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Grace After Survival Mode: Let Your Nervous System Learn Safety · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show Podcast.
• 0:03
  My name is Julie Nguyen, and I wanna share a really sweet message that a friend texted me the other day.
• 0:12
  And her text said,"Spirit always meets us with so much grace, doesn't it?" I took that in And as I was allowing myself to really receive that message, spirit always meets us with so much grace, doesn't it?
• 0:29
  I finally dropped into my physical self.
• 0:32
  And when I was allowing myself to really receive that message, a voice inside said,"Here you are, Julie.
• 0:41
  And wasn't it all worth it?" I had to breathe into that, into that quiet space, and I suddenly saw my life with a little more clarity.
• 0:52
  I was able to look at the beautiful relationships I have now, the deep nourishing friendships.
• 0:59
  I have people in my life that I can send long-ass voice memos about spiritual breakthroughs or triggers or things that I am working through And then five minutes later, we're laughing, dancing, talking shit, and being human.
• 1:15
  There is a profound depth in my life right now, but there is also an incredible lightness There is an anchoring into spirituality like I've never experienced before, and there's also the real, the messy the aggravating parts of life that are still present.
• 1:38
  But as I felt the immense gratitude for this reality, I also felt a familiar tightness, and that's when the deeper truth hit me.
• 1:48
  My nervous system is still getting on board with what is true for me now.
• 1:54
  The reality of my life has changed, but my physical body is still catching up to the peace I've built.
• 2:01
  For a long time, my body learned a completely different version of relationship.
• 2:06
  It was one that was rooted in hypervigilance, performance, people pleasing, and waiting always for the other shoe to drop.
• 2:17
  I never had a relative sense of safety in my life, and cultivating a relative sense of safety is really hard to do.
• 2:28
  I would also say impossible to do when you're in constant relationship with a narcissist, somebody who is always behind the curtains manipulating your life in a way that keeps you from connecting with your truth, your light, your love, your power, your gifts When we spend years operating in survival mode, and that is what I was doing, our nervous systems program themselves to find safety in chaos.
• 2:59
  When we finally, and I have been spending 10 years unraveling from that, and whew, when we finally clear the wreckage, when we do the hard healing work, and we welcome in genuine grace and safety in relationships, healthy love Our minds celebrate, but our bodies hesitate To a system accustomed to a storm Stillness can feel scary.
• 3:39
  It can feel unfamiliar, and it can feel like a trap.
• 3:45
  You just don't trust it This is where the true grace of spirit meets us.
• 3:50
  It isn't just in the arrival of a beautiful relationship or peaceful moments.
• 3:56
  It is in the gentle patience allowed for our bodies to catch up If you find yourself standing in the middle of a life you once prayed for, yet your chest still feels tight or on guard, I know my body is always gripping.
• 4:14
  Even when I'm trying to relax in meditation or going to a yin yoga class, I'm always aware of like there is a grip.
• 4:21
  I'm always bracing myself for the thing And I always feel like once I surrender, then the thing happens.
• 4:31
  Yesterday I was having a really beautiful day.
• 4:33
  I had great meditations.
• 4:34
  I had all these aha moments.
• 4:35
  I was experiencing clarity.
• 4:38
  I was allowing myself to practice a day of movement.
• 4:41
  And then you know what I did?
• 4:43
  I hit a fucking parked car.
• 4:46
  And now I have to have a ding on my insurance claim, It was just unnecessary stress all around.
• 4:53
  So what do I do with that?
• 4:56
  I can't lean into,"Well, that's what happens when you surrender,'cause the other shoe's gonna drop.
• 5:01
  don't get too comfortable.
• 5:02
  Ah, ah, ah." I had to reframe it for myself of this is actually a small little ding that's allowing me to practice having a strong relationship with my nervous system, with life, and with momentum, And to practice not spiraling when when a storm in my life happens and if you catch yourself in small moments realizing that,"Dang, I am in the life that I once prayed for," and your chest still feels tight or on guard, write yourself permission to receive And give yourself time for your body to catch up with this space that you are in now Reminding your body that it's okay.
• 5:59
  Reminding yourself that when you are guarded, gripping, your body isn't broken.
• 6:06
  It's just remembering, and it takes time to teach a vigilant heart and a body that remembers the stories of the past and is working for you to keep you protected We just have to offer it grace and the reminder that it is finally truly safe to soften