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Transcript

Your School is Underfunding Your Kid's IEP — How to Win the Fight · The Parent Tap

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Your child's IEP meeting is a corporate negotiation where the other side holds all the cards.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Unless you know the one move most parents miss.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Emily Levy, founder of EBL coaching, has sat on both sides of that table.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: If you want to stop the academic slide and build a system that actually works for your kid, here is the playbook.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: I have a neurodivergent child.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: She is about to be five.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so we're going through the stages right now, trying to figure out like what intervention, how do we support her basically going through going through pre-kindergarten through all the way up through high school?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just trying to figure out all the stuff we have to do.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: So this is great to have you on.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so for parents navigating the public or private school system, just like I will be doing, securing an IEP, an individualized education program can feel like a hostile corporate negotiation.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I've been on the other side of this as a school teacher.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'll be on the other side of the room as a parent this coming fall.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I've heard a lot about the good and bad things about this.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: So the school has its budget limits, right?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: The parents just want their child protected.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: From your advocacy frameworks, how does an executive parent approach an IEP meeting strategically?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: And what is the single biggest leverage point parents leave on the table during these district uh consultations?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I personally believe that a parent should always be their child's best advocate.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And a parent knows their child best.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: A parent may not understand every element of an evaluation or the nuances of an IEP, but I think most importantly is really establishing a positive relationship with teachers and other therapists and providers who are going to be working with your child.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times these meetings can get very hostile and very angry.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, in my opinion, that creates a disservice to the child.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You want to really work as a team, you want to be collaborative, you want to be kind, and you want to really put your heads together to figure out the best tools and strategies for your child.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: So you mentioned it could be hostile and what can you go a little bit deeper into that?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: Why, why does it get heated?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Why does it get hostile?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think of course it varies and there's a spectrum, but I think a lot of parents just feel very strongly about what they want for their child.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes maybe the school doesn't have that, isn't able to provide that, and they get very demanding.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I just find oftentimes that could backfire if there's a lot of hostility, a lot of negativity, at the end of the day, it's only gonna really hurt the child.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, totally.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let's talk time economy.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the parents listening to this show do not have much time if they're like me.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Usually you have 15, 20, maybe 30 minutes at the kitchen table micromanaging homework or running flashcards.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not quite to that stage yet, but I have a one-year-old and almost five-year-old.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: So we're busy enough.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I mean, so if a busy household wants to optimize their child's foundational reading and math skills, what are the high-leverage, data-proven academic habits that actually move the needle versus the generic uh busy work that just drains the family time?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I believe the ultimate goal really is for the child to eventually be independent in completing their homework.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, when they're younger, that's not always realistic.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: But the more we can empower children to work on their own, the better.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: So when kids are little, they might not necessarily understand what they need to do initially.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So a parent might say, okay, I'm gonna show you what you need to do, then I want you to work on it on your own for 10 minutes, and then I'm gonna come back and check it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if they get something wrong, you go over it.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: But really encouraging them to work on skills on their own, to not always have a parent next to them looking over their shoulder, making sure they're doing it right.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, that prevents them from becoming independent.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So really encouraging that independence and doing whatever you can to facilitate that is ideal.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then do you well, like what's your what's your philosophy on homework in general?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: I know this is kind of a hot topic.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: Do you feel like students are being overloaded with homework?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe this is age appropriate or age-based question.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when when do you feel like homework is important to implement, incorporate into the household?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: But then, like, are we also overloading our our children or kids with too much to do?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that it's like parents are having an even harder time to keep up with all their activities, getting dinner on the table and all the stuff that parents have to do on their own.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it is a hot topic right now.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I do feel that there is a lot of value in homework as long as it's the right type of homework with purpose.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think that homework really allows students to demonstrate that they understood what occurred in class, what they learned in class, and that they can apply it on their own.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: However, there are some situations where children are just overloaded with homework, and a lot of it is either just busy work for the sake of giving homework, or they're forced to teach themselves concepts that were not taught in class.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's the kind of homework that I think should not be given.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think there should be a lot of thought put into the type of homework, the amount of homework, and the idea is to empower kids to build their confidence and not to have them feel uh frustrated or lose motivation if they can't do it on their own.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, as a former teacher, again, like the busy work drove me nuts because some teachers would just it'd be like this grade level thing where one teacher did it, so like everyone feels like they have to do it.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: And honestly, I got a lot because I graded homework on the weekend as a teacher because there's just no time during the week usually.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times I could tell like parent did this, or parent definitely helped with this because they're this is not the the level of work I'm getting during the during the day, but I mean with this student.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: So it was like kind of just pointless to to even hand out when the parent's kind of handling most of the work and itself, even from like like the university level, like I'm like I'm in right now.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm going to give you a common parent reaction and you give me the 10 second course correction.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: So a kid brings home a failing test score.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: What is the very first sentence out of the parent's mouth?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: That it should be it's okay, but let's look at what may have gone wrong and what we can do better next time.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: And are you like a big believer in like kind of the inputs versus outputs?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, like as long as they're putting in the work, the output's not super important, or is it is there's a certain way that you look at that kind of thing?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because I I know a lot of us judge like like it's common.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: I did a lot of parent-teacher conferences and like the parents are either happy because the student got an A or they're not happy because they got a C or whatever, right?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: And and so it's very like cut and dry.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: But is there more and is there more to that?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't think that every child is capable of getting straight A's in all honors classes.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think that there is a level of intellectual capability that some kids have, some kids don't.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: If they're working to their capacity, they're putting in time and effort and studying really hard, and they don't get an A on the test, that's okay.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, it's really not the end of the world.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna find some path, hopefully, some career that will meet who they are.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes it's hard for parents to grasp that, if especially they're high-achieving parents.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I do think it's important to look at each child and their own individual capabilities.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: So the school teacher says your child just needs to focus more.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: What is the exact pushback question the parent asks?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, do you think that it's just a focusing difficulty because there are distractions in the classroom, or could perhaps something deeper be going on, like an ADHD?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And should my child maybe get evaluated for the real work.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: Or get tears your playbook from Emily.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, where are you offing their one thing?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Because I know again relationships.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: Going back to my days as a teacher, class sizes.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, build homework.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: Perhaps over 30 kids to one teacher.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's very hard to do individualized attention or learning.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: So if there is a lot of people, I know first-hand experiences very hard to because usually teachers are focused more on the behavioral side.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's the parents have weaponized like causing issues, like you kind of are handling that more than the academic.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, like that's kind of how I felt my my experience as being a teacher.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: So unfortunately, I think that kids, when they do have those deficits, they do need additional supports.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so this is kind of where you come in with with your services.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Parent, you're drowning in information.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: My job is to distill that down into operational systems you can deploy immediately.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: If you want the weekly blueprint to manage the chaos at home, tap subscribe, head over to parent tap.io, and sign up for the newsletter.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's where the real work happens.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Here's your playbook from Emma.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: High performing parent wants to introduce remote learning tools to supplement school.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: What is the one number one trap I need to avoid?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that the number one trap is over reliance on digital tools.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want it to replace teaching, to replace learning.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think there are a lot of great digital tools out there that can supplement learning, but should not take the place of it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: And is there, I've gotten a lot into screen times on this show.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: Is there like a recommendation or limit?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: I know some stuff's coming out even from this current administration on like too much screen time is bad.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I saw something like that in the news.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: But is there something from your perspective or your from your practice, uh, your expertise like that counteracts that or you like are you saying, like, is screen time bad, like overall, or is screen time effective like with certain use?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think when it's used right in the right amount of it, it's actually very effective.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think there are, again, a lot of great tools that could supplement reading, writing, math, study skills.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's really a lot of great tools and apps out there.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think though, if a parent, it's very child-specific.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think that if a parent is noticing that their child is constantly distracted, their grades are falling, they're not themselves, and they're on a screen a lot, that's probably a sign that they're on the screen too much.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I think really knowing your child, some kids can manage being on the screen a lot and using it effectively and still doing really well socially, emotionally, academically, and others can't.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's really a matter of gauging your child and trying to understand what's best for them.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I agree.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: There's not like a one size fits all approach.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, totally.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: And then um, can you tell us more about your services and how parents can get connected with you and obviously where we can find you on the internet.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because I I want our viewers here to unlock your complete suite of academic success strategies, developmental resources, and expert coaching tools and and really be able to take advantage of all you have to offer.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Great.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm the founder and director of EBL Coaching, which is a one-on-one tutoring program for neurodiverse students.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: We are based in New York and New Jersey.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have two locations, and then we also do virtual tutoring worldwide, actually, at this point.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And our specialty is using all the right research-based multi-sensory techniques for students who have special education needs.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we use a lot of hands-on multi-sensory tools.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's all individualized to the needs of each student, right?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in terms of where to find us, the best place is our website, which is eblcoaching.com.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's lots of parenting articles that I've written, strategies for parents to use with their kids, different podcasts that I've been on.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: So lots of just information for parents.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, more information about the one-on-one tutoring that we provide in all skill areas.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also have channels on pretty much every social media outlet, Facebook, Insta, TikTok, YouTube, and also LinkedIn.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's where the real work happened.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Here's your playbook from Emily.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: First, IEP meetings are won through collaborative relationships, not aggressive demands.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Second, build homework independence and 10 minute blocks.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Show, step back, check in.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Finally, screen time isn't a number, it's a behavior gauge.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: If your kids' grades are dropping and their personality is off, pull the plug immediately.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: You can find Emily at ebcoaching.com for the show notes and the full operational blueprint from this episode.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Head to parent tap.io.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Defend the kids, run the house.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see you on the next one.