Latest / Loud & Lifted / 13 Types of Bad Bosses: Mita Mallick on Narcissists, Bullies & the Boss Who Emails at Midnight

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13 Types of Bad Bosses: Mita Mallick on Narcissists, Bullies & the Boss Who Emails at Midnight · Loud & Lifted

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The Devil Emails at Midnight. It's not just a
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mood, it's a management red flag. Welcome to
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Loud and Lifted. I'm your host, Betsy Hamm. Today,
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I'm joined by marketing executive, two -time
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author, and workplace truth -teller, Meeda Malik,
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whose new book, The Devil Emails at Midnight,
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breaks down the 13 archetypes of bad bosses and
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how even well -meaning leaders can slip into
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them. We're talking toxic positivity versus realism,
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how to reengage a disengaged teammate without
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spin, what to do when you're stuck under a bad
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boss, and the leadership muscle at the center
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of it all, self -awareness. This episode is part
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mirror, part playbook. And if you ever thought,
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is it them or is it me? Good. We're going to
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answer that with candor, scripts you can use,
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and moves you can make today. Welcome to Loud
0:57
and Lifted. Meet Amalek. Thank you so much for
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being here. Okay, as we're recording this, we're
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11, 12 days away from your second book launch.
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So we so appreciate you being here. How are you
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doing? Is it easier when you're launching your
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second book? Gosh, what a great question. Thanks
1:15
for having me. I'm filled with anxiety and excitement.
1:19
I am a marketing executive and have been an HR
1:22
executive, so I treat my book like a product
1:24
launch. I've been quietly behind the screens
1:27
at this for a while. The second book, you learn
1:29
a lot more, and it's still tough to be an author
1:33
and try to generate revenue from writing. The
1:35
whole industry publishing has changed a lot,
1:38
so it's very different than I thought it would
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be. I can't imagine, so we appreciate you being
1:43
here. And when everyone hears this episode, your
1:45
book will be available. And that's what we're
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here to talk about today. So hopefully we can
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push those sales and generate some interest.
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The book is called The Devil Emails at Midnight.
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So talk about a great title, just really catches
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people's attention. So, tell us about the book.
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So, the title, The Devil Emails at Midnight,
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What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses,
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and the opening line of the book is, I've been
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a bad boss and chances are so have you. And so,
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I have been a person who has contributed a lot
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in the marketplace literature on how to survive
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a toxic workplace. The number one DM I get is,
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how do I survive this bad boss with something
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very personal and painful, something someone's
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going through, and it's just awful. And I thought
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to myself, I've certainly been a bad boss. And
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what if we all looked in the mirror and thought
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about the ways that we were not positively contributing
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to our work environment and doing something that
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was holding our teams back? Wouldn't we want
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to change that? And so that's the genesis of
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the book. And the 13 types that you talk about,
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how many have you actually experienced personally?
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Well, all of them. Yeah. So when you read the
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book, it's 13 archetypes of bad bosses, and I'm
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the last one. I end with myself. I couldn't write
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a book about how not to be a bad boss and not
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have humility and the courage to say I've been
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a bad boss. And so I go through different moments
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in my career of different types of bad bosses
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I've experienced. I say in the intro to The Devil
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Emails at Midnight, I have changed all the details,
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timeline. I don't want to shame, name, blame,
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demonize anyone. I hope that these bad bosses
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are now good leaders today. And I think that
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its context and situation matters. Someone who
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is a bad boss for me years later could be a good
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leader for you. We could be on the same team.
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someone who's a bad boss for me could actually
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be a good leader for you, right? So I think those
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things are important to keep in mind as well.
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Can they change? I think they can. Listen, I've
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learned the hard way in my career in life, and
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I'm sure you can attest to this, is that you
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can't change anyone. I can't change my husband,
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mother, kids. I mean, I'm trying to change my
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kids, but brother, friends. You have to look
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inside yourself and have enough self -awareness
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to say, I want to work on this one thing. And
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so bad bosses have to have that self -awareness.
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And there's a pendulum. it goes back and forth.
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I've been a really good leader and a bad boss.
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And then I've become a good leader again. Then
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something else happens, and I'm a bad boss. So
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that's important to keep in mind, too. It's not
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a permanent state of being a really good leader
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forever. We give ourselves grace that we're going
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to go back and forth in how we behave. Do you
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think nowadays there's a certain archetype that
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you see a lot of? Oh, that's a really good question.
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I think given the marketplace and how much is
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happening, I mean, we're sitting in the US right
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now, whether that's tariffs or interest rates.
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I mean, there's so many things happening that's
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affecting business day to day. One of my bad
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bosses, I also nickname all of them. And you'll
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see there's a reason for that. Part of my rationale,
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I think, is that I've always nicknamed my bad
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bosses, and it is to create emotional distance
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from them and to say, I could never be Medusa
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or the napper or the sheriff. Like, I could never
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behave that way, could I? And maybe it's not
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in that exacerbated form, but I do believe many
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of us on a small scale have exhibited those behaviors.
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One of the bosses I talk about is the cheerleader.
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And I call him the corporate Pied Piper. People
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loved. being in the office with him, following
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him around. He was an amazing coach, mentor,
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wanted to spend time with us. And so you're probably
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thinking, how is this the bad boss? Like, this
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doesn't make sense. He was filled with toxic
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positivity. It was rainbows and lollipops and
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popcorn and cotton candy until it wasn't anymore,
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because he was always surrounded by yes people
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and. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
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You can do this. I believe in you. Like this
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Instagram reel that was just becoming exhausting.
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And in the book, I talk about this one moment
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where we've launched this serial innovation.
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It's going gangbusters. It's selling so much.
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I don't recommend this, but people are eating
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cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, right?
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It's going really well. And supply chain comes
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to us and says there is an ingredient that we
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no longer can. procure like this ingredients
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no longer available for X number of months. We're
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not going to be able to sell this innovation.
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And so this is a big blow because you've got
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customers, you've got people wanting it to sell
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it. And so instead of coming up with an alternative
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plan or brainstorming and thinking about what
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we could do, he's like, we're going to add a
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million dollars to the forecast for this innovation.
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And we're like, what? He's like, you can do it.
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We can do it. Well, let's get let's go team.
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Let's go rallying, rallying, rallying. And so
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fast forward to the end of the story. What happens?
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It's my performance review. I'm sitting with
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the cheerleader and I don't get a merit increase.
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I get a bonus that does not cover my Starbucks
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addiction and I get a low rating and he's like,
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will you miss the forecast? And I'm like, huh?
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And so this idea of toxic positivity, and I think
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it's one of the traits of bad boss behavior that
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is really damaging that we don't talk enough
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about. Goals are changing given the marketplace
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conditions, and yet you still expect your team
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to meet it at all costs. It's not possible. So
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I'm working for you, Betsy. You have a goal that
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you've given my team for this quarter. The 10
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things I needed to get to that goal. I only now
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have three things, but you're still like push,
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push, push. You can do it rather than saying,
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OK, it seems like you can only get to 70 % or
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80%. What can we do? Let's be realistic together.
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And that is a really dangerous quality when you
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do not sit down with your teams and have that
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dose of realism. I'm not saying not to be optimistic
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and inspiring. I'm saying that realism is really
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important in this marketplace. It's not sustainable.
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To your point, things change and not hitting
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goals. But if you're not having realistic expectations,
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then you're never going to be able to achieve
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success. It's just not sustainable. What was
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the hardest boss to write about? That's a great
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question. There's 13 bosses. I'm one of them.
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Out of those 13, three really impacted my mental
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health. So one of the bosses that was really
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hard to write about was the sheriff and he was
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the well -liked bully. people really liked him
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and he was very well networked in the organization.
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He had like a deputy of sheriffs. I always joke,
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he was so tall that he could look into the frosted
8:14
glass conference room and like see who was in
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there. Like he could look in there, look over
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cubes, look into conference rooms. And when I
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entered the, when I reentered the workplace after
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business school, I decided to reclaim my full
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name, Madhumita Malik, which has been a source
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of joy and shame and embarrassment and pride.
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And a lot of people told me not to do it just
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to go by meetup. but I went into the workforce
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with this name at the time, post -business school.
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And he, the sheriff, decided he wouldn't call
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me Modemita or learn how to say it. He didn't
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want to call me Mita. And he decided to rename
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me Mohammed. And so it would be like, Mohammed,
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go get the sales samples. Mohammed, the agency's
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here. Go check them in security. Mohammed, are
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you coming to lunch? And even, Betsy, as I tell
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you this story, I like... have shame I cringe
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and I'm like it's horrible because I responded
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to a name that wasn't my own for longer than
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I'd like to admit and I remember one day being
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in his office I can remember clearly what the
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office looked like where I was sitting and I
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don't know how at this time I'm a junior marketer
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I mustered up the courage to say can you just
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call me Nita and he looks at me and he laughs
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and he says oh but Muhammad's so funny it's just
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funny And so that was a really painful one to
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write. And it's healing every time I share it.
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And now thousands and thousands of people are
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going to read it in the book. But it's a tough
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one to think about that I was in that position
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and let that happen to me, although I have a
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lot of grace and kindness for myself. And now
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I wonder what everyone else was doing as they
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watched this happen, particularly his peers and
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his boss. How long did this go on for? I would
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say like months. Yeah, I mean, I finally resigned.
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I mean, once it started happening, you know,
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I think my biggest piece of advice to people
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is where there's smoke, there's fire. And so
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when someone disrespects you the first time,
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it won't be the last. And I actually posted about
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this in social media recently, because if I was
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to give advice to my daughter or my son, who
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are still young and not not near being in the
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workplace yet, but I would say to them, stand
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up for yourself in that moment if you can, because
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bullies can really sense the fear. They can sense,
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and they like to target people who I believe
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are more quiet, was more introverted, shy, kept
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to myself, was really focused on doing the work.
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And I was not going to cause any trouble, because
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I wanted to be at this big brand name company.
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And so really just stand up for yourself and
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them, which is hard. It's easier said than done.
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Well, you were young, right? You shut it down.
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You were just out of school. So you have that,
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that you're kind of dealing with where you don't
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want to create waves. Yes. Yeah, absolutely.
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Oh my gosh. That's wild. And even when you tell
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the story, it just makes me feel so uncomfortable.
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I just can't imagine having that happen to me.
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But then also the people around you who saw that,
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they're just as guilty for not saying anything.
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Just as guilty. And this is what people keep
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saying to me. What do you think will... Change
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in the workplace what do you want to change what's
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your biggest hope and my biggest hope is that.
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We look out for each other we spend too much
11:18
time in our workplaces not to care about the
11:21
culture and it is the new york city subway when
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you see something say something and there are
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power dynamics at work if i'm the CEO doing something
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to you. You're not gonna necessarily feel comfortable
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in that moment to do something, but it's never
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too late to interrupt, to get help, to think
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of a plan of action, to ask others to intervene
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on your behalf. And then also just to spend time
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observing what's happening at work. I do this
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a lot in meetings and spaces and places and probably
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as a child and as an adult having been bullied,
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I just have gained a greater sense of empathy.
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I wasn't born with it, but I just think about
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that person suddenly seems quiet or their non
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-verbals are suggesting something or they're
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looking physically uncomfortable. Can I go check
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in? Can I help? And I hope we all can gain that
12:10
sense of awareness and watching what's happening
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at work. I love that. And it's so true. Sometimes
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some people are not comfortable advocating for
12:19
themselves, but maybe you're more comfortable
12:21
to advocate for someone else. So it's having
12:24
other people's back. I follow you on LinkedIn
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and you have some really incredible content.
12:28
You post a lot of great quotes, some great stories,
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and you can tell you've been burned quite a few
12:34
times through the years. How do you take this
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and obviously maybe writing the book is part
12:40
of this, but how do you make it positive of helping
12:44
to make sure it doesn't happen in your future,
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but then also teaching your children? I mean,
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even when we think about the title, the devil
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emails at midnight, the subtitle is what good
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leaders can learn from bad bosses. And it's a
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hopeful and positive book. And it's funny because
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the title is visceral. and evokes a lot of emotion
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and either you love it or you hate it right because
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i've had some people some companies they're like
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oh well we email at midnight we're not sure we
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want to bring you in well it's like let's have
13:08
that conversation that's really interesting that
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tension there and it's a people have read it
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some early readers are like this is a really
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hopeful book i'm like that's the point so even
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when i think about my social media and when i'm
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sharing on linkedin I'm sharing these lessons
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because I want people to know that if you're
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in a tough spot right now in your career, there
13:25
is light at the end of the tunnel. We do have
13:27
agency. We do have choice. If someone's listening
13:30
today and you're in a tough spot in your career,
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I'm not telling you to quit tomorrow. People
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have bills to pay. They need healthcare. It's
13:36
a tough market. I'm telling you to think about
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how can you rebuild your self -confidence? How
13:40
can you find other skills? How can you continue
13:43
to try to make impact at work and get those points
13:46
on the resume? And then also, Part of that is
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like what's the overall exit plan the strategy
13:51
plan? What are you working on? And so I always
13:54
want to share stories Storytelling is the way
13:57
that we connect and build community Storytelling
14:00
is what inspires people to change and it's also
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there's a hopeful message, right? There's like
14:05
there's a lot of hot tea, but it's like, okay
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So what do we learn from this? Like we can just
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rip on bad bosses or we can say no There's actually
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lessons we can learn on how to be good leaders
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here Do you think any of your bad bosses that
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are in this, that maybe they'll realize it's
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them? Do you think they'll read the book? Do
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you think they'll catch on? That's a really good
14:23
question. I've been asked that a few times. Yeah,
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I think that some of them aren't self -aware
14:28
enough to realize that they were bad bosses.
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I think the three that hurt me the most and harmed
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me the most, those are pretty specific. I mean,
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details have been changed. But again, I don't
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know if they will remember that they did those
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things and said those things to me. And also,
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I've worked in a lot of different spaces and
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places at this point. People forget when you
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work for a Fortune 100 company, there are times
14:54
in a year you'll have three bosses. Someone resigns.
14:58
They merge teams. That person moves. You're like,
15:00
great. I was just working for Betsy for three
15:02
months, and now I'm working for Meeda. And then
15:04
Meeda resigned, and now they don't know what
15:06
to do. So now I'm working for Jeff. That also
15:10
happens is like you have a lot of leaders in
15:12
your career and a lot of people that you have
15:15
to work for. Which chapter was your favorite
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chapter to write? Oh, my favorite chapter to
15:21
write. The one that gets a lot of giggles because
15:24
there's some heartbreaking stories and there's
15:26
some hilarious stories. The Napper. This was
15:30
my boss who fell asleep in every meeting. It
15:33
could be a large venue and it can be a small
15:34
menu and people venue and people will be like,
15:36
what, are you serious? I was like, you can call
15:38
my mother. She has all the receipts of my career.
15:40
I talked to my mom every day. And even when I
15:42
was writing this chapter, my mom was like, don't
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you remember he said this, this was years ago.
15:46
And I love that my mom remembers these stories,
15:49
but The napper, it's funny, right? Like, it's
15:52
kind of hilarious. It's outrageous. How is this
15:55
person sleeping on the job, literally? And in
15:59
the beginning, I had a lot of empathy because
16:01
I was trying to understand why he would fall
16:03
asleep. Is it that he's narcoleptic? Is it that
16:06
he has a substance abuse issue that he's dealing
16:08
with? Is he fighting with his partner? Is he
16:11
sleeping on the floor? Like, what's happening
16:12
that he's doing this? And it's really a story
16:15
of complete disengagement. And what happens when
16:18
you have an employee that completely does the
16:21
downward spiral and is like the middle finger
16:24
about work and they're showing up to every day
16:27
to work behaving this way and there's that famous
16:30
quote that says your culture becomes defined
16:33
by the worst behavior willing to tolerate and
16:36
that is what happened because he was a manager
16:38
and so he was also infecting the culture it just
16:41
spreads it's so contagious and so for me. While
16:44
that's a fun chapter to write, it was hilarious.
16:47
And also, I can't believe these things happened.
16:50
I'm remembering all the stuff that he did and
16:52
said. But one of the things I talk about in The
16:55
Devil Emails at Midnight is that it's packed
16:57
with research and tips and tools for leaders.
17:01
And Michael Murphy of Harvard University asks
17:03
this really powerful question that I included
17:05
in the book, which is, if someone is so disengaged,
17:09
Why don't we have the courage to take them out
17:12
to lunch coffee, hop on a Zoom, and just ask
17:14
how they're doing, and ask them this question.
17:17
What would it take to make you excited about
17:20
working here again? What a powerful question
17:24
just to check in with someone. And we all have
17:27
feelings. I'm not going to be like, Betsy, I
17:29
can't believe you keep showing up late, and you're
17:31
never at the team meetings. You don't respond
17:33
to the emails. in sort of that snarky, like,
17:36
annoyed way versus like, Betsy, I just wanted
17:38
to see how you're doing and ask you and stick
17:42
to the facts. I've observed the following things.
17:45
I've observed that you haven't made it to the
17:47
make it to the last three team meetings. I've
17:50
noticed that you don't respond to some of the
17:54
urgent deadlines that we need. And I have to
17:56
go to your team members. Like, you see what I'm
17:58
doing. I'm acting like a video recorder. I'm
18:00
just being very practical and saying, here are
18:02
the things I'm observing. what's going on and
18:04
how can I help? And I wish we had the courage
18:07
to do that more. You either help someone find
18:10
the joy back at work, find that spark again,
18:13
recommit, or you help them move on to what they're
18:16
meant to do next. No, I love that. And that's
18:19
so true. It's seeking to understand. Maybe there's
18:23
a perspective that you don't have. But I've also
18:26
been in a situation where somebody just needs
18:28
to have that freedom to be like, you know what,
18:30
I don't want to be here anymore. For whatever
18:33
reason, professionally and personally, it's just
18:35
time for them to move on. Sometimes people need
18:38
that space to be able to have those conversations.
18:40
And to your point, it's not aggressive. You're
18:42
not blaming them. It's just seeking to understand
18:45
what their perspective is. Not perfectly. class
18:56
never saw him falling asleep. He did. She did.
18:59
And at one point she screamed his name really
19:01
loudly and he woke up in the start. That's also
19:03
in that chapter. And I just to this day, I just
19:06
don't understand why she didn't help him move
19:08
on. And people have all kinds of excuses. I'm
19:11
waiting for another round of layoffs. I'm waiting
19:13
for Meeta to resign on her own. I actually can't
19:16
have Meeta leave now because I'll lose that head
19:19
count. Her team's carrying the weight. It's fine.
19:22
Or we have other plans. You've heard the litany
19:24
of excuses. We don't need excuses. But to this
19:27
day, I'm like, he's falling asleep in your meetings
19:30
and you're shouting his name, trying to wake
19:32
him up to get him to answer a question. I don't
19:36
even get it. That to me to this day is why I
19:38
don't understand why he stayed as long as he
19:41
did. Right. Well, that's crazy. So let's talk
19:43
about you. you bravely admit that you were a
19:46
bad boss at times too. So how did you recognize
19:48
those moments and what did you do to change or
19:51
make sure that you don't do it in the future?
19:53
Sure. So the last chapter is me. I'm the boss
19:57
who was grieving and couldn't show up for her
19:59
team. And I talk about how suddenly in 2017,
20:02
I lost my dad with one phone call from my mom,
20:05
my entire life changed and We don't talk enough
20:09
about grief in our home, in our community, certainly
20:11
not in our workplaces. At the time I had three
20:14
day bereavement leave policy for this company.
20:17
I was lucky, my team rallied around me and I
20:19
took three weeks off, but that's not the case
20:21
for everybody. And that's also another wonderful
20:24
example of... you know, leaders who do the right
20:27
thing when no one's looking over your shoulder.
20:29
Like you don't need to check an employee handbook
20:31
to do the right thing. Like someone suddenly
20:33
lost someone they love, rally around, support
20:36
them. But when I went back to work, I'll never
20:38
forget my boss then asked me like a series of
20:42
questions which were totally awful and intrusive.
20:45
Like, how did he die? How did it happen? Why
20:47
did it happen? Like all these things. And then
20:48
it was like, oh, you have your mojo back. I'm
20:51
glad to see you smiling. So it's like clear that
20:53
I couldn't be sad. And I buried the grief like
20:56
I was like burying it thinking I could leave
20:58
it at home, show up at work. And if anyone's
21:01
been on a grief journey and grief comes in so
21:03
many forms, it doesn't. happened that way. Grief
21:06
is relentless. Grief is inconvenient. Grief can
21:09
explode. And so all of the behaviors I talk about
21:12
in the book, I started exhibiting. I was micromanaging
21:16
details that didn't matter. I remember like 30
21:18
minutes before a big leadership meeting, I change
21:21
all these things in the deck and my team is like,
21:23
what's going on? I was disengaged, wouldn't show
21:26
up at work for days and then come back. I screamed
21:29
and yelled at people. I'm not proud of that.
21:31
And What ended up happening is during that time
21:34
someone who was a very high performer on my team
21:36
resigned and to see the exit interview notes
21:38
was the wake -up call and other things were happening
21:40
where people were saying I was in pain and When
21:45
you are not taking care of yourself and when
21:47
you're in pain in any form That is when these
21:50
bad behaviors come it's like stress induced like
21:53
that It all goes back to that like I keep saying
21:55
that the foundation of really good leadership
21:58
is taking care of ourselves. Because if we don't
22:01
take care of ourselves, we can't take care of
22:03
each other or anyone else for that matter. Okay.
22:07
I have to ask about Medusa just because of the
22:11
name, right? So intriguing. I can't wait to read
22:13
that chapter. So tell me about Medusa. So Medusa.
22:17
Well, there was no one in my point up until that
22:21
time working for her, not my parents, not my
22:23
husband, not my brother, not my friends. No one
22:26
had ever screamed and yelled at me. in that way.
22:28
She screamed, she yelled. She publicly, privately
22:32
berated, humiliated people. She was the equal
22:36
opportunity bully. Some bullies divide and conquer.
22:39
They isolate, right? The sheriff was like that.
22:41
He was a bully who isolated people. She was like
22:44
rip roaring on the floor. Everybody. She threw
22:47
a Chanel shoe at my colleague. True story. She
22:49
would throw pens and meetings, temper tantrums.
22:53
And what was really Interesting about that moment
22:56
in my career is that for the first few months,
22:59
I showed up to work scared every single day.
23:03
Imagine it's sort of this feeling. I live in
23:05
New Jersey. We have a lot of black bears that
23:07
will be around and like they'll be like a black
23:09
bear in your backyard or on your porch or eating
23:12
in your trash can. And it's like that, like that,
23:15
that visceral reaction, the adrenaline rush.
23:18
So when we're scared, our body has like a visceral
23:21
reaction. And I was like that every day at work.
23:24
And so that drove me to work harder because I
23:27
wanted to out pace her. I wanted to over achieve.
23:33
I wanted to exceed the goals. So she left me
23:37
alone. But what you end up realizing is that
23:39
you can't outwork a bully. And she was going
23:42
to get upset no matter what. And so then you're
23:45
tired of being scared. And so here's what I'll
23:47
say. Fear drives short term results. It absolutely
23:50
does. I just went through what was happening
23:52
with me. But then what happens is you start to
23:54
get tired. You start to go under the radar. You
23:57
start to think it doesn't matter what I do. She's
23:59
going to yell at me anyways. You start to slowly
24:02
get disengaged. It's like that flame and a candle.
24:06
The light is flickering. It's like fading. That's
24:08
how you feel. And then that's how fear absolutely
24:12
kills culture in the long term. And it was a
24:15
very large company. And I remember the first
24:17
team She managed was about 12 people. They all
24:22
left Within like 18 months that entire team turned
24:26
over was gone Then they moved her over to a second
24:28
team of another 12 to 14 people. I was voluntold
24:32
I had no choice. I was moved to that team. What
24:34
do you think happened then? 16 months later,
24:37
everybody's gone again. Everyone's left that
24:39
team So if you have any of these bosses that
24:44
we're talking about that people are gonna read
24:46
Besides leaving that's the obvious choice. What
24:49
are some other tactics or tools that people can
24:52
use that they're dealing with? I love that question
24:54
because I dedicated the book to my kids and you'll
24:58
read the forward when you read the book and as
25:01
a mother coach friend leader I wouldn't advise
25:06
that you resign every time you have a bad boss
25:08
like context matters matters If you are working
25:12
for the Medusa or for Shara or Tony Soprano,
25:16
who you'll hear about in the book, another bad
25:18
boss who really impacted my mental health. Those
25:20
are moments where you have to sort of think about
25:22
how long am I going to take this because I'm
25:24
losing pieces of myself. Now, if you worked for
25:27
me many years ago and I'm sorry and I was micromanaging
25:30
Nita, I wasn't throwing Chanel shoes. Right.
25:33
There's sort of a spectrum of bad bosses. So
25:35
in that case, you might say, I can't stand working
25:38
for Mito. What am I going to do here? But I can't
25:40
resign. I can't leave. It's not that bad. What's
25:42
the plan? The plan is the following. You're going
25:45
to have an expiration date. You're going to almost
25:47
do like a vision board. You're going to say,
25:48
I'm going to work for micromanaging Mito for
25:50
six months to a year. That's my commitment. I'm
25:52
going to pull up my resume. I'm going to pull
25:55
it up and actually create bullet points of what
25:58
I want to accomplish. Isn't that cool? In the
26:00
next six to 12 months. So I'm committing to myself.
26:02
Take that energy and say, here's what I'm going
26:04
to do. Get your resume updated. Always, always,
26:07
always. I don't care if you're happy in your
26:09
job. Always have the resume updated. Start also
26:12
networking within the company. Start finding
26:14
other leaders and peers where you could be doing
26:16
interesting projects and working with them. And
26:19
then start to activate your external network.
26:21
You should always be looking. I mean, particularly
26:23
in this market, always be looking. But I think
26:25
that expiration date is important. And then trying
26:28
to take that energy that can be really, it can
26:32
create the downward spiral. You can end up becoming
26:35
the napper. Maybe not to that degree. You could
26:37
be so irritated and happy and just start to spiral.
26:41
So you don't want to get there. And then the
26:42
last piece of advice is when you're in a tough
26:44
situation at work, whether it's you're being
26:47
micromanaged, you're being screamed at, yelled
26:49
at, all kinds of bad boss behaviors that you
26:52
were the target of it can really chip away your
26:55
confidence i was just talking to a friend this
26:57
morning about this like you can really chip away
26:59
your confidence and so. Find something outside
27:02
of work that sparks joy for you that helps you
27:05
continue to maintain your confidence for me that's
27:07
writing it could be volunteering in the local
27:10
community it could be being a coach for your
27:13
kids team or for the local school it could be
27:16
rediscovering a childhood hobby. or just really
27:20
embracing something new that you can consistently
27:22
do that makes you feel happy. Oh, my gosh. That
27:25
is amazing advice. I love that so much. When
27:28
people read your book, what is the biggest takeaway
27:31
you want them to have when they're done or what
27:34
do you want them to do? I mean, listen, it's
27:36
really easy to nickname your bad boss, a Disney
27:39
villain or a Marvel character. I've certainly
27:41
done that. I want everyone to read this book
27:44
and then look in the mirror and think about.
27:45
What if I'm doing one thing that's capping the
27:48
potential of my team or peers? Am I willing to
27:51
sit in the silence and just think about that?
27:53
That there might be one way in which I'm behaving
27:57
that's not optimal. I think most people is reading
27:59
the book aren't going to be the sheriff or Medusa,
28:02
but we're going to have sort of a wide range
28:04
of behaviors. I want us to take accountability,
28:06
find one thing we want to work on and share it
28:08
with someone at work. that you trust and say,
28:11
I know I have a habit of micromanaging, and I
28:13
really want to work on it this year. And Betsy,
28:15
I'd love for you to hold me accountable. And
28:17
I'm giving you the space to do that. When you
28:19
see me saying that or doing this, please, please
28:23
say something and help me. That's so great. And
28:26
to your point, it makes it actionable and something
28:29
that's positive. Sure, it's fun to read about
28:31
the characters, although they weren't characters.
28:34
They're real life people by the time this episode
28:37
is out. Your book is out. Where can everybody
28:39
find your book and more information about you?
28:43
Yeah, you can find it on Amazon. You can find
28:45
it at Barnes and Noble. You can find it anywhere.
28:47
You buy your books, local independent booksellers.
28:49
And you can find me on LinkedIn. It's my preferred
28:52
social media platform. I love meeting new people.
28:54
And meet amalek .com. And I am doing speaking
28:56
engagements on the book. So would welcome. Any
29:00
messages I'm hearing from you? Thanks so much
29:01
for this amazing conversation. I know your life
29:03
is crazy right now, and I can't wait to read
29:06
your book. So best of luck with the launch. Thank
29:09
you. All right. Deep breath. If you recognized
29:11
a boss and those archetypes, you're not alone.
29:14
If you recognize yourself, that's self -awareness.
29:17
Own it, repair it, and do better tomorrow. Huge
29:20
thanks to Meeda for the clarity and the courage.
29:23
If this hit home with you, share it with another
29:25
woman who needs that backup right now. Subscribe,
29:28
leave a review, and follow us on Instagram for
29:30
more leadership advice. And don't forget to pick
29:33
up Meeda's new book, The Devil Emails at Midnight.
29:36
Until next time, leave with clarity, protect
29:38
your peace, and always stay loud and lifted.