Latest / Leanne's Podcast / Bex’s Story

Transcript

Bex’s Story · Leanne's Podcast

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, I'm your host Ann and welcome to Motherhood on a day, where we get rid about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: The highs, the lows, and everything in between.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Honest stories, messy moments, and sharing our journey together.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm joined by Beck's founder of Baby Bexercise and a mum passionate about supporting women through the reality of motherhood, postpartum, and everything in between.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about identity shifts after becoming a mum, the pressure to bounce back, and why we should be holding mum just as much as the baby.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Beck shares her story behind Baby Bexercise and how her own motherhood journey inspired her to create a space where mums feel seen, supported, and understood.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the podcast.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: We've been trying to do it for a while and our diaries are not aligned, so it's nice to sit down with you.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: And we've just said it's bank holiday Monday, so thank you for taking time out on your bank holiday Monday because I know you're very busy.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: You have a full-time job, you're a mum of two, and you run your own exercise class.
• 1:07
  unknown: Yes.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: How do you do it all?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I just do it.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't I don't think about it, I just do it.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like you're super mum, honestly.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely boss in it.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but no, I just love it, it's my life.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, the classes are just everything, yeah.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously the babies.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I know.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: My third baby, the classes, but yeah.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: The third baby, I love that.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, it's just obviously it's full on, yeah, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I know that sounds a bit cliche, but it doesn't, it doesn't.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think you know, you you've got a bit of a purpose, like we were just talking about it, it's what motivates you and keeps you going, right?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So you've got two lovely children and you're a busy working mum.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I guess going back to the the your children, how were your pregnancies?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: How did you find them?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So with my daughter's pregnant pregnancy, how do you say it?
• 2:06
  unknown: Cut that bit off.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: When I was pregnant with my daughter, yeah.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in my first pregnancy with my daughter, I feel like I was very scared, very unprepared.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really help myself, I didn't really do a lot of research.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um into what having a child?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Having a child, being pregnant, what it was gonna be like when I actually had her, yeah, like being a mum, um, having to look after someone.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um I don't know whether it was just like I was in denial.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um and luckily my partner researched everything, so it wasn't like we went into it blind.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so I kind of just kept as busy as I could, but I think deep down I was very, very nervous.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had literally just finished uni.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just started working at like my graduate job, I guess, and another job that I'm still at now.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yeah, then I just found out and that I was pregnant, and it was this like literally the scariest thing.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Unexpected.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Unexpected.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um what do they call it?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh um, what do they call it?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: What's that saying?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Unplanned but not prevented?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, something like that.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, obviously wouldn't change it for the world now, but it was very scary.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm glad that it happened then because otherwise I don't actually know when I would have felt ready.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um and sometimes I think, do you ever actually feel ready?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: I no, I don't think you can.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think you can prepare as much as you possibly can, but until that baby comes, like exactly you can read all the baby books and people will tell you their stories, but it's your own individual journey.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I no, I don't think you can.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: I I had absolutely no bloody humanity.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I knew what I was doing.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm still winging it now.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: So you do just for the rest you do.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: They like their whole life.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, um, but yeah, so I had her, um, and I don't think it was until I actually had her, or even maybe like a few hours after she was here, that I was like, oh right, I'm actually a mum, like she's actually here.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've got someone to look after.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and obviously, like you do just fall into it and like everything falls into place, and it's fine, but it but it is scary.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know you said that you didn't like process it until you literally had her here in your eyes.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and what were those first few weeks like?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Challenging.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think also because I was the first one out of my friendship group friends to have a baby, so I and I didn't actually know anyone that was pregnant or had a child, so it literally just felt like it was me.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's hard, that's hard, yeah.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that was it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, it was it was challenging.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we were also we weren't actually living in our own house, we were living with my partner's dad.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because when we brought our house, it just hadn't wasn't ready yet, basically.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You really just push it back.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: No, yeah, um, so I feel like it would have been a little bit different if we'd had our own space, but we had like obviously a lot of support.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, so it was really nice, but it was just challenging, and I'm not used to just sitting still and like not doing anything.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that was the worst part for me.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I I remember I stopped both of my jobs, and then like four days later, she was here.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd only had like four days of not really doing anything, and then she was here.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then like for the first four months of her life, like before I started up the classes, it was literally going on like three walks a day, yeah.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, coffee, yeah, meeting up with friends.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Coffee dates are like crucial informatizing.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I don't know what I would have done.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: I was walking like 45 minutes into town and back.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think I was like the main reason I was doing that was just to fill up the day.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it can be really isolating, especially when you you're like um a first-time mum, because you like you say you don't know how to fill your days, you're just everyone else returns to work, don't you?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then all of them you're just left with this baby, you're like, What do we do for the day?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I get it, I get um and then you mentioned so four months after you gave birth, you decided to start an exercise class.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me all about it.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm so intrigued by this, I love it.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm we have a little look on your Instagram and I think it's great.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, sorry, yeah, go for it, tell me all about it, and tell me what made you think of it.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So basically, I have been personal training now since 2017.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think like when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was like just building up my client base.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted to like make her go at it because I've been doing online classes like during lockdown and things.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then I was kind of busy with like uni both jobs, so it never really like went anywhere.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted it to, but it just wasn't happening at that point.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I think I was a bit scared because I was like, I'm finally getting things going, and now I'm pregnant, and I'm gonna have to.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think at that point I was like, everything stops, like you can't do anything else, like you're just mum, and that's it.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, and then I also thought, oh I love fitness as well, but like how am I gonna fit in going to the gym and like exercising?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, I did try, but the motivation wasn't quite there because I knew I was gonna maybe like stick on an exercise video on YouTube, maybe do two minutes of it, and then I was gonna need to sort her out.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a bit like I didn't know if I was motivated enough.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I was just thinking about it and just thinking, like, would anyone be interested?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I hadn't really spoken about it to anyone apart from um a friend on like a very chaotic voice note.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was having a bit of an episode where I was like, the baby's been crying all day, and I'm like thinking all these plans, and my friend was like, It's a good idea, but like maybe just slow down because like and um I was still thinking about it, and then literally I went for coffee with a mum friend that I'd made, as you do, um, and she literally looked at me like mouthful of cake and coffee, and she was like, You have to do it, yeah.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you have to, and then four days later, like I ran the first class, four days literally I was that set on doing it.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: I got my friend that I'd originally told uh through the voice notes.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: She made me a poster, I advertised it on Facebook, and I had a like a very good response.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yeah, literally four days later, the first class ran.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And tell me about some of the classes you run because you can bring your baby.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you absolutely can.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's just amazing.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, tell me about it.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what you know, are you because I know you do like pregnancy ones and then afterbirth ones, like yeah, tell me about it.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, obviously, as I mentioned, when I had my daughter and I wanted to get back into fitness, yeah, I was a bit worried because I wasn't that motivated with having to like stop and start.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's because I was doing it on my own.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas now at my classes, I literally say to mums, like on their first class, if baby needs you, it's absolutely fine.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: They're going to at least one baby will be screaming throughout the whole thing, and it might be mine, but no one minds because we're all mums.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're all in the same boat, right?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's just it's more motivation, they're cheering you on.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I look at it.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so if baby needs you, you can feed, change, do whatever you need to do, and then just jump straight back into the workout.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's no pressure, no judgment.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: We know that babies are so unpredictable, so we just do what we can, and I think it makes it easier that we're all together.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had mums before that will be like they'll be getting on with their workout fine, like their baby will be asleep on the on the floor on the mat um that they've brought, and another mum will be struggling to get through the workout.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe she's done five minutes, and another mum will come up to her and be like, let me just take the baby, and even if it's like for five minutes, that's so important to me.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it sounds like you've built a really strong community of women, and I suppose you see, you know, people don't always say they've had their baby, and then I suppose you get a new influx of people, yes, definitely.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, actually, one of the first mums that came to my first ever class, she came to that one, she came to me for quite a while actually, and then she left to go back to work and things, and she would pop in occasionally when she had like a free day to come into another class.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I recently started up a new class called Mamas After Dark.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, for mums without their babies at like 8:30, you've put your baby to bed, it's your time, and she comes, she came back to me, and that is so special to me because she started three years ago, and now she's back, and it's that's really special.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's so nice that they you know feel like they're so comfortable to come back and and be in the class with you.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And some of the women that you see, they obviously probably haven't all had the most amazing journey or experience.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: And do you do you see part of that?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do you see sort of like the hard moments with them as well?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that's a challenging part of my it's I guess a job.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: It would never feel like a job to me, but um, I do see quite a few challenging moments, especially when a mum's had a really difficult night and they've they've still like amazingly got out the door and arrived at my class.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it can be quite hard because you want to do everything you can to support them.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but ultimately you don't want to bring a load of feelings up when they've come to like exercise.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you want it to be there at their time, sort of thing.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, forget about that.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I always stress to the mums that come to my class like if I ask how you're doing, I do want to hear the long version, don't just tell me, yeah, it's fine.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, is it though?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can tell, like I've been there, done that, still doing it, still in the trenches.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, I I I agree.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think you know, I am someone that obviously went through quite a tough time when I had my daughter, and I feel like you have spiny senses, don't you?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: You can tell when somebody's having a bad time, and I'm happy to listen to the long version or the short version.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really lovely that you've created like a community of women, and I just think it's great.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's amazing.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think you you've done amazingly.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: So well done.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um do you find parts of motherhood hard?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Hardest thing I've ever done in my life really so far.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think ever.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: You've obviously went on to have a second child, so tell me a little bit about that.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's difficult because I don't know if you've seen it online, but there's like the debate whether going from one to two children is harder than going from zero to one.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really dependent on the baby.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's dependent on you as a person or you as a parent, but I wouldn't say it's a lot harder, I think it's just like different parts a bit are difficult.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So when they both need you at the same time, and you're you're only one dad, so no.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: You feel like stretch armstrong because what do you do?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I always say to mums, it's like I had when um my son, I think he was like maybe like three months old, and I took my daughter to the soft play, so I was holding him in one arm, my dad rang me, so I was on the phone with the other hand, and I was trying to watch my daughter in the soft play.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think you need about a thousand eyes to like watch everything that's going on.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Then I had another mum ask me if I could like look after her bag so she could take her daughter to the toilet, and I'm like, Yeah, of course, that's fine.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, actually, mums are incredible, like you just do it, you just have to, and it's so hard, but you just you just I feel like um you don't have a choice.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, you don't have a choice, honestly.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um you mentioned when you um went on telling your second baby, how you're gonna love both of them and share your love.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because on my podcast before, one of my close friends had the same feeling, like she had two daughters, and when her second when she was bringing up her second, she was like, How am I gonna love another baby?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, but you do, right?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: You do.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I know that was one of your um sort of like scary moments, you're quite worried about it.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because I guess it's hard to imagine when you don't have that second child yet, but like it was a bit like how how can you love anyone more than your first child, but you do not more the same, but obviously the love is different for your first child and your second child because she will always be my baby, yeah.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But then now he's he's here, yeah, and it's it is difficult, but you just do, yeah, and it is amazing.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've heard like your heart just doubles in size, yeah, and it really does.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Did you find or I think you did you say your second pregnancy was and your birth was a little bit easier?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did you say that?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I had I was really lucky, um, and I'm quite careful with how I word this because I know that like we know birth is so unpredictable, yeah, and you can do like all the preparation in the world, and it might not go to plan.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: I did have two really positive birth experiences.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing, like that's yeah, it is incredible, and they are like I will I will remember these experiences for the rest of my life, but I do actually think about them every single day, um, especially my sons, because I don't know, even though my first was so positive and like everything went to plan, I guess.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um textbook birth.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um there was something about my second, I just felt a lot more empowered.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I felt like I knew exactly what I was doing, or I went into it thinking that I knew exactly what I was doing.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: There was no fear around it, so I think I just like went in there, got it done.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds really easy.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm making it sound so easy.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: You knew what to expect in a way, I guess.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, kind of that's it, and obviously it was hard, like sitting here and thinking back, like sat in that pool.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Would I do it again tomorrow?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like of course, like you always say like you would do it again tomorrow to have your baby, but it just was like one of the most incredible experiences.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you had a water birth for both of your children?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's yeah, that's awesome.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's almost the birth that everybody wants, isn't it?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just like because you know, water's meant to help with the pain or whatever.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's like that was my job.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was like a lovely water birth.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've had so many women say it, and you know, it's so nice to hear someone who actually got to have their birth, you know, their birth, because you can plan for it, but you can't 100%.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it never goes to plan.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think you can have a preference, can't you?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how you want to get that.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's it, you know.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, and I think yeah, probably water birth is probably one of the you know tall ones.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: 100%, but um, that's nice that you had like a nice experience both of your births.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: I know that you said the first one you were a bit nervous around you know having a baby, but the second time, you know, how did you find?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose you had a toddler and a newborn.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: How was that?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it is challenging, yeah.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can't lie and say it's easy because it's not.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it definitely helps that my partner was off for like four weeks, I think, yeah, to help like us just get our bearings.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think like it is hard, but at the start it's a little bit easier because the newborn does sleep most of the time.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, mine, my baby is not the best sleeper, and he hasn't ever been the best sleeper, but he did sleep quite a lot, so it made it more manageable.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of when the baby has more needs, other than just like sleeping, changed, fed a bottle, because yeah, there's a lot more to add to the list of things to do.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, so I think like that's something I wish I'd known that when because I remember saying to my my mum and my nan, who I'm really close to, have a lot of support from them.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Yeah, it's really important.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Oh god, this is easy.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then, like, famous last words, I think 12 weeks on, um that's when it kind of got a bit.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think maybe the hormones are like you're coming down off the like adrenaline, and then it kind of hit that actually it is really quite difficult, yeah.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, so that's something that I wish I'd known, and it's not to scaremonger anyone, it's just like preparation, yeah.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I have had a mum say to me, she had her baby, and the first thing she said when we met up afterwards, she said, Why didn't you tell me how hard it is?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's difficult because you don't want to put any negativity out, especially to a pregnant woman, you don't want to say anything negative.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because motherhood is like the most amazing thing in the world, it's such a blessing, but it does come with hard, yeah, hard time.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I uh I I kind of um what's the word?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with that because I remember saying to my friends, you know, you didn't tell me if it was gonna be this hard, and again, there's this like taboo around the subject that it it's bloody hard, but nobody talks about it, you know.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I think this is probably why I'm trying to do this, just to kind of you know get it out, and yeah, and it's not all sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately, and they are really hard, but it's beautiful, and I you know I love being a mum, it's just as any mum does, but it is there's there's challenges and there's days where you just think I know I can't wait for bedtime, honestly.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, but it's okay to say that, and I think that's also what we've got to like you doing the podcast, what I'm trying to do for my classes, is it's okay to feel overwhelmed, yeah, it's okay to feel touched out, and it's okay to have negative feelings if you're really concerned about them.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, like there is support out there, it just needs to be more widely spoken about.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, when you started your classes, were you how in terms of like your mental well-being, how were you at that point before you started it?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: Was there a reason?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Was that one of the reasons why?
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Or yes.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I know you said yeah when you were into your fitness, and yeah, but in terms of mental um like way, did you ever have any troubles or did you struggle?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I am no stranger to low mood and feelings of anxiety.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wouldn't say that it got worse after I had my first baby, but it was definitely more noticeable, I think, because of the hormones, the like identity shift, yeah, the feeling of having to slow down because I think the way I cope with things is staying busy, working, exercising, um, and the thought that I wasn't going to be able to do that, that's what was scary.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I think for me with the classes, is I I knew that being able to like access exercise easier, like connect with other mums, yeah.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that that was gonna help me, and it did, and I hope that it has helped other people as.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: well.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: Do the mums at the group do they um also I know they're there for the fitness class, but do they talk about kind of like their journeys or um like with you or the other mums like if someone's having a bad day or do you guys like have a little chat about it at the end?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like or yes so obviously like it's not um not a mum meetup.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Not a meeting meetup no.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um I mean sometimes we do do that as well um but it's not like a planned like discussion okay we're gonna talk about this this and this because whilst I think that's great there are some mums that don't want to share.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah yeah yeah and you have to respect that 100% but I think what's nice about my classes is the mums feel like they can open up and talk about it.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I have um especially like one of my classes one of the new ones Mamas After Dark one of the sessions I think we're there for a good 45 minutes after the class still chatting basically chatting about anything and do you know what sometimes it's not even about our kids and I think that's okay.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah because I think um we were having this discussion the other day and it's like I really wonder what my partner speaks about to his colleagues at work because I bet it's not about the kids.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because for us I'm I'm always speaking about my kids.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah it's like your um like go-to conversation if you're opener like about your kids like now I'm thinking what my husband because like what do they actually talk about because yeah I think it's really difficult as a mum because you become a default parent don't you in terms of everything that the child needs you know doctor's appointments or things like that but you become the default parent I just don't think sometimes a lot changes for the partner and I really struggled with that.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you if you felt like that but I really struggled with it I kind of in some ways resented my husband a little bit he got to return to like his normal life but now that you've created an outlet for women to come and return back to their old life especially with the mamas after dark the kids are in bed it's their time now and I suppose like you say fitness and stuff is so good for like mental wellbeing as well isn't it yeah and you needed that when you had your babies yeah um so yeah and then something else you mentioned to me and I loved it and you said you mentioned the importance of showing it for mums not just for the baby and I love that and I was just I wanted to share with you but I was gonna say today when I had my baby and my mum came to hospital she didn't even look at Olivia for the first five minutes she just came straight to me and so when you said that I got so emotional about it I was like oh my gosh like you you understand that yeah and tell me about that talk to me about that.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I heard the saying I think I said this to you like hold the mum and not the baby because when you've had even when you're pregnant when you've had especially after you've had that baby in those first few hours days you are so vulnerable yeah you've just been I don't like it doesn't even matter how like positive your birth experience was like your body's just been through trauma like it is so important for you to be seen yes the baby's here and the baby's lovely and the baby's always like main event but actually like the mum is just as important yeah and I think especially for friends that don't have kids yet I always try and say to them if their their friends are having kids um or having babies prioritize them prioritize the friend prioritize the mum because they are gonna need someone to see them more than ever yeah because I think like how can you be the best version of you for your babies if like you're struggling and if other people aren't like we all take care of the baby but who's taking care of us yeah it's so true though and I think and I'll drop like only because of my experience like I there's no secret I struggled after Olivia and I everybody it was Christmas time when Olivia was born and it was all everybody's off work and it was all magical and it was like oh the baby's here and in my head like I was screaming like no forget about her ask me how I am because I'm gonna tell you I'm not okay you know and that's why I sort of held off for so long saying anything um but going through that experience myself now makes me more like what you've said I you know yes how's the baby but how are you?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I just think it's so important like and there's a bit again that to boo subject of you don't want to um say that you're struggling you want to pretend that you're absolutely fine and motherhood is the best thing in the world but in reality sometimes you're having hard days and hard nights and it's not do you know what I mean?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's it I think for me like I I love the babies it's one of like the nicest parts of my jobs obviously like especially the early postnatal class I run because some of the babies are tiny like from six weeks old and they are cute and it is lovely but for me the first thing I would do is I speak to the mum when I met up with a mum after she had her baby um I think we were just we just went on a walk for maybe half an hour or so and when I got back to my house I thought I didn't even see the baby I didn't even look in the pram and I think it's because it I'm so like the priority for me is the mum always yeah and like obviously I love the baby but it's just the mum I think it's like women supporting women isn't it and also like you've been through it yourself you you get it you understand it you understand how hard it is um you mentioned a minute ago about your um is it the postnatal so tell me about all the classes because I feel like there's a few isn't there bring me through them all.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: So baby exercise is the postnatal hit class and that was the original class I started and it is obviously one of my favourites because it was the first one I did but I think when I went more into it I wanted to branch out and kind of reach more mums with different postpartum needs and fitness levels.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I then started PramFit so the outdoor class and that was really special to me because I think exercise or just being outdoors in general is so important for our mental health.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah and that helped a lot of mums and that was actually really popular when I first started running it and we actually ran it I think um right up until Christmas so I still had mums coming out when it was like Baltic cold and we just made it work.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: As long as it was safe then the class ran and even if it was I remember I'd have maybe one mum would turn up but it was just amazing and after the class I realized like I needed that so much.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I could have cancelled it but why would I do that because I also thought that mum might have really needed that and that's all that mattered to me.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah yeah absolutely and then when that class kind of came to an end for Christmas or like the winter period we started strong mamma so kind of an indoor take on Pram Fit but eventually we branched out and we've added like weights and resistance bands so mums can feel like they're doing a little bit more it's kind of a mixture of all my classes so like hip, weights resistance bands and they really enjoy that too and that's yeah a really nice class I think for that one because I've been running it now for maybe like two and a half years that one is probably one of the most popular ones and then I have another evening class called Stronger Together and this one is really important to me because there's no kids there's no babies so it's for mums.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: I also have mums are grandmas too and that's really that's really nice and I think I had a mum come to that and I'll always remember it.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: I had a mum come to it maybe like three months after she had her second baby and when I asked her how it was she looked at me and said I really needed that and I'll always remember that and that is like one of the main reasons why I run these classes because me too because I need it too um that one's really special to me and that's just kind of like a hit class um but like really funky music.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then I have Restore Mama and that is like my early postnatal class so for mums well especially for mums that have had like pelvic floor issues or diastasis erectile separation of the abs basically for mums that want to get into exercise again safely yeah no pressure if they feel like they can kind of up the intensity then we will but we'll just gauge on how they feel on that day and we started that one I think I started that class at 28 weeks pregnant with my second baby.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness and I loved it I was like I've got to start it I I was thinking about it for ages but wasn't sure how popular it would be and obviously at that point being nearly heavily pregnant I needed to make it worth it if that makes sense it was worth it and it's one of my favourite classes um and that class and the pregnancy class that I run I started up again at like four weeks postpartum because I just didn't want to take any time off it.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just loved it and I think for me like as I said before it's not a job to me this is my life and um like the mums that are in the community are so important to me um you've made a lot of friends through it haven't you yeah I have I've I've made friends through like my first baby and my second baby through the classes and that's really special to me because now both of my children have friends.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah it's really cute.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I think it's really lovely and like you said you kind of built a community of women and you've made some really strong friends and actually you know if you are the person that they look forward to seeing every week then that's just amazing you know and then I know you said your last class was which one was it?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: Mamas After Dark this is the new class.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes and this is for when the mum the babies are in bed yeah that's it and how often do you run all your classes like where do you fit all this in I wish there were more days in the week because I have so many ideas up here that I and no time I need more time I just need more time and it's not even a case of like finding childcare or like wait until they're in school I don't care about that I'll bring the baby with me but I just need more more days in the week because I just can't fit it all in.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah um but yeah so the classes do run I now run classes Monday to Friday because I've just started up the summer mama which is kind of like the new updated version of PramFit which runs every Friday which was important to me because a lot of the mums that kind of have left me now to go back to work their day off is a Friday yeah and I'd never run a class on a Friday before purely because I wanted like one day just to spend with both of the babies but because I'm going to be returning to work after a very fast year's map leave on a Friday I thought I might as well run the class on a Friday as well because why not?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Why not so yeah oh my gosh honestly hats off to you because it's just amazing what you're doing it really is thank you well well done too and I guess if anyone's listening to this um and they want to start they how do they like join how do they on your Instagram consuming so it's at baby be exercise isn't it at baby be exercise uk yeah very important we are in the um and this is for um there's pregnancy classes there's postnatal classes and then there's all the other different ones you have as well yeah amazing so pregnancy postnatal and beyond as well beyond there's no expiry date I love that there's no expiry date you can come forever honestly one of the mums at the Mama's after dark class that she was like when when do we retire and I was like never there'll always be something for you I love it yeah um and I guess my last question that I asked all my kind of like guests essentially um if you could go back to the early days of like post art and week what would you tell yourself now even on the spot good question it is okay I think I've got it yeah I think I would tell myself or tell any new mum whether it's like your first second third baby it's okay not to love every moment there's a lot of hard moments and sometimes you can feel very alone and isolated but just know that you're not yeah you won't be the first and you won't be the last to have negative feelings because it is hard.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah but you got this and it does get better there definitely is a light at the end of the tunnel yeah and there are people out there that want to support you.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and you're one of them yeah absolutely what you're doing you're one of them absolutely and I think for me with the classes I kind of just wanted to create a space for mums where they feel seen and looked after as well yeah yeah not just kind of the expectation where they have to look after everyone I love that yeah I love that thank you so much for sitting down with me you are absolutely amazing and yeah everybody who wants to follow Bex it's babybexized atuk on Instagram um and yeah thank you so much and your episode will be out on the 28th of May amazing thank you so much thank you