Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / Can't Decide Whether to Stay or Leave? What's underneath your excuse?

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Can't Decide Whether to Stay or Leave? What's underneath your excuse? · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate the podcast, finding the space for all of you in life and love.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Sally Ann Hartnell, and this podcast is for anyone wanting to reclaim and liberate themselves in their relationships and their life.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are on your relationship journey, these conversations meet you right there.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: In soulful, deeply supportive DNMs with me and interviews with other gorgeous humans, moving you from where you are to where you most want to be.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: A life and love completely aligned with your deepest desires to have it all on your own terms.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeking a relationship and a life that lights up all of you, you're in the right place.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also like to acknowledge that this podcast is recorded on the traditional lands of the Wurundri people and pay my respects to elders past, present, and emerging and acknowledge them as the original storytellers of this land.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to today's episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about excuses.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath your excuse?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is all about you knowing you wanting to leave your marriage, but the flip side of that being you can't actually face the prospect of divorce.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So when you want to leave your marriage but can't face getting divorced, what is underneath that?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: What is underneath your excuse?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So your marriage is a mess or it's disconnected, it's lonely, you've woken up and realized you've actually got nothing in common anymore, except the kids, and you wonder if you ever really did have anything in common.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing to talk about except what's for dinner or who's picking up the kids, and can you get the milk on the way home?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Who's doing what and when?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's no intimacy, no shared joy.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're just going through the motions and maybe living more like housemates than intimate partners.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not bad, but it's just not what you want.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know you should get out, but you're also afraid.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're afraid to get divorced.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're worried about all the things, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: How you'll survive practically, financially, emotionally.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Will there be anything better out there on the other side?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Will you ever find love again?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And you're worried about ditching something that isn't bad, you know, you're worried that you'll regret that down the track.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're worried about the cost, how much you'll end up with if you leave, and if there's any way you can make that work.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, of course, you're worried about the kids if you've got kids, and no matter how old yours are, you'll be worrying about the impact of you leaving their other parent, of their parents divorcing.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Christmas and all those special family times won't be the same.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Will they blame you?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Will they be harmed or damaged?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And again, you know, it's not that this marriage is necessarily bad, it's just not happy, and you're worried that you know, maybe no one else will understand, they won't understand or see or um be able to acknowledge your your reasons for leaving.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you're worried about being judged and shamed.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, staying is safe, staying is predictable, staying is stable, but staying still leaves you spinning in uncertainty, you know, unable to make a decision.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so staying doesn't feel great either.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're longing to leave, to create a new version of life by yourself, for yourself, and at the same time, you're terrified to del to leave, dreading divorce, dreading even raising the subject with your partner again.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's likely this is not the first time you've thought about it or had the conversation, so you're dreading having to be the one to raise it and bring it up again.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, staying, staying married in so many ways, it's it's easier, it's easier to justify with all of those reasons, all of those excuses, the kids, the house, financial stability, you know, the impact on your social life, your friends, your extended family, the dog, you know, all the real tangible practical reasons, as well as the other layered excuses.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, staying, as I said, is also hard.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And here, here's where you know you have to choose your hard.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where you get to actually choose your hard.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: As human beings, you know, we really dislike uncertainty, it feels uncomfortable, destabilizing, and that in itself is really activating.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: It tips us into fight, flight, freeze.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might come out fighting when you feel uncertain, or you might turn and run far and fast from that uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty, or you might freeze and be completely unable to take any action, let alone make a big life state life-changing decision.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm just going to cut right to the chase here, and I'm going to pose what is underneath your excuse?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath the reason you're telling yourself you can't make a decision, you can't leave.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath that story you're telling yourself?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: What is the real reason why you can't make this hard decision?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever that decision is going to be for you, to stay and do the hard work to reconnect, to rebuild a relationship that doesn't look and feel the way you want it to, or to leave.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's a big decision.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's layered, I know it's loaded, I know that it is not simple and it is not easy because there's so much at stake, right?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It is a life-altering decision.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you're wondering, and I know I did, am I really willing to do this?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to even go there to intentionally turn my life and the lives of people I love upside down to actively choose such disruption and to intentionally choose to put myself through that kind of pain?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: you already are.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're already in pain, and you're already paying the price, and underneath your indecision, underneath your overwhelm, underneath your feeling stuck, underneath your fear, the thing that sits deep down underneath your reasons, your story, your excuse is trust or a lack of it.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna suggest here, as brutal and as harsh as it sounds, is that you don't fully trust yourself.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: You don't fully trust yourself to make the right decision.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: You don't fully trust that you can make any decision.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you chose once before, did you choose badly?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Did you choose wrong?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: You you're not trusting in your capacity to make the right decision.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing, you know, uncertainty is that hardest of places to sit in.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's a pretty shitty place to stay, and there is a cost to staying in that shitty space of uncertainty, and you already know that, or you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be listening to this.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you feel it, it's what keeps you awake at night, and it is eroding something inside you because you already know you deserve to have a life, a love, a relationship that lights you up.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve not just to go through the motions of life, but to live it fully and to thrive.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you deserve to have honest, grounded, realistic support in making these big life-altering decisions, expert guidance, advice, connections, all that stuff, and privacy while you unravel everything that you need to look at.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might not even have told your best friend yet, and that's why you've possibly got this particular podcast in your ears at this particular time.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a deeply private way to find your own answers, to find your own way through, you know, so you don't have to share all of your secrets with the people in your life right now.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can do that here on the podcast with me, you can do it working one-on-one with me, or you can do it in Side and Thrive, my new coaching support group.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's a link to all of that in the show notes, of course, with all the details, including the opportunity to book an intro call with me if that's the support you need.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: But going back to your decision, you know, your inability to make a decision is in part based in a lack of trust, a lack of self-trust.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's never one right decision.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Deciding to leave a marriage, a long-term relationship is scary.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: It brings up all the fear, you know.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: As I said before, am I really willing to go there?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to intentionally cause myself, my kids, pain?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Am I really going to choose that?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said earlier, again, we run from that discomfort, we squash it down, we minimize it, we make it small, we push it away.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, am I really going to intentionally turn my life upside down, unravel everything we've created, even if it's not exactly what I want, everything I've invested in.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Am I really going to do that?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And fear keeps us clinging to the past, refusing to allow us to believe that something better can arise in the future, that we can create something better in the future.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you may possibly be feeling like you've made the biggest mistake in marrying or creating a life with this other person.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're questioning yourself, you're questioning everything, you're questioning because if you chose badly or wrong once before, how can you possibly trust yourself to choose anything else?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: How can you believe in or trust yourself to make the right decision now?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's absolutely a cost or a lot of cost in choosing to leave.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's so much.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's financial, yes, it's social.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is, you know, about what you've invested in creating this life.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's for some of you, it's about the house, time with your kids.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's all sorts of costs in choosing to leave a long-term relationship, but there's also a cost to staying, and uncertainty is, as I said, the hardest part.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's shitty to sit in that uncertainty, but choosing or allowing yourself the excuse to not make a decision means you stay in the pain.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: So deciding whatever that is for you, one way or another, eases you out of that uncertainty, snaps you, in fact, out of that uncertainty.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe too, you're asking all the questions, you know, the if-onlies, or what if it could be, maybe it should be.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes when we get in stuck in that, in that cycle, we are actually attached to what is wrong for us, or maybe less harshly, less less than right for us.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're actually holding on to it because it feels safe.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we love safety and security and predictability.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: We hate the uncertainty.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: So we're afraid to let go of what we know, even if it's less than, even if it's not what we want, it's less than good for us, it's less than what we deep down really want for ourselves.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Afraid there's nothing better out there.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that you worry that maybe if you do choose to leave, the grass isn't really greener out there.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: the grass is actually greener out there because grass where you are, the grass that you're standing in isn't feeding you.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not what you want.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: The grass where you are is not what you want.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it is actually green or not, it might be green for someone else, but it's not green for you.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: This grass where you're standing, this relationship where you are isn't feeding you or your soul.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: So staying in the relationship as it currently exists, whether you ultimately stay or go, staying right where you are now, you're resisting, you're avoiding, you're hiding from your own truth, and you're forcing something that isn't right for you to be right.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do that, you're pushing down reality, you're pushing it away.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when we push things away like that, we're actually denying our own truth, our own feelings, our own emotions.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, emotions don't just go away.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: The emotions of staying or settling or staying in a place that we know isn't right for us, doesn't serve us, those emotions will still come up.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Our emotions aren't actually optional, they're not something we get to choose.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get to stop them coming up, but we may choose to ignore them, minimize them, push them away.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean they're not still there and they're not real, but we react to them rather than feel into them, and maybe we use numbing behavior behaviors, you know.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we go for endless long runs, we mindlessly scroll on our phones, we have a few drinks, whatever is your numbing of choice, you know.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: But these emotions still get stored up, they get stored in our bodies when we don't allow ourselves to really feel them.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: They get stuck in our body, you know, they might show up physically short as stomach issues or neck and shoulder tension.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: But if you stop and really think about it and allow yourself to feel into your body, you'll find them that they're in there, they're trying to be felt, and you know, getting stuck, they're getting stuck, but they're still there and they are impacting you every day, every moment.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: But that that's probably a whole other podcast episode.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: My main point there is that our emotions aren't actually optional, they will at some point demand that we feel them if we are ignoring them or pushing them down.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I work with lots of clients who are sitting in this very space, you know.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Deep down, they know, they know they want to leave, they know the relationship is over, they know there's no going back and saving it and fixing it, but that's when they come and work with me, you know, and a lot of it is about building trust, trusting yourself enough, trusting yourself to trusting your own knowing really, and trusting yourself that you can make the right decision for yourself and you can then go on and make a life for yourself, you know, and that's where that's what I do with these clients where I come in, I lead my clients through that to find a space where they are able to make empowered, grounded decisions from a place of deep self-trust.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's really what I do.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't tell my clients, I'm not going to tell you to stay or to leave.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Together I work through, together I work through that with my clients, you know, unpeeling the layers, exploring the stories, getting underneath the excuses and uncovering their own truth so that the decision actually rises up in front of them.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something I give them, it's not something I tell them, it's something that we discover together, it's something I lead my clients to discover for themselves.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: So back to you.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath it for you?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath your fear?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath your excuses?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath your reasons?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: What is it really deep down?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you go quiet, you let yourself feel those emotions that I talked about before.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: You let yourself listen to the to the real truth that's underneath your excuses.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how can you center yourself in this decision rather than it being about all the external stuff about everyone and everything else?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, rather than it being about your partner, your husband, your wife, the kids, what anyone else will think or say, all those reasons, those real reasons you're telling yourself you can't choose what you really, really want.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath all of that?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because yes, they are real and valid reasons, they have some truth.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Leaving isn't all rainbows and butterflies.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And still, I ask you, what's underneath your reasons?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath the excuse?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Is it that you don't deeply believe, that you don't deeply trust?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Is it that you don't really believe you're worthy of this choice?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: That you can't have it all a deeply connected life and relationship, that you can't trust yourself to make this decision, that it will cost you too much.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because really, when it all boils down to it, that's about worthiness, right?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: We are taught and conditioned that as women we are expected to make sacrifices for our family, for our relationship, for our children.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: But what if you really owned that you are deeply worthy?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not in some future other future point in time, but right now.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: You are actually deeply worthy.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthy of a life, a love, a relationship that lights you up, one that is yours, of your creation, of your choosing.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know you worry you might regret leaving.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you might, you might regret leaving.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, there will be times, there will be times you wonder, if you leave, you will wonder if it would have been better, easier to stay.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And also, there will be times, more times, when you know in your soul, in your gut, in your heart, in your body that you made the absolute right decision.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: And having said all that, you can't really know, right?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: No decision is a hundred percent right or wrong.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's nuanced.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you worry about the right and the wrong choice or whether a decision will be one filled with regret, and that in itself can keep you paralyzed and stuck.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: The thing that you toss and turn about at night, bouncing back and forth between one option and the other.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: I read something recently, and it's by a psychotherapist called Dr.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sarah Kubrick, and she said the right decision is the decision you're willing to take accountability or responsibility for.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: The right decision is the one you're willing to live with.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, ultimately it's you.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's your decision and your choice.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about the decision, which path are you willing to be accountable and responsible for?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, not which one feels easier or more tolerable, more palatable, not which decision protects the other people or the other person involved, not which decision keeps everything underneath the surface, not the path where you can step over, dodge around, or ignore your own truth?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not which decision gives you the easier way out or through, the more comfortable option, even if really it's the least comfortable option for you, the one where you have to shut yourself down, minimize those emotions, those thoughts, your truth, your hopes, your dreams, and silence your voice?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Which decision are you willing to be radically responsible for?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Which decision are you willing to choose and be accountable for, to own for yourself?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what's driving that decision?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath it?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Are you deciding from a place of fear or a lack of trust in yourself?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: A lack of trust that you can make the right decision and to live it, to own it and create a better better life for yourself.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it coming from what you know is yours to claim?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Is it coming from a healed, empowered, embodied place, what you know you're worthy of?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it feels pretty terrifying to actually claim that for yourself, knowing what it will take, knowing what you will need to do.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to make any decision.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to make any decision that doesn't fit with who you are, what you want for yourself, any decision that isn't what you want, any decision that you're not willing to be 100% responsible and accountable for.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: But this is my invitation to you.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sit quietly with yourself and ask, what's underneath my indecision?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath my uncertainty?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath my inability to make a choice?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath my fear?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath my excuse?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, none of this none of this part of the work demands that you make any choice or a partic particular decision, at least not yet.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that might come.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a gap between our knowing rising up and us taking action.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: And support in both of those spaces can be key.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, uncovering your knowing and then taking action, having scaffolding and support and guidance.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: From someone who's done it ahead of you.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: That might be me, yes, but someone who can lead you through it is important.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't want to tell your best friend yet, reach out, build some support around you while you explore this and allow your knowing to rise and then taking the action.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because it can take some time.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: But if when you get quiet and listen, when you really feel into your body, when you allow that knowing to rise, you can't unknow that.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And after you know it, then it becomes time for action, right?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: And going back to those emotions that you are too afraid to allow yourself to feel, it's uncomfortable, it's disruptive, it's bold to give yourself permission to feel all of it, to feel that full range of emotions all the way through to the end to really allow all of it to come up.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe all it's time for you to do is just take a really deep breath.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: Take some time and take an honest inventory of what you're not looking at, what you're not allowing yourself to think, to say, to feel, to look at what is wrong and allow it to be wrong without trying to make it right, without trying to make it fit into a box or a defined container, without you trying to make something right that isn't actually right, without trying to make it right and yourself wrong, to really allow your knowing, you know, not sanitizing it, not making it all nice, because maybe it's not nice, maybe it is actually wrong.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what do you need to give yourself permission to really see and really feel those buried parts, those pushed down parts, you know, being brave enough, willing to feel what it is you're afraid to feel is a little bit terrifying because it, as I said, once you feel it, once you see it, you can't unknow it.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that might mean you have to make some changes.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's only when we're really bold enough to see the full spectrum of ourselves, our life, our existence, to fully experience what is coming up for us that we actually get to fully experience what our life has the potential to be.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, how much of you, how much of your life are you willing to sacrifice, to push down, to not live, to not feel?
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: How much of that are you willing to like yeah, sacrifice to not make the decision you know you want to or need to?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like my support either in uncovering your knowing or the action phase, please reach out.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's always a link to jump on a free intro call in the show notes.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: We can work one-on-one together.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can welcome you into Decide and Thrive, which is a haven, a cocoon, a tiny group coaching experience with me, supporting you to make hard decisions, create a plan forward to out of that stagnation, I guess, to clarity, to living, to thriving.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Always open to a conversation to explore how I can support you and what you most need to get out of your own way, get underneath your excuse, and reclaim your agency, rediscover your choices and make those grounded, empowered decisions about your relationship, your life.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe, yes, that's divorcing, but let's do it with less drama.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, deciding to stay or go is hard, but staying in uncertainty and not looking at what's underneath, not allowing yourself to fully trust that you have the right answer, you can make the best decision for yourself, that's also hard.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: So you get to choose your hard.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: As always, thank you for being here.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you know someone who needs to hear this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you can, I would love for you to rate, review the podcast.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: It means we get it into the ears of more people who need to hear it.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Go gently.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, Relationship Coach, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at ReflectCoaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you'd follow the podcast and review this episode so we can get it in the ears of a whole lot more humans just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next month for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberation.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Until then.