Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show + More

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INTERVIEW: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Breakfast Club Morning, everybody in dej n V Jess hilarious,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Charlemagne the God, we are the Breakfast Club.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Laura Ross here as well. We got a special guest
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: in the building.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: We have doctor Cheyenne Bryant.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Welcome man.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: You are one of the people in the mental health space.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Who are you? Who's us who's really using social media
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: right right?
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: Like you know, because you've used it to you know,
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: So I applauded you on.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I always say
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't get into this field to become a celebrity.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: But God has his own plans, right, So I literally
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: and my master's and my doctor program. I remember my
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: professor was saying, everyone who's gonna get license, raise your hand.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: I didn't raise my hand. Everybody else did. And he's like, Doc,
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: you're going, you know with Shyanne at that time, you're
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: going through all this not get license. I'm like, no,
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: because I'm gonna be on a platform where I'm able
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: to change lives. Didn't think that it ended up being
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: a platform where to this magnitude one and then to
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: the place where literally I didn't want it, the whole
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm saying I
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: don't want it now and I don't like it, It's just
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: this is not where I expected it to go. But again,
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: if God needs to use a celebritiness and I said
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: it at your Mental health and Mental Health Expo, you know,
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: whether the celebrity status brings me, the naysayers or the sayers,
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: whatever it brings. As long as they can get a
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: tip R two that gives them a better quality of
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: life and helps them become better mentally, then run the play.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: I'm cool with it.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: How does that impact though, Like you do work in
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: mental health, but there's a lot of like the naysayers
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: are so loud, How does that impact you mental health wise?
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: And like, what's your work through because it's there, especially
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: with that when the cam interview came out, they were
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: people were upset about it. Some people agree, but you know,
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: how do you, as a person in that space deal
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: with all of that pushback.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: This is the thing, Sis, I grew up a little
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: girl in the inner city, in the hood. I grew
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: up to two teenage parents. My mom was addicted to
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: the drug that my father sold. I'm a product of
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: a street dude, a straight gangster who turned into being
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: a good family man, and my mom is now sober
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: for the record. And so I say all that to
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: say that when you grow up in a certain type
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: of adversity, loud noise, that's against the grain of what
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: you're doing. It's not a loud noise, you know, it's
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: a norm. And that's why you know, the Bible says
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: it's good for me that I was afflicted, because when
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: you have those afflictions, they are preparing you for a
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: time like this that you have to stand in a
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: leadership role. And leadership comes with pressure, it comes with commitment,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: it comes with character. And so when you have naysayers
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: who are applying pressure, then that's when you show if
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: you apply it for your diamond. But I already knew
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: from the trenches that I was a diamond, So I
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: wasn't worried about coming into this space with somebody having
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: a problem with what I'm doing. And I'm in my intent,
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I'm in my purpose, and I'm vertical on who i am.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: It don't matter to me because I'm running my own place,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: So I'm not sitting up there as a quarterback being
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Brady waiting for a moss.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Just put somebody out there. We're gonna win.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Put someone out there. That's just what it is, you know.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: So when you're vertical and who you are, you're not
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: really worried about what is going to show up to
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: catch the catch. You know you your job is to throw,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: and then the receiver's job is to do what to catch.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: And so the quarterback don't throw and go just catch
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: you better do it? Just hands up. The quarterback throws
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: and he like, all right, I know I did it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Tan up the slant over and that's it. And it's
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: a celebration if you're in there. If not, we run
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: the play back again until we do it. And that's
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: just what That's what life's about.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Now, you talked about your calling, So when it came
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: when it comes to your calling, what is your calling?
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: your specialty when it comes to and what's your calling?
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I love that. So I started off as a marriage
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: and marriage i'man child therapist, and I tell God, I said, listen,
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I'm a little girl from the hood. You know what
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: I come from. Don't put me in the hood, and
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: don't put me with with you know, court order DCF kids.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Not that I had a problem with him. I didn't
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: want to be triggered dealing with them and I didn't
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: want to have to deal with what I came from.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: I wasn't in the system, but I came from that
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: type of adversity. And the first place God put me
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: was off of Hotdale and Sloughster and I don't know
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: if you're familiar with LA, but a block away from
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: Sloss and swap me in the hood. And every one
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: of my clients were court ordered DCFS Department of Family
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: and Child Services. We have moms in there who were pregnant,
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: still still hitting the pipe asking me can I sign
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: off on the documents so they can get the kids back,
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: because I was predicated on their unification with their kids,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: and so started off as doing that. When I got
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: my doctor, I transitioned to a psychology expert life coach
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: so that my hands wouldn't be tied behind my back
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: because when I was a therapist working for a nonprofit
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: under a license, the protocol, just with the BBS law,
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: and you're very familiar with mental health and therapy, there's
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: so many things that you cannot do based on ethics
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: and law that, in my opinion, it the gates and
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: it really takes away from the real therapeutic experience. So,
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: for example, I had a young lady come in and
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: she had experienced sexual abuse. Her mother was allowing men
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: to pay her to have sex with her daughter at thirteen,
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: from age all the way from age eight to sixteen.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: The last time the guy came in, he put her
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: on the burners and the stove burners and had his
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: way with her. For that young lady, thank god, that
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: was the last straw for her. So she ends up
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: in my office and we're talking and she's telling me
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: her story and I'm starting to become triggered because it's
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: trigger and my sexual abuse passed and so long story short,
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: after one of our sessions, I get up and she's
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: in tears and she's telling her story and I go
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: to huger and she's like, no, no, no, you know,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: don't touch me because that's not something that she's in
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: a place to handle at that time. No problem. Eight
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: months go by, she's like she has to then be
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: transferred out. She's like, all right, you know I wasn't
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: doctor Brian and I was Chyenne. She's like, miss Chyenne,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: thank you for everything. I'm like okay, and she goes, oh,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: by the way, I'm ready for that. Hug everything in me,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: everything in me. Dj Vy was just like everything.
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: Was just like yeah.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: And so not only did I hug her, but I
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: think I broke through the BBS laws because I hugged
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: that poor baby. I kissed all over her. But you're
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: not supposed to do that.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You're still human now, but you're still human.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: And so my specialty then was marriage, FAMIN and child therapy.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: So that is my foundation. So now that I am
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: a psychologist for life coach, I can't get rid of
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: that because that's my foundation. I do psyched on MCBT,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: but I couple it, which is my hybrid approach, with coaching.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: So it's therapy and coaching, which is hybrid. And I
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: say this without humility. That's why I'm so effective because
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: therapy is telling me more. Let me hear about your trauma,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: your daddy issues to mom issues. Why are you who
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: you are? And then once you're finished dealing with that
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: and you process that. Okay, DJ MVY, what the hell
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: you going from there?
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I do have one of the questions when it comes
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: to the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: watching the mend This Brothers, right, and I had a question. Right,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: So the Amanda's brothers, if you don't know, they confess
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: their crime to their therapist, and they believed that the
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: therapists could not tell police officers because it was I guess,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: patient client privilege, but they did. So does that mean
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: anything that I tell a therapist or that anybody tells
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: a therapist can and can possibly be used against them
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: in the court of law.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: One hundred percent. So a therapist is only under confidential
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: oath unless you are threatened to kill yourself and someone else.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: And it can't just be a threat, it has to
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: be you have you actually have like an action plan
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: to do so, right. You can't just come to me
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: and say, hey, Doc, look you know I want to
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: kill myself. I will help you process through that and
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: hopefully talk you off the ledge. But if you say
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I got a plan. At nine pm, I'm leaving the house,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: I'm going to do X, Y and Z to my wife.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Then I have a duty to report. If I'm subpoenaed
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: to court, I have to speak on that.
• 7:53
  Speaker 7: Now.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: If I did a crime and I'm talking to you
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: about the crime because it's eating me up, you're not
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: supposed to tell law enforcem it's if I already killed
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: somebody already did the crime already, even.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: If it's a murder, only unless that they're that that's it.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: When it comes to subpoena in the court and the
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: justice system, their law oversees everything. It just does. When
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: it comes to your confidentiality as client privilege, there's nothing
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: that I can.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: Say out even can you reach out to the court
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: and say, subpoena me, I need to be SENA.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Would never do that, just because I believe in following
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: the oath of and maybe I just love and respect
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: my clients too much. But if you came to me
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: and said something, I'm just not And I know this
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: come separately and together and the husband is just lighting
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: it up in his individual sessions, like I'm cheating. I'm
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: intimate with this person and that person is family members
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: is this, and I'm and I'm having to just make
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: sure I process my counter transfers because I'm sitting there
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: like damn, and I have her in one hour. In
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: one hour. God. Now, of course, if it was like
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: my girlfriend, I'd be likeriend, because my best friend couldn't
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: be that's that's a confidation. She could never come to
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: me as as a psychology experting that. But I then
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: I'd be I'd be you know, ripping into in.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Talk to me from the human perspective, because you still
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: you're still a real.
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Stuff like that when you hear a guy come in
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: one hour and he doing X, y Z, then the
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: woman coming the next hour, what is going through your
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: mind about to do?
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Charla, And my clients are watching this. My client's gonna
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: be like, that's what you really mean? But you know,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: in my mind, honestly what I try to do, and
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: and and and and some of my clients have followed
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: this guidance. I have one client now, he's he's married
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: and the wife is attempted to divorce him, and she's
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't have any
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: hard facts on him. So I've all I've actually been
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: able to process with him. Was, so, you're going to
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: be with this woman or not? If you want to
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: be with her or you want to be able to
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: leave and do better. At some point you got to
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: be able to be real with yourself and real with her,
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: and you got to be transparent. When do you plan
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: on doing that? So he just literally this week or
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: last week, because this week he told me doc. I
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: sat with her and I told her that has been
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: you know a few times that I did cheat. And
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I said, how does she respond? He says, She said,
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: now we can have a conversation because now you keeping
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: it real. And when I had her in session, I said, listen, triggered, triggered, right, yeah,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Like you have two options, said, either you know, I can.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: I can if you're willing to learn to love a dog,
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: we can start that process because you know, or we
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: could start the process of you leaving and starting over.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: And she goes, what do you mean by a dog?
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: She said, but he didn't. We've been together for ten years.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: He's never cheated. The first time I said no, no, baby,
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: I said, he'd been quiet for ten years. He decided
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: to bark, and you're number ten Jesus.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: So you don't think so you don't think that he
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: First of all, nobody change, including me. We shift, and
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: that changes our life. And when I say we shift,
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: serve us after we learn they're not working, and then
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: we have to learn to manage those. So I am
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: I was very you know who the fuck you're talking to?
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Real quick? I just because of my trauma, because of things,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: I just had a very protective by all means necessary.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: I'm the Otus of seven, so I was you know,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I've like this place up? Is that still in me
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: after all of my healing? Hell? Yeah? Do I manage it? Absolutely?
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Managing it just means that I'm high function I'm able
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: to regulate my emotions right, identify my emotions, don't get
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: into my feelings because emotions are healthy. Feelings cause problems,
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: and I can just say, okay, identify that I'm angry,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I'm frustrated, So now let me choose my response. Before
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: I was low functioning. Once I felt it, I was
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: triggered and everybody here was gonna know and it was gonna.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Be a problem.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: So does that still come up? Yeah, but do I
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: have self talk that says we're not doing that.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: So you don't think people can change.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: You just feel like they manage ourself. Well, we manage
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: our self up. So a man who's a womanizer, he
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: is always a womanizer. It's just how well can he
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: discipline or manage his womanizing appetite, his womanizing actions, his
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: womanizing desires? Can he imagine manage his environment? Can he
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: be in a room full of women and not womanized
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: and not cheat and not step out and not have
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: infidelity issues. We like what we like. We are who
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: we are.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: So you would never date a man that cheated before
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: because you feel like he will always be a cheated
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: different relationships bring out different things in us. I was
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: also an extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: two engagements to called off two weddings. My first relationship
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: if he tried to be alpha, I left no space.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: It was like hell no by all means necessary, Because
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: I said so on you can walk like I'm chasing
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: my career. I know my value. I'm not fatherless. I
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: got a daddy. He spoils me good day.
• 13:07
  Speaker 8: So even in that, do you feel like that he
• 13:09
  Speaker 8: wasn't man enough for you? Or like, what was that?
• 13:11
  Speaker 8: Do you think that's your fault? Do you look back
• 13:13
  Speaker 8: and be like, ugh, I was trying to be the man,
• 13:16
  Speaker 8: not trying to be the man.
• 13:17
  Speaker 6: But I actually I gave him.
• 13:19
  Speaker 8: Because you just said you gave no room for him
• 13:20
  Speaker 8: to do it. So do you regret that part of me?
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: That's a duality. I think he chose a woman who
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: I chose a man who was beta because my alpha
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: That's why I say it's circumstantial. But not only was
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: he alpha, I was ready. I had these submissive fills
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: in me already, So by the time we got in
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: a relationship, I was a hybrid. By then I was
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: alpha submissive, so I was cooking. He was daddy. I
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: was soft. I was in my feminine and the blessing
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: of that is I got to experience both, and I
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: learned that I fell more in love with myself in
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: my softness than he probably did. Like I was doing
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: ship where I'm like, oh, that's me, that's me right now,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: even in the bedroom things that I was like, no,
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: I'm not. When I was in my office, absolutely not.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: I was like, can we do that thing again? That
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: thing I don't look at y'all y'all married? Can we
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: do that thing? And that thing? I said, submit, but
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: also but right, but also plays a role. But in the.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: Position what you doing, I'm not gonna from When you
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: said that, I kept thinking of his story, what it
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: was telling me, the story about never mind Gilly the
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: King was telling me a story about something that was
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: in kim Porter the book, and how did he do that?
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: I mean something you don't feel answer question that can change.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Though, Like you know maturity because you know a lot
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: of times I because a lot of time I think
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: sometimes you're immature and you don't know right. And I
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: think you can grow out of things where you are mature,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: not just being a womanizer or being insecure. Some of
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: those things you grow out of because you learn differently.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: And some of the things that you follow is because
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: of society teaches you other than what you should be
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: doing if.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: You're I'm saying so when I was a child, I
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: thought as a child. Now that I'm a man, I
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: think is as a man, right, That's what the Bible says.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: So do I think that we can mature out of
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: things just But maturity takes work, It takes awareness and
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: sense of self. So how many of us are really
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: getting that? If we're in the same environments, the same relationships,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: are dating different people with the same spirit, So the
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: same spirit is going to activate the same things in you.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: You want different, there has to be a different circumstance
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: of different activation. I went from a beta to an alpha,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: and I was receptive to being with an alpha. Well,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: that's why I was able to be activated in my
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: feminine I wouldn't choose abata now, I'd want an alpha man,
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: but I also hold space for an alpha man. You
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: couldn't be with a woman who is high functioning and
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: be a womanizer. She ain't holding space for you. You can
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: pray on a low functioning woman because she holds space
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: too much space for a low functioning man who wants
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: to prey on her. But if you were to say,
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: you know what, I want to shift up my ways,
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: you would also have to shift and choose a woman
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: who won't tolerate that, because she will hold you accountable
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: when you're in a space that don't work for her. Sure,
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: does that make sense? So you can't be in the
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: same environment.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But let's say a man is insecure, and he's insecure
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: when he's sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, right because he doesn't know
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: the world, or a man follows the likeness of, for instance,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: hip hop right because hip hop influence is so much
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: of us and a lot of us were.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Grown from it.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: You know, whether it was what we did, what we
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: spoke about, carrying guns, selling drugs, being a womanized, whatever
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: that may be.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Men can change change.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like what you're saying is true,
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: but I feel like I would say shifts lead to Actually,
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: that's what I'm.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Saying, so right, So I'm not saying, listen, we're not Jesus,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: We're not turning water to one. I've said that on
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: the Cam Newton the episode, and I stand by that.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: So you're not gonna change, and you're not gonna switch
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: up and tomorrow be a six ' five chocolate mad.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: You don't know what identify.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: Listen, I'm self projected. That's what I'm trying to say.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: But can you shift? Shifts will change you your world.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: You don't change, you shift. So what happens is that
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: insecure boy grows up to be a man who shifts
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: things in him and his environment changes, and so does
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: he feel his insecurity and flame way less? Absolutely? But
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: whether there be moments where your little boy arises in
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: you because you're triggered, that's life. And when that happens,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: if it's once a year or once every five years,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: you have to have the effective tools to manage that
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: little boy or he will sabotage or he will go cheat.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: And that's how you say he ain't cheated in ten years,
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: but he barked on your number ten.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I agree with that wholeheartedly. The way it was worded
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: the first time, I was like, I think can change,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: But I get what you said totally.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, people can shift and that creates a change, But
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: we don't wake up and we're like, we're totally different.
• 18:11
  Speaker 8: So the interview with Cam and also I saw that
• 18:14
  Speaker 8: you sat down with Nick.
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: How did that?
• 18:16
  Speaker 8: How did did the firecracker, and you be like, I
• 18:20
  Speaker 8: need to sit down with them. How did you get
• 18:22
  Speaker 8: them in the room? How did you do those two interviews?
• 18:24
  Speaker 8: Did they reach out to you or did you reach
• 18:26
  Speaker 8: out to them?
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: So Nick reach out to me and said, Doc, what's up?
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Like I want to work through somethings, but I want
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: to work through it on camera. And I said, okay,
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: no problem, but I'm going to penetrate, so we're not
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: doing it petrate.
• 18:45
  Speaker 6: Crazy, So he liked penetration.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Nick always goes, Doc, do you have to use that word.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I am. I'm penetrating you at the
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: space that obviously it's broken and.
• 19:07
  Speaker 7: The men don't change. No twelve year old girl right now?
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: Definitely present, definitely.
• 19:17
  Speaker 8: So when he says all right, I need to work
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: through some things, You're like, okay on camera?
• 19:23
  Speaker 6: Does that then in your mind say is this for real?
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: For real? Or do you want to appeal to a
• 19:31
  Speaker 6: certain market, you know, to a certain audience.
• 19:34
  Speaker 8: You know what I'm saying, because you know, we're in
• 19:36
  Speaker 8: the in the times now where everything has to be
• 19:38
  Speaker 8: recorded or didn't happen or you know, that's just how
• 19:40
  Speaker 8: people look or how people feel. But what does that
• 19:44
  Speaker 8: make it a little phony to you? So, because I
• 19:49
  Speaker 8: couldn't find another word.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Other than but great observation, I didn't look at it
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: like that because I look at it like I have
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: a job to do and a purpose to serve. So
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: whether we have one camera or ten, you're gonna get
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: this work. And so they may have done it, and
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying they did. They may have done it
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: from an entertainment perspective, but as we see, more than
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: entertainment came out of it. Because your intention will always
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: be what ends up being the end result for you.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: And so my intent was to use Nick's situation and
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: shift a whole culture of black men saying what Cam,
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: and it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: a lot of black men were actually in there creating
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: the vironus and saying, listen, Doc is right, we need
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: to create more husbands and less baby daddies. Black men
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: were like, I'm twenty six, I got three kids by
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: three different women, and She's right, this ain't it, man.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: We got to do different. That was my intent, and
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: my intent is what manifested. So and Nick as well.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Kim was resistant, but Cam had to answered a lot
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: of questions in his household, Cam had a lot of stuff.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: He had a lot of different conversations he had to
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: have with that woman whether she wants to come out
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: on social media and where the mask she's been wearing,
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: that mask is off at home. Cam had to answer
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: questions that created a lot of conflict. Conflict is needed
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: for a resolve and for shift and change, and so, yeah,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: entertainment or not. I wanted to make sure that what
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: happened happened, that the conversation is now being had everywhere
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: that it is time for our community to do things differently.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: And if you have already created broken houses and homes,
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: you're not doomed, but you need to stop. It's a
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: time to stop, like we're not here to create broken houses.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: And now yourself, you're projecting your daddy issues and mommy
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: issues as a man onto an entire generation that has
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: to now grow up to figure out what the hell
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: is the root of their issue and how do they
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: not sabotage and how do they do this thing differently?
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, caa.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: Cam said that you know it affected his relationship with
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: his first two baby moms and his current situation.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: You feel that no, Yeah.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Because I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No. Yeah, like
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: the ship should have been interrupted a long time. A
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: lot of you know Cam and you come from, and
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: not that this breeds you know, good decision making people.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: But Cam comes from he's a pastor's child. He comes
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: from two parents that are still married and they're still
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: very their pastors, very much involved with the church that
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: goes to show you, like the Bible said, it was
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: good for me that I was afflicted because you got
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: people who come from brokenness. This is why I said,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: these kids are not doomed who make different decisions because
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: it's not about where a lot of times it's not
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: where you go and that gets you where you're going.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: It's where you trying to get the hell away from.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: And a lot of times parents. Yeah, like I was
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: telling ray J a this, ray J is my client
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: as well Jesus, And I was telling ray I said, ray,
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: I love your parents, but they showed you everything to
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: do right, they didn't show you what not to do.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: And see, for me, I had a circumstances an environment
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: that showed me everything not to do. So sometimes knowing
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: what not to do saves you from doing the wrong shit.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: It's not about having a perfect household. It's about having
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: a blended, balanced household that says, listen, this is what
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: you can do to get you this, this is what
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: you you shouldn't do. And when you come from a
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: lot of pastor kids and these these folks who come
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: in from these really perfect households are perfect marriages that
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: have a lot of infidelity, a lot of brokenness in them,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: these folks, these kids learn how to master the life
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: as well, and they learn how to overcompensate for what
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: they're missing in broken houses, in womanizing or mannizing ways,
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: and that becomes an issue and then they just becomes
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: a dysfunctional pattern where they keep creating this. They get
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: comfortable and dysfunction and say I'm thriving here. No you're not.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: You've learned to survive and you're teaching everybody else who
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: you are, you know, creating or pro creating how to survive.
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: I was just going to ask, how do you deal
• 23:45
  Speaker 8: with your other clients if you have raj.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I do Oh yeah, I have that. I have vice counsel.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah. I have a nice group, a nice
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: really healthy ecosystem. People who are in you know, counselors
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: and coaches and who are not do that? I use them?
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: Does this like so like with the camp situation, is
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: in there like a follow up conversation with him and
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: like he wants to work through more stuff now off
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: camera because like it, I'm sure it triggered a lot
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: for him as well too when those additional conversations had
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: to happen, or like is he gonna be like what
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: happens after that? We see it in real we see
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: it on the internet and it goes crazy.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the baby.
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: Mom's a girlfriend. All the fall out.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: There's been recent fallout too with him talking about her
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: Jazz not being the only woman that he slept with
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: in a relationship, and so there's things coming out. Now
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: does he hit you up and say, hey, I want
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: to do some more work. I wanna have a conversation
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: or he's like nah.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: He's he hasn't hit me up to say yes, but
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: he's definitely not like nah, okay, But I who I
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: would love to have a conversation with, whether it can
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: whether it's on camera or off not, just to more
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: support her in whatever she's doing right now or feeling
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: or going through. Is Jazz, Yeah, I would love to
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: have a conversation with Jazz, even if it's a private session.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: I think that she needs tools on how to be
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: in this relationship if she's gonna stay, and if she
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: chooses to leave, she needs tools on how to also
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: pivot that. And it's not about having a conversation with
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: her or having a session with her to get her
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: to change her mind. It's about getting her to feel
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: supported and showing compassion and then trying to figure out
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: where she wants to navigate from here. And see, that's
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: the thing, because I don't know if you saw months ago,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: or this may have been before she was pregnant. I
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: think I saw this she's happy with or you know,
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: with everything that's going on.
• 25:28
  Speaker 6: You know how she's okay with that.
• 25:31
  Speaker 8: So if she understands and she is willing and she's like, okay,
• 25:34
  Speaker 8: I'm all in, I'm abiding by every rule that you have,
• 25:38
  Speaker 8: then what the hell are you going to talk to
• 25:40
  Speaker 8: her about? You know what I'm saying, like, how can
• 25:42
  Speaker 8: cause even as a woman watching that, right, I didn't
• 25:46
  Speaker 8: know who she was with yet until it came out
• 25:48
  Speaker 8: and then I was like, oh damn, all right, So
• 25:51
  Speaker 8: that's how you feel about him, and that's my man's
• 25:53
  Speaker 8: and that's my girl. But I'm just like, damn, how
• 25:56
  Speaker 8: strong the strongest back that I've ever her.
• 26:01
  Speaker 6: I give my head.
• 26:02
  Speaker 8: Off to her for dealing with that whole dynamic, But
• 26:06
  Speaker 8: what can you say to her that'll change?
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: I think it's helping her come to herself. And I
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: think that I think that Jazz got herself into something
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: that one she didn't understand that she was getting herself into.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: And I think she would love to back paddle if
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: she could. But where do you go from here? You
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: have a child? A lot of women, especially Black women,
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: stay because they don't want to be a product of
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: a broken house and they don't want to be a
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: single mom who wants to be a statistic who wants
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: to be that right. And so for her, I understand
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: why she would want to stay to make it work.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: But I also would understand why she wants to leave
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: to do it right. And it's not because he has kids.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: It's because this man is not honoring you. He's disrespecting you.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: And he's not only doing it privately, he's doing it publicly.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: He's not even allowing it to be pillow talk.
• 27:05
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: So it's like, And that's what I mean by the
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: epitome of a high valued man in the most low
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: functioning functionality you can have, Like you have no respect
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: at all for this woman who you not only have
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: a child with, but you are in a relationship with.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: You're waiting for God to give you more kids. You
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: have a woman at home, You're sleeping with other women
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: publicly on your platform for this woman to feel how
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: all you're doing is self projecting your brokenness and your
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: pain on this woman. In all of these eight kids
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: and these three other women, you are pro creating broken houses.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: And let me go further, he also has a broken
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: home with her, because a broken house and a broken
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: home are two different things, so you have both. A
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: broken house is just a single family home. It could
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: be one mama, one daddy, or for people who have partners,
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: it could be one partner in the house. That means
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: just there's one person. A broken home is you got
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: a two party households. The home is owen pair. They
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: can't even function at a level of healthiness. Cam has both,
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: and he knows that, and he's trying to figure out
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: how he front backside pedals. But this is the deal.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: You know, and I said this to him jokingly and
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: I wasn't pun attended, but it was like I told him,
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: I said, I said, Cam, before we didn't even I say, Kim,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: you're about to throw picks this entire interview. It's like
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: you did when you was playing. I said, you took
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: him to a super Bowl but you couldn't get the ring.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: And he just looked and he said no. But to
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: backtrack real quick, Cam reached out to me before the interview.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: But but did I did I catch the picks or not?
• 28:40
  Speaker 7: From what I saw, Yeah, the pig's right.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: And so but my point is Cam reached out to
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: me because EGO, he seen me and Nick Cannon's interview
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: and he said Nick was too soft. Do my interview.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: It's not it's not going to be that same smoke.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: And so I said, sign me up when I'll fly
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: out tomorrow. He said, oh, okay, like that. I said,
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: hundred percent, I'm ready. And so when it happened, I
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: think Cam's edge was to throw me off, yeah, and
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: to see if he can challenge you, challenge me and
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: more dominate the conversation. My intent was to bring healing
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: in awareness and he got that.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Do you ever tell women to leave when you're dealing
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: when you're talking to women on men, do you ever
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: tell them to leaveuse? I know a lot of times
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: therapists won't tell somebody to leave. And if somebody is
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: still in a relationship, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: a woman or not as or whether it's something that's negative,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: do you feel like if a woman stays, she's weak.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: I don't think she's weak. I think she has a
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: lot of underlining issues that need to be processed, and
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: I think she doesn't have awareness of what those are
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: and what that relationship is feeding are the underlining issues,
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: and she's staying because she needs those to be fed.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: And if she leaves, what's fed? If she doesn't have
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: any awareness of her healthiness. See, what we know is
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: what feeds us. We all set up feeding stations and
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: we go and feed on things that we have awareness of,
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: which is a lot of times I trum artists function
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: or our survival mechanism. And so I never tell them
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: to leave, but I do help them either say this
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: is what the work is going to take to stay,
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: and this is what it looks like for you to leave.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: What do you want to do.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: So, you don't feel like if a man stays a
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: woman stays, they are weak, whether it's whatever their relationship.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: You don't feel that way. You feel like people can
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: get through certain things, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's abuse,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: whether it's cheating, whether it's whatever it may be.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: I think that people can get through it if they're
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: willing to reinvent. So marriage isn't something that always has
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: to be dissolved. Sometimes they can be recreated and reinvented
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: if two people are open to that. And I say
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: that because you know, I'm not married yet. I look
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: forward to being married and being a mother, but I'm
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: not divorcing my husband, and so it very well could
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: be where, you know, shoot the social media hopefully not
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: goes off on dog one day and says, hey, what
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: you was preaching? What's up? What you're doing nowfully not,
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: but I'm saying that I'm not leaving my husband.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: What do you say?
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: What do you say to people that say, you know,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: when you're not married?
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: That was?
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: What do you say to those people I love that
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: I say that I don't want to hear you been
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: together fifteen years and miserable thirteen I rather take advice
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value,
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: then someone who is miserable in the marriage with a
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: side dude and a side check. And you want to
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: give me an advice that you give yourself, that you're
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: using your failed marriage a pass better a pass a past.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: And what happens is married people like to shun on
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: People look that up. It says marriage discipline. No, it
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: says marriage take discipline.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of times they say that you reach
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: out to older couples that's been married longer because they'll
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: tell you how to deal with the marriage than people,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: you know, Like some people say you said the don't
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: hang out with your single friends. You talk to married
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: couples that's been in that situation.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: And you know why that's true because folks who have
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: been married ten, fifty, twenty years, they've been through the trenches,
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: so they're not gonna teach you how to be happy.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: We got that single sist, we got that I've had
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all married,
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: you know that, let's not play this game. You married,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: you know that you got of course, Marri, I think
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: marriage is beautiful, it's popping. It's where everybody wants to land.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Why would you not want a partnership and a companion
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: your go to But that shit comes with work. The
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: Bible says marriage is for disciplined people discipline. I'm single.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: I don't have to be disciplined. Even though I am,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: I don't have to be in that space.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: You think people get married too early.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I think people choose the wrong people. I think people
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: choose their fairy to ideology. They're not choosing the person. See,
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage,
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: you get the title, you get the looks of it,
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: but you're not getting a person. So you're a beautiful
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: house who's homeless. You're like the idea of the idea
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: did And those are people who are fatherless sometimes motherless,
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: who just need something to be a part of. I
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: just need this companionship. I want the title. I don't
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: feel value. I don't for validated. So because we're married,
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: I got somebody who's checking for me. I got somebody
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: who can get me to the day. But you got
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: to be able to check even in marriage. I was
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: engaged for ten years, you know, because I kept calling
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: it off, calling it off, and he was like, you
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: keep getting these degrees. You keep saying, wait for the
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: next degree where you get married, and my time, I
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: want to get my doctor. He's like, baby, you done
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: got four degrees. Engage. You know. I can't putting it
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: off because I knew that that wasn't my person. And
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: I ended up leaving. I ended up leaving him, you know,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: unfortunate for him ten years.
• 33:43
  Speaker 6: And she said he was a great guy, great guy.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right,
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: And so for ten years he thought he was the
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: guy along for ten year while let him be great
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: with somebody else that would appreciate him and love him.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: I love that question. I love the question. So I'm
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: I'm saying for ten years, I knew he wasn't the one.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: When we got about your number five or six, and
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: I seen that his work ethic and his ability to
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: provide at the level that I wanted our family to
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: be at. I knew that he wasn't mine my guy.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: he was making six figures and I was like, now
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: make millions. I'm saying. His thing was, baby, I'm cool
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: with me. You a dog in a one bajem apartment
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: and just no work ethic at all. So for the
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: first six years, I thought, while I'm out here getting it.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: I have a legal company, you know, I own property.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: I'm only twenty two, I'm getting all these college degrees.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: How can he not be inspired by me? See that's
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: that age appropriate young woman. He got potential. Let me stay.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: That's why people should take their time. But when I
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: seen your number seven and eight, this guy was the
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: same guy who was You know, I hate talking because
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: he's such a good guy. I always protect him when
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: I talk about him. But where he was lazy and
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: he had no work ethic, I had a pivot. I
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: had a pivot.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: He didn't work that you wanted because he worked right,
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: but he just didn't.
• 34:57
  Speaker 7: He was he was comfortable that your ideas were different.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: At some point he just decided to not work at all.
• 35:03
  Speaker 7: He just said he had a mixed ape.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: He started off in pharmaceutical cells, a very educated young man,
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: went to BYU D One college, did his same, very
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: much like the boy next door. Mixed kid, and you know,
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: and so it was all really good. Came from a
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: really amazing family. Parents still married. I think they're on
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: like forty five years.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: You just want more.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: I wanted more. And if he would have said we
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: can have more and girl, I would have rolled with him.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: But when he said I don't want anymore and I'm
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: cool with this, it goes to your question. Then I
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: had to choose what I was choosing. I was choosing
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: a man. I wasn't choosing marriage. I didn't grow up
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: the little girl that wanted marriage in this white pick offense.
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: I wanted just to be honest. I wanted money and
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: power to change a trajectory of a community. I wanted
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: a platform to be able to shift people so they
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: have a better life, so they can take their pain
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: like I did and find some peace out of it
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: and make peace from the broken pieces. So I never
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: grew up thinking. I just And I also had a father.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: I had a daddy who doted on me. I'm a
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: product of a street dude. And if anyone knows the
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: street dude, the way they love their daughters when they're involved,
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: your god, Your God is to them, your princess. I mean,
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: I didn't have man problems like that, and so I
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: didn't wasn't looking for a man outside to convalidate me.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: So when I get in relationships, till to this day,
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: I'm still choosing the man.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Did he acquire more in the future.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: No, he's still in the same place. So I made
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: the right decision.
• 36:29
  Speaker 5: What was the conversation that last conversation y'all had when
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: you decided to leave him?
• 36:34
  Speaker 7: And how did he reacts the.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Dog?
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: No? He he was in tears and I was in tears.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: We were sitting there crying, and he said, he said,
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I knew it. I was a buffer for you. He
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: said I was a buffer for you. He said, I
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: just knew it. And he said, you're with me because
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: you're too insecure to be with who you really want
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: to be with a type of guy, not a particular guy,
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: but the type of guy. I said, you're right, You're right,
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: And as years went on, that was some of the
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: best advice that I was able to acquire because I
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: was able to work on myself and he was right.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Because the type of man that I now date, with
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: that alpha and this, with that leadership, the space that
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: he needs so he can even be with me right
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: is a different type of space, a different type of woman.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: So I had to shift, not change shifts a lot
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: of things in me that had to do with insecurity,
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: because my mom being in her addiction creating abandonment in me.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: I had attachment anxiety. And so when you're you know,
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: in order to have a man who's doing well, who's successful,
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: and he's in his alpha, the healthy alpha, that man
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: is moving and group and he's doing certain things, he
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: don't have time for a woman with no damn attachment anxiety.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: Meaning when he's making moves to better this household and
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: he's making moves to bear this family. I got to
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: be able to be solid and vertical in myself and
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: who I am to hold the house down. I can't
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: be insecure when he's traveling or doing things or he's
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: not right up under me. I had to work through
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: that attachment anxiety.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: A couple of questions right, like one, I want to
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: know what is your definition of a high value man.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: That's more.
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: And then too, what you said about attachment and anxiety.
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: Is it okay for the woman to feel insecure if
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: she knows this man ain't really out here doing.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's called discernment. Call him out on that, and
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: I mean transparency. What's up? I'm feeling some type of way.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: What's going on? What are you doing? I'm feeling this way.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: And I just think two respectful people who are choosing
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: each other and not just the relationship, are going to
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: have those conversations. And that's what those older couples who've
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: been married twenty thirty years is teaching you. How you
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: have those conversations? And Baby, when your man tell you
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: he out here turning corners, he not really turning bills,
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: how do you stick through that? How do you stay
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: without losing your dignity? How do you still be to
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: submit to this man, cooking and cleaning and having sex,
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: making love to this man without being disgusted at the
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: fact that he's either stepped out emotionally, physically or mentally.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: How do you keep that? How do you keep going?
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: I was gonna act, that was gonna be That's.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: What the older folks say. They don't tell you how
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: to be happy and be They telling you how to
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: roll through and stick through some ship. That's what they're
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: teaching you.
• 39:04
  Speaker 8: Well, my grandfather was like, lead that bitch, yeah, because
• 39:09
  Speaker 8: he that's how I be like back.
• 39:11
  Speaker 6: In the day that he was still with, you know,
• 39:15
  Speaker 6: my grandmother.
• 39:15
  Speaker 8: But he just still was just like, man, like leave
• 39:18
  Speaker 8: that bitch now, because I would have left this bitch
• 39:21
  Speaker 8: back in the.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: Day, Grandpa, because I've been leaving. But now now I
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: say I'm in my choosing stage and I'm really looking
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: forward to staying. But it will be my first time
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: utilizing a lot of my new tools. Not new meaning
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: a year ago, but you knew because I've been seeing
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: six years of this attachment anxiety how to work through
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: of what that looks like. So there's gonna be things
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: in me that are new that inflame and trigger that.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have to have a hell of a
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: man who's mature enough, emostly intelligent enough to sit through
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: certain conversations with me that are going to be transparent.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: So what is a high value because I heard you
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: reference cam is a high value man with a.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: Low value I guess just a low vibrational fund.
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: So what is your definition of the high value because
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: to me, it just sounds like high value to you
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: is like superficial stuff.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: High value just means that you're, yeah, it's pretty much
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: like you're you're making a lot of money, you have
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: a lot of tangible things, your high value value, your
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: value is high, and your monetary value values high. Meaning
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: you know, you got a man who's making one hundred
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: million dollars, then he's high value in women who are superficial.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: But I'm not knocking y'all say it's okay, are very
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: attracted to that, But again, are they choosing the man
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: or are they choosing the value?
• 40:29
  Speaker 6: The value?
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: But some people are so poor all they got is money,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: and so you know what I mean.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: And that goes to where this is going to be
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: a very very unpopular opinion or very popular, but it's
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: going to cause a lot of controversy. I always say,
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: if you realize the most prettiest beautiful woman, many of
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: them men have put a baby in him, but they't
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: made a wife out of him. And I go to
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: the high value men have put babies in him, but
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: ain't made a wife out of him. Because those women
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: are choosing the value in them, and those men are
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: choosing the low functionality in her, So that's a matchmade
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: in heaven for them. Even though the fairytale ends at
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: some point and everybody goes back to the drawing board
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: and comes into my session and says, because I can
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: now theset, I can now might have some very very
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: ales celebrity women who come in and say, I'm beautiful,
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: I'm successful, I can have any man I want. I'm
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: lonely as hell, and I'm afraid that I'm gonna die alone.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: But you have a child, You've been married to this
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: a list big NBA player, and the relationship is now over,
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: and you feel like you're going to be alone because
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: you never learned to choose anything of substance, so you
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: will hollow the whole time. So you're not afraid of
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: being alone physically, you're afraid of being alone emotionally because
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: you've been alone this whole time. So you don't even
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: have a relationship with yourself. So who you really don't
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: want to be with is you?
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: So why should we call alone?
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: It's about being with you?
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: So why should we call those brothers high value?
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: Then? Because value based on how I define it it's
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: just money. Like I'm a high out you to woman. Right,
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: I have a MultiMate dollar home. I come from the hood.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: I want from the hood to the heills. But I've
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: accumulated a lot of value. Right. I drive luxury cars.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: I have a certain lifestyle. But I would be low
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: functioning if I pray it on men that I know
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: I can use. If I pray it on men that
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: I know, I can say, eat, sleep and put me
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: and shut up while I go run a monk. Be
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: in your beta. Because I said so, that's low functioning
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: of me. High value and high functioning would be. Now,
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: I want a man who can stand on he got
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: he's vertical because every human being is a hybrid. We're
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: all high functioning and low functioning. So there's gonna be
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: moments while I get in my low functioning, and if
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: I get in my low functioning and I start to
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: say things that are emasculating to you, I don't want
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: a low functioning man. I want you to say, baby,
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: I don't talk to you like that, and I don't
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: like when you talk to me like that. I'm not
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: gonna leave you, but we gotta work on this because
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: I'm not some nothing else, nigga. If you know and
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: I love you and I respect you, so let's work
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: through this.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: Well, if you got a high value man, he got
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: all the money, he might even be an alpha with
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: a big little and he trash in bad So then
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: what because henderstand?
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Because you can't.
• 43:08
  Speaker 7: Because you ain't gonna let him talk to.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: You in your kind of ways.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: You ain't gonna let him talk you in your kind
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: of way. That's what I'm saying. You can be the
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: output at let.
• 43:18
  Speaker 7: Him talk to you any kind of way.
• 43:19
  Speaker 8: That mouth go crazy.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: If I had to choose between a little pito okay
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: in my Spanish speaking language, little pet the little pens
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: and a family hell of a good man, take give
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: me the little dick and a good man. Because remember,
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: I'm choosing the man. I'm not choosing these these ornaments.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: And I know and I'm this is the thing. Men
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: don't understand this. A woman just needs a big dick
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: when you don't know how to truly love and connect
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: with you. Once we love you and connect with you,
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: we love, and we when we love, we love, especially
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: black women. When we love, we love, we're figuring out
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: how to work with that little thing. You got wet
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: like we when we love you, we love you and
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: we figure out how to make it do what to do?
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: You got women who are with men who got little
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: penises and pay noobile because she love him. Now that's
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: not DOC approved. But that's not DOC approved. But so
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: for me, I don't want I'm not manifesting God the
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: little Pizzo type thing. But I'm saying, you know, if
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: it yeah, and this is this is probably gonna be
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: tm I. But I always joke about with my best
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: friend Lola, and my assistant always say, girl, I'm not
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: the woman who needs a big old penis me either.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Wait a minute, Jeff, but I said, why does God
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: always send me the mee go ahead?
• 44:52
  Speaker 7: That's right, and that got to be inclusive.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: But I want to I want to ask you about
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: some some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Holmes said some some things about you, about not having
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: your degree and where you started off all as a
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: I guess working in the strip club is any of
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: that stuff? So you're not a real doctor, he said, yeah,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: you're not a real doctor.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: No. So I have four degrees, three are in psychology,
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: ones and Pan African studies. My doctor degree is in
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: counsel psychology. My master's the Marriage I my Child Therapy.
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: All degrees are in psychology. Where this Corey Holkoing thing
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: comes from is we did. I was on a show
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: ten years ago when I actually I think it was
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: before I even had my doctor degree. And Corey is
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: used to being able to be very disrespectful to women
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: and doing things. He was a guest on the show.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: I was co hosted. He was a guest, and I
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: drill dis asked to be honest, it's on YouTube, people,
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: could you know look at it? And I cut into
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: him and I said, you seem like you are inferior
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: to white man, and you seem like you got daddy issues,
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: and you seem like you got mommy issues, and you
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: got kids that don't even talk to you or respect you,
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: they don't like you. It tell us a lot about
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: your character. This was ten years ago, okay, And obviously
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: he's still in his feminine because he's still holding a
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: grudge over it. You know, this is like interviews are interviews?
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: Are you saying you're doing? And you move on to
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: the next And so was very upset and I feel
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: like that in that space he was y'all could watch it.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: He was done found it like usually he comes back
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: with the you know, fu b or he has something
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: to say. Ory's you know, he got a mouth. He
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: was really just like, you know, a deer with headlights.
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: He was just like, oh my god. The interviewer, the
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: person's podcast was on. Everybody else is in there was like,
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: We've never seen Corey be this quiet. We've never seen
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: anybody be able to respectfully check him in this way.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: After we were done with the interview, we went to
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: take a big picture on the backsplash and I would
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: walk up toward him. You know my personality, I'm very playful.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: I walked up and I'm like, let's take a picture.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: He wanted to fail in the picture. Ten years later.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: I think he looked at it with his fail comedian
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: career because he's been attempting his career for about forty
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: five or so years. With the sale comedian career, his
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: failed marriage. And I'm not saying this to be mean,
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: y'all can just research it his true and his fel
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: parenting skills with his kids because none of those people
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: deal with him. Yeah, I think he looked at it
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: like there's I get to kill two birds of one stone,
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: which was smart. I get to humiliate her back in
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: some kind of way, which it didn't work, and or
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: I get to ride on her back because she's going viral.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: I don't have a career. I do. He doesn't have
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: a career.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: So you guys, you a comedy career.
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: He does stand up me just stays in fifty one
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: fifty other big podcast and he does stand up.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: Well, what do you know yet? What? Thank you? We're back.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: She got a good career, but it knows to be back.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: So the point is I think that he did. And
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: at this part I'm not knocking in for he did
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: what any to meet career oriented business person was supposed
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: to do. I see an opportunity, let me take it,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: let me create a narrative. But what happened was all
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: it did was bring more tation to damned doctor Bryant.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: So all people did was research me more, which is
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: what I wanted them to do. All people did was
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: find out for themselves. She is a real doctor. She
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: has these degrees. She's been doing this for a long time.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: This woman started off from teen Mom A Family Reunion,
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: which we were the biggest show on MTV. She not
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: only was the camera life coach doctor for that show,
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: she co produced it and developed the show. So what
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: happened was he brought attention to where people were able
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: to go in and do what I want them to do,
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: which is research more of me, get more background on me,
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: and say hey, let me make my own opinion about her.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: And again, you know, as my really good friend Shaquillo O,
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: and Neil says, which is one of my you know,
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: we've become pretty much like best friends. Now. He's like Doc,
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: He's like, you know, he says as I hate when
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: he says it, but I love it. He goes, Doc,
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: trust from babies, don't give attention to the ones who
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: have nothing, he goes, So let the good and bad
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: attention do what it does for you. Let it do
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: what it does. And I'm not a trust from baby.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: But what Shaqa is saying is when you hear and
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: they hear, all it does is magnify you. Right, the
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: small dog has to stay in the small dog park.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: They're just not allowing the big dog park. The big
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: dogs can go to the small dog park and we
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: dominate either way.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: Would you have a compisation recording now like you going
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: fifty on fifty or have them on truth Talk.
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: I would not only because Corey's and I'm only talking
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: about this on here because when I did Nick and
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: other interviews and other other places I've interviewed with who
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: are also, you know, as big as Breafast Club? Well,
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: who's bigger than Breakfast Club? Though, y'all got it? But
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: I also told them I said, I'm not I'm not
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: going to address him period. I don't want to bring
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: any attention to him or give him the fume that
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: he needs, because, again, Charlottete, I hear what you're saying.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: But he has a total failed career, a total felt,
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: total fail career as a comedian. Is he funny? There
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: are some things he says, yes, that are funny. Has
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: he made it to any place past a podcast of
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: a group of men who agree with just a rhetoric
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: that's just a very negative, distorted narrative of black people
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: in general, especially woman. Kevin Samuels spent only two years
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: doing what Corey does and had a better career than Corey.
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: Corey been doing it for forty fifty years. He was
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: at improv in LA and can't even get a job there.
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: So that doesn't go to his comedic abilities. That goes
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: to his lack of character. Nobody wanting to work with you.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: You have gifts and you have professionalism. You gotta have
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: both to make it.
• 50:11
  Speaker 8: Corey is just a broken person, period, and I do
• 50:13
  Speaker 8: feel like you'll need help.
• 50:15
  Speaker 6: He needs help.
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: Coreys off camera. If Corey came and said, doc, let's
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: do off camera sessions, if he wants to do it
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: on camera, because it's just going to be a rhetoric,
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing that to help his career. I will
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: help him as a man, but I'm not here to
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: help him in his career. That's his job. I'm not
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: here to carry a man that ain't minds or float
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: a man that ain't mind, but to help you with
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: your mental health or help you as a person. He's
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: an alcoholic, he drinks a lot. You know, he's he's
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: over compensating. Those areas, those are places he needs help with.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: Did you guys see what he looked like on Cam
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: Newton interview. I'm not talking about looks many attractiveness. Do
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: you see how unwell hygienically clean he looks? And say, no,
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: this ties into mental health.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: You know that.
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: But health. Right, you run you ran up actually an
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: amazing organized mental wealth experts.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: It will think I was so honored and privileged to
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: be that. It was an amazing But I want to
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: say thank you that we know that keeping up your
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: hygiene is one of the number one symptoms to depression.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: The number one way you're able to see that somebody's
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: depressed or in their addiction or over compensating and addicted
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: behaviors is how they keep themself up. That's how parents
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: could look at their kids and be like, you're not bathing,
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: your hygiene is not up to par. What's going on?
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: That man's hygiene was on negative two hundred. What I'm
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: fifty one fifty to bring him a bigger audience. He
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: can sal to fifty one fifty, but he needs to
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: be able to fifty one fifty himself and get the
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: help that he needs.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: Lord doctor was talking.
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: You were talking earlier about growing up in the wrong
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: and vib and you learn what not to do. And
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: I think that is difficult for a lot of parents,
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: right because, like I always say, my father raised me
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: out of fear and not love. Because he didn't want
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: me to make the same mistakes that he may growing
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: up in the same environment. Right, So what would you
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: say to you know, parents who are who are navigating that,
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: like who have kids? You know y'all are they're in
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: the same environment that you grew up in and you
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: want them to get out of it, but you weren't
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: even able to navigate.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: Through it yourself.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that again, seeking wise counsel. I think
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: that therapy coaching should be a lifestyle. It shouldn't be
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: something that someone does for preventitive or intervention measures. And
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: I think that parents need to just be one hundred
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: and transparent with their kids. I think they need to say, listen,
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: this is my first time doing you, raising you, knowing you.
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: I've I've never known a fifteen year old you, So
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know what to do here, you know what
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: I mean. Let's sit down a dialogue. Can you use
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: some of your critical thinking skills? Do you have resources
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: at your school? Help? Let me help you. Let's do this.
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: I think the transparency of it is what allows kids
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: to be vertical on who they are. I think that
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: handing them everything, problems solving for them and doing everything
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: for them, especially men. It handicaps y'all. So when you
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: have to be the head, you now have a mother
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: who taught you how to be the neck, and then
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: you want to be mad at a woman who comes
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: in and she has to be in her alpha, because
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: who the hell is going to be the head to
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: this thing? So I think it's about transparency. And I
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: think parents got to stop having this mommy daddy guilt
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: and stop feeling like they have to be this perfect parent.
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: I think your kids seeing your vulnerability and your imperfections
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: will actually aid them in ways more than them seeing
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: your perfection.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: You think kids are too soft.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: I think parents are too soft and kids are too
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: soft these days. Yeah, the Bible says an undisciplined child
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: is an unloved child. I think kids are feeling unloved
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: because they're not being disciplined.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: What is too soft for you? Now?
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: And the reason I asked is, like Charlamage said, you know,
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: there were certain things. I mean, my kids can't do
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: it anyway, but there was certain things that you can
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: do and you couldn't do right. And I run the
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: household the same way, right. But if you look at
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: these kids now, a lot of them are a lot softer,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: a lot weaker, cry faster. You hear depression, you hear
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: a lot of triggering words that I don't even think
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: that they know what they're saying. They just see it
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: because they see it on TV or they heard somebody
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: say it online. But also people will say that the
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: reason that these kids like that because parents can't par
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: in anymore, because if they yell at their child, if
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: they pop a child, or if they do anything that
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: their parents did to them, accept abuse, they will be
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: told on to the school and CPS.
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: Will be at their door. So listen, My grandmother whooped
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: my ass and I call the police while I was
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: down nine. She put one on one and told them
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: when they got there, I'll whooped her ass if you
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: take me to y'all gonna come home and I'm gonna
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: beat her ass again. So whatever you're gonna do, let's
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: do it. And I would never take away her discipline.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: That's how I know she Well, you know how, First
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: of all, I'm not even a mama. I'm the oldest
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: of seven. I got about nahnies of the nephews. Do
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: you know how much energy it takes? Well, y'all have
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: kids to discipline a child, to watch them to see
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: when they're doing right or wrong. The love part is
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: the time it takes to even watch to see what
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: I'm doing to discipline me. So a lot of parents,
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: to me, this gentle parenting is just called lazy parenting.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: That means I'm not in the mood to parents. I
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: got things I'm trying to do. I'm trying to figure
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: my life out, or I'm a single parent, I'm trying
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: to date, or I'm trying to get a sense of self,
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: so I don't even have time or energy to deal
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: with disciplining.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: You.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: I think that's more of what it's about. And no,
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: it does not work. These kids have no guidance. They're
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: a very lost generation. I mean, I'm gonna go there.
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: You look at the campaign this year. You know, all
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: due respect to says Kamala. She threw a concert and
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: I like Meg and I like I love Glorilla. She
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: threw a concert with Meg and Glorilla, thinking that that
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: was going to move an influence our community to vote
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: for her. You think that we're that low functioning that
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: you cannot talk politics to us and legislation to us
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: for us to choose you based on leadership, that we're
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: gonna choose you based on who's dropping it like it's
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: hot or who's bringing in a concert.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: I agree with that.
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: I said that, you know, I would rather just had
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: Megan up there talking about women's rights, women's reproductive the
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: way card.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Fantastic and Cardi's are.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: But Cardi been talking politics for YETI would come on
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: there with no wig care everywhere and all this she
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: fucked up, and then we're running whole bill that she
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: could just author and try to pull into legislation. So
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying is this, this camp, This whole election
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: showed you the level of where our kids are, and
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, really, but it also showed you it didn't work.
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: It didn't work.
• 56:53
  Speaker 5: I saw you said too that you're comment on the
• 56:55
  Speaker 5: fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: she didn't win, speak to that and speak to the
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: common because we were upset about.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care.
• 57:07
  Speaker 6: She proved why the people.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: Men and women who are not ready for a woman
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: president are not ready for a women president because society
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: and some men, not all, deem women as emotionally unstable
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: and unable to regulate our emotions since when you knew
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: you weren't winning or weren't in the lead. And these kids,
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: these babies, these adults were at a historical black university
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: that you went to, Howard waiting hours for you. They
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: had volunteered. I'm sure they had to contributed, and they
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: probably voted for you and supported you this entire time.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you.
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: That's proven to the people who don't believe women could
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: emotions enough to come out and take an ail. I
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: don't care if she would have came out in tears. Listen,
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry we lost, whatever that looks like. And this husband, listen,
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: I'll give.
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: A little pushback on that because Donald Trump never gave
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: a concession speech, nor would he even admit that he lost.
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: Listen. And I'm not in support of Donald Trump. But
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: Donald Trump didn't need to come out because he never conceded.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: He also stood a tin toe down and said, y'all,
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: which I'm not saying I agree with this, y'all rigged it.
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: I won. I'm not conceding. He still got the keys.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: To the White House, but he didn't come to his
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: people even when they when that night, he never came out.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: And that was when he lost to Jobidy. He never
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: came out. That's what I just said.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: But she said he didn't come out. But he didn't
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: come out at all to speak to this peace.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: I just said.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: But we're talking about Trump, who runs on being that
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: type of person. So his people never expected that. Just
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: on that. Trump is talking about getting rid of the
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: U I D E. I. He has said that. Kamala
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: came out and showed us all this love and support
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: after she said I can't do just something for the
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: black community. But on the day that I get into office,
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna sign my very first bill that's called immigrant reform.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: That's doing something for a group of people. Now I'm
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: black in Hispanic, so I ain't got a problem against immigrants.
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: But what I'm saying is, if you can't do something
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: for one group of people, my love, that's one group
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: of people, and let me move for it. But when
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: you took the l let me add to that. Not
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: only did you not come out, you sent a man
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: to come out and address these people. He was fine too.
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: You sent a man, isn't he I don't be married,
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: but that man was handsome. I sent a man to
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: come out and address the people. You didn't even send
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: another woman or a black woman. This was a woman's moment,
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: and that's what she made it. Black and woman. You
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: sent a man to do a woman's job, and in
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: my opinion, that all that did was tell the folks
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: who said women can't lead, see she sent a man
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: out to do it, and then came out the next
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: day and said, Okay, I'm gonna have this. That's not leadership.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: To me, leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: you said you would Doe regards of how you feel,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: I don't care how you felt. Kamala, come out and
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: address us. Those kids left what they had down. They
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: weren't sad just because she lost. They were sad because
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: they were looking for who was still their leader, whether
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: she lost or not. To come out and address those kids,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: that's wrong. That's just out of pocket. That's not leadership.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: And you got to have a backbone. So I mean,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: either I still supported her, I voted for her, but
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: I didn't see the leadership in her from the beginning,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: but I was rooting for her. I wanted sister to
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: show different. But when she didn't show up for that,
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: I said, this is it. You know, maybe I'll run
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: in four years and I'll run black and women, and
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: I'll run all these ways. And I'm you know, very
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: lovingly criticizing Kamala for and maybe when I win, you know,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: y'all will say, well, of course you came out Doc
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: because you won.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 7: He is married too. I looked it up for you,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 7: sister personally.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, yeah, okay. We grew up in La.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: Everyone and everyone in LA, and that's how you know
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: in La we know each other. Yeah, unless she in
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: the eighties eighties kids.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, when's the last time you apologize
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: or last time you were wrong about something?
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: You remember?
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: Good question? It probably no, probably was, no, It probably
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: was to my best friend Lola and my assistant. We
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: work so closely together, We're always together. And because I'm
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: so comfortable with her, she gets all of my moving
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: parts right. So she gets like the really good mes,
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: she gets like the Braddy meats, she gets the what
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: the fuck are you doing? You're moving too slow? Me
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: you know, she gets the thank you me and then
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: she gets to like, you know, I'm sorry, you're right
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: that was a little brash or you know, so probably
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: her to be honest with me, what.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 7: About to me and that you're dating.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 5: They never get an apology, I actually though, because you
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 5: are very strong in opinion and stuff like that. And
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: I think men think that women that are structured like
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 5: you don't know how to be accountable and don't know
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 5: how to apologize.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: I'm very accountable. I do apologize, and that's why I said,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: I want a man who will say with respect and me.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: He ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass uptight.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: You know. He can be disrespectful. But I want a
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: man who's like, hold on you out of pocket right now,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: you know, like we don't do that. This is not
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: what we do. And I like you strong, but this
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: is not strong. This is disrespectful, baby. But I want
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: him to be able to know how to say it,
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: and then I will be like, you know, even if
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: it's not in that moment, I can process and be like,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: you know what, you're right, and I do. I will apologize.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: I will come to myself because I have the discipline
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: of that self talk of saying stop you know, or
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: I will say, listen, you've already apologized, You've done everything
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: you could right now. It's not a youth problem. I'm
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: still trying to get out of my ego. So just
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: give me thirty minutes, because baby, you've apologize like you
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: do on your job. And then I come around in
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: twenty thirty minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back and
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry too.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: That's awareness, that's acountability.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: And the thing is when you really want peace, and
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: that's the thing about being single for so long though.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 7: I can, yes, you find it, you figure it out,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 7: you find.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: A piece and enjoy that. When you do get in
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: a relationship, you gotta make sense. And when you do
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: get a relationship, though, you're really saying, let's deaden this,
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: let's deadness argument, because see, I'm so used to being
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: happy because it's just me that I just want to
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: get to the cuddle part again. I just want to
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: get to the happy part again. So what do we
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: need to do just to be good? And people who
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: are so used to being in relationships with this circle
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: dysfunction of argument, they leave that marriage and do the
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: same thing.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 5: Have you ever got afraid that you're going to get
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 5: so used to that piece that you're not gonna want
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 5: to do nothing? Because I tell myself the other time,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 5: like I'm in such a good state, I don't want
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 5: nothing to bother me.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: But no, because I have been I have been serial
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: dating for the six years I've been single. So when
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: I say single, it means I haven't been committed but committed.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: But have I had like three months six months relationships
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: that went that long season or word exclusive and we're
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: committed in that season because I am very into exclusivity.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: I don't like casual sex, and so I will accidentally
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: go a year, year and a half celiban because I
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: don't like the casualty of sex, you know what I mean?
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: And so yeah, no, So I'm dating like I mean,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: like I have someone that I spend time with now
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: that I will go on dates with. We're not committed,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: So I'm still single, but I'm a woman who I'm
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna have a companion around. I love
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: companionship and I love a man's energy. That tassostron, that
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: alpha energy is recharging for me. And it's not something
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: that I would just say like, oh I could do without. No,
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: I want it. I love it, and so I keep
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: around what I want and when I decide to, I
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: would choose that one person to be around for the
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: long term.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 7: Well, when does that decision happen for you?
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: Now, I'm in my choosing stage, so it's gonna happen
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: now soon. I'm in my choosing stage. But but I'm
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: not I'm not desperate, so it's not like again, I'm
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: not choosing just a high valued man. I'll even take
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: a man who's a little less value, meaning a little
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: less income money. But I just love this man. He's
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: my person.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: So you would take the bus driver.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: I don't, well, only know because he's away from me
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: for too long and he's coming home with money that's
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: not worth the value of the time. I'm not getting
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: with you.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: What if he's a good man?
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: I guess That's why I'm confused about what the high
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: value man think, because I'm like, I understand he got
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 4: the bank, but what if he's just got a poor spirit.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: What if he got a poor character. What if he's
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: not willing to do the work on him.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: Stuff like That's why I'll take little less value in
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: higher functioning, Like I don't want high value, little functioning.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: I'll take a little less value, right because I do
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: well on my own. Am I going to take care
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: of a man? No? Am I gonna spoil the hell
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: out of him? Hell? Yeah, But I'm not gonna take
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: care of you. But will I go? Will I take
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: you on a trip because you mind's? Yeah? What I
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: buy you a brand new car when you come home?
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: And this is the lambel you wanted? Hell yet? But
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: are you going to be a man who is not
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: submitting to me either? Or can't be in your outf
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: or you ain't paying no bills, or you're not respecting me,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: you're not coming to support my shows, You're not on
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: my speaking towards. No, I'm not doing it with a
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: man who's not doing those things. But do I need
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 3: you to just take full car of me? And then
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: I still got my hand out? No, I'm submitting to you.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: You're have in house loving. I'm not gonna deny that.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: Whatever I gotta do, I got you. I did that
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 3: in relationships, and that's why the men I've been with
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 3: are the men I've dated also have always wanted to
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: marry me because I'm a good woman. I treat them
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: that I'm loving, but also because I'm not choosing a
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 3: man just for their value. I want you to have money.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: I want to go to Mauthey's. I want a trip.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: I want you to buy me a Burkin. Not because
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: I want a Burken, It's because I want it from you, right,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: And so the Burken or the Louis or whatever the
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: hell coming from you is what I plays value in.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 3: And that's what makes me love the bad That's what
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: makes me love the iPhone because you bought the iPhone
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: for me. Yeah right, so yeah, yeah, I mean he could. Yeah,
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 3: so I would, and I would regular rather have a
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: regular man who isn't in the limelight, who we both
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: don't have to straddle this this whole industry thing, and
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: he can go run a business or go be a
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 3: corporate guy. He can come to my shows and we
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 3: can go home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: go home and put my hair in a in a
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: bird's nest and walk around with sweats and a tank
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: top and no brawl. He is always so you got
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 3: the show.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 6: Truth talks.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: I do truth talks before we get out of here.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: Truth talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: It's Monday through Friday.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 7: Eight To give you a.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: Sometimes the producers are like, Doc, you know, give the
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: other co hold time to talk. I'm like, I gotta
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: do that, But it's cool. We're pretty much we're a
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: global news. We're a CNN that gives you the black voice,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: the black perspective, and we're bringing truth to everything news
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: with culture uh twist to it. So we're every night
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: eight pm prime Time. Love that follow follow me on Underscore,
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: doctor Brian on Instagram social media, or you can go
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: to doctor Brian dot com and that's doctor Brian dot
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: coeo not dot com. And then I'm on my speaking tour.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: So every weekend I am on the tour with Tonight's Conversation,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 3: but I'm also on my own speaking tour. So every
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: weekend go to my website of my social media, You'll
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: see that I'm with Tonight's Conversation for the rest of
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: this year, but i also have my own speaking tour
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: in Chicago. We got Atlanta, we got l A, we
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: got London, we got Canada, we have Iowa. I'm like,
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: I'm like, y'all are black people Iowa?
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 6: That's when I be on my comedy, so like who
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 6: was in Wisconsin?
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: Two people in Iowa who are black, whose lives I
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: can shift are changed. The doc is on her way
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: with the doc is on her way. We're gonna do it. Yeah,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: that's doctor.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: We appreciate you.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 3: I am thank you all for having us, but no, Charlotman, seriously,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 3: thank you for being such an advocate this whole mental health.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: It's not an event you you have a mental health
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: movement going on. When I came there, people, I mean
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: to see black people, black men with like mental health
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: for black people, a black man for mental health and
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: mental health is life changed. They had like merch with
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: everything mental health black and even though it's for all
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: races and our ages, your panelists there were just giving
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: incredible information. People were sitting there intrigued, entertained, but more
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: than that, people were leaving with gyms that they were
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: really like, Yo, this event is powerful, So thank you
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 3: for having that.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 4: I needed you there, like when you were like top
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 4: of the lism like doctor Brian got to be there.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: So I'm happy that we can make that happen.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: You have.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: Thank It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, Thank you. Wake
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club