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Marriage and Parenting as Discipleship (Marriage as a Mission) Pt 1 - 335 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:07
  Daniel Moore: This week we are diving into one of the most beautiful, exhausting, sanctifying, sleep-depriving callings God has ever given two people, parenting together in marriage.
• 0:17
  Daniel Moore: You know, before kids, marriage looks a little different.
• 0:20
  Daniel Moore: You stay up late talking about dreams, ministry, vacations, and your future together.
• 0:25
  Daniel Moore: Then suddenly one day you're standing barefoot in the kitchen at 2 47 in the morning debating whose turn it is to clean up a mystery substance while a toddler is yelling from the hallway that they're scared of the shadow monster.
• 0:37
  Daniel Moore: Well, this week we're talking about the chaos, comedy, pressure, purpose, and holiness of parenting as a married couple.
• 0:44
  Daniel Moore: Because parenting doesn't just test your patience, it exposes your character, your communication, your selfishness, your faith, and sometimes your ability to function on three hours of sleep and cold coffee.
• 0:56
  Daniel Moore: So whether your home currently feels peaceful and organized, or more like a hostage negotiation involving crayons, goldfish crackers, and someone crying because their toast was too toasty, this episode is for you.
• 1:09
  Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:16
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies.
• 1:19
  Daniel Moore: And over here next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
• 1:26
  Daniel Moore: Hey, hey! Thank you guys for joining us this week.
• 1:28
  Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriagelifeandmore.com for links to our platforms, our YouTube and Rumble.
• 1:34
  Daniel Moore: We're also on the Christian Podcasting app Edifi, and we're also on your Alexa and Google Smart Devices.
• 1:40
  Daniel Moore: You can also visit us on social on Facebook, Instagram, and X at CTGAPOnline.
• 1:45
  Daniel Moore: If you're a fan of our show, please subscribe.
• 1:47
  Daniel Moore: And feel free to leave a comment on our platforms, give us a thumbs up or five-star review on Apple Podcast, and we'd be thankful to you for doing that.
• 1:55
  Daniel Moore: Well, welcome once again to the podcast.
• 1:58
  Daniel Moore: Last week we finished up part two of our episode on forgiveness and grace.
• 2:05
  Daniel Moore: And I thought both of those episodes went really well.
• 2:08
  Daniel Moore: There was just a lot of really good information that I think a lot of us as couples sometimes struggle with.
• 2:14
  Daniel Moore: And hopefully we pray that somebody out there was touched by that.
• 2:17
  Daniel Moore: So as we come out of that episode, we start off a new section of the series in our book, Marriage as a Mission.
• 2:25
  Daniel Moore: And again, you can pick that up anywhere you can get your books.
• 2:28
  Daniel Moore: It's also uh there at Amazon, uh, the most popular bookstore probably, but you can get it online all other places as well.
• 2:35
  Daniel Moore: And there is a six-session study guide that goes with it that is only on Amazon.
• 2:39
  Daniel Moore: But pick one up today if you haven't so far, and you can go back and binge listen to the series and where we're at now, and then keep up with this as we go, as we're kind of walking through that book to an extent.
• 2:50
  Daniel Moore: The book is different from our podcast series, but it's laid out, you know, similar.
• 2:54
  Daniel Moore: It's just not word for word.
• 2:56
  Daniel Moore: So uh you might want to check that out.
• 2:58
  Daniel Moore: So as we get started with this week's episode, we're gonna be talking about marriage and parenting as discipleship.
• 3:05
  Daniel Moore: Well, it all started at about 2 47 a.m.
• 3:21
  Daniel Moore: on a Wednesday, a time when nothing good ever happens unless you're a raccoon or an owl.
• 3:27
  Daniel Moore: Michelle and I were deep in our REM cycles when a tiny voice whispered three feet from my face.
• 3:32
  Daniel Moore: I'm scared.
• 3:34
  Daniel Moore: I opened my eyes to two bright white eyes staring at me in the dark at eye level.
• 3:39
  Daniel Moore: I just about had a heart attack.
• 3:41
  Daniel Moore: I mean, there's no manual for that.
• 3:43
  Daniel Moore: Marriage didn't prepare me for it.
• 3:45
  Daniel Moore: All those once romantic late-night talks that we had before kids are now replaced with bleary-eyed negotiations about who's going to handle the potty disaster.
• 3:54
  Daniel Moore: It's always a debate, and somehow every argument includes a detailed breakdown of who cleaned what bodily fluid the last time.
• 4:02
  Daniel Moore: Well, parenting in marriage is a beautiful chaos.
• 4:06
  Daniel Moore: One moment you're arguing over who left the milk out, and the next you're tackling a trigonometry of lunchbox packing, favorite spoons, and whose turn it is to explain to a kindergartner why we don't yell I farted in public.
• 4:18
  Daniel Moore: And just when you think you've got it figured out, like you remembered the field trip form and successfully fed everyone real vegetables, your toddler shaves the dog.
• 4:27
  Daniel Moore: With your eraser, the same one you didn't know that they could reach.
• 4:31
  Daniel Moore: It's teamwork, yes, but it's also a survival sport.
• 4:35
  Daniel Moore: Marriage's parents feels less like a rom com and more like a buddy cop film, where both leads are undercaffeinated, covered in applesauce and trying to keep the baby from riding all over the walls with a crayon.
• 4:47
  Daniel Moore: So here's the parenting in marriage, where the love is deep, the sleep is shallow, and every day brings a plot twist even Netflix couldn't write.
• 4:56
  Daniel Moore: God entrusted us with the mission of parenting as part of his design for families, and scripture is full of guidance to support this sacred calling.
• 5:05
  Daniel Moore: From the very beginning, God entrusted humanity with the responsibility of raising and nurturing children.
• 5:11
  Daniel Moore: We have a scripture here, Genesis chapter one, verse twenty eight.
• 5:15
  Daniel Moore: In that scripture, God blessed Adam and Eve and said, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.
• 5:20
  Daniel Moore: This wasn't just about population growth, it was a divine calling to raise up future generations who would walk in relationship with Him.
• 5:29
  Daniel Moore: Parenting was God's idea from the start, and it's a partnership with Him in shaping human souls.
• 5:35
  Daniel Moore: Proverbs twenty two, six reinforces the intentional role that we're given.
• 5:39
  Daniel Moore: It says train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
• 5:44
  Daniel Moore: As parents, we're not just making school lunches and cleaning up Legos, we're actively guiding and shaping a child's life, helping them build a foundation that will carry them into adulthood.
• 5:56
  Daniel Moore: And if we look at Deuteronomy chapter six, verses six and seven, it further emphasizes our responsibility.
• 6:01
  Daniel Moore: It says, and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
• 6:05
  Daniel Moore: You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise.
• 6:14
  Daniel Moore: God clearly designed parenting as a daily, life integrated mission.
• 6:19
  Daniel Moore: It's not a part-time role, it's a full life calling.
• 6:23
  Daniel Moore: And Psalm 127, three through four reminds us of the blessing and purpose that children bring.
• 6:28
  Daniel Moore: It says, Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
• 6:34
  Daniel Moore: Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
• 6:39
  Daniel Moore: We're not just raising kids, we're launching future leaders, worshipers, and world changers.
• 6:45
  Daniel Moore: So in short, parenting's not just a practical job, it's a divine assignment.
• 6:50
  Daniel Moore: God entrusts us with the care, guidance, and spiritual formation of the next generation.
• 6:56
  Daniel Moore: And it's a very hard thing sometimes, but it's also a holy thing.
• 7:02
  Michelle Moore: I had to laugh because you were talking when you were reading this, I was like, the talk about who did what and who didn't do what and who cleaned the bodily fluid last time.
• 7:13
  Michelle Moore: Well, if you know me and you know Dan, it definitely was not me.
• 7:18
  Michelle Moore: It was always Daniel.
• 7:20
  Michelle Moore: I would be if a kid threw up, I'm in there throwing up.
• 7:23
  Michelle Moore: And I could not handle it.
• 7:25
  Michelle Moore: So Mr.
• 7:26
  Michelle Moore: EMT guy over there, he got it.
• 7:28
  Michelle Moore: He took care of the kids when they were sick because I'm over there myself.
• 7:31
  Michelle Moore: I'm like, ugh, you know, and I'm like, I can't do this.
• 7:34
  Daniel Moore: We didn't even get to draw sticks.
• 7:36
  Michelle Moore: No, it was like, I can't.
• 7:38
  Michelle Moore: I tried.
• 7:39
  Daniel Moore: This isn't fair.
• 7:41
  Michelle Moore: And he did it without complaining.
• 7:43
  Michelle Moore: But now, I mean, I think with our grandkids, it's it's a little bit different.
• 7:47
  Michelle Moore: I still have that come to me as like, okay, but I'm like, I have to do this.
• 7:53
  Michelle Moore: If I'm the only one, I have no choice.
• 7:56
  Michelle Moore: So when you wrote that, I'm pretty sure that you were being nice to me.
• 8:00
  Daniel Moore: Well, there's so many scenarios as parents that we get ourselves into.
• 8:03
  Daniel Moore: And you know, a lot of times, and I'm I'm guilty of this as much as anybody, when our kids grew up, there's a lot of times that I wasn't really as thankful and understanding about the children that God had given both of us and, you know, took a parenting for granted a lot of times, you know.
• 8:22
  Daniel Moore: And I think I even I see a lot of parents still do that now.
• 8:25
  Daniel Moore: I think it happens, you know, on a regular basis with a lot of people because with the society that we live in, you know, it's so fast-paced and so crazy all the time.
• 8:35
  Daniel Moore: Us as parents, we're super busy and very stressed.
• 8:38
  Daniel Moore: We've got a lot of anxiety in our lives between our jobs, uh, you know, the kids, spouses, household stuff, bills, all the stuff that piles up.
• 8:48
  Daniel Moore: And a lot of times I see where we as parents sometimes we'll take that out on our kids sometimes if it gets too much.
• 8:55
  Daniel Moore: And we start, you know, having issues with that.
• 8:59
  Michelle Moore: We're not just taking it out on them, but just remotely just let's go, let's go, you know, and not giving them time to be themselves and sitting down and discussing, you know, what their role is and what they're going through, and letting them answer for themselves and you know, talking it out.
• 9:15
  Michelle Moore: We just get so busy that we neglect that.
• 9:18
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 9:19
  Daniel Moore: And so the intention of this week and next week, because this will probably be a two-part series, is we want to lay it out about where do our kids land in our relationship as parents and in our home.
• 9:31
  Daniel Moore: And what does God expect out of us as parents?
• 9:35
  Daniel Moore: Because as you're gonna find out as we start going through this episode, the kids watch everything we do.
• 9:41
  Daniel Moore: We are their living example of when they grow up.
• 9:46
  Daniel Moore: They're gonna watch everything we do, they're gonna pick up bad habits that we have sometimes.
• 9:50
  Daniel Moore: Uh, they're going to act like we do sometimes when they get older.
• 9:54
  Daniel Moore: And I think a lot of times we don't understand and think about that as much as we should.
• 9:58
  Daniel Moore: And so we let ourselves be a little loose, I think, in the way that we handle things, thinking that, well, I'm training my kid not to do this, so they're surely not going to do this when they get older, but yet they're sitting there watching you do it.
• 10:10
  Daniel Moore: You know, and I think a lot of times we just don't think about that.
• 10:13
  Daniel Moore: And there's a lot of biblical foundation for why God gave us kids, what he expects of us as parents as we raise our kids, hopefully to where our kids grow up someday and what they become.
• 10:26
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 10:26
  Daniel Moore: And so we're gonna go ahead and get started.
• 10:28
  Daniel Moore: I'm gonna let you start here.
• 10:30
  Daniel Moore: We're gonna start out here talking about how we model Christ for our children.
• 10:35
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, as parents, whether we realize it or not, we are living, breathing illustrations of how Christ loves his church.
• 10:43
  Michelle Moore: And our kids are sitting on the front row with popcorn in hand, watching every scene unfold.
• 10:49
  Michelle Moore: Before they can even spell the word grace, they're already learning what it looks like by watching how mom and dad speak to each other in the kitchen, handle stress in the car, or respond with a disagreement in the hallway outside the kids' bedroom.
• 11:04
  Michelle Moore: And let's be honest, home life isn't usually some peaceful Christian movie soundtrack moment.
• 11:11
  Michelle Moore: Most days it's spilled cereal, missing shoes, a dog barking at nothing, that would be our dog, and someone crying because their sandwich was cut the wrong way.
• 11:23
  Michelle Moore: Yet, right in the middle of all that chaos, our marriage becomes the first lens through which our children understand love, sacrifice, forgiveness, humility, and conflict resolution.
• 11:39
  Michelle Moore: The lens matters more than we think.
• 11:42
  Michelle Moore: Here's a powerful truth that every married couple needs to remember.
• 11:47
  Michelle Moore: Your children may never sit through a theology lecture, but they will study your marriage every single day.
• 11:56
  Michelle Moore: In the Bible, Ephesians 5 25, the apostle Paul writes, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
• 12:08
  Michelle Moore: This verse isn't just instruction for marriage, it's discipleship happening in real time.
• 12:15
  Michelle Moore: Our children are learning about Jesus by watching how we treat one another when life gets inconvenient.
• 12:22
  Michelle Moore: Every time we choose patience instead of sarcasm, every time we choose forgiveness over keeping score.
• 12:29
  Michelle Moore: Every time we choose gentleness instead of irritation, we are putting the gospel on display in our living room.
• 12:39
  Daniel Moore: So are we feeling the pressure yet?
• 12:42
  Daniel Moore: It's like no pressure.
• 12:44
  Daniel Moore: You know, our kids do watch a lot, they they have a front row seat as you just stated, to life under our roof.
• 12:52
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 12:53
  Daniel Moore: And as we sit here and we think about our marriages and how we operate day to day, I think sometimes it's good to think about, you know, where's where's the balance, how much bad stuff happens versus the good stuff that happens.
• 13:08
  Daniel Moore: You know, maybe we should think about that sometimes because the kids definitely are gonna remember all the bad stuff for sure.
• 13:15
  Daniel Moore: They know that if relationships between mom and dad are not good, they know if there's a lot of yelling and screaming going on, a lot of fighting and bickering.
• 13:24
  Daniel Moore: They know eventually which parent they can play against each other.
• 13:29
  Daniel Moore: They know if they can go to mom to get this and go to dad to get this because they know who's gonna say yes and who's gonna say no.
• 13:36
  Daniel Moore: That causes fights also sometimes.
• 13:38
  Daniel Moore: Because if if the kids do that, then the parents get at each other sometimes because they would have said no, but the other parent let them do it.
• 13:46
  Daniel Moore: You know, so it causes so many issues.
• 13:49
  Daniel Moore: And so I think as we get started here with this, it's a wake-up call to us to make sure that we remember no matter what our response, what what response we think we should have in that moment, yeah, we need to think it through before we do it.
• 14:04
  Daniel Moore: Because if it's not a good response, sometimes things need to be taken behind a closed door.
• 14:10
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 14:10
  Daniel Moore: Um and Michelle and I, and I think we've talked about this a little bit before, but you know, with all the problems that we had in our marriage from the very beginning, we've talked to, you know, even our marriage uh mentees about this, our kids really didn't know a whole lot about the bad stuff necessarily that was going on in our relationship because we didn't let them know.
• 14:30
  Daniel Moore: We we tried to keep all of that private.
• 14:32
  Daniel Moore: And I do feel like kids do need to see parents work through conflict.
• 14:38
  Daniel Moore: I don't just I don't disagree with that at all.
• 14:41
  Michelle Moore: Absolutely.
• 14:42
  Daniel Moore: But there's some things that the kids really don't need to see.
• 14:45
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 14:46
  Daniel Moore: And that's when we're being hateful towards each other, we're tearing each other down.
• 14:50
  Daniel Moore: A lot of that kind of stuff, a lot of the abusive type actions that sometimes adults do to each other, you know, the kids don't need to see that because you're gonna instill inside of them if that carries on long enough, you have to be careful.
• 15:04
  Daniel Moore: Your kids could pick those attributes up and carry them later on into their relationships.
• 15:09
  Daniel Moore: You're better off to have conflicts in front of them and resolve those in front of them so they can see how that process works.
• 15:16
  Daniel Moore: And because every marriage is gonna have them.
• 15:18
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 15:18
  Daniel Moore: You know, there's just no way around that.
• 15:21
  Daniel Moore: Um, but we just have to remember that uh regardless of what training kids get all everywhere else in church or school or wherever it may be, um, the one thing they do see every day is how we live as a married couple and as parents.
• 15:37
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 15:37
  Daniel Moore: And so we have to be careful with that.
• 15:39
  Daniel Moore: You know, children don't learn what love is by hearing us quote scriptures alone.
• 15:43
  Daniel Moore: They learn it by watching how we respond when we're exhausted, frustrated, and running on two hours of sleep and cold coffee.
• 15:50
  Daniel Moore: That's where the faith becomes real.
• 15:52
  Daniel Moore: Ephesians 5, 22, and 23 often spark strong opinions depending on someone's background or experience.
• 15:59
  Daniel Moore: But one of the clearest takeaways for children isn't about power or hierarchy, it's about unity, honor, and mutual sacrifice before God.
• 16:07
  Daniel Moore: A healthy Christian marriage says we're on the same team, and our kids need to see that.
• 16:12
  Daniel Moore: They need to watch two imperfect people, such as us as parents, choose grace over ego.
• 16:19
  Daniel Moore: When a husband humbles himself enough to apologize, when a wife responds with respect instead of contempt, when both choose to pray together instead of silently building walls, children begin connecting the dots between faith and everyday life.
• 16:34
  Daniel Moore: They start realizing, oh, this is what following Jesus actually looks like on a Tuesday night when everybody's stressed.
• 16:40
  Daniel Moore: You know, it's not just on Sunday mornings and church clothes, it's not just during worship songs, but during bedtime meltdowns, financial pressure, miscommunication, and the legendary marital debate over whether the thermostat's too high or low.
• 16:53
  Daniel Moore: And can we all admit something?
• 16:55
  Daniel Moore: Kids do not learn Christ-like love when everything is smooth.
• 16:59
  Daniel Moore: Everyone can smile when the bills are paid, the kids are behaving, and dinner came out of the oven looking Pinterest worthy.
• 17:05
  Daniel Moore: Real discipleship happens when your toddler is one second away from baptizing the phone in the toilet, your spouse accidentally burns dinner for the third time this month, and somehow you both choose laughter instead of World War III.
• 17:18
  Daniel Moore: You know, that moment matters because sometimes the holiest thing a couple can do is laugh together instead of tearing each other apart.
• 17:25
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 17:26
  Daniel Moore: You know, Deuteronomy 6, verses 6 through 7, we read it earlier, it reminds parents that God's commands are to be taught diligently to children while sitting at home, walking along the road, lying down, and rising up.
• 17:37
  Daniel Moore: In other words, discipleship isn't meant to be confined to a devotional once a week.
• 17:43
  Daniel Moore: It's woven into our everyday life.
• 17:45
  Daniel Moore: You know, faith is taught in the carpool line, around the dinner table, during difficult conversations, through apologies after arguments, through prayers whispered when money is tight, through forgiveness offered when emotions run hot.
• 17:59
  Daniel Moore: It's less about creating a perfect spiritual atmosphere and more about creating an authentic one.
• 18:06
  Daniel Moore: And you know, a lot of times, I think the and last week we talked about this, the last couple of weeks, we talked about apologies and forgiveness and some of that kind of stuff.
• 18:17
  Daniel Moore: And you know, that's probably one of the bigger ones that kids might not see happen very often, because in a in a marital situation, there's a lot of times when one parent doesn't feel like they need to apologize to the other because the other one caused the issue.
• 18:33
  Daniel Moore: And this can carry on for days sometimes, which can cause tension in the home.
• 18:39
  Daniel Moore: Um, and we know as parents, if we get, you know, tensed and we get stressed out, it's real easy sometimes for to have that that short trigger, that little short fuse.
• 18:50
  Daniel Moore: And if our kids do the smallest thing that upsets us, we can just fly off the handle at them.
• 18:55
  Daniel Moore: And it's not really probably all about that scenario at that moment, it's because of all the other stuff that's stacked up on top of it all.
• 19:02
  Daniel Moore: And we reached our blowing point when our kids done something that made us mad.
• 19:06
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, our kids don't need to see that because that's not a true Christ-like nature in how we handle things.
• 19:13
  Daniel Moore: Our kids didn't cause all that stress.
• 19:15
  Daniel Moore: That stress started between the adults, between the spouses.
• 19:20
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, you and I, as we went through all of our stuff, you know, we did keep a lot of it from our kids, but there were times that I was too hard on our kids.
• 19:31
  Daniel Moore: And I think some of that was from the way I grew up.
• 19:34
  Daniel Moore: I brought in some very bad habits into our marriage, but also at the same time, you know, I was upset a lot of times because of things between us.
• 19:42
  Daniel Moore: And I let a lot of that stuff build up.
• 19:45
  Daniel Moore: And so when the kids would trigger me, you know, it would cause me to be a lot more harsh in those situations than I really should have been.
• 19:53
  Daniel Moore: And I think, you know, you probably had those moments at at times also, because if the parents aren't in a good spot and they're not keeping Christ in the middle of everything and trying to keep everything running biblically in the home, then Satan's gonna take advantage of that.
• 20:13
  Daniel Moore: And if you're not careful, kids are gonna trigger you into things that you wish had never happened, and then they're gonna be seeing something they don't need to be seeing.
• 20:20
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 20:21
  Michelle Moore: If your family does color-coded devotionals with matching journals and homemade scripture flashcards, praise God for that.
• 20:41
  Michelle Moore: But most families are just trying to survive bedtime without someone licking the wall.
• 20:47
  Michelle Moore: And honestly, God still works powerfully there too.
• 20:51
  Michelle Moore: One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is not the illusion of perfection, but the example of genuine dependence on Christ.
• 21:00
  Michelle Moore: That matters deeply because research continues to show that children are profoundly shaped by the faith they see modeled at their home.
• 21:08
  Michelle Moore: Studies like the National Study of Youth and Religion found that one of the strongest predictors of whether children carry faith into adulthood is the authentic spiritual commitment of their parents.
• 21:22
  Michelle Moore: Not perfect parents, but authentic ones.
• 21:25
  Michelle Moore: And that's very important because kids can spot fake faith from a mile away.
• 21:31
  Michelle Moore: If Christianity only shows up on Sunday mornings but disappears Monday through Saturday, children eventually start to believe faith is just another performance.
• 21:42
  Michelle Moore: And the moment they're old enough to choose for themselves, they often walk away from what appeared empty or disconnected from real life.
• 21:51
  Michelle Moore: So let's face it, social media won't disciple your children toward Christ.
• 21:57
  Michelle Moore: Instagram won't teach them biblical.
• 21:59
  Michelle Moore: Forgiveness and TikTok won't model covenant love.
• 22:03
  Michelle Moore: The culture will gladly shape their hearts if we don't intentionally point them towards Jesus, which means our homes become the mission fields, our marriages become sermons, and our everyday moments become opportunities to reflect Christ.
• 22:22
  Michelle Moore: That's a very weighty calling, but it's also a beautiful one.
• 22:27
  Michelle Moore: Because God never asked us to be flawless parents or flawless spouses.
• 22:33
  Michelle Moore: He asked us to be faithful, faithful enough to repent, faithful enough to forgive, faithful enough to keep choosing love when emotions fluctuate, faithful enough to let our children see that we need Jesus too.
• 22:49
  Daniel Moore: And so this part here I think is very important because what do we see a lot of parents do today with their kids to keep them occupied?
• 22:59
  Michelle Moore: Oh, they give them the screen.
• 23:00
  Daniel Moore: They do.
• 23:01
  Daniel Moore: Phones, tablets, whatever it may be.
• 23:04
  Michelle Moore: I just call it screen anymore because literally they all have screens.
• 23:07
  Daniel Moore: And they get them at very young ages.
• 23:09
  Michelle Moore: Yes.
• 23:09
  Michelle Moore: Well, in fact, our grandchildren could probably run the phones better than we can.
• 23:15
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, we've got a granddaughter that already takes selfies and everything else.
• 23:19
  Daniel Moore: And she's four.
• 23:21
  Daniel Moore: She's four.
• 23:22
  Michelle Moore: And she knows how to pose for them, she knows how to take them.
• 23:25
  Michelle Moore: I mean, she is all about it.
• 23:27
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 23:28
  Daniel Moore: And I'm all about kids learning technology and being smart.
• 23:32
  Daniel Moore: I have no problem with that whatsoever.
• 23:35
  Daniel Moore: But if you're a type of parent that doesn't have time for your children, you always are putting your efforts and your attentions into your own things and your own agendas, and you're constantly shoving the screens into your kids' laps to keep them occupied so they'll leave you alone, quote unquote.
• 23:54
  Daniel Moore: That's not a very smart thing to do.
• 23:56
  Daniel Moore: Because then who's parenting your children at that point?
• 24:01
  Michelle Moore: You're right.
• 24:01
  Daniel Moore: Social media.
• 24:02
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 24:02
  Daniel Moore: And there's so much on social media, and another problem with that is most parents don't watch what their kids are looking at very closely on social media.
• 24:11
  Daniel Moore: There are parental, you know, guideline things that you can put on different softwares and that kind of stuff.
• 24:18
  Daniel Moore: But more often than not, I see them handing them their own phones, letting them play on them and do whatever they want.
• 24:24
  Daniel Moore: And you know those phones aren't protected.
• 24:28
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 24:28
  Daniel Moore: You know, anything them kids get into, anything that they see, it's there's no telling what it could be.
• 24:32
  Daniel Moore: Anything could show up when they start hitting buttons.
• 24:35
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, we've got to be careful and intentional when it comes to caring about our children's future and what type of an ult an adult they grow up to be.
• 24:45
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 24:46
  Daniel Moore: And we have to be concerned with the fact that if we have a lot of kids being raised on social media these days because the parents are too busy in their own things to pay attention, or they're too busy fighting each other and not apologizing, not repenting, uh, you know, maybe not even spending enough time going to church with their kids like they should be.
• 25:07
  Daniel Moore: That's a very dangerous place to be because someday your kids are going to be out on their own and they're going to be living the way that they've been learning all the years prior as they've been growing up.
• 25:20
  Daniel Moore: And so we have to be very intentional with being careful with what our kids have access to, what ages it is that they get access to that stuff.
• 25:31
  Daniel Moore: And we need to make sure that we are pouring into them more than society.
• 25:37
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 25:37
  Daniel Moore: Because that needs to come from us as Christian parents, teaching our kids how to model themselves.
• 25:43
  Daniel Moore: So a Christ-centered home is not a home without failure.
• 25:47
  Daniel Moore: It's a home where failure keeps leading everyone back to grace.
• 25:50
  Daniel Moore: And this has to do a lot with the fact that we are human.
• 25:54
  Daniel Moore: We do make mistakes.
• 25:55
  Daniel Moore: When we mess up and we're we absolutely are going to, those moments can become some of the most powerful discipleship opportunities of all.
• 26:03
  Daniel Moore: You know, when dad says I was wrong, will you forgive me?
• 26:07
  Daniel Moore: Or when mom mom admits I shouldn't have spoken that way, or when parents pray together after conflict instead of pretending nothing happened, children learn that Christianity is not about pretending to have it all together.
• 26:19
  Daniel Moore: It's about running to the mercy of God again and again.
• 26:23
  Daniel Moore: That's why the Bible in 2 Corinthians 12 9 is so comforting.
• 26:27
  Daniel Moore: It says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
• 26:33
  Daniel Moore: And what is that weakness?
• 26:35
  Daniel Moore: Well, that's even in the chaos or the parenting failures, the tense conversations and the exhausted nights.
• 26:42
  Daniel Moore: God is still working in the middle of all of that.
• 26:46
  Daniel Moore: And maybe that's what some couples need to hear most today.
• 26:49
  Daniel Moore: Your imperfect marriage can still powerfully reflect a perfect savior.
• 26:54
  Daniel Moore: You know, the whenever it comes down to the fact that, you know, if we want to sugarcoat everything and, you know, push stuff underneath the carpet and you know, not be real, I guess is the best way to put that for our kids, then in a way that's a fake side of us, and then we're creating a scenario where our kids could be faking it a lot later on in life.
• 27:22
  Daniel Moore: And so there's just a lot to this parenting thing, and how God really wants us to to raise our children, and he has a purpose within all of that.
• 27:33
  Daniel Moore: And you know, I I really wish that, you know, you and I both grew up in church, and we, you know, had cr good Christian parents, and uh that I know both of our parents were pretty intentional about making sure that uh we were in church on a regular basis and that kind of thing, especially later on in our teenage years and stuff.
• 27:53
  Daniel Moore: You know, I just I wish that when I got to the point that I got married and had a child, and then when you and I got together and you had your children, uh there are there is a part of me now that I look back and I really wish, you know, I would have handled things a lot differently.
• 28:08
  Michelle Moore: Well, I think because even though we were raised in Christian homes, there was a lot that we seen.
• 28:16
  Michelle Moore: And I think too, we had no guidance.
• 28:21
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I feel like I had no guidance.
• 28:25
  Michelle Moore: Yes, my mom took me, my mom and dad took me to church, but to really see that biblical daily.
• 28:33
  Michelle Moore: I remember my mom like in the morning be praying and stuff like that, but that's the only time I seen it in that church.
• 28:40
  Michelle Moore: I mean, she she had a true relationship with God, do not get me wrong.
• 28:43
  Michelle Moore: But as my parents acting it out in forgiveness and saying things throughout the day, you know, we prayed over every meal.
• 28:51
  Michelle Moore: You know, so what'd we do?
• 28:52
  Michelle Moore: We pray over every meal.
• 28:54
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 28:56
  Michelle Moore: So we took our kids to church.
• 28:58
  Michelle Moore: But there's so much more than just that.
• 29:01
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 29:02
  Michelle Moore: You know, and that's where we failed at, but that's where our parents failed at it.
• 29:06
  Daniel Moore: Mm-hmm.
• 29:07
  Daniel Moore: And you know, mine, my dad was an ordained minister, went to Bible school, got his ordination, done street services.
• 29:14
  Daniel Moore: I remember as a child, as a teenager, early teenager, being on the square Saturday nights, like clockwork.
• 29:22
  Daniel Moore: And we'd be down there for several hours, um, doing, you know, singing some hymns, and then my dad would preach a sermon.
• 29:30
  Daniel Moore: And in our town back in that day, people cruise the square.
• 29:33
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 29:34
  Daniel Moore: Uh, that's non-stop on Saturday night.
• 29:36
  Daniel Moore: The teenagers were all out there, hundreds of cars just cruising all night long.
• 29:40
  Daniel Moore: And my dad preached at church.
• 29:43
  Daniel Moore: You know, there's just a lot of things that I saw my dad do.
• 29:47
  Daniel Moore: So I had ingrained inside of me that Christianity was important, that God was an important thing in my life.
• 29:56
  Daniel Moore: But as I've mentioned, you know, several times before, when it came to the parenting side of things, as far as how my mom and dad treated each other and that model that they put out there in front of us, it wasn't very good.
• 30:09
  Daniel Moore: It wasn't very healthy.
• 30:11
  Daniel Moore: And even with all of that stuff that took place in my early years with the church and I went to Christian school, they put us in Christian school and all that kind of stuff.
• 30:20
  Daniel Moore: My mom and dad still got divorced later on in life when I was around 18 years old.
• 30:25
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, there comes a point when stuff like that happens that as a child, when you sit there and watch one thing happen most of your life, and you think that that's, you know, the worst could never happen to our family.
• 30:39
  Daniel Moore: We're in church, we're following God, my dad's preaching, you know.
• 30:43
  Daniel Moore: And then all of a sudden, someday it pops up and your mom's walking out the door, you know, leaving and packing up stuff.
• 30:50
  Daniel Moore: And the next thing you know, there's a divorce happening.
• 30:53
  Daniel Moore: And it's like, yeah, I was 18 at that point, but that wasn't a very good training experience for me.
• 31:01
  Daniel Moore: Because in essence, what that told me was is no matter what my background was, no matter how much God seemed to be ingrained in everything, when time gets hard, I guess you can just quit and just move out on it, you know.
• 31:16
  Daniel Moore: And what happened later?
• 31:17
  Daniel Moore: I ended up getting getting married for the wrong reasons, and my first marriage failed.
• 31:23
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, for you, the same thing happened to you.
• 31:26
  Daniel Moore: You got married and it failed.
• 31:28
  Daniel Moore: And you know, it's like, if my parents would have been a good example to me, would it have been any different?
• 31:34
  Daniel Moore: I don't know.
• 31:35
  Daniel Moore: I would I would like to say I would hope that it would have been, but at this point, I'll never know.
• 31:40
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 31:40
  Daniel Moore: Because my parents that that already happened.
• 31:42
  Daniel Moore: They already got divorced and separated with their separate directions.
• 31:45
  Daniel Moore: And my dad went on to get married two more times after that.
• 31:49
  Daniel Moore: So he went from not believing in divorce period to never saying that would ever happen, to you know, being divorced twice and getting married three times.
• 31:59
  Daniel Moore: And you know, that can really wreck a a child's thought process and what they believe or don't believe.
• 32:05
  Daniel Moore: That puts a lot of confusion for some kids.
• 32:08
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, I'm thankful that as I got older, and for the same for you, we've gotten older, we have a good understanding now of the biblical foundation of how it should be.
• 32:19
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 32:20
  Daniel Moore: Now it's came a little late because we will be the first to admit we weren't A plus parents by any means.
• 32:26
  Michelle Moore: Not even close.
• 32:27
  Daniel Moore: No, we've we made a lot of mistakes.
• 32:29
  Daniel Moore: We've actually had to go back and apologize to our kids, and I think we've talked about that before.
• 32:33
  Daniel Moore: But, you know, I did for sure.
• 32:35
  Daniel Moore: I had to go back and apologize to the children for the way I disciplined and uh just the way that I handled things sometimes.
• 32:41
  Daniel Moore: And I've had a lot of apologizing to do for you.
• 32:43
  Daniel Moore: And even some of those apologies were because of the kids.
• 32:46
  Daniel Moore: You know, it's like some at some point we got to become humble.
• 32:51
  Michelle Moore: And we have to recognize, you know, and and that's one thing I when I'm when you and I are talking to people, you know, we'll we'll bring up, you know, the past and stuff like that.
• 32:59
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, what is it that the fact that most men would not ever apologize once they've recognized they've done something wrong later on in life to their children, to their spouse, to family.
• 33:13
  Michelle Moore: And I cannot say that I I've ever seen that in my life until I married you.
• 33:19
  Michelle Moore: You know, and you you did.
• 33:21
  Michelle Moore: You went back and apologized to the children and asked for their forgiveness.
• 33:24
  Michelle Moore: Now, whether they accepted it or not, that's on them, which they all did, but still, even myself, I've apologized to Brooklyn.
• 33:31
  Michelle Moore: Like, you know, there are things that we recognize that God has put in us that was that was wrong, you know.
• 33:38
  Michelle Moore: And, you know, we've asked for forgiveness, but then we went to them and asked for forgiveness.
• 33:43
  Michelle Moore: And you know, now it's like we can talk about it, and it's like, oh, okay, you know, yes, we did do that.
• 33:48
  Michelle Moore: We acknowledge it.
• 33:49
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, you know, and to help uh another couple with children or stuff, it's like, you know, put the Lord first before you do anything, put the Lord first.
• 33:58
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, you know.
• 33:59
  Daniel Moore: And you know, for a long time, our kids were raised not with a very good example.
• 34:04
  Daniel Moore: They see that example now because you and I have matured so much in Christ, and we have an awesome marriage at this point, but now we're backtracking.
• 34:14
  Daniel Moore: We're we're trying to fix things from the past so that our kids now that because they're married or getting married, have some of us already got kids, you know, they're already moving on into the adult life now, and we're already seeing some issues in some places here and there occasionally that that we don't like that aren't biblical.
• 34:32
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, and now we're we're trying to speak into that the best we can, but our kids are adults now, so it makes it harder when they grow up and become adults.
• 34:41
  Daniel Moore: We have to just show our example at this point and pray and pray on the sideline, yeah, and just hope that you know God just convict their hearts and souls and direct them, you know, and um open their hearts to you that they will understand.
• 34:55
  Daniel Moore: And you know, all the parents out there right now that might be listening to this and your kids are young, you don't want to be in that spot where later on you have to realize all the things you did wrong and you should have done differently, and now you're seeing some of that that bad fruit happen within your own kids as they get older.
• 35:12
  Daniel Moore: You need to tackle that now while they're young.
• 35:15
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 35:15
  Daniel Moore: And make sure that you present that example to them that Christ expects you to.
• 35:20
  Daniel Moore: And we're gonna get deeper into this next week as we get into the second part of this episode.
• 35:25
  Daniel Moore: Um, but for this week, uh just want to remind you, just the point that we was making there is is God is still working, and maybe that's what some of you guys need to hear most today.
• 35:34
  Daniel Moore: Your imperfect marriage can still powerfully reflect a perfect savior.
• 35:39
  Daniel Moore: So, yes, modeling Christ in marriage is hard, it's humbling, it's messy.
• 35:43
  Daniel Moore: Some days you're trying to explain godly patience while wearing yogurt in your hair and stepping on Lego bricks that feel personally designed by the enemy.
• 35:51
  Daniel Moore: We know those things hurt with a passion.
• 35:53
  Daniel Moore: But don't forget, your children are watching.
• 35:58
  Daniel Moore: They are learning what love looks like, what forgiveness sounds like, what humility feels like, and what faith does under pressure.
• 36:06
  Daniel Moore: And more importantly, the God who entrusted those children to you, he's watching too.
• 36:11
  Daniel Moore: And his grace is more sufficient for any exhausted husband, every overwhelmed wife, and every marriage striving to honor him one ordinary day at a time.
• 36:22
  Daniel Moore: Because at the end of the day, the greatest legacy that we may leave our children is not a perfect home, but a home where Jesus was made visible through the way that we loved each other.
• 36:33
  Daniel Moore: And I think that's just a perfect way to end this week's episode on that note, to just as a good reminder why what our focus should be.
• 36:43
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, I guess is the best way to put that.
• 36:45
  Daniel Moore: Is we need to make sure that our kids see through all the messy stuff that we do as parents and the mistakes that we make, that regardless of what happens, who do we go and come back to every time we come back to each other?
• 36:58
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 36:59
  Daniel Moore: Because our love is stronger than that.
• 37:01
  Daniel Moore: Our love fills those gaps and it drives that forgiveness, those apologies, that grace that Christ modeled for us.
• 37:11
  Daniel Moore: Now we have the opportunity to model that same exact thing to our kids so that they can carry that on later when they have their own family.
• 37:18
  Daniel Moore: And I just I don't think there's could be a better legacy than that.
• 37:22
  Daniel Moore: Well, next week when we come back, we are going to finish up this episode and we'll do part two of it, dig into it just a little bit deeper.
• 37:46
  Daniel Moore: Uh but as we get ready to wrap up this week here, don't forget you can visit our website at marriagelifear.com.
• 37:52
  Daniel Moore: We have a lot of resources there for marriage.
• 37:55
  Daniel Moore: And then we also have a premarital that we offer.
• 37:58
  Daniel Moore: And then there's a form there you can reach out to so you have any questions or just want to make a comment on the episodes.
• 38:03
  Daniel Moore: We'd love to hear from you.
• 38:05
  Daniel Moore: Social media, you can do that there as well.
• 38:07
  Daniel Moore: And of course, the most importantly, please subscribe and share these episodes with people that need to hear it, and you become a part of sowing those seeds into other people's situations.
• 38:17
  Daniel Moore: So as we wrap up this week's episode, maybe the biggest encouragement that we can leave you with is this God never called you to be perfect parents or perfect spouses, he just called you to be faithful.
• 38:29
  Daniel Moore: Faithful enough to keep showing up, faithful enough to apologize, faithful enough to forgive, faithful enough to keep choosing love when everybody's tired, overwhelmed, emotional, and one spilled juice box away from a complete breakdown.
• 38:44
  Daniel Moore: Because the truth is, your children are not learning what Christianity looks like from perfection.
• 38:49
  Daniel Moore: They're learning it from watching broken people continually run back to Jesus.
• 38:54
  Daniel Moore: They're watching how you love each other after disagreements, how you handle pressure, how you pray during hard seasons, how you respond when life doesn't go according to plan.
• 39:04
  Daniel Moore: And those ordinary moments, those exhausted Tuesday nights, those stressful mornings, those bedtime prayers, those reconciliation conversations, they matter more than you know.
• 39:16
  Daniel Moore: Your marriage is preaching a sermon every single day.
• 39:20
  Daniel Moore: Not because your home is flawless, but because God's grace keeps meeting you in the middle of the mess.
• 39:26
  Daniel Moore: So to every exhausted mom, every overwhelmed dad, every married couple trying to honor Christ while navigating the beautiful chaos of parenting, you are not alone.
• 39:36
  Daniel Moore: God sees your effort, he honors your faithfulness, and his grace truly is sufficient for every season.
• 39:42
  Daniel Moore: And maybe one day, long after the toys are gone, the house is quiet, and the kids are grown, the greatest thing that they'll remember won't be whether everything was perfect.
• 39:52
  Daniel Moore: They'll remember that they grew up in a home where Jesus was visible through the way that mom and dad loved each other.
• 39:58
  Daniel Moore: Well, that's going to be all for this week.
• 40:02
  Daniel Moore: And we pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
• 40:06
  Daniel Moore: This episode is recorded in the upper room at our Connecting the Gap Studios.
• 40:10
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.