Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What do narcissists do when you NEED them the most?

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What do narcissists do when you NEED them the most? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about how narcissists behave,
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  how they act, how they react when you need them the most,
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  when you need them to be there for you.
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  How did they act? Do they show up?
• 0:13
  Did they disappear? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:15
  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
• 0:17
  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:37
  Bam. Welcome back, folks.
• 0:38
  Welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back.
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  That's the question of the hour, the question of the year, the
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  question of the century, isn't it?
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  How did these pesky narcissistic people act When you need them
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  the most? When you just need a a shoulder
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  to cry on? When you need like I said, you
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  need some money. When you need a place to stay,
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  when you need a loan. When you need just something you
• 1:00
  need to just to talk to somebody when you need them the most.
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  When you lost your a family member, a friend, a animal, a
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  pet, whoever you lost, when you lost your sanity or you just
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  want to vent, how do they act? What do you think?
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  User involvement. Let's give the subscriber
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  involvement today. How do you what do you think?
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  What do you think that they do? How do you think a narcissist
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  will react, will act when you need them the most?
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  The original, the original title of this video was going to be
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  why they abandon you when you need them the most.
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  That was going to be the original title.
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  But when I was about to say it out loud, I switched it up to
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  how they act, how they react when you need them.
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  That happens. It just does, y'all.
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  It just, it's this space that so many people fall into.
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  It's this space that so many creators and something that
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  created so many people, so many victims and thrivers and
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  survivors and narcissistic abuse fall into.
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  Just like, hey, look, how do you think a narcissist is going to
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  behave when you need them the most?
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  How do you think they're going to act?
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  Most of them are going to lose their gag, lose their damn minds
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  y'all, and just abandoned you when you when you need them.
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  They just are so not now. I said the reason I I changed it
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  from abandoned because not all of them are going to abandon
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  you. Not all of not all narcissists
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  are going to abandon you when you need them the most.
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  I'm not abandoning narcissists. I know a lot of narcissists that
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  some of them will absolutely be there for you.
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  But there's a caveat to it. I'm going to get to that later.
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  But a lot of narcissists will absolutely dip on your ass when
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  you need them. That's the way it goes, isn't
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  it? They will absolutely peace out
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  on you. They will absolutely dip out on
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  you. They will absolutely just say
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  goodbye, see you later, see you later, alligator when you need
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  them the most. Like seriously, that's the way
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  it goes. I feel like that's the mindset,
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  that's the mentality. This is the space that so many
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  people fall into. Like narcissistic people do
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  that. Like they abandon you because
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  look, they don't have a narcissist.
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  I feel like have limited emotional capacity.
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  See they, they don't have, we don't have a lot of room for
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  other people's emotions. We don't have a lot of room for
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  how other people are going to feel.
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  We don't have a lot of room for how other people are going to
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  react and treat us and do it and do this and do that.
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  We don't have a lot of room for that type of stuff, right.
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  So in these situations, we abandoned you, we disappeared.
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  We shut the door. When you, when you're in there
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  crying and boohoo crying or you need to shoulder the crown and
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  the ear that you listen to, we dip on you.
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  We, we don't want to deal with you.
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  Your emotions in this situation, in this, in this space become an
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  absolute inconvenience to us. They just are.
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  I'm not saying you as a human being are an inconvenience.
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  You, you, like you are not an inconvenience as a human being.
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  But to a narcissist, in this moment, in this time, in this
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  space, you might very well be y'all.
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  You might become an inconvenience to them and how we
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  feel and how we're like, how we're going about doing things.
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  This might be the space that you're in.
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  It really, really might be. So this is something you have to
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  consider. This is something, this is the
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  space that so many people might fall into, like you might fall
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  into the space of dealing with an abusive narcissist where
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  they're going to treat you like crap because they, like I said,
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  they don't have the capacity to help you.
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  They don't have the capacity to be there for you even if they
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  wanted to. There might be a little voice in
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  the narcissist's head saying, hey, look, Lee, your wife needs
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  you right now. She's hurting.
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  She just lost her her She just lost her mom Lee, yours kids
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  need you. They just failed a test and they
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  just feel like failures. They're crying, they're behoo
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  crying. They didn't get they didn't get
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  into the college they wanted to get into.
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  You need to be there for them go be there for them.
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  That voice is going on in my head, but then you know there's
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  a louder voice that says hell no, We got our own problems.
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  What about me? What about us?
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  What about how we're feeling? What about how we how we're
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  doing right here? What about this type of stuff
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  going on right here? What about this?
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  What about that? That's the space right there.
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  Y'all, it really is. This is the space that so many
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  people fall into. It really, really is.
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  It's this this unique dynamic, this unique space, this unique,
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  this like they don't want to be there for you because they, they
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  the voice is louder. The narcissistic voice, the
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  self-serving voice, the voice that is telling you that your
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  partner's been an inconvenience to you.
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  That voice is louder than the other voice.
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  It just is. I'm just people like damn.
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  But that's kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, it can get crazy.
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  It can't get wild. That voice is just being louder.
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  It's being obnoxious. It's it's doing this.
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  It's doing that. This is what happens, you know,
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  so I share that. I share that with you to say
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  this. So many people fall into these
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  spaces, so many people fall into these doubt that these dynamics.
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  So many people do this and do that.
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  I promise you, this is what happens to so many people.
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  You get into it, you fall into it or you, I understand you die,
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  but like you fall into this space with this narcissist or
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  this abusive person and you just can't depend on them to be there
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  for you. It's like you have to depend on
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  your support system. If you still have one, if you
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  even if you haven't been completely isolated, you might
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  very well have a small support system for you right there.
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  You might very well have a few people that can be there for you
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  because you haven't isolated yourself away from everybody.
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  There might still be some people voice to listen to you or
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  shoulder to cry on and whatnot. They still they still might
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  exist for you right now, but a lot of they're not going to be
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  there for you. Y'all understand that?
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  I think a lot of people know that a lot of people get that
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  they're not going to be there for you.
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  They don't have the capacity to be there for you.
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  They just don't like again, even if they wanted to, they just
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  don't have that capacity and as people are like, well, damn, but
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  that sucks. Yeah, it does suck, y'all.
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  It sucks having this mindset like something might be
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  something in my mind might be telling me I need something
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  might be telling me that I need to be there for you, but I
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  can't. You see what I'm saying?
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  I still can't. Something in me is just like,
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  Nope, you don't you, you need you need to keep moving on.
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  You need to do something for yourself.
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  What about me? The selfish, narcissistic part
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  of me takes over, right? It just does.
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  It takes over and it makes me makes me so.
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  Destructive. It makes me not want to care
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  about the person, makes me not want to be there for the person
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  or with the person, right? This happens so.
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  But again, there are some narcissists like I said in the
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  beginning. Like I said in the beginning,
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  give me one second. Oh, that's good.
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  That's a good Diagon drill. Like I said in the beginning,
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  there are some narcissists. They will absolutely be there
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  for you. But there's always a catch,
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  right? They will be there for you.
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  They'll hug you, they'll be there.
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  They'll do everything you need. They'll be at your beck and
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  call. They'll be like, hey, you need
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  some soup, You need some cheering up soup.
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  You need your cheeks clap. What do you need?
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  Here, I got you. But guess what they're doing?
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  They're building up like it's like they're storing this for
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  later on. They're going to use this later
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  on to say, hey, look, you can't ever say I wasn't there for you.
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  You can't ever say I've never been there for you because guess
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  what? I look what I'm doing right now.
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  I'm there for you right now, Artna.
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  I'm here for you right now, Anna.
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  So you can't say I'm never here with you.
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  You can't say I've never been here with you.
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  You can't say I've never been here for you.
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  You can't say that because I'm going to.
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  I can put on my hat. You remember.
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  You remember the pet. You remember my dog died.
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  I was there for you. You like damn is your dog too?
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  But I wasn't the one crying, was I?
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  You know, I wasn't the one crying, was I?
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  You were the one crying. So you should be happy that I
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  was there for you. I didn't have to be there for
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  you, blah, blah, blah. Boo, Boo, Boo.
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  They'll say that type of stuff right, right there.
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  You mean this is what they'll do.
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  This is what they'll do. They'll use this as leverage
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  later on to get what they want from you.
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  They use this as leverage later on to say what they want to to
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  you. They use this as leverage that
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  later on to get forgiven for something that they horrible.
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  They use this as leverage later on to get forgiven for something
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  horrible that they've done to you or that they've put you
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  through. It's let it ends up being used
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  against you later on. Like no good deed goes
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  unpunished, right? No good deed goes unpunished.
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  This is what happens, y'all? No good deed goes unpunished.
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  They will use it against you. They will beg and plead.
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  They'll just like see you ungrateful.
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  If you hold them accountable for something later on, they'll just
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  say you're ungrateful. You remember I was there for you
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  when I, when I fished, when the goldfish jumped out, the our
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  goldfish grew legs and ran away. I was there for you, wasn't I?
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  Wasn't I? Wow, you forgot.
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  It was so easy How we forget when I was there for you.
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  You can't be here for me. You can't forgive me for one
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  little cheat. You can't forgive me for getting
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  pregnant by this other person. You can't forgive me for getting
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  this other person pregnant. Wow, I see how it is.
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  Wow, you must have never gave a damn about me, huh?
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  You see how that works right there?
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  That's the mentality. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the mentality that it really is.
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  I'm just recovering. That's the mentality.
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  They use that as leverage against you.
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  Later on. They just say, hey, look, you
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  cannot ever say I was not here for you because look at me.
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  What am I doing right now? This is me actively being here
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  for you, isn't it? I'm being here for you, Art, not
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  I'm here. I'm active in your life.
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  I they use it against you, So it's just like you have to kind
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  of be careful about letting this person be there for you, which
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  is dumb as hell. I know it's dumb.
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  I know it sounds dumb. I know it's ignorant as as crap.
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  Y'all, I know it's sorry, I know, I just know it is.
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  I know it's what it gives you this space right there.
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  Y'all it just it it really is. It falls into the dynamic.
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  It falls into that category where you this type of stuff
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  does start to happen. It does start to get ridiculous
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  and you know, it can't wreck your life.
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  It can't ruin your life and whatnot.
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  I'm going to slip up and said came out, use a forbidden,
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  forbidden word there. Y'all sorry and I'm not trying
• 10:39
  to disrespect anybody, but this is the space that so many people
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  fall into, y'all. It really, really does.
• 10:46
  I, I got to get my throat taken, girl.
• 10:48
  Anyway, y'all thinking about tuning into another episode.
• 10:50
  I really, truly appreciate every single one of y'all as we crawl
• 10:53
  ever so slowly to that 500K and I'm about to start doing in
• 10:57
  live. I'm about to start not not live
• 10:58
  interviews. I'm about to start doing
• 10:59
  interviews, y'all. I'm about to start interviewing
• 11:01
  people and getting my my real podcast, taking off some of
• 11:04
  these podcast episodes. I'm going to be having guests.
• 11:06
  I'm going to be doing like little interviews and things
• 11:09
  like that. Maybe quick interviews, maybe 15
• 11:10
  to 30 minute interviews with people as the podcast from now.
• 11:14
  What y'all think about that? Just leave your comments, leave
• 11:16
  your thoughts and comments in the comment section.
• 11:17
  Shoot me an e-mail and whatnot. I appreciate every single one of
• 11:19
  y'all as always. Y'all as always, mental illness
• 11:22
  is out. Peace.
• 11:24
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:26
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 11:29
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• 11:31
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• 11:35
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• 11:37
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• 11:39
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• 11:41
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 11:43
  video. Peace.