Latest / The Perfect RIA / How to Achieve Success in 2 Steps
Transcript
- 0:42Jamie Shilanski: Ever meet somebody who's got a wishbone
- 0:44where their backbone ought to be? Well, then this podcast is
- 0:47going to be for you, because we are going to talk about how we
- 0:50rise above challenges and what makes the difference between
- 0:53people that are optimistically successful and people that just
- 0:56sit around all day long dream scrolling and thinking that they
- 1:00can wish themselves into success. Welcome back TPR
- 1:04Nation. This is Jamie Shilanski, in an episode of Worlds to
- 1:06Conquer. And first massive shout out to all of my southerners out
- 1:10there. You guys have the world's best expressions. Every time I
- 1:14talk to a Southerner, I need to put myself on pause and just
- 1:17listen the whole wishbone backbone if the creek don't
- 1:22rise, because all that employees, good worker, but
- 1:24sometimes meeting the guild the lily. I mean, everyone knows a
- 1:27bless your heart. I grew up knowing that as a big joke, but
- 1:31man, is just the tip of the expressions that the South comes
- 1:35up with. I've never seen anywhere else. I absolutely love
- 1:38it. No other region in America wraps an insult inside of a
- 1:41compliment. It makes it sound so pretty. Everywhere else us
- 1:44northerners, we just tell it like it is straight shooting,
- 1:47right? So what prompted this conversation? Well, a lot of
- 1:51times, when I talk to people, they say, Wow, I can't believe
- 1:53you can do everything, and you know you're so successful, and
- 1:56all of these things, how do you manage your time? How do you
- 1:58manage your day? And there starts to be this misconception
- 2:02that people that are successful are somehow smarter, faster,
- 2:06better than everyone else. No, no, I am made up of the same
- 2:10fiber. The people that I know that sit in the echelon of
- 2:13success, they are made up of the same fiber too. But we have two
- 2:17things incredibly in common when you want to achieve success.
- 2:20There are two characteristics that really differentiate. In my
- 2:24mind people. There's people that dream about success, and those
- 2:29two characteristics are optimism and grit. Optimism and grit. So
- 2:34let's talk about the theory of optimism. Optimism isn't just
- 2:37cheerleading. My baby brother, Micah Shilanski And I used to
- 2:40get into this a lot, because he's very pragmatic, he's very
- 2:43logistical. We are a great combination, because he brings a
- 2:48lot of decisive discernment to things, and I bring a lot of but
- 2:52what if it could happen? Let's see what the possibilities are.
- 2:54Let's just try, you know, and that kind of thing. And when we
- 2:57were first starting out our careers, he he would just be
- 3:00like, Oh, you're just such a cheerleader. You're just always
- 3:02seeing the positive. But I do, and there's a place and a time
- 3:05for that. I'm not saying that. You know, unicorns are going to
- 3:08start flying. I just got an argument with my four year old
- 3:11niece. I told her, we went to this festival, and I took her
- 3:14around to see the little Shetland ponies that they have,
- 3:15and she got to pet the pony. And I was talking to her about a
- 3:18couple days later, I said, Yeah, remember, we went to the
- 3:19festival. You got to pet the pony. And she goes, No, there
- 3:23was no pony. And I was like, yes, there was a pony. And she
- 3:26said, No, there was only a horse. And I said, No, that
- 3:30little thing that was like your size, it was a pony. And she
- 3:32said, No, they don't have the point on their forehead. She
- 3:35thought ponies were unicorns, because that's what she's seen
- 3:37on TV. I love how she stood her ground on this. It was
- 3:42incredibly cute woman. No point on its head. It's not a unicorn.
- 3:44I did not see it.
- 3:47All right. Now, you don't have to go around believing that
- 3:50ponies are unicorns to be optimistic. Rather, you could
- 3:53just believe in the possibility of these things. Now, belief
- 3:56isn't just enough, though. You can't walk around wishing for
- 3:59things to happen. The difference between a wish and a goal. It's
- 4:02a plan. It's a plan. Show me your plan to make these things
- 4:06happen. And I truly believe they can become they can become
- 4:09reality. You can make those things happen not by wishing
- 4:12them into existence, but rather working towards achieving them.
- 4:15And so as a galvanizer in different organizations that I
- 4:18work with, especially in our RIA Shilanski and Associates up in
- 4:21Anchorage, Alaska. I want to find people that maybe, you
- 4:24know, I would love them. I would love them all to have some type
- 4:27of miraculous skill set that I could just hire them right off
- 4:31the street and put them in a role and they're going to excel
- 4:34at. But I've never once seen that be the case. And you know,
- 4:37I get asked this, especially at conferences, people say, Hey,
- 4:40how are you finding talent? Which is a comment I absolutely
- 4:43love, because when you say the word talent to me, I'm going to
- 4:46imagine, you know, Ringling Brothers, big circus, Tencent,
- 4:49you know, bringing out the talent, the oddities and things
- 4:53like that. That's just what pops up into my mind. I'm very visual
- 4:56that way. I don't think that you can hire rock stars. Maybe you
- 4:59can, maybe you can. There are anomalies out there, everywhere.
- 5:02For the most part, in my experience, I've had to train
- 5:05those rock stars, and training them is a lot about believing
- 5:08that they are capable of these things. I will never ask an
- 5:12employee in any organization across any industry to do
- 5:14something. Wait, hold on pause, except for if it's medically
- 5:17related, I'm not going to go do surgery. But for the most part,
- 5:21I don't ask employees to do something I would not be willing
- 5:24to do myself. If I've asked you to do this work, it is because I
- 5:27believe that you can get it done. If I do not have faith, if
- 5:30I do not have belief that you can do this, that you are smart
- 5:34enough and capable and confident enough to do this work. I'm not
- 5:37going to ask you to do it, because I'm not in embarrassing
- 5:40people and setting them up for failure. I don't like to see
- 5:43people do that, but I do like to see people succeed, and
- 5:46sometimes, especially if you're a galvanizer, especially if
- 5:49you're that leader of that organization, if you are the CEO
- 5:52of your own company, if you're a financial advisor out there
- 5:55right now, listening, and this is not something that you do,
- 5:59well, go hire somebody else to galvanize your troops. Because
- 6:02what you might do well, like my baby brother Micah shilanski, is
- 6:05really see the innovation. He can really see the past and the
- 6:08processes and what has to happen. Now, one of the things
- 6:11that I do really well is I can understand the mission, and I
- 6:14can, if you show me all the steps that have to take place, I
- 6:18can start peppering in different ideas and thoughts about like,
- 6:21oh, wait, actually, hold on. This isn't gonna work this way.
- 6:24We need to do it that way. But then I can really rally, get the
- 6:27troops and get everyone on board. I hope you are picturing
- 6:30Braveheart running up and down the horse line right there. They
- 6:34will let her take our freedom. See, I told you, I'm so visual
- 6:37in my head, and no, I don't have ADD but if you don't have a
- 6:40galvanizer, and you tend to be more pragmatic, and you're
- 6:43thinking, go hire somebody else, because what's going to happen
- 6:46is you're going to get incredibly frustrated. You're
- 6:49going to get so frustrated with your entire team, because you're
- 6:52going to understand what needs to happen, you're going to lay
- 6:56out a process. You're not going to give them any why concept.
- 6:59You're not going to make them believe that it's possible to
- 7:02achieve these things, and then later you're gonna say really,
- 7:05really jerk comments like, Do you have a brain? Are you
- 7:08capable of thinking? How come you didn't give me this
- 7:11particular outcome? And if you make those type of comments,
- 7:14that's not going to inspire people to achieve more, that's
- 7:17going to have them hitting, indeed, every night when they're
- 7:20looking on their list to see if there's another job out there.
- 7:23And today in this country, in the United States of America,
- 7:26and to my friends across the pond in the UK, we have a labor
- 7:30shortage. We have a skilled labor shortage in both blue and
- 7:33white collar industries. So if you think your employees won't
- 7:36leave you for the prospect of something better living in
- 7:39fantasy land, it can and it will happen. Now this is not what I
- 7:42am referencing. I am not meaning that you need to go in every
- 7:45single day and say, hey, you know, what can we do for you
- 7:48today? Do you need more time off? Do you need more gentle
- 7:51parenting and employment role? Do you need lunches brought in
- 7:54for you? That is not what I'm saying. I am a big, big fan of
- 7:58radical candor and constructive criticism. In fact, I was just
- 8:01talking to one of our Gen Zers that we onboarded an incredibly
- 8:04bright young man, but he's in a brand new career for him. He
- 8:07studied in the sciences industry and anatomy and stuff, and so
- 8:11now he's learning everything he needs to know about finances.
- 8:14And I have corrected him on this one little thing constantly and
- 8:17habitually several times. And the reason that it's so
- 8:20important to me to correct him on this, and I told him, I said,
- 8:23Listen, I know that. I keep bringing it up to you, and I'm
- 8:26going to keep bringing it up to you until you decide to make a
- 8:29change, and I'm going to bring it up to you publicly. Why? Why
- 8:33does it matter if I don't correct this every single time I
- 8:36see it? Two things are going to happen. One, you're going to
- 8:39think it's not that big of a deal. You're going to think it's
- 8:42not that big of a deal, and you're going to continue to
- 8:45continue to do it. Two, you are going to start thinking in your
- 8:48mind, oh my gosh. She's in that kind of mood. She's just being
- 8:52the B word today. She's just being fussy today. Whatever
- 8:54those concepts are, if I let this go and do not correct you
- 8:58every single time, that is the only pathways your brain is
- 9:01going to think it's okay to do this, and she only corrects me
- 9:04when she's in that type of mood. Now, why do I do this publicly?
- 9:07The first two times I did it privately, I'm a big fan of
- 9:10that. I will bring you in and I will, you know, we always talk
- 9:13about scolding private praise in public. I'll bring you in and
- 9:17I'll say, Hey, listen, this is what's going on. This is what I
- 9:20see. Could you please correct it? And in this case, it was
- 9:23just something in this gentleman's wardrobe, he is of
- 9:26the age where they all have 1000 keys on their key chain going to
- 9:29things they probably don't own anymore or have any idea what
- 9:32they go to. And it is on a long and dirty lanyard, and that
- 9:35lanyard has a bunch of pens. And so where does this go if you
- 9:39don't, if you don't carry a man's purse, it goes inside of
- 9:42your pocket. And do you want it up and have that whole thing
- 9:45sitting in your pocket? No, you have a lanyard draping down your
- 9:48pants. And when you are walking around my office and you are
- 9:51presenting yourself as a financial professional and you
- 9:54are choosing to dress like a janitor, I'm going to have a
- 9:57problem with that. Now, if you want to be a janitor, that's a
- 10:00noble profession. I don't care. Go do that job. But if you're
- 10:04going to come into my conference rooms, if you are going to be
- 10:07meeting clients, I don't think you should have a lanyard going
- 10:10down your business sucks. And so the first two times I told them,
- 10:13I told them very privately, I said, Hey, you're doing this.
- 10:17Here's what it means, here's the representation you're giving.
- 10:20And I think that you need to correct it also, when you have
- 10:23your keys in your hand, or your pocket. For gentlemen, it's the
- 10:26pocket most of the time. But women, when we have our keys in
- 10:29the hand, what are we signaling to the person that we are
- 10:32speaking with, that we're going to depart, that we want to
- 10:35leave, that we you've caught us in the middle of something in
- 10:39which we are about to escape from, and so we want to be
- 10:41conscientious of these signals. Now he wasn't correcting it. So
- 10:45then I escalate, and I started bringing out in front of his
- 10:48peers and his coworkers. And then finally, we went through
- 10:51his etiquette class. And I'll tell you all about this amazing
- 10:54etiquette class. I think it's great if you have any
- 10:57professional that has not had a business professional etiquette
- 11:00course, you need to listen to that episode because it's going
- 11:03to be impactful. I did it for the young professionals in my
- 11:06office that are under the age of 30. But man, if it didn't
- 11:09resonate with my 40 to 45 year olds tremendously. There were
- 11:13things that they just didn't know about, proper business
- 11:16etiquette, and I'm not talking about manners. I'm not talking
- 11:19just about how we set the table. These are different things that
- 11:22happen in a business environment, and what they mean,
- 11:25and how to be conscious of them. So make sure you listen to that
- 11:28episode, especially if you're raising young ends, if you've
- 11:31got young professionals. And I would say at this time, anyone
- 11:35under the age of 60 is going to be in that category to listen to
- 11:38this. So as I began to talk to him about this, he showed up at
- 11:41this business dinner with his lanyard, with his janitor piece,
- 11:44and so I literally called him out in front of it, in front of
- 11:48the whole party. And it wasn't that I hadn't brought this up
- 11:51several times, and then I told him. I said, Hey, if I don't
- 11:54correct you on this, if I don't bring it up every single time I
- 11:57see you doing this, then you're only gonna think two things.
- 12:00You're gonna think it's okay to do, because clearly you think
- 12:03it's okay to do because you're doing it again. Or two, you're
- 12:07gonna think I only do it when I'm in a bad mood. I'm not in a
- 12:10bad mood, I'm in a great mood, but I have to keep correcting
- 12:13you. And he said, You know what, I never thought of it that way.
- 12:16Yes, okay, thank you. I'm done doing this will not happen
- 12:19again. And you know what? I trust him that it's not going to
- 12:23happen again. And I think it's so impactful that, and I don't
- 12:26care if he's doing it in his personal life, when he's going
- 12:29to sporting events, he's doing other things. I sure as heck
- 12:32care when he's in a three piece suit and he's showing up for
- 12:35business function. I really do care how we present ourselves.
- 12:38Matters. It does. I am just as smart as I am in a dress as I am
- 12:42in jeans, at a hoodie, sitting by a bonfire, drinking a blonde
- 12:45beer. But you know what? Nobody's writing a million
- 12:47dollar checks at that bonfire. Nobody's doing it when I'm in my
- 12:51hoodie. How we present ourselves matters if you think it doesn't,
- 12:54if you think it doesn't matter to your respective audience, do
- 12:57you go see your heart doctor? And cardiologist. Words matter.
- 13:01Words matter. We want to make sure that the professionals that
- 13:04we are trusting, because this isn't just about exchange money.
- 13:07This is about trust, that we are trusting, hold themselves to a
- 13:10certain caliber. Do you all remember? Of course, you
- 13:13remember when Sarah Palin shocked the entire country by
- 13:16getting selected for the vice president nomination. There was
- 13:19this amazing article in Psychology Today, and it said
- 13:22Sarah Palin is just like us, which is why she'll never win
- 13:25the vice presidency, which is why they wouldn't go on to win
- 13:28the presidency at that time. And this article, you know, my big
- 13:32takeaway from it was that it talked about how she was so
- 13:35relatable, how she was your aunt, she was your neighbor, she
- 13:38was a politician next door. Now what most of you may or may not
- 13:41know is I live in Wasilla, Alaska, and was Alaska is used
- 13:44to be home in the Iditarod, and now I tell people, hey, it's my
- 13:47Sarah Palin, and that instantly resonates and puts a memory
- 13:50together for them. And Sarah Palin started out doing
- 13:53different political things here, and she was our mayor, and guess
- 13:56what? She was a good mayor. She was good mayor. She was a great
- 14:00governor. She ended up giving up the governor's seat because
- 14:03their office got so flooded with phone calls from Associated
- 14:06Press and different journalists and media, they couldn't get any
- 14:09state work done. And so she did end up giving up that position
- 14:13and moving on to someone else. I don't know if that was the right
- 14:16political move. I would have told her not to do it and showed
- 14:19tenacity to stick through it, but I was not her political
- 14:22advisor, nor anyone else's. But it really, she really was a
- 14:25kitchen table politics kind of leader, and that resonated for
- 14:29this small town community and this small town state, because
- 14:32Alaska might be the largest state that we have in the union,
- 14:35here in the United States, but we've only got around 700,000
- 14:38people. I mean, that's not a lot of people. In fact, one person
- 14:41who worked for the government census, he said that if you took
- 14:45all the people in Alaska and you shoved them into one part of the
- 14:48state so that they all lived, you know, relatively the same
- 14:51area, and gave each person who was a resident one acre of
- 14:54space, it would take up less than 2% of the land in Alaska,
- 14:57because it's different up here. It takes a different type of
- 15:00grit to live up here. It takes a different type of resiliency,
- 15:04and it has and you really can't like city life, and you don't
- 15:07like the sort of those urban things happening, and you have
- 15:10to be okay with that. There's something that you have to
- 15:13compromise to live off of the land and to be in this type of
- 15:16environment. And not that we don't have stores, but a lot of
- 15:19our stores run very low on stock, and so we have a higher
- 15:22rate of subsistency here in the state. When we hunt and fish,
- 15:25it's to put it up for the winter. It's to make sure that
- 15:28we have supplies that will last us through the winter. So this
- 15:32is just different than most people are used to. In fact, one
- 15:35of the reasons that I think that Alaskans live in Alaska so long,
- 15:38besides the landscape and the culture and the communities, is
- 15:41so that we can tell everyone else just how tough we are. So
- 15:44when I talk to you about employees and making sure that
- 15:47you believe in them and optimism. Trust me, I'm not
- 15:50coming from a place that's like, hey, gold stars for everyone.
- 15:53Everyone gets a trophy. That's not how we operate. That's not
- 15:56how we think up here at all. Not everyone gets a trophy, not
- 16:00everyone gets a reward, not everyone gets promotion, not
- 16:02everyone gets a pay raise. Why? Because you're not all doing the
- 16:06same amount of work and you're not all showing up with the same
- 16:09amount of effort. And so when we look at our organization, you
- 16:12can be optimistic and critical. Those two can be very, very hand
- 16:16in hand. A lot of leaders have a hard time with this, because if
- 16:19you are a super optimistic person, chances are people
- 16:22always say how nice you are. And when somebody says, Wow, that
- 16:25person is so nice, I hear that and I cringe inside, because
- 16:28what I hear is that person is concerned about your feelings.
- 16:31They are too delicate in the way that they speak to you to
- 16:34actually deliver the type of candor you need in order to
- 16:37succeed. Nice people seldom ever tell you what they really think,
- 16:41because they are so wrapped up and emotionally involved in your
- 16:44feelings that they forget that they should be there to support
- 16:47and help and guide you and point out when you get things wrong,
- 16:51because every single day of my life I'm not getting things
- 16:54right, and I've got really trusted people to be like, Hey,
- 16:57Jay, you completely screwed the pooch on. You completely messed
- 17:00that one up. You kind of stuck your foot in it, etc. Now,
- 17:03luckily, I've got those type of people in my life that give me
- 17:06that feedback and remind me when I do something wrong, but they
- 17:10also give me grace to get it right, because I'm not going to
- 17:13be wrong about something and then bury my feet in the ground
- 17:16and not recognize the role I had to play in it. And so when I
- 17:19misstep, and it happens, I messed up a lot, when I messed
- 17:22up, when I say the wrong thing, when I speak out of turn, when I
- 17:25deliver the wrong process or give somebody the wrong details,
- 17:29I take accountability for it. Now it's not some big shaming
- 17:32session where I'd rather hundreds of people together and
- 17:35say, Harry, Harry, I have made a mistake. Rather, I just roll
- 17:38with it. I accept mistakes as natural part of my day, and the
- 17:41way that this is different, and this is actually happening with
- 17:44it. It was somebody in my organizations right now, they
- 17:47have a leadership role, and a lot of the communication I'm
- 17:50getting from team members is, you know, this person says that
- 17:53they're accountable, but they seldom ever admit when they're
- 17:57wrong or have a mistake, and they get really fostered, they
- 18:00get on tilt, and they make it very noticeable to the rest of
- 18:03the team. And so I'll give you an example of how I would take a
- 18:06mistake and versus this person. So this person, they made a
- 18:09mistake, and they misspoke. They miss said something, they gave
- 18:13the wrong information. They didn't they didn't have, well,
- 18:16no, you were supposed to do and then so all of a sudden they
- 18:19start getting defensive, and they start projecting whose
- 18:22responsibility it was to have done something in the first
- 18:25place. Now here's the difference. When somebody says,
- 18:27Hey, Jamie, you know, you gave me this instruction, I did those
- 18:31things, but now you're wanting something completely different,
- 18:34because that happens a lot, I think a lot of thoughts. And so
- 18:37sometimes I'll change my mind, or sometimes I'll say I'll get
- 18:40something done, and I'll be like, Oh no, let's not do it
- 18:43that way. We should have done this. You know, I just started a
- 18:47really great marketing idea in which I'm going to increase the
- 18:50number of questions that we get from our niche market for
- 18:53federal employees. And as soon as I got it done, as soon as I
- 18:56got all as soon as I gave the instructions to the team, and
- 18:59they got it completely functioning, took them about,
- 19:02you know, three or four days to get all the moving parts
- 19:05working. And they got it done, they presented it to me, they
- 19:08said it's ready for testing. And I said, Oh my gosh, why didn't
- 19:11we do it that way? We should have done it this way. And
- 19:14they're like, we follow the exact instructions that you gave
- 19:17us. And I said, you guys, I'm so sorry. Thank you so much. I
- 19:20Let's roll this out. Let's use it for the next 30 days, see how
- 19:24it works. But I really should have told you to do this. That's
- 19:27on me. And they're like, oh, okay, no problem. We'll move on.
- 19:30And nobody's sitting there getting frustrated or upset and
- 19:33saying, Jamie, we just wasted three or four days out of my
- 19:36time doing the wrong thing, because the wrong thing wasn't
- 19:39that detrimental. I'm looking at things and saying, in fact, I
- 19:43just told an employee this in a review where they're not they're
- 19:46not expressing as much confidence as I'd like to see
- 19:49them having their role. Because she's incredibly intelligent.
- 19:52She knows the right answers oftentimes. Because when I come
- 19:55back and I start asking her questions, she's already
- 19:58prepared reports and has answers for me and has analytical stuff.
- 20:01And when she doesn't, she's really upset with herself, and
- 20:04she'll get, like, kind of quiet and embarrassed. But for the
- 20:07most part, she's very, very competent and capable. She just
- 20:10doesn't trust herself to be a decision maker. And so I gave
- 20:14her a filter and said, All right, listen when I'm making
- 20:16decisions or when I want you to decision does involve money or
- 20:20deadline? Is somebody else's involvement imperative in this
- 20:23decision? No, okay, great, then why don't you make it and until
- 20:26you're able to gain the confidence, why don't you start
- 20:29off every you know, meeting every email to me with this is
- 20:32the problem. This is my recommendation for my solution.
- 20:35And then give me your substantiated information, then
- 20:38give me all the facts and details afterwards. Don't bury
- 20:41your solution down at the bottom, because if you do that,
- 20:44I'm going to have read your entire piece, and I'm going to
- 20:47already see in my mind what needs to happen. And by time I
- 20:50get to the end, I may or may not agree with you, but if you start
- 20:53off the conversation and you say, Hey, listen, this is the
- 20:56problem. Here's my recommended solution, and here's all the
- 20:59supportive information, I'm going to read that supportive
- 21:02information with your solution in mind, with your solution in
- 21:05mind. Now that doesn't mean I'm always going to acquiesce and
- 21:09agree with you, but that means now I know how you're thinking
- 21:12and you're coming to me with a problem and a solution. That's a
- 21:15floydism right there for you. Floyd always raised us, which
- 21:18makes Micah and I laugh today, because when we were kids, he'd
- 21:22say, Hey, don't you ever come to me with a problem unless you've
- 21:25thought of at least one solution doesn't have to be the right
- 21:28solution, but you have to come to me with a solution, and we
- 21:31laugh about it now, because we're kids, we don't know the
- 21:34solution, we don't know what it's supposed to be, but it put
- 21:37us in the mindset. It gave us the mental capacity to be
- 21:40thinking that problems are meant to be solved, not sat in.
- 21:43Problems are meant to be solved not sat in and so now I've
- 21:46empowered this team member, and then I can also give them a
- 21:49little look into my head. And so when I read this and I say, Hey,
- 21:53listen, this is your solution, it was fantastic. But here's a
- 21:56couple of things I would tweak about and go forward. And now
- 21:59I've given them the ammunition the next time, they know what to
- 22:03do with it. They know how I'm thinking, they know how I'm
- 22:06problem solving. They know those extra pieces. Or sometimes they
- 22:09say, Listen, I really appreciate your solution. It's wrong
- 22:12because here's what here's what you're forgetting, here's what
- 22:15you're not thinking about. On that side of things, I find too
- 22:18many leaders are so concerned about hurting the feelings of
- 22:21employees they are no longer responsible and giving feedback.
- 22:25And then what happens is you get somebody totally stagnant at
- 22:28their dog. They're not growing, they're not learning, they're
- 22:31becoming bored or complacent, which is terrible, terrible
- 22:34places for the human condition. And then that employee has the
- 22:37audacity to ask you for a pay raise, and your mind is blown
- 22:40because you're like, I can't believe I'm paying you this much
- 22:44for the work you're doing now. But whose fault is that? Whose
- 22:47fault is that because you have two problems, either you are not
- 22:50taking ownership and being a good leader and a good steward
- 22:53of your organization your employee by providing them with
- 22:56radical candor and feedback, because you're so wrapped up in
- 22:59their feelings, you're not their diary if they have feelings
- 23:02about what you have to say, and you're not being a jerk about
- 23:06how you're presenting it. You are not their boss. You are
- 23:09trying to be their friend, and you can be one. You cannot
- 23:12always be both. You must decide which one to be. That's one of
- 23:15the pieces of advice I give all new parents, is we're so
- 23:18concerned with being our kids friends, they don't need you to
- 23:21be their friend. They need you to be their parent. And when it
- 23:24comes to employees. They don't need you to be their best
- 23:27friend. They need you to be the leader of the organization. And
- 23:31if you're holding punches, if you are not giving them the type
- 23:34of radical candor and criticism that allows them to grow, shame
- 23:37on you, shame on you, because now you have bridled human being
- 23:40from breaching their potential, and you have the responsibility
- 23:44when you started that organization to make sure that
- 23:46everyone around you rose up also. Does this naturally come
- 23:49easy to everyone? No, it's something that you have to
- 23:52condition yourself for. It's something you have to step into.
- 23:55Don't start tomorrow. Just radically everyone's mind with
- 23:58things that annoy you. Inch your way into it, right? If you draw
- 24:02a diagram of a pool, not everyone should jump in the deep
- 24:05end. Sometimes people got to inch their way in the shallow
- 24:08and get comfortable with the water before they choose to
- 24:11sweat. So make sure you're inching into this, but be
- 24:13disciplined about it. Now, the second factor that distinguishes
- 24:17the backbone from the wishbone concept is the discipline is a
- 24:20lot of people think success is just natural or comes easy. Tony
- 24:23Robbins has a great quote, and I think about it all the time, at
- 24:27least once a week, people are praised in public for what they
- 24:30have practiced for hours in private, people are praised in
- 24:33public for what they have practiced for hours in private.
- 24:36And you really have to let that sink in. You really have to
- 24:39think about the discipline and the tenacity and the grit that
- 24:42really is going to define your success. Because all the time I
- 24:45am approached, especially by people that are under the age of
- 24:4945 in which they are wishing to make a million dollars a year
- 24:52and they are unwilling to be disciplined about doing that
- 24:55actual work that comes along with that. And this isn't work
- 24:58that is just exclusively Jamie and Micah and Matt. This is work
- 25:01that belongs to everybody and everybody's face you can be
- 25:04disciplined. And that is the biggest difference. When people
- 25:07look at me and they say, oh my gosh, how do you have How do you
- 25:11have time for this, this and this? And I'm like, because I
- 25:14make time, we all give them the same amount of hours. I don't
- 25:17have an extra bank in which I'm stopping the clock and doing all
- 25:20these different endeavors. I'm getting up every single day and
- 25:24I'm prioritizing the things that are going to prepare me for the
- 25:27future that I want to have. So let me ask you this TPR nation,
- 25:30when you wake up in the morning not feeling like PD, anymore,
- 25:33poor Kesha, she can't catch a break. But when you wake up in
- 25:36the morning, are you prioritizing the things that are
- 25:39going to prepare you for the future that you want to have, or
- 25:42are you opening up your email inbox, your slack, your chat,
- 25:46your text and seeing how you have to react to your day
- 25:48instead of being proactive, instead of filling yourself with
- 25:52accomplishing the things that set you up for success in six
- 25:55months, in eight months, in 12 months, are you instead bogging
- 25:58yourself down with all of the things that have to get done
- 26:01because they're all these little fires that you have to put out,
- 26:04and you're the only one that can do that, but Jamie, that's the
- 26:08work that has to get done. Well, of course, it has to get done.
- 26:11But what occupational space are you allowing it as part of your
- 26:14day, if the very first thing that you are doing in the
- 26:17morning is being reactive to everybody else, do not lament to
- 26:20me that you are unsuccessful in six months, 12 months, three
- 26:23years, five years, because you spent your entire life being
- 26:26reactive to everyone around you, instead of grabbing your
- 26:29destiny, doing the hard work and getting your done first thing in
- 26:33the morning. Here's a great example, marketing, marketing,
- 26:36marketing. I get so many comments from Amber, our podcast
- 26:39curator, that people email in across the nation
- 26:41lifestyle@theperfectra.com Hey, I love Jamie's episode on
- 26:44marketing. I love it when she talks about marketing and team
- 26:48building. How do I do this? How do I do that? And so we come up
- 26:51with great content. We've got phenomenal content. If you are
- 26:54not a member of The Perfect RIA and you want more step by step
- 26:57guides on how we are building multi million dollar enterprise
- 27:00practices, dude, what are you doing with your life? Sign up
- 27:04for your membership. Stop wishing for things to happen. In
- 27:07fact, if you're not a TPR member, if you're not putting
- 27:09your money where your mouth is, then you know what? You're
- 27:13probably the person who's got a wishbone where their backbone
- 27:16ought to be, because, you know, is possible, and you are
- 27:19choosing to be mediocre. It's a choice we all get to make it,
- 27:22and there is nothing wrong with a mediocre life. If content is
- 27:25what you are in pursuit of great there are a lot of complacent
- 27:28roles. I would tell you immediately to sell your
- 27:31practice. In fact, we could line you up with somebody that
- 27:34probably wants to buy your practice or help you sell it at
- 27:37lifestyle@theperfectria.com, but you don't want greatness. You
- 27:40don't want greatness if you are after being complacent and
- 27:43content 100% okay, everyone's on their own pursuit. And if that
- 27:47is the case, you should not be a business owner, because you are
- 27:50doing a disservice to yourself, your family, your employees and
- 27:53your clients. You must have a hunger and a drive to be a
- 27:56business owner. You must believe in every fiber of your being
- 27:59that you were put here for greatness, and you will go
- 28:02achieve that greatness, and it won't be yours alone. You will
- 28:05share that greatness with others and watch as they become their
- 28:09best and better selves. So how many of you are committed to
- 28:12that? How many of you are getting up proactively? I would
- 28:15love, I wish this was a show of hands. I would love to see it. I
- 28:18would love to see all of us being honest and saying, hey,
- 28:21the first thing that I do in the morning is, here's my morning
- 28:24success ritual, and then I get up and I tackle the thing so
- 28:27that I can be who I want to be in six and 12 months. I am so
- 28:31gosh darn excited to meet the woman that I'm going to be in
- 28:34six months and 12 months and three years, and five years, 10
- 28:37years, a little shade in me. I don't know what she looks like,
- 28:40but, but I can visualize and I can see that person, and I am so
- 28:43curious to meet her, but I'm so curious and passionate about
- 28:47meeting her that I'm not going to fail today. I'm not going to
- 28:50forget to put one foot in front of the other and do the things
- 28:53every single day with strategic discipline to get to where I
- 28:56want to be. Now, what about all the other work? What about all
- 28:59those other things? Do you just put it by the wayside? No,
- 29:02absolutely not. But how many of you out there are playing
- 29:05office? Come on, how many of you are playing office? And if none
- 29:09of you, if every single one of you are like, I never play
- 29:12office. Golde, you're lying to yourself, and now you're lying
- 29:15to your colleagues. Because we're all guilty of it. We have
- 29:18to catch ourselves. I catch myself. Micah catches himself,
- 29:21Matt, for sure, catches himself. And when we decide that we're
- 29:24playing office, we immediately recognize it, call it out for
- 29:28what it was, and then we move on to something else. We
- 29:30give ourselves the grace to not do those things. So what is
- 29:34playing office? Playing office is pretend work. Playing office
- 29:38is hitting refresh on your email as if it wasn't populate
- 29:41automatically. Anyways, give me a break. So those things are
- 29:45playing office, spending too much time reading newspapers,
- 29:48spending too much time, you know, doing any one task,
- 29:51spreadsheets. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, gone. We're all guilty of
- 29:55this one. I've spent so much time building spreadsheets and
- 29:59then trying to make them look pretty for no one but myself.
- 30:02For no one but myself. In fact, I was just talking to one of our
- 30:06financial advisors, and he's also guilty of that, and so he's
- 30:10like, how do you stop yourself? And I was like, oh, you know,
- 30:13that's really difficult, because I want to put a filter on it,
- 30:17and I want to say, what is the outcome of the spreadsheet?
- 30:20Who's going to see it, and then who needs to understand it? And
- 30:24so who needs to see it? Who needs to understand it? And if
- 30:28I'm just doing it for myself, cool, I know what my brain is
- 30:31thinking, and I'll make it look equally like I want to do. I
- 30:35will not spend more time than necessary doing and I will move
- 30:38on. Now, if I'm going to, if this is client or business
- 30:42professional, or if I'm, you know, sharing a spreadsheet with
- 30:45somebody else, then I also need to make sure it makes sense, and
- 30:49I need to make sure that they have that if they look at this,
- 30:53because a spreadsheet is often like a roadmap inside our brain.
- 30:57We know what we are thinking, but other people don't know
- 31:00those correlations. And so I will make sure I have my keys.
- 31:04I'll make sure that the terms, you know, everyone understands
- 31:07what the cell, if there's text inside of there, how we got to
- 31:11different formulas. I'll put comments and notes in there, but
- 31:15I'm not going to spend a ton of time making it a whole bunch of
- 31:18different colors, you know, and doing things to make it look
- 31:22present ready, when oftentimes it's not going to be presented
- 31:26to anyone, except for internally on my team. That's a one way we
- 31:29are super guilty as financial advisors of playing office. And
- 31:33so when you catch yourself doing that, immediately being able to
- 31:37stop, put your computer down, walk away, clear your head and
- 31:41then come back and focus on the things that you need to get done
- 31:44that day to get ahead. I have all my tasks inside of my
- 31:48calendar. And so when my team members from any organization
- 31:51need something from me, it gets calendared on my day. When it
- 31:55gets calendared on my day, that means I have dedicated time to
- 31:59go in there and get those things done. Now, one thing that I
- 32:02changed this last year, and I'm super glad that I did, was I
- 32:06stopped giving away the best part of me during the day. So I
- 32:09am a conqueror. I am a GSD. I get done, and I get up in the
- 32:13morning, and after I do my morning success ritual, I am
- 32:16ready to frickin smash and I know that I can get more work
- 32:20done in a half a day's time than most people are going to get
- 32:23done in a week. And I can just powerhouse through that. But
- 32:27what I found myself doing, you know, around 2020. Was that I
- 32:30had from seven in the morning until, you know, noon, open
- 32:34slots for appointments. And all those open slots for
- 32:37appointments, and those were appointments, not just client
- 32:40facing, not when we were in surge or out of surge, but they
- 32:44were they were vendors, and they were professionals and centers
- 32:48of influence and team members that needed my time, all these
- 32:51kind of things. Well, what ended up happening was the more open
- 32:55slots that I had on my calendar, the more people took up. And
- 32:59they took up for no really important reason. And so I
- 33:02started creating an agenda saying, Hey, if you want an
- 33:05appointment on one of my calendars, you can do that, but
- 33:09you got to fill out this agenda form ahead of time. You got to
- 33:12fill out this meeting request form ahead of time. And that
- 33:16really became a barrier to entry, where people are like,
- 33:19hey, I really want to meet with you, but I have to fill out this
- 33:23form. And fantastic. Then it's doing its job. And then I
- 33:26stopped, and I said, Hold on a second, if I know I'm going to
- 33:30get the most work done between, you know, I get up at five, so I
- 33:34spend the first couple of hours learning out of my day. That's
- 33:38what I'm really passionate about. I love to learn, so
- 33:41curious to know different topics, and I know that I'm
- 33:44going to start working about 630 or 7am every day. Then if I
- 33:47instantly go into meetings, I'm giving that best part of myself
- 33:51to somebody else. Instead, I carve out that time from seven
- 33:55to nine, and I only do proactive activities. I don't do tasks, I
- 33:59don't respond to email, I don't do the things that the work that
- 34:02I will get done, but doesn't deserve the best part of me
- 34:06necessarily. I need to be proactive in getting the things
- 34:09done that I need for who I'm going to become in the future.
- 34:13And so segmenting my day to prioritize it that way gives me
- 34:16the discipline to keep the ball moving. And then when I close
- 34:20that part of my day out, and I go into my different meetings,
- 34:24and then I go into my different tasks, and yes, I respond to my
- 34:27emails and do all of those things that are expected of me.
- 34:31It doesn't need the highest energy Jamie. It needs a medium
- 34:34energy, Jamie, and I can bring that and still get done things
- 34:38efficiently without neglecting the most important part of who
- 34:42I'm trying to become. And so when you think about discipline,
- 34:45you really need to think about that. You need to think about
- 34:49what is it that I want, what I willing to sacrifice to get
- 34:52there, and then what are my steps that I'm going to take?
- 34:56And that is one big thing missing from this picture today
- 34:59is that success looks so easy. It looks so tangible. We see all
- 35:03these people on podcasts, on YouTube, on influencing and
- 35:06we're like, man, everyone is like a next door millionaire,
- 35:10and that we forget about the sacrifice that it takes. Guess
- 35:13what? All of those people that you see online on YouTube or
- 35:17doing the podcast or whatnot. It takes a ardent amount of
- 35:20discipline to do those things, because you have to continually
- 35:24come up with content. And for a five minute video, they probably
- 35:28have three to four hours of shooting and editing and
- 35:31captioning and doing different things to post and doing
- 35:34different AB testing and changing out their thumbnails.
- 35:38It takes a ton of energy, and I have this conversation a lot
- 35:41with youngsters who are like, hey, I really want to be a
- 35:45creator. That's a new role. We're creating for different
- 35:48platforms or creating to feed YouTube. And we see these people
- 35:52that are creators doing what we think are nothing. Why? Why does
- 35:56every female put on their makeup or lotion to get you to pay
- 35:59attention? And why do we pay attention when they're doing it?
- 36:03It's so strange, but we watch these people in action, we think
- 36:06that that success is so tangible because those people are doing
- 36:10quote, unquote nothing, but you have no idea what their day
- 36:14looks like. Every single moment of their mental energy is
- 36:17probably spent thinking of, hey, that content. Hey, that's
- 36:21content. Hey, that's content. And whipping out their cameras,
- 36:24sacrificing their connections with people, because they're
- 36:28constantly recording content, and then they're doing all of
- 36:31this film editing, and then they're doing all this posting.
- 36:35They're reviewing to see what worked, what didn't work.
- 36:38They're tweaking. They're changing. It takes up. In fact,
- 36:42if you don't listen, if you are on Youtube, and you are using
- 36:45that as one of your mediums for marketing. Mr Beast is
- 36:48phenomenal, but he will tell you he doesn't wish that his career
- 36:52on England. He says, Absolutely, do not do this. Do not do this
- 36:56because it takes up all of my mental energy. I have breakdowns
- 37:00two to three times a week, and I am obsessed with working. I am
- 37:04obsessed with working constantly. And so he is a
- 37:06workaholic. But when you watch his videos, it doesn't look like
- 37:10he's a workaholic. It looks like he's just having fun. And I
- 37:14mean, think about that in our office and in shilanski and
- 37:17Associates at benningridge, Alaska, we operate with a
- 37:20certain level of intensity that's not suitable for all
- 37:24audiences. But when you walk through that door, when you come
- 37:27into our lobby, we will set the tone that everything is calm.
- 37:31It's comfortable your only client in the world that we are
- 37:34here to serve, and we will be very, very moderate. We're very
- 37:38deliberate in how we deliver that intensity, but they have no
- 37:42idea that when they lift the curtain behind the machine, I've
- 37:45got a team members, a level, team members that are just
- 37:49grinding and pushing and driving themselves to become better.
- 37:52Just because you see the remnants of somebody's success
- 37:56and it looks incredibly tangible, don't for one second
- 37:59think that they are getting successful without being
- 38:02incredibly disciplined. You must have both. You must have both.
- 38:06TPR Nation. This is Jamie shilanski, an episode of Worlds
- 38:09to Conquer. Go find people who share your values and change the
- 38:13world.