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Transcript

I Use AI to Catch Myself Lying to Myself · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  Everybody's scared AI is going to replace them.
• 0:02
  I use it every single day, and I'll tell you the truth.
• 0:06
  AI is never going to replace you.
• 0:09
  It will, however, expose you.
• 0:11
  Because AI doesn't make you better, it makes you more of what you already are.
• 0:17
  A disciplined person with AI becomes unstoppable.
• 0:21
  A lazy person with AI just becomes faster at being lazy.
• 0:25
  It's an amplifier.
• 0:26
  It turns the volume up on who you already decided to be.
• 0:31
  And here's where I lose people.
• 0:33
  Most folks use the most powerful thinking tool in human history to write emails and make memes.
• 0:42
  I use it to catch myself lying to myself.
• 0:46
  Yep, I still do it.
• 0:49
  Every morning before the world gets loud, I sit down with it.
• 0:53
  I feed it my journal, my numbers, my plan for the day.
• 0:58
  And I don't ask it to agree with me.
• 1:01
  I ask it to interrogate me.
• 1:03
  Where am I avoiding myself?
• 1:06
  Actually, what am I pretending not to see?
• 1:08
  What would the man I'm trying to become do that the man I am today is too comfortable to do?
• 1:16
  What am I avoiding?
• 1:18
  What am I missing?
• 1:19
  Point out the blind spots.
• 1:22
  I run my hardest decisions through it before I make them.
• 1:26
  I make it argue with me.
• 1:28
  I use it to find the pattern in my own behavior that I've been too close to see for 40 years.
• 1:35
  Now hear me clearly, because this matters.
• 1:39
  AI is a mirror, not a master.
• 1:43
  It's not your therapist.
• 1:45
  It is not your judgment.
• 1:47
  I still do the deep work with real humans,
• 1:50
  But as a daily tool to think sharper, move faster, and stop fooling myself, nothing has ever come close.
• 1:58
  So today, I'm going to walk you through exactly how I use it.
• 2:03
  The real systems, not the hype.
• 2:06
  Let's go.
• 2:08
  Welcome back, Heart and Life Nation.
• 2:10
  I'm going to regret doing this, but I'm absolutely going to offer this.
• 2:15
  All of the tools that I use for AI are connected to my national technology management, which is my cybersecurity company.
• 2:23
  So if you email me with questions, Kelly at harder than life.com, I will respond.
• 2:29
  It will be me.
• 2:30
  It may take me a minute, but I will respond, but make it questions regarding either this podcast or one of the other ones.
• 2:37
  So keep in mind, I just said it.
• 2:39
  I run an AI cybersecurity company.
• 2:42
  but I'm still very, very careful on how I leverage AI.
• 2:46
  I use it as something to argue with me.
• 2:49
  I can't tell you this enough.
• 2:51
  I wanna be specific, it's not gonna be a techie episode, it's just I wanna share with you, like I do everything else with the mindset and the physicality.
• 3:00
  I wanna show you the tools that I use every day.
• 3:05
  Take the message, leave the mess, and I'm gonna show you actual daily systems, not theory, because you know I'm always giving you guys the proof and not a promise.
• 3:18
  Again, I'm living this every day, but I'm getting better and better and better, so I'll record more and more and more of these episodes as I learn new techniques and tricks.
• 3:29
  Again,
• 3:30
  I want you to understand something.
• 3:31
  AI will not replace you.
• 3:33
  It will expose you.
• 3:34
  And exposure is that pain that says growth is happening.
• 3:40
  So don't run from exposure, guys.
• 3:41
  I get it all the time.
• 3:43
  My AI says some things to me that, yeah, it's things just like me.
• 3:48
  It says things that make me, wow, I didn't think of that.
• 3:52
  And it's a good thing.
• 3:54
  You don't always want
• 3:56
  everybody to agree with you.
• 3:57
  That's why social media is such so addicting because it keeps showing you more and more of what you already want to see.
• 4:06
  And it's a, it's confirmation bias.
• 4:07
  That's how it keeps you on the thing.
• 4:09
  So literally if you prompt it, it's going to agree with you every time if you prompt it incorrectly.
• 4:17
  So I want
• 4:21
  you to really work on your discipline.
• 4:24
  Ask it to disagree with you.
• 4:26
  Ask it to point out the blind spots.
• 4:28
  You've heard me say this a million times, garbage in, garbage out.
• 4:33
  No tool will fix a person who won't do the work.
• 4:36
  AI just speeds up your existing path.
• 4:40
  And believe me, I was very skeptical.
• 4:43
  And then I got systematic.
• 4:46
  when I first started using it, I'm like, Oh, this is, this is silly.
• 4:50
  And I kept going down the pathway and I read this book about how to correctly prompt.
• 4:57
  And then I tweaked it, tweaked it, tweaked it.
• 5:00
  And then I built in other systems.
• 5:02
  So it's like my body.
• 5:06
  I started with pushups and sit ups.
• 5:09
  then I did bench presses and squats and now I do everything.
• 5:13
  So it started with simple, write me an email.
• 5:17
  Uh, then it's now it's, I have full blown and I'm going to get into this back and forth interpretations of the people that are coaching me therapy.
• 5:27
  I have an entire IFS and integrated family systems chat that I went through to interpret all of what I was going through my feelings and uh,
• 5:37
  Yeah, it's tough.
• 5:40
  What I love about it is it's not like your best friend.
• 5:42
  It's how I've programmed it.
• 5:43
  Your best friend tends to agree with you.
• 5:45
  Your greatest friend is the one that doesn't agree with you, and that's what I've built.
• 5:49
  So, yeah, I know you're probably thinking, oh, this is crazy, but I'm going to tell you that the tool is free, but the standard isn't.
• 5:57
  Everyone has access to it, and what separates people is the standard they bring to it.
• 6:02
  And if you've been following me for any time, you understand, my standards are up here.
• 6:06
  Some of you have already stopped on this episode.
• 6:08
  You're like, this guy's crazy.
• 6:10
  And that's okay.
• 6:11
  I'm not for everybody.
• 6:12
  But my standards are high and I don't negotiate with myself.
• 6:15
  So let's get right into how I actually use it from sunup to sundown.
• 6:22
  Oh, keep in mind, too, guys, I pay for it.
• 6:25
  I have several of them.
• 6:26
  I've tried them all.
• 6:27
  I'm not affiliated, so I'm going to try to keep it agnostic.
• 6:32
  I have no affiliation and these things are always changing.
• 6:35
  But I have tried every single one of them from Grok, the Claude to Co-Pilot.
• 6:41
  Um.
• 6:43
  tried another one and I can't remember what it is.
• 6:45
  I've paid for every single one of them.
• 6:47
  And right now we even have added ones I've never heard of, Hermes, a lot, a lot, perplexity.
• 6:57
  So when I'm gonna give you these tools, if you wanna know specifically which ones, email me kelly at heartofthelife.com and I'll tell you.
• 7:03
  So in the mornings, actually all day, every day, I make it interrogate me and I literally have it in the things that do not agree with me, point out all my blind spots.
• 7:14
  which if you know me for a minute, I say I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
• 7:18
  That's my favorite line because I do so much research and so much reading and you guys hear my interviews.
• 7:25
  So I learn, I'm gonna learn it all.
• 7:28
  I don't ask AI for the answers.
• 7:31
  I make it cross examine my rationale, my excuses, my path.
• 7:36
  So AI will reframe the answer
• 7:40
  from the answer machine to an accountability mirror.
• 7:44
  So I really want you to understand that.
• 7:46
  And one of the biggest problems in this world is none of us wanna be accountable.
• 7:51
  So it takes a little getting used to when every time you prompt it, it tells you you're wrong.
• 7:57
  I've kind of understood it now, so I give it a lot more detail because if I skip one piece, it will point out that piece.
• 8:06
  But I do make it argue against me.
• 8:09
  So before big calls, I take the opposing side.
• 8:12
  So I stress test my own logic because I don't know everything.
• 8:17
  I make it a joke.
• 8:18
  I don't.
• 8:19
  I know very little to be completely blunt.
• 8:21
  The only difference is I keep going until I get what I came for.
• 8:26
  And here's the big thing.
• 8:28
  It will use numbers.
• 8:30
  till it finds a pattern that I'm avoiding.
• 8:33
  And there's so much of it that we see.
• 8:36
  Man, if you just wanna talk about dating, I see some of y'all making the same decision over and over, go from partner to partner to partner.
• 8:43
  And the same thing happens in fitness, and the same thing happens in business.
• 8:47
  So use it to pressure test.
• 8:50
  your workouts, your nutrition, your recovery, your business, your relationships.
• 8:56
  Have it measure though.
• 8:58
  Give it measurable data so it's not guessing.
• 9:04
  I have to do a lot of writing.
• 9:06
  I use it as my sparring partner, not as my ghostwriter.
• 9:10
  It sharpens my thinking
• 9:13
  along with all of my output.
• 9:15
  You still bring the truth.
• 9:16
  It's still all of my knowledge.
• 9:19
  It just sharpens it.
• 9:20
  And you guys remember, I'm still a kid from 8 Mile.
• 9:24
  I'm still a little ghetto.
• 9:26
  I say some slang that I shouldn't.
• 9:29
  What do they say?
• 9:29
  You take the boy out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the boy.
• 9:33
  So I use it as my sparring partner to clean up some of my slang, so to speak.
• 9:43
  I build agents, so it does the repetitive things.
• 9:48
  Specifically, we have an email and assistant scheduling agent.
• 9:52
  We call her Jane and it does 25 to 50% of my administrative tasks.
• 10:00
  You guys have heard me over and over and over tell you hire an executive assistant.
• 10:06
  Well, I kept going through them and cycling through them and cycling through them because my standards are so high and people don't like to be held accountable.
• 10:14
  Probably also too, because I'm a poor communicator because I don't know how to get out of my head my expectations for people.
• 10:21
  I just want to win.
• 10:22
  So it's probably more me.
• 10:24
  It's a bot that I can train and it allows me to be more creative.
• 10:29
  time to be creative and to think and to really just sit and and just recharge and restore so at night i will feed into it a fast review of my day where did i slip where did i go off and and funny thing is is most of where i'm slipping right now i know and and we're gonna know these things that's what's frustrating about it just points out it's like your mother you
• 10:51
  That's how a light feels like.
• 10:53
  It's like a mother.
• 10:53
  They point out what you already know.
• 10:55
  And when you hear you from your mother, I know, mom.
• 10:57
  I know.
• 10:57
  I know.
• 10:59
  But you can then prompt the AI to say, well, if I already know this, why am I not doing it?
• 11:04
  Oh, but brace yourself.
• 11:06
  Brace yourself, folks.
• 11:07
  It is an honest debrief.
• 11:10
  And you can ask it to look at all of your chats so far and give you the honest review.
• 11:16
  And, uh, Oh my God, it's, um, it's a punch in the face guys, but this is what we need.
• 11:20
  You know, you guys see me holding up that mirror all the time.
• 11:23
  I usually have the mirror.
• 11:25
  Um,
• 11:27
  If used correctly, this will level up your life.
• 11:30
  So here's what people think, oh, you're outsourcing your thinking.
• 11:35
  And if you do that, your brain is a muscle.
• 11:40
  So it needs to be exercise.
• 11:43
  So you're not using AI to do all of your thinking because you'll have muscle atrophy in your brain and convenience.
• 11:52
  can atrophy that exact muscle you're trying to grow.
• 11:55
  And that's not what we're trying to do.
• 11:56
  We just wanted to use it to fact check, to make us smarter, make us better, make us faster.
• 12:02
  Really, it's just faster.
• 12:04
  Understand that convenience is not the same as growth.
• 12:08
  AI making it easy can quietly make you weaker if you let it do the thinking for you.
• 12:14
  So,
• 12:16
  make certain that it's your thoughts, your real world activities, your real world data going in there.
• 12:26
  Because people will know, by the way, I haven't released anything that's 100% AI without any input from me.
• 12:32
  So you guys will know, you'll know the authenticity wouldn't be there.
• 12:37
  These AI agents,
• 12:40
  And he's not going to replace us.
• 12:41
  I can't keep telling you.
• 12:43
  You can see as my content is getting better and these podcasts are getting better.
• 12:48
  All it does is amplify my outputs and therefore will get you to your outcomes, which is your goals.
• 12:55
  Keep in mind, you want this thing to challenge you, not coddle you.
• 13:00
  It is the cheapest coach on earth.
• 13:02
  Don't use it to make memes and silly, stupid things.
• 13:07
  You don't want to waste the genius tool on the trivial.
• 13:11
  It's a mirror, not your master.
• 13:14
  It is there, reflects exactly back to you, who you are and what you do.
• 13:21
  It doesn't get to drive.
• 13:23
  It won't drive unless you literally say, do this for me.
• 13:27
  And that is absolutely not what you want to do.
• 13:32
  You always want to keep your humanness in this loop.
• 13:36
  AI doesn't replace the real inner work with real people.
• 13:40
  You must be honest with yourself.
• 13:43
  So I do use it to fact check things and to reverberate back to me interpretations of my feelings.
• 13:54
  I will record certain meetings and sessions and I will then drop the transcript in there and I will prompt it and say, what did I miss?
• 14:03
  What was in here that,
• 14:07
  that was important that I probably didn't interpret correctly.
• 14:11
  All right.
• 14:12
  We're going to get into the tools that I use.
• 14:16
  I'm not going to name them by name, but again, if you email me, Kelly, at harderthanlife.com, I will tell you what I'm using at this particular time.
• 14:24
  And more than likely, as AI grows, I will change.
• 14:29
  I have noticed myself, I started off loving ChatGPT, then I went to Grok,
• 14:35
  and I went to Claude and I went back to chat GBT.
• 14:38
  Then I went back to Claude and I find myself using a mirror of things.
• 14:42
  Oh, and the entire time I also have co-pilot because it's included with my Microsoft and NTM is a Microsoft shop.
• 14:48
  So we use that.
• 14:49
  So.
• 14:50
  Morning mirror, that's my tool number one.
• 14:52
  I feed it my journal, my thoughts, my feelings, and I get it to prime me and say, where am I avoiding myself?
• 15:00
  And I sit back and honestly think, one of the things that I love guys is I love feedback.
• 15:07
  What's beautiful about the AI feedback is there's, it's not coming from a childhood wound.
• 15:12
  So if you're talking to your best friend, you're talking to your mother, you're talking to anybody, a vendor,
• 15:19
  an employee, coworker, it's coming from their life experience.
• 15:23
  It's coming through their lens.
• 15:25
  So it's always going to be skewed.
• 15:28
  With AI, it's not.
• 15:29
  I literally look at it and say, what am I avoiding?
• 15:32
  And I tell it to make me point out what I avoided and do it tomorrow.
• 15:39
  I hate to say this.
• 15:39
  I'm going to say this, but it's harsh.
• 15:42
  It helped me identify myself.
• 15:45
  a bottleneck, an NTM that I knew was there, but it pointed it out so clearly.
• 15:50
  And the reason why I didn't wanna say it is because it affected somebody that I had to part ways with and I love that person very dearly, but it pointed it out with just the facts and it made the decision clear as day.
• 16:02
  So I feed it my thoughts and feelings, tell it to give me the uncomfortable truth and then I make it the task for the day.
• 16:09
  Second way that I use it,
• 16:12
  And this one is the best one, folks.
• 16:13
  Write this one down.
• 16:14
  I call it the excuse interrogator.
• 16:17
  Literally put your reasons in your AI and let it tear them apart.
• 16:22
  Have it be your cross examiner.
• 16:24
  I'm telling you.
• 16:25
  Something as simple as why am I avoiding the gym?
• 16:29
  I've gone two times this week but missed it because I was tired.
• 16:35
  I was too busy at work.
• 16:36
  I was think.
• 16:37
  And it'll tell you.
• 16:40
  Show me your schedule and then it'll point out, you know, you're lying to yourself.
• 16:45
  It will absolutely point out the uncomfortable truth that you know to be right.
• 16:49
  So the excuse interrogator, it will tell you the truth.
• 16:52
  And then I want you to keep only what survives their grilling.
• 16:56
  Whatever excuse hold up.
• 16:58
  And it will tell you.
• 16:59
  Yeah, that was a legitimate excuse.
• 17:00
  You did a lot this week, Kelly, and you were exhausted.
• 17:03
  So you were right to rest up.
• 17:05
  I did that actually yesterday.
• 17:07
  I was supposed to record this episode yesterday.
• 17:08
  I recorded it today.
• 17:11
  but it will point out the real excuse versus the fake ones.
• 17:15
  So this is not for the faint of heart, but we all need this.
• 17:18
  And it's not an opinion.
• 17:20
  It is literally facts.
• 17:21
  If you've prompted it correctly.
• 17:23
  The third method I use this is the decision stress test.
• 17:28
  This one is good as that excuse interrogator is.
• 17:31
  This one is a big one, especially with how many decisions I have to make per day.
• 17:36
  I,
• 17:37
  make it my strongest opposing voice.
• 17:40
  Before I make a big call, I have an argue the other side as hard as possible.
• 17:46
  What are the positives?
• 17:47
  What are the negatives?
• 17:48
  Drill me on it.
• 17:49
  And then I keep going down until I'm comfortable with the decision.
• 17:53
  It is literally making me the man of steel and not a man of straw.
• 17:59
  It forces the best version of the counter argument,
• 18:03
  So the decision is bulletproof.
• 18:05
  I don't know how many times I've made a decision in my life where I completely forgot and misjudged one part of a decision and went, oh, I didn't even think of that.
• 18:16
  And it's come back to bite me in the butt.
• 18:19
  And remember,
• 18:20
  You decide, not the AI.
• 18:24
  You own the call, AI just pressure tested it.
• 18:27
  Very, very important to make sure that you're making the final decision.
• 18:32
  There has been many times that AI has made a recommendation that I've deviated from.
• 18:37
  And I also feed in the reason why I'm deviating and I ask it to stress test that.
• 18:44
  Method number four, of four by the way that I use AI.
• 18:49
  the pattern catcher.
• 18:50
  This one is so much of us.
• 18:52
  We listen to words, we listen to inputs, and we don't notice patterns.
• 18:59
  So I feed it months and months of data.
• 19:04
  You can give it your journals.
• 19:05
  You can give it meeting notes from months past.
• 19:09
  You can give it your calendar.
• 19:12
  And some of these, you can even connect all this.
• 19:15
  Most of them you can now.
• 19:16
  You can connect your Google.
• 19:18
  I'm not a Google person, but that's why I use Copilot because Microsoft catches all that.
• 19:22
  But you can give it all the data and ask it, where am I slipping?
• 19:27
  And it'll tell you.
• 19:28
  And most of us know this already.
• 19:30
  Spend too much time on social media.
• 19:31
  We're spending too much time partying, drinking.
• 19:35
  spending too much time wasting time.
• 19:38
  Ask it what keeps repeating and what's holding you back.
• 19:40
  Surface the loop you're too close to see or your friends are too nice to tell you.
• 19:47
  Remember, misery loves company, man.
• 19:49
  And as much as your friends love you, they also, some of them don't wanna see you grow because then they have to grow.
• 19:57
  Pro tip, feed it in your bills.
• 19:59
  It'll tell you where you're spending erroneously.
• 20:02
  You can even do the relationships.
• 20:04
  Why do I keep repeating this pattern, but be honest with it.
• 20:08
  And then as a guardrail, when the AI points out the pattern, take that healing to a real person, not a prompt.
• 20:15
  If you're noticing something and you have a coach, go to your coach.
• 20:18
  I read my prompts right to the coach.
• 20:20
  It helped us get through IFS therapy from 12 months to five months because I was able to in between sessions, feed everything in there.
• 20:28
  And I would read the prompt back and she'd say, that's right.
• 20:30
  This is wrong.
• 20:31
  or this is wrong and that's right, or let's run with that.
• 20:34
  Fact check it with the person.
• 20:36
  And if you're not sure who to go to, email me.
• 20:38
  That's what I'm here for, guys.
• 20:41
  All right, AI is here, man.
• 20:45
  What will you amplify?
• 20:46
  AI multiplies whoever shows up, so decide who that is for you.
• 20:54
  Stop using this amazing tool to do trivia BS.
• 21:00
  I want you to point it all to your growth to get you to live your best life, get you to be happier and healthier than life.
• 21:10
  Not just for chores and entertainment.
• 21:14
  I want you to start tomorrow with one problem.
• 21:17
  Give it one single action first.
• 21:21
  Where am I avoiding life tomorrow morning?
• 21:26
  Ask it, where am I avoiding?
• 21:31
  But most importantly, people, build the person and then add the tool.
• 21:38
  Your character first and then leverage AI around it.
• 21:41
  If you're drinking, drugging, lying and avoiding life and you're not being harder than life, you're being easier than life, there's no tool that's going to help you.
• 21:51
  But hopefully you've listened to this 25 minutes into this.
• 21:54
  Hopefully you listen all the way to the end.
• 21:56
  And this could help you because it's helping me.
• 22:00
  And then I can show you how to add more tools.
• 22:02
  The number one thing is I want you to raise your standards and protect your mission.
• 22:07
  Remember, I am living in joy, peace, and purpose.
• 22:12
  And they were cultivated, and I worked very, very, very hard to get there.
• 22:17
  My mission, my purpose is to help each and every one of you.
• 22:21
  I ask you to send this to one person who's scared of AI.
• 22:25
  or someone that's talking bad about AI, and I implore them to say, reach out to me, kellyathardandlife.com, and say, where are you stuck?
• 22:34
  I will help you.
• 22:35
  And also, too, if you email me, I have a bunch of prompts.
• 22:38
  I have posted them, but I'll send you specific prompts for specific issues that you're wanting to address.
• 22:44
  And then I want you to do something special for me.
• 22:46
  Guys, post how you used AI and tag me.
• 22:51
  Tag me how you say, I learned, I did this.
• 22:53
  I used it to amplify my time.
• 22:55
  I used it to stop being in toxic relationships.
• 23:00
  I used it to add 10 pounds of muscle.
• 23:03
  I've used it to love myself more.
• 23:06
  I used it to graduate from talk therapy to go to hypnotherapy or EMDR therapy or IFS or something more.
• 23:15
  I used it to get to the next level.
• 23:17
  That's all I ask.
• 23:18
  Tag me on that.
• 23:19
  And Hunter Life Nation, go build.
• 23:22
  This is harder than life.
• 23:24
  I'll see you next Thursday.
• 23:25
  I'm going to do more and more of these.
• 23:27
  Until next week, be awesome, be kind.
• 23:30
  Please rate and share this podcast.
• 23:31
  I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Seagull supporters.
• 23:35
  Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with.
• 23:42
  Delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity.
• 23:47
  Visit trustntm.com for more info.
• 23:50
  Until next week, be harder than life.