Latest / Let's Ask the Mamas! / 40s Drama

Transcript

40s Drama · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mama's, how
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: can I help my teenager through teen drama when I'm
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: still dealing with the same stuff at forty five.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our American mama's.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Mama.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: Mama, she said.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, Joding is now our American mama's Terry Nedville and
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Kimberly Burlison. So wait, teen drama in your forties. We're
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: still dealing with teen drama in our forties?
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Is that?
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Is that what this question is?
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: Well, I feel like this mom, I think there's never
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: an end to it. I actually feel like drama is drama.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: It doesn't matter how old you are. But I'm going
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: to suggest to everybody, and this is a term that
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: Terry coined years ago, be the cusp girl that's cuss
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: see us sp. Be the girl on the cusp, Be
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: the boy on the cusp. If you were a cussp person,
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: it means you're not a part of clicks. It means
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: you stay out of drama. But it means people still
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: like you. But that includes high school. It means that
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: you're friends with everybody. You're just kind of friends with everybody,
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: but you're not in any particular clique. But also I
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: feel like I'm a cusp girl. But I have friends,
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: but I know specifically what each friend brings to my life,
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: and they're all separate, you know. I've got the vault
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: friend where my secrets, you know, whatever, you know, stupid secret,
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: but where I can share things that I don't want
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: anybody to know. Yeah, but i have another friend that
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: I love just as much that I can never tell any.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Secret to because that's how it is published, exactly, okay.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: And then I've got the girl that tells me straight
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: to my face what I need to hear, what everybody
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: else would be afraid to tell me. I've got the
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: friend that's my spiritual sister, you know. And then I've
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: got the girl I like to travel with. They're all
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: separate and we don't do anything together. The pro is
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: that you have all these deeper friendships. The con you're
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: not going to be invited on girls' trips, yeah, you know.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: I mean you're not going to be a part of
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: probably some big parties or neighborhood parties or that kind
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: of thing. But I feel like it keeps to you peaceful,
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: keeps your heart soul peaceful.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: So I guess so for this mom who's dealing with
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: her own daughter going through teenage stuff. And what Kimberly
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: was alluding to is sometimes the mean girls that people
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: talk about, they end up being mean moms and so they.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Now, was it your dad who used to always say
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: that grown ups are just little people and big people's.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yes, adults are just little kids and big bodies.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's kind of if you're dealing with teenage
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: drama in your forties, that kind of proves that rule,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: doesn't it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Well, what's interesting is as you evolve from your teen years,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: you kind of recognize people for who they are and
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: you know who to keep it arms length distance. And
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: so that's a healthy way to do it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: And it's good to be a.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Part of groups like our sister Lindsay is on her
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: girls trip right now with her college best friends, and
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: then she's got some mountain best friends they met when
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: they worked on a ranch.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Mountain, well, they worked on Triangle X ranch.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: So and those are fun you know, we have that,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: you know, my sisters and I we take our girl's trip,
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: you know, those are those are my everything, girl, Those
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: are my besties for life. But being a When I
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: say the word cusp girl, sometimes people might think that
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: that's a derogatory term for somebody.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: It's not, it's not.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: It's like I can see different different friends of mine
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: that are in groups that they have these parties or
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: they have these trips, and I love everybody. I know everybody,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: and I love everybody.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I know they love me.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: And I don't get my feelings hurt for not being
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: included because I know that I am, for lack of
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: a better word, a cusp girl, and that I don't
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: they know I don't have to be included in order
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: for us.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: To be tight, know, I mean, so they know.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: So I'm just I'm probably like if I look at
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: some of these groups, I'm like, I'm closer to this
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: girl than this girl is to her. But that doesn't
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: change the dynamics for me. So all of this to say,
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: if I'm telling my teenage daughter anything, if I'm giving
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: her advice about this at this age, I would just say,
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: be yourself, let your light shine. If you do feel jealous,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: come talk to me about it. Don't talk about anybody else.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Don't be that girl. You know, I didn't even get included,
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: because that's not a good look, kind of desperate. And
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I would say let your light shine, because I promise you,
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: as these girls get out of high school and they
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: get into college and they in their own lives are
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: happy and they're getting married, they'll remember that you were
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: the true blue. That you never talked about them, You
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: never cause drama in their life, You never call strife
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: with their boyfriend. You never They always relied on you
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: for a warm smile, a kind word, a big hust.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: See the beauty and being a customer. Yes, see it
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: as a positive.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: It's a comfortable place for me because then that way,
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: like I have friends too that know everything about me.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: You know that they know my secrets. You know, I'm
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: very open. I'm an open book.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Anyway, it sounds you're you're basically saying there's some fluidity
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: with what with how you interact with people. Yes, so
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: that there's some people that you do go deep with. Yes,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: but that's a smaller group than the group that you're
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: able to just be open and friendly with.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: And I'm human, So it's like you do look at
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: sometimes you're like I would have loved to have been
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: included in that, but that's only for a second, and
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: then you let it go because it doesn't change the.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Way I love somebody or I love a group. So
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: you are human.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: You're like, oh, that would have been fine, And I
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: know what I bring to the table. But I love
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: where I am because I know people can rely on me.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I know I'm a good.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Friend to this person that I met at church, to
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: this person that I've known since I was a little girl.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: It also sounds like you're being intentional about not collecting offence.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Right right, Oh very much, because then that is a
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: huge lesson for a young person because I don't carry
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: you for your whole life. Yes, it feels good not
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: to be offended. Push back those feelings if you can,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: and go to your balt girls, those are my sisters,
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: and share those things and they kind of help you
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: out of it. But when you get to the place
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: where you are not easily offended, you're happier.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you like to ask our American mama is
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: a question. Good to our website American ground Ready dot
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: com slash mamas and click on the ask The moment's
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: button turned out of Kimberly Brothers and thank you so much,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you