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481. The Neuroscience of Self Control · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:14
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of today.
0:17
Speaker 1: So this is a first of I really hope many,
0:22
Speaker 1: and it is a neuroscience off dot dot dot series
0:26
Speaker 1: that I want to do. My aim is to do
0:28
Speaker 1: this every second Monday. It might not be exactly every
0:31
Speaker 1: second Monday, but that's really what I want to aim at.
0:34
Speaker 1: The reason I want to do this is because I
0:37
Speaker 1: obviously love neuroscience so much. The last few months, especially
0:42
Speaker 1: after the twins and everything, I haven't done as many
0:45
Speaker 1: of these episodes like going deep out into the science,
0:48
Speaker 1: purely because it does take a bit longer to flesh
0:51
Speaker 1: out these episodes, and it also requires a lot more
0:54
Speaker 1: kind of rehashing things that I have learned, and then
0:58
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like re freshing my knowledge on those things.
1:01
Speaker 1: A lot of reading, a lot of diving deep. And
1:03
Speaker 1: I was a bit time poor. Now I am getting
1:05
Speaker 1: a bit better with my time management with the kids
1:07
Speaker 1: and all of that. So I really wanted to do
1:09
Speaker 1: more of these neuroscience episodes because they are some of
1:12
Speaker 1: my favorite to do. I love my psychology episodes, but
1:15
Speaker 1: I really need to kind of scratch this each of
1:17
Speaker 1: the neuroscience episodes. Another reason why is because I was
1:20
Speaker 1: diving into my most successful episodes and one of the
1:23
Speaker 1: most if not the most successful episode other than the
1:26
Speaker 1: first episode I ever did because a lot of people
1:28
Speaker 1: when they find my podcast go back and listen to
1:29
Speaker 1: the first one as well, is one that I released
1:32
Speaker 1: last year called to the Neuroscience of Determination that blew up.
1:36
Speaker 1: Everyone loved it. So I'm like, we need to do
1:38
Speaker 1: more of these specific neuroscience ones where I'm talking about
1:41
Speaker 1: the brain, I'm talking about different regions of the brain,
1:44
Speaker 1: I'm talking about all of the above. So that is
1:46
Speaker 1: what this episode is going to be about. I'm also
1:48
Speaker 1: bringing in a relevant brain fact brand Fact Love. So
1:51
Speaker 1: I'm thriving on this episode. I really hope you guys
1:54
Speaker 1: love it as much as I do. And I just
1:56
Speaker 1: feel like it's a very sciencey but very practical, very
2:02
Speaker 1: information dense but graspable if that's a word too as
2:07
Speaker 1: many people as possible, I think, when I can put
2:10
Speaker 1: this information together and relay it in a way that
2:12
Speaker 1: makes sense to everyone that can be applied by everyone,
2:15
Speaker 1: then it's something that's going to be that you can
2:18
Speaker 1: listen to again and again and really have, Like what
2:21
Speaker 1: am I trying to say like, you've got like actionable
2:23
Speaker 1: steps that are measurable, that are tangible that you can
2:25
Speaker 1: apply to your life as of today to actually help
2:28
Speaker 1: increase your levels of self control. So this is why
2:31
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be an episode that hits
2:34
Speaker 1: home to a lot of people. Now, before I start
2:36
Speaker 1: the brain fact, before I do anything, you are listening
2:38
Speaker 1: to this episode on the it's a Monday, it's the ninth.
2:42
Speaker 1: I am recording this episode the Wednesday prior, and I'm
2:45
Speaker 1: so excited as my life update to tell you that
2:48
Speaker 1: I'm going to Melbourne for the Formula one. I'm going
2:51
Speaker 1: to be there on the Saturday. I'm going to be
2:52
Speaker 1: in Melbourne for Friday Saturday, but I'm going to be
2:54
Speaker 1: there on the Saturday, and I'm there for Quali and
2:58
Speaker 1: I'm so fucking excited. I have no words. I am pumped,
3:03
Speaker 1: and something that I am going to announce I can
3:05
Speaker 1: announce it on this episode because hopefully I've got my
3:07
Speaker 1: shit together and we've already done it. But I am
3:09
Speaker 1: starting a second podcast and it is so not relevant
3:12
Speaker 1: to what I do here. It is purely a hobby
3:15
Speaker 1: passion project. But I'm starting it with my friend Bella
3:18
Speaker 1: and we are doing a Formula one podcast. I'm so
3:21
Speaker 1: happy to announce that. I can't wait to do it.
3:24
Speaker 1: It's just going to be something fun, it's going to
3:25
Speaker 1: be a hobby. It's a passion project. It's something that
3:27
Speaker 1: I've wanted to do seriously since I went to the
3:29
Speaker 1: Formula one last year in Melbourne in Melbourne in Albert
3:32
Speaker 1: Park and it was just Yeah, I've spoken about it
3:34
Speaker 1: for literally a year, and I was just looking for
3:37
Speaker 1: someone who I could vibe off, who I could do
3:39
Speaker 1: this podcast with, that actually liked Formula one because there's
3:42
Speaker 1: many people, many of my friends that I've other but
3:44
Speaker 1: just not into Formula one, so it wouldn't work anyway.
3:46
Speaker 1: Bella and I we you know, we've met before, but
3:49
Speaker 1: then we really hit it off at Lucy Nicki's live
3:52
Speaker 1: show and this is where it all like blew up
3:53
Speaker 1: and we're like, we're doing we are doing a podcast
3:55
Speaker 1: on Formula one anyway, So that's going to happen. If
3:58
Speaker 1: not hopefully I've already we've already released episode. But I'm
4:00
Speaker 1: going to be a qualifying so as you listen to this,
4:03
Speaker 1: you will know that I've probably just had one of
4:07
Speaker 1: the best weekends of my life. Anyway, let's get straight
4:09
Speaker 1: into the actual episode of today, and that is about
4:13
Speaker 1: the neuroscience of self control. Now, because we're doing this episode,
4:17
Speaker 1: I wanted my brain fact to be short and sweet
4:21
Speaker 1: because it already is a science y episode as it is.
4:24
Speaker 1: But I am going to be talking about something that
4:25
Speaker 1: I'm going to bring up again later in this episode,
4:28
Speaker 1: so that way I don't have to flesh it out
4:29
Speaker 1: later on, I can talk about it now. And that
4:31
Speaker 1: is facts around adrenaline Nora adrenaline slash epinefrin Nora peneferin,
4:37
Speaker 1: and I'm going to talk about the difference. Okay, So firstly,
4:40
Speaker 1: let's talk about the difference between adrenaline and epinefrin. So
4:44
Speaker 1: you've got adrenaline, nour adrenaline, epineffrin, Nora a penefferent why
4:48
Speaker 1: they're different names. So then it's named purely based on
4:51
Speaker 1: the country that you're in and where you're reading these
4:53
Speaker 1: papers and these journals and stuff like that. So in
4:56
Speaker 1: Australia and in the UK, adrenaline and nora adrenaline are
5:00
Speaker 1: most commonly used. So for me and for most of
5:02
Speaker 1: the people that I speak to, whatever we would normally
5:05
Speaker 1: use the term adrenaline. Okay, when you're talking about you know,
5:08
Speaker 1: they're even brands called adrenaline and things like that in
5:11
Speaker 1: the US and in many medical papers coming out of
5:13
Speaker 1: the US and many other countries as well. You're looking
5:16
Speaker 1: at epinefrin norropenefern. Okay, but it's the same thing, adrenaline
5:20
Speaker 1: and epinefrin nor adrenaline nouroperenefern. It's the exact same thing.
5:24
Speaker 1: It's just a different name that's being used. Okay, they
5:26
Speaker 1: are the exact same chemical compound. Okay, But for the
5:31
Speaker 1: purpose of today's episode, I'm going to be using the
5:33
Speaker 1: words adrenaline and nora adrenaline if I can remember to
5:37
Speaker 1: drop in eperineffrin again to it. But like that is
5:39
Speaker 1: what I'm referring to when I talk about it later
5:41
Speaker 1: in the episode. Adrenaline nor adrenaline. Okay, but they are interchangeable. Now,
5:45
Speaker 1: what is the difference between adrenaline and nora adrenaline? Why
5:49
Speaker 1: they're two? Okay? They are so? Firstly, what are they?
5:53
Speaker 1: They are catecholamines, which is a class of molecules that
5:56
Speaker 1: acts as neurotransmitters and as hormone in different regions of
6:01
Speaker 1: the body. Okay, they mediate this fight or flight response,
6:05
Speaker 1: and it does this by increasing your heart rate, blood pressure, metabolism.
6:10
Speaker 1: Adrenaline primarily acts as a hormone. It's released in the
6:14
Speaker 1: adrenal glands and this is released during stress. So it's
6:17
Speaker 1: going to boost your energy, expand your airways. That's what
6:20
Speaker 1: the thing that increases your heart rate. It's like that
6:22
Speaker 1: oomph that you get for this fight or flight right
6:24
Speaker 1: and nor adrenaline acts as a neurotransmitter and increases alertness,
6:29
Speaker 1: it maintains blood pressure. It's working through like the sympathetic
6:32
Speaker 1: nervous system. Now when we talk about sympathetic nerves or
6:35
Speaker 1: sympathetic nervous system, it's this sympathetic nervous system is what
6:39
Speaker 1: activates the body's fight or flight. It's what prepares you
6:43
Speaker 1: to deal with danger or intense activity. Okay, that like
6:48
Speaker 1: dieted airways, the need to release energy, direct blood flow
6:52
Speaker 1: to your muscles. Anything that's going to prep your body
6:54
Speaker 1: to act quickly in response to either a threat, a danger,
6:58
Speaker 1: or something that requires in tense energy. So it doesn't
7:01
Speaker 1: have to be like life threatening thing. It can also
7:03
Speaker 1: be where you get this all for for adrenaline before
7:05
Speaker 1: you go on stage because you know that you need
7:07
Speaker 1: to be hyper alert. You're talking to a huge crowd
7:09
Speaker 1: of people. So that kind of thing. It's not always
7:11
Speaker 1: like I'm at death's door like it's for many other
7:13
Speaker 1: things where we need to perform. Athletes, you know, they
7:16
Speaker 1: will hype themselves up and get this surge of adrenaline
7:18
Speaker 1: before they go and do this whatever they need to
7:21
Speaker 1: compete in. Okay, now, nerves, the of the sympathetic nervous
7:25
Speaker 1: system are located in the thoracic and lumber spine, which
7:28
Speaker 1: is like opposite to this is the parasympathetic nervous system.
7:31
Speaker 1: So when you hear sympathetic nervous system, opposite is parasympathetic
7:35
Speaker 1: nervous system, which is your rest and digest. Okay, this
7:38
Speaker 1: is your conserving energy you're actually digesting, right, Your body
7:43
Speaker 1: is calming down after stress, your heart rate lowers down,
7:48
Speaker 1: You're able to obviously digest, urinate, salivation, all of that.
7:52
Speaker 1: This is kind of what balances out the sympathetic nervous system. Okay,
7:56
Speaker 1: so sympathetic and then parasympathetic. When I talk about doing
8:00
Speaker 1: that intentional sigh to calm yourself down, that's switching from
8:05
Speaker 1: this fyt or flight, sympathetic you know, heart pumping, all
8:08
Speaker 1: of that to this relaxed parasympathetic nervous system taking over
8:12
Speaker 1: where you're more in your rest and digestate. Okay, Now,
8:15
Speaker 1: little fun fact. I have done a brain fact on this,
8:17
Speaker 1: but I'm just gonna talk about it. EpiPen is named
8:21
Speaker 1: after epinephrin epi epinefrin pen. Okay, So when you have anaphylaxis,
8:26
Speaker 1: you get injected with a hit of epinefern adrenaline. Okay.
8:30
Speaker 1: And if you understand now what adrenaline does, or what
8:33
Speaker 1: epinefrin does, that is it kicks your body into fight
8:37
Speaker 1: or flight. So when you're getting this surge from the EpiPen,
8:42
Speaker 1: it's mimicking the actions of the sympathetic nervous system basically.
8:45
Speaker 1: So you're stimulating these adronergic receptors and it's this dose
8:50
Speaker 1: to kick everything inter ge and it counteracts anaphylaxis. Okay,
8:54
Speaker 1: but you're just getting a dose of epinefrin or adrenaline. Okay,
8:57
Speaker 1: that's why it's called EpiPen. Okay. Interesting, anyway, that's the
9:01
Speaker 1: brain factor of today. Now let's get straight into self control.
9:05
Speaker 1: What is self control? There's so much that I'm going
9:09
Speaker 1: to talk about in this episode, but before we do that,
9:12
Speaker 1: I want to cover roughly like the topics that we're
9:15
Speaker 1: going to be talking about. So we're going to be
9:16
Speaker 1: talking about what is self control, what affects self control,
9:20
Speaker 1: what makes it worse, Basically what brain regions and what
9:24
Speaker 1: neurotransmitters are involved, and what you can be doing to
9:28
Speaker 1: improve your self control. These are like measurable, applicable things
9:32
Speaker 1: that you can start doing today. Okay, that's what we're
9:35
Speaker 1: going to be covering in today's episodes. So one of
9:37
Speaker 1: the things that make self control so important when we
9:39
Speaker 1: talk about what self control is, it has this causal
9:44
Speaker 1: relationship to life satisfaction and happiness. Okay, So studies have
9:48
Speaker 1: shown that the more self control you are able to
9:51
Speaker 1: have in your life, the more life satisfaction you have
9:54
Speaker 1: and the happier you are because your focus is on
9:59
Speaker 1: acquire positive gains. When you have good self control, you
10:02
Speaker 1: are able to put your focus on acquiring positive gains,
10:05
Speaker 1: and that way you're achieving things. You're growing, you're adapting,
10:08
Speaker 1: you're evolving, okay, and therefore greater life satisfaction, more happiness. Okay,
10:13
Speaker 1: you've got a better approach at your behaviors. And then
10:17
Speaker 1: this is really important, you are less prevention focused. And
10:21
Speaker 1: when you become less prevention focused, and this is like
10:24
Speaker 1: avoiding losses, you become less avoidant. In general, people who
10:29
Speaker 1: are too prevention focused are less likely to have high
10:32
Speaker 1: levels of self control because you feel like, I don't
10:34
Speaker 1: I can't control myself sol I've got to like protect this,
10:36
Speaker 1: protect this. You're kind of in this reactive state, right,
10:39
Speaker 1: and then you become avoidant. People who spend too much
10:42
Speaker 1: energy on prevention avoiding losses become avoidant. And then if
10:47
Speaker 1: you can counteract that and have more self control, then
10:50
Speaker 1: you have greater life satisfaction and greater levels of happiness. Okay,
10:55
Speaker 1: so what does self control actually mean in like in
10:59
Speaker 1: the brain? Is it you were raised? Is it a
11:01
Speaker 1: fixed trait? Can it be changed? What you know, what
11:04
Speaker 1: is causing all these levels of self control? It can
11:07
Speaker 1: be changed, okay, and it is not a fixed trait.
11:12
Speaker 1: So that is why everyone should listen to this episode.
11:16
Speaker 1: Now when we want to do things in our life,
11:18
Speaker 1: anything that you want to do, whether it's eating better,
11:21
Speaker 1: not having that glass of wine, starting to go to
11:23
Speaker 1: the gym every single day, starting to read every single day.
11:25
Speaker 1: All the things that we want to do require self control. Okay,
11:29
Speaker 1: the actual doing of the thing is not that hard.
11:33
Speaker 1: We're not talking about acquiring a brand new skill. That's
11:36
Speaker 1: not what this episode is about. This is about are
11:39
Speaker 1: you able to direct yourself to do that thing that
11:42
Speaker 1: you are already capable of doing. All of us are
11:45
Speaker 1: capable of getting up out of bed, Okay, it's just
11:50
Speaker 1: about can you do it earlier. All of us are
11:52
Speaker 1: capable of making our way into a gym and doing
11:55
Speaker 1: something at the gym. We're all capable of not lifting
11:58
Speaker 1: a glass of wine. We're all capable of putting our
12:01
Speaker 1: phones down right. So it's not, oh my god, it's
12:03
Speaker 1: so hard. It's just the self control aspect of it
12:07
Speaker 1: that we're trying to tackle here. What is it about
12:09
Speaker 1: self control that either makes it so difficult to stick
12:13
Speaker 1: to what I want to do versus easy to stick
12:15
Speaker 1: to what I want to do? Okay? It's not about
12:17
Speaker 1: being physically capable, because we know we are. We're not
12:19
Speaker 1: talking about things that require a brand new skill. Self
12:22
Speaker 1: control is responsible for almost everything that you want to
12:26
Speaker 1: do in your life, and sometimes you find that you
12:28
Speaker 1: can master self control in one area like, you're really
12:31
Speaker 1: good to go into the gym, you're really consistent at
12:33
Speaker 1: doing that, But why is it that doesn't translate across
12:36
Speaker 1: to other areas in your life? And it doesn't. Once
12:39
Speaker 1: you understand how self control acts in the brain, it's
12:41
Speaker 1: going to answer that question. Because you can really force
12:45
Speaker 1: yourself to do one thing, or you might be someone
12:48
Speaker 1: that finds certain things easier than others. But if you
12:50
Speaker 1: don't understand what it means on a neurological level, you're
12:53
Speaker 1: always going to be stuck being like, oh, I find
12:55
Speaker 1: not drinking really hard, but I can actually go to
12:57
Speaker 1: the gym all the time and it's really easy going
13:00
Speaker 1: to tackle that? Okay, Now, self control? What affects it? Okay?
13:04
Speaker 1: It is You want to look at self control as
13:07
Speaker 1: a resource, and it is a diminishing resource. It is
13:11
Speaker 1: something that depletes the more you use it, the less
13:14
Speaker 1: you have. That's kind of how you want to look
13:16
Speaker 1: at it. The things that are going to diminish your
13:18
Speaker 1: self control or affect your levels of self control are stress.
13:21
Speaker 1: Number one. Number one is stress. Okay. Emotional regulation people
13:26
Speaker 1: who really struggle to regulate their emotions, and a big
13:29
Speaker 1: key to this is people that suppress their emotions. If
13:32
Speaker 1: you always suppress your emotions, that is a problem with
13:35
Speaker 1: emotional regulation because you feel you can't express them because
13:37
Speaker 1: you feel that you're not going to be able to
13:38
Speaker 1: control it. So therefore you do the opposite and you suppress, supress, suppress. Okay,
13:44
Speaker 1: too many decisions to make. You got too much on
13:46
Speaker 1: your plate, this constant decisions, decision. That's why I talk
13:48
Speaker 1: about the importance of habits because habits reduce the amount
13:51
Speaker 1: of decisions that you need to make, because once it's
13:53
Speaker 1: set in stone, you never have to make that decision again.
13:55
Speaker 1: Low focus, high distraction. That also affects your levels of
13:59
Speaker 1: self control and conflict in the mind. You want to
14:02
Speaker 1: look at self control as a conflict, Okay, it's a
14:06
Speaker 1: conflict between what you should be doing versus what you
14:10
Speaker 1: want to be doing. Okay, when the two align, When
14:13
Speaker 1: what you should be doing and what you want to
14:14
Speaker 1: be doing align, it doesn't require this control because it
14:19
Speaker 1: just happens by itself. Okay. So an example that I've
14:22
Speaker 1: got is if you love swimming, like you can't get
14:24
Speaker 1: enough of it, everything about it you love, You can't
14:26
Speaker 1: wait to get to the pool. You love it, and
14:28
Speaker 1: it's also what keeps you fit. Then you do not
14:31
Speaker 1: require this self control, so to speak, to be fit
14:36
Speaker 1: because you what you want to be doing and what
14:38
Speaker 1: you should be doing to achieve your goals aligns, so
14:41
Speaker 1: that doesn't require the self control we're talking about. What
14:44
Speaker 1: are the times where the two don't align. I really
14:47
Speaker 1: want to eat this entire bag of lollies, but that's
14:50
Speaker 1: not actually going to get me closer to feeling good
14:52
Speaker 1: and have high energy and to just being a bit
14:54
Speaker 1: healthier in my body. Right So the two are not aligning,
14:58
Speaker 1: and what's going to win right now is the self control.
15:01
Speaker 1: That's where the need for self control exists when there
15:04
Speaker 1: is conflict in the mind. So if we look at
15:07
Speaker 1: that as far as everything with self control. Am I
15:10
Speaker 1: going to get up at six am? Do I snooze?
15:11
Speaker 1: Do I not? Conflict? Do I have the wine? Do
15:14
Speaker 1: I not? Yes? No? Yes, no, I don't know conflict?
15:16
Speaker 1: Should I be picking up my phone all the time
15:18
Speaker 1: and I've whipped it out? Conflict in the mind, that's
15:20
Speaker 1: what you want to look at it. Everything to do
15:22
Speaker 1: with self control comes down to conflict, some level of conflict. Okay,
15:26
Speaker 1: when there is no conflict, you're just going to go
15:29
Speaker 1: and do that thing. Now, the brain regions that are involved,
15:33
Speaker 1: let's look at so first of we've got the prefrontal cortex.
15:35
Speaker 1: This is the part just behind your forehead, and it
15:39
Speaker 1: is the control center, the most modern part of the
15:43
Speaker 1: brain and the most modern kind of control center that
15:45
Speaker 1: keeps impulses and your emotions at bay. This part of
15:49
Speaker 1: the brain mediates and controls the most advanced cognitive abilities
15:53
Speaker 1: that we have. So this is forward planning, this is
15:56
Speaker 1: decision making, impulse control. That's a huge one. Concentrate inside
16:00
Speaker 1: abstract thought, the ability to stay on task. It also
16:07
Speaker 1: has the ability to block inappropriate thoughts and actions. So,
16:11
Speaker 1: for example, Touret syndrome is commonly and very closely related
16:15
Speaker 1: to dysfunctions in the prefrontal cortext There's more to Turet
16:19
Speaker 1: syndrome than that. That's a very very very simplified statement
16:23
Speaker 1: that I'm making. But one of the things that contributes
16:25
Speaker 1: to Turet syndrome where you have these outbursts, is you've
16:28
Speaker 1: got certain dysfunctions in this prefrontal cortex. This inability to
16:32
Speaker 1: inhibit this inappropriate thoughts or actions they just happen. You
16:36
Speaker 1: can't control it. Okay, but there you know, it does
16:40
Speaker 1: involve a much wider network within the brain that's responsible
16:42
Speaker 1: for Turet syndrome. Now, this prefrontal cortex makes up a
16:46
Speaker 1: third of the human cortex, and it is bigger proportionately
16:50
Speaker 1: in humans that it is in other primemates. So it's
16:52
Speaker 1: the part that takes the longest ter mature. Normally matures
16:55
Speaker 1: in early adulthood. Okay, so some people use like twenty
16:58
Speaker 1: six is the age, but rough around then it kind
17:01
Speaker 1: of varies from person to person. Another part of the
17:03
Speaker 1: brand that's involved is the limbic system. This is a
17:05
Speaker 1: group of structures that's associated with emotions. So parts of
17:08
Speaker 1: the limbic system that you've probably heard of are the
17:10
Speaker 1: amygdala where we talk about fear and all of that,
17:13
Speaker 1: also the singular gyrus and the hippocampus. Okay, so self
17:16
Speaker 1: control is a push pull between these two brand regions.
17:19
Speaker 1: You've got your heavy emotions, which we need, and then
17:21
Speaker 1: you've got your you know, higher functioning centers of logic,
17:24
Speaker 1: reasoning and emotion as well, and they have to communicate
17:28
Speaker 1: with each other. And people with addiction, especially chemical addictions
17:32
Speaker 1: that are extremely strong like heroin or meth there's a
17:35
Speaker 1: reduction in activity in the prefrontal cortex, and so you've
17:38
Speaker 1: got this high overriding that's happening from the limbic system. Okay,
17:42
Speaker 1: among many other things that occur when addicted to a drug,
17:45
Speaker 1: but this is one of the major players that play
17:48
Speaker 1: a role in addiction. Now, and you want to when
17:52
Speaker 1: you think about addiction like this, the long term reward
17:55
Speaker 1: of being drug free can't compete with the short term
17:59
Speaker 1: reward of having that drug when it comes to the
18:01
Speaker 1: brain regions that are involved. That's why it's so difficult
18:04
Speaker 1: to break out of an addiction for people that are
18:06
Speaker 1: already in the throes of addiction. Okay. Now, research shows
18:10
Speaker 1: that acute stress is also going to set off this
18:13
Speaker 1: chemical cascade that's going to weaken the power of your
18:16
Speaker 1: prefrontal cortex okay, and at the same time is strengthening
18:21
Speaker 1: older different networks within the brain, like the limbic system. Okay,
18:25
Speaker 1: So when anxiety kicks in your hypothalamus, you're amigdala. These
18:28
Speaker 1: areas of the limbic system take over the prefrontal cortex,
18:32
Speaker 1: and when this is happening, it's much harder to administer
18:34
Speaker 1: self control because if you think of limbic system as
18:37
Speaker 1: emotional the impulse the driver of these high emotions, versus
18:40
Speaker 1: prefrontal cortex which is inhibiting my impulses. If you're shutting
18:46
Speaker 1: off the ability to hibit inhibit your impulses when you're stressed,
18:49
Speaker 1: then it's going to be really hard to have self
18:51
Speaker 1: control when you're under a lot of emotional stress. Okay,
18:54
Speaker 1: not because you're forcing so hard at something, but it's
18:58
Speaker 1: almost like you go into this auto part pilot and
19:00
Speaker 1: you end up doing the thing that you said you
19:02
Speaker 1: wouldn't do. You just simply lose this control, this ability
19:06
Speaker 1: to oversee what you're doing and be like, no, I'm
19:08
Speaker 1: not going to do that. Yes I am going to
19:09
Speaker 1: do that. And it doesn't really feel like a battle
19:11
Speaker 1: in the moment. It doesn't feel like you're battling it
19:13
Speaker 1: out with yourself and you have to. It's almost like
19:16
Speaker 1: you're on autopilot and before you know it, you've grabbed
19:19
Speaker 1: your phone and you think, oh my god, I said
19:20
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to grab my phone, and I've grubbed
19:22
Speaker 1: it like twenty times in the last hour. But at
19:24
Speaker 1: the time of grabbing the phone, it didn't feel like
19:26
Speaker 1: a battle. It only feels like a battle in retrospect
19:29
Speaker 1: where you're like, oh my god, how did I just
19:30
Speaker 1: slip into doing that thing? I keep failing myself. Okay,
19:34
Speaker 1: why is this happen? Why is this happening? So when
19:37
Speaker 1: you're stressed, you're getting this surge of neurochemicals such as
19:41
Speaker 1: adrenaline and nera adrenaline, and then it's affecting obviously all
19:47
Speaker 1: these regions of the brain, and that push pull becomes
19:50
Speaker 1: more of like a push from one region of the
19:51
Speaker 1: brain instead of from the prefrontal cortex. Okay, other parts
19:55
Speaker 1: of the brain involved are your anterior singular cortex. So
19:58
Speaker 1: this monitor internal conflict. Okay, when we stop monitoring internal conflict,
20:06
Speaker 1: our capacity for self control kind of goes out the window.
20:09
Speaker 1: It's this ability to pay attention to this conflict that
20:12
Speaker 1: we have to know what's going on. If I know
20:15
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't grab my phone and I'm about to
20:17
Speaker 1: reach it, but I'm paying attention, I'm aware instead of reaching,
20:20
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I've just become away. It's actually not
20:22
Speaker 1: that hard to not grab it. The thing that makes
20:24
Speaker 1: it hard to not grab it is when I'm on
20:26
Speaker 1: autopilot and before I know what it's in my hand.
20:28
Speaker 1: It's the lack of monitoring of what I'm doing that
20:31
Speaker 1: makes it really difficult. When you can really switch on
20:33
Speaker 1: and keep this anterior singular cortex activated right and aware,
20:39
Speaker 1: and you do this through awareness, you are less likely
20:42
Speaker 1: to grab that thing, and it's easier for you to
20:44
Speaker 1: take action on the things that you think, Oh my god,
20:46
Speaker 1: I keep failing, why can't I do the same thing? Okay?
20:49
Speaker 1: And fun fact, I have spoken about this before in
20:52
Speaker 1: a brain fact, but the anterior mid singular cortex, which
20:56
Speaker 1: is part of the anterior singular cortex, it's the part
20:59
Speaker 1: of the brain that's involved in willpower, and it actually
21:03
Speaker 1: grows the more you do harder things, therefore making it
21:08
Speaker 1: easier to do harder things because more resources in the
21:10
Speaker 1: brain are going to this part of the brain. So
21:13
Speaker 1: what starts off is really difficult to get like, oh,
21:16
Speaker 1: I've got to make myself do that thing. I've got
21:17
Speaker 1: to make you do it again and again and again
21:19
Speaker 1: and again and again, and then you're growing that part
21:21
Speaker 1: of the brain for your ability to not procrastinate, do
21:23
Speaker 1: the thing in the moment, do that quote unquote hard thing.
21:26
Speaker 1: It's not hard hard, but that requires effort putting yourself
21:29
Speaker 1: in this uncomfortable situation, that discomfort that we speak about
21:32
Speaker 1: all the time. That part of the brain begins to grow.
21:35
Speaker 1: And it's not that people with the bigger part of
21:37
Speaker 1: the brain are able to do harder things. It is
21:40
Speaker 1: the more you do harder things, the bigger that brain
21:43
Speaker 1: region gets. And we've seen this in studies. Okay, so
21:45
Speaker 1: it's causal. Now, when you're stressed, you are externalizing. Okay,
21:52
Speaker 1: You're paying attention to problems that are outside of you.
21:55
Speaker 1: So not only are we getting the surge of neurochemicals,
21:57
Speaker 1: it's making it harder for the prefrontal cortex to intervene
22:00
Speaker 1: with the limbic system and be like who wah, whoa,
22:02
Speaker 1: let's pay attention. You're not using your mid singular cortex,
22:06
Speaker 1: your anterior mid singular cortex to you know, pay attention
22:09
Speaker 1: to what you're doing and do the hard thing. You're stressed,
22:11
Speaker 1: you're also focusing on problems outside of you. That's what
22:15
Speaker 1: ultimately stress is. It's issues, problems, issues, problems. I'm a
22:18
Speaker 1: little lot scattered, I'm being worn thin, I'm being stretched
22:22
Speaker 1: out right, we're not thinking about what's going on inside
22:26
Speaker 1: we're not present, we're not paying attention to you know,
22:28
Speaker 1: how we're really feeling. We might feel these anxious thoughts,
22:31
Speaker 1: but we're not like pausing and stopping and being like,
22:33
Speaker 1: I need to check in with myself, I need to
22:35
Speaker 1: slow down, I need to name it detainment, I need
22:37
Speaker 1: to do all these things. Okay, we're not paying attention
22:39
Speaker 1: to this conflict that's going on inside. We're we're just
22:42
Speaker 1: reactive to what's happening when we're highly stressed. Okay, And
22:46
Speaker 1: when we're stressed, it moves attention away from this conflict
22:51
Speaker 1: that's causing out this self control issue, right, and then
22:54
Speaker 1: we're no longer paying attention to this conflict. And then
22:57
Speaker 1: you start doing this shit on an autopilot. You start
22:59
Speaker 1: doing what you want to be doing instead of what
23:01
Speaker 1: you know you should be doing for your future self. Okay,
23:03
Speaker 1: if I'm stressed before I know, and I'm pouring myself
23:06
Speaker 1: that glass of wine and making up all the excuses
23:08
Speaker 1: under the sun as to why I deserve. But if
23:09
Speaker 1: I'm stressed, I've already grabbed my phone before I even
23:12
Speaker 1: knew it. I'm not waking up early, I'm not going
23:15
Speaker 1: to the gym. I'm not not not not all these things, okay,
23:19
Speaker 1: because it's really difficult for me to stay, you know,
23:22
Speaker 1: paying attention to what it is that that I actually
23:25
Speaker 1: need for myself. Okay, you kind of want to think
23:27
Speaker 1: about it. If you were to break down you, if
23:30
Speaker 1: you weren't stressed, if you were calm and regulated, we
23:32
Speaker 1: all know what that feels like, even if you don't
23:34
Speaker 1: feel it often, we all know what it does feel
23:36
Speaker 1: like in the moments that we are calm and regulated.
23:39
Speaker 1: If you were to break everything down moment by moment,
23:42
Speaker 1: none of the things that you want to be doing
23:45
Speaker 1: right now to improve your life would actually be that
23:48
Speaker 1: much of a challenge to you. They're all achievable. If
23:51
Speaker 1: I was to just take one minute at a time,
23:54
Speaker 1: can I get out of bed? Yes I can. It's okay,
23:56
Speaker 1: I've got a push pull. But it's the push pull
23:58
Speaker 1: that makes it hard. Right If I'm like, maybe I
24:00
Speaker 1: should snooze, Oh no, maybe I should get up. No no, no,
24:04
Speaker 1: I snooze because then because and you st stress this battle.
24:09
Speaker 1: If I'm focused, if I'm looking at it, Okay, I
24:12
Speaker 1: want to stay in bed, but I know I should
24:14
Speaker 1: be getting up. If I had a flight to catch
24:15
Speaker 1: there'd be no fucking battle going on. That internal conflict
24:18
Speaker 1: is resolved like that, I've got a fucking flight to catch.
24:20
Speaker 1: It's not negotiable. I'm getting up, and once I'm up
24:23
Speaker 1: about a minute in, if not less, I'm over it.
24:26
Speaker 1: Like I don't care. I'm good, I'm awake. It's that
24:29
Speaker 1: intense moment of this battle, back and forth, back and forth.
24:32
Speaker 1: Who's going to win? Okay, And if you're too stressed
24:35
Speaker 1: and too whatever, what you want to do always wins out.
24:38
Speaker 1: But if you're highly aware of that, then it's easier
24:41
Speaker 1: to Actually you've got to be superre being, like this
24:43
Speaker 1: is the battle. If I'm in my subconscious mind of thinking, oh, no,
24:47
Speaker 1: excuse this excuse that I'm so tired, I'm so stressed,
24:50
Speaker 1: of course I'm gonna end up doing what i want
24:52
Speaker 1: to be doing and not what I should be doing. Okay,
24:53
Speaker 1: But like I said, break it down a minute, my minute.
24:55
Speaker 1: Can you get out of it? Yes you can, You're
24:56
Speaker 1: already out of bed. Now, Now what am I going
24:58
Speaker 1: to do? I'm going to do step step, step by
25:00
Speaker 1: step by step. You actually can move through the motions
25:02
Speaker 1: of all of these things. It's the networks in your
25:05
Speaker 1: brain and the stresses and the external things that are
25:07
Speaker 1: actually cock blocking you. But it's got nothing to do
25:10
Speaker 1: with ability, because everything you want right now in your life,
25:13
Speaker 1: I would say ninety percent of that is already achievable.
25:16
Speaker 1: You already have the skill sets and probably the resources
25:19
Speaker 1: to do it. It's just you're being blocked by stress,
25:22
Speaker 1: by having too much on your plate, by networks that
25:25
Speaker 1: have been running in a certain way in your brain
25:26
Speaker 1: and you've got to learn to run them in a
25:28
Speaker 1: different way. So that's the beauty of it. We actually
25:30
Speaker 1: do have this out our thingatives, but how are we
25:32
Speaker 1: training our brain to turn it around and make it
25:35
Speaker 1: more accessible to us? Because I know that myself included,
25:39
Speaker 1: we're not just sitting here like dickheads being like, ah,
25:42
Speaker 1: I could be doing but I'm just not going to
25:43
Speaker 1: do it. There's things that get involved and get in
25:45
Speaker 1: the way and make it feel like we don't have
25:48
Speaker 1: self control sense. Okay, So let's look at techniques that
25:58
Speaker 1: you can actually implement to boost your levels of self control.
26:02
Speaker 1: This is gonna be really helpful. Okay. The huge one
26:05
Speaker 1: is emotions. Managing your emotions, regulating your emotions. The more
26:12
Speaker 1: emotions that you have to suppress, the harder it is
26:16
Speaker 1: to have self control. That is why this is a
26:19
Speaker 1: perfect example of something like look at binge eating as
26:22
Speaker 1: an example. People who binge eat and it's a full
26:25
Speaker 1: on disorder, right, it's a disorder off the brain. People
26:28
Speaker 1: that binge eat, they're not starving. This has to do
26:32
Speaker 1: with emotional regulation and suppressing of emotions. A lot of
26:35
Speaker 1: people that have binge eating disorder, it comes down to
26:38
Speaker 1: not everyone, but a lot of them trauma, these things
26:41
Speaker 1: that they had to suppress, things that horrible, things that
26:43
Speaker 1: happened to them that maybe they felt that they couldn't
26:45
Speaker 1: talk about, or they felt that they were shut down
26:47
Speaker 1: when they tried to and all these things, and then
26:49
Speaker 1: it manifests in these behaviors where there's total lack of
26:52
Speaker 1: self control. Okay, that's how the brain starts to deal,
26:55
Speaker 1: that's how your body deals. So if you're that's an
26:58
Speaker 1: extreme case where it's a full disorder, but that's an
27:01
Speaker 1: example of what's happening in the brain. So when you
27:04
Speaker 1: look at things where you're absolutely losing your self control,
27:08
Speaker 1: it has to do a portion of it has to
27:10
Speaker 1: do with being able to manage our emotions and not suppress.
27:14
Speaker 1: I think. When people hear something like control your emotions,
27:17
Speaker 1: manage your emotions, they think suppress. If you're thinking I
27:20
Speaker 1: want to murder my manager, I want to fucking murder
27:22
Speaker 1: I head fucking and you're suppresing, suppressing you get home,
27:25
Speaker 1: you never do. How do you actually regulate your emotions?
27:30
Speaker 1: There's many ways you can do it in many cases
27:34
Speaker 1: obviously therapy obviously, but there's other ways that you can
27:38
Speaker 1: do it before therapy. It's up to you what works
27:40
Speaker 1: for you. I would say, if therapy is accessible to
27:43
Speaker 1: you and it's something you're open to doing one hundred percent,
27:45
Speaker 1: go down the therapy route. It's brilliant because you're talking
27:48
Speaker 1: about your emotions. That's the big one to talk about
27:50
Speaker 1: your emotions, right, But before therapy, let's say you can't
27:53
Speaker 1: afford it, or let's say you're like, no, I think
27:55
Speaker 1: I can try and do this on my own first.
27:56
Speaker 1: There's many things that you can be doing. You can
27:59
Speaker 1: be talking about your emotions, but talking about it proactively,
28:04
Speaker 1: talking about it to someone that is a good ear
28:06
Speaker 1: to listen to you. So this is what I think
28:09
Speaker 1: venting can be helpful. There's a difference between venting and
28:12
Speaker 1: going round and round in spiraling in circles and getting
28:16
Speaker 1: into this negative spiral and only focusing on the bad things.
28:19
Speaker 1: Venting is where you allow yourself to get something off
28:22
Speaker 1: your chest. Let's say you had a bad day at work.
28:24
Speaker 1: You get home, your partner's like, how was your day
28:26
Speaker 1: at work? It's actually healthy for you to say, do
28:28
Speaker 1: you have a moment. I just had a really shit
28:31
Speaker 1: day and I just need someone to listen to me.
28:33
Speaker 1: They sit down and you just say, oh, this happened
28:35
Speaker 1: to me and I felt and you name your emotions.
28:37
Speaker 1: You don't just say, oh, my manager was a decade
28:40
Speaker 1: he was a cunt to me. No, you sit down
28:42
Speaker 1: and you say, we had this conversation and I felt
28:45
Speaker 1: so unlike underappreciated because they didn't hear me. And I
28:48
Speaker 1: tried to explain this and I couldn't get my words
28:50
Speaker 1: out and I was frustrated. So you're talking about how
28:52
Speaker 1: you were feeling and your partner, and you can say
28:55
Speaker 1: to your partner, I don't want this conversation to be
28:57
Speaker 1: solutions as I want to vent. I just need someone
29:00
Speaker 1: to hear me out prep them with that so that
29:02
Speaker 1: where your partner's not cutting off thing like maybe next time,
29:03
Speaker 1: maybe next time mad just be heard. That is a
29:06
Speaker 1: great form of therapy. Say you need to say get
29:09
Speaker 1: it off your chest a lot just that like speaking
29:12
Speaker 1: about it helps you process it. An example of this
29:15
Speaker 1: is my sister's a firefighter and when they go to
29:20
Speaker 1: a really intense thing, it could be like a fatality
29:24
Speaker 1: or something, they have the option to speak to a psychologist,
29:27
Speaker 1: and my sister says that when they get back, she
29:30
Speaker 1: talks about what happened. They kind of go over what
29:33
Speaker 1: happened with her crew, the three other firefighters, and she
29:36
Speaker 1: says that for her, that is a really really good
29:39
Speaker 1: form of therapy. Everyone's going to do with it differently,
29:42
Speaker 1: but she says, sitting down and talking to you know,
29:46
Speaker 1: her crew, is that what they call it a crew.
29:48
Speaker 1: She feels like, Okay, that's a really good way of
29:50
Speaker 1: processing what happened. And she has a really healthy way
29:53
Speaker 1: of processing all these really traumatic things that she sees
29:56
Speaker 1: very often on her in her job. Right, So this
29:59
Speaker 1: is an example of what can work for a lot
30:01
Speaker 1: of people, not saying it works for everyone. You've got
30:03
Speaker 1: to find what works for you. Okay, Now, another way
30:05
Speaker 1: that you can do it other than venting and having
30:07
Speaker 1: that chat or therapy is you can journal, you can
30:12
Speaker 1: write things down, you can do physical exertion. Sometimes when
30:16
Speaker 1: you've got really pent up anger, you can just like
30:18
Speaker 1: do something that's going to physically let it all out,
30:20
Speaker 1: whether it's like a hit session or go for a
30:22
Speaker 1: run or whatever. Have that moment of like I need
30:24
Speaker 1: to let this intense energy, I need to let it go,
30:27
Speaker 1: and how am I going to let it out? It
30:29
Speaker 1: could be like physically exerting it. That energy can go
30:31
Speaker 1: out of me physically. So you've got to find things
30:34
Speaker 1: that help you really regulate these emotions in a very
30:40
Speaker 1: healthy way. Emotions have to be expressed. So when someone
30:43
Speaker 1: says control your emotions, don't ever take that as hide
30:48
Speaker 1: them and suppress them and don't let them come out. Okay. Anger,
30:52
Speaker 1: when someone's really angry, that's a secondary emotion. That's someone
30:56
Speaker 1: who has tried to suppress an emotion and it's come
30:59
Speaker 1: out through anger. Okay. There's always something underlying before anger.
31:02
Speaker 1: And someone who really is in tune with their emotions
31:05
Speaker 1: and talks about it, whether through therapy or events, and
31:07
Speaker 1: he does all these things, they're less likely to have
31:10
Speaker 1: these anger abouts and like blowing up because they're dealing
31:14
Speaker 1: with the underlying emotion. Is it frustration? Is it abandonment?
31:18
Speaker 1: Is it being hurt? Is it, you know, being misunderstood?
31:22
Speaker 1: Is it? There's all these things that can underlie anger.
31:25
Speaker 1: And if you can deal with the emotions that you're
31:27
Speaker 1: feeling at the time, you then have better self control
31:31
Speaker 1: because you're aware. Again, awareness, emotional regulation. It comes down
31:35
Speaker 1: to knowing what's going on inside of you. And then
31:38
Speaker 1: because of that, you're getting your brain regions communicating beautifully.
31:41
Speaker 1: If I'm aware of my emotions and I'm learning to
31:43
Speaker 1: regulate them by feeling them, then my prefrontal cortex and
31:47
Speaker 1: my limbic system is having this lovely kind of communication. Okay.
31:51
Speaker 1: The next thing is to reinternalize your awareness. Okay, it's
31:56
Speaker 1: not about fixing all your problems, but it's about bringing
31:59
Speaker 1: the awareness to what is going on. If you can
32:02
Speaker 1: pay attention to what's going on, it actually makes it
32:05
Speaker 1: easier to deal with in the moment. Again, this whole
32:08
Speaker 1: idea of name it entertainment. It's healthy to be like,
32:11
Speaker 1: I'm feeling anxious about this thing. Why am I feeling anxious?
32:14
Speaker 1: I think because when I woke up and then you've
32:17
Speaker 1: named it. Okay, and then you when you name it,
32:19
Speaker 1: you can compartmentalize it, you can bring it down, and
32:22
Speaker 1: it's something that you can manage a bit better. If
32:25
Speaker 1: you're suppressing, if you're pushing away, people think, oh well,
32:27
Speaker 1: if you know, if I don't pay attention to it,
32:29
Speaker 1: it'll go away. If I only focus on this, it'll
32:31
Speaker 1: go away. You know, like attracts Like yes, but if
32:34
Speaker 1: you've got something growing in the background, that's always going
32:37
Speaker 1: to come back and manifest in something else. So you
32:39
Speaker 1: always have to give your emotions the time of day
32:42
Speaker 1: that they deserve, and then you're going to be a
32:44
Speaker 1: much more regulated individual. Then you are able to focus
32:47
Speaker 1: on the good things in your life. You are able
32:49
Speaker 1: to focus on like being optimistic and happy and all
32:51
Speaker 1: of that because you're regulated, you don't have this thing
32:53
Speaker 1: brewing underneath you. Okay. Now, like I said, importance of
32:58
Speaker 1: an emotional outlet, have your wind down route, have anything
33:01
Speaker 1: that's going to make you feel like you've got an
33:03
Speaker 1: emotional outlet. Okay, Now, Meditation is the next thing. Meditation
33:07
Speaker 1: is one of the best ways. There's a lot of
33:10
Speaker 1: evidence to back this. It is one of the best
33:11
Speaker 1: ways to improve your self control because for the most part,
33:15
Speaker 1: depending on what kind of meditation you do, but most
33:17
Speaker 1: meditations are around this self awareness. It's not necessarily about
33:23
Speaker 1: having no thought at all. It's just being so self
33:25
Speaker 1: aware that the thoughts don't last long because you're like,
33:28
Speaker 1: what's happening in my body. I can feel my breath.
33:31
Speaker 1: This thought came in. I've paid attention to the thought,
33:33
Speaker 1: so it hasn't grown that anxious thought. I've paid attention
33:36
Speaker 1: to it, but I've not fed into it. Oh you,
33:38
Speaker 1: I've thought that thing interesting. Now I've just remembered about it.
33:40
Speaker 1: It's like this noting. These noting meditations are very very
33:44
Speaker 1: very very very good at increasing your self control because
33:48
Speaker 1: you are hyper aware of your internal self. Everything that
33:53
Speaker 1: brings your awareness to yourself like that increases that is
33:57
Speaker 1: going to increase your self control. Like we were talking
33:59
Speaker 1: about conflict between what I want now and what I
34:02
Speaker 1: want later. If I'm aware of what that is, I'm
34:06
Speaker 1: able to do something about it. If I've pushed it
34:08
Speaker 1: to the side, it's gonna come back and bite me
34:10
Speaker 1: in the ass because I keep doing what I want
34:12
Speaker 1: in the moment, because I'm focusing on all these stresses
34:14
Speaker 1: that are really wearing me down. Okay, meditation is the
34:18
Speaker 1: perfect kind of antidote for that. You're getting better and
34:21
Speaker 1: better and better at paying attention to the self, how
34:24
Speaker 1: you're feeling in that moment, to your thoughts, to your breath,
34:27
Speaker 1: to what your skin is feeling. It makes you so
34:29
Speaker 1: good at having this self awareness, Okay, paying attention to
34:34
Speaker 1: your breath, the internal conflict, having awareness of your emotions
34:38
Speaker 1: and what these emotions mean, observing yourself so you don't
34:42
Speaker 1: feel out of control. So anyone should start meditator. Every
34:46
Speaker 1: single person should meditate. Do it for three minutes, do
34:48
Speaker 1: it for five I've got meditations on my app, heaps
34:51
Speaker 1: about noting heaps at that. If you want it for free,
34:53
Speaker 1: go on YouTube. There's so many free meditations on YouTube
34:56
Speaker 1: as well. So it's really really important to do things
35:00
Speaker 1: that can kind of calm you down and bring your
35:03
Speaker 1: awareness into the self. Meditation is one of the best things. Okay,
35:08
Speaker 1: So this awareness comes down to self control. That The
35:11
Speaker 1: next thing that I want to talk about is setting
35:13
Speaker 1: measurable goals so it's easy to track the progress. The
35:16
Speaker 1: goal has to be measurable, otherwise, again, you're not going
35:20
Speaker 1: to have something tangible and you're going to feel like
35:22
Speaker 1: you're not in control because you're not clear enough. Okay.
35:25
Speaker 1: So if you want to say I want to be
35:26
Speaker 1: on my phone less, that's not measurable. You could say
35:30
Speaker 1: after seven pm, I'm not getting on social media. That's
35:32
Speaker 1: very measurable. Okay. And then you can obviously put these
35:35
Speaker 1: things into practice, like emotional regulation, like meditating, like being
35:39
Speaker 1: aware of the internal conflict and naming it every time
35:42
Speaker 1: it comes up. But no, like be really measurable. When
35:45
Speaker 1: you say, oh, I want to be fitter, that's not measurable.
35:48
Speaker 1: You could say I want to swim one killermeter three
35:51
Speaker 1: times a week, and those times are going to be Monday, Wednesday,
35:53
Speaker 1: Friday in the mornings. That's measurable. And you've said a time.
35:57
Speaker 1: It's not this arbitrary, oh three times whenever I can
35:59
Speaker 1: slot it? No, no, no, So plan ahead, right and if okay,
36:02
Speaker 1: if something comes up and you can't do it, it
36:03
Speaker 1: is what it is. Maybe you can shift it and
36:05
Speaker 1: maybe it just doesn't happen that week. But it's a
36:07
Speaker 1: lot more achievable if these goals are trackable. Okay, don't
36:12
Speaker 1: make arbitrary statements when you're setting goals about bettering yourself,
36:16
Speaker 1: and especially goals that you're already able to do, like
36:18
Speaker 1: waking up in the morning at a certain time, or
36:20
Speaker 1: not being on your phone that much or whatever. You
36:22
Speaker 1: have to be able to measure it for it to
36:25
Speaker 1: be like a proper structured goal. Now, you want to
36:30
Speaker 1: think about self control as a skill that is improved
36:33
Speaker 1: with time by putting all these tools into practice. Okay,
36:36
Speaker 1: when you hesitate, when you have scattered focus, when you're
36:40
Speaker 1: avoiding your emotions, when you're spending too much of your
36:42
Speaker 1: energy suppressing your emotions or focusing on outside stresses, like
36:47
Speaker 1: anything that's stressing you out, not learning to express your emotions,
36:51
Speaker 1: not learning to pay attention to like naming the stressor
36:54
Speaker 1: so you can compartmentalize it in one thing. Then you're
36:57
Speaker 1: never going to have this healthy outlet, and you're going
37:00
Speaker 1: to continue to absorb all this stress while never actually
37:05
Speaker 1: paying attention to what's going on inside. So it feels like, oh,
37:07
Speaker 1: but you know, I am paying attention to all this
37:09
Speaker 1: stresses and there's not a lot of it, But you're
37:11
Speaker 1: bringing all your awareness into this external noise and you're
37:14
Speaker 1: not really paying attention to yourself. As you start to
37:17
Speaker 1: train this part of the brain, we're doing meditation. We've
37:20
Speaker 1: got a healthy outlet for our emotions. We're naming entertainment.
37:22
Speaker 1: We're either doing therapy or we're eventing, or we're having
37:25
Speaker 1: this wind down for our emotions. We're doing that where
37:29
Speaker 1: journaling if we want to be journaling, we're doing measurable
37:33
Speaker 1: goals that we can pay attention to that mid seeing
37:35
Speaker 1: cortex that I was talking about, where you are doing
37:39
Speaker 1: these things, these uncomfortable, harder things repeatedly and it makes
37:43
Speaker 1: it easier and easier. They're paying attention to this conflict.
37:46
Speaker 1: As you start doing these things, you're going to be like,
37:49
Speaker 1: it's actually so much easier to just do the thing.
37:53
Speaker 1: And it sounds really simplistic to say just to do
37:57
Speaker 1: the thing, but it really is just that. It sounds crazy,
38:01
Speaker 1: but it is. If I pay attention. I'm in bed
38:03
Speaker 1: and I'm really focused being like I'm getting up because
38:07
Speaker 1: I've booked a class and I have to be up
38:09
Speaker 1: at this time. I'm up. The only problem is when
38:12
Speaker 1: there's too many factors in the end, there's too much
38:13
Speaker 1: like oh ha haha, Like freedom is good to an extent,
38:17
Speaker 1: but if I could get up at any time because
38:19
Speaker 1: there's nothing really going on, and there's nothing that's really
38:21
Speaker 1: holding me accountable to myself. I'm not doing this, then
38:24
Speaker 1: before I know what, I could be in bed. Well, okay,
38:26
Speaker 1: my twins are waken me up, but I could be
38:28
Speaker 1: in bed until they're the ones waking me up, or
38:29
Speaker 1: until XYZ or whatever. It's this awareness. If I'm aware,
38:34
Speaker 1: if I've got these things in practice, if I've set
38:36
Speaker 1: myself up and this conflict is front of mind and
38:40
Speaker 1: I'm paying attention, then it is so much easier to
38:42
Speaker 1: just do it. When you are distracted, it's a lot
38:46
Speaker 1: harder to do the thing, and you don't even realize
38:49
Speaker 1: how hard it is until the day has ended, and
38:51
Speaker 1: then you look back being like, oh, I could have
38:53
Speaker 1: done that. I should have done that. It's you don't
38:55
Speaker 1: want to spend the next few years, five years, decade
38:58
Speaker 1: saying to yourself, oh God, that I should have done that.
39:01
Speaker 1: You could be putting these things into practice today, measurable
39:05
Speaker 1: things that you can put into practice today, and your
39:09
Speaker 1: self control is going to start to improve. Those brain
39:12
Speaker 1: regions that we spoke about, when they communicate, you find
39:15
Speaker 1: it easier to control yourself. It's not this magical thing
39:20
Speaker 1: of like I'm just going to say I'm going to
39:21
Speaker 1: have more solf and then it's going to happen. No, no, no,
39:23
Speaker 1: These regions in your brain when they talk to each other,
39:25
Speaker 1: When you have a healthy push pull, you do it.
39:29
Speaker 1: It's actually easier to do the thing, okay, when you
39:33
Speaker 1: are leaning into addictive behaviors, not just chemical but behavioral
39:37
Speaker 1: addictions as well. When you're putting too much of your
39:39
Speaker 1: time and energy in that, when you're suppressing your emotions,
39:41
Speaker 1: when you're running an autopilot, when you've got all these
39:43
Speaker 1: external stresses and you're not paying attention. That is when
39:47
Speaker 1: your life goes out of control. And then you spend
39:49
Speaker 1: all your life trying to control everything else around you,
39:51
Speaker 1: which you can't because ultimately you cannot control the people
39:54
Speaker 1: around you, and you spend no time trying to control
39:56
Speaker 1: your inner self control off your life. Having autonomy in
40:02
Speaker 1: your life comes down to how much you can control
40:04
Speaker 1: your self, okay, And it all comes down to this
40:08
Speaker 1: self awareness of your emotions, what's going on in the brain,
40:11
Speaker 1: and this conflict that in the now that has to
40:15
Speaker 1: do with can I have self control or can I
40:16
Speaker 1: not in this moment? And when you break it down
40:19
Speaker 1: moment by moment, paying attention to these tiny little conflicts
40:23
Speaker 1: throughout the day. You were able to combat those conflicts
40:26
Speaker 1: in a heartbeat, without even a question. It's when your
40:28
Speaker 1: awareness becomes scattered, when you're distracted, when you've got low focused,
40:31
Speaker 1: when you're doing addictive behaviors, all of that that it
40:33
Speaker 1: feels like you don't have self control. So listen to
40:37
Speaker 1: this podcast as many times as you need to really
40:39
Speaker 1: consolidate this information into your mind. But it is something
40:43
Speaker 1: as achievable as what I just laid out in this podcast.
40:47
Speaker 1: Will it take time? Yes, Yes, you've got to repeat it.
40:50
Speaker 1: You've got to do it repeated, repeated, repeated. You're going
40:52
Speaker 1: to get better and better and better at this and
40:54
Speaker 1: what once was a drag, You're going to feel like
40:57
Speaker 1: you've got your life so much more in order. You've
40:59
Speaker 1: got struck, you've got some routines in there. You feel
41:02
Speaker 1: so much more level headed and at peace and regulated.
41:06
Speaker 1: Because you pay attention to your emotions, all these things
41:08
Speaker 1: will start to fall into place. So I really, really,
41:12
Speaker 1: really hope that this episode was of value to you.
41:15
Speaker 1: Please comment in the comment section below. I would love
41:17
Speaker 1: to hear what you're going to put into practice. What
41:20
Speaker 1: does work for you what you've struggled with in the
41:23
Speaker 1: past when it comes to self control, and it's something
41:26
Speaker 1: that we could chat about. I do really love reading
41:28
Speaker 1: through all the comments on Spotify and YouTube, so please
41:32
Speaker 1: keep them coming. If you thought that anyone could benefit
41:35
Speaker 1: from this episode, please share it with your friends, your family,
41:39
Speaker 1: with anyone who wants to listen, and of course rate
41:42
Speaker 1: and review. But thank you so much for tuning into
41:44
Speaker 1: today's episode. I really enjoyed putting it together. I'm going
41:46
Speaker 1: to do more of these neuroscience off Dot dot Dot
41:49
Speaker 1: episodes heaps more in the coming year, so I'm really
41:52
Speaker 1: excited about that. Anyway, that is all, thank you so
41:55
Speaker 1: much for tuning in. Love you guys so much, Love
41:58
Speaker 1: my dunes. As always, remember because find to yourself, you
42:00
Speaker 1: can't do your brain. Don't text it from anyone, and
42:03
Speaker 1: especially don't text it from yourself. Dunker