Latest / Shared Light / Ep. 34 - Realigning our Foundation: When Life Gets Loud, We Get Intentional

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Ep. 34 - Realigning our Foundation: When Life Gets Loud, We Get Intentional · Shared Light

• Dustie & JR: Greetings all. Welcome to another episode of Shared Light with Dustie and JR I am obviously JR. And I'm Dustie. And first and foremost, you will, especially if you're watching this online, notice that we are back in our studio, makeshift studio. Had a lot of stuff going on, as we mentioned. decided to take a look back and wanted to discuss a little bit about that. want to reflect on moving forward and how we Yeah the journey that we've taken, where we're headed, and yeah, just continue building a bridge for a lot of our listeners to have some resources and someone to, share some experiences with. So how was your week? I feel like it's just been busy, busy, busy, busy. It is extremely busy and I'm sorry, I'm trying to figure my coffee out here. We do have less puppies. Two of them went to their new homes, so it's been a little less chaotic, but I still feel like it's busy. I do feel like It is busy, but I think we've kind of grasped the flow of everything. As you mentioned, we did get two of the puppies to their homes. Yeah. they're doing great. One of them is extremely spoiled and the other one is beating up her new brother, from what I hear. Yeah. Sounds like they're settling in well. we we did obviously take the opportunity over the past three weeks to really not just do nothing because we really have been doing a lot. But we passed some milestones. we exceeded at least I think we exceeded anything that we ever anticipated in terms of people listening to us every week. Yeah. we passed thirteen hundred listen milestone, which was insane. welcome to anybody new to the podcast who joined us during the recap series. it was a good way to look back at our journey, but more importantly, with everything that we've had going on, I think it was a good moment for us to just reset a little bit. and with our daughter's birthday All the puppies, chaos. Yeah. our youngest doing online school. Our youngest doing online school. Home. That takes up a lot of my day. some of the things that I've had going on, with work and some of the other things that I've been pursuing. We wanted to take a breather. but also we really wanted to take the time to reflect on why we initially started this podcast. Yeah. at the I think at the time, when we conceptualize Shared Light a lot of it was just to really start having something that we could share together. Yeah. And it has quickly morphed into something that we I think we both actively are pursuing that need that we have to to help others. Yeah. Yeah, it was just a way for us to do something together but also help. other people. Right. Which kind of, helps two different goals that we have. And Obviously that was the purpose. It was mutual alignment. It was being able to do what we can to just get even if we help one person, I think we both feel like we've accomplished what we need to accomplish. But again, as I mentioned, we have kind of morphed also into talking about some just generalized topics when it comes to relationships. We've touched on a few things that have been going on. in social media, in the media. Yeah. And, giving our perspective and take on it. But with that, we wanted to ensure that we were still at our core. wanting to essentially keep moving and keep moving forward. one thing that you will often not hear is that having a podcast, doing a lot of the Work and prep together getting the podcast ready, aside from trying to start a business and doing everything else. I mean, it's a lot of work. Yeah, it's a lot of behind the scenes. I think we both hit a point where we felt like almost why are we doing this, right? Yeah. Not necessarily why, but I think just like in any relationship, any any part of your life, your focus starts to shift and I mean ours did because of circumstances. the puppies or our daughter, our youngest needed us, so we had to shift at that time, so I think it's it's more of it is a lot of work, but it's also I mean, life happens and you have to navigate. Well, and I think that was In listening back to some of the episodes. because I do take the time to ensure that I listen to what we're saying. I I hear back our episodes, I listen to them on my way to work as you guys would. And As we mentioned before we started the look back series, we've we've been in a little bit of a season where things have been real tough here at home. given a lot of just uncertainty and Some of the challenges that we faced. with school starting, that was another transition period. as my wife mentioned, my little one doing homeschool. We had to figure all that out. the puppies have been a little bit chaotic, just getting that sorted out. and then just the overall challenges that we were already facing, everything just kind of compounded. But listening back through a lot of our origin and a lot of our purpose and a lot of our why in the last three episodes, that we've shared with you all. We have dealt with a lot of those seasons throughout our journey. Yeah. looking back at, the day that my first daughter and second daughter came. I mean, they were both truly shocking. It was something that we were not prepared for and we navigated together. Right. And through that I think we've both found that it is in large part that we were able to do that because we were intentional in leaning on each other during that time. Yeah. Which is to say that as we navigate this part of our journey, a lot of the last three weeks has been that, right? It's been us getting back to basics, ensuring that we are intentional in what we're doing together to make sure that we're not just in survival mode. Yeah, all the time. Because when you move from and a lot of this is really tied back to my daughter turning twelve. It really hit me in a way that I felt like I needed to reflect on the last twelve years. But more than that, our last twenty years and see, everything that we've been through helps guide our journey moving forward. Yeah. because there's a different family dynamic when you have, kids that are obviously babies, but even as they transition into little kids, and now we're getting into this preteen Yeah and she's a totally different child. Yeah. And I mean that's what you want. You want them to grow and you want them to explore and you want them to, start learning those life lessons. and we've had some of those harder moments already where we've had to explain some things and we've had some situations. that I imagine are just going to keep happening over the next few years. But It's a different dynamic here at home. It's a whole different level of parenting. I think it's shifting more from I mean, of course they'll always need us, but it's shifting from taking care of their daily needs and, taking care of them as far as making all their meals and getting them dressed and getting them bathed and doing all that. it's shifted more towards helping, like I explained to them when we had conversation the other day that we needed to have. it's more now in a stage where we're really starting to teach them these life lessons that they're gonna need the next five, ten years of their life and it's letting them know that we're here on the journey with them to help guide them. 'Cause we've been there, we've been their age before. We know how difficult it can be and how, they're gonna have questions and so I think it's just shifting the parenting into more of guiding instead of just the constant making sure that they have food and and are bathed and are clothed and are, taken care of in that way. I mean I I feel like when they're toddlers and when they're little And even up until, probably the age of like six or seven, it's a lot of physical exhaustion because you're you're trying to just keep up with them and make sure that their needs are met. Right. And now, to your point, we're crossing that horizon of well now it's gonna be more of emotional exhaustion for us, which is what we've been struggling with a little bit. Mm-hmm. Because Now it's weighing on you that they're making these decisions and choices that they're going to have to learn from. as a parent, you really want to protect your kids. You want your kids to do better than you did, you don't want them to have the struggles that you did when you were a child. And we've talked a lot about that. but once you hit that milestone. it's a bit of a reality check. Yeah. which I feel like you've handled a little bit better than I have. just because I'm always gonna see them as my baby girls. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's different to raising girls and raising boys when you hit this stage. I think it's different in I mean, your perspective at eleven and twelve years old was probably completely different than mine when I was eleven or twelve, Well, and I also look back to I mean, what did I start doing at twelve? Mm-hmm. At twelve I started drinking. I started doing some of those things that eventually led to a lot of the hardship that I dealt with and a lot of my dark and a lot of the, bad choices that I made started very much around this age. Yeah. Yeah, and I think too that you also need to take in that and be fully aware, which we are, that it it's a totally different world that they live in and that they've grown up in even since they were born, than we did. So the same parenting, the same rules, the same outlook does not apply. you take in social media, you take in phones and screens and all this access and instant gratification that they've always grown up with and known kids these days, that we didn't So it's a lot easier, I guess, to look back and say, Well, this is what I did and this is how I did this and this is, how my parents parented me and but it's a totally different world. Yeah. we didn't have a lot of those conversations, at least that I remember, about safety and we didn't obviously have to have the online and internet safety conversations because we didn't have that when we were their age. But we also stayed out till the street lights came on. and our parents just kind of were like, okay, they're probably down at the neighbors or they're down at this house. But it it's just different. Yeah, I think it's just different worlds now. I think by and large There was a lot of I don't wanna say this and make it sound like it was negative, but I feel like our parents were very naive. Yeah. In the in a sense. Yeah, they didn't have the worry of strangers on the internet. Right. And I think I think one of the things that all of this information that has granted us and the technology and everything has been great with the internet and you're exposed to all sorts of things, but it has also really highlighted how dark the world really can be. And some of the things that we weren't exposed to because it just wasn't available to us. Yeah, and our parents weren't aware of it. Right. Like they are now. Right. So again, it's not to say that they were in a negative way naive. They just they didn't have the information that a lot of us do now. Right. which to your point brings up a whole new level of risk that we know about that has always existed. Yeah, I'm sure but as a parent you really internalize and think about more often. Yeah, it wasn't posted online every single day when we were growing up or on the news or you weren't hearing about it every single day and it wasn't something that you had to worry about as a parent back then because even, when I was what I don't know, maybe a teenager, early teenager, when the internet did come about, not a lot of people had access to it. Not a lot of people had computers and so it wasn't just something that we automatically had available to us. And it definitely wasn't on your phone. Right. Yeah. with you, every single place you go. Yeah. So it it's just a different Time now, parenting and you also throw in the mix mental health. and that also ties to things you see online and, what kids are exposed to every single day. And for me anyway, the same parenting that may have worked back then or that some people still try to parent today it does it just doesn't work. it can't work. The discipline, the whatever you it just doesn't work. I mean I think it can work to an extent. I think the consequences of that type of parenting now with all of the tools that these kids have at their disposal makes the rebellion to that type of methodology and parenting that much worse. I fe I feel. That's my opinion. because if you are, hard nosed, you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this, at some point and that is just human nature, right? Is you go through these phases of your life and you don't when you're a kid, you don't think about it. Now that I'm, forty-four, forty-five years old, I look back and I think, well, yeah, I went through it. I'm sure my dad went through it. I saw my brothers go through it. I see, this next generation of our family going through it where You're good kids, you're doing what you're supposed to do, and then you hit this stage where you rebel. You start making your own choices. You start learning your own things. You start thinking that you're invincible. You think you know best. You think you know what's happening in your life, and you Yeah. you can learn a lot of lessons the hard way. Mm-hmm. Depending on how you were parented, really emphasizes the level of rebellion that you're going to have. Yeah. Because I feel like in some instances at least, I don't know and I can't speak for everyone. But in some instances, if you have a good relationship and you have been able to, be an active participant with your mentors in life, being your parents and your grandparents, if you have those relationships where they have really just tried to teach you lessons along the way, you still go through those lessons, but they don't seem to be so negative. Yeah. or at least you've got the support to deal with them in a manner that is not so detrimental to your future. Right. but again, that's just my opinion. Don't come at me. That's just the way kind of visualize and see things. I try to have a relationship with my kids, but I'm also a product of my own, childhood. Yeah. That is very like there are some things that I'm very just this is the way it is and this is the way it needs to be. And I need to look at those things and and choose what battles I am going to, die on a hill on. Yeah. Because I know that I'm not gonna win all of them just because again that's human nature and you're raising kids to be adults. you're raising these kids to ensure that at least my opinion is that I'm raising my kids to be able to make good decisions, good choices. Yeah. to be able to actively think about what they're doing. And if I just tell them they can't do something because that's what I say. They're gonna just do it behind your back. Right. And that's still a decision that they're going to make. regardless of what I do or say. Right. Yeah, that's why I say we still have rules and boundaries and stuff in place with them. They know what they can't do and can do. and we know we're they're gonna push those boundaries and they're gonna do it anyway on some things. I think the most important though is that we, like when we talked to them the other day We let know We understand what you're going to start feeling and going through and you're gonna push those boundaries. You're gonna do things that you're not supposed to do. you're no different than any other kid on the planet. That is your age. we've been there, we've done the same things. So just letting them know that. We're still here with you through it. it's not just a black and white you're not supposed to do this and you did it and this is the discipline. No. Like there's this is why we don't do it. And if you do, well we talk about it, we whatever we need to do, they crossed the line, they did something they weren't supposed to do a week ago or whatever and there was consequences for it and they understand that. they knew the rule they knew what they weren't supposed to do and they did it anyway. and now they're going through those consequences of making that decision. and it wasn't, anything that they were extremely upset about or they kind of knew. I mean, it was just like, yeah, we did that. Yeah, we know we're not supposed to. how do we go from here? And I think it's it was more instead of a disciplinary like And having them upset, it was more a huge learning opportunity because that spiraled into a lot of other conversations that they needed. and they just I think just really took in that, okay, I can, go to mom or maybe not dad, 'cause he's a little harsher on his outlook on those things. But I can go to mom if I'm feeling this way or, it's it's normal that I'm feeling this way. and we can talk about it and she can help me through it instead of trying to do it behind her back and getting in trouble or, suffering those consequences. Yeah, and the idea is not necessarily to get them in trouble, it's for them to understand what the consequences are of their actions. Yeah. And to l and to learn that lesson. Whatever the lesson they need to learn. Right. So Obviously it was a good inflection and reflection point for us. that was right in the midst of a lot of chaos. But it did have the opportunity to really just bring us all back in to our intentionality, cutting out the noise and making sure that we prioritized what needed to be prioritized. Yeah. We're still in a season. We've still got things going on. Yeah. But I did want to talk through why we've able to kind of I don't wanna say that we've settled things down, but I think that we're in a better place in managing all of the noise right now. Some of it is obviously that the puppies have started to go home. but also Really understanding like for me, one of the hardest and most difficult things going on in the moment has been some frustrations that I have around some things that I got going on. And as with frustrations, as they move forward, the more you really just think about those things and highlight those things, it just drives you further and further into that frustration and then everything starts to feel chaotic around it. And same for you. It's been everything else has been going on, so you haven't been able to focus on the priorities that you have Some of the things that throughout your day that make you feel like you've gotten things accomplished because you're feeling like you're revolving around everybody else. Yeah. So really for us again it was about just kind of shutting everything else that wasn't a necessity down. Taking some time to intentionally spend with our family, taking some time to refocus on what we're doing together. And looking at the past three episodes and hearing them, it lets me have the opportunity of looking at how different our relationship is today and how we deal with things today versus how they were when we first met. Through adoption, through parenting, early parenting for sure. Yeah. And have just the basic understanding that yeah, I mean things are a little bit chaotic, but we've dealt with way bigger impactful things that have happened throughout our our journey. And as we mention it all the time, we come out better on the other side of it, all the time because we stay intentional, we do our best to communicate, we do our best to ensure that we are actively Talking that we are actively prioritizing our marriage and our family first. Yeah. And our connection. Because through these seasons of chaos and raising kids and puppies and mental health and job stuff, school stuff, it's really easy to get And slip back into that autopilot. Mm-hmm. It's really easy. Right. If you're not being intentional and you're not prioritizing, all of these things are important. Our daughters are important. Their mental health is important. Their schooling is important. Your school is important. Your job is important. Our house, my priorities that I need to get done through a day are important. But the most important is me and you. Because we are the ones navigating all of it. so I think that gets lost on not even lost, it can happen so easily. To so many people because they don't keep it intentional. They don't keep that communication open. They don't prioritize because I think they look at it like we've mentioned before in one of our episodes, like my kids come first, my family comes first. This comes first. It's a priority. It's the most important. but if you're not keeping your marriage priority and intentional, you can't navigate everything underneath it. that's that's your foundation. Yeah, and the and that's what I was gonna say is the reality it is your marriage is your foundation for everything else you have going on. Mm-hmm. Yes, it is possible to navigate these things alone. Yes, it is possible and tons of people do it. But one of the most important takeaways that you should have by now listening to us is that Marriage is important if it's something that you prioritize the relationships you keep, whether it's through marriage, whether it's through friendships, whether it's through, family And I go back to this all the time, is the anchor of why I strive to be the person that I am. Number one, she inspires me daily. I am inspired by her heart. I am inspired by the way that she does so much for everybody else, and the way that she always sees the light in people, regardless of how they feel about themselves. Add to that the fact that without her, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not be here. Without her, I know without a shadow of a doubt, I would not be where I'm at in life. That is to say, she has since the day that we started talking, since the day that I stalked her DMs on MySpace, she has been that advocate for me. She has been that person that I can turn to and lean to and has been that mentor for me to be able to have someone in my corner. That saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. That now you do. Right. Which is just that which is my purpose now, right? My purpose is to be that for other people, to be that mentor for the individuals that I lead and the individuals that I come in contact with. I want people to be successful. I think there's room in this world for all of us to win. So To your point though, if you get into that narrative of Well, now you're dealing with the kids, we're both stressed out. I'm just trying to get through school. I'm just trying to get through work. I'm just trying to come home and veg out and do and and just not be in the moment. And you're just trying to navigate the kids and trying to get your stuff done and and we're not being intentional. It is really easy to get back into that mentality where you're just roommates and you're surviving. Yeah. Which did not happen. but part of that was why we felt it's so important to take a little bit of a break. Yeah. Because we had to get back to our fundamentals and ensure that, we're good. Yeah. That we are still aligned on where we're headed, that we're still aligned on the goal that we have to move forward. you know, 'cause Goals can change from minute to minute. Mm-hmm. priorities can change from minute to minute. Yeah, and sometimes they have to. Even if you don't want them to. Right. I mean, that's life. Sometimes they change for you. And while we're not necessarily Big on date nights. we're both pretty introverted in terms of not really wanting to go out and do things. Yeah. Although we did have a really good time yesterday. Yeah, it was fun. I think the biggest areas where we have grown is understanding that our communication is everything. Yeah. And that us being able to remain intentional is everything. Being able to understand where we are, what we're doing, what's important, what the real purpose of everything that we're doing is ultimately is what keeps us grounded and keeps us, Moving forward, gives us the ability to connect with, the people that are connecting with us weekly, bi weekly, whatever it may be. Which again brings us back to the whole beginning of the purpose behind the podcast, right? Is through our challenges and struggles and the way that we focus and see each other's light and try to see the light in even some of the situations that can be difficult for people, we hope to inspire others to do the same. Yeah. if you're struggling With the relationship, I mean, have you taken the time to really reflect on what is your priority in that relationship? Your why. Yeah. Yeah. I mean why is it at the point where it's at? Is there something that you could be doing to make the situation better? Is there something that you and your partner or you and your friend or whatever need to discuss to to really just work through if that's your priority, if that's something that you're meaningfully wanting to continue. And also understanding that foundationally the person in your corner. And you are not always gonna align in How you do things, but you should be aligned in the destination that you're both headed. Yeah. you can have a difference of opinion on how you get places and how you meet goals and and what the overall picture looks like. Yeah. I mean we have different views on a lot of things. But at the end of the day, we both know that. We want the same thing. We are actively striving to get to the same thing. How do we, compromise and navigate the differences of opinion to get to that point? Yeah. And sometimes it's most of the time it's more of a We figure it out because we're able to look at each other's perspectives and we find we have like your perspective, my perspective, and getting through it and navigating it is usually somewhere in the middle. Some of my perspective, some of your perspective, So we just kind of find that middle ground of what works. And usually it's like I said, it's not necessarily of you were right, I was right, you were wrong, I was wrong. it's more of a I can look at your perspective, you can look at mine and we can find a common ground of what works in that certain situation to move forward. Which should be your goal really in any relationship. I take it back even like like team dynamics at work. Oftentimes a lot of the situations that happen, at work, with partners, even with us sometimes, is that there is a general misunderstanding of why you feel your method is the best method, but also that oftentimes the ego gets in the way And you have that I need to be right. Which we've talked about a lot on here. You should not, especially with your partner, and if you're in a relationship, you should not set out to prove your partner wrong. Yeah. one of you does not always have to be right. One of you does not always have to be wrong. No. And it's not always just about right or wrong. I mean I think one of the things for me and my perspective along our journey, especially the last five years or so, is because I've always I guess from previous relationships, whatever it may be, I've always and still do think like I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to be enough, I need to be enough. I'm This is not enough. That's not enough. and I think one of the biggest things in seeing your perspective and having the communication that we have for me is I'm already enough. Like my perspective is important. it's not even about being right or wrong. I don't need to be right, but you show me day in and day out that my perspective does matter and I am enough. And so I'm constantly getting more comfortable with, sharing And not just doing. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've always had the outlook, I guess, from I just need to be and do and be enough. And so my perspective and my opinion doesn't really matter as long as I'm doing and being as I should. and so I think even in, the first part of our marriage, I had that outlook of I just need to be and do, I shouldn't have a different perspective. I just need to be that way, that way that's good that's gonna make our marriage work. I think you see that a lot if you look at like societal norms, you see that a lot in like masculine societies where Yeah. The expectation is that the man is the man and the woman just needs to do what the man says. Yeah. they're almost looked at like possessions or objects or Which I mean I guess if you're into that kind of thing is okay. But Like for me, I need you to have an opinion. I need you to check me if I'm being an idiot. for me a partnership is that. Is that person that is your opposite enough that they are going to be honest with you enough when you're not doing things the way you should be to, reach whatever destination you feel that you need to reach. And they're not an advocate for you really. Advocating for somebody is not always going to be agreeing with everything that they say and do. sometimes you need that person that's going to disagree and give a different perspective so that you can see all the variables that these decisions that you're making impact. Yeah. Which again I I tie it all back to a lot of the work and leadership and stuff that I do. If you look at a lot of authoritative leadership models, it very much highlights this point that if you just have subordinates and you just have people that are you lead from a very hierarchical Top down structure where this person says and this person does, you don't advance organizations that way. You look at marriage in a similar facet of if you have one person that is this authoritative figure, the paternal again, you look at like masculine societies where you have this. patriarchal person in the family that commands it and makes all of the decisions for it and really their perspective is this is the way our family does things. Yeah. You have a lot of turmoil. Or at least you can. You can. And you have a lot of individuals that end up being afraid to to advance and to think outside of that, patriarch and really have a hard time challenging that and end up getting stuck. Same type of Environment. Which is a whole nother topic for That might be another topic. Another day, but And I mean we've seen it. I mean you've seen it first hand coming into my family that Our family to a point was similar in that type of structure where there was a hierarchy or At least Somebody that was trying to be a patriarch. Yeah. That didn't always align with our our views and our values. But again, that is a topic for another day. Not today. Mm. But hopefully, the last three episodes you did do some some reflecting of your own. you were able to just without knowing maybe Look back, even if it was just that looking back at when you started listening to us, if you're been here a while. But for us I think the the biggest takeaway was that we were able to sit down without distractions and ask like what season are we really in? Yeah. Which that's a good practical step to help your marriage reset when you're going through seasons. Yeah, sometimes you just need to reflect and and and I guess I look at it more like what season were we in, what season are we in now, and where are we headed? Where do we want to be? because that lets you sit and, say we're not being intentional or we're not doing what we want to be doing or we're not moving forward. Maybe you're looking at it and saying, We're actually moving backwards. what can we do different? Which we did find that actually. Yeah. We stopped prioritizing the things that we liked. the gym we stopped prioritizing. We haven't been working out the way we we were. Starting tomorrow. We are starting tomorrow again. I hadn't been doing a lot of the reading and stuff that I wanted to be doing for myself. Yep. I was not making that a priority because I was so focused on school and everything else. Yep. I really it's really easy for me to in these seasons, like when we're busy and we're going through things that I absolutely put myself on the very back burner. just simple things that make me feel me or make me feel better. so I've had to sit and reflect on those and what I can do just even daily. Right. Which is to say you need to realign your daily routine. To shift your habits to match your current reality. Not just get into the survival tactics that we were accustomed to or have been accustomed to. but to match those habits with what outcome you're seeking and what you're looking for. I think one of the things that made our marriage great, not to say it's not great. I don't our our marriage is great. But I think one of the things that really helped us both start, not feeling like there's this big just bombardment of negative after negative after negative. was the fact that we were starting to be real intentional with what we were doing for ourselves and with each other. Yeah. Prioritizing time in the morning, which we were still doing but not actively doing what we wanted to be doing, maybe. Yeah. Taking those times, out of the day, out of the afternoon, out of the evenings, out of the weekends, to just be with one another, enjoy it our time together, have some good discussion. take the time to really key in on making sure my kids are okay and making sure that my wife is okay. making sure you're okay. Making sure that I'm okay. And it to your point, I it gets real easy to just nope, I'm just gonna go into surviving and seeing where all this, shakes out. I mean it is easier. If you look at it, it's easier to go on autopilot and just go through the motions throughout your day and you don't have to think about it, you have to feel it, but that That gets you nowhere. And it really does. And I I see it even in some of the frustrations that I've had with some of the other things I've been doing is I've even been more intentional around doing things that I wanna do. whether it be at work or, while with our business or even with our podcast. Because those things, regardless of the frustrations that I have or whatever, those things make me feel better. Yeah. That I'm actively doing them. which just helps my mental health. helps your mental health because I'm not in a funk the whole time. So I would say, being able to do a temperature check is is important, practical. Yep. Shifting your habits to match your trajectory and your current situation. And then prioritizing connection for us. Yeah. It's real easy to get. Autopilot. We just talked about it. Yeah. Where you don't prioritize each other. Yeah. We're really good about prioritizing our communication, our connection, our as far as spending time together and we like you said, we're introverts and so we like to stay home. But I think it's important to and and we do we spend time together every weekend. We take every night, Friday night, Saturday night, we have our little date nights in our room and watch our shows or whatever. But I think it's important 'cause you if you look at it, when we do take the time and schedule a date night and we go out, with our only two friends or whatever it may be, how good it feels, how much fun we have, how refreshing it kind of is, to do that because we don't do it very often. and yesterday was a perfect example. I mean we went out, got to see our Broncos play at home. Boise State, not Denver. Yes. Boise State. College. And it was just kind of spur of the moment thing that popped up. We did bring our kids, but I think for you and I, I mean the kids were there and they were kind of into it kinda not. Yeah, it was kind of one was really into it at first and then it did not go well and then the other one was not into it at first. But we had a good time. We I had a yeah, we had a ball. I was into it. But I love watching football, so And we had dinner afterwards and that was fun and to your point, it was it was kind of one of those refreshing moments where like you remember why you're you're with your best friend and you remember yeah why you, got married in the first place 'cause this is a person that you have fun with and this is the person that you really just yeah, you want to share those moments with. So But it's really easy to look and say I mean it's really easy to to not do those things. Well and especially in the season that we're we don't have money. and we didn't really have the money to go out last night either. But we prioritized it and we were gifted tickets so to the game. Right. But But it was fun and and it was something that I think we both didn't really realize how much we needed in the moment. But now we're already thinking about well maybe we should get season tickets. Maybe that's could be our new thing. And we're waiting for and excited for tonight's game already. So Yeah. Again, it's about really enjoying that person that you have connected with that should be your best friend if you guys are yeah. Are married or in a relationship or Yeah. And prioritizing it, because it does help you refocus. It does help you kind of reset. It does help you look at a lot of things differently, I think. It just gives you kind of a new outlook, on maybe some things that have been really heavy or chaotic. and it does help you With even parenting, I feel like. you bond with your kids and you you're not stuck in I guess in that rut of or in the middle of a hard season. it gets you out for a little bit, and it lets you see the light. Yeah. Yeah, I mean Your guiding light. should be your motivating factor throughout your journey on this world. what that is for everybody is gonna be a little bit different. you really do need those moments and you really do need that that break sometime to prioritize the things that are important in life. which your relationships that you keep, your kids, How you make people feel. I mean, those are the things that are important. Those are the things that people remember when when you're gone. Yeah. it's not gonna be about the houses that you kept, all of the belongings that you people remember the way you make them feel. People remember the memories that you've shared with them. And those are the things that you should prioritize, especially when things get hard. Especially when the seasons are tough and We're all going through the same journey. We're all experiencing, different levels of hardship or, different levels of amazement at any given time. and on both facets of that and both spectrums of that, you should be prioritizing truly the things that are important. those amazing moments aren't as amazing if you don't have people to share it with, if you don't have people to make memories. and as we're I don't want to say we're coming out of our season. No, we're still in it. But as we're able to reflect on it and look at what we want, how we're gonna get there, what steps we're gonna take to to, get where we wanna be. Yeah, there's gonna be some hardship. Yeah, there's gonna be some difficult times, yeah, there's gonna be some moments where we're both gonna get into a funk and probably have to snap each other out of it. That's just the way, these seasons work. Yeah. But remaining intentional and remaining unified in those moments with your partner. I don't want to have these hardships with anybody else. Yeah. I don't want to have these highlights with anybody else. Yeah. So how do I prioritize that and let her understand that and show her That, we're in it together. And the only way that you can do that is through being intentional. The only way that you can do that is to remain connected in a way that you're able to discuss and communicate and lean on each other in these moments. So I hopefully you guys have enjoyed watching the last three episodes. It was a much needed break and rest for us as we continue to move forward. We'll have some some new content. just maybe talk through revisit the whole Dalton and Sako fiasco that that thing has been a mess. which is kinda funny to watch, honestly, when you don't know about it and then To me it's just amusing the way social media works and people put their business out there, but And yeah, I mean just life and our journey and we might even mix in a guest or two in the coming future. Work out. But overall, we're still here. We're still moving forward. Yep. And we invite you guys to share this episode. Drop us a comment on, your favorite social media platform. our blog has also been something that we have not been doing the last few weeks. Probably get back to that if you're reading along. But outside of that, we just encourage you all to remember to be intentional. Remember to prioritize the right things in your life. And with that, stay blessed. Have a great week and we will catch you on the next one.