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Bonus IMPROV - I'm Really Good at Bike Riding, and Darts · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to Very Fine Friends!
• 0:21
  Bonus!
• 0:25
  Improv.
• 0:26
  Improv.
• 0:27
  Bonus improv.
• 0:27
  Improv.
• 0:29
  That was a good one.
• 0:30
  Joe, can we get a suggestion for our improv, please?
• 0:36
  Yes, your suggestion is mediocrity.
• 0:43
  Well, you wouldn't know about that, would you?
• 0:46
  I worry that I do know all about it.
• 0:49
  No.
• 0:50
  What do you think it means?
• 0:51
  How would you define it?
• 0:53
  I would define it as unimpressive.
• 0:56
  Then that's not you.
• 0:57
  Well, thank you for saying that.
• 0:58
  What percentage of the population do you think believes themselves to be above average?
• 1:05
  And they're not?
• 1:06
  Well, yeah, I mean, they're not.
• 1:10
  I mean, by default, 50% of the people are below average.
• 1:17
  I think 20% of the population thinks more highly of themselves than they deserve.
• 1:24
  That number feels way too low to me personally.
• 1:26
  I feel like 60% of the people think.
• 1:28
  I was going to say 62.
• 1:30
  Because like who out there is like, no, I'm, I'm fairly worthless.
• 1:36
  I think a lot of people are that way.
• 1:37
  I mean, I'm that way.
• 1:39
  No, you're not.
• 1:39
  No, you're not.
• 1:40
  And also I feel like that.
• 1:41
  And you're also not worthless.
• 1:44
  Well, I know that.
• 1:45
  See, you do know that.
• 1:47
  I just moved into the.
• 1:48
  Yeah.
• 1:50
  Well, no, I think it's, I think it's more common that like a lot of people have, like a lot
• 1:55
  of people have imposter syndrome.
• 1:56
  It's like they are qualified and they are like above average, but they have like a confidence issue about it.
• 2:02
  And then you see the other side of things where it's like people act like they're perfect for what they do.
• 2:06
  And it's like, how did this guy get this?
• 2:08
  I feel like 60% of the people that I meet look at problems in their life that they are the cause of and blame other people for those problems, which is what I'm using as my barometer for 60%.
• 2:24
  Okay.
• 2:25
  okay i mean that's that's obviously like i'm pulling a number out of thin air but well that's
• 2:30
  math yep that's all math is just pulling numbers that's statistics okay um yeah i think i mean like
• 2:39
  there's so many people that think that they're like really funny yeah that are not i would say
• 2:46
  don't even have a sense of humor to speak of really but they think they do i don't know i
• 2:54
  I think there's a, maybe it's maybe not across the board
• 2:57
  in like every trait, but I bet you,
• 2:59
  I bet you everybody has something that they think they better at than they actually are So I think that probably a universal thing And that why I don say of the 60 of people that I meet who blame other people for the problems that they causing
• 3:14
  I don't even want to say what kinds of problems specifically.
• 3:16
  I just mean 60% of the people that I meet roughly are like that,
• 3:20
  whether that be problems at work, problems in their personal life, whatever.
• 3:26
  I just think it's funny that you said you met people roughly.
• 3:28
  and it made me think it was like a rough like
• 3:30
  hi I'm Joe
• 3:31
  only way I know how
• 3:33
  you know who has no sense of humor
• 3:36
  most parents
• 3:39
  like they don't get a joke
• 3:42
  they don't understand a joke
• 3:43
  like they're more interested in breaking down the schematics of the joke
• 3:46
  than like just
• 3:48
  getting it and laughing
• 3:49
  I feel like
• 3:51
  did Dennis hurt you recently
• 3:54
  with the joke that you made
• 3:55
  I don't do jokes with
• 3:58
  him because I mean I
• 4:00
  do like obvious ones I know how to laugh at but like
• 4:02
  like the other day I think I told you
• 4:04
  this we were saying something and he said like
• 4:06
  someone like pissed me off and I was telling the story about how they
• 4:08
  pissed me off and he wasn't responding
• 4:10
  at all he was just staring at me blankly and I
• 4:12
  was telling this whole story and he didn't give me
• 4:14
  anything like no
• 4:15
  empathy like nothing like oh man that sucks
• 4:18
  oh man I'd be pissed too just sat there
• 4:20
  like a column and did
• 4:22
  nothing and then so at the end of it I like took
• 4:24
  a second I was like then I killed her
• 4:26
  and then he like lost his shit
• 4:27
  i gotta do everything around here but uh yeah well at least he laughed at that though yeah
• 4:35
  he he pulled around at the end a little bit well i had to like bring in the big guns murder
• 4:40
  and now improv
• 4:44
  Hey sis.
• 4:52
  Yeah.
• 4:54
  Can you come here?
• 4:56
  I finished my invention.
• 5:00
  Oh, let me see.
• 5:02
  I'm just worried it's not very good.
• 5:05
  I'm sure it's better than whatever you're thinking.
• 5:09
  Okay, thanks for saying that.
• 5:11
  Let me take the curtain off it.
• 5:12
  It's made of high-tech industry-leading materials.
• 5:17
  Stupid.
• 5:19
  Anyway, here it is.
• 5:24
  It's the cure for AIDS.
• 5:28
  It's a machine that does it.
• 5:30
  It does all diseases.
• 5:31
  So stupid.
• 5:33
  Wait, did you say it does all diseases?
• 5:34
  All of them.
• 5:35
  It starts with AIDS.
• 5:37
  Is it because it goes alphabetically?
• 5:39
  Yes.
• 5:40
  I didn't even tell it to do that.
• 5:41
  AIDS and then angina?
• 5:43
  Yeah.
• 5:44
  And then breath.
• 5:47
  It can even do breath.
• 5:48
  Wow.
• 5:48
  It can do it all.
• 5:49
  God, this is the dumbest thing ever.
• 5:51
  I should beat it to death with metal hammers.
• 5:55
  No, I think there might be some practical use for this.
• 5:58
  What are you...
• 5:58
  I think...
• 6:00
  I suck.
• 6:01
  Oh, I suck.
• 6:03
  No, no, no, no.
• 6:05
  Let me get in this thing No I pushed it in the pool Ah no It doesn work anymore I wanted to see if it would cure my cancer I didn know you had that I can build it again but who cares
• 6:19
  God, why am I so average?
• 6:22
  God, I, well, I don't know.
• 6:25
  I mean, you're bad at darts, but you're good at inventing.
• 6:32
  I thought that was a good invention.
• 6:34
  So I guess, well, I guess that does kind of even you out.
• 6:36
  That makes you average.
• 6:37
  You're bad at one thing and good at another,
• 6:39
  so there's averages out to average.
• 6:43
  Yeah, you're right.
• 6:44
  Totally average person.
• 6:47
  By the way, I noticed that you're wearing glasses all of a sudden?
• 6:49
  Your vision's deteriorating?
• 6:51
  Yeah.
• 6:51
  Here, take this.
• 6:52
  I invented it.
• 6:52
  It's a pill.
• 6:56
  Wow, notice anything?
• 6:58
  Yeah, you can take the glasses off.
• 6:59
  Oh, it's suddenly all blurry.
• 7:01
  Oh, yeah.
• 7:01
  Yeah, it came to me in a dream.
• 7:03
  Oh, wait, I can...
• 7:05
  I can see through things now, too.
• 7:11
  Yeah, if you look up, you'll probably see lizard people in the fifth dimension.
• 7:14
  That's just a side effect.
• 7:16
  Oh, my God, there's so many of them.
• 7:18
  Yeah, I don't know if it's a bug or a feature.
• 7:20
  I'm not sure at this point.
• 7:21
  Oh, my God.
• 7:22
  Oh, why are they looking at us like that?
• 7:26
  Oh, God, I invented something with more questions than answers.
• 7:28
  I'm so stupid.
• 7:29
  Oh, no, I mean, this is amazing.
• 7:32
  No, I'm putting my fingers down your throat.
• 7:33
  No.
• 7:34
  Get that pill out.
• 7:35
  Oh, man. Hand me those glasses.
• 7:38
  There you go. Sorry. God, I have just no confidence. What do I do?
• 7:41
  I don't know. I mean, I would say we should go for a bike ride, but you still need training wheels.
• 7:50
  You're not good at riding a bike.
• 7:51
  I know. You don't have to point that out, but you're honest and that's cool.
• 7:55
  Yeah, that's part of your mediocrity, I suppose.
• 7:58
  Yeah, honest talent. Strikes again.
• 8:01
  No, I don't know.
• 8:02
  I don't know...
• 8:04
  I don't know what we could do to...
• 8:07
  to push you above that average line.
• 8:11
  I guess...
• 8:13
  you're never going to be quite as exceptional as me.
• 8:17
  I'm really good at bike riding and darts.
• 8:19
  Yeah, that's true.
• 8:20
  And you don't waste your time with these pipe dreams.
• 8:23
  Can you teach me even more like you, Helen?
• 8:25
  Sure.
• 8:25
  Sure.
• 8:27
  Just come with me.
• 8:29
  Okay, lesson one.
• 8:30
  Come with you.
• 8:34
  Cut to the mall.
• 8:37
  Okay.
• 8:38
  Thanks to the orange Julius.
• 8:41
  You're welcome.
• 8:42
  That helps, right?
• 8:43
  Yeah, I feel like everyone else.
• 8:45
  Maybe being average isn't so bad.
• 8:47
  Yeah.
• 8:48
  Okay.
• 8:49
  Now, what's your instinct when you come to a mall?
• 8:55
  Where's the first store that you want to go?
• 8:57
  The first store I want to go?
• 8:58
  Yeah.
• 9:00
  Brookstone.
• 9:03
  Wrong.
• 9:04
  Oh.
• 9:05
  Mm-mm.
• 9:06
  Lesson two, no Brookstone.
• 9:07
  Nope, no Brookstone.
• 9:08
  Well, why not?
• 9:09
  Can I ask?
• 9:10
  Because it is a breeding ground for mediocrity You go there and you going to keep fostering these inventing pipe dreams of yours
• 9:22
  That's where I get most of my ideas, in a Brookstone.
• 9:24
  I know.
• 9:25
  I know.
• 9:26
  No, no, no, no.
• 9:26
  Yeah, when the idea comes to me, I say, I'm Brookstoned up.
• 9:30
  Yeah.
• 9:30
  No one laughs, but I keep doing it.
• 9:32
  Yeah, exactly, because you're not funny either.
• 9:34
  That's one of the things that drives you down.
• 9:36
  Thanks, Helen.
• 9:37
  Yeah.
• 9:37
  Love you.
• 9:37
  so you need to get out there and be cool i'm i'm taking you to hot topic i dropped my orange julius
• 9:49
  i know don't worry about that they got they got someone to clean it up yeah thank god yeah let's
• 9:55
  go i'm ready okay good to the hot topic oh yeah it's really uh it's loud in here yo yo yeah it's
• 10:05
  loud in here yeah now two ways now i want you to look around this is part of your training lesson
• 10:10
  three look around what is your instinct as to what you want to buy here in the hot topic
• 10:17
  um now this is kind of a safe zone because there's not a single product in hot topic
• 10:21
  that isn't cool but there is a hierarchy of cool within hot topic okay i noticed the cashier
• 10:30
  is using a handheld laser device to scan items people are purchasing.
• 10:35
  No.
• 10:36
  I would definitely take that.
• 10:37
  Oh, that's not something you can buy.
• 10:40
  What?
• 10:40
  No.
• 10:42
  How ironic.
• 10:43
  Yeah.
• 10:44
  The thing that scans the items can't be bought.
• 10:48
  Pointing out irony is a really below average, not cool thing.
• 10:53
  Cool people don't point out irony when they see it in a while.
• 10:57
  I'm sorry.
• 10:57
  It seemed right.
• 10:58
  No.
• 10:59
  This store is filled with cheap merchandise that will make you the coolest person on the planet.
• 11:05
  And you pick the one thing in the store that you couldn't buy?
• 11:10
  Can I try one more time?
• 11:12
  Yeah.
• 11:13
  The keyboard.
• 11:14
  Oh, my God.
• 11:17
  No, the correct answer would have been a lunchbox with Nightmare Before Christmas on it.
• 11:27
  That's number one.
• 11:29
  That never would have occurred.
• 11:30
  Wait a minute.
• 11:32
  I've got it.
• 11:33
  Hold on.
• 11:34
  Beep boop, beep boop.
• 11:35
  What was that?
• 11:36
  I just invented a machine that's going to make me the coolest person ever.
• 11:40
  Impossible.
• 11:41
  Helen, I'm getting in.
• 11:42
  No, you can't invent your way out of this.
• 11:43
  I'm in.
• 11:44
  I'm closing the door.
• 11:45
  Lesson four, close the door.
• 11:46
  you can call me Helen
• 11:59
  it's me
• 12:03
  end scene
• 12:16
  放棄