Latest / Zen Community of Oregon Dharma Talks / What the River Says: on Vocation and Calling- Hogen, Roshi

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What the River Says: on Vocation and Calling- Hogen, Roshi · Zen Community of Oregon Dharma Talks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome. This is the Zen Community of Oregon, making the teachings of the Buddhadharma accessible to support your practice. New episodes air every week.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Morning, everyone. Just seeing who's here because every every talk is shaped by who is present. People bring things out of you when you're talking. So what I was anticipating talking about today and I'm going to is about vocation, calling. And partly it's reflections of my life and also reflections upon on the many lives that I've seen that have come through the monastery, many people.
• 1:29
  And we reflect reflect on vocation. Vocation means a calling. What is our calling? And we're not talking about a calling from some great voice in the sky. We're talking about a calling from of the heart.
• 1:40
  So we'll we'll kind of go with that theme for a little bit. Let me start off by a poem from William Stafford, Ask Me. And of course, he's talking about our life. Ask me. Sometime when the river is ice, ask me.
• 2:00
  Ask me mistakes I have made. Ask me what whether what I have done is my life. Ask me whether what I have done is my life. Others have come into their slow way into my thought and some have tried to help or to hurt. Ask me what the difference, their strongest love or hate has made.
• 2:22
  And I'll listen to what you say. You and I can turn and look at the silent river and wait. We can look at the silent River and wait. We know the current is there hidden and there are comings and goings from miles away that hold the stillness exactly before us. What the river says, that is what I say.
• 2:48
  So what is it that the current that is flowing in us? What is the current that's flowing through our life? Whether we're up here frozen, whether we don't know what's going on, whether we're confused, what is the what's the current that's in there? Now, well, you know, all of us have very busy lives, you know, eating and sleeping and working and our spiritual practice and perhaps even a little free time, But I think that that if we are in touch with the current, with the stream that's at the core of all these things and we're listening not out there but we're listening in a way in here. That touching that river of meaning, that river of aliveness, that river is a vital and is a is what I'm calling a calling, a vocation, a source.
• 4:09
  And when our our life comes out of that rather than is normally, you know, normally we talk about things coming from the outside in. Normally, when we go to school and we go to school and we learn a career and we get a job so we can support ourselves and so on and so forth. Great. Great. Good.
• 4:27
  Go for it. Get a job. But our culture starts from the outside in. Get the trappings. Make it look like this, you know, house, car, whatever.
• 4:40
  But the spiritual path turns it upside down. The spiritual path turns it upside down and said, what is the current? What am I called to in my own heart? And it is that current that gives life. So we can have jobs or tasks, we can have a daily grind, career calling, you know, whatever.
• 5:05
  But when we are seriously investigating and seriously looking at spiritual practice, it has the ability to to awaken, to enliven, to unfreeze the river and to transform this deep current to flow, to make it flow instead of being frozen in ice. And I think that there's a way we can transform a job, a career into something that's vital and alive and a gift to the universe. So calling in this sense is a calling, a vocation that is alive, that is vital. And something the universe has called us to do. Something is deeply fulfilling.
• 5:56
  So if we look at each of our lives, we look so differently. We are we have such different shapes, we have different kinds of heads, we have different kinds of minds, we have different kinds of fingers, we wear different clothing, we are so unique. Each person is so unique. And that very uniqueness, how we think and the way the things that we're called to do, that very uniqueness is part is part of the universe's asking, calling, wishing for us to step forward in the way the only way that we can. And when we talk about vocation, the calling in this sense, maybe it's childcare, maybe it's helping the elderly, maybe it's helping the sick, maybe it's being a leader in the community, maybe it's being a gardener or a farmer, you know, animal rescue, all kinds of things, it's limitless.
• 6:45
  The outer expression is completely dependent upon our view of the world and the the karmic conditions that create our world. When we are in touch, when we have done the hard work to be in touch with the the ever flowing life in our own hearts, And then we look at the world, we look at our circumstances, we look at the people and places and things, we look at the careers, we look at the the jobs, we look at the education, we look at all the stuff in our particular world which is unique and different in every single person. And when that inner inner life and our particular life come together, two arrows meeting in the air, a unique absolutely singular expression. Limitless. So the outer situation is shaped by our karma, you know, what we've educated ourselves with or family or whatever it has been.
• 7:52
  But the inner life is what the spiritual practice is about. The inner work is the foundation for creating a vital flowing stream for responding to the call of the particular universe makes to us a vocation. I started thinking about this partly because we had so many people who flow through here and who, you know, think of being at the monastery as a summer camp or being at the monastery as a a great way to spend an interesting educational vacation or an elder hostel or something of that that version. It's great. I'm happy that we can serve people in that way.
• 8:38
  I'm happy we have a beautiful place that people can come and enjoy themselves and relax and see see the beauty of the flowers or this brand new mat that we have in the center here. Amazing. From somebody who's bowed on it for decades. It's been it's been somebody revitalized it and changed it. It's lovely.
• 9:01
  But I'm I'm thinking about how many people who come through here who I touch regard their life as a as a vocation, as a calling, as a a something that is vital to be explored and discovered or they sort of say, yeah, well, summer camp, you know, it's like a cruise down the Rhine. Interesting. Lots of castles you can see, although I hear that the Rhine is in a drought right now, it is a low ebb and those cruises are being cancelled. What do I know? So how do we turn how do we how do we turn what's ordinary into what is extraordinary?
• 9:48
  How do we turn what is a wave, a flow, of course, all life is flowing, all life's changing, all life is going through, everybody's going to leave us, everybody's going to pass through, of course. That's just nature of things. But how do we give it meaning? And so here's the suggestion. Whether you want to be ordained or you want to become a barber or you want to become a mother or a pastor or whatever, you know, what what what's the steps?
• 10:20
  First step is stabilize the emotions. It is vital to stabilize the emotions. When our emotions are, you know, roiling, it's really hard to discern what's what's helpful. It's really hard to discern what to do. And so our first task is to stabilize the emotions.
• 10:41
  And how do we stabilize the emotions? You know, we've got our the first level is Oz in. We breathe, we are present, we are we're here, we actually pay attention to what is going on, we we see the the floor glowing. I don't know if you've noticed we have chosen has these magnificent orange things that are just radiating light and there's some of them on the altar. Can't see behind me, but they're around.
• 11:17
  So we stabilize the emotions by being present. The emotions get unstabilized when we're busy living a life that's already happened or we're worrying about a life that has not yet happened. We stabilize the emotions and that's not of course the end of practice, that's just the foundation. We stabilize the emotions by paying attention to the breath, we stabilize the emotions by not letting the mind go wild, we stabilize the emotions by by by giving emphasis to the present or whatever the chants say. We stabilize the emotions by again not living in our mind, which is worried about the future and past, but living in our bodies, which is here.
• 12:00
  Secondly, as the emotions are stabilized, as we are more and more anchored in the present moment, as you're more anchored right here right now, our minds become clear. A clear mind might be a spacious mind. A clear mind is a mind that is able to look at things without fog. And we all know what a foggy mind is like, we all know what a dense mind is like, you know, we wake up and we're we're in turmoil and we're worrying about all sorts of things and we just can't see. We can't Sometimes we can't do we can't do arithmetic.
• 12:40
  We can't do simple things because our mind is in turmoil. So as the body is stabilized, as the emotions are stabilized, the mind clears up. Good. It's a blessing. With a clear mind, all kinds of things are possible.
• 12:58
  With a cloudy, confused mind, we're limited to just our reactive our reactivity. So a clear mind is creative. A clear mind sees not just the the simple way things are but but sees the bigger view, able to hold a big view. Stabilize the emotions, be in the body, clear up the mind. We know what we need to do by being alert.
• 13:30
  You know? It is it is alertness itself is is the superpower. So in our particular unique life when we are alert, there are things that the next step is always apparent. Know, when when Clay is exploring this, know, next step is always apparent. You know?
• 13:53
  Mira responds however she responds. The next step is always apparent. If we're being present. The next step. Next step.
• 14:04
  So we clear the mind, we stabilize the emotions, stabilize the emotions, we live in the body, we clear the mind up and then we look at our life and try to be alert. Now, that's that's basic practice right there. And, when we're alert we begin to experiment and we try things out. You know, if you're if you're here we get to try all kinds of things out cooking and serving and computer stuff and being an artist and sewing and creating and being musician and counseling and administration and you know, sometimes even childcare, teaching. So with a clear mind, we then have to have to clarify ourselves what are our values, what's important to us, what's important to us in the in the world.
• 14:54
  Now, that is important on the relative level, but it's also important at the heart level. What is the what are the deepest most important values I hold in my heart? What's my heart's aspiration? What's my what what would I like to see blossom in my life in the next five years, ten years, assuming you're gonna live that long? And it is when we have clarified things, we are responding to the world as it is, we can we can look in, it's not a We can look inside and think what are my deepest values?
• 15:31
  Love, kindness, helping others, whatever they happen to be. What are the things in my heart that if I gave life to them and I gave gave breath to them that I would feel satisfied, that I would be happy that they they grew. It is in that level that we begin talking about a deep calling and a vocation. When the internal heart's aspiration and the circumstances of our life come together and we see opportunities in the circumstances of our life to give life to our life. The opportunities in the circumstances of our life to give life to our deep heart's aspiration.
• 16:19
  And that can be cooking, that can be gardening, that can be teaching, that can be elder care, that can be all kinds of different things to give life to our life. When we have a sense of that, that's great, but the future is always mysterious. Here's a poem from David White. It's called No Path. There is no path that goes all the way.
• 16:51
  There is no path that goes all the way. Not that it stops us looking for full continuation, the one line of the poem we can start and follow straight to the end, the fixed belief we can hold that saves us the trouble when facing a stranger of a real conversation. There's no path that goes all the way. The fixed beliefs that we can hold that saves us the trouble of a real conversation. But one day you're not just imagining an empty chair where your loved one sat, you're not just telling a story when the bridge is down, there's nowhere to cross.
• 17:33
  You're not trying to pray to a God you imagine would keep you safe. No one day, you've come to the place where nothing you've done will impress and nothing you can promise will avert the silent confrontation. The place where your body already seems to know, to know the way having kept to the last its own secret reconnaissance. But still there's no path that goes all the way. One conversation leads to another conversation, one breath to the next until there's no breath at all.
• 18:14
  Just the inevitable finally release of the burden. And then your life will have to start all over again. For you to know even a little of who you have been. And then your life will have to start all over again for you to know even a little of who you had been. There is no path.
• 18:39
  So we feel deeply our heart's aspiration. We look at our life and we don't know what to do. We do the next step, the next breath, but there is something that in the midst of that not knowing, in the midst of future is always unknown, always unknown, always gonna be different than we think it is, always. It's just the way things are, it's not profound, just the way things are. And yet, there is a stepping into that unknown that comes from the vow of the heart, stepping into that unknown that comes from the heart's aspiration, stepping into that unknown in accordance with our particular life and our karma, stepping into that unknown where we don't know what's going to happen and yet we are willing to take that step and to grow that vow, and to grow that life, and to put with determination and fervor to give meaning to our life.
• 19:47
  In a way, there is no way, there's no easy way to do this. That's why this I think this is a the way I'm talking about here is a deep spiritual practice. We have to calm the emotions, we have to clarify the mind, we have to look at reality, we have to pay pay attention to take the next step and at some point we confront the deep mystery of not knowing. And then, based only on the heart's aspiration, have to take that step, we have to take that breath, we have to put down our roots, we have to plant the seed in the great mystery, and then with mindfulness, we nourish it. The great one of the examples that that David White used, which I think is kind of cool, He talks about Joan of Arc.
• 20:52
  And he says, here's a little country girl, illiterate, who somehow heard this voice in herself and said, I want to save France. I want to put the right king on the throne. And out of this this fervent passionate calling, she raised an army and got the prince's attention, you know, put the rightful king on the throne so to speak. And she was killed, of course. When we take that step into the unknown, not knowing what's going to happen and yet knowing that in our heart there is a vow to be our self.
• 21:37
  There's a vow to give life to this life. There is a vow to to take this material that we have and to offer it and to bring it forward. I think that's a deep calling. And it may not have anything to do with our living. A lot of people who have a calling as a musician, they'll step forward and say, I'm going to play music.
• 22:02
  I'm going to play music. I'm going to write. And they don't really know, is this going to be successful or not? I don't know. You don't know.
• 22:10
  People say all kinds of things and maybe they're not successful. And yet, the vow is alive. So Clay has a vow, he's gonna make it to the other end of the room, you know. He doesn't know what's gonna happen when he gets there, but he is he's he's gonna vow that I'm gonna do this. And he does it, you know, step by step.
• 22:35
  His watch is wonderful to watch. So we do this investigation, we we we find this root, we take a step into the unknown, and then we have have a dedication and a faith, and we just keep going, and we keep going. And doors keep opening or doors keep closing. Sometimes closing doors is as much information as opening doors. Sometimes when things don't work out, that gives us opportunity to see what might work out.
• 23:10
  Here's a poem by Mary Sartin, Now I become myself. Now I become myself. It's taken time. Many years in places I've been dissolved and shaken, worn other people's faces, run madly as if time were there. Terribly old crying a warning, hurry, you'll be dead before before what?
• 23:34
  Before you reach the morning? Before the end of the poem is clear, our love is safe in a walled city. But now, to stand still, to be here, to feel my own weight and density. Now, I have become myself. So we have to view who we are at a personality level, know, changes, fluctuating, historic level, historic our history has changed by our view of our histories, you know, I the the history I had when I was a 20 year old is vastly different than the history I had when I was an 80 year old, 70 or six, however old.
• 24:16
  We have to have the history at a communal level, we have the history, we have to see things at a universal level. We look at our world, we feel deeply, and we offer our life. And what makes a vow, what makes a calling is the offering. What makes a calling is the offering to something that is bigger, to offering of something that is alive that only we can offer. And that offering becomes an empowerment and that empowerment becomes a force, a movement and it shapes the world that we live in.
• 24:59
  Oh, that's what I've been pondering.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Zen Community of Oregon podcast, and thank you for your practice. New episodes air every week. Please consider making a donation at zendust.org. Your support supports us.