Latest / Mommywood / The Truth Behind Being a Garbage Mom with Beth Crosby

Transcript

The Truth Behind Being a Garbage Mom with Beth Crosby · Mommywood

0:02
Welcome back to Mommywood, the podcast where we dive into the
0:07
wild, beautiful and sometimes completely crazy world of being
0:12
both a mom and a performer. I am your host Emily, and if
0:16
you've ever found yourself running on coffee, passion, and
0:20
the sheer willpower of a sleep deprived parent, then you are in
0:24
the right place. On this episode of Mommy Wood, I
0:28
have the pleasure of talking with the hilarious and
0:30
unapologetically real Beth Crosby, who you probably know as
0:35
Garbage Mom on Instagram. If you don't already follow her,
0:39
make sure you go follow at Garbage Mom on Instagram right
0:43
now. Beth is an actor, comedian, and
0:46
a mom to a nine year old girl. She's built a devoted following
0:50
by saying out loud the things that most moms are afraid to
0:54
admit. Her content really captures the
0:57
perfect mix of heart and humor and honesty, and it's whether
1:03
she's sharing the crazy chaos of parenting or the unfortunate
1:09
realities of navigating perimenopause, she is one of
1:15
those voices that just really makes you feel seen.
1:19
She reminds us that being a garbage mom isn't about being a
1:24
mess. It's about embracing the
1:26
imperfections, about finding the humor in it and connecting
1:30
through that brutal honesty and laughter.
1:33
In this episode, we talk about how Beth has turned her truth
1:41
into a platform. We talk about what it means to
1:44
age out of the young mom phase, which I think is so interesting.
1:50
We also talk about how she's using that comedy, her comedy,
1:54
her creativity to make women feel less alone in motherhood,
2:01
in midlife and in all of the craziness that's in between all
2:08
of those moments. We also talk about how she is
2:13
working on getting Perry. Oh my gosh, I can't even say it.
2:18
Perimenopausal palooza up and happening.
2:23
I am so excited. I know that I am not
2:26
perimenopausal yet, but I feel like it's soon coming.
2:31
But the poster that she made for this palooza, this music
2:37
festival, looked so real, and now she is meeting with people
2:43
and trying to make it happen. It's gonna happen.
2:45
I'm so excited. So I'm gonna be early on the
2:50
list to get my tickets for Perimenopausal Palooza.
2:52
You better believe that again, if you're not already following
2:56
her, go follow at Garbage Mom right now and then come back
3:00
because this conversation is so great, so funny, so raw and
3:05
refreshingly real. And I know you're gonna love
3:09
this episode of Mommy Wood with Beth Crosby.
3:13
Beth, thank you so much. Thank you for being so excited
3:18
to. Talk.
3:18
To you garbage mom. Yeah, that's I know.
3:23
Had I known people would refer to me as garbage mom like on the
3:27
regular, I don't know if I would have taken that.
3:29
Name. How did how did that come about?
3:32
How did you get that started? Well.
3:35
So I I'd always done like, I've always been like a writer and
3:39
done like sketch comedy. I was like the Groundlings, like
3:42
Sunday Company and I did like two person shows and all that
3:46
stuff. And I loved making like YouTube
3:47
videos, like back when it was like the first people doing
3:51
YouTube. Yeah, back in the dinosaur ages.
3:54
And anyways, during the pandemic, like as you know, wait
3:58
a minute, maybe you don't know because your baby.
4:00
But you. Got pregnant during the
4:03
pandemic, didn't you? I think after, right after.
4:07
Was it 22/21/22? Wait, no.
4:10
OK, when was she born? She was born in 22.
4:13
I forgot when my daughters were 22.
4:15
Yeah, OK. Well, anyways, I had a
4:20
three-year old going turning 4 during the pandemic.
4:23
My career came, went to a standstill just because the
4:26
business stopped. Everything stopped and I was
4:28
like, I'm going to literally blew my brains out if I don't do
4:32
anything creative. And just something that wasn't
4:35
just like being a mom or teaching my daughter how to read
4:37
because we were like, now, like preschool teachers.
4:39
Yeah. And so, yeah, I just started
4:41
making, like, content on TikTok. I was like, officially the
4:44
oldest person on TikTok at the time.
4:48
Proud of it. Now there's a lot of old people
4:50
in there. And yeah, just that, just kind
4:53
of. You really paved.
4:54
The way paved the way for other old.
4:57
Old. Tired mom?
4:58
So yeah, that's silly. So how old is your daughter?
5:03
Now she's 99. Yeah, it's crazy.
5:06
Gracie. Gracie.
5:07
I love that's. Cute.
5:11
She's cute, she's although. 9 How's that?
5:15
I actually was like, that's. Crazy though when you're saying
5:19
that she was 3 during the pandemic but now she's 9.
5:23
I was like that. It doesn't make sense even or
5:26
like 4 even 4. I'm like what?
5:28
What? Oh.
5:29
It doesn't. No it doesn't.
5:31
Nothing nothing makes sense. Time doesn't make sense.
5:34
I literally like she sat on my lap yesterday at before bedtime.
5:39
We were like joking around and I it was the same chair we would
5:42
like sit in where I would. Read her books.
5:44
Every day before bed. Oh my God I will start crying
5:47
during this this podcast. I do almost every episode.
5:50
I'm going to cry. And then, you know, last night,
5:54
my husband put her to bed and I was like in the bedroom reading
5:58
something, waiting for her to like if.
6:01
Like, because if one of us puts the kid to bed, she runs to
6:04
like, say goodnight to the other one or make sure the other one
6:06
comes and says goodnight to you. And she didn't.
6:11
And so this morning I brought it up to her.
6:14
I was like, wow, you all went to bed and didn't say goodnight to
6:17
me. And she was like, oh, yeah, I
6:19
guess I forgot. I'm like.
6:21
And. Like I'm literally like, it's
6:24
these small things. And especially with the one and
6:26
done, which is us. Yeah, well, I don't know about.
6:28
You. But yeah, you think.
6:30
So and so it's like the firsts are always like the lasts too.
6:35
Oh well, since we're already there.
6:38
Bringing the room down. Oh my God.
6:39
From. The top.
6:40
OK. So what was your decision then
6:43
to be or how was that making that decision for one and done
6:48
or was it made for you? How was?
6:50
It was made for you. Yeah.
6:52
So I, you know, I'm like any modern actress, you know, we
6:58
always put our career first, you know, And I saw all these older
7:01
women, over 40 actresses having babies.
7:04
And I'm like, yeah, someday, someday.
7:05
I remember at like 35, I went to my doctor and she's like, you're
7:09
going to have a kid. I'm like, yeah, someday.
7:12
She's like, you should freeze your eggs.
7:14
I was like, how much is that? She's like 10,000.
7:16
And I was like bye, bye. Like I don't even know what
7:20
you're talking about. Then we did IVF and we tried
7:23
that. I had a bunch of surgeries, like
7:25
uterus surgeries. Yeah, it was a whole thing.
7:29
And it never. It happens.
7:31
So it's funny because I've done a lot of like, it's so hard.
7:35
It's so hard. I've done, like, a lot of
7:36
letting go about it. I mean, it really is like
7:39
grieving. Yeah.
7:41
And. It really is.
7:42
Yeah, it. Really is do you have that
7:45
experience or no? Are you like at the place where
7:46
you're like still kind of thinking about?
7:48
It I still have no idea what I want to do, but I feel like most
7:54
people that I've spoken to that either that have multiple are
8:01
like I always knew I wanted more than one or I always wanted
8:05
however many. And I'm like I have literally
8:08
never thought of how many kids I wanted.
8:11
I only ever thought like I'll be a mom and I never thought beyond
8:16
that. And so now I'm at the point
8:19
where I am, I'm 38, and I'm like, OK, well that's fine, but
8:28
I kind of want to shit or get off the pot.
8:30
And I can't design either way. And there's so many reasons.
8:35
For one or the other. So I'm like, I can't decide and
8:39
I feel, and I also feel like as someone who, I mean, honestly,
8:44
we haven't tried. So I don't, I don't even know if
8:47
it would be a struggle. It was, it wasn't a struggle the
8:51
first time, but who knows. And so I am like, I feel like a
8:55
lot of people where it's like if they have one, it was a decision
9:01
made for them. So a lot of it is like if I can,
9:05
I should, and I'm like I heard. That.
9:09
Too And I'm like that, it isn't a reason how I could either.
9:13
It's. Because I feel bad that I can
9:16
and some maybe can and some people can't.
9:19
So yeah. No, I it's so interesting.
9:23
No, we really knew when we wanted a second.
9:25
So I always like, I always tell people like if you're not a
9:29
billion percent sure you want a kid, as you know, yeah, do not
9:32
have one. It is.
9:34
Yeah, actually don't like it is the hardest shit ever.
9:38
Like. It completely changes your life,
9:41
your being, if you're, if you are carrying the child, it
9:45
changes your DNA and you're like, I mean, literally
9:47
everything, your brain, your brain, all of it.
9:49
And yeah, but no, I never knew if I wanted more.
9:53
It wasn't until I gave birth and it was like 2 weeks and and
9:58
having her that I was like, we're having another.
10:00
My husband's like, yeah, we're having another.
10:02
So yeah, I don't know. It's.
10:03
Yeah. How is that?
10:04
Have you had that conversation with your daughter at all?
10:07
Has she like ever asked for siblings or she asked her
10:10
siblings? A lot, Yeah, a lot does.
10:13
She still ask. Yes, she still doesn't, but I'm
10:16
like. Girl.
10:17
I'm like, girl, you know, because she knows all about
10:19
perimenopause. Because I'm like straight honest
10:22
with her, like I almost over teach her cuz I was so
10:26
undertaught about like literally everything, anything that has to
10:30
do with being a woman except being skinny you know?
10:35
I feel you. Yeah, and so yeah, she does.
10:38
And you know, I'm straight up I'm like mommy's eggs are
10:40
garbage. Mommy's eggs are grandma's like
10:44
I'm like we tried and it didn't happen.
10:45
I told her about IVF like after cuz she was at she was like 3
10:49
when we were doing. Yeah.
10:51
And you know, and I do say, like, I don't know, maybe
10:54
someday maybe we'll adopt. But you know what?
10:57
And then I do share with her like, you know, all the benefits
11:02
of being an only child. Just I've actively researched
11:04
what those are because I'm not an only child.
11:06
I have also. Have you?
11:08
Because. I'm like, am I going to fuck her
11:11
up by only having one? And I'm like, it turns out
11:13
they're like happier they're. Happier They're they're like
11:17
friends with their parents, yes, like they're super like self
11:20
assured yeah, they can like spend time by themselves and
11:24
they like that, but they can like be with other people.
11:26
I think it's so interesting because I was at work the other
11:29
day and I mentioned because somebody asked me if I wanted
11:33
another one and and I was like, I don't know.
11:36
And then three out of four of the people in the room were
11:40
like, I'm an only child. I'm an only child.
11:42
I'm an like adults like my Co workers.
11:44
Yeah. And I was like tell.
11:46
Me. Everything.
11:47
Everything. And they were all like, it was
11:49
great. And 1 was like, it's a little
11:51
hard now because all of like the stuff, anything with my parents
11:56
is just me. And I'm like, yeah, that sucks,
11:59
but I don't want to have a kid. Another kid.
12:02
For when you're on your death bed or going into the fucking
12:05
skilled nursing facility. Well also not for nothing, I'm
12:08
not an only child and I was the only one taking care of my mom
12:12
like so. You never know.
12:13
You never know. Also like I want another child
12:17
but I want an exact replica of my daughter.
12:20
Like I want the best baby, the best girl, the best daughter.
12:25
She's the funniest, she's the coolest, she's smart and like,
12:27
you don't know what you're going to fucking.
12:29
Yeah, I know. Like.
12:30
You could get a devil child from hell.
12:32
I know I'm also like a lot of my like, I don't wanna jinx it.
12:36
She's so good. I'm so cute.
12:38
I'm perfect. I feel like our daughters are
12:40
very similar. They're they're perfect.
12:44
OK, so so going back to how you started garbage mom, did you
12:50
when you started it, did you think that it would create such
12:55
a community? Because I feel like.
12:58
Yeah. That Instagram can be or social
13:02
media can be so like, you know, wanting to be aesthetic and like
13:06
yes, but I find now especially it's like no, all the things
13:11
that are messy and crazy about life or what people connect to
13:17
more So did you find that? How was it creating that like
13:22
community? You know, I always this isn't a
13:26
shock you, but I don't play ingenues.
13:30
I'm not the ingenues here. I'm a I'm a character actor.
13:33
So. We love it.
13:34
I have always like I always have wanted to look messy, like in
13:38
everything, including like when I was doing a sketch comedy a
13:41
lot on stage. I am obsessed with like the most
13:45
fucked up costumes in a way. Can you swear?
13:47
Yes, I've heard I know our kids listening and no kids a lot and
13:53
and wigs and like, like as soon as I could, if I could ever get
13:56
my gut on stage like I was, I want like I always would write
14:00
sketches. They're like Beth, put your gut,
14:02
your stomach back in your pants like so and I don't know, I
14:07
guess I wanted to show. And so when I was looking at
14:10
social media, I related the most to the women that were really
14:13
telling it like it is. Yeah.
14:14
And so I that's kind of what I always was my goal from the
14:18
beginning. And you know, I, I want to go
14:22
further and it's scary though, like because I still every time
14:26
I get more vulnerable or like look uglier in a, in a video or
14:30
like say shit like. Sure.
14:33
It's it's vulnerable because you really are putting like yourself
14:37
out there you. Know well and people feel so
14:40
inclined to respond however they feel, I'm sure.
14:45
So I'm sure I'm sure that's lovely.
14:48
But yeah, but you know, if they have the time to send a mean
14:54
message, then you're doing something right and they're
14:58
doing something very wrong with their life.
15:01
I did. I, I don't know, maybe it's me
15:03
like just getting older, like being in my 40s like, and also
15:07
I've, I don't know where I saw this.
15:10
Also I have like full perimenopause brain fog.
15:12
If I just kind of like drift off, just bring me back.
15:16
I'll do. It but but, yeah, if you, if you
15:21
are getting people pissed off, you're doing something right,
15:24
you know, and if no matter what you do, if you put it out there,
15:27
you're going to have people that hate it, right?
15:30
And that means you're doing something good because you have
15:33
a point, you have a point of view.
15:34
And I just, I think, you know, I love people that like try that,
15:38
like put their shit, like, I love what you're doing.
15:40
Like you're putting your shit out there, you know, and like
15:44
other moms, you know, need it. We need it so badly because it's
15:49
such an isolating experience. Even when you have a great
15:52
partner or like a village or whatever, it's still there are
15:56
moments where you're like, Oh my God, am I the only one that's
16:00
thinking this or feeling this or feels this like desperate or?
16:04
You know, Yeah, yeah, for sure. Have you has your daughter seen
16:09
your? Oh my God, yes.
16:11
She's and how does that? How does does having a daughter
16:16
affect the content that you do share?
16:18
Or does it that's hard. Yeah, it's hard.
16:23
It is hard. So she's seen some of it like
16:27
she doesn't. First of all, she's not getting
16:29
a phone till. 1516 and she's. Never having a social media
16:34
account I it has ruined my brain and I'm addicted.
16:38
OK. I'm a full grown adult with like
16:41
a formed brain. So she's not and but she's seen
16:46
some of mine and yeah, she's like, oh ha ha.
16:49
Like she doesn't care. Like she's, I mean, I was on her
16:53
favorite like kid show for like a guest star and she's like,
16:56
doesn't it? She's like, not that impressed.
16:58
Oh my. God, these kids.
17:00
These kids, it's she's more impressed if like, I don't know.
17:05
Who knows? Yeah, right.
17:07
It's always interesting that like, kids just really don't
17:12
care what their parents. Do they don't?
17:13
Care. It's like we love you, you're my
17:16
parent, and then that's it because all you are is a parent.
17:20
Until until like now, I'm realizing my parents are humans.
17:26
Yes. And I'm like, thinking of things
17:29
now because I'm thinking when your daughter's older, she's
17:33
probably going to look back and think of like, oh, or maybe I'm
17:36
like, oh, I was always asking my mom for a sibling.
17:40
And like, that was horrible of me because think of what she was
17:43
actually going through. And I'm thinking like, oh, my
17:46
God, Things that like my parents went through when I was younger
17:50
and I was like, man. And I'm like, and I'm like,
17:52
wait, what? Oh yeah, you.
17:55
What? No, my parents got divorced and
17:57
my mom stayed in Irvine. Okay, which I don't know if
18:02
you've ever been there, but it's no husband.
18:05
Just no. Well, he's from.
18:06
Orange. Okay, orange, well, orange is
18:08
like way more cooler. So Irvine, Irvine, it's not a
18:12
place for a single mom, especially back in the fucking
18:16
early 90s. OK.
18:17
Like, and she was from San Francisco, like, and she stayed
18:22
there so my brother and I could, like, just finish growing up
18:26
there. And did we thank her once?
18:29
No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.
18:31
You know? And now I'm like, Oh my God,
18:32
what a sacrifice. Yeah, and it's hard as a parent
18:36
because I, I find that like parents.
18:42
I don't know if it's like more of a generational thing or I'm
18:46
going to need to work on it too. Like not martyring yourself
18:49
either because it's like, oh, what do I do?
18:51
Do all this? And then I didn't ask to be born
18:55
or whatever. And he's like, well, I've
18:57
sacrificed everything for you. And I'm like, OK, well, I don't
19:00
want to ever say that. So that's.
19:03
I don't that's, that's, it's so hard.
19:05
It's like, that's honestly like my #1 thing is, I don't want my
19:11
daughter to ever for one second have to be a parent, you know,
19:16
like, because I think that I was put in that position because my
19:19
parents were divorcing and like it was, they were just hot
19:24
messes. Like I'm the oldest.
19:26
Daughter so we're like parents like you know we're still
19:29
growing we're. Literally in middle school.
19:31
Like what's happening? And yeah.
19:33
And so there were times my mom, my mom was amazing.
19:35
She was incredible. But there were times when I felt
19:37
like I had to hold the family together, which is thank you now
19:41
for all my years of therapy. Oh, right, yeah.
19:43
I mean, we should, we should all be in therapy.
19:47
Oh, I don't know how people like aren't.
19:49
In therapy, I know. Do you just like, who do you
19:51
talk to? I mean talk to friends, but then
19:54
you say the same things over and over.
19:56
And you don't get, you don't change and you don't really have
19:59
accountability and they're not like trained.
20:02
Professional SO. My besties are enablers, OK, I
20:07
if you come to me and you're. Doing wrong with our.
20:09
Friend, Oh, if you come to me and you're like, fuck it, I
20:11
don't want to have a drink right now in the middle in the middle
20:13
of the day and go shopping. I'm like.
20:15
Great. Look at your life.
20:19
As you should be as a friend. Yeah, as a friend.
20:21
Yeah, as the. Therapist.
20:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has there ever been a moment
20:27
like that? You have shared and you were
20:30
like, oh, maybe that was maybe that was too much.
20:33
I mean, yeah, for sure, there's been a lot.
20:36
An outsider doesn't seem like it because I love all your.
20:39
Content I just. If you feel like you do, did you
20:43
haven't? Well, thank you.
20:44
You know, it's just me getting used to sharing more, I think,
20:50
and it's gonna keep feeling uncomfortable.
20:53
But I look at the creators I like or the comedians even that
20:58
I admire, like female comedians that are up there, like huge
21:01
Netflix specials talking about the most personal vulnerable
21:04
shit. I'm like, so true, you know?
21:06
And I mean, Amy Schumer is talking about Cumming all over
21:09
her face and then vaginas. And I'm like, why am I worried
21:13
that I like, peed my pants one time?
21:15
Like, talk about that. Like my God, all the time a
21:22
couple. Times.
21:22
Yeah, I wear my period underwear just for the fun of it in case
21:27
I'm going to sneeze. Oh yeah.
21:28
Just in case. Oh yeah, the postpartum
21:31
situation I don't think has ever for me fully recovered.
21:34
Then it got it's gotten worse and pre menopause.
21:37
So I don't know. I just haven't like done.
21:38
I don't know what you have to do like kegels.
21:40
And it's like not added to the fucking list of shit we have to
21:43
do. I'm not sitting there doing
21:45
kegels. I'm just not.
21:46
We're both doing them right now by the way of.
21:48
Hardcore. Oh my God.
21:52
Is there any pressure though? Because like, obviously you are
21:56
so funny and you come from a comedic background, of course,
22:02
but do you ever feel pressure to make to to be funny all the
22:08
time? Yeah, You know, I think I do.
22:10
Like it's so weird like social media where you're like you need
22:16
a niche, stay in your niche or no one gives 2.
22:19
Pucks about what you have to. Say, you know, and it's like, I
22:22
feel like that was true for a bit, and now maybe I'm just not
22:27
as interested in that anymore. And also the content creators I
22:31
like, like I feel like are expanding and sharing more about
22:34
their lives. And we are more than one thing.
22:38
Like when I started Garbage Mom, it was like just about
22:40
parenting. And now obviously since I've
22:42
evolved and now like my daughter's getting a little
22:44
older and I'm in perimenopause, that's completely upended my
22:48
life. That's been such a huge part of
22:50
it. So I forgot the question.
22:53
I totally forgot the pressure. To be.
22:56
Pressure to be honey. Yeah.
22:59
Yeah, I guess I feel, yeah. I guess I don't want.
23:01
Yeah, I guess so. Sometimes, yeah.
23:03
Do you feel like that? Sometimes I don't think I'm
23:07
funny. You are.
23:08
Funny what you're talking. About You are funny.
23:12
You're like a full and complete profession to be funny.
23:17
Your new pics are so good. By the way, I love your photo
23:21
shoot. It was it's so bad products.
23:24
Mary posted pictures. I want I should go get pictures
23:27
with her because I need like brand pictures like I need like.
23:30
So lovely and she is done all of my photos actually.
23:35
And like I feel, I feel and she's an actor too.
23:38
And I feel like, I feel like I've also grown with her because
23:44
we started, she took Mae's newborn photos and then she like
23:52
did the podcast photos and then more and more and then this.
23:57
So like she's kind of, oh, she took my my maternity photos.
24:03
That's where it started. So she started there.
24:05
And so like we've kind of grown together.
24:07
And she had before my maternity photos had like just kind of
24:14
started photography, not just started, but, but she was at the
24:20
beginning of her photography journey.
24:25
But yeah, so we've kind of grown together.
24:28
So this last shoot has really been.
24:30
My favorite, It felt like a really.
24:32
Yeah, it was rich. Really good.
24:33
Yeah, and it's nice once to hear that she's such a hype woman.
24:36
She would be like drinks in the middle of.
24:39
The day, yes, live your life. I need something when I hate I
24:43
My headshots are so old to come before the pandemic, OK?
24:49
My husband stopped and he was like, oh, he's like, yeah.
24:53
She's. Great.
24:54
Yeah, I need like new all pictures.
24:56
Yeah, she'll be like you're amazing, you are wonderful.
24:59
And she's kind, will just, like, tell you how to move.
25:03
Yeah, that's what I. Need 'cause I'm like, hey, I
25:05
don't like this, this and this. Can you just keep an eye out for
25:08
it? Yeah, yeah, she's wonderful.
25:11
Has since you've become a mom, has it changed any, like, things
25:18
that you audition for or like, Have you?
25:22
Yeah. I think you know what, I always
25:26
played moms even like I was 26 when I got my first commercial,
25:33
25, and I played a mom, a pregnant mom with three kids,
25:37
OK. And I was like, no, literally
25:42
sorry. I was like, first of all, I was
25:45
so far away from the thought of ever having kids, you know, And
25:48
then second of all, I'm like, I guess this is how Hollywood sees
25:50
me because I look like middle America, you know what I mean?
25:53
Like I look like Nebraska, wherever, Midwest, like
25:55
complain, and I'm just pregnant, barefoot and pregnant, I guess.
26:00
So I've always kind of played Mom.
26:03
So, you know, it's kind of all been the same.
26:06
Do you feel like you feel more connected to mom roles or is it
26:12
just like. No, I do.
26:14
I do. Similar.
26:15
Yeah, like when I go in, I like if I went in with kids the other
26:18
day for a call back and I, I love it cuz I totally know how
26:22
to talk to them. And I think I will say like,
26:25
since your podcast is mommy would and it's about like
26:28
they're so zooming moms. Like if you can lean into, I
26:31
found that when I lean into that, like really talk to the
26:34
kids during the audition and like, really like show that
26:40
vibe, the casting people and like the directors, they really,
26:43
they see that. Oh, actually I was on Fuller
26:48
House. Do you know?
26:49
Yeah. OK, so I was flying a doula,
26:51
actually, yeah. And oh, I see that, yeah.
26:53
And. There was this they had first of
26:56
all, this is crazy. They had a two week old on set.
27:00
Yeah, and I I mean like that, no offense, but I just.
27:04
Used to have your like umbilical cord literally and not.
27:07
Only literally it was like still adapt.
27:10
I just would never have my kid, get that.
27:13
But you know, I didn't say anything.
27:15
So I'm like, get that money. Forget that money.
27:17
College fund. I hope.
27:18
Go for it. We hope so.
27:20
Anyways, I'm sitting there and with the baby and it's a live
27:24
taping. There's an audience.
27:26
Huge. Like, it's fucking Fuller House.
27:28
It's like Candace Cameron, like all biggest dreams.
27:33
And it's me and the baby. And the baby starts crying.
27:35
Yeah, starts crying and no one does shit or know what to do.
27:41
So I go hold on a second and I start singing to this baby.
27:47
And literally there was like a spotlight on me and like the
27:50
crowd was like it was wild. And like, I'm like singing to
27:53
this baby and like, I know they need, they need this to get this
27:56
tape for the baby. Just like, be quiet.
27:58
Because the baby probably only has like 20 minutes or
28:00
something. Yeah, no, seriously.
28:02
And. And so anyway, the baby stopped
28:04
crying and then they got the tape.
28:05
Yeah. So I guess that was like a way
28:07
to like, lean into your mom's skills when you're working, you
28:10
know? Oh.
28:11
My gosh, I love that. That's so funny.
28:12
I find when I don't know how I would be with like other kid
28:19
actors because I as a mom and also a teacher, I find that I
28:25
don't, I almost lean a little into like if I'm at the
28:31
playground, I'm like, hey kid, stop it.
28:33
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.
28:35
Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, I have no
28:37
problem telling other kids what to do, which is probably a
28:41
problem. I don't think it's a problem.
28:42
Same. But I would say definitely lean
28:45
into the other side of that. Yeah.
28:47
You know, like because those stage moms are if they caught
28:51
you, like Oh my God. Yeah, or like would you?
28:57
Before I like totally like rat out stage moms.
28:59
Would you like? Yeah, if she if she wanted to.
29:04
I don't know. We did like family auditions
29:08
with her and she did like a couple.
29:11
She did. Yeah.
29:13
We taped her when she was like a baby or like she's done, but she
29:17
never got anything. And then we were like, now she's
29:21
through it, you know, at a point.
29:23
And I was like, well, she's walking and talking.
29:25
So I'm like, I don't, yeah. And if when our agents are like,
29:28
can you update her photos? And I was like, there's my.
29:31
And absolutely not. And I was.
29:34
Like, yeah, I was like, actually, no, yeah, so.
29:37
So no. But if she, I don't know if she
29:40
gets older and once and I'm like, we're here.
29:42
Yeah, we're both actors, yeah. I think it's, I think it's the
29:46
kid really wants to like I was as a kid, I, I always knew I
29:52
wanted to act always. Like I took my first acting
29:54
class at South Coast Repertory down in Orange County when I was
29:57
8, which is wild to think because my daughters and I now
30:00
imagine like, and I was begging my parents too, and I would beg
30:05
them to take me to LA to get an agent.
30:07
They're like, yeah, yeah. And of course they didn't do
30:09
shit because they're like. OK, they're not.
30:11
They didn't. Understand it and they were like
30:13
OK, you think you're going to be on TV.
30:14
That's like, so cute, you know? And so I found my way to it and
30:21
I guess my daughter wanted to do it.
30:22
Yeah, I would let her, but. You're not like finding the
30:27
auditions for her. No, and she doesn't.
30:30
Yeah, she actually, I think it's the opposite effect on her.
30:34
She sees what me and my husband are doing and she's like.
30:37
Yeah, I was going to ask my husband, an actor too.
30:40
He owns his own sketch comedy writing schools called The
30:44
Sketch School. He's like a writer director.
30:46
But we did meet performing with the Second City in Chicago.
30:50
So she's like. You guys are enough.
30:52
He's like bold y'all. I've had it like instability.
30:55
Together or how do you find that?
30:59
Because I I hate self taping with my husband.
31:01
Oh, my husband won't do it and I refuse to.
31:04
No, no, no. If in a pinch, I'll be like just
31:08
fucking read this. Don't say anything, don't look
31:11
at me, don't give me notes like because he'll like just go.
31:14
He will give nothing and he's an actor like we both are.
31:18
Like my husband gives all of the.
31:20
Things. Oh, OK.
31:21
And I'm like, not your audition, right?
31:23
Just say the wine quickly and we're fine That's funny so how
31:28
do you how do you self tape then or what do you usually yeah do
31:33
for that Well if you don't when I.
31:34
Do I have a bestie? His name is Chris O'Donnell or
31:37
Chris Doherty Shout out Chris and the camera is but I love you
31:42
and we we if it's a really important audition, we'll do it
31:47
in person for each other or we'll do it in FaceTime.
31:49
But I've become an expert at which is probably why I'm not
31:53
looking on self tapes that much. Doing it off of like pre taped.
31:57
So they'll get their other line, they'll he'll like record the
32:00
lines. What are you going to do?
32:02
Like you have to. I don't know what like we can't
32:06
be wrangling people readers multiple times a week.
32:10
It's no. You know, and I don't want.
32:13
Just a random like I don't know. People just coming.
32:16
Into my place, No. Yeah.
32:17
So that makes sense. I don't love self.
32:19
Taping I don't love self. Taping full movies where they're
32:23
looking at a tennis ball, period.
32:25
We're fine, no? Period.
32:26
Good. Like exactly It's fine.
32:29
We we've got this. So how do you decide like what
32:37
to share like about your daughter?
32:41
Because that's something I'm already finding, like, because
32:45
obviously you're talking about being a mom.
32:47
And it's like, well, I don't want to give specifics always
32:51
about her that she's not choosing to share publicly, but
32:56
also like, it's part of our lives, too.
33:00
It's a fine line. It's a really fine line.
33:03
And you know, in the in the very beginning when my daughter was a
33:08
baby and I was like, oh, let's make content.
33:10
Mark was like, I don't want her to be in anything.
33:13
And I was like, what are you talking about?
33:14
Like all these other women have their kids in it and and it's
33:19
amazing. And he was like, hard no.
33:21
And then I did research and I was like, Oh yeah, hard no,
33:23
she's not going to be in anything because that's crazy.
33:26
And then I think as she's gotten older now that she's 9, I asked
33:31
her if if is it cool. Can I share this?
33:34
Because I guess she understands. Yeah, that makes.
33:37
Sense and, you know, she, she understands now.
33:39
Yeah. And I don't know, maybe when
33:42
she's old enough and she goes back and if she goes back and
33:45
looks at my stuff and is like, please take this, this, this and
33:47
this down. I will, you know, I think
33:49
ultimately I'll defer to her. Yeah.
33:52
Yeah, that makes sense. Because it is her life, you
33:55
know. And I do try to share my
33:58
experience mostly, you know. What would you tell your pre mom
34:05
self? Something that you could share
34:08
with her right now. I would say now like earlier, Oh
34:13
my God. I.
34:13
Went I do see the pros of being. 25 Oh my God 100% like.
34:19
Again, when my friends have kids that are like going to be in
34:22
high school and I'm like what I was like should I hang out with
34:26
your kid or we the same age? This is very confusing.
34:28
That that is, yeah, that is wild.
34:31
Most of my friends, I was interesting, like the sketch
34:34
comedy gals weren't having kids, you know, until we're like
34:37
older. But yeah, I would tell her have
34:42
well, I would say freeze your eggs.
34:44
Like just get a fucking loan, throw her a credit card and just
34:47
do it like, because then I maybe would have another baby, right?
34:51
Yeah, you know, and then I would say, yeah, don't wait, don't be
34:54
scared. Don't wait.
34:55
Like it was funny when I was thinking about having kids, I
34:59
was at my therapist. Shocker.
35:01
And she was like, I was like, Oh my God, how am I going to be an
35:04
actor and like and have be a mom?
35:07
And she was like, everyone has kids.
35:10
She's like, go, go on. If you go on a set, everyone,
35:14
the director, the AD, the like the, the you're fucking idiot.
35:20
They're all, they all have kids. And I was like, what are you
35:23
talking? Think about like I didn't.
35:25
And I really thought, I mean I can go into like workaholism
35:30
like I do love. Like my career was I was always
35:33
like, I'm never going to get married.
35:34
I'm going to get married in my career.
35:36
You know I got. Married and then I had a baby.
35:39
So yeah, just that you can do it and it's going to make
35:41
everything better. Yeah, it's going to make
35:43
everything better and it's more important, it just is to me than
35:47
my career. I mean, yeah, isn't that true?
35:51
Obviously our kids will always come first, especially like in
35:56
the grand scheme of things, But then there are times where it's
35:59
like you can choose your career over something of your kids.
36:05
Like obviously there's, it's all, it's a spectrum.
36:11
It's more like you're right. I feel like though, when we're
36:14
younger and thinking of becoming a mom, you're like, well, then
36:18
I'm a mom and I can't audition. How am I going to audition?
36:22
How am I going to how am I going to go on set and then what?
36:25
Leave my kid and it's everyone has kids, everyone but people
36:30
with. It's also like, why is being an
36:34
actor with kids sound so much crazier than being like a
36:39
lawyer, which is. Literally like my best friend.
36:42
She literally is a scientist researching the cure for cancer.
36:47
OK, she's so I know. She's actually doing important.
36:50
She's doing the. Important work.
36:53
And it's so funny when she asked me in my career, she's like,
36:56
what do you think of Whitney Cummings?
36:58
Like she like just asked me the like the most random things
37:00
about like coming in. And I'm like, thank you for
37:03
asking about my life. Have you?
37:04
Watched studio at the studio. Oh my God, yes.
37:09
And it reminds me of where he's at the like the gala of
37:14
pediatricians or whatever. And he's like what I do.
37:17
He's like, what I do is important.
37:19
And he's like, and they're like worst saving lives.
37:21
And he's like, but also when they're in the hospital, they're
37:25
watching movies. And I'm like, I mean, it's a
37:30
spectrum. It's a it's a spectrum.
37:32
It's a yeah, no, she, I mean, she had her right in daycare,
37:36
like, yeah, and then preschool and then 'cause she's working
37:39
fucking 8:30 to 5:00 or whatever.
37:41
Yeah. So we cannot have cancer on this
37:43
planet. That's also.
37:45
What I can't understand is like people that don't have flexible
37:49
jobs, I'm like, Oh my God, that's so hard to put your kid
37:54
in daycare when they're like. I know I I am.
37:57
Really. Grateful that I I'm really
37:59
grateful to be an out of work actress.
38:02
Yeah. Because then I couldn't.
38:04
Then I can take care of my kid. It's yeah, I mean.
38:09
But your husband has this company, there's school, so he
38:13
has more of a kind of study. Yeah, yeah.
38:21
You know, we're both we're like he created his own thing, I
38:24
created his own thing, you know, So yeah, but it.
38:26
Is you got the things. We got the things.
38:27
Yeah, yeah. But is that's so great that like
38:31
you guys have both created your own things and your daughter
38:36
gets to see you guys do what you like to do?
38:40
It is, it is cool. I hope he looks back and it's
38:45
like one day, like one day it is like, oh God, my parents like I
38:50
hope she thinks it was like they did what they loved and they
38:54
used their skill set in every way they could in order to
38:57
provide for me and for us as a family and didn't think like, I
39:02
don't know. I'm like, I'm telling you, this
39:04
is mom guilt. This is mom guilt where I'm like
39:06
she can look back and go, she was so selfish, like instead of
39:10
making the most money she could make by taking a nine to five,
39:14
she pursued her little little hobby or whatever, you know, and
39:18
it's isn't that sick that my brain.
39:21
I. Don't know, like, yeah, I mean
39:23
maybe when she has like 500,000 student loans, she's going to
39:27
think that like because mommy didn't pay, couldn't pay for her
39:31
college. I mean, who can?
39:35
I don't know who can. I mean, God bless you.
39:36
I don't know if you could pay for any college at this point.
39:40
Good for you. Yeah.
39:43
No, I don't think. I don't think she would ever
39:45
think that because it's not like you're putting her in a position
39:48
where you guys are like, on the streets, no.
39:52
And also I'm like. I'm another joy of 1 is is not
40:00
affordable, but more affordable than.
40:02
Than more than one yeah, maybe it was the universe being like
40:05
girl, if you want to be a little commercial actor and do your
40:09
little bits on like try and be a gang star on TV shows and do
40:12
your little like videos, you get one kid OK, because that's like.
40:17
I'm going to help you out. I'm going to help you out.
40:20
Right. Oh my God.
40:23
So looking towards the future with garbage mom, do you would
40:29
you want to do like like a one person show or like a show or a
40:35
show? Like yeah, what do you see for
40:37
like or what are your hopes for the future?
40:39
Because I see lots of things. Thank you.
40:43
And I'm curious. Well, so I do have a pilot that
40:47
I wrote a little while ago. That's just been that I've been
40:51
sitting on. That would be a dream.
40:53
That's about, you know, obviously being a new mom in
40:57
this day and age. I would love to tour.
41:01
Like I would love to do either one person show or have a couple
41:05
of other like parenting or perimenopause content creators
41:08
do like a like a variety type show, like singing and sketch
41:12
comedy. And would that be like just for
41:15
really just for women? Sorry.
41:17
Sorry, Dad. Sorry, man.
41:19
They have enough. They literally have so much.
41:23
Yeah. They have the whole world and
41:25
then I'm actually working on. I made this like social media
41:29
post about this dream music festival called Home Monopausal
41:32
Palooza. That was gonna be my next
41:34
question. I'm not.
41:35
Working on you're. In menopausal yet.
41:37
No, you're not. You're not.
41:38
You're not. You want a little while, you
41:39
have to. You have like 5 years at least.
41:41
What? To expect.
41:43
Oh yeah. Before I mean no, I'm, I mean
41:46
you. Could it's it can start in your
41:48
30s but knows. But no, you would.
41:50
You would know, trust me. Great, great.
41:53
I'm very excited, Yeah. You listen, call me.
41:56
Go though. Go Oh yeah.
41:59
Palooza. Oh my God.
42:00
Yeah. And this.
42:00
So this is like it's happening. I'm, I am making it happen.
42:05
The response has been crazy. And I have meetings like with
42:12
like, like music execs and like, I mean literally like, yeah,
42:17
agents, music execs, like touring companies and, and
42:21
lawyers. And I'm like actually going to
42:24
make it the. Real things.
42:25
Real things, yeah. Yeah, real things.
42:27
So. How do you feel about that I.
42:30
Feel, you know, it feels like one of the IT kind of I don't
42:34
even have this experience where I'm like, well, this is I'm it's
42:38
not about me. This is just like I'm just like
42:39
an intuit for this like idea and I will just help make it.
42:43
I want to just help make it happen.
42:44
Like when I when it kind of came to my head and I worked on the
42:48
pitch deck for it, which I posted, which I don't even know
42:51
why I did that. It was like it felt like it
42:54
already existed. It looks like an RA.
42:57
It looks legit. I was.
42:59
Like when? What are the tour dates?
43:01
Oh my God. And yeah, and I, I will say I do
43:04
feel like in my experience, since we were talking about like
43:06
being creative, like my anything that's like ever worked out for
43:11
me creatively, I feel like has come in such a strong vision to
43:16
me. You know, where or like it comes
43:19
easy. The idea and things kind of fall
43:21
into place and I'm like, not that working on shit is not
43:24
hard. And it should, it can't.
43:25
And you should work hard. Yeah, but I don't know this.
43:28
So yeah, I'm, I'm excited, but I'm nervous like like between
43:32
all of us. Like I'm nervous to meet with
43:34
these like lawyers and music. Exactly.
43:35
I gotta put my big girl panties on like my boss bitch.
43:38
Yeah, They're like, no, I'm like, you don't want me to like
43:41
do my little monologue and like do a little dance for you,
43:44
isn't. That weird.
43:46
It's. Weird.
43:47
It's weird. Yeah, that's.
43:48
So exciting though, yeah, that's like a whole other side, yeah,
43:53
of business stuff. It really is.
43:57
It really is. So, I mean, it's really like in
43:59
the beginning stages. But, you know, I had a great
44:02
therapist, another one that was like, you know, act as if.
44:06
So just act as if you. I'm going to act as if I am the
44:11
person to put this on. Yeah, we're actors.
44:14
If I'm a business person like. We're actors, that's the whole.
44:18
Point. That's amazing.
44:20
I love it. OK, I'm gonna give you a little
44:25
rapid fire. OK.
44:27
Oh. My God it's fun is my I feel
44:29
like my bra is like fully showing.
44:31
I see you doing that and you look great.
44:33
OK, no, because I know my. Boobs are so no, they're so
44:35
tiny. OK, they're perfect.
44:37
OK, great coffee or wine. Coffee.
44:40
Oh my God. Or wine.
44:42
I know. Definitely coffee.
44:44
And now I'm here in menopause. It's coffee.
44:45
The time of the day self tape at midnight or early in the
44:50
morning. Early in the morning.
44:52
Yeah, same. What's a mom fail that you can
44:55
laugh at now that was not Oh. My God, I don't know if I can
45:01
laugh at it. Yeah, well, wait a minute.
45:05
Like such a squeaky chair. Oh my.
45:06
God, I mean, literally. Yeah.
45:09
This was literally Monday. I don't even know if I can laugh
45:12
at it. But like, my daughter, my
45:13
husband was driving. We had just gone some more fun,
45:15
like a family. My daughter and I are like,
45:18
she's in the back. We're like joking around.
45:19
She's like, we're joking. I have this little, like,
45:22
plastic ball. She's like throwing it at me.
45:23
I'm throwing it at her. I throw it back at her.
45:25
And suddenly I hear, we hear full screams.
45:28
My husband has to pull over and he's like, what?
45:30
What happened? And she's like, what?
45:33
My eye? And I thought I fully, like
45:35
blinded my daughter and she was sobbing.
45:38
I thought I gave her a black eye.
45:40
I didn't give her a black eye. OK, she survived.
45:43
Nothing happened. But like, what the hell, dude?
45:46
Just like I throw a ball directly in her open eyeball
45:50
because we were just having fun. But that's like mom guilt, mom.
45:55
If it makes me feel better, when May was a baby I kind of dropped
45:58
my phone on her. Head yeah, no, I'm definitely
46:00
when I remember when I was like breastfeeding or do.
46:03
That what's the most used emoji in in your?
46:11
Town. Oh my God, the one that goes,
46:13
you know, when it's like, you know, like looking awkward, you
46:16
know, or whatever that. Yeah, we love that one.
46:20
What's your go to comfort show when your daughter is asleep?
46:23
You can watch my. God, okay I just finished
46:26
watching and this is so like white girl of me but girls
46:29
again. Oh, yeah.
46:30
And I don't know why. I just really loved it.
46:33
It was. So I don't know, maybe I have
46:34
space now from that time in my life, like the 20s, like being
46:38
that, that big of a mess. Yeah.
46:41
And and then I just really admire her writing.
46:43
Like, it's just so I don't know. It's just really comforting to
46:45
watch that. What's your role that you would
46:49
drop everything to audition for? Miss Hannigan and Andy.
46:53
It's my dream. It's my dream.
46:55
I'm teaching it right now. Is it is it sick that I would
47:00
knock for an 8 year old out to take their place?
47:04
Like you can't go on fun. Give me that wig like I'm ready
47:07
to play it. Like Oh my God, please step in.
47:10
One of my kids might be sick. Who knows?
47:13
Oh listen, call me up. What the hell?
47:14
Hilarious. Oh, I see that.
47:17
I would love it. What's the best parenting hack
47:20
that you've stolen from another mom?
47:22
Oh my God, Jesus, I don't. Know or just advice?
47:28
I don't even know about the word hack.
47:30
I don't. Know, you know, parenting advice
47:31
will just be this is well, it's really tough, but like you can't
47:38
take anything personally and you, you, you have to be the
47:42
parent. Like my daughter's going through
47:44
the face love her that where she's kind of like, you know,
47:48
she's 9 so she's getting a little bit of like sassy
47:51
attitude and and like she's kind of having breakdowns when she
47:56
comes home from school, which it means you're their safe space by
47:59
the way, when they come home from school and they breakdown,
48:01
that means they trust you and love you and they're like they
48:04
can unload on you. I'll.
48:05
Repeat that to myself. Yes, over and over.
48:07
Please remember that because you will think a lot.
48:10
I should put it on the wall and I have to just go, you know?
48:15
I love you so much. You really can't talk to me like
48:17
that, you know? Do you need a minute go?
48:19
You can go in your bedroom and then sometimes if I have to, I
48:21
will go in the other room and just be like like alone, you
48:25
know, because you have to kind of you have to be the you have
48:28
to be stability. I just want to be stability for
48:30
her you. Know.
48:31
Isn't that hard? It's so hard.
48:32
It's so hard. Regulating our emotions while
48:36
they're having a panic like oh. And I haven't done it perfectly.
48:40
I've yelled, I've yelled, I've. Yeah, I've been like I have.
48:44
To go in the other room, I think it's been not cute.
48:47
The fact that my 3 year old is like I need a minute right?
48:50
And I'm like. Oh boy.
48:53
Wow, okay, wow. Okay.
48:55
Or like she's like leave me be and I'm like.
48:58
I mean, but that shows you're doing a good job because you're
49:00
teaching her like, oh, she knows what she needs and it's OK to
49:04
say that like it should be OK to be like I need.
49:07
A minute, I need a minute. It's from you.
49:08
The hard thing is giving her a minute though, because I'm like,
49:11
you need a minute away from. Me, I know I.
49:13
Know Are you sure you don't need me to love you and snuggle you
49:15
and make everything better? Oh, I think not by yourself.
49:18
That is the hardest. That's the hardest.
49:20
I'm like, what are you talking about?
49:21
You don't want to be with me. With me.
49:22
You need a minute for me Like, yeah.
49:25
Yeah, oh boy. What is the most relatable
49:29
garbage item in your car right now?
49:33
I mean, I just blotted my lipstick on our registration,
49:40
which which I always do, and then if I one time I got pulled
49:44
over and I was like, here's my retestation, here's my license.
49:47
You all. Damn, I'm sorry like I.
49:51
Don't know. Yeah, I've done the receipt.
49:54
For Oh yeah, receipt for sure for sure, but the registration
49:57
is now covered in like lipstick kisses, so funny like.
50:01
Don't give me a ticket. So and then there's lots of like
50:05
Starbucks, like Starbucks. Of.
50:08
Course, sorry to the people that.
50:10
Say, I mean I'm. Trying my best.
50:13
I'm trying. I don't know, I'm really.
50:14
Sure. What are we supposed to do?
50:15
I don't know. Give me a break.
50:17
We can't shop at Target. We can't shop at Amazon.
50:20
We can't do all the things that I am doing.
50:23
Yeah, but it's hard. It's hard.
50:27
I'm I'm like, give me a corner store that has all of the.
50:30
Really. I don't know what to tell you,
50:32
I. Don't know what to tell you.
50:33
I am doing my best and the second I can take that leap, I
50:37
will. But it's not.
50:37
I'm not there yet. Yeah, I'm doing other things.
50:39
Yeah. We're just all doing our best.
50:41
Take our wins where we can. I don't know what is a line that
50:47
you've heard at like school pick up or drop off that you're like,
50:50
this could be content. Oh my God.
50:54
I. Feel like parents be crazy
50:56
parents or kids? The kids be Cray.
50:59
OK, Oh well, this morning this wasn't a drop off, but actually
51:02
this morning and I I think I already told my daughter I'm
51:06
going to put that in a video. She was like, I was doing her
51:10
hair in a ponytail for school and she was like, why is my face
51:13
so round and or my head so round?
51:15
I go, Oh well, heads are round. She goes, yours isn't yours is
51:19
like an Oval. And I went she's like, no, I
51:22
didn't mean that. I just mean with your chin
51:24
sticking out like, and I'm like making her ponytail.
51:29
I'm like making it tighter, like, oh, is it?
51:31
Is it like I'm and I was like Gracie and then she knows just
51:36
making gross. Me and she she's getting.
51:38
To the age where she like kind of knows it.
51:40
God of. Course.
51:42
She does. She'll be like, no, I didn't
51:43
mean that. And then she's laughing and I
51:44
always laugh it off. Like deep down I'm like.
51:48
Bitch, damn, when the kids are when they're like, what's on on
51:51
your chin? And I'm like, it's a mole.
51:54
It's a hair. It's it's a.
51:56
Big, it's a hair, it's a wrinkle, It's a, you know, I
51:59
don't know. I've started telling kids, I
52:02
actually told this to a kid that I teach the other day because
52:05
they said something to someone. And I said, oh, because for
52:11
their class they were supposed to wear black pants because we
52:13
were doing a show and the kid didn't.
52:15
And I said, if somebody cannot change something about
52:18
themselves in 10 seconds when you tell them, you don't need to
52:21
tell them. If they can't change it in 10
52:24
seconds, so good, you don't need to.
52:25
You know what I need to Because I was like, what is he going to
52:28
do? Now?
52:29
He doesn't have the pants. Now he just feels bad, but he
52:32
doesn't have the pants. That's a.
52:35
Great. If you can't change it because
52:38
it's like like a haircut, you can't be like, no, I don't like
52:42
it. And I'm like, well, too bad.
52:43
But if you have something in your teeth.
52:44
Yeah, do that. Yeah.
52:46
Tell them. Tell my daughter that.
52:48
Yeah. There you.
52:49
Go. Sure.
52:50
No, but that's so funny. Please don't tell her, because
52:52
that's hilarious. Yeah.
52:54
OK. One word that your daughter
52:56
would use to describe you. OK, I do think my daughter would
53:02
say I'm funny only because her and I, we laugh so much.
53:07
Like my husband is literally at like if we're all having dinner
53:11
together, he's like, OK, this isn't Showtime.
53:14
Like he's really trying to make it not be like a showbiz
53:17
family's like. And meanwhile, I'm like, Gracie,
53:20
get up there. Do your stand up or she'll like
53:22
I'm like, Oh my God, should we get the wigs out?
53:24
Or like, let's play? We always play like make each
53:26
other laugh, try not to laugh, like until our dinners turn into
53:30
like fun, like we're dying laughing and my husband's so
53:34
pissed. So I don't know.
53:36
And I just think she's so funny. So I just.
53:39
Love like talking so I. Think she would say that?
53:41
I don't know, yeah. Oh my God.
53:45
Well, it sounds like you're doing a great job.
53:47
You're making your daughter laugh and she's happy, so you're
53:50
doing great. Thank you.
53:52
I guess so are you? You really are.
53:55
She did say bad mommy ever to me the other day, so that was fun.
54:00
She said bad mommy. Bad mommy ever.
54:03
Ever. Like the worst mommy ever.
54:05
Yeah, you know. And topped it off with I.
54:08
Don't love you? We were in the car.
54:11
She made me cry, fully made me cry.
54:13
Yeah. That would make me cry.
54:14
Yeah, yeah. And then but then she proceeded
54:17
to ask me because I was like, that really hurts my feelings
54:21
and I am crying. And then she was like, are you
54:24
crying right now? And I was like, yes, she was
54:27
psycho. And then she cried, of course,
54:30
and she felt bad. And I was like, did I make a
54:33
mistake? I was like, no.
54:35
That's the thing too. Like.
54:35
And I was. Like, but you did hurt my
54:37
feelings. And then the next day
54:40
continuously, she apologizes for things that happened like so
54:44
long ago where I'm like, girl, let it go.
54:48
But she's like, I I'm so sorry. I said bad mommy ever and I
54:52
don't love you. I'll never say it again.
54:53
And I was like, thanks, I mean, you will, but.
54:56
Thank you. But I mean, I definitely that's
54:59
been said to me. I've had the door slammed in my
55:02
face like and I think it's safe that they're able to say that to
55:07
you, you know, are they? It makes theirs they feel safe
55:09
enough. They can say that.
55:10
You know, and I have said interesting.
55:13
You said that about like, should I say this to my daughter?
55:14
Because like the other day she's just been like kind of snippy
55:18
and I was like, you know, it really hurts my feelings when
55:20
you kind of talk to me like that.
55:21
And after I said that, I was like, should I have said that?
55:25
Am I like am I making her the parent now or am I making?
55:29
Her feel bad. Right but like I don't think so.
55:32
I think she should know if you talk to someone that way it
55:35
could hurt their feelings. Like it's important to treat
55:38
people with respect. I've always told her she can go
55:40
in her room and scream and cry and punch a pillow and she can
55:43
do whatever she wants, but you can't be mean to someone unless.
55:48
But this is when the Gen. X and me comes out.
55:50
And I said this the other day like, oh.
55:52
I know where you're going. There was another, there was a
55:54
bully situation, not a bully situation, but they are at this
55:56
like event and there are fifth grade boys that were like
55:59
ganging up on the girls. I had heard when they when my
56:02
daughter came home, my husband was telling me the story and I
56:05
was literally like, I will, did you fucking punch him?
56:08
Did you you should punch him. My husband was like, what do you
56:11
say? I was like, I'm like, fight, No,
56:15
I don't know that's the right thing, but.
56:17
We're already like, other people's feelings are not your
56:23
problem. But then it's like, but you
56:26
know, but kind. Everything is so Gray.
56:30
It's great. It's great.
56:31
But but yeah, we've always been like, you know, cuz when she was
56:36
little and starting to like bite or hit or whatever, like you
56:39
can't hit people and Preston's always like less actually.
56:44
You are defending yourself. And I'm like, I was like.
56:47
Nothing like that, no there. We'll be there for sure.
56:49
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
56:51
No, I'm on board with him for. Sure.
56:53
So. She is a woman.
56:55
I'm like, I'm going to hurt someone else's feelings, like,
56:58
purposefully, if you can say it in a respectful way.
57:01
But if someone is treating you, no one can treat you like shit.
57:05
No one can talk to you sideways or, you know, you need to stand
57:09
up for yourself and just show them that it's not OK.
57:13
Yeah. I don't know if that's right or
57:15
not. I think it's great, but I also,
57:18
I try and say you don't have to be nice to everybody, but you
57:21
have to be kind. Oh, I like that.
57:23
I was like, because yeah, I don't know, I feel like it's
57:27
like you don't or you don't have to be friends with everybody,
57:29
but you have to be kind to everybody and.
57:31
Like that? Yeah, you don't have.
57:32
To and also a lot of like adults don't need your help.
57:37
Like we go down the whole spectrum and then I'm like, are
57:41
we she's? Three.
57:42
No, I know, I know. We need to call.
57:45
No, I'm literally like, I don't know, were you like?
57:47
Yeah, having girl. It's like having your girl like.
57:50
You punch, you do you. Especially the boys.
57:55
Sorry, but I like if I had been there.
57:59
Oh, I. Would have been arrested,
58:01
probably destroyed, yeah. Yeah.
58:03
So like was it Leslie Mann and is a 40 year old?
58:08
No A4. This is 40 she.
58:11
Was like, I will destroy you. Oh, that would be me.
58:14
Yeah, that would be. Me.
58:15
It will be me. It will be me.
58:17
Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
58:19
Yeah, sorry, not sorry. We're doing our best.
58:22
We're doing all that you. Know Oh my God, this has been.
58:25
So Oh my God, thank you so much. Like, I think it's so rad what
58:28
you're doing. I can't believe you're doing
58:30
this. Your daughter's three at my
58:31
daughter from my daughter's three.
58:32
I was like a shut in, OK, I couldn't do.
58:35
I don't even I was like barely auditioning.
58:37
So you're really killing it like you're nailing it and.
58:40
I'll remind you that she is in school.
58:43
For, well, that. That definitely helps.
58:45
I mean, I would have just so. Yeah, been on the couch.
58:48
It's I'm, I'm on couch a lot. It's it's a spectrum.
58:52
Like you said. And that's our episode.
58:55
Thank you so much for listening and being a part of Mommy Wood.
58:58
I am so, so happy to have you here.
59:01
A huge thank you to my dear friend and amazing producer
59:04
Cecilia Trip with Laurel Canyon Creative and a big thank you to
59:09
Edith Mudge for our theme music. If you could please make sure
59:13
that you like, follow, subscribe wherever it is you get your
59:17
podcast as well as leave a review, which is it's a
59:20
wonderful way to support mommy wood.
59:23
Please make sure you also follow us on social media, Instagram
59:27
and TikTok at Mommy wood podcast.
59:30
And thank you again for listening.
59:33
Take care.