Latest / Big Talk About Small Business / Ep. 89 - Building Relationships That Matter

Transcript

Ep. 89 - Building Relationships That Matter · Big Talk About Small Business

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I don't want this guy to think I was dissing him.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Sure, I mean, we're friends, yeah.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: So I called him afterward and said hey man.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I said I'm sorry I saw you over there today.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I didn't say anything to you by the time you know I was going to you.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Guys were obviously having an intense conversation I was going to, but then I looked up and you were gone.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I just don't want you to think I was ignoring you, or what Didn't?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I just don't want you to think I was ignoring you, or didn't see you, Dude.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: that is such a good example of strong emotional intelligence.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Because you didn't have to make that call.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: All right, we are back in the fabulous, fabulous podcast videos dot com studio here in Rogers, arkansas today.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Sir, it's a hopping place man.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: It is hopping today, man.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: We got recordings happening all over the place up in here.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah we got lots of interesting people in the house's right they say yeah, um, but uh, for the next hour or so you're gonna have to suffer through, eric and myself.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Um, talking about Big talk, about small business.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: We're back again and it's going to be fun, let's do it, man, all right.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: What are we talking about today?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: We're talking about emotional intelligence or no building relationships.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Building relationships, emotional intelligence is part of that.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: It's definitely part of it.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: But before we get started, Okay.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: We're going to pull something out of this Y-Cat.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Ooh man, done that in a little while.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: We haven't done that in a while.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Let's see what it says.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: We're supposed to talk about this today.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Work-life balance.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: It's integration, that's your best word for it.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I like the integration because that makes a lot of sense, right?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, you got to be really careful, because when you're balancing something, it's like which one's higher than the other, right?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, there's always this teeter-totter going back and forth, and I have personally been through, but I've seen a lot of folks as well go through the.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I need to relax, I need to reduce stress, I need to chill out, I need to get a break, I need to escape.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, go get a job then, right, right.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Get out of this.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: The post office is probably hiring 45,000 a year.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: You can be a mail carrier.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: That's it, yeah, and so you gotta you, you, you gotta be very careful, because if you hang out on the teeter totter too long, then you'll get stuck there.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: It's really easy and it's a hard thing to get out Right.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like it is a lot like exercise, Like if you stopped working out, it's really hard to get back in it, even though you might need to recover and and and give yourself a break.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you do that too long, you'll get stuck in this pattern behavior and then your work that you got to do to get out of it is significantly harder.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: So it's like if you did that, like it was it really worth the break.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly what did you lose by taking that break?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Exactly, it's a loss of momentum in a business is crucial it is crucial.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: It in a business, is crucial.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: It is crucial, it is very crucial, and that's what you're trying to get.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: You're trying to get that flywheel to start turning.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got to inspire everybody else to you know if you're the leader, you're the business owner, you're the entrepreneur.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: If you're not willing to do it, do what it takes to be fully engaged.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: What makes you think anybody else is going?
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, and people are, they follow direction.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, action.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, not what you say.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Right, they will do exactly what you do.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: It's like saying to your kids don't smoke.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Exactly Okay.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't ever smoke, right?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't drink tonight.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're sitting there drinking.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: They're going to do it Exactly Do as I do, not as I say, and it's so critical in business.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Leadership's all about setting the example.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: The reality is, as a business owner, don't kid yourself about your ability to disengage.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: That's right, yeah, right, yeah, and you got to do and you cause.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: You got to also recognize that you're it's not just you, but you're setting a pattern, the compounding effect that you have.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Right, because if I need to go disengage, people see me disengage, everybody disengages, and then not only do you have to work yourself out of that hole, but you've got to work everyone else out of that.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: And it's funny, it's an interesting phenomenon, how, if I was to disengage, how quick everyone else will disengage, but when I re-engage, they don't re-engage quickly.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Boy, that is so true.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: To me it's kind of like being at the airport.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: You know, we've probably talked about the moving walkway phenomenon again, um, in the past, rather um, you know where people get on the moving walkway and they stop.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not cool, stop, okay.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: That's like having your business.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: It's a moving walkway, yeah, okay, you get onto it and you're going to stop stop.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Good luck, that was your chance to get ahead that's right, you lost it.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: You need to be walking forward, because that the whole thing's pushing you forward.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Yep, that's the point of that walkway exactly.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: It's not to relax, exactly, it's to get ahead it's a really cool analogy, actually, because I think everybody can visualize that.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: And if you're somebody that like, there's a difference.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Like if, if you were walking up to that walkway, right, and your mentality is is I'm tired of walking, I'm going to use this walkway so that I don't have to walk, but I'm going to get to the same place at the same time by taking it easy, yeah, whereas if you're late for your next flight and you see that walk away, your brain goes I can go twice as fast, exactly Then walking over here on the side.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: And so an entrepreneurial mentality.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: You have to be the person that sees walking twice as fast, not chilling because you, you literally don't have that luxury in entrepreneurship.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I think that might be a big reason why a lot of businesses fail is because people get into it with the wrong mentality.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Are you the person that, if you're sitting here considering entrepreneurship, are you, and you're at your current job and you're trying to weigh the decision?
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: You know I'm tired of what I'm doing.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's fair.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking about starting my own business, because I always wanted to build something or do something, but are you looking at that walkway as an opportunity for you to build what you want to do but also have a balanced, wonderful lifestyle?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Or are you looking at going to that walkway because you're really trying to build scale and have a big check at the end or make a lot of money or make a big impact and solve a market need?
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I've seen both types and the ones that are just trying to not walk as fast or get in your head as fast.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: It can be a really miserable existence.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: That's why you really have to have a passion for what you're doing, a hundred percent.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's gotta be something that you're obsessed with.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: That that's what carries you forward.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: That's why you're so motivated and so driven to do it, because you feel like it's really worth doing and it's really important that you do it and you really want to do it.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're trying and you really want to do it.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're trying to accomplish a goal.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, just like again.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Is my goal to like?
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: That's what it comes down to.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: I think it's that like again.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Put yourself, you know, listener, put yourself.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Visualize at the airport Are you making the decision to get on the walkway with the goal of relaxing and have and having it a little bit easier, but still going in the same place, or are you trying, is your goal to freaking, go faster and go further?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: yeah, and maybe here's the other thing maybe I can rest if I get there earlier.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe then I can rest, but I'm at the destination.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: You're at the destination, yeah, okay, see, that's the difference.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: That's the external sale, or whatever.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the buildup of the company to a certain level, mm-hmm, yeah, I think that that's the point.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: You can delay your gratification.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for the end goal, that's more important no-transcript thing to articulate in a conversation.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: So we're almost like what?
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: 90, 80 episodes now, yeah, we're close to 90.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Right, and we're still dissecting the answer no, that's a really.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: That's a good point.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Um, because when we started this show, you know, I remember you and I talked about it and I said you know what?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I don't have anything I'm trying to promote, right, and you don't either.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, we're not trying to be consultants to small businesses.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: That's not our, our, our goal.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: No, okay, here at all, we just want to share the information and we want to clear up a lot of misconceptions and bad information that's out there.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's just like I was talking today.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, our topic is relationships, right, and I was talking with a couple who has a business and they've been successful.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: They're, they're getting it off the ground.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: It's pretty interesting business they've got and they sell direct to the consumer.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: And you know, we were talking about their growth and they bootstrapped it.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, very impressive what they've been able to do so far.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Um, but they were talking about, you know well, the mentors they've had and and, and some of the coaches and things like that, and I said you know what?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Though?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I said be careful who you listen to.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, do they really have the credibility if they've been there, right, all right, there's a lot of people out there in this entrepreneurial ecosystem that we're part of in Northwest Arkansas, and you know what I'm talking about.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, 100%, and they get a lot of money for their nonprofits that are funded by the Small Business Administration, the Winrock Foundation, the SBA, nsf, whatever.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, but they haven't really done it.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: And they're giving them some bad information, right, and they're giving them some bad information, right.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think I'm not saying you can't learn from people who haven't done it and who've studied something extensively.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: You certainly can, but these people don't necessarily fit that domain either.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: That's right, you know.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it comes down like I think that you and I recognize, like after experience, like you can have the best plan, the best teaching, the most education, great experience.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: But it really comes down to how you wake up and see the world.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Boy, no kidding it.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: That is so true and and let me tell you something too, I think that you might be able to test this but but even this morning, I wake up with, for whatever reason, probably because of something I read or something I heard Usually it's a lot of this Somebody in my day, the day before or a few days before, has implanted fear and concern and worry and doubt in verbal conversation with me.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Right, and at that time, you know and I can remember some specific instances here recently as I'm thinking about this At the time that they had said that to me, I was positive and it didn't bother me.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: However, they have implanted a seed of doubt and negativity and fear into your conscious and the niggles in your subconscious and I go to sleep and my dreams mull through my little personal AI engine, right, yes, it's mulling through all these things and I wake up and I literally woke up this morning with just like this kind of heavy blanketed doubt, yeah, of all these things that are happening.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: And as a human, am I able to basically reason or emotionally get through that and say no, no, no, I reject that.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: That's not true.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: That's just a fear, that's somebody else's concern and so it makes it takes me on focus, but the ability to get through that individually without the help, yeah, and before you go out and you continue the cancer into the entire world, right, right, like that to me is the entrepreneur Like, above all, doubt, naysayers and circumstances, macro effects, all these things Can you individually rise up and say you know what I mean, I'm going to go get it.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Can you keep the?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: vision.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: It's just all there is to it.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: No, you're right Can you keep the vision, can you keep the vision, can you refine it, because it's your responsibility as an entrepreneur.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: That vision, that's so, that's so true yep, well, we call those the 3 am, heebie-jeebies or whatever.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Usually it's not.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Usually by the time I wake up I'm I mean, I'm already getting better from that but 3 am well, that's a dark time period, bro, can be a dark time, I tell you.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Last night I was up so many times, but toward the dog, that one of our dogs is so afraid of storms, oh my god, it's terrible but is this your experience, like if you get woken up, like, say, it's like that happened to me a couple of times ago, the dog freaking woke me up yeah, fighting in the kennel or something right, yeah, yeah.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: But once I'm up, yes, boom, the brain starts acting and it starts thinking and processing about what all I need to do well, I didn't get done.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: What all is freaking out?
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I make a lot of do lists at 3 am because of that, yeah, but yep, you got to keep the vision.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: You gotta, you gotta keep it alive.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Um, the people you get advice from yeah, we're talking about relationships today yeah, are so critical.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: It's always best, if you want to be an entrepreneur in my opinion at least, and I doubt you would disagree with this hang out with other successful entrepreneurs, not failed entrepreneurs, not people who've never been entrepreneurs, not people who've never been entrepreneurs, not people who've never had a business.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Hang out with other people who have actually done it and prevailed or are going through the process, or a minimum you'll.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: You'll inspire each other.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll advise each other.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: You'll relate to each other.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, and and that's, it's always good to know you're not alone and it's always good to learn from other people who've been there before you.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Sure, you know, and and again you know I think a lot of privately held business owners feel like they're alone out there operating.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: You know, nobody cares about me, nobody understands me.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Whatever, you know, probably more often than not their spouse or mate doesn't get it what they're doing.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, and they haven't watched it.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and and you know, um, it, it, it, it, it, it, it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: It's not healthy.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know you've got to have somebody else you can.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: You can talk to that.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I mean you know you've got to have somebody else you can talk to.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: That's going to keep you going and, you know, help you get through those times.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Well, that's basically what you and I are doing with this whole show.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: That's what we're trying to do.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: That's why, when we you know you brought this up about this idea, I mean to me I was excited about the topic, but the big excitement was just to have this dialogue because it is helpful.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: And now every week for the last almost two years, right, yeah, that we're able to have these conversations and I come out more encouraged, a little bit more savvy.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: It's like our own little psychotherapy program that we share with the world, and God knows we need it.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: The best thing is that you and I don't approve or look at anything we talked about.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: It just goes and breathes.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: It does, it just goes, but which makes it a lot more fun.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: But let's talk about relationships.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: So they have been pivotal for both of us and continue to be.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: How does what real advice I mean I think everybody gets oh, relationships are important, okay, I hear that all the time.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Everybody says it, but put some teeth in it.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: How do you really form these relationships with other people who can benefit you?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying I don't want to look at it totally as a transaction either Um other people who inspire you, other people who, um, encourage you, other people it's not just ones that do business or find you money or whatever Um, how do you form those relationships in the first place?
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: And then, how do you sustain them?
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think that the how-to for me is I think it starts with some curiosity, you know, and just some genuine, I think, respect in the sense of where there's everybody you meet, there's something to learn, there's some sort of connection there, some sort of peace, that that you can, that you know, you, you get value out of meeting other people.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know, I mean, and I feel like that, especially in today's time, post the vid covid, yeah, you know, folks felt like that you can operate and live and work and enjoy life in isolation, yeah, and you don't have to like there's a.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: There is a phenomenon going on of where I don't have to meet other people, like, like I have my own, my tech stack can do a lot for me, I don't need to go out and shake hands and kiss babies and meet folks and all that kind of stuff, Right, yeah, and so they have like devalued relationship in general, and I think that that's very, very dangerous.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Well, it's just, you see it, and just like I'm not even willing to call somebody, I'll text and email only.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, I won't pick up the phone and actually talk, and the more, worse, like if you're at any Much less go see them Right, talk in the worst, like if you're at any, much less go see them right.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Or if you're at a coffee shop and you see somebody that you recognize and it's somebody that's clearly could give you good advice, or somebody you should get to know, yeah, and you just say, nah, I don't need that, I don't have to do that, no, you don't have to right, you know and I mean, but do you make the decision to do it?
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: That's where the winner is right there, the person that will, yes, that has such a high, you know, respect and appreciation for a relationship that that will cause you to overcome this, this basic, you know thought process of that relationship is valuable or not.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: And if you know that it is, it's a big deal.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: And I think that too, like overcoming your own fears.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Right, like a lot of folks, one of the big six or seven fears of all humanity is the fear of criticism.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: And so if I see you sitting at a coffee shop and I know you're Mark Zweig and I've seen you on this show, and I know you're an entrepreneur, I'm an entrepreneur Do I have the guts to overcome my own self-fear of being criticized for walking up and shaking your hand.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear you.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's a really good point.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, a lot of us are introverts at heart, yeah, and it's easier to not do that 100% Right, but you never know where that's going to go.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: That's the thing.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: You never know where it's going to go.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm sure you get this a lot like people reach out to you.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: They're like I want to talk with you, would you meet with me, talk about my business, or I just like to meet you.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know what I'm talking about.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Um, and it's easy to say no, I'm too busy right now.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I got 10 frigging businesses I'm trying to do, or whatever.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, we, you know, we, both of us.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: It, I get it, yeah, but you still need to invest a certain amount of time in those people and you just never know where those are going to go.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: You don't.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: And there's a karma to it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you help out other people, then the good stuff comes to you, buddy.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: It's true 100%.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I mean I feel genuinely I have been in a spot in both of these topics, right about approaching people.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: There's been some people I did not approach because I allowed my fear of criticism to get in the way and I just found it easier to walk away.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: And there's been times when people have reached out to me that I've like man, I don't have the time.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: And in both of those circumstances, any time that I didn't do what I should have done, I mean it's been damaging, but any time that I didn't do what I should have done, I mean it's been it's been damaging, but anytime that I have done, it has been positively, you know, beneficial.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, because I mean those relationships they just compound, compound, you know, like, and you're, you're in the same boat too, like here we are, you know, after a certain 10 year in our life and experience, and we have networks, right, I mean I got people I can call that I know would help me out or that would be really perfect for somebody that's starting out new.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I can make a phone call and get connected really easily and it makes a big impact.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: But that didn't happen in a half a year.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: This is over a decade, two decades worth of having a very high respect and continuous work towards building relationships, and then also you just have a network.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: That's how networks start.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: yeah, it's true.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: It's because, like just today, the people I met with are in a particular industry where I have a friend that they were aware of who started a business in the same industry.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: It's been very, very successful.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, and they asked me if I would introduce them to this individual, which I'll be glad to do, cause they're on a parallel path.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: They're just not as far down the road as as he is.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And?
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And why do I have a relationship with the other guy, though, in the first place?
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, because I reached out to him, because I liked what he was doing, cause you're interested.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Exactly, I thought this is a really cool concept.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: What's this guy doing?
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, how is he doing it?
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: How did he get this business where people are buying directly from him?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, god knows, it's hard.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: If anybody's got a product business out there where you're trying to sell on your own website, hard getting days getting people to your website, man, it's hard.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: It's always underestimated in my experience.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you'd agree with me or not.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: dude, a thousand percent it's, it's hard for the smallest to the biggest brand in the world it is.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: It is so hard.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: That's why Amazon and Walmartcom and eBay and those things exist, and Etsy, yeah, because it's hard driving people to your house.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: But anyway, here's somebody who's done it successfully in the same industry.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Be great, you know.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Know, maybe you can be very helpful with these people at this point.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: He's already achieved his success.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not like they're a threat, right, right and um, and he's a nice guy and he probably um, you know, but it's because I know the guy.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I invested the time to get to know the guy.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I invested the time to get to meet the people who who reached out to me and put them together.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe something good will come out of that.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: You know what good specifically is going to come out of it?
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, right, I don't know right now, right, but you plant enough of those seeds over your entire career of 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, yep, and wow, you know it's funny.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: You can say plant seeds like investing in relationships is like plant, it's like you know it's farming.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, right, you're just planting seeds over time.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know that there will be a harvest at some point, but some of them die, some of them die some, you know I mean.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: But it's definitely not like hunting and you go out for hunt and you kill and then you get business and I think that's a very bad perspective of building relationships.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: You know, and I've never had that mentality.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: I think that's why I ended up building a good and saying you know, we built good networks.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Because we don't approach it that way.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I don't see a relationship from somebody as a opportunity for me to make a deal.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I see a relationship as okay man that person might have you know there might be.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I could benefit greatly from sales by getting to know that person, but my motive is not to do that Like I completely take it off the table.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: I don't even want my brain going down that way of looking at another human being as somebody that's going to help me gain.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yes, and if and if I can't get my gain out of that human in that relationship, then I'm out of the relationship.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's very bad way oh, it is, and you know, it makes so much sense to me.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Um, when you think about it like that, um it.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Whenever there are people who have just an expectation of what they can get out of you.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: You sense that and you don't want to deal with them.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: And you got you know, no, 100%, and that's what causes this hesitation for a lot of people to meet with folks.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: But but the people like, if, if I was going to introduce somebody to you like this, you know I would meet with this person first.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: They asked to meet with Marcus Wag.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I'd be, I'd ask you know, yeah, I'd be happy to maybe make that introduction, but I'm not going to actually make that introduction unless I know the person I'm meeting with has a genuine sense of just meeting you yeah, it's like I want them to invest in my company.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: No, I'm out yeah, I know I'm not gonna pass that email over for you, bro.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah I know that's that.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I, I do.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: I do you think it because you and I both grew up in service related businesses.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: That that's why we have that mentality, as opposed to, let's say, we grew up in a product business where you're just selling a product.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: That like relationships, because if you're serving clients, yes, everything's not about how much money I'm going to make on that job, it's more of the.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at the relationship.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: They need help?
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, we'll help them out.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Does that cost us money?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that costs us money.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: We don't make money on every job we do for them, but it's all part of the relationship.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: It's necessary to sustain the relationship, to create goodwill.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think probably.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: So.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: You know, when you say that, like I'm thinking about, my first service job is waiting tables, oh, great experience.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Everybody should do it.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Everyone should be waiting tables.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I never did, but everybody should do it.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: I've worked on bikes, but you could say it's different, but in a lot of ways it was similar.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, very similar, because, like, if my job is how many, how much of a tip am I going to make?
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, am I going to make, and it's all about getting them in, getting them out, getting my check, you know, getting my tips and that's it.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: But if you approach the table as, how do I make this a wonderful experience for them?
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: They work hard for their money.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: They're here to invest money in good food, good experience, and I have the honor and privilege to create this experience for them.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Exactly and think how happy they're going to be.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: And then that makes you happy.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: You feel good, you did something good, yeah, when you have a table of four people or my favorites were the bigs, like.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: I worked at the Olive Garden back in the early days I know it is one of the fables.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: I helped them open it up but they had this.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: They called it the farm room or something like that, but it was this semi-separated room that had like a tin top table, and so it was for big families that came in.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Well, very few of the waiters really ever wanted to work that because it took a lot of work.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, however, I love to work it because I had this chance to be the maestro of this family experience and they would come in and I would have them waters, I would make sure that they got their appetizers, they got their check fast and make jokes and I would just get to know the people and then they walk away and their family had great time relationally together, right, and the in the business is represented.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Well, I always got tipped a little bit better because I gave them a great experience.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and you feel good, you feel like you accomplish something yeah, maybe they come back.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: And next time they come back in they go, I want that eric guy.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Can we sit with him?
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: He was so much fun.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, you know and that builds your repeat business and I mean it's just good.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's, it's so true and it's also, you know, like you said, I think it's very rewarding when you can connect people who help each other.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Again, I did that recently.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I connected two of my friends.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I got a call from one of them today on the way up here in my car telling me I just got together with so-and-so.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you for introducing me to him.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: What a great guy.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: We had so much fun talking together and we've got so much in common, yeah.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: And I thought, yeah, that's nice, I feel good about that.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: You know, it was good.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I connected the two.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Maybe they can work together, maybe they won't.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: You know, my friend, they're both my friends.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: You know, I got a call from one of them thanking me for it.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: That makes me feel like I helped him out, you know you know, as you're talking about this market, makes me think about just the question in general of how to start a successful business, and the reason it's so challenging to answer that is because it's not one thing.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Amen to that.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: And honestly, I don't know that I necessarily know a really good answer, other than there's this flywheel that is very soft and mushy and it's a comprehensive thing and it's and it becomes this momentum.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: You know it's the same thing that relationships do.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, like you've got to look at relationship building as it's a long-term farming exercise that you just respect and understand and you know intuitively that it's a good thing.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, human beings are part of our life and our existence.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: It's good to help, it's good to you know, to have these relationships and have conversations and over time it just builds itself.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: It generates a flywheel effect.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: That's like a perpetual motion machine.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: It is, yeah, it just keeps driving you forward it does it does.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: It is not a single.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: There's not a single relationship in my life that I can point to right that that helped me become successful in whatever I've done.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: It is a comprehensive yeah, it's a sweet, it is a yes, it is a sweet.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: It's a sweet, it is a yes, it is a sweet.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: It's a language, and that's the point of the word network, right, there's a network flywheel effect that develops Right and this person talks to this person about you.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: They both agree and there could be some negatives in there, but if they both agree, he's a good guy, you know.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like I really like it.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: There's something about that person right, and it's because I want to get to know this other person.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: They remember that.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Like right, anybody that has you know has a meeting or or like you're in any relationship.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: If I was to dedicate more of my effort to listening to you and understanding you, you're going to greatly appreciate that.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Doesn't matter if it's marriage, friendship, friendship business anything, yeah, and so that's what you do.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: That's your emotional intelligence.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: What about?
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: People say emotional intelligence is such a huge factor.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've got a stat here 90% of top performing employees possess high emotional intelligence.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: It says influencing 58 of job performance.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Source electoral q.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that is, but, um, I don't exactly understand those percentages.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: But I'll say, anecdotally, the ones that have good emotional intelligence are the ones that get ahead right.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's like I've got, you know, I got this 14 year old daughter.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know you got girls too.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: You know she's my youngest one.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Um, she's probably, of all of them, maybe the least academically oriented.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, she does okay in school.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: It's not that hard to do well in school these days.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: I don't think the standards are super high.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Truthfully, she probably never read an entire book cover to cover.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: She became a mature person who could read anything.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: However, emotional intelligence-wise, she's probably at the top of all my kids, and so I have just very high expectations for what she's going to be able to accomplish.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she knows how to make relationships with other people.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: She's tuned in to other people better than any of them.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: And it's such a great skill, you know.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, she's got an older sister.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: The next one up is a straight, a student.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: She does not have the same degree of emotional intelligence.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to say she won't be successful either, because she will be, but maybe not in the same way or maybe not to the same extent as the younger one that seems to be so much more tuned into the relationships.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: And I think that there's a misconception that emotional intelligence is only reserved for those extroverted, outgoing type people, and it's not true.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: It's something you can totally learn, just like the iq right.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: I mean like you can.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: You can improve, you can learn, you can research, you can, but you understand you said it early on, though just ask more questions.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: just stop talking about yourself, yeah, and ask more questions about the other person, not only will you learn from them?
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: they will like you more 100% and people you know and I think you know.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Emotional intelligence to me comes into like reading the written, reading, the disposition of somebody.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: Seeing how you're being perceived individually 100, like you're talking about the coffee shop, if you, if I see at the coffee shop and I see that you look frantic, yeah, right, or that you're under a lot of pressure or you're busy, you're trying to get right, does that mean you're gonna stop and and, yeah, and try to have this long conversation?
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: No, I might, but I do see significant value in, in, in, like, as you're walking out, that I'm walking out the same time and I go.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: Mark eric again, we met the other day.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: Sure, good to see you, have a great day.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a relationship build that was emotionally intelligent.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: That I recognize.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: You're busy, you're going to appreciate it, you're going to remember me, but I didn't negatively disrupt you and and make your day a little worse.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Like I let you go, yeah, but that's an emotional intelligence.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: You made that decision.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: You, you, yeah, you.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: You were astute enough yeah um, like today.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, you and matt waller.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Both were in the coffee shop while I'm talking with these other people.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: You could see we weren't having a stressful conversation, right?
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: You look at the body language, how we're sitting there, the expression on our faces, whatever the fact that you're looking up and you're smiling and you're happy to engage Right.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Totally appropriate to engage in that scenario.
• 36:41
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• 36:50
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• 36:51
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• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Dude, it's so funny we're talking about this.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: I have been in coffee shops talking with somebody about some sort of significant conversation and I look up and I see somebody and I can I can recount exactly who the person is and I don't know this person very well, right Like.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: But I do know them from other events and we have had times where we've talked in rooms together.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Sure, and this person literally I'll be middle, talking to you about something serious.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: I see them, I wave at them, but I look back at you and I keep talking.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: Right, I have a clear signal to that person.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be interrupted right now, but this freaking person has the audacity to come and walk up to the table and stand there with a big smile on their face and I have to.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: They didn't have the emotional they did not Required.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: No, they didn't.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: They're trying to build a relationship with me, right, but I'm in my mind going I don't want anything to do with it.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: That's a negative.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's a funny.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, this coffee shop over here blows my mind.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Over here blows my mind.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, anytime you go in there, you probably know half the people in there.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it's just network city, baby, it is absolute.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Like the hub of coffee shop networking in this area blows me away.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: And I see people.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: I know their face but I can't remember who they are.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in fact, I saw a couple of them today.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in there, but um, so that's a good, that's a good point.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: I was having lunch with my wife recently at a place just a couple of months ago and then I saw a guy I know who was well across the room.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: He was obviously having one of these intense business discussions.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Ok, I did not go over there and introduce myself, but I also and introduce myself, but I also I I wanted to say get.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: When he got up I was going to say goodbye somehow I was talking with my wife were distracted enough that I would look up and they're gone, yeah, okay.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: So I thought to myself you know what?
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I don't want this guy to think I was dissing him.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: Sure, I mean, we're friends, yeah.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: So I called him afterward and said hey, hey, man.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I said I'm sorry, I saw you over there today.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I didn't say anything to you.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: By the time I was going to you guys were obviously having an intense conversation I was going to, but then I looked up and you were gone.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: I just don't want you to think I was ignoring you or didn't see you.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: Dude, that is such a good example of strong emotional intelligence.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Because you didn't have to make that call.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I did not have to make that call at all.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: I could have just left it go, but I just but you're sustaining how that that you could have affected that person.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Right you might think, yeah, swyke's kind of an asshole.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: He saw me, didn't even, didn't even, you know, make any attempt to recognize me.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what a jerk.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate him, you know what he's gonna to recognize me.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what a jerk.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate him.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: You know what he's going to do.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: He's going to go talk to his buddies and say you know what?
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's swagger.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who the hell does he think he?
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: is he thinks he's such an?
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: asshole.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: But being aware like that is so important and I think that people disregard that.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: And it's not just emotional intelligence about that person, but it's when you leave and you go, man, I should text that person or whatever.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: But then you're like, oh no, it's not a big deal, that's not emotional intelligence on your part about the other person.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's caring and it's having when we say emotional intelligence, is caring genuinely enough about the feelings of other people exactly.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: I tell you it's.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: This is really interesting.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I never really thought about this like this.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, and you know, some people might say I don't have the ei I should have.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: But I was at the country club pool here this last weekend and I went there with my one of my daughters and her friend and myself.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: My wife was going to come along later.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: So I walk in and I go past this woman and she says hey, mark swig.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: And I'm like hey, I could not remember who she was.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, it, absolutely it.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Just, you know, I mean I'm getting older, dude.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: I thank god I got my wife, because generally between the two of us you'd be like, okay, we put the name together, yeah.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: So anyway, about 15, and you know it's bugging me, I can't think of her name.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: She called me by my name and my daughter comes over and says, hey, um, did you see so-and-so's at the pool here?
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh God, now I know who that is.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: So I got up.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: By then this person had moved across the pool to a different place.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: First she was on my side, then she moved over to the other side where the cabanas are.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: I went over there and said something to her like hey, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you when you, when I first came in, I you know you're out of context.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: This is not where I'm used to seeing you.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah and and um, I think it was appreciated.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I guess that's all I'm saying.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I acknowledge it.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: I could have just said, oh god, that was terrible, I'm embarrassed and not gone over there.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: But I made the effort to go over there to at least express the fact that I felt bad about not initially recognizing who she was you know what, what's funny when we're digging in this conversation a little more.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: It is very deep, it's very intuitive, because a lot of our feelings and our emotional intelligence is genuinely baked in and taught to us very young ages, like we don't.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: We don't even know how we learned them, but we just learned.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: And it's usually our family, right, you know, and, yeah, those circumstances could be impacted by a million things that you have no idea.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Why, right, you know, you don't know why your mom or your dad was always angry or they were tired or depressed or what all these negative things, or why they're super happy and go lucky and whatever, and have their perspectives.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: We just kind of grow up in it, you know, but it's, I think, when you get into the and then you go to school and then you have all these other rules and regulations and but then you go into the professional life, right and now now.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: But then you go into the professional life, right, and now it's go time.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: It's like who are the ones that really win in business?
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: They're the ones that have got this confidence and this emotional intelligence and they're thinking, they're always navigating, they're always winning, they're competing, they care, huh, they care, they care, they care about their success.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: Everything, yeah, everything, like just hammer down, pedal to the metal.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: They care, huh, they care, they care, they care about their Everything, yeah, everything, everything, like just hammer down, have it in the metal.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go get, you know, I'm going to get what's mine, you know, and I think that people like we don't understand, like why we might behave the way that we behave, because you know but it all in the swimming pool circumstance you're talking about somewhere along the way, you, you, you have learned the importance of making sure that somebody else feels a certain way.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know that that's important to them.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: It's important to you that they feel that way, and so you do have a higher emotional intelligence that maybe a lot of other folks don't.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like they don't care.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't care how you feel, like it's not don't.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like they don't care, yeah, they don't care how you feel, like it's not their problem, right exactly?
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: they don't care how you feel, and that doesn't engender any loyalty on your part.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: It doesn't.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: And I'll give you a warm and fuzzy.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: It doesn't.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: And I and I'll tell you like how is the rubber meets.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: The road here is we're talking about entrepreneurism, we're talking about building a business.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: You don't have to, as an individual, have to have high emotional intelligence.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: You can totally be a jackass and not care about anybody's feelings.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: There are people who succeed like that, 100%, and they, you know, those folks either work they can be successful in business or they can work other places where they don't ever have to have emotional intelligence because it doesn't matter, like the post office.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're talking about.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Right, there's no standard for emotional intelligence.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: That needs to happen.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: But if you're an entrepreneur, your chances of success you'd probably be more successful, though, at the post office if you had it.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, you'd rise to the brinks, you'd become a manager, you'd become the postmaster you met.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Whatever I mean, yeah, yeah I mean, get it emotional.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Intelligence always benefits.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: It does.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: But if you're an entrepreneur, you need to have, you need to dig into this puppy.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, you do.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: You need to focus and listen and watch and research and practice and improve and grow in emotional intelligence.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Put yourself into the uncomfortable position, sometimes just because, even if you don't want to, because you feel like you have to.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to understand what this means.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: What it means to impact other people in the value of relationships and having the emotional intelligence to know the value of relationships.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: Like, if you don't see value relationships, you're discounting them and you're an entrepreneur and you for some reason think that that's something that can be done, because you saw Mark Zuckerberg do it in a news article that you read 15 years ago and he's like he doesn't have to have it, I don't have to have it.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Bullshit.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you just minimize your chances way, way, way, way down I, it's so true.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: I don't I don't know where I necessarily learned it, but I I can say really early on in my professional career, post-grad school, I was selling expensive professional services.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I had success with it, and one of the reasons why was I just called my clients and potential clients when I had nothing to try to sell them at all.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: You'd be friends with that, of course.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: I had a guy tell me you eventually ended up being the reason I got hired at a company that what he liked about me was I would just call him up and talk to him.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're genuine.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: He just said.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: You just call him up and talk to him.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're genuine.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: He just said you just call me up and talk to me.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: You had nothing.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: You were trying to sell me.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that isn't hard, that was easy.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, it was easier for me than trying to sell him something.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: You know 100%.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I mean people look man, I think the one of the biggest things, and here's the, and I think one of the biggest things and here's the okay.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: So I know I got to roll, we got to roll.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: One of the big values of relationships is that you've already established the credibility, the likability, the connection.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: People usually don't buy things until they're ready to buy them.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Exactly If you convince them.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: Especially in a B2B environment, they're not ready to buy them.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Exactly if you convince them, especially in a b2b environment, they're not going to buy it impulsively, like I just feel like hiring something.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just yeah, this guy convinced me that I bought me to buy something, right, like that's.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: That's usually like you can win that way, and I think there's an art to that and I have respect for that.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: But the reality is is the way I think about it is that people know who I am, my character, they know what I do, they see my experience and when they finally say, you know what, I think that doing video ads on social media is actually a good idea.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Right, we need to do that.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Who do I trust to do that?
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: And it's an easy, an easy, and then I'm happy to help.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: And then selling is helping.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: Again, I always go back to Matt Lewis, who's general manager at Lewis Automotive.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: He always says first they got to know you, then they got to like you.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: They're not going to like you if they don't know you.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: And then, if they like you, then you got to get them to trust you.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: They're not going to trust you if they don't like you and they don't know you.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: There's an order of operations there, and then selling is just helping.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: Help them get what they want Done.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: Help them get what they want.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: I mean that to me is just a beautiful relationship there and then sustain that relationship over time and build a lifetime relationship and a lifetime customer yeah, and you, once you have trust, you got to keep that trust earned right and don't let that, because you know if you break that trust then I mean it ruins the relationship.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: It does.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: You're gonna wish they didn't like you and then at one point and you're gonna wish they didn't even know you.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like once you stray you.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: You are never going to be the same.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: I think that's a good way to end that.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: First they got to know you, Then they got to like you, Then they got to trust you.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: That's a good hot point for how to build relationships.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: I said and then you help, then you just help.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so easy, it's so much better.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: It is, I agree, feel better about yourself, man.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: I mean you're going to be more successful.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: Well, and one of the things about entrepreneurship that I can say that I enjoy the most is helping yes.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: I have helped to build something that has helped other people build.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: That's honor, that's gratitude, that's people build.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: That's honor, that's gratitude, that's oh, absolutely that lets me know that I've accomplished something in my life and that's one of the great things about owning your own business is you can make the decision to help.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: You don't have corporate or some manager telling you you can't give this away or you can't spend your time like that or whatever.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: You can make that call that's right, entirely on your round.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: That's a great thing.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: That's freedom.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: That is, it's valuable stuff.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Well, hey, we're out of time.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: We are.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you to our listeners and to you, eric.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: If you do want to check out our past episodes, get big talk about small businesscom.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: If you've gota product or service that you think we might be interested in representing, uh, send us a, a message and we'll be glad to take a look at it.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Yep and uh, otherwise, uh, we're going to be back here again next week.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: Aren't we for a big, for another episode of Big Talk?
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: About Small.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: Business.
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: Thanks for tuning into this episode of Big Talk About Small Business.
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: If you have any questions or ideas for upcoming shows, be sure to head over to our website, wwwbigtalkaboutsmallbusinesscom and click on the Ask the Host button for the chance to have your questions answered on the show.
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: Stay connected with us on LinkedIn at Big Talk about Small Business and be sure to head over to our website to read articles, browse episodes and ask questions about upcoming shows.