Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Starless?

Transcript

Hour 3 - Starless? · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: That's baseball, Susan. Boom, shakalaka. It's our number three. We
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: got you covered. The World Series begins tonight in Wisconsin.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: And we looked at the matchup, and there's one name
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: that popped up. Does Jacob Mizoroski have more pressure on
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: his shoulders than any other player in this Brewers-Rays World
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Series matchup? We'll discuss that as he is the biggest name,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: biggest star in this thing. Do you believe the Dodgers
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: will listen to columnist Bill Plaschke and consider trading away
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Shohei Otani? Oy vey. We'll talk about that. And how
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: much stock do we give Scott Boris advertising the super agent,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: really advertising and advising Major League Baseball teams to spend
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: on free agents before the shutdown begins in early December.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: His words will be parsed right about now. We also
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: have big men's lame jokes of the week. Our friend
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Weed Man Hippie absolutely destroying a copy, a promo that
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: we were reading. You'll hear that. Likely the funniest joke
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: of the lame jokes. But that's coming your way right now.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Here it is, hour number three. Have a wonderful Friday. Well,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: they say it's a starless World Series. That's not technically true.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: It begins later on. There's one angle, which is the
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: most compelling angle to this particular event. What is it?
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: You're about to find out. Welcome in the beginning of
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: another hour of the Ben Maller Show. We are in
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: the air everywhere, right alongside, as we keep our hands clean,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: And our mouth-dirty, coast-to-coast, border-to-border, and beyond, on the vast
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: and ginormously powerful microphones of FSR emanating live from a vine,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: the grapevine, guaranteed human, on the world-famous Fox Sports Radio
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: studios where Judge Reed, our buddy from New Mexico and
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Albuquerque Bob, we're big in... Big in New Mexico. They say, hey, Mallard,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: where can I check out that World Series thing? Well,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Fox 1, there's no time like October. And this is
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: what it's all been for. The World Series is here.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Streaming live on Fox 1. It begins tonight. The Brewers
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: versus the Rays on baseball's biggest stage. You stream it
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: live on Fox 1. Check that out. Now, Lawn God
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Larry and Outback John and Joanna from the San... gabriel
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: valley they said hey i need to know more about
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: express i said sure i'll tell you about that no
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: problem no problem can i get a blooming onion hey
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: workforce challenges slowing down your business the express employment professionals
• 3:06
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• 3:10
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• 3:14
  Speaker 1: than 850 locations express is ready to help Visit ExpressPros.com today.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: That's ExpressPros.com. So our lead story this hour from the
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: fall classic. It is on like Donkey Kong tonight. Now,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I have taken some pot shots at the World Series.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Am I going to be watching? Absolutely. Absolutely. I'll be watching.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I like baseball. I don't have to watch Game 1
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: of the World Series. I don't have a show to
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: do after the game. I just do a podcast on
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: the weekends. We don't normally talk sports on the podcast,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: so I don't have to conceivably watch the game. But
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going to watch it. I want to see what
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: happens there. Check it out. Do I care about any
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: of these teams? Hell no! But I'll watch anyway. So
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Brewers ace Jacob Mizorowski starts Game 1 of the Fall
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Classic against Tampa Bay's Nick Martinez. Now, if you look
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: at this on a tablet, it is an epic mismatch.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Martinez enjoyed a big year this year for Tampa Bay.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: He's a 36-year-old journeyman pitcher. He's been here, there, and everywhere.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: The star attraction, and after crunching the numbers, the only star,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: pound for pound, is the Miz. That's it. That's all.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: So ahead of the Fall Classic, Jacob Mizorowski compared himself.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: He was asked a softball question at the media availability
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: the other day. And he compared himself to Charizard, the
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: fire-breathing Pokemon. I don't know if you saw this or not,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: perhaps not. The 6'7 Miz did average over 100 miles
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: per hour on his fastball here this past season. Led
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: baseball with 252 strikeouts. And so he is the star attraction.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: The Miz... is in the center square in the World
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Series matchup. And so that is a good jumping-off point.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Let us discuss the question. Does Jacob Mizorowski have more
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: pressure on his shoulders than any other player in this
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Brewers-Rays World Series? So I've got the bearded lady, certified tree-huggers,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: and the ShamWow guy. And we will combine all of
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: these things together, every single one of these things, and
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: we are going to have the finishing touch is what
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: we're going to have. So to lead off, I'm nodding
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: my head. Yes, after a minutes-long review... If you want
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: the big boy spotlight in that business, it doesn't get
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: any bigger than this. You cannot complain when the spotlight
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: becomes a interrogation map. And this is a starless World Series.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: The Miz is the headliner. He's the breakout star. He's
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: the guy, the real deal and all that. Listen, you
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: look around, Tampa Bay's got some guys that have some
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: skill and all that. They're not stars. They're not close
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: to being stars. The Miz is on that path to stardom.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And welcome to the hardball circus. So you've got Jacob Mizoroski,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: who's the main attraction. He's above the marquee. And he's
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: right there. You've got the bearded lady, the sword swallower,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: and the human cannonball. All those things all rolled into
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: one 6'7 pitching machine. In the Miz. So he's either
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: becoming a household name for casual. Now, every time I
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: mention something like this before a big series. I inevitably
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: get someone that doesn't listen, the I don't listen guy.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And the I don't listen guy will inevitably email me
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: and say, you know, Mellor, you know, he's already a
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: household name to me. People know who he is. And
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, OK, yeah, the hard old baseball people know
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: who he is. The World Series is supposed to be
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: in theory. It's on Fox, right? It's supposed to be.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: You're going across the Rubicon into people that aren't hardcore
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: baseball fans. I don't know how many non-hardcore baseball fans
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: are going to watch the World Series. I hope it
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: does well because there won't be baseball for a while
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: because of the work stoppage and the billionaires and the
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: millionaires fighting with each other. I'm pulling for it to
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: do well. Do I think it's going to do well? No,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: I don't. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong. So, again,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: this is the opportunity for The Miz to become a
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: household name for casual baseball fans. Or the opposite in
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: the multiverse is this becomes a cautionary tale. And he
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: goes out there and rides the Vomit Comet. And there
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: really is no middle ground. He's the guy walking the
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: tightrope over Niagara Falls. And one bad slider and one
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: guy going ding dong, Junior Cabanero taking seven minutes to
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: round the bases. And all of a sudden, the Miz
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: is going swimming in Niagara Falls. Now, they say legends
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: are born in October. That used to be the slogan
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: of baseball. Legends are born in October. They also die here.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: You get cooties. Ask Clayton Kershaw. Clayton Kershaw died. You
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: wouldn't want anyone else on the mound in a game
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: on a Wednesday afternoon against the Rockies, Giants, Diamondbacks, or
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Padres than Clayton Kershaw. You would want anyone else on
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: the mound when Kershaw was pitching in October, the greatest
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: choke artist of modern baseball, the worst postseason pitcher of
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: all time. And he was exposed as a fraud in October,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Clayton Kershaw. He was. And so he had the opportunity.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: He didn't take advantage of it. A pitcher is not
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: a legend because they're a good regular season pitcher, and
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: television people tell us that guy's a legend. You've got
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: to walk the walk. You've got to walk the walk.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: And if the Miz goes out and dominates, he becomes
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Paul Bunyan. He becomes Paul effing Bunyan with an axe.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: If he goes out there and gets shelled, thunderstruck, he
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: becomes Paul Bart Mall Cop. It's either Paul Bunyan or
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Paul Bart Mall Cop. That's it. Now, there is no
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: time like October, and this is what it's all been for.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: The World Series is here. We're talking about it right now.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: It's streaming live on Fox One, Brewers versus Rays, and
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: there's really nothing left. to save it for, right? There's
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: nothing left. What are you saving stuff for? This is
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: the biggest stage in baseball, the moment every team plays
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: all season long for, every pitch, every swing, every walk-off.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: This is the history happening live, and you don't want
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: to catch it after the fact. Catch the Brewers versus
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: the Rays live on Fox 1. There's no time like October,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: and there's no bigger stage than the World Series, and
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: it is streaming live on Fox 1, so check that out. Meanwhile,
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: a number of my Dodger homies have reached out to me,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: and they wanted me to rant and rave about something
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: that Bill Plasky said. And I thought about it. I
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: was like, well, Bill Plasky never writes a column about
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: what we say. Why should I talk about what he says?
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: But this thing has had legs. If you know what
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about, perhaps not. Bill Plaschke, who was on
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: that cheesy ESPN show, I forget what it's called, and
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: it got canceled because they had too many woke people
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: on there. Longtime LA Times columnist Bill Plaschke, and he
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: argued this week, Plaschke, that the D-O-D-G-E-R-S Dodgers should seriously
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: consider trading Shohei Otani. Plaschke's argument is if he refuses
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: to stop pitching, the Dodgers should trade him. He claims
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: that the past season... was proof that Otani can no
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: longer handle full-time hitting and pitching. And so he said, listen,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: he wants the Dodgers to permanently remove Otani from the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: mound and prioritize his offense. And Otani, the Dodgers say
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: he's going to pitch again next year. So this Bill
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Plasky calling Otani and the two-way ambitions a, quote, detrimental charade,
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: close quote, and said a blockbuster trade must remain an
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: option if Otani refuses to cooperate. So, because of you
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: requesting this, I will embrace this particular situation. The question,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: do you believe that the Los Angeles Dodgers are going
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: to listen to Bill Plaschke and consider trading away Shohei Otani?
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe that. They're going to give Plaschke a
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: corner office at Dodger Stadium and all the Dodger dogs
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: he wants. They're going to put his name on the door.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: They're going to let Bill Plaschke run baseball ops between
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: newspaper deadlines. You've got to be joking. Come on. I've
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: known Bill for decades, and he's a very nice man,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: a casual friend, one of those people you run into, hey,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: how you doing, Bill? Oh, I'm doing good. Okay, great.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: How you doing, Ben? I'm doing okay. Solid. Thank you. Okay.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And you move on. But the Dodgers, they're not, obviously, elicitous.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And by the way, let me point out, and I'm
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: very proud of this, because when I started in the
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: media business back in the day, the king of kings
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: was the L.A. Times. My God, was that a monster.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: It was a monster. And after all these years, our
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: little rinky-dink overnight show has more influence than the L.A.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Times has. It blows my mind every time I think
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: about that. I am blown away by that. And I
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: realize it's more because the L.A. Times sucks, not anything
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: we're doing. But our little rinky dink overnight show at
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: three or four in the morning has a bigger audience.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: We have more people listening than the L.A. Times has
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: subscribers to their print circulations. how the mighty have fallen. Anyway, listen,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: the Dodgers trading Otani would be like Starbucks announcing, you know,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: we're going to get out of the coffee business. We're
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: done with coffee. Good luck. Right now. We checked with
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: the certified tree huggers. We contacted several certified tree huggers
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: and they tell us that Otani is not an Oak tree,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: not a maple tree, not a great Sequoia. He's a
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: money tree, money, money, money, every branch, every branch of,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Hundred dollar bills across as far as you can see. Now,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: that said, in truth, it's a it's a pretty good column.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: The whole job of a columnist, much like a talk
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: show host, is to be a rabble rouser and to
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: stir the poo. And it's the sort it's a sort
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: of argument designed to provoke outrage, generate attention, make people
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: realize the LA Times hasn't gone out of business yet.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: and make people ask whether the columnist has completely lost
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: the plot and all that. The Dodgers have a better
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: chance of moving back to Brooklyn than they do of
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: trading Shohei Otani. So, good luck. Hell, they'll move to
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Tokyo before they move Otani. That's the gig, and that's
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: the way it is. Otani could go out there and
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: bat 135, and they'd say, well, he's a good decoy.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: It's a good decoy. All right, last thing. To the
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: business of baseball, Super Agent Scott Boris is urging professional
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: baseball teams to do what? Do you see this? No?
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: All right. Scott Boris urging the teams of professional baseball
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: to sign free agents now before the lockout begins and
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: the new collective bargaining agreement is eventually signed. Boris argues
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: that teams currently enjoy greater financial freedom than they might
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: under the future labor rules. He said, quote, for many teams.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: This is a quote from Scott Boris. For many teams,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I can make an argument. It's clearly best for them
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: to sign players currently. boris said his message spend now
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: secure that talent that you want and adjust to the
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: new restrictions later all right question how much stock do
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: we give scott boris advising major league baseball teams to
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: spend before a lockout so i went i looked at
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: the stock thing on my phone because i have a
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: little stock option thing i Every once in a while,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I'll get a little gambling thing, and I'll be like,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: all right, let me gamble on the stock market, and
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I'll play around with that. And it generally does not
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: go well. Generally does not go well. Anyway, so I looked,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: and zero is the answer. Asking Scott Morris whether... teams
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: should sign players in baseball is like asking a real
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: estate agent whether it's a good time to buy a house.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: The answer is always yes. The answer is always yes.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Scott Boras is selling urgency. That is the oldest sales
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: tactic in America, if not the world. Limited inventory. Act now.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Operators are standing by. Years ago, I read a pretty
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: good book about infomercials. I was fascinated when I was
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: a kid about infomercials. They're not really much around anymore.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: These Late night TV commercials, they'd sell you car polish
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: or a workout machine you don't need and all that.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: And I read about how they work the room and
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: the tricks that they use and all that. But the
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: oldest sales tech, they have a clock on there. They'd
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: have a clock on the screen. And a lot of
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: people are hardwired to feel like they don't want to
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: miss out on something, even though you're not missing out
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: on anything. And they see that rundown clock getting close
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: to zero and they're like, oh, I better pick up
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: the phone or I better go on the Web site
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: and buy the by the treadmill. I don't need right
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: by the thigh master. I'm never going to use because
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: it's limited inventory. You got to act now and all
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: that stuff. Operators are standing by. So Scott Boris is
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: not exactly Paul Revere warning the British are coming. The
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: British are coming. Or even Israel Bissell, who actually did
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: the hard lifting, not Paul Revere. This is a shameless
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: infomercial masquerading as financial advice. Scott Boras, in this chapter,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: the super agent, is the ShamWow guy of baseball free agency.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: He is. But wait, there's more. It's like QVC for billionaires.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Why the rush? Simple. If you're Scott Boras, this... And
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Boris didn't say salary cap. There are going to be
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: new restrictions. Now, I believe in the end here, based
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: on the people I've talked to around baseball, there'll be
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: some guardrails added, not an actual salary cap. The players
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: will not agree to that. And there is a point
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: that they have to get a deal done. But Boris
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: sees a salary cap the way Dracula sees the sunrise.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: It's bad for business. The man is not trying to
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: save baseball. That's not what he's trying to do. He's
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: trying to save the family business, protect the gravy train
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: so he can enjoy that nice mansion he lives in
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: in Newport Beach and all the people that work underneath
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: him and all that stuff. And so I understand why
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: he's doing it. It makes sense. But I'd be stunned
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: if anyone said no one's going to. Why would you
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: sign anyone between now and the the first of December?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Just I don't believe that's going to be a thing.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: That happens. All right, it is the Ben Maller Show. Now,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: the cool thing about this hour, since we took no
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: calls since hour number one, last hour was just Benny
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: versus the Penny, that means we reopened the phone lines.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: We reopened the phone lines, and that means it's an
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: opportunity for you to get in, kind of like the
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: beginning of the show, which is the easiest time to
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: get in. So take advantage of that.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: 877-99 on Fox.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: That's 877-996-6369.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: What?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Go there, idiot. And on X, at Ben Maller. That's
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: at Ben Maller. Just try not to suck at a
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: time you cannot suck. That's when you get on the air.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: And we'll have a grand old time. A grand old time.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Time now, though, for the Maller Riddle of the Day.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: That's right. The Iowa.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: You're excited?
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: I'm excited, too. It's always fun. We look forward to
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: the Mallard Riddle of the Day. It's a fun thing.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: We do it every single day. It started because of
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Alf the Alien Opiner and Fergdog, who demanded the Mallard
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Riddle of the Day. And now it's a thing. So
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: here's today's riddle. Milwaukee Brewer players will be wearing custom-designed
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: blanks When they take the field in the World Series
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: on Fox 1 on Friday night. Again, Milwaukee Brewer players
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: will all be wearing custom-designed blank. when they take the
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: field in the World Series starting here in Game 1
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: on a Friday night. That is the Maller Riddle of
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: the Day. You can answer that on X at Ben Maller.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: That is at Ben Maller. We'll get to that, and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: we will do it!
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Next.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maler
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
• 20:16
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• 20:21
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• 20:24
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• 20:26
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• 20:32
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• 20:35
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• 20:38
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• 20:40
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• 20:42
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• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Subscribe. Hit that thumbs up icon. And comment away. The
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio as we roll
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: on and on and on and on. World Series beginning tonight.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: We've got the riddle of the day coming up. Also,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Benny versus the Penny was last hour. But you can
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: go back and hear the podcast. It'll be up later
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: on today. If you missed last hour, we picked the
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: eight most important games of the weekend in the NFL,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: handicapped them against the spread. The Fifth Hour podcast returns today.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of stuff to promote. And don't forget
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour podcast, today's edition, all about the plumbing
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: in Mexico City, a tribute to the plumbing and the
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: altitude in Mexico City. That'll enjoy that. Check that out.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: We'll have that for you coming up in a little bit.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: You can be part of this show on the phones.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: 877-99 on Fox.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: That's 877-996-6369. Also on X, at Ben Maller. That's at
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller, if you want to be part of the
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: live program. Lorraine is here. I love sausage, by the way.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: You like sausage, Ben? In Wisconsin, they have bratwurst there,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: and they have really good pretzels. They also have really
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: good squeaky cheese. Yeah, they have that with a cheese
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: castle in Kenosha. I might have to go visit my
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: brother again, because he never visits me, so I might
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: have to visit him.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Does your brother smell like squeaky cheese?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my brother, actually, his bed is made out of
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: cheese curds. A lot of people don't know that. Oh,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: lucky man. I'd wake up nibbling on it every day. Yeah, exactly, exactly.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: So Lorraine is here. FSR Tech Queen, Kooba Loop at
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: a Bronco fan. That's a Bronco fan. Your comments can
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: and will be used against you in the court of
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: sports radio. So please, please act accordingly. All right, time
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: now for the riddle of the day. And here it is.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: What is the riddle? Well, I'll give it to you.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: So the Milwaukee Brewer players will be wearing custom-designed blank
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: when they take the field in the World Series tonight.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Donkey Sausage says beer-holding batting helmets. Our friend Tom from
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Kansas City, the only home of the Ben Maller Chicken
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Fingers at the landing in Liberty, Missouri. Get your own
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: plate of the Ben Maller Chicken Fingers there in Kansas City.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Tom says jockstraps is the answer. Now, when you go
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: get the Ben Maller chicken fingers, you say, hey, Maller
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: sent me to get the chicken fingers. You got to
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: say that. DJ Spin Patrick says classic double beer holding
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: baseball helmets as well. Fanny Pax from Alf the Alien O'Piner.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: What else do we have? Page down. Andy in Lionel Lakes, Minnesota.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Got it right. Bad job by him. Rebecca went with
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: the custom beer batting helmets. Who else do we have?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Not Blind Austin said, Bratwurst shaped blank is the answer.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: JT the Wingman went with cheese wedge necklaces. That's very important. Yeah,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: you got to have that. Milkman Mike got this right.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Bad job by him. Gunner said the answer is Halloween costumes.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: They'll be wearing Halloween costumes. Pink jerseys guessed by Filler
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Up Phil. That's his answer. Who else? Speedos, guessed by
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Johnny Q's moving man, Matt, said custom thongs. They'll be
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: wearing custom thongs for the game tonight. What else do
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: we have? Let's see. Page down. That's enough. Lorena, do
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: you have an answer, Lorena? Yes, custom knitted socks. Custom
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: knitted socks. Is that the correct answer? Survey said no. Dang.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: The correct answer, the Brewer players will be wearing custom
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: designed cups. for their jockstrap. They have a nice Brewer
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: logo on the cup. In the ballet, they call that
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: a codpiece, which is, I believe it's different than a cup.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: And you can look that up, the codpiece there, which
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: is different. But the Brewer players have the Brewer logo
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: right on their junk. So if they get hit in
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the junk, They're hitting the Brewer logo in the junk.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Let's take some calls. It is a call-in show. We
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: have Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week coming up
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: a little bit later this hour. Let's say hello to Anthony,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: who's in Louisiana. Hello, Anthony. Welcome.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Hey, Ben. How you doing?
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: If I was any better, Anthony, I would be a Saint,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: but not a New Orleans Saint, because you're not a
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: fan of the Saints, right? Even though you're from Louisiana,
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: you don't like the Saints.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: I'm a Cowboy Saint.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I know. That's why I said that. Yeah, that's what happens.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: That's what I said. That's what I said what I said,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: and that's why I said what I said. Yeah, so
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: what's going on with you, Anthony? You called up.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope you have a good weekend, man.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's very kind of you. I appreciate that. Thank you.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: It'll be nice to enjoy a weekend with plumbing and
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: toilets and toilet paper and all that good stuff. You
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: don't realize how much you miss toilet paper until you
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: can't flush it down the toilet.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, man, you got good sense of humor.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. See, he does like
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: your humor, Ben. I'm truly touched by that, Anthony. I
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: really am. That means a lot.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: Hey, Coop. Hey.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: How you doing?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Isn't it past your bedtime? What are you doing up
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: so late?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: I tried to call earlier.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay. Yeah, we had a lot going on. We
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: don't take calls. Well, we took calls in hour one,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: but hour two was not good. I don't know.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Well, Lorraine, you tell your daughter I said hey.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I can't. She got her phone taken away. Yeah, it
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: can't happen. Yep, still grounded.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, you have a good weekend, Lorraine.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right. I'm going to have the best weekend.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go. Oh, Anthony, Anthony. You there? No,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: he's gone. Darn it.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I was going to make magic happen here, but unfortunately,
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I guess he's gone.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Let's go down to Berkeley, and we say hello. Hello.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: to our astrology insider. We go inside the cosmos, outside
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: the Milky Way, right now. And we say hello to Andrea.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Hello, Ben.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: How are you? If I was any better, I would
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: be a Dodger, but not an L.A. Dodger because they'll
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: be watching the World Series on TV tonight because they're
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: not good enough to be in the World Series. And
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: so that's the reality. What's going on with you, though?
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: What do we have here? Big news in the astrology world?
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: All right. Yes, a couple of things I want to share.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: First off, the 49ers Sports Astrology Podcast. I put that
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: up on your Ben Maller Show X feed, Twitter. And
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: it's on your Facebook as well. So I wanted to
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: share that. There's charts for Bob Purdy, Shanahan, Jed York.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: It's quite entertaining. And most important, Lorena, I wanted you
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: to know there's a full moon the day before your birthday.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, stop it. Yes.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: So you can start making some really fun plans.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I do have a couple of fun plans, like howling
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: at the moon. Well, one thing, I want to educate you, Andrea,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: because one thing, I've known Lorena a few years now.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: She's worked on the show, and she's not lacking for fun.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: She's not, she's definitely not, right, Lorena? You'd agree with that, right, Lorena?
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: You have fun. You have a good time. On a
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: scale of one to fun, yeah, I'd say I have
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: a good time most of the time. You're past the fun. Yeah, definitely, yeah.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Yeah, so that's quite auspicious. It'll be
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: really beautiful. It's a Friday night, and if you go
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: out for dinner Saturday or whatever your plans are, a
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: full moon, you feel it two days before the day
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: of and two days later. So just wanted you to
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: know this will be a lovely full moon. Farmer's Almanac
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: calls it the full hunter's moon. So there'll be a
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: full moon. It's the first full moon after the fall equinox.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: Well, thank you, Andrea.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: And we're getting close to the time change, too, right?
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: November 1st, so another week.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, November 1st, exactly right. Yeah, not thrilled about that,
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: but yes, that is true. So, yeah, I just want
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: to wish you a happy Scorpio birthday and Scorpio season.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: You're so sweet.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: And Virgo in service on the X-Machine for our friend Andrea.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: She is back. And better than ever. And if only
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I had, I didn't look at my board, and then
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I saw Anthony, and then I was going to hang
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: up on him, and then Andrea's name was on the board,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: and I didn't put two and two together. Bad job
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: by me. Next time. Hollering James is in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hello,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Hollering James.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: What side does the pity land on?
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, you have the radio on in the background. That's good.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: How's the show sound? Can you turn that up? Do
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: you want to hear it?
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Chief Clark and Andrea Sheehy.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's a long delay. That's a lot of delay.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Well, you have a long delay in Minnesota because of
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: the weather. Yes, yes.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: We're talking slower because of the bad weather in Minnesota.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: That is correct.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. Thank you. Anything else? Is that it? No.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: What does the baby say about the Vikings game? Who
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: do you like in that one?
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Were you listening? That was one of the games. That
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: was one of the games. I was listening. Yeah, and
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: who did I pick?
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: You picked the Vikings.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Well, that's interesting. I didn't actually do that, but I'm
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: glad that you were not listening. That's good. What is
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: going on? Oh, I think we know. Andrea just pointed
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: out there's a full moon, so that's what's going on.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: There's a moon. You excited for the full moon, James?
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the problem is, Ben. Is this poltergeist?
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Are you being possessed by the devil?
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I think he has just taken some of those 36 pills.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: 36 pills in the morning, 36 pills at night. Well, James,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: we're going to let go of you because you sound
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: like you're possessed by demons. So we're going to move on.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Hopefully you're okay. For those of you that say we
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: should get James some medical help, we've known James a
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: long time. There have been moments he has sounded like
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: this in the past, right? Coop, we've had him on.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: He sometimes sounds possessed by demons. Yeah. You know, Ben,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I think he just needs more sleep. When was the
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: last time that we went to him and he was snoring?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: It's been a minute. Yeah, they change his medicine. So
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: that's what happens. But all right. Well, there he goes.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Hollering James. What a treat that was. My God. All right.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Do we get credit for the demon listening or no?
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: We don't get credit for that. I don't think so.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Apparently not. That's unfortunate. After that call. I think we
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: need to take a break and a pause. And we
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: have Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week. Big Ben's
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Lame Jokes of the Week coming up momentarily. Now, do
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: you know where to watch the World Series?
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: No.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: No? Okay, let me tell you. It's this thing called
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Fox One. And I'm told there's no time like October.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: And this is what it's all been for. All the baseball,
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: going back to spring training and the regular season and
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: all that stuff. The World Series is here. It's kind
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: of a big deal. They give out a piece of metal,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: as the commissioner called it back in the day. Streaming
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: live on Fox One. It's the Brewers versus the Rays
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: on baseball's biggest stage. Stream it live on Fox One
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: starting tonight. You've got the Miz for the Brew Crew
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: and someone named Nick Martinez, generic name for Tampa Bay,
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: and that is game one of the World Series tonight.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: We've got Big Ben's lame jokes of the week. All
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: the great one-liners, all the best jokes of the week
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: as sent in by the Mallard Militia. We'll get to that,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: and we will do it next.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. There's a
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: compact version of the Ben Maller Show that you can
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: take literally anywhere. You can take it on any plane,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: any train, any automobile. You can go to the beach
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: with it. You can go to the trees, the forest.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: It's the iHeartRadio app. You have that iHeartRadio app. You
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: can become a follower of the Ben Maller Show, a P1,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Preset 1, Preset 2, Preset 3. Now, I recommend having
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: the Ben Maller Show podcast as Preset 1, the Fifth
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Hour podcast as Preset 2, and then the Fox Sports
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Radio channel as Preset 3. You can listen live anywhere
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: in the world on the iHeartRadio app. We have listeners
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: all over the place that say, Hey, I'm on the
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: iHeart app. I'm wandering around here. I'm in Australia.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: I'm in.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: New Zealand, I'm in Austria, all over the place. So
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: check out the iHeartRadio app. Fox Sports Radio channel for
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: the live feed. Ben Maller Show podcast, fifth hour podcast.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: My first experience with Mexican wrestling. Tell you how that
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: went on the fifth hour podcast later today. So check
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: that out on the iHeart app.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: Knock, knock.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: Who's there? Lame week. Lame week who?
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week. And we
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: welcome in a man who could not hold down a
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: job because he couldn't show up, and yet he never
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: misses an episode of the Ben Maller Radio Show when
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: he's supposed to be on. He's always here answering the
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: call to duty. Everyone's favorite comedian. Are you a comedian?
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you are. Weed Man Hippie. Our
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: friend Billy from Hollywood, Florida. Hello, Billy.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: Hey, Ben. I love you. Make me laugh.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like you're just saying that. I feel like
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: you're just saying that.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: No, what are you talking about?
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I'm going to quiz you, Weed Man. I want to
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: see if you've been paying attention. What channel is the
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: World Series on tonight? On Fox. Well, that's kind of right.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: It's Fox 1, Weed Man. There's no time like October,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: and this is what it's all been for. Did you
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: know that? The World Series is here streaming live on
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Fox 1. I know Weed Man's going to get that
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: on his device. It's the Brewers versus the Rays. Baseball
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: is big. I'm doing a promo, dummy. Watch it on Fox.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: The worst World Series ever, according to Weedman. My God.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Stream it live on Fox One. Holy crap.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: Send me some food.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Coop, make sure not to send that to the TV people, please, Coop. Yeah,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: that's not the one I'm going to use for the
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: air check. All right. Here we go, Weed Man. Actual jokes.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: We'll get to the Weed Man roast in a minute.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: We have some other jokes that we're sending. Believe it
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: or not, they're not all Weed Man jokes. These are jokes,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: by the way. Care of BenMallerShow at gmail.com. BenMallerShow at gmail.com.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: What are our friend Lorena and Anthony in Louisiana going
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: to be on Halloween?
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: What?
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: Cousins. Kirk Cousins is what.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: They're going to be.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: That's from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. What do you call
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: 60 minutes of pain?
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: What?
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: An ow-er. That's what you call it. That's a good
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: dad joke. Mike sent that one in. Well, Kevin Dallas
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: says some big news in his town outside Dallas. They
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: closed a couple of businesses down. Did you hear about this?
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: No, what happened?
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently a local bra manufacturer has gone bust and
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: a submarine company's gone under. So it's all over for them.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Kevin. The 1980s want that joke back. All right.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Did you know that myself, Weed Man, the host of
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: the show, Ben Maller, once commissioned a study to say
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: ranch dressing, ketchup, and mustard are the worst condiments ever? Really?
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: The study was done by the Mayo Institute. So there's that.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: George in Uvalde, Texas. Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Her hubby had a hollow weenie. That's good. This is
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: so great. So this is why I love this show.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: That is from Rosie, who is a teacher, and probably
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: a prim and proper teacher, and she sent that, and
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I love that. All right. Who is iHeart's biggest competition?
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Who?
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Adam Silver, guaranteed alien. That's from Kurt from Earth. Well,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: how do you fix a broken pumpkin? You need to
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: know this weed, man. Halloween's coming up.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, I don't know how.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: With a pumpkin patch. You use a pumpkin patch there.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: There you go. I love that one. That's a good joke, too.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: That was from Mike. Lucky Tony sent a fat chick
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: joke in about Packer fans. I think I'll skip that one.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: What else do we have? What happens at Fox Sports
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Radio on Halloween?
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: What?
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: All the shows have skeleton crews. That's from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I think we'll all be here. Oh, wait, no. Halloween's
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: on Saturday. friday i think is it saturday i don't
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: know no it's on saturday this year okay that means
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: that it won't be on a good day for another
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: you know seven years or whatever that's what they say
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: yeah did you hear jimmy kimmel was trying out weed
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: man hippie jokes for his show wow cool yeah sadly
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: none of them worked. None of them worked, though, just
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: like you. That's Joe in Virginia Beach. What is Weed
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Man's favorite part of a basketball game?
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: What?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Garbage time. That's Surfer Todd the Comedian. How can you
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: tell Weed Man's getting cold? His gums start chattering. That's
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Noah in Austin. Kevin Kansas says, what's easier to understand
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: than Weed Man Hippie on the Sunday 5th Hour Mailbag?
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: What?
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Charlie Brown's teacher using a tin can and string speaking Russian.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: People hate your phone, Weed Man. Why did Weed Man
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: buy a boat?
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: There was a sail on it. That's why. There you go.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: What do you get when you cross Mike the Leprechaun
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: and Weed Man hippie? What? A green midget looking for
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: apopuko gold and the end of the rainbow. That's from
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Rosie the teacher again. All right. Why did Weed Man
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: join a book club?
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: He wanted to read between the lines. That's Mike the Leprechaun.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: Big Ben's lame jokes of the week. Thanks for ripping
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: the promo, Weed Man. Thank you, buddy.