Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 6: How We Met Our Spouses - Part II

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Episode 6: How We Met Our Spouses - Part II · Just Us Sisters

• speaker-0: Welcome to the Justus Sisters podcast. Life doesn't come with a manual, so we made a podcast. speaker-3: Welcome to West Best Sisters, How We Met Our Spouses, Phase Two. This is session six of our podcast and we still have our guest with us, our husbands, to continue on how we met our spouses. We've had a good time talking about when we met them, when we met each other, what we thought about each other, and we're gonna keep up with that time. with questions for our husbands. And the first one is, what was the first impression of the sisters? And let's start with Tom. speaker-4: That's gotta be a two part question. I think Cheryl was the one I met first. I told you that in the last episode, I, Cheryl, I thought you were trying to scare me away. And I'm sorry. It's okay. But I just thought you were because you did wacky things. Yeah, you were trying to scare me away. I think it got out now 45 years later. speaker-5: I was. speaker-4: And so that just really scared me, but I obviously thought enough of Susan to hang in there. And then I met Shelly and Stacey and really, I'll be honest with you, you probably don't even remember it, but you just made me feel like I was part of a gang. I mean, you really did. You just welcomed me in the most unbelievable way. kind of felt, I kind of felt the end. So, ⁓ yeah. And then later on, like I said, Cheryl made me feel. like I was acceptable and speaker-5: Hey, you loved my kind of music. all, it was all good. speaker-3: That's all it took. What about you, Johnny? speaker-6: So Cheryl and I had been dating for a little while already. And she said that I need to come over to her parents, Mamaw and Papaw's for something. when I'm getting there, I'm finding out that it was a situation where the whole family was there. So I was getting a chance to meet all the sisters. Well, I had never done anything like that before. That's, know, family reunions maybe where everybody's there, but this was just a family getting together. And here I am. I don't really know anybody. I'm kind of scared, don't know what to say. And somebody cracked a big old joke and Susan kind of tinkled. And that just made me relax. And I realized, gee, I can live, I can be around these people. speaker-4: Susan's ever kind of tingled in her car like. speaker-5: No, he was trying to be nice. speaker-4: Thank you. speaker-7: Susan speaker-3: Andy, do you remember meeting the sisters for the first time? speaker-1: Yeah, the first sister I met was Cheryl. And I think we alluded to that earlier as part of the pranking incident, the store. And I just remembered when Shelly was telling me, ⁓ yeah, Cheryl's going to love it. She'll, she'll really get the joke. And I was like, okay. I mean, I hadn't met her. I had to go with what Shelly said and sure enough, Cheryl was a great sport and she took it in stride. And, and so that was my first and I didn't get hit. I didn't get slugged. And so then I met Stacey and what I remember from meeting you, you were kind of tied up with your newborn Jordan. And I just remember little Jordan and ⁓ I just, I remember that you had a very large family. Even then you had all of them to be quite honest. I don't remember one way the other meeting Susan. I'm guessing it was probably at some family gathering. So When there was a point in time, probably I hadn't quite made up my mind to ask Shelly to marry me. This was around the same time, probably when Samuel said his thing. And I remember Casey came up to me and said, I don't know what you're doing. And I don't know how your relationship's going with Shelly, but she is as happy as I have ever seen her. So whatever you're doing, just keep on doing it. speaker-8: that last night for first time. ⁓ speaker-0: Way to go! speaker-7: Every now and then. speaker-4: What a teddy bear. speaker-7: Try to speaker-3: What about you? You remember meeting everybody? speaker-7: Yeah, I mean, I remember, I just always remembered Susan being the business, kind, very, you know, very sweet person, very good person, but, but businessy. Cheryl was always quirky when I mean, we played basketball, we, she was quirky. mean, everybody said Cheryl was quirky and she does what she, you know, she, is who she is. She does what she does. She loves everybody deeply. And Shelley was, Shelley was protective and serious. ⁓ I really, for the first couple of years, I just didn't I didn't think Shelly cared much for me. I mean, I'm always nice. feel like not just, I kind of avoid it. So I didn't want to stir up for any reason. then, when, but I do remember telling Andy, I do remember telling Andy in the time I'd known her when she was with Andy, she was the happiest I'd seen her. And I was hoping, you know, he would come on and, you know, keep making her happy. That's people deserve to be happy. And Shelly was, that was as happy as I'd ever seen her. They were, always, I mean, I knew they were all super nice, you know, people. And I mean, Memo and Pathfall raised them. had to be, but you know, it was different, a little different with each one, but I'm glad everybody's still here. speaker-3: So did y'all ever feel like you were being evaluated? speaker-4: I felt like I am being evaluated still. 45 year evaluation and it's ongoing. Yeah. speaker-2: See ya! speaker-3: Your performance, baby. speaker-4: That's probably more about me than it is about the family. That's okay. speaker-2: Thanks for watching. speaker-1: I dated a lot and I hadn't dated in a while and I was kind of oblivious to that stuff. I know that there was the story I heard at some point early on when Cheryl and Shelly apparently I'd sent a photo, a digital photo or something to them early on and it was back when that stuff didn't work that well and apparently something happened. I moved my head or something and one of my eyes was off. And the whole thing with, ⁓ did you have rhomide? What's going on here? When we met, that was, it was like, ⁓ you don't have rhomide. That's good. That's a plus. But other than that, I mean, I have no idea even really to this day what the discussion was. I mean, I'm sure Shelly would have a little more insight as to how I was being evaluated as far as that goes. speaker-3: Well, Tom and Johnny are only children and Andy, know your brother was 20 plus years old. So you were kind of brought up as an only child. What was it like being thrown into a family full of siblings? speaker-4: It was absolute total and complete chaos. was like crazy world. But when you grow up with anything, whatever you grow up with, you think that's normal. Whatever family you grew up in, you think that's normal because you think your family's normal. And I found out that my family wasn't all that normal. I found out that your family isn't all that normal, but somewhere in between there's there's some sanity. But yeah, it was like me, my mom, my dad. Get a hotel room. There's three of us. The Rouse is like, yeah, we got a two bedroom beach house. We can have 37 people here. I just like, I don't understand this, but yeah, it was, was, it was a challenge and it was, it was changed and it was, it was just growing and understanding that you, meet somewhere in the middle and you, you find a way to get in and, different isn't right and different isn't wrong. Different is just. speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-6: I grew up thinking that you you plan everything out. It's organized and follow you go ahead you follow life according to the way you plan and want to do it. And then when I met the whole family, I realized that there's so many people with so many different things going on that you never know what to expect next. And that was took some getting used to because no matter when I show up, whatever I thought was going to happen, I had to adjust to something else. And I come to love that. It's such an awesome thing to be able to do that and experience that. And that was something that was new for me and I really, really think I was blessed. speaker-1: For me, it was like vacation initially, where it was just like, oh, this is fun and interesting and different and wow. Nothing is like what I experienced when I was growing up. And then it didn't ever stop. And after a while, was like, like what Tom said, it's like, okay, now I need to make a decision because at that point in my life, I had had enough friends and enough people I knew that had gotten married and I knew... that while I really loved Shelly, it was very important that I fit in to some extent with the rest of the family. If I couldn't stand anyone else, that was not gonna be pleasant for anybody. And so, you know, I just had to kind of figure out a way to navigate that and I'm still doing it, but it's something I look, like Joni said, I look forward to it. It is a welcome change of pace. And I think I'm hopefully getting a little bit better at it after up to 10 years. speaker-3: Yeah, overwhelming at time. speaker-0: Andy vacation I was thinking of what is it the lamp. speaker-3: ⁓ National land, ⁓ all the time. Yeah. What about you brother and his sister did are we different from that? speaker-7: Well, my family, my mom's side of the family, my whole family was big already. mean, we, did Christmases and, and, know, summers and stuff. My mom's family, all my cousins and stuff. So I was used to the big family. So being around the Ralph's family was not new. was, it was different. mean, you know, different personalities and, and things we experienced and, and, know, I've always had something to do and something, you know, somewhere to go come with me, go, let's go do this. Let's go do that. always took time to love on memo and I did I felt like I got evaluated a little bit but in retrospect they were they were taking care of their baby sister you know it's all right I'd rather I'd rather see families taking care of themselves and then not because in my I teach today and and families don't take care of families much anymore and so I love to see family closeness and happiness and togetherness and get together every year twice a year and nobody's even started you know disappearing yet so that's amazing so I rolled out of a big family into another family and my family was more chaotic. And even though Johnny said it was a little bit chaotic for him, this was, if it was chaotic, was, was a smooth chaos because where I came from, was, it was, you know, it was a chaos. My mom and dad did everything they could for us. And we just went, you know, it was, we were just, we were different. And so, but being around the Rouses was, was peaceful for me. mean, when, especially when all the kids are together, that's my I just sit back and watch my boys and y'alls boys and girls. you know, we just, was, it was always just amazing to see everybody be happy and play and eat. I've never seen people eat so much, but that family can get together and put some food away. speaker-3: Thank speaker-8: think the funniest story is when Andy's parents met our entire family for the first time for Christmas and they were getting ready to leave. had him older in life and they were getting ready to leave and Tom being an only child and had older parents decided to give us a monologue of what was the dialogue that was taking place between Andy as he was walking his parents out to the car. and explaining that at this point they're saying, get in the car, just get in the car and we can get your car later and we'll come back for your stuff, but this is your opportunity to get out of there. speaker-2: Peace. speaker-8: Tom new and thankfully. speaker-2: I'm speaker-1: Hopefully that's not what they said. speaker-3: ⁓ good. Is that what your parents said, Tom? speaker-2: Thank you. speaker-4: I don't remember. don't. My mother probably. speaker-3: No, no. So do y'all remember the men? Do y'all remember the moment that you felt like she's the one? speaker-4: Man, I don't- it wasn't like this moment, I- I just kinda knew it was- speaker-3: Nothing happened. was just. So you meant... WIT, RUT? speaker-0: to me about when we went to the speaker-2: ⁓ speaker-4: I, yeah, she was in Waco. I was in Fort Worth and I came down and I took her to restaurant to eat. It was kind of nice and I did not know how nice it was. And I was a little seminary student with a part-time job paying for my rent and my gas and my books and my everything. And I didn't have much money and it was really kind of expensive. I don't know how to pay for it. And Susan, she said, She looked at the prices, I know she did, she didn't mention them. But she said, you know, I don't really see anything on here I'm really hungry for. Maybe we could just go to that Italian place and just get lasagna. And I said, that's an awesome idea. Yes. I thought, yes, yes. thought this is the woman for me. She has saved me from being kicked out of my apartment and not being able to pay the bill. speaker-0: I saw the lick on his face when he opened the menu and I was like, he can't afford this. speaker-4: Because I couldn't afford it. Yeah speaker-5: Yeah speaker-4: She saved me. For the first time. And many more times. speaker-3: Did anybody else have that I know she's the one moment or over time? speaker-6: overtime. So I started spending time with Cheryl and realizing that she likes to do all the things I like to do. And I'm going along and just having a good time. Then I started realizing, and then her dad said this, every night is Saturday night. And that was just perfect for me. And I realized that I was never ever bored ever when I'm around Cheryl. And to this day, I am still I have not had one boring day. in our married life and that is an awesome thing to be able to live. speaker-3: That is true. Not many can say that, speaker-1: Shelly and I messaged quite a bit, probably two or three weeks maybe before she actually was willing to give me a phone number. So I got to kind of know a little bit more about her, had not seen her, didn't know anything about her other than apparently she was a 60 year old Hispanic one. And then when we started talking on the phone when she finally did give me her phone number, we talked, when she said we talked for probably six weeks, it wasn't like 15 minutes. a day once a week. were talking for hours on end, probably every single day, at least four or five days a week, at least. And we did that for about six weeks. And so that really was kind of a backwards way, I guess, from the way the world would say you should do it. But we got to know each other as people before we ever laid eyes on each other. So by the time I saw her, I thought, well, that's a really cute girl. And we were at the citywide garage sale. I found out that, cause we wanted to just do something that was really casual. And I found out she was like, oh, hey, there's that movie, Rumble in the Bronx by Jackie Chan. I was like, wait a minute, you know Rumble in the Bronx? You like Jackie Chan? said, oh, I love Jackie Chan. I was like, cat's girl for me. And she loved movies and I love movies. And so we had a lot of kind of pop culture stuff we could talk about. So there was just a very thorough understanding, at least kind of. speaker-2: Thank speaker-1: Interest and talked about family finances our relationship with the Lord, you know our desires for how we would want to raise a kid how many we would want those kinds of things we just talked about that for not a person just over the phone for weeks and no hands and women that person kind of confirmed, know what we there was like, ⁓ my gosh, something's not right here. It everything that I continued to learn about Shelly confirmed everything I already speaker-8: exhibition. speaker-1: was feeling about showing. And then when I knew nephew was looking out for, I knew that this was a good fan. speaker-3: old was Samuel in 97. He was protective. What about you? you know? Was there a milk speaker-7: I mean, you call me an hour and a half later after being up all night talking to go to church, I was, mean, I knew that was something I would want to pursue. And then the more we were around each other and more common things and just more time and more time and you know, Hey, we got to go to work. All right. got to go to work. Well, then as soon as work was over, we're back. We're not getting out. We can't wait. I can't wait to get home, come home and get your monster ready. And I mean, pretty much like Susan said, I was sold. just, you know, I had to play it out to see if you were sold. I was in it from the get go. speaker-3: I do have a few other questions and this is more now that you've been married. What's something that you love about each other that you didn't expect that you would grow to love that? We'll start with Susan and Tom. speaker-4: Go Suzy! speaker-0: I think that he stands up for truth and righteousness and is bold in that. And I had no idea. We did not date very long. ⁓ We met in September and he proposed to me in December and we got married in July. So it was like boom, boom, boom. And so unlike Shelly and Andy, we were long distance and it was like a dollar 50 a minute to talk on the phone. So we didn't talk on the phone. So we wrote letters. speaker-4: This was when dinosaurs roamed the earth. speaker-1: Cheers. speaker-3: Back in the 1900s. speaker-2: Okay. speaker-4: Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah, so that was something that I didn't know about him. I didn't know how bold and really brazen he was to stand up for things. And I mean, he's even stood up for things and got thrown in jail for standing up for the unborn. And so anyway, that was something that really is, I've grown to love about speaker-4: I'm like Andy and Johnny and their little nice little planned out worlds for you plan things for three years and then you do them and Susan's idea of a perfect vacation is we throw some suitcases in the car and we drive off and we don't know where we're going. And that's just my idea of hell. However, I think in marriage, I think opposites attract. think opposites also attack. ⁓ but I have become a lot more like her and I've learned to love her spontaneity. I was the least spontaneous person in the world and I have become rather spontaneous every once in a while, but it's been a joy. And so I think a lot of when you become a lot like your mate, and in that case, in that particular way I have, and it's been fun. I kind of shock her and surprise her every now and I shock me and surprise me. speaker-2: Mm-hmm. speaker-3: the speaker-5: When I met Johnny, he was not an athlete as far as team sports. I think he played ⁓ baseball growing up, but that's about it. But he was more into like extreme sports, the MS 150. I mean, to do that, you have to be in very good shape. would hike for a week at a time, backpack, having everything on his backpack. That's an extreme. athlete. That's not what in my mind was an athlete. But to see how he has adapted to our family and going through, you know, to all of the games that we go to and support the kids and the grandkids and some of the nieces and nephews just been a neat thing to see. speaker-6: I like to travel and Cheryl just loves to travel. We found that's a good thing we do together, but I want to think about what we're doing, how we're going to do it, when are we going to go? Let's try to get there early and do this. And Cheryl is just so spontaneous. And I hear Tom saying that about Susan. That might be a rousting, I don't know, but that was such an attractive thing for me and it still is. speaker-3: I fear the aliens. I think so. speaker-0: response speaker-7: Yeah, we plan some, not most of the time. And then, and then on the days where she's worn out, you know, being a mom and being a sister and being up, putting up with me and, know, saving me from me is a full time job for her. But the thing that I like the most is she'll say, please come lay down. Let me put my head on your shoulder and she'll take a three hour nap. And that's that to me is just, I mean, that's awesome. You know, she'll she can go and go and go and be spontaneous and then all of a sudden Energizer Bunny is done. She wants and she'll nap and she'll sleep and she'll wake up and be, thank you baby for letting me do that. Let me do that? You pretty much deserve that for a couple of days now. So that's amazing to me. speaker-3: for Casey is he's very protective and at times I did not care for that. But the more that I see husbands that aren't protective, the more I appreciate it. The more that I know that he's fighting for us, he's fighting for our family and that's, know, with the world is today, we need that more. So I've come to truly love. speaker-1: I know that our I found out that our love languages were very compatible. And so as we just went through life, she likes to plan. I like to let her. And so, you know, all the things that we we just kind of tend to fit into that mold. But one of the things that I'm sure everyone already knows about me, at least in the family, is I have some I would say non mainstream hobbies. They're not bad hobbies. They're just a little different, a little out of the ordinary. And I was really surprised. Shelly just lets me do those things. She doesn't bother me. She kind of sometimes takes some interest in them. And I love that about her. She is willing to let me do those things and let me kind of be that part of myself when I'm not doing other things. But yeah, it's nice. speaker-3: Shai, did you name the bearded dragon? ⁓ speaker-1: I didn't have one but of the lizards I did have one of them we didn't know if it was a boy or girl we just call it Pat speaker-3: Saturday Night Live. ⁓ speaker-8: I think that for me, one of our kind of pre-nups was his understanding that we take care of our parents in our family. And he went into it knowing it. He didn't know what he was getting into. And the time came for his parents to be taken care of. And we cared for them for 15 years. But Andy has stepped up in a way that has just been amazing because there's not a lot of men that can live with speaker-0: Bye! speaker-8: They're in-laws and the just the generosity of his time and his patience and everything just blows my mind and I'm so appreciative of that. speaker-1: It's God inspired. mean, I'm just a selfish person like anybody else is. And when the Lord calls you to do that, he's not going to leave you without the ability to do that because I can't do anything apart from him. So when he calls me to do that, he empowers me to do that and then just says, obey me. And so I'm going to obey and I'm going to do the best I can. as you enable me to do that. And it has not been, you know, people, ⁓ man, it's really amazing that you're doing all this. To me, it's not a chore. I can't say it's always roses and lollipops or whatever, but that's fine. It's not been a big deal. And when Shelley says, and from my opinion, when she says, you know, we took care of my folks, Shelley took care of my work. She was doing the lion's share of having to deal with issues that came up, especially once dad had passed. And it was just mom. She did a lot of that. So I can only return the favors best the Lord allows me. speaker-3: Well, I'm to start wrapping this up and I want to hear from our listeners. How did you meet your spouse and what habits surprised you that they had that you came to love and it helped in your marriage? So share that with us in the comments. So thank you all for joining us and thank you husbands for joining us and coming on and going through this with us and we know that we will have you all back to discuss other things throughout this podcast. But stay tuned to next week as we discuss raising parents. I think we've all had a little bit of a part of that with our in-laws or our parents. And we'll have some fun stories in the good, the bad, and the ugly that go with that. Until then, life is messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. Be sure to speaker-5: Share. speaker-3: and subscribe. Bye. speaker-8: Let's stop for one minute, Stein. Something is wrong with Susan and Tom's camera. speaker-3: ⁓ It'll come out clear because that's Cheryl normally is to me. Okay. speaker-5: Is the lens clean? speaker-0: Let me look. speaker-1: It just looks a little red. speaker-4: I'm naturally out of focus. speaker-1: You've got a permanent soft filter on you. speaker-6: I can loan you my cap, it might help with your focus. speaker-7: big. speaker-0: You don't have to be here. speaker-4: Actually, you do Casey. speaker-2: I'm with you. speaker-7: Not in my vocabulary. speaker-5: Ha! speaker-3: Okay, yeah, it is. I think you'll come out. Has anybody been, not now? Yeah, there's like a hair on Tom's side. A hair? speaker-7: ⁓ it's gonna come out. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-6: Thank you. speaker-1: like a that's like a either a light it might be or something on your yes something on your lens it's over by that it's to the right of Tom's head but it's it's not back in the back speaker-4: I'm going go speaker-3: Lens, Susan, just kind of like, hold your word again. speaker-2: you speaker-1: Folks! speaker-4: That's what you work at. speaker-1: ⁓ it's something's reflecting on it. I bet it's that that whatever that is right behind Tom's head that reflective frame. Well, it's back. speaker-3: I ⁓ speaker-8: Yeah. speaker-0: Well, I mean, not to turn on the light. No, speaker-8: turn on the light. It's better when you don't. better. good. Yeah. In the dark. It's not. speaker-1: It's not dark. speaker-0: Okay, when the sun will be in the dark, light we have is outside. speaker-3: I'm gonna go cry speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-3: Okay. ⁓ Okay. Y'all ready to get started again? Yeah. Okay. ⁓ speaker-8: Stacey, did you have to speaker-0: I'm canceling. speaker-2: I have to change speaker-1: was no- speaker-3: No, because it's a phase two. Otherwise, OK, for a phase. speaker-4: the ⁓ speaker-3: Actually, I don't. Yeah. Hey, do y'all think we need a phase two? Okay. Yeah, I cut it off at thirty three because I know that you're going to cut some out Shelley. Yeah. speaker-4: It's going to get dark. speaker-0: Yeah. How long did that take? speaker-1: it's speaker-8: 33 minutes. It'll be just fine. speaker-3: Okay. And then do we continue on this one? speaker-8: Do it like you're introducing the episode again. Okay. But this will be Cheryl is for this will be six. speaker-3: Okay, and then on this one, y'all, I'm going to start with. ⁓ speaker-4: He has left the building. Susan has left the building. speaker-5: Okay, well, Johnny's ⁓ impression you're going to answer for her. Okay, Johnny. speaker-4: You told me to ask her for her. speaker-1: So speaker-6: Well, the first time I met the sisters, I don't remember. I don't remember a whole lot, but all all four of y'all were together and somebody did something that caused everybody start laughing. And Susan did her signature thing. He peed and that was that I don't remember anything else. speaker-4: you ping. speaker-5: Oh, but he wants to know, is it okay if he tells that story? speaker-4: She peed ⁓ speaker-2: Thank speaker-6: let's go careful i won't go there speaker-5: All right, speaker-7: Florida to pick a booger, she won't. speaker-3: Okay. speaker-5: if he ⁓ shares that. speaker-3: Yeah, Session 6, you said? Okay. Okay. If I look at the camera. ⁓ speaker-1: Take. speaker-4: I understand why he can't get his thing going. I just don't understand that. That's wrong. speaker-6: Yeah. speaker-5: No, haven't. This is over. We're having our one time a week. What do call it? speaker-6: Yeah. speaker-3: ⁓ nice! speaker-5: We're going to. We should have. ⁓ speaker-6: We'll be relaxed this evening. speaker-2: See you speaker-3: Hey, Shelly, what's next? can't remember. speaker-2: Okay.