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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 3 W LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN · DA CREW Podcast

0:10
Speaker 1: Usta definitely, definitely, customs, definitely, easts definitely yessssstas m M.
1:10
Speaker 2: Good evening, Good evening, Good evening, and welcome to season three,
1:15
Speaker 2: episode one of Delayed but Not Deny the podcast. Tonight,
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Speaker 2: I have the ever so beautiful Miss Fair and maclemore
1:25
Speaker 2: as my guests, and we're just gonna chop it up
1:28
Speaker 2: and let the conversation flow. But before we start, I'm
1:33
Speaker 2: gonna go to God in prayer. So, Heavenly, Father, we
1:37
Speaker 2: come to you tonight with our heads about and our
1:40
Speaker 2: hearts humble, asking you to be in the midst of
1:42
Speaker 2: the conversation tonight, Father God, let the.
1:45
Speaker 3: Hearers receive what is needed to be received.
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Speaker 2: Tonight, Lord, let one person or let the words and
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Speaker 2: the words of my mouth and the meditation of my
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Speaker 2: heart be accepted in thy sight, my strength and Redeemer. Lord,
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Speaker 2: we're just asking that you be in the midst of
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Speaker 2: the conversation and give the people what they need to
2:08
Speaker 2: receive from this conversation. In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen,
2:13
Speaker 2: MS Farren, are you there?
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Speaker 3: I am, How are you? How are you beautiful? I
2:20
Speaker 3: am wonderful. Thank you so much for having me. Thank
2:23
Speaker 3: you for coming.
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Speaker 2: I know we had initially had a time we were
2:29
Speaker 2: supposed to be together before but.
2:34
Speaker 3: Technical difficulties. But before we.
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Speaker 2: Begin, if I could have you to introduce yourself and
2:42
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about you?
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Speaker 3: Absolutely, so, Hello everybody. I am Farren McLamore, Author, advocate,
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Speaker 3: motivational speaker. I am a twenty twenty five Distinguished Author's
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Speaker 3: Guilt Ambassador. I was actually a twenty twenty for Distinguished
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Speaker 3: Author's Guild nominee. So first children's book nominated for an award,
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Speaker 3: such an amazing, incredible experience. Through my book and my brand,
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Speaker 3: I champion for people with disabilities. I love to inspire
3:16
Speaker 3: self love and encourage others to embrace their differences and
3:19
Speaker 3: love the person that they see in the mirror.
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Speaker 2: Absolutely, could you tell us a little bit about your
3:30
Speaker 2: daughter and.
3:32
Speaker 3: Disordered that she has. Yes, it's my favorite thing to
3:35
Speaker 3: talk about. She's truly, truly, truly are she wrote. So,
3:41
Speaker 3: her name is Kamaya in the book, she's Maya because
3:45
Speaker 3: we can also call her that as well. So shining
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Speaker 3: through my journey within continuity of PIGMENTY was inspired by
3:51
Speaker 3: her because it's such a rare condition and we had
3:56
Speaker 3: no idea what this was, even the doctors ever heard
4:00
Speaker 3: of it. So through research and just you know, seeing
4:03
Speaker 3: her symptoms and the things that she dealt with the
4:05
Speaker 3: nick you believe it or not. I when I had her,
4:09
Speaker 3: I actually already started writing like my experience first time
4:14
Speaker 3: mom and all the things that were happening. I just
4:18
Speaker 3: felt led to write it down, not knowing almost eight
4:23
Speaker 3: years later that it would be a book. So so
4:28
Speaker 3: in continent to your pigmity also known as ip SO,
4:32
Speaker 3: it's a rare skin condition, but it can also affect
4:36
Speaker 3: a number of things, depends on your symptoms. So the
4:39
Speaker 3: biggest thing it can affect is your hair, so you
4:42
Speaker 3: can have alopecia from it. The way your nails grow,
4:45
Speaker 3: they can be lined or pitted, the way your teeth grows.
4:49
Speaker 3: You can either have missing teeth or you can have
4:51
Speaker 3: peg shaped teeth. And it can also affect your central
4:54
Speaker 3: nervous system, which causes developmental delays. You can also have
4:59
Speaker 3: seized stroke from it, again depending on the severity of
5:03
Speaker 3: your symptoms. So my daughter, she ended up having a
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Speaker 3: stroke and a seizure in the NICU, which prompted us
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Speaker 3: to do further research. And then, like I said, it's
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Speaker 3: a skin condition, so it starts, it's four stages. It
5:18
Speaker 3: starts with a swirl like patches on your skin, and
5:22
Speaker 3: we noticed that on her skin like that was the
5:24
Speaker 3: first thing. And then she ended up having a stroke,
5:27
Speaker 3: and then she ended up having a seizure. So all
5:29
Speaker 3: these things had started happening. And then we literally googled,
5:33
Speaker 3: between us, the neurologists, the genetic doctor, we're googling these
5:38
Speaker 3: symptoms because we didn't know what was wrong. And then
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Speaker 3: we discovered in continency of pigmentcy, this rare condition that
5:49
Speaker 3: many have not heard of. And again, first time mom,
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Speaker 3: you know, we didn't know. And my my carrier. I'm
5:57
Speaker 3: not a carrier, so again it's just a random mutation
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Speaker 3: that happened for her. The condition is lethal and boys,
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Speaker 3: so wow did carry the condition and I was pregnant
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Speaker 3: with her. The pregnancy is likely to end in a miscarriage.
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Speaker 3: So now we do have a son, and so we
6:18
Speaker 3: were pregnant with him. We did the genetic testing at
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Speaker 3: eight weeks because you added it was a fifty to
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Speaker 3: fifty chance that he will survived. Thankfully, he did not
6:29
Speaker 3: have the condition, so he's here. But if a mother
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Speaker 3: carries the condition, then of course they would have to
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Speaker 3: have that that prenatal care, that extensive care just to
6:41
Speaker 3: kind of guide her through it. But most likely pregnancy
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Speaker 3: ended a miscarriage with this condition. Wow.
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Speaker 2: I've watched you on a number of podcasts talking about
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Speaker 2: your book and talking about your beautiful daughter. I too
7:01
Speaker 2: was born with the birth defect. I was born with
7:03
Speaker 2: spina bifida and hydro sephalis, which is it's a whole
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Speaker 2: different breed of just you know, just randomness that I
7:15
Speaker 2: have to go through. You know, when you were talking
7:19
Speaker 2: about the side effects and things that she goes through.
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Speaker 3: I lost my teeth due to.
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Speaker 2: No calcium and my bones didn't support them due to
7:32
Speaker 2: the spin of bffida and it's considered like a snowflake disorder.
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Speaker 2: No two people have it the same. One of my
7:39
Speaker 2: best friends also has it, but her her condition is
7:44
Speaker 2: way different from mine. And you know, just getting the
7:50
Speaker 2: word out. I salute you as a mom being able to,
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Speaker 2: you know, be a voice for her, you know, and
7:58
Speaker 2: standing up behind her and trying to spread knowledge about what,
8:03
Speaker 2: you know, what she has going on. I was adopted,
8:07
Speaker 2: And not to say that my mom didn't love me
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Speaker 2: or anything, but just having that person that gave you
8:15
Speaker 2: life to stand by you and not give you means everything.
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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
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Speaker 2: So I sew for, you know, being her biggest cheerleader,
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Speaker 2: and you know, so about the book, tell us a
8:34
Speaker 2: little bit about the book.
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Speaker 3: So again, so I'm coming up on my one year anniversary.
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Speaker 3: So March twenty six is the one year anniversary of
8:44
Speaker 3: this book. During the process, it was probably November of
8:51
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three, so I already I already had it written.
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Speaker 3: Like I just I sat here one day and I
8:59
Speaker 3: just had thoughts, right, I just had these thoughts, like,
9:02
Speaker 3: let me just write them down. I had these thoughts,
9:04
Speaker 3: and literally one day I just said, you know what,
9:06
Speaker 3: I want to write a children's book. And I didn't
9:09
Speaker 3: tell everybody because I didn't want people to put their
9:13
Speaker 3: fear on me. And I really really really wanted I
9:17
Speaker 3: knew this was something that I wanted to do, so
9:20
Speaker 3: I only told, you know, my handful of people who
9:23
Speaker 3: I knew would support me. And so just researching self
9:28
Speaker 3: publishing companies on my own. I didn't even know there
9:31
Speaker 3: was a traditional way. I just you know, I just
9:35
Speaker 3: looked up self publishing companies came across its Libris Publishing,
9:39
Speaker 3: which pretty much had everything I needed, supported my vision
9:44
Speaker 3: and brought it to life. So with already had it
9:47
Speaker 3: written with to them, you know, even with the illustrations.
9:52
Speaker 3: You know, it was just my whole thing on how
9:54
Speaker 3: I wanted it to be. I've included my daughter in
9:56
Speaker 3: the entire process because this book is just as my
10:00
Speaker 3: hers it as it is mine, because it's you know,
10:02
Speaker 3: it's her story. She's living it, and I just get
10:06
Speaker 3: to tell it until she understands it enough, you know,
10:09
Speaker 3: to share it herself. So it's important to me, like
10:13
Speaker 3: you mentioned, to advocate for her because one, I need
10:16
Speaker 3: to make sure people understand her when she's around these
10:19
Speaker 3: different people, because her comprehension.
10:22
Speaker 2: Is not.
10:24
Speaker 3: As it comes as easy as it does for us.
10:27
Speaker 3: So like we're having this conversation right now and there
10:30
Speaker 3: are me there may be a question, or there may
10:32
Speaker 3: be something that you ask her and she just simply
10:35
Speaker 3: might not understand. And that's just the developmental delay part
10:38
Speaker 3: of this condition. Not everybody has it. You can have
10:42
Speaker 3: the condition without the neurological part of it, so you
10:44
Speaker 3: can just deal with the skin, you know, the skin
10:47
Speaker 3: squirrel patches or you can just deal, you know, with
10:50
Speaker 3: the teeth. It's just different for everybody. But with her,
10:55
Speaker 3: you know, she just she just pretty much has it
10:57
Speaker 3: all the way through. So we have so many things
11:00
Speaker 3: set up for her, you know, support system wise. So
11:04
Speaker 3: the book is just bringing the first of all, it's
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Speaker 3: just an introduction to and continent to your pigmantee. And
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Speaker 3: then there's also an introduction to this eight year old
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Speaker 3: girl who's in the book, who is just teaching you
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Speaker 3: know her, you know her peers that it's okay to
11:20
Speaker 3: be different, it's okay to look different. And there's affirmations
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Speaker 3: in the book. It's a reference that you can go
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Speaker 3: back to, which I like to call it, it's a
11:30
Speaker 3: reference that you can go back to if you're having
11:32
Speaker 3: that bad day. A few of her affirmations because we
11:35
Speaker 3: say affirmations daily, it's important for me to build her
11:38
Speaker 3: up and help you know, either both of my kids,
11:41
Speaker 3: both of my childrens, We do affirmations daily to build
11:44
Speaker 3: that positive thought pattern. So this book is gonna help
11:47
Speaker 3: whoever read it. It's a children's book. Whoever read it,
11:51
Speaker 3: you know, it's gonna help in some way. Okay, how
11:59
Speaker 3: like with her going to school is she treated fairly.
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Speaker 2: And I asked this because with me, I also have
12:11
Speaker 2: that that delay and certain things just don't make sense.
12:16
Speaker 2: And in the this year alone, I've accomplished so much
12:22
Speaker 2: that doctors didn't think that I would be able to do.
12:27
Speaker 2: I I left a marriage and I drove myself from
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Speaker 2: South Carolina to Atlanta. Doctor never said that I would
12:38
Speaker 2: ever be able to do. I went through, you know,
12:42
Speaker 2: a school, I went through bullying because of.
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Speaker 3: How I received things.
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Speaker 2: The one thing I will say, as far as my mom,
12:52
Speaker 2: she was supposed to put me in like special ed
12:56
Speaker 2: classes or a place to set aside for people, you know,
13:02
Speaker 2: with disabilities or what have you, and she didn't do it.
13:05
Speaker 2: She stuck me in a regular school. And it had
13:09
Speaker 2: its pros and cons, Like I wasn't treated differently by
13:16
Speaker 2: the adults per se, but the kids they were relentless
13:21
Speaker 2: and they.
13:21
Speaker 3: Didn't They picked on me every day and they did
13:24
Speaker 3: not let up. So I was just curious, you know
13:27
Speaker 3: what her school situation is like for her? Well, first,
13:31
Speaker 3: I'm sorry that you had to go through that. You
13:33
Speaker 3: know that that's one of our biggest things that we
13:38
Speaker 3: think about, right especially because she just simply don't understand
13:43
Speaker 3: and she's the most kindest, most natural nurture and all
13:48
Speaker 3: she wants to do is help. And the same times
13:51
Speaker 3: we think, will people take advantage of her? Will people
13:55
Speaker 3: understand that when people notice that she don't understand and
14:00
Speaker 3: will they just take that and run with it. So
14:05
Speaker 3: that's where I come in, right, will come in is
14:09
Speaker 3: you know, I've been to the schools. I read the
14:12
Speaker 3: book to her class just so they know, like, this
14:16
Speaker 3: is her and this is how things may be for her.
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Speaker 3: The biggest thing is just making sure that she can
14:22
Speaker 3: identify if that is going on in those conversations we
14:27
Speaker 3: have daily. You know, I you know, you come home
14:31
Speaker 3: from school, how was your day? Like I don't I
14:33
Speaker 3: don't like asking those questions, you know, I'm asking questions,
14:37
Speaker 3: you know, like what was your favorite part of the day?
14:39
Speaker 3: What was your least favorite part of the day. It
14:41
Speaker 3: requires her, It challenges her to you know, think a
14:45
Speaker 3: little bit about you know what her response may be,
14:49
Speaker 3: but trust me, their their are thoughts where you know,
14:52
Speaker 3: as a mother you're like, wait, what what you know,
14:57
Speaker 3: who said what? But I think thing is just you know,
15:01
Speaker 3: helping her identify those situations and what they can look
15:05
Speaker 3: like and then just communicating with with her teachers and
15:10
Speaker 3: you know, anybody in the school that deals with her
15:13
Speaker 3: because she has IEP and is for the additional help.
15:18
Speaker 3: So she has speech therapy in school and outside of school,
15:21
Speaker 3: and that's just gonna help, you know, try to keep
15:24
Speaker 3: her as close as to where she needs to be. Now.
15:28
Speaker 3: She is capable of learning, it's just she learns by
15:32
Speaker 3: a reputation and review, so it takes her a little
15:35
Speaker 3: bit longer, but she's very capable, and so, you know,
15:40
Speaker 3: sometimes I think about that like it's somebody in class, like,
15:42
Speaker 3: you know, hurry up, you know, Kamaya, you know, those
15:45
Speaker 3: things that we think of. But I think it just
15:47
Speaker 3: starts with us letting her know, like it's okay to
15:51
Speaker 3: not know the answer. It's okay to my answer first,
15:55
Speaker 3: it's okay, it's okay to think about it. It's okay
15:57
Speaker 3: to ask for help, like all these things that sometimes
16:00
Speaker 3: kids shy away from. I don't want to ask for
16:02
Speaker 3: help because I don't want to, you know, seem like,
16:04
Speaker 3: you know, as to just making sure that she knows
16:06
Speaker 3: that it is okay, and that's what the book talks about.
16:09
Speaker 3: It is okay. So I want her to be comfortable
16:12
Speaker 3: with that and just not really rely on what people
16:16
Speaker 3: other people are doing or other kids are doing, because
16:18
Speaker 3: everybody learns at their own pace anyway, and hers is
16:23
Speaker 3: a little bit different. I want her to be okay
16:25
Speaker 3: with that, and so that way, when somebody says anything,
16:29
Speaker 3: it wouldn't matter because we've already you know, built her
16:32
Speaker 3: up and equipped her that it's okay. So if anybody
16:35
Speaker 3: tried to say anything or make fun of her or whatever,
16:38
Speaker 3: it would just roll off of her back. Because she
16:40
Speaker 3: could be very sensitive at times when it comes to
16:42
Speaker 3: things like friends or people not playing with her because
16:46
Speaker 3: she she she just want to be a part and
16:50
Speaker 3: I just you know, it's hard to break it down
16:53
Speaker 3: sometimes just let her know, like you don't have to
16:55
Speaker 3: worry about them, you know, it's okay, like play by yourself,
16:59
Speaker 3: you know, just things like that. But at the same time,
17:02
Speaker 3: it's just really equipping her just to let her know,
17:05
Speaker 3: like and just helping her identify that if that is
17:08
Speaker 3: the case, I want her to be able to communicate,
17:11
Speaker 3: whether it's to the teacher or whether it's to us,
17:13
Speaker 3: just so we can get a handle. And I love
17:15
Speaker 3: her cool because they're so supportive in it and they
17:18
Speaker 3: just really don't tolerate bullying or anything to that nature.
17:22
Speaker 3: There was a situation that did happen that somebody did
17:24
Speaker 3: try to take advantage of her, but luckily I caught
17:26
Speaker 3: it take care of it right away. And that's just
17:30
Speaker 3: her being kind. It's just her being kind to her friends,
17:33
Speaker 3: saying hey, can I have and she's like, here you go.
17:36
Speaker 3: But you know, it's just making sure that she can
17:39
Speaker 3: identify that is the is. The is the biggest thing
17:41
Speaker 3: for us. And I know, you know, things are going
17:45
Speaker 3: to happen and I can't control everything, but I do
17:48
Speaker 3: try to get in front of as much as I can.
17:50
Speaker 3: I do understand.
17:53
Speaker 2: The school that I went to was not that that great.
17:58
Speaker 2: So was like at the school every other day, ready
18:03
Speaker 2: to fight somebody's child. She was ready to go toe
18:05
Speaker 2: to toe with somebody and somebody's teacher and whoever. But
18:12
Speaker 2: growing up, you know, with the disability made making friends hard.
18:18
Speaker 2: I got picked on for the way that I walked,
18:20
Speaker 2: and I never noticed how I walked. I was in
18:25
Speaker 2: a wedding and we sat down and we watched the
18:28
Speaker 2: videotape after they got that from their honeymoon or whatever,
18:32
Speaker 2: and I looked and the ladies had on heels, and
18:37
Speaker 2: the shoe I had on had like a small hill
18:40
Speaker 2: because I can't walk in And I remember somebody asking
18:45
Speaker 2: me was I tired or was my shoes hurt in
18:48
Speaker 2: my feet or whatever was the way that I walked.
18:52
Speaker 3: And that was the.
18:52
Speaker 2: First time I noticed, you know, what my disability looked
18:57
Speaker 2: like on the outside to other people, and it made
19:01
Speaker 2: me a little withdrawn. I've had the same three best
19:07
Speaker 2: friends since elementary and junior high. I tried to meet
19:12
Speaker 2: new people, but at the same time, I go through
19:14
Speaker 2: this phase of wondering, you know, are they gonna judge
19:18
Speaker 2: me because of the things I have to withstand and
19:23
Speaker 2: deal with from a day to day basis. And then
19:26
Speaker 2: I was told that I would never have children, and
19:30
Speaker 2: I got pregnant as a teenager and.
19:34
Speaker 3: My son would be thirty Friday. So you know, I
19:39
Speaker 3: laugh at that because you know, the doctors told us
19:41
Speaker 3: so many things with our daughters too, and I realized
19:45
Speaker 3: that they have a job to do, right, And that's
19:48
Speaker 3: where I had to shift my perspective. Right, doctors, I
19:51
Speaker 3: know you have a job to do. I know you
19:53
Speaker 3: have to come tell me what it looks like today, right,
19:56
Speaker 3: I know, you have to come tell me what the
19:58
Speaker 3: test results are, you have to tell me what her
20:01
Speaker 3: life would be like. But for me, I know that
20:06
Speaker 3: I serve a God who is able to do exceedingly
20:10
Speaker 3: and abundantly right about anything that I can ask and think.
20:14
Speaker 3: And I knew that me praying for her even before
20:18
Speaker 3: she even got here. I knew I didn't know this
20:21
Speaker 3: was gonna happen, right because there was no warning with
20:23
Speaker 3: this condition, but I still knew that. I still know
20:27
Speaker 3: that he has his hand on her, and I know that,
20:32
Speaker 3: Like the story inspires me right, like you know, any
20:36
Speaker 3: insecurity or anything that I've ever had, Like I realized
20:39
Speaker 3: that I have this daughter that now I have to
20:43
Speaker 3: build up and now I have to make sure that
20:45
Speaker 3: she's confident and that nobody can you know, tell her
20:49
Speaker 3: just anything. So now it's like, Okay, it's a confidence
20:52
Speaker 3: builder for me because affirmations that were saying it's not
20:57
Speaker 3: just for my kids, they're for me too. They're for
20:59
Speaker 3: me let me know that I'm beautiful and I'm capable,
21:02
Speaker 3: and you know I can overcome, and you know, and
21:05
Speaker 3: I love it because they beat me saying affirmations. Now
21:08
Speaker 3: I can start them and they're beating me with them,
21:11
Speaker 3: and you know, one of them is I'm more than
21:13
Speaker 3: a conqueror, you know, And I want them to know
21:16
Speaker 3: that because it's important to know that you can overcome anything, regardless,
21:21
Speaker 3: regardless if the path is different, regardless if it takes
21:24
Speaker 3: you a little bit longer, regardless if somebody got the
21:27
Speaker 3: answer as soon as they hear it and you got
21:28
Speaker 3: to think about it or you got to write it out,
21:31
Speaker 3: if you still arrive at the same destination, regardless if
21:35
Speaker 3: you get there quicker or you get there later. And
21:38
Speaker 3: so I just think it's important, you know. And kids
21:40
Speaker 3: are cruel, and and I know that, I know they
21:43
Speaker 3: can be so cruel, but you know, I think it,
21:46
Speaker 3: Like I said, it's just important to you know, let
21:48
Speaker 3: them know that they're you know, everybody's situation or living
21:51
Speaker 3: situation is different, and people come to school and to
21:55
Speaker 3: escape and do all these different things. And they might
21:58
Speaker 3: you know, they might be me. But at the same time,
22:01
Speaker 3: you know, I don't my kids. They're not You're not
22:05
Speaker 3: gonna be mean, You're not gonna you know, talk about anybody.
22:08
Speaker 3: You know, You're gonna help somebody else and brace their
22:10
Speaker 3: differences as like you do. Especially with physical appearance, you know,
22:16
Speaker 3: is you tend to shy away to the back, right,
22:19
Speaker 3: but I want her to shine. Come on in the front, baby,
22:24
Speaker 3: and shine, you know, regardless of what it may look like,
22:28
Speaker 3: regardless if you're scared. And this is just me being
22:31
Speaker 3: a brand new author. Like every time I come on here,
22:34
Speaker 3: I am terrible. I care about what I say, but
22:40
Speaker 3: I do it right, I still do it. And this
22:43
Speaker 3: is just a testament to her like for one, like
22:45
Speaker 3: I love talking about this. I love educating, I love empowering,
22:49
Speaker 3: I love inspiring. I love being the person that if
22:52
Speaker 3: I can help you through your day by something that
22:55
Speaker 3: I said or as that I've given, that that's all
22:59
Speaker 3: I do. I don't you know, I don't need anything.
23:02
Speaker 3: I don't need from it, anything from it. But as
23:04
Speaker 3: long as I can help you, you know, love the
23:07
Speaker 3: person who you see flaws and all, because you know,
23:10
Speaker 3: we all are different, right we regardless if it's physical
23:14
Speaker 3: or this, you know, disability, we all are different anyway,
23:18
Speaker 3: right right, I just want you know, like I said,
23:21
Speaker 3: the biggest thing it is just it's helped me embrace
23:25
Speaker 3: you know, all of my differences. It's helped, you know,
23:28
Speaker 3: just our whole, you know, just our entire family, and
23:32
Speaker 3: so our hope is that we're helping other families or
23:36
Speaker 3: anyone else who might be experiencing similar challenges. I know,
23:41
Speaker 3: IP is really rare. I don't know too many people
23:44
Speaker 3: with it, but you know, but just anything, anything that
23:48
Speaker 3: you're dealing with, you know, it's important to me that
23:51
Speaker 3: you know, this story is going to inspire you know,
23:54
Speaker 3: the next just to keep just to keep going no
23:58
Speaker 3: matter what it looks like. You know, if I can
24:01
Speaker 3: be that advocate, even for or that voice, even for
24:03
Speaker 3: someone else, I'm happy with doing that.
24:07
Speaker 2: So I found my safe space on on Facebook.
24:13
Speaker 3: I found a couple of different groups.
24:17
Speaker 2: With people that were born with spina, bit of the
24:20
Speaker 2: or hydrocephilis or both.
24:23
Speaker 3: That I relate to.
24:25
Speaker 2: That you know, I could ask questions and you know,
24:29
Speaker 2: being that they deal with something the same as I have,
24:34
Speaker 2: but not in the same way, you know, it makes
24:38
Speaker 2: a difference. And just having people around you that are
24:42
Speaker 2: willing to lift you up instead of tearing you down
24:48
Speaker 2: because of something you have no control over, like terrified.
24:53
Speaker 2: When my son started school, I know, some of the
24:57
Speaker 2: teenagers that I went to school with were so teenage
25:00
Speaker 2: moms and my fear was, Okay, they're gonna know that
25:04
Speaker 2: he's mine and they're gonna have their kid picking my kid.
25:07
Speaker 2: Because my mind frame tells me that if you're going
25:11
Speaker 2: in school, then you turn into one as an adult.
25:14
Speaker 2: Some people change some people, all right, and you have
25:19
Speaker 2: to learn to like read the room because people show
25:22
Speaker 2: you who they are, and it's up to us to,
25:26
Speaker 2: you know, decipher what it is that we see. And
25:29
Speaker 2: you know, just I'm a grandmother now, so.
25:33
Speaker 3: I have thank you. I have a four year old granddaughter.
25:38
Speaker 3: She will she.
25:39
Speaker 2: Goes to school, and you know, I often wonder, you know,
25:43
Speaker 2: what her school experience is like.
25:46
Speaker 3: Of course, you know she's in another state.
25:48
Speaker 2: She's in Tennessee, so there's nobody in Tennessee that knows
25:52
Speaker 2: that she's related to me, of course, but you know,
25:57
Speaker 2: being that that had scarred me so much. That was
26:01
Speaker 2: something that I carried and I even told my son
26:03
Speaker 2: when he started school. I was like, listen, little boy,
26:06
Speaker 2: I need you to go in here and make a
26:11
Speaker 2: couple of friends. If if that's what you choose to do,
26:14
Speaker 2: I don't want you picking it nobody, I said. And
26:16
Speaker 2: more than anything, I don't want your teachers calling me
26:19
Speaker 2: telling me you did nothing told to do and I
26:24
Speaker 2: had no problems. I don't know if I put fear
26:29
Speaker 2: in them or whatever. He did what I needed him
26:32
Speaker 2: to do. He graduated on time. You know, he's a
26:38
Speaker 2: productive person in society.
26:41
Speaker 3: He doesn't bother anybody.
26:42
Speaker 2: And I'm thankful because a lot of people being that
26:46
Speaker 2: I had a disability, there was no way that I
26:50
Speaker 2: could be a teenage mother with a disability and raise
26:53
Speaker 2: a son. So you know, I'm proud that my son
26:56
Speaker 2: is turning thirty Valentine's Day.
26:59
Speaker 3: And overcoming adversity. That is awesome. I love it. I
27:05
Speaker 3: love you know, just just taking your own experience. And
27:08
Speaker 3: I know sometimes you know, we can, you know, be
27:13
Speaker 3: a little nervous, especially we're not there right because we
27:16
Speaker 3: as parents, we want to protect our children at all times,
27:20
Speaker 3: and we want people to treat our children how we
27:23
Speaker 3: treat our children. But you know that doesn't always happen right,
27:27
Speaker 3: And you know that's why we, you know, pray daily,
27:31
Speaker 3: you know, because we want God's protection to shield them
27:35
Speaker 3: from all hurd harm and danger scene and unseen. We
27:38
Speaker 3: we pray that, but ultimately, you know, it's still tough.
27:44
Speaker 3: It's still tough. To have those thoughts. But kudos to
27:47
Speaker 3: you because you know you're overcoming. And that's what I love.
27:50
Speaker 3: I love it. You know, in spite of it being
27:53
Speaker 3: so tough, you still overcame, and and that is that's
27:57
Speaker 3: kudos to you. I'm so glad to hear that. And
28:00
Speaker 3: I'm so glad to hear that. You know, even in
28:02
Speaker 3: that tough time, you know, you kept pushing, You keep pushing.
28:06
Speaker 3: And that's what I tell her, because you know, she's
28:08
Speaker 3: in the third grade, and I can tell when things
28:11
Speaker 3: are tough on her and it's weighing her down. But
28:14
Speaker 3: because she continues to push, we we that's all we
28:19
Speaker 3: look for is progress. Right as long as we see progress,
28:22
Speaker 3: we're happy with it, you know through her tests that
28:25
Speaker 3: she gets. As long as we see you know, some
28:28
Speaker 3: type what was better than last year, that's what we
28:31
Speaker 3: look for. You know, children with special needs or disability,
28:34
Speaker 3: you know, we can't compare them to anybody else. You know,
28:37
Speaker 3: we can't compare them to anybody's progress. I mean any kid.
28:40
Speaker 3: I mean I wouldn't. We didn't compare. I don't think
28:43
Speaker 3: you should compare a kid, whether you to have a
28:45
Speaker 3: disability or not, because they're going to do things, you know,
28:49
Speaker 3: as they do things in different times, and so that's
28:52
Speaker 3: the biggest thing too. You know, we really took that
28:56
Speaker 3: comparison out. You know, you're supposed to be walking at
28:59
Speaker 3: this age krong get this age talk. We knew she
29:02
Speaker 3: was going to do it, but even if it was delayed,
29:05
Speaker 3: she was still going to get there, and so we
29:08
Speaker 3: had to take all of that out of our head.
29:10
Speaker 3: And this is her own journey, this is her own path,
29:13
Speaker 3: and we started you know, we're on her journey now,
29:17
Speaker 3: so we're not worried about what nobody else is doing.
29:20
Speaker 3: We're not worried about what nobody else is saying, because
29:24
Speaker 3: this is her journey and we know how you know,
29:27
Speaker 3: we have to do things for her based on her journey.
29:30
Speaker 3: I can't compare it to someone else's or anything like that.
29:35
Speaker 3: But you mentioned something that I love, and that was
29:37
Speaker 3: the support groups, because community is super duper important when
29:42
Speaker 3: it comes to things like that. And I've said before,
29:45
Speaker 3: you know, we can relate to one thing, and that's
29:47
Speaker 3: just having children, but having children with a disability is
29:51
Speaker 3: another thing, just because and it depends on the severity
29:55
Speaker 3: of that disability. You know, the things that you you know,
29:59
Speaker 3: go through. So I'm into incontinentity of pigmities support groups
30:04
Speaker 3: on Facebook and I get it, Like I'm not dealing
30:07
Speaker 3: with it personally, but just to be able to ask
30:10
Speaker 3: those questions, just to be able to speak to someone
30:12
Speaker 3: who you can relate to. And then just to see
30:16
Speaker 3: the stories, of course, the heartbreaking stories because like I mentioned,
30:20
Speaker 3: is it is letho and boys, so you do. You
30:25
Speaker 3: can see that in the ultrasound. So just seeing those stories,
30:28
Speaker 3: you know, of the mothers that are getting ready to
30:30
Speaker 3: miscarry because of it, it's heartbreaking. It's so heartbreaking, you know,
30:36
Speaker 3: to see and of course you know, I'm always you know,
30:39
Speaker 3: lifting them up in prayer just because it's such a
30:43
Speaker 3: fifty to fifty chance, you know, with it. And women
30:48
Speaker 3: survive it because it's an excellent dominant condition. So because
30:53
Speaker 3: we have two X chromosomes, we have one that compensates
30:56
Speaker 3: the other. So we live a pretty normal life with it. Now.
31:00
Speaker 3: Boys can survive with it, they can, but usually they
31:04
Speaker 3: have the more severely. So my daughter also wears glasses
31:08
Speaker 3: because her retinas they're pale when she was born and
31:12
Speaker 3: so she wears glass. So she's like I wouldn't say
31:15
Speaker 3: severely nearsighted, but one of her eyes is you know,
31:19
Speaker 3: worse than the other. So she's excited. But that's another
31:22
Speaker 3: thing we have to watch. So there's so many different
31:24
Speaker 3: things that we have to look out for with this
31:28
Speaker 3: condition based on you know, the severity that you have it.
31:32
Speaker 3: But you know she'll be ten in May, so just
31:37
Speaker 3: listen to those ten years that we you know, I
31:40
Speaker 3: feel like, you know, we can we can do anything. Now,
31:43
Speaker 3: you know we can that we you know, have gotten it.
31:47
Speaker 3: But it's just that whole part of you know, learning
31:51
Speaker 3: your kid, you know, whether they have an ability or not,
31:54
Speaker 3: learning what she needs learning, how we can help support her,
31:59
Speaker 3: learning what we need to put in place just to
32:01
Speaker 3: make sure she's comfortable everywhere she go. My family has
32:04
Speaker 3: been amazing just with learning the condition and how to
32:07
Speaker 3: help support and like for school, phenomenal to everybody, the teachers,
32:13
Speaker 3: the staff there, they're all phenomenal with it. So you know,
32:17
Speaker 3: I couldn't be more grateful just for the people that
32:22
Speaker 3: are surrounding us. And then even you know, just of
32:26
Speaker 3: course you know the crew podcasts for letting me come on.
32:29
Speaker 3: We're family.
32:30
Speaker 1: Now.
32:30
Speaker 3: I almost don't been on all y'all absolutely, but I
32:35
Speaker 3: love you agree because you know it. First of all,
32:39
Speaker 3: I love the conversation, but you know, just to be
32:42
Speaker 3: able to, you know, come and share an advocate and
32:46
Speaker 3: it's just something that I can talk about all day long,
32:48
Speaker 3: whether it's this or whether it's just something positive or
32:51
Speaker 3: just uplifting or anything like that. It's just what I've
32:54
Speaker 3: always loved to do. So, well, are you planning to
32:59
Speaker 3: do a follow up book to that book? I am
33:04
Speaker 3: so so. I do want to do a series, hence
33:08
Speaker 3: the title Shining through My Journey, right, because it's a journey,
33:12
Speaker 3: it's gonna be updates all the time, so there is
33:16
Speaker 3: gonna be a series. What I'm currently working on, though,
33:20
Speaker 3: is the story from my perspective, So that's gonna be
33:27
Speaker 3: coming out here in a few months, and it's a
33:30
Speaker 3: Collass's actually a collaboration project, which is my first collaboration project.
33:33
Speaker 3: I'm super super excited about because I have other mothers
33:36
Speaker 3: coming in who have children with disabilities. You're doing like anthology? Huh,
33:44
Speaker 3: You're doing like an anthology something like that. They're all
33:49
Speaker 3: gonna share their stories or we're going to collaborate and
33:53
Speaker 3: just talk about our experience from birth to now, so
33:58
Speaker 3: you're gonna get that site, that deep, deep insight of
34:03
Speaker 3: just all the things that we felt, thought everything. So
34:08
Speaker 3: I can't wait to share that piece. And then of
34:13
Speaker 3: course after that there is gonna be a series because
34:16
Speaker 3: this condition changes all the time, and I know people's
34:20
Speaker 3: gonna want to update because, like I said, this was
34:22
Speaker 3: a this was an introduction to it. But as you know,
34:27
Speaker 3: she grows, everything's gonna look different for her. Like Pruberty,
34:32
Speaker 3: that's gonna look different for her because I learned that
34:36
Speaker 3: if you have seizures, like your minstrels different and so
34:43
Speaker 3: all these different things that you know, I have to
34:47
Speaker 3: still learn as she continued to grow, because she started
34:51
Speaker 3: hitting puberty at like seven, Like things started to change
34:56
Speaker 3: at like seven, and we're like, okay, so then of
34:59
Speaker 3: course we have now we have to have those talks,
35:01
Speaker 3: right because she learns repetition and review. So now it's
35:05
Speaker 3: costly saying hey, this is what's gonna happen, Okay, but
35:11
Speaker 3: don't be scared when it happens. When this happens till
35:14
Speaker 3: a teacher or your nurse at school. So it's that
35:17
Speaker 3: common kind of conversation, right, So it's like I have
35:19
Speaker 3: to break it down to her to say, when this happens,
35:23
Speaker 3: you do this, and then there you know. Of course
35:26
Speaker 3: it is like so you remember what I said, like
35:27
Speaker 3: what's gonna happen? Or who do you tell? So it's
35:31
Speaker 3: that type of thing because we go over it and
35:33
Speaker 3: we go over it because if we keep going over it,
35:36
Speaker 3: then I know that you know, and then I can
35:40
Speaker 3: help you know, because we don't. I don't know. I
35:42
Speaker 3: mean when she's gonna, you know, start, but you know,
35:47
Speaker 3: I still want to prepare her as much as I can.
35:49
Speaker 3: And I know, for me sometimes I feel like it's
35:52
Speaker 3: the information overload because her mindset right, but on time,
35:58
Speaker 3: like when I hear her play, and when I hear
36:01
Speaker 3: her just be like I can hear her like imitating
36:05
Speaker 3: what I'm saying or what I'm doing. So I'm like,
36:08
Speaker 3: she got it because she anything does like she plays
36:12
Speaker 3: and she plays that and so you can hear and
36:16
Speaker 3: when she understands things. So it's like all these different
36:20
Speaker 3: kinds of conversations. Like you said, you want to prepare
36:22
Speaker 3: them as much as you can, and then you know,
36:26
Speaker 3: it's just a constant conversations like hey, what do you
36:29
Speaker 3: do in this situation? What do you do when somebody
36:32
Speaker 3: said Because we learned like a couple of situations that happened,
36:35
Speaker 3: we realize she just didn't know how to respond. She
36:38
Speaker 3: just know what to say, and so her react. So
36:42
Speaker 3: she reacts right instead of saying something. Sometimes she reacts.
36:47
Speaker 3: Sometimes she'll say something. I guess, it just depends on
36:50
Speaker 3: what it is. But I'll get a call from the
36:52
Speaker 3: school because she reacted, and of course, right they know
36:57
Speaker 3: that she doesn't mean any harm or anything like that.
36:59
Speaker 3: But the conversation when she comes home is, hey, if
37:02
Speaker 3: somebody said this, you can say this. If somebody like this,
37:07
Speaker 3: you can do this. So it's just those ideas that
37:10
Speaker 3: for the next time this comes up or the next
37:12
Speaker 3: time this may possibly happen, I just want you to
37:15
Speaker 3: know how you know, you can handle it, you know, differently.
37:19
Speaker 3: So it's just all these conversations that we, you know,
37:21
Speaker 3: are constantly having just to make sure she understands, and
37:25
Speaker 3: you usually she does. You can tell when she doesn't
37:29
Speaker 3: because she'll look like, yeah, you know, And that's just
37:33
Speaker 3: part of you know, us learning how to reward things
37:35
Speaker 3: in the way that she understands. And then we have
37:38
Speaker 3: to notify the teacher too, like you might probably can't
37:41
Speaker 3: just go to her and say certain things. You have to,
37:44
Speaker 3: you know, reword it in a way that she understands.
37:49
Speaker 3: Have you ever thought about starting your own support group?
37:54
Speaker 3: You know what I have. I have. I've thought about it,
37:59
Speaker 3: but then I got to think about a name, you know,
38:01
Speaker 3: all the different things. But I would love to do that.
38:04
Speaker 3: I would love to do that, just because you know,
38:09
Speaker 3: even in this project, even this project, one of the
38:13
Speaker 3: mothers have autistic children, and she, you know, just writing
38:20
Speaker 3: her part and just the support. She's like, I never
38:22
Speaker 3: had that before. I never had anybody who understood. And
38:26
Speaker 3: I think that's the biggest part of you know, collaborating
38:30
Speaker 3: and having that community. You I understand. I understand that,
38:35
Speaker 3: you know, reliving this can be emotional. I understand that
38:39
Speaker 3: reliving this can be traumatizing. I understand that reliving this
38:43
Speaker 3: can be heartbreaking, just depending on where you are in
38:47
Speaker 3: your journey. And trust me, sometimes I you know, I
38:52
Speaker 3: sit back and I look at her and I'm like, okay,
38:55
Speaker 3: God Like, sometimes it is tough. It's tough just watching
39:00
Speaker 3: this bright little girl. You know, I have to deal
39:03
Speaker 3: with this. But at the same time, it's like, you know,
39:07
Speaker 3: I get to help her navigate it. I get to
39:10
Speaker 3: help her to navigate through this. So she's gonna be Okay.
39:14
Speaker 3: I tell people all the time. I tell my husband
39:16
Speaker 3: all the time, she's gonna be a genius. I'm speaking
39:19
Speaker 3: to you because she's going to be a genius. I
39:22
Speaker 3: see her and I see how right she is, and
39:24
Speaker 3: I'm speaking it. I know that she'll be a genius.
39:27
Speaker 3: And I can't wait to, you know, just to see it,
39:31
Speaker 3: just to see her continue to unfold, just to see
39:34
Speaker 3: her continue to you know, she's she's just finally getting
39:37
Speaker 3: into things like so my son he likes te ball
39:40
Speaker 3: in the summer and I'm like, well, what do you
39:42
Speaker 3: want to do? And she's like, I don't know. So
39:45
Speaker 3: she's in the choir now at school. Well she loves music.
39:48
Speaker 3: She's just been my music baby from the beginning. So
39:52
Speaker 3: just to see her thrive in that at the concerts
39:55
Speaker 3: and stuff. I love seeing her, you know, really dig
39:58
Speaker 3: into things that she loves. And then she's gonna do
40:02
Speaker 3: this girls group where they're just kind of you know,
40:04
Speaker 3: teach those you know, concepts. They're gonna so, like you said,
40:08
Speaker 3: just making those friends who you know genuinely care about
40:11
Speaker 3: you who's generally gonna genuinely gonna support you, who's gonna
40:15
Speaker 3: be okay that you know you're different, uh, not make
40:19
Speaker 3: fun of it and not you know, And so that's
40:22
Speaker 3: my Yeah, that support because you know we all need it.
40:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, Trevida has been my best friend since we were twelve.
40:34
Speaker 2: And family, she said, y'all have been family since day one.
40:41
Speaker 3: Yes, I told him that rid of me.
40:46
Speaker 2: Right, And you know, just being able to find that person,
40:50
Speaker 2: like that friend that sees you and not your disability,
40:56
Speaker 2: the person can love you in spite of and just
40:59
Speaker 2: have friends, whether it's Trevita or d D or whomever,
41:04
Speaker 2: you know, I that loves me for me and not
41:09
Speaker 2: not in a sense of feeling sorry for me or whatever.
41:14
Speaker 2: Because I've come to a place where feeling sorry for
41:18
Speaker 2: myself is no longer allowed. I've made it this far.
41:23
Speaker 2: I've you know, everything that was designed to hinder me
41:29
Speaker 2: or take me out.
41:30
Speaker 3: God God said no.
41:32
Speaker 2: So I've been able to accomplish things I wasn't according
41:37
Speaker 2: to doctors, and man, I wasn't sup to have a kid.
41:42
Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna make it past nine years old. Like
41:48
Speaker 2: when my parents adopted me, they were already planning in
41:50
Speaker 2: my funeral because doctors, I wouldn't make it.
41:56
Speaker 3: But here I am just turned forty six.
41:59
Speaker 2: But yeah, but God and nobody could have done it
42:03
Speaker 2: but him. And that is why I titled my show
42:09
Speaker 2: Delayed but Not Denied, also the title of my first book,
42:12
Speaker 2: because you know you'll arrive on the time you're supposed
42:17
Speaker 2: to and you know, I you know, I I'm in
42:24
Speaker 2: awe of your situation and just hearing you talk about
42:29
Speaker 2: your daughter and seeing you know, just seeing your Facebook
42:32
Speaker 2: page and you sharing things and you know, just learning
42:37
Speaker 2: from you. And that's why I was asking if you
42:40
Speaker 2: planned on starting your own support group, because I feel
42:44
Speaker 2: like it would be very beneficial. Somebody out there needs you,
42:49
Speaker 2: needs that book and needs to know you know, it's okay,
42:53
Speaker 2: and it's you know, every day is not going to
42:56
Speaker 2: be sunshine and rainbows, but you get through it.
43:00
Speaker 3: You do it with your head up. So I applaud you.
43:05
Speaker 2: I stand beside you, and if there's ever anything that
43:08
Speaker 2: I can do to help you push through with your
43:13
Speaker 2: journey with this with your daughter, please feel free to
43:17
Speaker 2: reach out let me know, and I'm I'm on board
43:20
Speaker 2: to do whatever it is because I know that she
43:26
Speaker 2: is going to be an amazing young lady because she
43:31
Speaker 2: has an amazing mom, so you know, But not to
43:37
Speaker 2: keep you too long. If someone wants to reach out
43:41
Speaker 2: to you to order your books, how how would they
43:44
Speaker 2: go about reaching you?
43:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, so darrenmacklumore dot com so that is my first name,
43:50
Speaker 3: last name dot com. You can purchase there. That is
43:53
Speaker 3: directly from the publisher. The book is also available on
43:58
Speaker 3: Amazon and Barnes Ands. I tell people to search by
44:02
Speaker 3: my name just because the so long. Search by my
44:07
Speaker 3: name on Amazon, the book will come up, and also
44:11
Speaker 3: Barnes and Noble a personal copy. My favorite thing to
44:14
Speaker 3: do is a personal copy. So if you want a
44:18
Speaker 3: personal copy, Author fair in Maclamore is my page on
44:21
Speaker 3: Facebook or my personal page just fair and Maclamore. You
44:24
Speaker 3: can inbox me. Kamaya also signs books with me because
44:28
Speaker 3: again this is just her book just as much as mine,
44:33
Speaker 3: so we love to read the inspirational message. I sign
44:36
Speaker 3: and then she signs just because you know it's her
44:39
Speaker 3: it's her story and journey too, So either way is
44:43
Speaker 3: you know, it's perfect for me. I appreciate the love,
44:46
Speaker 3: I appreciate the support. It it's it means everything. To
44:50
Speaker 3: me just being able to you know, uplift someone and
44:53
Speaker 3: just share the story. Like I said, I could talk
44:57
Speaker 3: about it all day. So so it's nice. But again,
45:02
Speaker 3: like I said, kudos to YouTube just for overcoming, just
45:06
Speaker 3: for you know, standing up and and and something that
45:10
Speaker 3: you said. You don't let yourself you know, you know,
45:13
Speaker 3: be down. I don't either. I don't either. A lot
45:16
Speaker 3: of people that have come around me like if you're
45:19
Speaker 3: you don't you can't not too long, Like you don't
45:22
Speaker 3: have too long to be down, because it could be worse, right,
45:26
Speaker 3: can always be worse. It's okay to have a bad day,
45:31
Speaker 3: right that, Yeah, you're going to be in that bad
45:35
Speaker 3: day because some people, you know, don't go down that
45:39
Speaker 3: rabbit hole, right, stay you know, stay up here. But
45:43
Speaker 3: you know, it's just something that I'm always just trying
45:46
Speaker 3: to even with my children, you know, just just just
45:49
Speaker 3: to keep going and just keep as positive as possible,
45:52
Speaker 3: especially with everything that's going on around us anyway, you know,
45:57
Speaker 3: important just to keep that positive thought process. You know,
46:02
Speaker 3: me and me and Trevida joke a lot as far as.
46:05
Speaker 2: Like when I have my moments where I just feel
46:09
Speaker 2: like throwing in the towel, she throws it back and
46:11
Speaker 2: says uh uh. And she was like, you know what,
46:13
Speaker 2: if you need a pity party, you go ahead, you
46:16
Speaker 2: have your little pity party.
46:18
Speaker 3: Dude, get it all out.
46:20
Speaker 2: And she was like, and then we're gonna get over this, right,
46:24
Speaker 2: you know, Like Trevida is my mama.
46:27
Speaker 3: So you need friends like that though. You need friends
46:31
Speaker 3: who are going to they're gonna let you have that moment,
46:34
Speaker 3: but they also are not gonna let you stay there long.
46:37
Speaker 3: And I think that's important to have that friendship. And
46:41
Speaker 3: that's my prayer, you know, even for Kamaya, just to
46:44
Speaker 3: get get those two or three good good friends that's
46:48
Speaker 3: gonna support you and have your back and advocate for
46:51
Speaker 3: you if if they need you in a situation, you
46:53
Speaker 3: know what I mean. And so hopefully that's that's my
46:57
Speaker 3: prayer for her too, is that you know, but as
47:00
Speaker 3: long does God have me here absolutely right there every moment,
47:08
Speaker 3: you know, I'm hey, But I tell people all the time,
47:11
Speaker 3: like what you say, like I don't play about these
47:13
Speaker 3: two at all. And even my son, you know, there's
47:17
Speaker 3: you know, he doesn't have you know, anything a disability
47:21
Speaker 3: at all. But he's just a boy, you know, just
47:24
Speaker 3: being a boy. But their relationship is great. They're you know,
47:28
Speaker 3: they are four years apart. He stands up for her
47:31
Speaker 3: if I'm saying something to her, why are you talking
47:33
Speaker 3: to my sister like that? I mean, like, who are
47:36
Speaker 3: you talking to? Five? And that's why he oh wow,
47:42
Speaker 3: like going on thirteen, because he protects her like none other.
47:47
Speaker 3: I said, okay, a little big brother, you know, okay,
47:49
Speaker 3: And I love that because now you know, I know
47:52
Speaker 3: that he can understand it quicker than she can. So
47:56
Speaker 3: if it's something he either can tell it or you know,
48:00
Speaker 3: he can he can get the information to me.
48:03
Speaker 2: Because the older, their bond will strengthen, and nobody will
48:08
Speaker 2: be able to play in her face about nothing because
48:12
Speaker 2: he's not gonna go for it.
48:13
Speaker 3: He's not saying he's not standing the chance. Even here,
48:16
Speaker 3: I'm like, who's gonna fight me? Who you tell me?
48:20
Speaker 3: Who ain't gonna tell? Then he can say I'm gonna
48:22
Speaker 3: tell my daddy, Okay, go ahead. Chances are he's gonna
48:26
Speaker 3: side with me either. So but no, it's it's been.
48:31
Speaker 3: It's been such a rewarding journey. You know a lot
48:33
Speaker 3: of people ask me, like, how are you like this?
48:36
Speaker 3: You know, it's it's just for one prayer. If it
48:41
Speaker 3: wasn't for my faith in my prayer life, I don't
48:44
Speaker 3: know where I would be, honestly, because this type of
48:48
Speaker 3: situation or this type of condition, it could you know,
48:52
Speaker 3: it could take you there. You know, it can have
48:54
Speaker 3: you thinking all types of things and then being the
48:56
Speaker 3: first time, Mom, now I'm questioning to myself. You know,
49:01
Speaker 3: I'm wanting to know what. But at the same time,
49:05
Speaker 3: you know, I know that God would never put more
49:07
Speaker 3: on me than I can bear. And I know that
49:10
Speaker 3: even when I was writing back in twenty fifteen, I
49:14
Speaker 3: did not know that it was preparing me for twenty
49:18
Speaker 3: twenty four to release my first book on the very
49:21
Speaker 3: thing that I was writing. So, you know, the things,
49:25
Speaker 3: everything that happens in our life, I know that it's
49:27
Speaker 3: for a reason, and I know that nothing happens by chance.
49:30
Speaker 3: So it's a blessing just to be able to, you know,
49:33
Speaker 3: live it. It's a blessing to be able to share it.
49:37
Speaker 3: It's a blessing to be able to encourage uplift and
49:40
Speaker 3: just let somebody know to hang in there and that
49:43
Speaker 3: there is light. There's always light at the end of
49:45
Speaker 3: the tunnel. Just keep going. Absolutely. If anybody else from
49:52
Speaker 3: the Crew podcast would like to have you on their show,
49:55
Speaker 3: how can they help you? So Farren McLamore Yahoo, it's
50:00
Speaker 3: my email, or just some message on on Facebook. Always
50:05
Speaker 3: on there being the you know, the ambassador for Distinguished
50:10
Speaker 3: Author's Guild. If you're an author, submit your book, any
50:13
Speaker 3: new books coming out, any old books that you have,
50:16
Speaker 3: submit them, submit them for a chance to be nominated.
50:20
Speaker 3: Not being nominated last year the War Show phenomenal. It
50:24
Speaker 3: was such an unforgettable experience for one of the connections.
50:28
Speaker 3: The connections are great. You just get around like minded
50:32
Speaker 3: people and you just get to share. You get the
50:35
Speaker 3: support is amazing and it's just all about you. It's
50:39
Speaker 3: all about you. So if you have an award winning
50:42
Speaker 3: book submitted, I'll be submitting my upcoming book and hopes
50:47
Speaker 3: to be a nominee. But an ambassador is great for
50:49
Speaker 3: me because I get to tell you all about it.
50:51
Speaker 3: I get to share my experience and I get to
50:54
Speaker 3: you know, I get to share. But it's amazing, it's
50:57
Speaker 3: it's the It's definitely something that I I am glad
51:01
Speaker 3: that I stepped into, not knowing what it was gonna
51:04
Speaker 3: be like, but I stepped into because of the support,
51:07
Speaker 3: mainly for the like minded people, you know, even then
51:11
Speaker 3: the aspiring authors to watch. I love that because again
51:14
Speaker 3: it's the connection, you know, Miss Angela, the sweetest. Y'all
51:18
Speaker 3: are just the sweetest most you know, y'all are the sweetest,
51:23
Speaker 3: and I love it. I love just being connected to y'all.
51:26
Speaker 3: So it's it's it's it's an incredible journey, Like I'm
51:30
Speaker 3: happy to be here. Like it took me a long
51:31
Speaker 3: time to like, I'm an author. What like people he
51:37
Speaker 3: wrote a book and literally like being in an distinguished
51:41
Speaker 3: author's guilt. They address you that way, author far and
51:45
Speaker 3: author Maclamore. So it's like putting that respect on your
51:48
Speaker 3: name and you're like, okay, I am an author and
51:52
Speaker 3: so yeah, and so that's the thing, just knowing that
51:55
Speaker 3: you earned it and that's who you are. So it
51:58
Speaker 3: took me a little bit, but now I wear proudly
52:03
Speaker 3: just to be able to share it. So yeah, it's
52:07
Speaker 3: been great. I look forward to having you on my
52:12
Speaker 3: show again. Dad.
52:17
Speaker 2: Greater is coming and it's twenty twenty five is going
52:23
Speaker 2: to be the store front for what's coming next.
52:29
Speaker 3: And your next will always be greater than your last.
52:32
Speaker 2: So just and have your heart and hands and your
52:38
Speaker 2: your mind ready for whatever God has for you to
52:42
Speaker 2: grow you and to step you out even further where
52:47
Speaker 2: He needs you to be to really get this thing going,
52:52
Speaker 2: because people need to know, you know.
52:56
Speaker 3: This is and how to navigate life through it. You know,
53:01
Speaker 3: a lot of people never knew what spin of biffit
53:04
Speaker 3: it was.
53:04
Speaker 2: And I used to get so mad because I was like,
53:07
Speaker 2: how did God give me something that nobody else knows?
53:11
Speaker 3: I know, yeah, what did I do? I was not
53:16
Speaker 3: in line for the pick me?
53:18
Speaker 2: But you know, just being able to be in a
53:22
Speaker 2: space where you can find people that are willing to listen,
53:28
Speaker 2: who are willing to empower you, lift you up.
53:34
Speaker 3: And support you in any way, Like I never knew
53:38
Speaker 3: this spina biffit.
53:38
Speaker 2: I had an awareness month until I joined the groups
53:43
Speaker 2: on Facebook, And because it's in the same month as
53:47
Speaker 2: briast cancer Awareness and things like that, a lot of
53:50
Speaker 2: people don't, you know, they don't know what it is.
53:53
Speaker 2: And so every year or so I have my sister
53:58
Speaker 2: in law to design a T shirt and so that
54:03
Speaker 2: you know, people can learn and if they don't know
54:07
Speaker 2: and ask questions, and you know, I don't have all
54:11
Speaker 2: the answers about spina because my parents when they adopted me,
54:17
Speaker 2: I think all my mom took in was keep her safe,
54:20
Speaker 2: keep her fed, keep her clothes, and they did.
54:24
Speaker 1: Like my mom, she.
54:25
Speaker 2: Didn't want me to do anything because I was this
54:30
Speaker 2: fragile being that was gonna break if you look at
54:33
Speaker 2: me wrong. And so you know, that kind of hindered
54:37
Speaker 2: me in my as a woman, you know, just growing
54:41
Speaker 2: up not knowing certain things that most people my age
54:45
Speaker 2: wouldn't know. And you know, even like down to driving,
54:49
Speaker 2: doctor said that I shouldn't do it, and here I
54:51
Speaker 2: am going from one stay to another, like say, listen,
54:57
Speaker 2: not getting a little blue car and take off.
55:00
Speaker 3: You know, our journeys are literally and I tell people
55:04
Speaker 3: all the time, you know, sometimes our journey is not
55:07
Speaker 3: just for us, it's for others. It's for others to
55:10
Speaker 3: see you that you can overcome. It's for others to
55:13
Speaker 3: see that it's tough, and it might be tough right now,
55:18
Speaker 3: but you can make it. You can. You know if look,
55:22
Speaker 3: if your mind is a mindset, right, you have to
55:25
Speaker 3: be an older shift that mindset just to get you,
55:30
Speaker 3: get you through. But I know that our story, you
55:33
Speaker 3: know it wasn't just for us, right, that it was
55:37
Speaker 3: for you know, those around me. And I love that,
55:41
Speaker 3: Like I said, since I was a little girl, I've
55:42
Speaker 3: always been that way. And it's just funny how hot
55:45
Speaker 3: aligned things because you wonder why certain things happen to
55:48
Speaker 3: you in your childhood or even adulthood. And and it's
55:53
Speaker 3: all for the purpose, right, because you know, for the
55:56
Speaker 3: he knows the plan right, absolutely lives and so I
56:01
Speaker 3: just I love to see it unfold, right, and it
56:04
Speaker 3: just when you sit in it, when I sit and think,
56:07
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's why you did? You know, that's
56:10
Speaker 3: why this happened, you know, not question him or anything.
56:14
Speaker 3: But at the same time, you know, sometimes you want
56:17
Speaker 3: to know why. You know, sometimes it doesn't make her
56:23
Speaker 3: like and then I'm not a carrier, so it's like,
56:26
Speaker 3: you know, it's just questions, like I don't carry it,
56:28
Speaker 3: so I couldn't pass it to her. It's very weird
56:31
Speaker 3: for a dad to pass it to their female offspring
56:35
Speaker 3: because it is an ex EXCELLNK dominant condition, so it's
56:41
Speaker 3: very hard to you know, if these thoughts and without
56:46
Speaker 3: you know, her genetic doctor and neurologists, we would we
56:49
Speaker 3: wouldn't have the information, and then writing this book, you know,
56:52
Speaker 3: inspire me, like I have to know now because I
56:54
Speaker 3: have to tell people. So now I have my own
56:57
Speaker 3: research and I have to figure out, you know, what
57:00
Speaker 3: this was, this, how this is? And I think I
57:04
Speaker 3: posted a video probably a couple of months ago, just
57:07
Speaker 3: like the beginning stages of it kind of till now,
57:11
Speaker 3: which just kind of shows her skin and stuff like that.
57:14
Speaker 3: And of course, you know, people know, I'm not nervous
57:17
Speaker 3: to show it because if it could help somebody, right,
57:21
Speaker 3: and if it can help somebody, you know, this is
57:22
Speaker 3: what it's gonna look like, because you can have the
57:24
Speaker 3: skin part of it again, but not have the neurological
57:28
Speaker 3: part of it, and you need if your skin's like that,
57:31
Speaker 3: then you might not know what's going on. And you
57:34
Speaker 3: could have it and not know. And so a lot
57:37
Speaker 3: of people thought she had exeba. Well, she did have
57:39
Speaker 3: a form of ezumba, but the biggest part of it
57:43
Speaker 3: was the incontinentity of pigmenty that that we had to
57:47
Speaker 3: learn about. But you know, we get this chance to
57:51
Speaker 3: how long did you thank you to learn to pronounce that?
57:54
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, it took a while. I used to
57:57
Speaker 3: call it, but you know what, I looked it up.
58:01
Speaker 3: So a lot of people call it a continentia, which
58:05
Speaker 3: I guess that's the way you can say it, and continentia,
58:10
Speaker 3: like I guess, it's a couple of ways you can
58:12
Speaker 3: say it. But I just tell people just say IP
58:15
Speaker 3: because because it can be you know. But when I
58:19
Speaker 3: feel when I say in continenty, your pigmenty it, it
58:22
Speaker 3: spikes like what is that? You know? I mean, IP
58:27
Speaker 3: can spike it too. But when people look at the title,
58:30
Speaker 3: I know there's gonna be like that, you know, and
58:35
Speaker 3: so but you know, even looking at the title, you
58:39
Speaker 3: know this book is gonna inspire you. It's gonna inspire you.
58:43
Speaker 3: It's like it's gonna be that reminder you know you
58:45
Speaker 3: can go back. There's affirmations in there. There is a
58:48
Speaker 3: page that breaks it down, telling you what is okay
58:52
Speaker 3: because we want you to be comfortable in your own skin.
58:57
Speaker 3: And hopefully one of those it is okay, is gonna
59:00
Speaker 3: you know, it's something you've dealt with or something you're
59:02
Speaker 3: dealing with or something. But just letting you know that
59:04
Speaker 3: it's okay, because you know it's important for me not
59:08
Speaker 3: to I don't want her to be ashamed of nothing, right,
59:12
Speaker 3: I don't care if it's a patch, a scar, I
59:16
Speaker 3: don't care. I don't want her to. We didn't we
59:19
Speaker 3: didn't hide her, you know. We we didn't let her,
59:23
Speaker 3: you know, cover her legs up in the summer. You know,
59:25
Speaker 3: they I mean these went to blisters, okay, like cul
59:29
Speaker 3: blown blisters, and we didn't hide them because I'm not
59:34
Speaker 3: gonna have my baby hot in the summer, because you know,
59:38
Speaker 3: and so I would watch. I would much rather people say, hey,
59:42
Speaker 3: what's going on then just just stare or look. I
59:46
Speaker 3: love to share about it. I love to say, you know,
59:49
Speaker 3: it's it's a rare skin condition because it started out
59:51
Speaker 3: with squirrel patches, but then it went to blisters, it rashes,
59:55
Speaker 3: and we just kept those, you know, just by some
59:57
Speaker 3: moisturizer and motion went to a dermatologist who gave us
1:00:01
Speaker 3: a really good moisturizing lotion that helped those and then
1:00:06
Speaker 3: they went away. And even in her ten year old,
1:00:09
Speaker 3: so sometimes they'll pop up and in the whole way.
1:00:14
Speaker 3: So I feel like, you know, you know how you
1:00:16
Speaker 3: when you have your newborn baby, you're constantly looking over
1:00:18
Speaker 3: their body, maketioning. I know, that's what I have to
1:00:20
Speaker 3: do with her, because they come and go. I need
1:00:23
Speaker 3: to make sure that there's nothing that's too you know,
1:00:26
Speaker 3: popped up, that's you know, too sore or you know.
1:00:29
Speaker 3: So it's all these different things that we have to
1:00:31
Speaker 3: do just to make sure that you know, everything is
1:00:35
Speaker 3: you know, developing and looking how it should look. Well.
1:00:41
Speaker 2: Ms Faran, I thank you so much for coming on
1:00:45
Speaker 2: tonight and sharing about your journey and your beautiful daughter
1:00:50
Speaker 2: and your book, and and just being a light to
1:00:54
Speaker 2: somebody that you know, may not may not suffer from
1:00:58
Speaker 2: the condition but may be curious about it, or know
1:01:02
Speaker 2: somebody that has it, you know, just being that person
1:01:06
Speaker 2: that they can see and see that it's okay and
1:01:11
Speaker 2: you know, life still can be lived in abundance, you know.
1:01:16
Speaker 3: So I appreciate you. I would love to have.
1:01:20
Speaker 2: You to come back and you know, talk some more,
1:01:24
Speaker 2: because look, God made it to the power Mark and
1:01:27
Speaker 2: Miss Angela gonna be she's gonna.
1:01:28
Speaker 3: Have my head in a minute, so we don't want that.
1:01:34
Speaker 3: But I thank you.
1:01:35
Speaker 2: I appreciate you so much and we'll definitely be keeping
1:01:40
Speaker 2: in touch absolutely well.
1:01:42
Speaker 3: Thank you again for having me. You keep shining too,
1:01:44
Speaker 3: You keep overcoming. You keep don't let nobody nothing dim
1:01:48
Speaker 3: your life. Okay, you keep shining because you know your story,
1:01:52
Speaker 3: your journey needs to be seen in her too. So
1:01:55
Speaker 3: I applaud you. I am super super proud of you
1:01:58
Speaker 3: as well, just for you know, just for just keep going.
1:02:02
Speaker 3: I love to see that. So thank you so much
1:02:05
Speaker 3: for having me. I can't wait to come back again.
1:02:08
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you to my guests, and thank you
1:02:13
Speaker 2: for the audience for watching. I will be back on
1:02:15
Speaker 2: February twenty eighth with episode two for season three. And
1:02:23
Speaker 2: as I always say, you may be delayed, but what
1:02:25
Speaker 2: God has for you will never be denied unto you.
1:02:28
Speaker 2: So until next time, have a nice night.
1:02:32
Speaker 1: I have