll let you know.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, um, this has been such an amazing conversation.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do you mind if we switch over to my uh to the lightning round?
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_02: No, okay.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I feel like I need a like a minute, you know?
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dak, tell me, how would you define consciousness?
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_00: Consciousness.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is the lightning round.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're saying answers next.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_02: The questions are quick.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_02: The answers don't have to be.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, okay.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, consciousness.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh, I think that's God.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I define God.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_00: God is consciousness itself, of which I don't believe it's conscious, but it is consciousness, right?
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I could name it, so now I'm naming God, right?
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just read a thing this morning from Alma talking about um if you want to support the COVID relief issues in how in India where she lives and is being traumatized, chant the thousand names of God.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I always think, oh my god, there's a thousand.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then I also think, well, isn't everything a name of God?
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_00: If everything's God, so cell phone, computer, mug, shirt, goatee, K, refrigerator.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like those are the names of God, Ama, you know.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: So what is consciousness?
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's God, I think it's all of this.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_00: How I play with that is um like I play with it like it's a mathematical equation, right?
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_00: It responds to energy and my being, and we can use thoughts and feelings and experiences and others, and and I think that this whole place is a playground.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think there, you know, when people are like, oh, that's a miracle, I'm like, no, walking on water, not a miracle.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_00: Miracle is you.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're a miracle.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_00: Cut your arm, it heals, right?
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_00: Put food in, it uses it for energy, and then it's expels waste.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing, right?
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_00: When I pee every day, I'm like, I this is a miracle, right?
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_00: You hear a strange noise.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm afraid I'm like, oh, that's God, that's a miracle.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_00: Life is a miracle.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm here.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have goosebumps all over my legs.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_00: My legs are a miracle.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_00: My goosebumps are a miracle.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, engaging it is what is so exciting.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_00: Defining it is boring as hell, really, you know.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: Consciousness, I think it's God.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's all of this.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_02: One of the things that I've been playing with lately that's been like a really personal practice to me is um when I'm going through something, I I feel like, wow, like God's wanting to experience this.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_02: And the only way that God can do that is through me experiencing this.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it it um it kind of like takes the edge off, you know, if it's really intense to know that um that it's it's a holy pursuit, you know, it's it's yeah.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it's built into and built into my perspective as well, is that I am the way the universe sees itself.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because if consciousness is God, but consciousness is not conscious, I'm conscious.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I can be conscious of my experience.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so it is conscious as my consciousness.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_00: I am the way God experiences the all of this as this thing you call Dak, right?
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it is that it is somewhat, I don't necessarily I mean you could see using that as a trick to not to almost be in denial of I'm not experiencing pain or suffering right now, because this is really God experiencing it, not me.
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that'd be all right, as long as you are clear that I am that thing that's experiencing it, right?
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_00: To not deny your experience, to experience it so that it can really experience it.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're doing it to deny it, then God is experiencing denying some experience, right?
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the challenge in there, what you said is God must want to experience this, but I don't think consciousness is conscious.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't think God wants.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm really tripping now.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:08:11
  SPEAKER_02: Uh question number two What characteristic do you love most about yourself?
• 1:08:18
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 1:08:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's really that's you know, dang it, I still want to say the ones that I really love, and yet the one that I really love is um probably the one I resist the most, which is oh well, I'll say that and then I'll say the one that's behind it.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: The real one is caring.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just care deeply in every way for every single thing, right?
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just care.
• 1:08:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the only place it really becomes a challenge usually is if it's being applied toward myself, right?
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's the biggest struggle for all of us, I think, is caring for me deeply for real.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, however, I think the one I value most is caring because I care like a like a blinding heart, right?
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_00: My first response wants to be playful and irreverent, you know.
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm like, no, it's really care.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would like mine to be playful and irreverent too, but mine is devotion.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_02: I I um like not just devoted to you know, God or you know, spiritual pursuits or whatever, but it's like more like the willingness, you know, like the willingness to be here and to keep moving forward and to keep pressing forward and whatever this mystery is, you know, the devotion to that.
• 1:09:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, number three, what is the craziest thing you ever did as a kid?
• 1:09:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my! Oh brother.
• 1:10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Dang, as a kid, what's the craziest thing I ever did?
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um crazy.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking dangerous.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_00: That was probably what I'd call dangerous.
• 1:10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is the first thing that comes to mind.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_00: You still have the greatest ideas ever, and they were terrible.
• 1:10:19
  SPEAKER_00: One time, my best friend's driveway was a really steep hill down to the below part where the garage was.
• 1:10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you'd leave the street up by the front of the house and go down this steep driveway.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And at the bottom, the front yard went straight over half the house.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So halfway down this driveway, there was this cliff, right?
• 1:10:40
  SPEAKER_00: The front yard would go out here and you'd stand at the edge looking down at the driveway, and the driveway went down like that.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one time I decided it was a great idea to put two skateboards down below on the flat part of the driveway, and then drive my bicycle off the cliff and land it on the two skateboards, and then ride the skateboards on my bike when I landed on it.
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, how did that work?
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know how that worked.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_02: That is so similar to one of mine.
• 1:11:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I just, yes, I used to um I there was a park that was probably like a mile away from my house, and I had to ride it ride through this college, and then there was like this gravel parking lot, and then there was like this skinny gate, and then you would come up onto the street, and then I lived, you know, two or three streets down, and then over.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I am riding home no-handed on my bike.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_02: All the way, all the way, like I am going all the way, and it was like it's like uh I want to say it's like a 20-minute ride through like there were like jumps off of curves and gravel, you know, and then and then hills and surfaces and all this stuff.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I I did it.
• 1:11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, I gotta know how far you got.
• 1:11:59
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
• 1:12:01
  SPEAKER_00: You did it, you didn't fall, no broken, nothing, nothing, but I knew I could do it.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_02: I knew I could do it, and it was like, yeah, go.
• 1:12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I know it worked.
• 1:12:16
  SPEAKER_02: It must have been like on America's got town or something.
• 1:12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that is a powerful moment that you knew you could do it and then you did it.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because you laid it out, you laid it out like it's impossible.
• 1:12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, how far did you get?
• 1:12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, say I got all the way home.
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:12:33
  SPEAKER_02: And that includes like, you know, changing speeds and you know, I had such, I I was like, I've always been like married to a bike.
• 1:12:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like I have such it's like a it it's like a freedom, it's like wings to me.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so like I was like more powerful on the bike than I was like just like ordinary K, you know.
• 1:12:55
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 1:12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do you use that story to tell yourself I can do it if I just put my mind to it?
• 1:13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I do not, but I I do have a story that I tell, and that is that everything seems overwhelming at first, and all I have to do is take one step.
• 1:13:14
  SPEAKER_02: One step, one small action, that's all I need to worry about.
• 1:13:19
  SPEAKER_02: And it works for me every time.
• 1:13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And you learned that from early on?
• 1:13:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've it's been around for a while.
• 1:13:27
  SPEAKER_02: Anytime, you know, like I've done a lot of like um I used to work for a PR firm and I used to like organize giant events or you know, these giant campaigns for major corporations.
• 1:13:44
  SPEAKER_02: And and so like I think like I just got used to the idea that at first these things are overwhelming.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_02: And through that, I sort of like learned how to like get shit done.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like I know how to get shit done.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yeah, it's been around for a while.
• 1:14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Probably not, I don't know about when I was a kid, but okay, final question.
• 1:14:04
  SPEAKER_02: What makes your house feel like a home?
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, what makes my house feel like a home?
• 1:14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Dang, you know, I want to say creativity, um, comfort, because both of those are wildly important, you know.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want fur and velvet and soft things.
• 1:14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Are you a Taurus?
• 1:14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Aquarius.
• 1:14:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 1:14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but art, art all around it.
• 1:14:36
  SPEAKER_00: However, I'll bet it's um, I'll bet it's not that.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'll bet it's the welcomeness, you know, it's the joy at people coming.
• 1:14:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I have three dogs who happen to be dogs that love people more than you've ever seen a dog love people.
• 1:14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody who meets my dog says, Of course, these are your dogs.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because I love people, I don't care who it is.
• 1:14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, come in.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_00: You need food, you need to talk, you need a hug, you want to make something, you want to do something crazy.
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 1:15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that's so sweet.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Probably that openness, welcomeness, you know, care, I suppose.
• 1:15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right, and I just moved into a new house right now.
• 1:15:16
  SPEAKER_00: So looking around when you say what makes it a home, I told you when we started this, it doesn't look like a home right now, it looks like goodwill, and yet I've had probably 30 people here in the two weeks I've been here, like having dinner, like just scoot that stuff over, just sit on the cooler, there's no furniture.
• 1:15:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it probably holds the thing, it will hold even when it's done being designed and recorded.
• 1:15:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so Dad, did you bring a question for me today?
• 1:15:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you first told me earlier that I would get to ask you a question at the end, I was like, oh, I already know what my question is.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And um, but then I've already I actually didn't ask you, I just told you multiple times in it.
• 1:15:56
  SPEAKER_00: So seriously, not even being silly.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_00: My only question is, will you be my new best friend?
• 1:16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:16:03
  SPEAKER_00: You will I will.
• 1:16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Serious question to me too, because like I don't want to know people's surface, and I'm like, wait a minute.
• 1:16:12
  SPEAKER_00: You did PR?
• 1:16:14
  SPEAKER_00: You this is a podcast.
• 1:16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you live?
• 1:16:17
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
• 1:16:18
  SPEAKER_00: What's your story with the divine?
• 1:16:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's your what's the wait?
• 1:16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it good?
• 1:16:22
  SPEAKER_00: I have seven million questions for you, gay.
• 1:16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so yeah, um, I feel that way too.
• 1:16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like the surface has no interest.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_02: I have no interest in it.
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_02: I it's yeah, it's irrelevant.
• 1:16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Based on everything you've said, I could probably answer the real questions that I would ask you, you know, because I want to say, like, well, um, why why do you do this?
• 1:16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or and then I thought, oh no, the real question is like, how much do you think you matter?
• 1:16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, as I was saying earlier, I like in just you saying that, I realized that it's that is the same journey to understand how much you matter as it is to experience life or to love.
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_02: There's or or to grow.
• 1:17:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's never ending.
• 1:17:16
  SPEAKER_02: It'll it will, the bar will always be higher than where you think you are, you know.
• 1:17:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I that that has like really freed me in a way, just just in this conversation, to to understand that like my current my current inability to know how much I matter is like a beautiful gift that that it's that I'll be always be able to explore more and more and more.
• 1:17:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so not mattering as much as I can is like no big deal anymore because I have a I have a baseline and I'm moving and moving, moving toward it, as as none would say, trust and move.
• 1:17:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, trust and move, yeah, totally.
• 1:18:01
  SPEAKER_00: The um, well, it's all a journey of surrender.
• 1:18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what are you surrendering to?
• 1:18:05
  SPEAKER_00: That which I am, which is way bigger than I could ever find out.
• 1:18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because as you keep pushing that boundary, it just keeps going.
• 1:18:12
  SPEAKER_00: It does that's why you say you don't know.
• 1:18:15
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't know.
• 1:18:16
  SPEAKER_00: The more you don't know, the better, because you have to keep going to find out.
• 1:18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because every answer asks 10 more questions.
• 1:18:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's the my favorite is the my favorite.
• 1:18:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gay, obviously, so I love show tunes.
• 1:18:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that those two go together because they don't always, but in my case, they do.
• 1:18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my favorite movie is and person, of course, is Barbara Streisand.
• 1:18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I'm attracted to the same divas as every other gay guy, but I am.
• 1:18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um Yentel is my favorite movie, and my favorite line in her in my favorite song from the movie is um the more I learn, the more I realize, the less I know.
• 1:18:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, that's a that's a beautiful place to end our conversation.
• 1:19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Accept that I want to encourage people to go to your Facebook page and watch that video of the kid in the car with his mom.
• 1:19:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, the kid, the shouting kid, and girl with the dad and the brothers in the band.
• 1:19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 1:19:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 1:19:25
  SPEAKER_02: I I was watching her as I was kind of um you know spying on you.
• 1:19:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um that I was like, okay, that is my goal.
• 1:19:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that is what I'm working toward, and she's already there, and I feel so far from where she is, you know.
• 1:19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh you're giving me goosebumps on my legs, that little girl.
• 1:19:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 1:19:43
  SPEAKER_00: The whole family, the brother with the bass who never looks up, the drummer brother, the danger.
• 1:19:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
• 1:19:50
  SPEAKER_00: That little girl just full.
• 1:19:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's leadership right there, truly expressing her authentic self.
• 1:19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Totally totally no fear.
• 1:19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, oh my gosh, thank you so much for spending your time with me and revealing yourself and for sharing your wisdom.
• 1:20:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's been so, so wonderful.
• 1:20:13
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.