Latest / Inspired Travels With Patti / How to Trust the Unknown & Let Go of Control | Kristy Halvorsen

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How to Trust the Unknown & Let Go of Control | Kristy Halvorsen · Inspired Travels With Patti

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: What if one person's story could give you the permission to live your own?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Today I have a special guest that is going to tell a story that is truly inspiring.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Christy, the book you wrote takes a tremendous amount of vulnerability.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: What was it that made you decide to write the story?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Was there something you wanted people to get out of it when you started the writing process?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, um, I knew I needed to write the book because of the adventures and because of the people I'd met and the transformation that happened with me personally.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was a book before I knew it was going to be a book.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that was I feel like if a novelist set out to write an adventure, a transformative adventure story, they would have had trouble coming up with what happened in real life and in my life during that year.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, there was a point when I just looked back and I said, I have to write a book about this year just because of all the incredible things that happened.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't have in mind something I'd want people to get out of it, but I knew from experience that just from me sharing on social media and me talking to people, that the stories and the things that happen would change people's lives.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't have an idea of how that would happen.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I have been reading your book, The Perfect Unfolding.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: It is about traveling in an airstream for nine years.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: It is about your adventures, all of the things that went totally wrong.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: But this podcast episode is really about moving forward and, you know, not knowing what was going to happen, but doing it anyway, just like with the book, not waiting for things to be perfect, because the book is called The Perfect Unfolding.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're going to talk about that.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: But this book truly resonated with me.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Your story resonated with me in that idea of just not knowing what the future's going to look like.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that is scary, but stepping into it anyway.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to welcome my listeners to Inspired Travels with Patty.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're new here, I want to let people know that I created the podcast and YouTube channel to inspire people to live life fully.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this story totally aligns with my mission of doing this podcast.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: So let's jump in.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: My guest, um, and and I'm using a quote, so I'm going to kind of read your bio because it just, I mean, it wrote itself.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: If normal is a way of being, Christy Halverson is not that.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: In 2017, she sold everything, left her firefighting career, and hit the road in her airstream trailer.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: For nearly nine years, she has migrate, she has migrated with the seasons, often with no idea where she's headed next.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: In addition to being a nomadic world traveler, she is a mentor, coach, and best-selling author of the perfect unfolding seven years of life-changing soul adventure, one year that broke me open.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: A vulnerable, deeply human account of what's possible when you live in curiosity and wonder and embrace the unknown and trust life while waking up to the simplicity and freedom available to us all.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Inspire Travels with Patty Christie.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Patty.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm inspired to see where we end up after all this.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: I am too.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to let my listeners know there's no big game plan.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: We're just flowing with this.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much here.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I have read most of your book and just fell in love with the story and the stories that you tell.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I saw myself in so much of it.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I want to share.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, like I said, you talk about travel, you give great tips for traveling in an airstream, travel in general, traveling to Canada, traveling to Mexico, solo traveling.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: But today is really about stepping out of your comfort zone, stepping into the unknown.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: So let's jump in.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: I there is so much here, so we are gonna try and stay on track.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Let's start with that word that you use over and over again, cotta wample.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Tell us what that means.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So cotton wample is uh a made-up word that was born somewhere in the UK a few decades ago.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody really knows.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's a it's made up.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so since it's made up, I I took it upon myself to to redefine it and to give it an official definition that hopefully will be in a diction dictionary one day.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: So coddy wampling is traveling without knowing where you're going.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when I first set out in 17, I thought it was just about travel.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: But the more I cottiwampled, the more I realized it has everything to do with every part of life.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, the more we cotti womple, the more we live life and we just follow our inner knowing, something I like to call the tickle of our soul, the more the most amazing things happen and the easier life becomes.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so, um, so yeah, the definition one is traveling, pretty much traveling without having a destination in mind, or being open to all possibilities, and then lastly to stop predicting our future or predicting our journey.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So just take one step at a time and let things unfold as they may.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: That is so scary a thought, in all honesty.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And if we had met 10 years ago, I would have just totally shut down, said you were nuts, and I'm total transparent.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Just there is no way I was the planner.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I needed to know what my future was going to look like.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: My terminology was what does this look like?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: What's the plan?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so the idea of just going out there into the unknown was scary.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to address that for people because I think there are a lot of people out there that the unknown is scary and they're not willing to take that step.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Fear, let's call it fear.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, how do you get past that?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Have you always been that way?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think in a in a way, yes.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I just learned at an early age that we can follow our heart.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I used to call it back then.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So in my early 20s, um, I made a big career move, and I left a really, really well-paying job with a lot of status, and I and I took a leap into a job that needs a high school education and and scared my mother to death.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody thought I was nuts.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: My i it was not long after graduation, I was kind of teacher's pet in college.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So my professors, the people at my job, my family, my friends, I was the only one that thought it was a good idea.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But it was such a strong knowing that I jumped and I I changed careers and and you know, it worked out better than I could have ever imagined.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so I say that that was the best decision of my whole life, mainly because it taught me that I can trust my knowing.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can trust what I now call the tickles of my soul.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so from my early 20s, I people saw me as different because I I was, I would still get scared, I still had fear like other people, but when I really, really knew to do something, when I was really being drawn, I would just take a leap.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like in in in relation to travel, I remember I wanted to go to Mexico and I didn't know that many people or I had just moved, and so I back I went on Craigslist.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: This was back when Craigslist wasn't as weird as it is now, but they had a strictly platonic section, which most people were like, Do you want to meet and play tennis?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wrote on there looking for a female that's pretty normal and wants to go to Mexico.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Who's in?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And actually a lady responded, and so I traveled to New Mexico to Mexico with with a lady I'd never met before, and it worked out pretty well.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like we weren't BFFs afterwards, but it was great, and it was nice to have a travel buddy.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that was in my late 20s.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I I was always up to doing different things, but yeah, when it comes to like making massive moves in life, I still got nervous, but because of the deep knowing that I know that I can follow my tickles of my soul, I've been more apt to just take that leap.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking about what I would have said and what people might be saying.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have that deep knowing, is what people are probably saying.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Is it just something special to you, or do you feel like people have that knowing?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: We just need to find a way to tap into it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And and what's nice is it's there, it's under everything.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So we've just been conditioned by school and society and our parents, like no offense to them, because they were conditioned in the same way just by the people that came before them.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not their fault, but we've all been conditioned to be analytical and to think through things and to create pros and cons lists.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when and most people live so entirely entirely in their heads, they don't even realize they're living in their heads.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: But when the noise quiets, when we're just kind of resting in a peace and present, the knowings are there and they're they're loud.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: They're not a voice, but they're just like you could just feel it, you just know.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my theory, and I feel like it's truth is the knowings are always there.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's just they're covered up with noise most of the time.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, I think of it as trusting your gut, your intuition.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: I always want to teach my kids and now my grandkids.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, tap into that when you feel that, and when I say in your gut, and I point to the gut and I say, if you're feeling something, you don't have to analyze it.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: If it feels strange, if there's a hesitation, listen to it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's the it part of it.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And do I do believe we all have it?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: It is a matter of quieting our minds and allowing and believing that it's there and it exists.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: So now I want to talk about you listen to your gut and you take these chances and you're constantly moving into the unknown, but a lot of crazy stuff happened on your journey.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: But isn't it interesting how and that's why, like I said, your first question was, Did you write your book for a reason?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I wrote it because I couldn't believe what actually happened in real life.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if you notice, it always worked out.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there were really difficult times.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: There were times where I lost my stuff and just was screaming at no one and nobody.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: There was a time where I almost died, maybe a couple of those.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: But in the end, it all worked out.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I named the book The Perfect Unfolding.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes in the moment it looks like utter chaos and the end of the world.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: But if we know we're in the midst of the perfect unfolding, and for some reason this is all gonna make sense at some point in time, we can look back and say, Oh, I get it now.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then then, even in the midst of the chaos or the really, really hard times, there's there's this, there's this silent, like lovely space that we can trust that.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this too is part of the perfect unfolding of everything.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where I so resonated with the book.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And some people know my story, some don't.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: I say someday I'll write a book, and maybe this is my inspiration to start writing.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: But three and a half years ago, like life seemed to fall apart, everything.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I lost my mother, my husband went into a nursing home, my car broke down, I didn't have a house because we lived in an RV, so I didn't have a house, and then I lost my job.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And while you're going through it, it's why is this happening to me?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: And how horrible is this?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And this wasn't what I envisioned for my future, and all of those things that I know I went through.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like po me, there was some of that.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: But in the end of it, is there something bigger?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is there something more?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Is there, I don't know, bigger plan that now I can look back and things for me still aren't set, they're still not perfect.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's not like everything has quote unquote worked out, but knowing that there is something at sort of at the end of it, I think helps go into that unknowing.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't want anybody to believe while you were going through some of this stuff, and you clearly talk about it in the book that you weren't scared, that you weren't mad, that you weren't screaming, that you didn't have feelings that you know, like why is this happening, or whatever those feelings were.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: But I think the more we go through some of these things, the more we've realized that there is something on the other side of it.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: So definitely resonated, and definitely why I I actually sat back and thought about, you know, why do I do this podcast?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I would say it's to inspire other people, but this is it, and reminding myself of it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I get scared, or when I'm so busy, or when I feel like people aren't listening, people aren't being inspired.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, you write a book, you hopefully you'll get that feedback.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I've seen people that have said how they were inspired by the book.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, with a podcast, you don't always get that, you don't always get the feedback.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it is believing that whatever you choose to do has a purpose, even if you can't say it in the beginning.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: So tell us uh one of those stories where can you give us one of those stories where you just wanted to throw your hands up and and give up?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like what kept you going?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Any story I pick, there's different versions.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I will I almost want to answer your question first.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: What kept me going?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's just because there was no there's nothing else to do but to keep going.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, no matter what happens.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's the whole point of um sharing what I share is even if you don't know, not knowing is an answer.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then you just keep taking one step at a time or you sit right where you're at, you know.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um I don't know.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: The one story that comes to mind is when I I don't know if you've made it to that point in the book yet, but I I was invited to go on a commercial fishing boat.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Have you read that part?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: So at first I was like, I don't know this guy from anyone, and he was obviously drinking liquor at like 4 30 in the morning.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but he he invited me to go on a commercial fishing boat, which I like to describe it as like think deadliest catch but with fish.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and then he invited me, I was kind of like unsure, and he goes, Come meet my mom, let's go have breakfast.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I went and met his mom, and um, she seems really super cool, and she was a commercial fisherman as well.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And um, she was actually like, You don't want to go on that boat, like ugh.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I I got a good feeling that he wasn't gonna do anything, you know, wrong with me.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was I was really curious because that's what I think guides me, is my curiosity.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was really curious, like when in my the rest of my life will I ever be invited on a commercial fishing boat?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I went, and it was it was not it was not the best experience.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: The water pump broke, so there was no toilet, no showers, hard to wash your hands, hard to wash dishes.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: We were eating spam.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was a cluster.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then they needed another crew member, and so I was just there observing, and they asked me to stay on as a greenhorn, so like the newest crew member, but actually get paid.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Hey, I need it, I need another crew member.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to stay?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're going out to sea for three days.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um we'll split the profits, but you should get at least four grand, if not more, after three days.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh my gosh, that will fund the rest of my travels for this summer.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, you know what?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: I need to let me go for a walk because we're we're docked.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I went for a walk.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, to me, I asked myself, like, what would I do if I knew I couldn't get this wrong?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Or if I knew it'd all work out.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in that in that space, I knew that I didn't want to keep eating spam and potatoes and be living without running water on a smelly boat with a bunch of guys I don't know for three days out in open sea.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: The only way reason I was considering it was because like, what a paycheck, and it might be a cool experience, but but it was mainly that.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I in my heart was saying, I want to keep going, I want to go check out Newfo Newfoundland, I want to see what I see.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be stuck on a fishing boat.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I went back and I said no thanks, and he was shocked.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I I like I think that story is a good one because it's nothing dramatic happened, but it was just it was it's just showing how much I do trust my inner knowing.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to always be clean.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do something for a reason.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do something because my heart is like, yes, let's do it.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And my heart wasn't yes.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: My brain was like, that could be interesting and we'll get paid.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I said no, and I'm so glad I did.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad I did.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not sure if that was the kind of story you're looking for, but to me, it's proof of the we all know.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: But how many times in different parts of life, in different scenarios, do we listen to our brain and say, this is gonna be a better financial decision?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or this might, you know, fill in the blink, somehow help me in the future, instead of trusting our in the moment knowing that says, nah, I'd rather not.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And and that's a perfect story, and that was one of the stories that I was listening to.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm listening to the audio version, and I was sitting on the edge of my seat thinking, what is gonna happen?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you I there were times during the book that I thought this is like a movie.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I had to remind myself, this is true.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's no made-up stuff in this.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: This was one of those situations where I was like, okay, this is where in the movie something goes wrong and she gets captured and is, you know, put in the dungeon, whatever.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to remind myself, wait, this is a true story.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and yeah, the way that you told the stories, and really, I've really felt like I was there with you.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: Now, while we're talking about trusting our knowing, and I know that I have learned to trust that more and more over the years, what would you say to people that say, yes, but some of the decisions you made were, in their words, big mistakes?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: How do you address that?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have an interesting theory.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and that is there are no mistakes.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: So it might look like a mistake in the moment.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's tons of things that look like mistakes, you know?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, God forbid you accidentally run a stop sign and run over someone.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is a big mistake.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it and it's and it's this is not um, this is not saying that you have permission to just go out willy-nilly and do whatever you want, not care about other people's feelings.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that at all.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm saying even small mistakes, like showing up late for an appointment or saying something you wish you hadn't.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: To me, like I'm being lived by life, and so are you and everyone else.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I am not actually in control of what happens.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: And for some reason, you know, like a quick example.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: I really hurt my knee bad when I was young.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was, you know, thought I was invincible and so didn't treat it the right way.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: And to this day, I can't do things because of my knee.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I can't go on long hikes and things I'd really like to do.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom's uh said so many times through the years, she's like, honestly, I hate that you have this problem with your knee, but I really think it saved your life so many times.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I feel like if your knee was perfect, you would have like fallen off a cliff or done something stupid already, you know.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I that's like a small example of I trust that everything that happens is a part of the perfect unfolding.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And even though there's things that I like say or do and I wish I could take back, I feel that.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: But all I do actually is I learn from it and I hopefully can do that differently in the future.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't actually see things as mistakes in the in the in the big, big picture.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to agree with that wholeheartedly.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's either you do something and you learn from it, you make a new choice.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I because I don't know that we can go through life not doing the thing that we go back and say, wow, I wish I hadn't done that, or look at it and think, okay, well, that taught me something.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: I I think about, you know, my whole life, and I do think about writing a book.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: And there are times I think to myself, if I write this book, people are just not going to believe it.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not to say my story is worse than somebody else's or better.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think there are things that, you know, people may be able to get from it.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: But everything that I have gone through in my life has led me to where I am today.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it is a place that even 10 years ago I couldn't imagine doing.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that includes doing a podcast, being on stage.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: I would get on stages, traveled around the world, then spoke on stages.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was not something I ever wanted to do.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't see those as a mistake.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: I see those just like you are saying, as a learning.
• 21:55
  unknown: Yeah.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: In reading the book and choosing to do this episode.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: I keep going back to how people like you can encourage my listeners and others to keep going, even when things get messy, when things don't seem to work out, when people sit there and say, My life is a mess, nothing is going right.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: What do you say to them?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, after reading your book, if you had given up, nobody would have questioned it.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: If you had just thrown your hands up and given up and crawled it a whole kind of thing, nobody would have questioned it.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: They would have been like, Yeah, we get it.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, what do you say to people in that respect?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a that's a good conversation to have because we've all been there, you know, and and even though this book is about the most incredible one-year journey of of all the whole time, um, I there was flashbacks.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I shared early on how that first year of my journey was awful.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: I if there was an easy button that I could have pushed and had my old life back, my old job back, my old house back, I would have taken it back in an instant, but I couldn't.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and and I was sad, I was lonely, I was crying to strangers, I was it was a mess.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: But and even good friends were like, why don't you just go get an apartment somewhere?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: But and I was like, because I wouldn't even know where to get an apartment.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's like nowhere I want to live.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: I I I thought I'd find somewhere that I might want to live forever on this journey, and then there's nowhere.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I felt so helpless and so lost.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the only thing I knew to do going back to the knowing is just to continue on until something arose, like an answer arose to what to do.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad I trusted that.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, in the moment, it felt like there was no other thing other than just to suffer on and let things happen and figure it out.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I did, but I'm so grateful because I had this big aha in in February, March of 19.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what's interesting is in my nothing in my physical life changed.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was still living in the airstream, I was still wandering around pretty aimlessly.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: But my big aha was about who I am and how life works.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And once that settled, I thought this is the coolest life ever.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then from that point on, so early 2019 to present, there have been ups and downs, but even the downs have been just like, well, this sucks, but oh well, that's life, you know.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I truly there's been so often where I've gotten teary-eyed and and and broke down crying because I've the pure gratefulness of the life I've gotten to live.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is beyond my wildest dreams, incredible that I'm actually doing this.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: As a little kid, I never would have imagined this kind of thing would be possible, much less I would do it.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so my thing for everyone is like somewhere deep down, there's usually something.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also help.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I've had, you know, since the book was written and published, I've had the toughest period of my life with losing some several significant people, including my mother and just other things that happened.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was interesting because I was having to reread my book and I was giving talks, and and I actually I learned from my own writing.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I realized I wrote this book for myself.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this last year, just being reminded of the truth of that we're all in the midst of a perfect unfolding and that life has ups and downs, and we're not in control, we're just on this wild ride.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like that got me through this really, really tough period.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so to me, that's all there is to do is to.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I ask that people kind of run an experiment for yourself, and that's an experiment around listening to those knowings, your gut, your intuition, the tickles of your soul, and seeing what happens when you do.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like the more we realize that that's where it's at, like life becomes so much more stress-free and clean when we follow that knowing, like the more free we all will be.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And and yeah, there'll be hard times, but they'll have a different feel to them.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and I've come through the other side, like the last three months, I've come through that kind of dark night of the soul, and and and I'm and I see life again clearly.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I can see how in that time, that period, I how I was struggling sometimes.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing what I thought would be best and not listening to my heart.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I needed to take my own advice.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: There is so much of what you said, and I want to go back to the very first things that you said, and that was that horrible first year and how wonderful it was.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because in any situation, we can look at the horrible, but there's always something that we can look at that's you know, wonderful, a wonderful experience.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying just put rose-colored glasses on.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, when something happens, when we've both lost our mother, it's sad and it's okay to cry.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't, hey, just be happy all the time.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: But in your worst, that horrible first year, you talk about the fun and the beauty and the and the things that happened that you enjoyed, and they led you to that next step.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: I love it's the perfect unfolding.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: There is no perfect in anything, there is the ups and downs.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things I want to talk about, because what I've learned for myself over the years, stuff happens.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: And again, when I was younger, when something would happen, I'd say, Poor me, why did this happen to me?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why me?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: What, you know, why am I being punished?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people think that way, and you know, just sharing here.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: And now when something happens that might be something pretty significant, pretty bad, life-changing event, I think I have the ability.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Ability might not be the right word, but to handle it in a different way, to not feel like this happened to me, to not feel like poor me.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean I'm not sad, it doesn't mean I'm not crying, it doesn't mean I don't go into what my coach calls my turtle shell.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that means I've gone into a shell and I am not coming out.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is it, this is the last straw.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: I am done.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we need to go in there, sometimes we need that, but in the end, looking back and saying everything that has happened has taught me something.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: How what would you say to people?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: How do you help people if they're talking about that?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're also a coach.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: What do you say to people?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: To be really, really gentle with themselves, to treat yourself like you would treat your own best friend, or like I even like to think of it as, you know, most people have like a child or a special person in their life that they're just like, I want the best for you in such a way.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I hope that you never have a moment of pain and I want to give you everything that you could possibly like we all have a person in our life like that, whether it's our grandmother or kid or our best friend, but my my biggest thing is to treat yourself in the same way with the same love that you treat you would treat your favorite person.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: And just be gentle.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when when we can start being really, really gentle with ourselves, and when I when I say gentle, I mean no judgment, no expectations, no labels, and as best as we can let go of all beliefs, when we can do that for ourselves and life in general, life suddenly becomes slower, simpler, easier.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's the judgments and expectations and labels and beliefs that get in the way.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and and the best wording I can find to help people find that is to be really gentle.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so even if like sometimes I'll say like just practice extreme abandonment of all judgment.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then someone will be like, Oh my gosh, I'm judging myself, and then you're upset, and I'm like, Well, it's even worse to judge yourself for judging yourself.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's just it's just this extreme gentleness, this radical gentleness.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and sometimes my favorite word is oh well, or so this is what's happening today.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because when when stuff hits the fan, like honestly, most of the stress comes from our fighting what's actually happening.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can be like stuff is really hitting the fan today, and I guess that's what's happening, like just that alone can ease the the way we walk about our days.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: But if we're like stuff is hitting this fan, and I swear to goodness gracious, I you know, and we're all upset about what's going on, the it's we're not gonna have the capacity to be or the presence to see our way out of it.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: But when we can just say, Oh well, this is what's happening, there's something else that happens there.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say that.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other truth about life is it is it is a ride, it is like uh an ocean.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's nice and smooth, and sometimes there's huge waves and white caps.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: But know that there are always nice and smooth days.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: The the ocean never stays how it is right now.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: So just trusting that, that this too will be different one day.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is so incredible.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: Being gentle with ourselves, talking to ourselves the way we talk to that child or that best friend.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: I love that advice.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: And and that, you know, we all have those waves.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: You and I, even with everything we've been through and all that we've learned.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, again, I know you are a coach.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: There's still those waves, there's still those bottoms.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think even, you know, on those days where the stuff's hitting the fan, we have to remind ourselves that this too will come to pass.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: As my father always said, and I never quite understood.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's true, it will.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean you're not in it, and it's not horrible.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I know for me, some of the things that have been helpful is having coaches, having friends, having people that I could literally just cry on their shoulder, which is something over the last two years, honestly, I've learned how to do like literally to cry.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that is not something I have ever done in my life.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's always been keep it in, we don't cry.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's a whole different, you know, road we could go down.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, and again, we didn't talk about your coaching, so talk a little bit about that because I do think coaching mentors, therapists, whatever people need support systems is so incredibly important in going through the journey we call life.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about what you do as a coach.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: I really I just I I be with people.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's the best I can say.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, my the way I the way I work with people professionally and the way I interact with people that I just meet on random occasions or my friends and family has drastically changed um over the last nine years.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um so you know, when I first started out in coaching, I was your classic coach that helped people with their goals and mindset.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And and I believe now, I know now, that mindset and goals are for the birds.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like throw them out the window, toss them away.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I you there's no goals in coddy wampling, you know?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: And and if I were to live life in and and had gone after my goals, I would not be living in this incredibly magical space that I get to call life right now.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and feelings are feelings.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: The best thing we can ever do is feel them all and feel them to the utmost.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: But no, like they have no bearing on how we live our life.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: The the problem people have is when they're trying not to feel the feelings, or they're trying to make feelings go away.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just one of the things it is is just you know, feelings are like the weather.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, thinking that I can I'm gonna have a horrible day just because it's raining outside, like that stinks, you know.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, but and thinking I can change the weather or that I'm the one that caused the weather, like that's psycho.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if if we think we caused our feelings or can change them, like we've got more to see and learn.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, so I it's hard to share exactly what I do because I've I've had these big aha's on life, but I found that if we can let go of labels, expectations, beliefs, all that, judgments, life and us will be um a happy couple.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and um I like to call myself a stripper, not the pole dancing kind.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: But that's what I do in my work now is I help people let go of and strip down all the things in their way.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because I truly believe at the depths of who we are is all we need.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: And all the things that shages know about life and and who we are, we know them too, once we forget all the things we've been taught and all the conditioning we have.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: So let go of everything, and you'll be left with your true, beautiful, wonderful self, and you get to live a life of freedom.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to cotty coddy wampling, which is a verb, trav in it's to travel purposely toward an unknown destination, it's really become your philosophy in life, trusting the journey instead of needing every answer before taking the first step.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I just wanted to re-emphasize that before we close out this episode.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: How can people get in touch with you?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: I read this book, I'm almost finished, and I know I'll read it again, and it will be on my list of books to read for recommendations.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, how can people get in touch with you, see your book, hear your book, all of that stuff?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: Where can I send them?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: The best place is perfectunfolding.com.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um and the book is available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook, and all the major online retailers and and uh small bookstores here and there as well.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can also request it from your local bookstore.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then then another way you can kind of keep track keep track with me and follow me along the journey is my Instagram, which is just my name, which is has a funny spelling.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: So Christy.halversen, but check the spelling.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the three best places.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I will put all of that in the show notes so people listening do not have to remember.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: People who are listening on any of the podcast platforms can also watch us on YouTube where I'm going to put a lot of the cool pictures that you have of your journey in your airstream.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: So they will be on YouTube, and all of that'll be at Inspire Travels with Patty.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: Reach out to me, reach out to Christy, ask your questions.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: We'd really love to hear your questions, your comments.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: What else do you want to know?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: There, I think this is just the tip of the iceberg for people who are starting to understand that there may be more to life or there may be another way to live life.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I am telling people right now, if I can get out of my way of the planning and the needing to know what the future is going to hold.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: If I could do it, anybody can.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I do, like you say, for the most part, I just trust life and trust the unfolding of it.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to thank you so much, Christy, for being on and sharing so much incredible advice, information, inspiration.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a joy being with you.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, thank you so much.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I know we're gonna stay in touch.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: And to my audience, thank you so much for listening.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: I would really appreciate it if you hit the subscribe, the follow, you know what to do.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: And again, reach out to both of us, either of us, and let us know what your thoughts are.