Latest / Selected Short Stories / 007 - The Man Who Disliked Cats

Transcript

007 - The Man Who Disliked Cats · Selected Short Stories

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Chapter seven of The Man Upstairs. This is a LibriVox recording.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: by Mike Harress. The Man Upstairs by P. G. Woodhouse,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Chapter seven, The Man who Disliked Cats. It was Harold
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: who first made us acquainted when I was dining one
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: night at the Cafe Britannique in Soho. It is a
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: peculiarity of the Cafe Britannique that you always find flies there,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: even in the winter. Snow was folding that night as
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I turned in at the door, but glancing about me,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I noticed several of the old faces. My old acquaintance,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Percy the Blue Bottle, looking wonderfully fit despite his years,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: was doing deep breeding exercises on a mutton cutlet, and
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: was too busy to do more than pause for a
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: moment to nod at me now. But his cousin, Harold,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: always active, sighted me and bustled up to do the honors.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: He'd finished his game of touch last with my right
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: ear and was circling slowly in the air while he
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: thought out other ways of entertaining me. When there was
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: a rush of air, a swish of napkin, and no
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: more Harold. I turned to thank my preserver, whose table
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: adjoined mine. He was a Frenchman, a melancholy looking man.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: He had the appearance of one who was searching for
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: the leak in life's gas pipe, with a lighted candle
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: of one whom the clenched fist of fate had smitten
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: beneath the temperamental third waistcoat button. He waved my thanks
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: to side. It was a bagattale, he said. He became friendly.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: He moved to my tabroom, and we fraternized over our coffee.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Suddenly he became agitated. He kicked at something on the floor.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: His eyes gleamed angrily. Pste he hissed, Vatan. I looked
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: around the corner of the table and perceived the restaurant
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: cat in dignified retreat. You do not like cats, I said,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I ate old animals, monsieur cats especially. He frowned. He
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: seemed to hesitate. I will tell you my sturry, he said.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: You will sympathize. You have a sympathetic face. It is
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: the story of a man's tragedy. It is the story
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: of a blighted life. It is the story of a
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: woman who would not forgive. It is the sturry excuse me,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I've got an appointment at eleven, I said. He nodded absently,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: drew at his cigarette, and began. I have conceived my
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: hatred of animals, monsieur, many years ago in Paris. Animals
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: are to me a symbol for the lost dreams of youth,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: for ambitions foiled, for artistic impulses cruelly stifled. You are astonished.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You asked why I say these things. I shall tell you.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I am in Paris, young, ardent, artistic. I wish to
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: paint pictures. I have the genius, the enthusiasm. I wish
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to be discipled of the great Bouguereau. Ah. But no,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I am depending and first support upon an uncle. He
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: is rich. He is proprietor of the great hotel jule Trio.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: My name is also Prio. He is not sympathetic. I say, Uncle,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I am the genius, the enthusiasm, permit me to paint.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: He shakes his head. He says, I will give you
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: position in my hotel, and you shall earn your living.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: What choice? I weep? But I kill my dreams and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I become cashier at my uncle's hotel. He a salary
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: of thirty five francs a week. I the Artist, become
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: a machine for the changing of money at a damn
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: bad salary. What would you what choice? I am dependent.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I go to the hotel, and there I learn to
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: hate all animals, cats especially. I will tell you the
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: reason my uncle's hotel is fashionable. Hotel rich Americans, rich
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Maharaja is a rich people of every nation come to
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: my uncle's hotel. They come and with them have brought
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: their pets. Monsieur, it was the existence of a nightmare.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Wherever I have looked, there are animals. Listen. There is
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: an Indian prince. He has with him two drama daries.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: There is also one other Indian prince. With him is
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: a giraffe. The giraffe drink every day. One does in
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: best champagne to keep his coat goot. I the artist
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: have my bock, and my coat is not good. There
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: is a guest with a young lion. There is a
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: guest with an alligator. But especially there is a cat.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: He is fat. His name is Alexander. He belongs to
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: an American woman. She is fat. She exhibits him to
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: me he is wrapped in a silk and fur creation
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: like an opera cloak. Every day she exhibits him. It
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: is Alexander's This an Alexander that till I hate Alexander
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: very much. I hate all the animals, but especially Alexander,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: and so, Monsieur. It goes on day by day in
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: this hotel that is a zoological garden, and every day
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I hate the animals the more, but especially Alexander. We artists, Monsieur,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: we are martyrs to our nerves. It became insupportable this thing.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Each day it became more insupportable. At night, I dream
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: of all the animals, one by one, the giraffe, the
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: two dromedaries, the young lion, the alligator, and Alexander, especially Alexander.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: You have heard of men who cannot endure the society
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: of a cap are they cry out and jump in
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: the air of a cat? Is among those present time,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: your Lord roberts precisely, Monsieur, I have read so much. Listener,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I am become by degrees almost like him. I do
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: not cry out and jump in the air when I
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: see the cat Alexander, but I grind my teeth and
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I hate him yes, I am the sleeping volcano and
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: one murning. Monsieur, I have suffered the eruption. It is
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: like this, I shall tell you, not only at that
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: time am I the martyr to my nerves, but also
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: to toothache. That morning, I have had the toothache very bad.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I have been in pain, the most terrible. I groan
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: as I heard of the figures in my book. As
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I growan, I hear a voice say good morning to
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Monsieur Brio Alexander. Conceive my emotions, Monsieur. In this fat,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: beastly cat is placed before me upon my desk. It
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: puts the cover upon it. No, that is not the
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: price the lid. It put the lid upon it. All
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: my smothered atrell of the animal burst forth. I could
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: no longer conceal my adred. I rose. I was terrible.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I seized im basitrail. I flung him. I did not
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: know where. I did not care not then afterwards, Yes,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: but not then, your longfellow has a poem. I shot
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: an arrow into the air. It fell to earth I
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: know not where. And then he has found it the
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: arrow in the art of a friend. Am I right also?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Who was at the tragedy with me. I flung the cat. Alexander,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: my uncle on whom I am dependent, is passing at
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: the moment he has received the cat in the middle
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: of his face. My companion, with the artist's instinct for
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: the curtain pause. He looked round the brightly lit restaurant.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: From every side rose the clatter of knife and fork,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: and the clear, sharp note of those who drank soup.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: In a distant corner, a small waiter with a large
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: voice was calling the cook names through the speaking tube.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: It was a cheerful scene, but it brought no chair
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: to my companion. He sighed heavily and resumed. I urry
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: over that painful scene. There is a blooming row. My
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: uncle is ot tempered man. The cat is heavy cat.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I have thrown him very hard, for my nerves and
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: my toothache and my ettret have given me the giant
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: strength alone. Is this enough to enrage my ot tempered uncle.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: I am there in his hotel. You will understand as cashier,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: not as cat thrower. And now beside all this, I
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: have insulted the valuable patron. She have left the hotel
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: that day. There are no doubts in my mind as
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: to the outcome with certainty. I my conje, and after
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: painful scene I get it. I am to go at once.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: You have assured the angry American that I go at once.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: He has called me into his private office, Jeanne. He
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: has said to me, at the end of other things,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: you are a fool, dull to no good, imbecile. I
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: give you good days in my hotel, and you spend
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: your time flinging cats. I will have no more of you.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Even now I cannot forget that you are my dear
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: brother's child. Of I will now give you one thousand
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: francs and never see you again. I have thanked him
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: for to me it is wealth. Not before have I
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: ever had one thousand francs of my own. I go
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: out of the hotel. I go to a cafe and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: order a bock. I smoke a cigarette. It is necessary
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that I think out plans. Shall I, with my one
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: thousand francs, rent a studio in the quarter and commence
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: my life as artists? No, I have still the genius,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: the enthusiasm, but I have not the training to train
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: myself to vain pictures. I must study long, and even
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: one thousand francs will not last forever. Then what shall
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I do? I do not know. I order one other box,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: smoke more cigarettes. But still I do not know. And
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: then I say to myself, I will go back to
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: my uncle and plead with him. I will seize favorable opportunity.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I will approach him after dinner. He in his good temper.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: But for that I must be close at hand, I
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: must be what is your expression the Johnny on the spot?
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: My mind is made up. I have my plan. I
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: have gone back to my uncle's hotel and have engaged
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: not too expensive bed of. Then my uncle does not know.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: He still is in his private office. I secure my room.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I dine cheaply that night, but I go to the
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: theater and also to supper after the theore. For have
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I not my thousand francs. It is late when I
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: reach my bedroom. I go to bed. I go to sleep,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: but I do not sleep long. I am awakened by
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: a voice. It is a voice that says, move and
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I shoot, Move and I shoot. I lie still. I
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: do not move. I am courageous, but I am unarmed.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: And the voice says again, move and I shoot. Is
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: it Robbles? Is it some marauder who has made his
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: way to my room to plunder me. I do not know.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Perhaps I think, yes, who are you? I have asked,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: There is no answer. I take my courage in my hands.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I leap from my bed. I dash for the door.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: No pistol has been fire. I have reached the passage
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: and have shouted for assistance. Hotel officials run up doors open.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: What is it? Voices cry? There is in my room
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: an armed robber. I assure him, and then I have
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: found no I am mistaken. My door, you will understand,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: is open, and as I have said these words, a
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: large green parrot comes opping out. My assassin is nothing
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: but a green parrot. Move, I shoot, it is said
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: to those gathered in the corridor. It then has bitten
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: me in the hand and passed on. I am chagrined, monsieur,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: but only for a moment. Then I forget my chagrin,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: for a voice from a door that has opened says
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: with joy, it is my Polly, which I have this
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: evening lost them. I turn, I gasp for admiration. It
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: is a beautiful lady in a pink dressing gown, which
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: have spoke these words. She has looked at me. I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: have looked at her. I forget everything but that she
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: is adorable. I forget those who stand by. I forget
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: that the parrot has bitten me in the hand. I
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: forget even that I am standing there in my pajamas
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: with on my feet nothing. I can only gaze at
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: her and worship am. I have found words, Mademoiselle. I
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: have said, I am rejoiced that I have been the
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: means of restoring to you your bird. She has thanked
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: me with her eyes, and then with words. Also. I
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: am bewitched. She is divine. I care not that my
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: feet are cold. I could wish to stand there talking
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: all night. She has given a cry of dismay you,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: your aunt. It is wounded. I look at my hand. Yes,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: it is bleeding where the bird have bitten it. S Mademoiselle,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I have said it is a bag at tell, But no,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: she is distressed. She is what your poets Scott have said,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: a ministering angel. Now she have torn our Ankorschiffin is
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: binding up my wound. I am enchanted such beauty, such kindness.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Hardly can I resist to fall on my knees before
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: her and declare my passion. We are twin souls. She
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: has thanked me again, she has scolded the parrots. She
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: has smiled upon me as she retires to her room.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: It is enough. Nothing is said. But I am man
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: of sensibility and discernment, and I understand that she will
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: not be offended if I seek to renew our friendship
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: on a more suitable occasion. The doors shut, the guests
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: have returned to bed, the hotel servants to their duties,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: and I go back to my room. Ah, but not
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: to sleep. It is very late, but I do not sleep.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I lie awake, and I think of her. You will conceive, monsieur,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: with what mixed feelings. I descend next morning. On the
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: one end, I must keep the sharp lookout for my uncle.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: For him, I must avoid till I shall have what
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: do you say in your idiom get me? Oh, yes,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I have it. Simel down and tucked in his shirt.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: On the other hand, I must watch from my lady
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: of the parrot. I count the minutes till we shall
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: meet again. I avoid my uncle with success, and I
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: see her about the hour of Dejahnay. She is talking
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: to old gentlemen. I have bowed. She has smiled and
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: motioned me to approach father. She has said, this is
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: the gentleman who caught Pole. We have shaken hands. He
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: is indulgent Papa. He has smiled and thanked me. Also.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: We have confided to each other our names. He is English,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: She owns much land in England. He has been staying
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: in Paris. He is rich. His name is Enderson. He
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: addresses his daughter and calls her Marion. In my heart
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I also call her Marion. You will perceive that I am,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: as you say, pretty far gone. The hour of de
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Johnay has arrived. I entreat them to be my guests.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I can run to it. You understand, for there are
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: still in my pockets plenty of my uncle's franks. They consent.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I am in heaven. All is well. Our friendship has
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: progressed with marvelous speed. The old gentleman and I a
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: swiftly the dear old pals. I have confided to him
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: my dreams of artistic fame, and he has told me
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: how much he dislikes your Lloyd George. He has mentioned
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: that he and miss Mary and the part for London
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: that day. I am desolate. My face tumbles. He has
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: observed my despair. He has invited me to visit them
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: in London. Imagine my chagrin. To visit them in London
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: is the one thing I desire to do. But how
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: I accept gratefully? But I ask myself how it is
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: to be done. I am poor blighter, with no profession
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: and nine hundred francs. He has taken it for granted
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: that I am wealthy. What shall I do? I spent
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: the afternoon trying to form a plan, and then I
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: am resolved. I will go to my uncle and say, Uncle,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I have the magnificent chance to marry the daughter of
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: a wealthy English landowner. Already I have her gratitude. Soon,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: for I am young and some debonair, I shall have
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: her love given me one more chance. Uncle, be decent,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: old buck, and put up the money for this affair.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: These words I have resolved to say to my uncle.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I go back to the hotel, I enter his private office.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I reveal no secret when I say that he is
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: not cordial ten thousand devils. He has cried, what do
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: you have here? I hastened to tell him all and
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: plead with him to be decent old buck. He does
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: not believe who is he? He asks, this English landowner?
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: How did I meet him, and where I tell him.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: He is amazed. You have the infernal impudence to take
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: room in my hotel, he has cried. I am crafty,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I am diplomat. Where else, my dear uncle, I say,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: in all Paris there is no such arm. From home,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: the cuisine marvelles, the beds of rose leaves, the attendant superb,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: if only for one night, I have said to myself,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I must stay in this Cibo hotels. I have what
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: do you say, touched the spot? And what you say?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: He has said, montcomly, there is certainly something. It is
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: a good hotel. This of mine, the only hotel I
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: have assured them. The Marys shit. I snap my fingers.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: The ritz Bah once again, I snap my fingers. In
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: all Paris there is no hotel like this. He has
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: simmered down. His shirt is tucked in tail. Me again
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: as his plan of yours Jean. When I leave him,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: we have come to an understanding. It has agreed between
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: us that I am to have one last chance. He
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: will not spoil this promising ship for the apworth of tar.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: He will give me money for my purpose. But he
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: is set as we part. If I fail, his hands
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: shall be washed of me. He cannot now forget that
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I am his dear brother's child. But if I fail
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to accomplish the conquest to the divine Miss Marian, he
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: thinks he will be able to it is well. A
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: week later I follow the Enderscens to London for the
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: next few days. Monsieur, I am in paradise. My host
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: has much nice house in Eaton Square. He is rich, popular,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: There is much society, and I I have the successful.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I am young, handsome, debonnair. I cannot speak the English
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: very well, not so well as I now speak him,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: but I marriage I get along. I am intelligent, amiable.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Everyone loves me. Ah no, not every one. Captain Bassett,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: he does not love me, and why because he loves
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: the charming Miss Marian and observes that already I am
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: succeeding with her like a ouse on fire. He is
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: em de fermil He is captain of your garde excuse
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: and my ousterold me. He has distinguished himself as soldier
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: pretty much. It may be so as soldier perhaps, but
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: that conversation he is not so good. He's quite nice fellow,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: you understand, ansome, yes, distinguished, oh yes, but he does
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: not sparkle. He is not my verve, my lan I,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: how do you say, I makes your rings around him?
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: But shoot? At that moment I would have made the
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: rings round the old British army. Yes, and also the
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: cours diplomatique. For I am inspired. Love has inspired me.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I am conqueror ah. But I will not weary you, monsieur,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: with the details of my wooing. You are sympathetic, but
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I must not weary you. Let us say that I have,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: in four days of five made progress the most remarkable
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: and proceeds of the tragic end, or must I could
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: tell it in fur words? In them, one would say
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: that it is set forth. There was in London at
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: that tim bobulars song, a couamic, vulgar song of the Arlsley.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: The cat came back. You have heard it. Yes, I
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: heard it myself, and without emotion. It had no sinister
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: warning for me. It not did not strike me as
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: an omen. Yet in those four words, monsieur, is my
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: tragedy ah. But I shall tell you every word is
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: a sword twisted in my art. But I shall tell
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: you one morning there we were at tea, all is well.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I am vivacious gay, miss Mary, and charming gracious. There
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: is present also an aunt, mister Anderson's sister, but ere
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I do not much notice. It is to Mary, and
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I speak both of my lips and also with my eyes.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: As we sit, Captain Bassett is announced he has entered.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: We have greeted each other politely but cold. Lafore we
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: are rivals. There is in his manner also a something
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: which I do not much like a species of suppressed
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: triumph of elation. I am uneasy, but only yet vaguely.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: You will understand I have not the foreboding that he
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: is about to speak my death sentence. He addresses Miss Marian.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: There is joy in his voice, Miss Enderson. He has said,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I have for you the bally good news you will remember.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Isn't it the cat belonging to the American woman in
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: the hotel at Paris, of which you have spoken to
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: me last night? At dinner, I have been seated beside her.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: At first I am not certain? Is it she? Then
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I say that there cannot be two missus baldistone rock
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: metalers in Europe. So I mention to her the cat,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: And to cut the long story short, I ent you
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: to purchase for you as a little present the cat Alexander.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I have uttered a cry of horror, but it is
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: not heard because of Miss Marian's cry of joy, Oh
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Captain Bassett. She has said, how very splendid have you
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: ever since I first saw him? Have I loved Alexander?
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I cannot tell you how grateful I am, But it
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: amazes me that you should have been able to induce
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: her to part with him in Paris. She has refused
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: all my offers. He has paused, embarrassed. The fact is
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: he has said, there is between her and Alexander a
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: certain coolness. He has deceived her, and she loves him
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: no more. Immediately upon arrival in London, he had the
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: misfortune to have six fine kittens. However, out of evil,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: who cometh good? And I have thus been able to
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: secure him for you. He is downstairs in a basket.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Miss Marian has rung the bell and commanded for him
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: to be brought up instantly. I will not describe the meeting, Monsieur.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: You are sympathetic, you will understand my feelings. Let us
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: hurry on. Figure yourself, monsieur, to what extent I was
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: now harassed? I am artis I am a man of nerves.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I cannot be gay, brilliant, debonair in the presence of
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: a cat. Yet always the cat is there. It is terrible.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I feel that I am falling behind in the race.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Her gratitude has made her the more gracious to captain Bassett.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: She smiles upon him, and, like Chanticleer at the sight
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: of the sun, he flaps his wings and crows. He
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: is no longer the silent listener. It is I who
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: will become the silent listener. I have said to myself
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: that something must be done. Chance has shown me the way.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: One afternoon, I am, by fortune alone in the oar
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: in his cage. The parrot Polly is opping. I address
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: him through the bars, Move him, I shoot. He has cried.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: The tears have filled my eyes. Oh, it has brought
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: the old scene back to me. As I weep, I
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: perceive the cat Alexander approaching. I formed a plan. I
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: have opened the cage door and released the parrot. The
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: cat I think would attack the parrot of which Miss
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Enderson is so fond. She will love him no more.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: He will be expelled. He paused. I suppose my face
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: must have lost some of its alleged sympathy. As he
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: set forth this fiendish plot. Even Percy the Blue Bottle
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: seemed shocked. He had settled on the sugar bowl. But
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: at these words he rose in a market manner and
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: left the table. You do not approve, he said, I
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: shrugged my shoulders. No business of mine, I said, But
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: don't you think yourself? It was playing at a bit
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: low down. Didn't the thought present itself to you in
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: a shadowy way that it was rather rough on the bird?
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: It did, monsieur, But what would you It is necessary
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: to break eggs in order to make an omelet. Ah
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: all is fair, you say in love and war, and
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: this was both. Moreover, you must understand I do not
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: dictate his movements to the parrot. He is a free agent.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I do but open the cage door. Should he op
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: out and proceed to the floor, where is the cat?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: That is his affair? I shall continue, eh hella. I
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: opened the cage door and disappeared discreetly. It is not
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: politic that I remained to witness what shall transpire. It
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: is for me to establish an alibi. I go to
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: the drawing room, where I remain At dinner that night,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: mister Anderson has laughed in all this afternoon, he said,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I have seen bad chance the dickens of a funny occurrence.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: That parrot of yours Marian, had escaped once again from
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: his cage and was having an argument with that cat
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: which Captain Bassett has given you. Oh, I hope that
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Alexander has not hurt Perpoly, of whom I am very fond.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: She has said. The affair did not come to blows,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: as said mister Henderson, you may trust that bird to
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: take care of himself, my dear. When I came upon
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: the scene, the cat was crouching in a corner with
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: his fer bristling in his back up, while Polly, standing
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: before him, was telling him not to move or he
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: would shoot. Nor did he move till I had seized
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: the parrot and replaced him in the cage. When he
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: shot up stairs like a streak of lightning. By sheer
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: force character, that excellent bird at won the bloodless victory.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I drink to him. You can conceive my emotion as
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I listen to this tale. I am like the poet's
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: mice and men whose best kid schemes have gone away.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I am baffled, I am discouraged. I do not know
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: what I shall do. I must find another plan, But
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I do not know what. How shall I remove the cat?
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Shall I kill him? No, for I might be suspect.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Shall I I ask some one to steal him. No,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: for my accomplice might betray me. Shall I myself steal him? Ah?
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: That is better. That is a very good plan. Soon
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I have it perfected. This plan listen, Monsieur it as follows.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: It is simple, but it is good. I will await
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: my opportunity. I will remove the cats secretly from the house.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I will take him to an office of the district
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: messenger boys. I will order a messenger to carry him
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: at once to the cat's house, and to request Monsieur
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: le directeur immediately to destroy him. It is a simple plan,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: but it is good. I carry it through without itch.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: It is not so difficult to secure the cat. Here
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: is a sleep in the drawing room. There is nobody
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: at lund. I have in my bedroom at box which
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I have brought from Paris. I have brought it with
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: me to the drawing room. I have placed in it
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: the cat. I have escaped from the house. The cat
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: has uttered a cry, but none is erb. I have
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: reached the office of the district messenger. Boys, I have
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: ended over the cat in its box. The manager is courteous, sympathetic.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: A messenger has started in a cab for the cat's house.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: I have breathed a desigh of relief. I am saved.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: That is what I say to myself as I returned.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: My troubles are over, and once more I can be gay, debonair,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: vivacious with Miss Marian. For no longer will there be
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: present with a cat Alexander to arrass me. When I
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: have returned, there is commotion in the house. I pass
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: on the stairs, domestics calling Puss, Puss, Puss. The butler
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: is chirruping loudly and poking beneath the furniture with a umbrella.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: All is confusion and adjutation. In the drawing room is
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Miss Marian. She is distressed. Nowhere, she said, can there
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: be found the cat Alexander, of whom I am so fond.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Nowhere in the house is he? Where can he be?
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: He is lost? I am gentle, sympathetic. I endeavor to
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: console there. I indowere that I am not sufficient substitute
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: for a beastly cat. She is, however, inconsolable. I must
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: be patient. I must waste my time. Captain Bassett is announced.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: He is informed of what has happened. He is distressed.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: He is the heir, as if he too would endeavor
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: to be gentle sympathetic. But I am Johnny on the spot.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I stay till he has gone. Next day, again it
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: is Puss, Puss, Puss again. The butler has explored under
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: the furniture with the umbrella again. Miss Marian is distressed again.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Have I endeavored to console this time? I think I
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: am not so unsuccessful. I am, you understand, young and
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: some sympathetic. In another two ticks, I am about to
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: seize her and declare my passion. But before I can
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: do so, Captain Bassett is announced. I gaze at him
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: as at unsuccessful arrival. I am confident. I am conqueror. Ah,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I little know it is in the moments of I
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: has hoped ensure that we are destroyed. Captain Bassett, he too,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: as the heir of the conqueror. He has begun to speak,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Miss Anderson. He has said, I have once more the
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: ballygood news. I rather fancy that I have tracked down
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: the missing Alexander. Do you not know, Miss Marian has
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: cried out with Joe. But I am calm, for is
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: not Alexander already yesterday destroyed? He is like this, he
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: has resumed. I have thought to myself where is lost
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: cat most likely to be? And I have answered in
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: the cat's house. So I go this morning to the
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: cat's house, and there I see a cat which is
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: either lost Alexander or his living image. Exactly? Is he
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: the same as all appearances as the lost Alexander. But
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: there is when I try to purchase him some curious
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: itch which they do not explain. They must have time,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: they say, to consider. They cannot at once decide. Why
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: what nonsense? Miss marian abscried. If the cat is my cat,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: surely then must they return him to me? Come, he
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: has said, let us all three at once in a
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: taxicab go to the cat's house. If the all three
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: of us identify the lost Alexander, then must they return him? Monsieur?
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I am uneasy. I are foreboding, but I go what choice?
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: We go in a taxicab to the cat's house. The
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: directeur is courteous and sympathetic. He has introduced us to
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: the cat, and my arm has turned to water, for
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: it is Alexander? Why has he not been destroyed? Director
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: is speaking. I hear him in a dream. If you
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: identify him as your cat, Miss he has said, the
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: matter is ended. My hesitation when you, sir, approached me
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: this morning on the matter was due to the fact
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: that a messenger was sent with instructions that he be
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: destroyed at once. Rather rough, wasn't it that? On the messenger? Eh,
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Captain Bassett has said, he is facetious, you understand, for
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: he is conqueror. I am silent. I am not facetious,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: for already I feel how you say my fowl is cooked?
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Not the messenger, sir. The director has said, who have
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: misunderstood me? It was the cat which was to be destroyed,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: as by instructions of the anonymous sender. Who could have
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: played such a wicked trick? Miss Marian has asked, indignant,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: The director has stooped, and from behind the table he
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: has brought a hat box in this year, said the
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: above animal was conveyed, but with it there was no
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: accompanying letter. The sender was anonymous, perhaps Captain Bessett, he said,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: And still more in dream I er him. Perhaps on
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: the at box is some ballet name or of it.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Do not know no what I clutched the table. The
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: room is spinning round and round. I have no stomach,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: only emptiness. Why bless may the director said, you are
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: quite right here, sir. So there is funny of me
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: not to the four observed it. There is a name
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: and also an address. It is the name of Jean Prio,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: and the address is the Hotel Jule Prio in Paris.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: My companion stopped abruptly. He passed a handkerchief over his forehead.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: With a quick movement, he reached for his glass of
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Liqueur brandy and drained it at a gulp. Monsieur, he said,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: you will not wish me to describe the scene. There
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: is no need for me, and that is to be
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: zola esque. Who can imagine she chucked you in a
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: moment of emotion. It is the simplest language that comes
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: to the lips. He nodded and married Captain Bassett. He
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: nodded again, and your uncle, I said, how did he
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: take it? He sighed, there was once more a blooming raw, Monsieur.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: He washed his hands, have you well? Not altogether? He
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: was angry, but he gave me one more chance. I
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: am still his dear brother's child, and he cannot forget it.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: An acquaintance of his, a man of letters, and Monsieur
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Paul Sartine was in need of a secretary of the
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: post was not well paid, but it was permanent. My
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: uncle insists that I take it. In what choice I
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: took it. It is the post which I still old.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: He ordered another Liqueur Brandy and gulped it down. The
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: name is familiar to you. You have heard of Monsieur Sartine's. No,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think I have. Who is he? He is
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: a man of letters asavant. For five years he has
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: been occupied upon a great work. It is with that
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: that I assist him by collecting facts for his use.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I've spent this afternoon in the British Museum collecting facts.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow I go again, and the next day, and again
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: after that. The book will occupy yet another ten years
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: before it is completed. It is his great work. It
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: sounds as if it was. I said, what's it about?
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: He signaled to the waiter, Yesson. One other Liqueur brandeis
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: the book Monsieur is a history of zi Cat in
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: ancient Egypt. End of chapter seven, The man who disliked
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: cats recording by Mike Haras