Latest / ok storytime / I told my boyfriend I WOULDN'T marry him… he instantly became the perfect partner! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | EP3111

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I told my boyfriend I WOULDN'T marry him… he instantly became the perfect partner! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | EP3111 · ok storytime

0:00
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Keon.
0:01
Speaker 2: And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
0:04
Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up. But before that,
0:07
Speaker 2: we have a two-minute break from the sponsors that keep
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Speaker 2: the show going. I told my boyfriend I wouldn't marry him.
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Speaker 2: And he instantly became the perfect partner.
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Speaker 3: Well, now I'm confused.
0:17
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I had a huge and rare fight.
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Speaker 2: On Easter, culminating in me telling him I would not
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Speaker 2: marry him as he is, after being together for almost
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Speaker 2: five years and living together for most of that time.
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Speaker 2: I was saying that hypothetically, as we've spoken of marriage before,
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Speaker 2: but he eventually revealed he has a family ring in
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Speaker 2: his possession now. I still said that if he were
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Speaker 2: to officially ask, I'd say no right now, because I
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Speaker 2: feel alone in our relationship most of the time, and
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Speaker 2: there's no point in a marriage with no companionship. We
0:49
Speaker 2: mostly don't have companionship because my boyfriend games for at
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Speaker 2: least 35 hours a week and often more in addition
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Speaker 2: to a full-time job.
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Speaker 3: He's a gamer.
1:00
Speaker 2: He's married to the game, bro. You can't be married
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Speaker 2: to the game and married to your wife.
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Speaker 3: You're not getting it. I'm standing on business. I'm a gamer.
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Speaker 2: I like gaming, but I don't do it because I
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Speaker 2: know I will binge on it. Instead, I go to
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Speaker 2: the gym, read, write, watch movies and TV shows, go
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Speaker 2: on walks, and sometimes go to coffee shops or out
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Speaker 2: with friends. I've asked him to join me in any
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Speaker 2: and all of this in the past, but he yells
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Speaker 2: at gaming friends over the TV, games even when we're
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Speaker 2: watching something new, and doesn't want to go out or
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Speaker 2: tell me he doesn't want to stay anywhere late and
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Speaker 2: just doesn't feel like doing much of anything else I
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Speaker 2: ask about. I pointed all of this out in our fight,
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Speaker 2: though I've communicated these issues countless times, as well as
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Speaker 2: the fact that I do about 80% of the housework
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Speaker 2: and that I am always the one to initiate it
1:52
Speaker 2: and have to nag him, which I hate doing, to
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Speaker 2: make him help. I thought saying all this to him
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Speaker 2: in conjunction with the fact that I wouldn't marry him
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Speaker 2: at this point would wake him up, but.
2:03
Speaker 2: This story comes from 40416. If you want to submit
2:07
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
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Speaker 4: I'm Dakota.
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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
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Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
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Speaker 4: And it is our solemn.
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Speaker 2: Duty to read this story to you and give the
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Speaker 2: goodest little goofy advice we can give you.
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Speaker 4: But we don't know everything.
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Speaker 2: So give your advice in the comments and maybe you'll
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Speaker 2: win a prize. Probably not. OP says, A few days
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Speaker 2: after our fight, my boyfriend spent a few hundred bucks
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Speaker 2: on unnecessary gaming crap. I didn't even have it in
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Speaker 2: me to argue. I just receded into indifference and rang
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Speaker 2: a few friends about visiting them in other states to
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Speaker 2: get away from my I'm not cheating on you or
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Speaker 2: being abusive, so I must be a great boyfriend relationship.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just kind of there.
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Speaker 1: I'm doing the bare minimum.
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Speaker 4: Why are we staying?
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Speaker 3: I don't know.
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Speaker 2: Even if he flips it all the way around, I
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Speaker 2: don't believe it until seven months have gone by.
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Speaker 3: I mean, and also, like, why would you want To
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Speaker 3: be with someone who it takes getting to rock bottom
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Speaker 3: to realize, oh, I want to be with you and
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Speaker 3: I want to show up for you. Like, why would
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Speaker 3: we want to be with someone like that? Like, they
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Speaker 3: can go show up for someone else.
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Speaker 2: I may have had some drinks and confessed to one
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Speaker 2: of my friends that I honestly didn't believe we were
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Speaker 2: going to make it anymore and that I did not
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Speaker 2: have the heart to end it either. I drank a
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Speaker 2: lot and cried alone. Came to the conclusion at one
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Speaker 2: point that since he didn't buy the gaming crap with malice,
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Speaker 2: maybe he's just super effing clueless. That honestly made me
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Speaker 2: feel a little bit better. Until dot dot dot. He
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Speaker 2: noticed I wasn't humoring him as much. Quote, we can go,
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Speaker 2: but I don't want to stay late. Okay, sounds like
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Speaker 2: you don't want to go, so I'll go alone.
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Speaker 4: Bye.
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Speaker 2: He started saying things like, I love you forever? Shut up.
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Speaker 3: Do you love me forever to the moon and back?
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Speaker 3: How much do you love me? This much?
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Speaker 2: He tried to have a spastic times with me, but
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Speaker 2: I did not feel like it because he's pretty selfish
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Speaker 2: in the bedroom. And he finally said, we're okay, right?
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Speaker 2: I told him no, but I had nothing new to say.
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Speaker 2: So he's been texting me more as opposed to hardly replying.
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Speaker 2: He initiated errands that he forgot about for over a month.
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Speaker 2: He's been making dinner despite buying himself a restaurant lunch
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Speaker 2: almost every day, emptying the dishwasher after I wash the
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Speaker 2: dishes and load it, telling me I'm beautiful, offering to
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Speaker 2: do things for me, trying to give me a massage,
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Speaker 2: and yet I find I'm mostly just angry. I'm angry
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Speaker 2: that he ignored me every other time I brought these
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Speaker 2: issues up for almost five years. I'm resentful of his
4:36
Speaker 2: countless one-sided, uh, ohs, and the number of times I've
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Speaker 2: washed and folded or hung his clothes. The hours logged
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Speaker 2: in WoW, StarCraft, CSGO, Dota, and the countless other realities
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Speaker 2: that were more important than the one he shared with me,
4:52
Speaker 2: even when I was standing next to him, trying to
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Speaker 2: speak to him, or just wanting to have a quick
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Speaker 2: meal together. And I'm just so angry that judging by
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Speaker 2: this brand new and improved version of himself, he knew
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Speaker 2: what he was doing wrong the whole time, and it
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Speaker 2: wasn't until I finally seemed to have given up carrying
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Speaker 2: us that he bothered to hold his own weight. Maybe
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Speaker 2: this is what most hopeless significant others dream of, a
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Speaker 2: hint of change. But one, I don't know that I
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Speaker 2: believe it's real. Most of me thinks he's just doing
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Speaker 2: this to placate me. I'd be afraid to marry him
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Speaker 2: and see him revert when he thinks it's all settled. Two,
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Speaker 2: I don't know that holding his own weight is enough anymore.
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Speaker 2: Maybe that's the resentment speaking, but I don't know that
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Speaker 2: spreading ant bait and putting your socks in the laundry
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Speaker 2: basket is enough to make me buy into this relationship again.
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Speaker 4: I don't want to be resentful. I don't want to
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Speaker 4: hurt him or be cruel.
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Speaker 2: But he's acting like a good boyfriend and keeping his
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Speaker 2: head down, I suppose in hopes of making me forget
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Speaker 2: our fight and play along. And it's not enough, but
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Speaker 2: I don't know what enough looks like. My friends recommend
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Speaker 2: that I put together a specific list of what I
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Speaker 2: need to see to think the situation is truly better,
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Speaker 2: but I don't know where to begin or what to expect.
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Speaker 2: I've thought of asking for counseling as a start, but
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Speaker 2: he thinks 24 hours of good behavior means that I
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Speaker 2: shouldn't be upset anymore, so I don't know that he'll
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Speaker 2: agree to go. Do I ask? Do I insist? I
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Speaker 2: want to want our relationship again, but I really need
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Speaker 2: some help figuring out how. And there are some relevant comments.
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Speaker 3: I want you to end the relationship. That's what I want.
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Speaker 3: That's the only thing that matters. So end it. It's over.
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Speaker 3: Stop holding on. Let go, Jack.
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Speaker 4: Uh, Roach Coach.
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Speaker 2: I personally wouldn't give him the time of day. Even
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Speaker 2: if he asked? If he's not the guy you see
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Speaker 2: yourself spending the rest of your life with, you need
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Speaker 2: to start working on moving on sooner rather than later.
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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess you could put a bunch of
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Speaker 2: effort into asking for a list of specific changes, but
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Speaker 2: in my honest opinion, you shouldn't have to do that.
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Speaker 2: OP says, regarding the list, I think I feel that
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Speaker 2: way too. He told me he'd change, but that I'd
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Speaker 2: have to show him how, and that made me live it.
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Speaker 2: He said he didn't have good examples. I grew up
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Speaker 2: in a harmful household with drinking problems and a borderline personality,
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Speaker 2: so how is that a valid excuse? His parents are
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Speaker 2: still happily together, though his mother does basically direct their lives.
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Speaker 2: But I have told and showed him a thousand times
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Speaker 2: that that's not who I am or want to be.
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Speaker 2: I honestly think my boyfriend could become a great man
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Speaker 2: and partner, but I feel like it's not going to
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Speaker 2: happen as long as I'm around, and that blows. A
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Speaker 2: deleted commenter says, I would be angry, too, because all
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Speaker 2: those actions show is that he has known all along
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Speaker 2: exactly what he needed to change. He sounds selfish and lazy,
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Speaker 2: and I would be totally done with him at this point.
7:37
Speaker 2: I doubt he's even got a ring if you haven't
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Speaker 2: seen it.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just another thing that he's using to keep
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Speaker 3: you around. It's the same as him doing the chores and,
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Speaker 3: you know, I don't know, doing the ant bait or whatever.
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Speaker 3: It's just another way he wants to string you along.
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Speaker 2: I mean, I think the ring came out before that happened.
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Speaker 2: And that's what kind of started it. He was like,
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Speaker 2: I got a ring. And she's like, you know, I
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Speaker 2: wouldn't marry you right now, right?
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Speaker 4: Like, we're not good.
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Speaker 2: And he's like, what?
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Speaker 3: Wait, I did not see that coming at all.
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Speaker 2: Opie says, I thought the same thing about the ring
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Speaker 2: because he has referenced an engagement before as what I
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Speaker 2: believe was an emotional manipulation tool. Boom. So I looked
8:18
Speaker 2: and I found it. But it broke my heart that
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Speaker 2: I was snooping for a ring not from excitement and
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Speaker 2: a need to see it and a hopeful suspicion, but
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Speaker 2: for a jaded disbelief. I'm a teacher and I told
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Speaker 2: him that if I ask my students as a class,
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Speaker 2: please make sure they're on task and three of them
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Speaker 2: jump and shove their phones in their bags, then I
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Speaker 2: now know that they know what they were doing was wrong.
8:40
Speaker 2: So if the threat of losing me makes him jump
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Speaker 2: and change all of these things, I now know he
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Speaker 2: knew what he was doing wasn't right. So that's five
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Speaker 2: years of mistreating me just because he thought he could
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Speaker 2: get away with it, and that hurts.
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Speaker 4: And there's an update.
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Speaker 2: But honestly, I mean, yeah, part of that could be true,
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Speaker 2: and he probably had a lingering awareness that, you know,
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Speaker 2: what he was doing.
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Speaker 4: Was not okay.
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Speaker 3: I just don't think he cared, and that's worse.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. In a way, you know. I don't know.
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Speaker 4: Brains are weird.
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Speaker 3: I think you know what to do, OP, though. I
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Speaker 3: think you know that's over.
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Speaker 4: Update. Three months later.
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Speaker 2: Well, against all advice and reason, I committed to giving
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Speaker 2: my relationship another go. We attended counseling. The first session
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Speaker 2: was painful, but productive. We worked on goals. Our counselor
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Speaker 2: said that my resentment could heal if I could agree
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Speaker 2: to stop questioning whether my boyfriend's efforts were sincere and
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Speaker 2: if I just took it day by day. He agreed
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Speaker 2: to limit his gaming to an hour or two a night.
9:38
Speaker 2: As long as he was making genuine effort and we
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Speaker 2: were communicating, our counselor said we could work it all out.
9:44
Speaker 2: Within a week, my boyfriend was back to gaming all day.
9:47
Speaker 2: We were affected by the flooding in Houston, and he
9:49
Speaker 2: was so stressed by all of it, he just couldn't
9:51
Speaker 2: do a dang thing but play CSGO to cope. I
9:55
Speaker 2: booked tickets to the opposite side of the country to
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Speaker 2: see friends. He spent my last That's so sad.
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Speaker 4: Five years?
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Speaker 2: When I got back almost two weeks later, he made
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Speaker 2: a big show of not gaming and doting on me
9:55
Speaker 2: with exaggerated charisma. I'd be watching a TV show, and
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Speaker 2: he'd stare at me until I asked why, and he'd
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Speaker 2: say something like, I'm just mesmerized by your beauty.
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Speaker 1: Shut up.
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Speaker 3: Get out of here.
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Speaker 2: He pouted when I didn't want to have spicy sleep
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Speaker 2: with him and told me he was overwhelmed with spicy
10:32
Speaker 2: frustration since he wasn't gaming anymore, and it's like I'm
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Speaker 2: seeing you and how beautiful you are for the first
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Speaker 2: time in years. I started getting so anxious being badgered
10:44
Speaker 2: about banging someone who doesn't even know my birthday, that
10:47
Speaker 2: I started having to drink to tolerate it. Anyway, I
10:50
Speaker 2: went out of town again, and when I got back
10:52
Speaker 2: this weekend, he made this joke. We have two friends
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Speaker 2: who are twin brothers. The slob lives in the neat
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Speaker 2: freak's house and pays rent. He's paying $ 400 a month
11:00
Speaker 2: just for the room, and the neat freak asked for
11:02
Speaker 2: a mere $ 100 more to cover the purchase and prep
11:05
Speaker 2: of all food plus chores, from laundry to cleaning the
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Speaker 2: entire house. Pretty sweet deal, right? My boyfriend thought this
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Speaker 2: was a hilarious imbalance and said, so slob neat freak.
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Speaker 4: Is basically your girlfriend, right?
11:20
Speaker 2: Because a girlfriend is someone who stupidly does everything for
11:23
Speaker 2: someone and is too whipped to ask for much of
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Speaker 2: anything in return, I guess. Why did we come back
11:29
Speaker 2: both times?
11:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, why are we still here? Go to that therapist
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Speaker 3: and say, hey, you are wrong. No more money. This
11:39
Speaker 3: is not working.
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Speaker 2: I didn't even feel like I snapped. It was more
11:44
Speaker 2: like something softly clunked into place. It wasn't even a fight.
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Speaker 2: I was just done. He has since been texting mutual
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Speaker 2: friends to tell them I booted him out and he
11:52
Speaker 2: had no idea this was coming. They've known us for
11:55
Speaker 2: years and see through it, but it's still pretty annoying.
11:59
Speaker 2: I've since found out he also told at least one
12:01
Speaker 2: male friend about my cosmetic medical surgeries and I overheard
12:06
Speaker 2: him telling gaming friends how dope it was that I
12:09
Speaker 2: can't get pregnant.
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Speaker 4: Good times.
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Speaker 2: He seems to think that five years of BS isn't
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Speaker 2: a good enough reason to break up and is now
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Speaker 2: claiming I'm the love of his life and he'd never
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Speaker 2: have given up on us. He's supposed to come over
12:19
Speaker 2: today to sort some stuff out with the lease, I guess,
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Speaker 2: but I could use some support reminding me that I've made.
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Speaker 4: The right choice. You have.
12:26
Speaker 3: Made the right choice.
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Speaker 2: You've made such a good choice that I feel deep
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Speaker 2: shame that I, for even one second, had a shred
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Speaker 2: of sympathy for this man.
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Speaker 3: Best choice ever. Stay away from him.
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Speaker 4: Edit!
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Speaker 2: I had a friend come sit on my couch while
12:39
Speaker 2: my ex came over. My ex came in with really
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Speaker 2: aggressive body language, saw another male was present, and visibly
12:45
Speaker 2: deflated a notch. He was still pretty angry, but he
12:47
Speaker 2: didn't take it out on me as much as I feared.
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Speaker 4: He told me he never said I could have our house.
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Speaker 4: It's a rental.
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Speaker 2: And that if I wanted to leave, I needed to
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Speaker 2: get out. He originally gave me this speech about how
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Speaker 2: I'm family and this is all his fault, so I
13:01
Speaker 2: should stay. But now he's saying that he never said that,
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Speaker 2: along with a bunch of mean remarks. I know I
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Speaker 2: have as much of a right to be here as him,
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Speaker 2: since we're both on the lease, but honestly, it's not
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Speaker 2: worth the fight.
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Speaker 4: You're leaving. Doesn't matter where, who's going where. Five years.
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Speaker 4: Five years of this, O.P., That's crazy. I'm so sorry.
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Speaker 2: Realizing that the person I've loved for five years would
13:24
Speaker 2: rather see me have to struggle to find somewhere new
13:26
Speaker 2: to live with our four pets, whom he only guilted
13:29
Speaker 2: me about but didn't even try to work on keeping any,
13:32
Speaker 2: was eye-opening in a terrible way. He said a bunch
13:35
Speaker 2: of spiteful things to me and the person I had
13:37
Speaker 2: with me, slammed the door a lot, and left. Then
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Speaker 2: he started texting me again about how he loves me
13:42
Speaker 2: and I'm family and anything I need I can ask
13:44
Speaker 2: him for for the rest of my life. Except a
13:46
Speaker 2: place to live, I guess. I could never forget how
13:49
Speaker 2: he spoke to me when he told me to get out.
13:51
Speaker 2: So that's the closure I needed, though it does still hurt.
13:53
Speaker 2: I'm already looking for a new home. Thanks to everyone
13:56
Speaker 2: who commented and messaged me in this post and the previous.
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Speaker 2: I really appreciate the stories and words of encouragement. I'm
14:02
Speaker 2: going to cuddle my pets, drink more coffee, and listen
14:04
Speaker 2: to my bad girl playlist while I search rental home listings.
14:09
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.
14:10
Speaker 4: Thank goodness.
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Speaker 3: You made the right decision. You gotta have way better
14:15
Speaker 3: life from now on.
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Speaker 4: Gotta have a way better life. And that's the end
14:19
Speaker 4: of this story. Let's head to the next one.
14:21
Speaker 3: My girlfriend's ex stole from her. Now her parents want
14:24
Speaker 3: to have dinner with him?
14:26
Speaker 1: That sounds reasonable.
14:28
Speaker 3: Before I can even begin with my question, there needs
14:30
Speaker 3: to be backstory. I, 25 female, have been dating my girlfriend, Kate,
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Speaker 3: 25 female, for almost five years. We met while she
14:38
Speaker 3: was dating her now ex, Dylan, 25 male. They dated
14:41
Speaker 3: in high school and were together for about five years.
14:44
Speaker 3: Girl only does relationships in five years. That's crazy to
14:48
Speaker 3: be from 15 to 20, five year, and then 20
14:51
Speaker 3: to 25, five year.
14:52
Speaker 4: At least she's got a reputation for being five years.
14:57
Speaker 3: I became friends with them through work and realized Dylan
15:00
Speaker 3: was not a good boyfriend. Kate would come in crying
15:03
Speaker 3: to work. Or tell me how he yelled at her,
15:06
Speaker 3: called her names, and belittled her. She would give him ultimatums.
15:09
Speaker 3: Stop talking to me like that or we're done. Dylan
15:12
Speaker 3: would always apologize and then slowly go back to being
15:15
Speaker 3: mean to Kate. Kate and I developed a close friendship.
15:19
Speaker 3: And during the aftermath of breaking up with my ex-girlfriend
15:22
Speaker 3: at the time, she was always there for me. I
15:24
Speaker 3: eventually found out through other coworkers that Kate had a
15:27
Speaker 3: crush on me.
15:29
Speaker 4: During her relationship with Dylan?
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Speaker 3: Sounds like it. Not great.
15:34
Speaker 4: Maybe you were the golden snitch or whatever. She finally
15:38
Speaker 4: locked eyes and she's like, I'm going to be a seeker.
15:41
Speaker 4: I'm going to seek out OP.
15:42
Speaker 3: All these times I've been a beater. I've been trying
15:45
Speaker 3: to get this guy away from me.
15:47
Speaker 1: It's like the big one called.
15:49
Speaker 3: The big one? There's beater, chaser. Oh, the quaffle.
15:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.
15:52
Speaker 4: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.
15:53
Speaker 1: Dylan's the quaffle. You're the golden snitch.
15:56
Speaker 3: After confronting Kate about her crush, she offered to Dylan
15:59
Speaker 3: to start an open relationship.
16:02
Speaker 4: Okay.
16:02
Speaker 3: Kate, Kate, Kate.
16:05
Speaker 1: I bet he's going to love that.
16:06
Speaker 3: Kate could date other people and so could Dylan. What
16:09
Speaker 3: if we just broke up?
16:10
Speaker 1: Why is that option so hard for people?
16:11
Speaker 3: I don't know. And then you could still date other people.
16:14
Speaker 3: From then on, for two years, I got to call
16:16
Speaker 3: Kate my girlfriend and still remain friends with Dylan. Why
16:20
Speaker 3: are you friends with Dylan?
16:21
Speaker 1: Why are we all tethered to Dylan?
16:23
Speaker 3: Like, you've told me that Dylan is not a good guy.
16:26
Speaker 4: Hey, whatever gets them to, you know, slowly be like, oh,
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Speaker 4: this is what I actually deserve.
16:32
Speaker 3: Dylan tried to get on dating apps, but never really
16:35
Speaker 3: connected with anyone. It wasn't a perfect system, and there
16:37
Speaker 3: was jealousy on both sides, but there were good moments.
16:41
Speaker 3: Were there? Okay. By the way, this comes from Sarcastic Clueless,
16:45
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go
16:47
Speaker 3: to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
16:50
Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
16:51
Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
16:53
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers, and if you've got answers,
16:55
Speaker 3: put them down below. And OP says, eventually Kate did
16:59
Speaker 3: break it off with Dylan because he was still mean
17:01
Speaker 3: and he developed a gambling problem.
17:03
Speaker 1: That's what caused the separation?
17:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like, you're a terrible boyfriend, but also none
17:08
Speaker 3: of that meant anything before, and now you're gambling, and
17:10
Speaker 3: that's what's gonna piss me off.
17:12
Speaker 4: You know what?
17:13
Speaker 1: At least we got there. At least we got to
17:14
Speaker 1: the finish line.
17:15
Speaker 3: And he used a majority of Kate's savings to try
17:18
Speaker 3: to dig himself out of a hole. Why did he
17:21
Speaker 3: have access to her savings?
17:23
Speaker 1: Why were they still together all this time?
17:26
Speaker 3: He promised that he would get the money and pay
17:28
Speaker 3: back all $ 30, 000? How did that girl have $ 30, 000?
17:33
Speaker 4: Why did that girl have $ 30, 000 and stay with Dylan?
17:35
Speaker 3: She was 20. She was like 20-something.
17:38
Speaker 4: Savings. Damn.
17:39
Speaker 3: Actually, she must have been under 20. How did you
17:42
Speaker 3: have $ 30, 000 of savings?
17:43
Speaker 1: What work do you do?
17:45
Speaker 4: Jesus.
17:46
Speaker 3: That was three years ago. Yeah, so she would have
17:48
Speaker 3: been 22.
17:50
Speaker 4: Wow.
17:50
Speaker 3: Kate has gone no contact and blocked Dylan from all
17:53
Speaker 3: social media. Kate's dad texted Dylan occasionally at the beginning
17:57
Speaker 3: of the breakup to see if he could pay off
17:58
Speaker 3: the debts with monthly payments. It's been radio silent and
18:02
Speaker 3: there's been no money.
18:03
Speaker 1: Okay, now we sue him.
18:04
Speaker 3: We haven't heard from Dylan up until yesterday Kate's mom
18:07
Speaker 3: tells us that Dylan is in town and she and
18:09
Speaker 3: Kate's dad are going to meet up with Dylan to
18:11
Speaker 3: see how he's doing Kate felt betrayed what's the point
18:14
Speaker 3: in going to meet face to face her parents said
18:16
Speaker 3: it's strictly business and to make sure Dylan is okay
18:19
Speaker 3: and give.
18:19
Speaker 4: Him closure closure for what I.
18:22
Speaker 3: Don't love that unless they're trying to get Kate's.
18:26
Speaker 4: Money back it seems like it's trying to get Kate's
18:28
Speaker 4: money back but I mean closure to getting the money back.
18:30
Speaker 3: Yeah closure to get to give him closure on our
18:33
Speaker 3: accounts Kate started crying and I'm pissed off. I asked
18:37
Speaker 3: Kate if she wanted me to call Dylan to see
18:39
Speaker 3: if I can get him to cancel. I got sent
18:41
Speaker 3: a voicemail and left a pretty reserved message. I told
18:44
Speaker 3: him it's weird to have to meet up with your
18:45
Speaker 3: ex's girlfriend's parents and I think he should cancel the
18:49
Speaker 3: dinner and keep it strictly text about paying off his debt.
18:52
Speaker 3: Kate hasn't stopped crying and feels like her parents don't
18:54
Speaker 3: take our relationship seriously because I'm a woman. How am
18:57
Speaker 3: I supposed to go on with my life if my
18:59
Speaker 3: parents can't? Her mom told her it's not a big
19:02
Speaker 3: deal and it's more for the benefit of getting the money.
19:05
Speaker 3: I honestly agree.
19:07
Speaker 4: Why is Kate, okay, if that's truly the case, then
19:09
Speaker 4: why is Kate so frustrated about her parents going to
19:13
Speaker 4: get the money?
19:13
Speaker 1: Because obviously her trying to get the money hasn't been working.
19:17
Speaker 3: Is it weird that her parents said, well, we want
19:20
Speaker 3: to give them closure and make sure it's okay? Yes,
19:23
Speaker 3: but it seems like the main reason that they're meeting
19:25
Speaker 3: up with them is to get the money because texting
19:28
Speaker 3: hasn't worked. I feel like they're trying to.
19:31
Speaker 4: Get your money back, Kate. Yeah, I feel like get
19:34
Speaker 4: your money up, not your funny up.
19:36
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's my place or even Kate's
19:37
Speaker 3: place to tell her parents what they should or shouldn't do,
19:40
Speaker 3: but it feels like even if they did hear how
19:42
Speaker 3: it makes us feel, it wouldn't mean anything. So am
19:46
Speaker 3: I the a-hole? And we do an update. I really
19:49
Speaker 3: feel like you guys aren't here and we're trying to
19:51
Speaker 3: get your $ 30, 000 back.
19:54
Speaker 1: $ 30, 000 is a good amount of money.
19:56
Speaker 3: Like they have to be nice to him.
19:58
Speaker 1: That was stolen from you.
20:00
Speaker 3: $ 30, 000 in my life would be, like, that's not money
20:05
Speaker 3: that you can just say, oh, well, I lost $ 30, 000. Like,
20:09
Speaker 3: that's not money that you could do that with. Unless
20:11
Speaker 3: you are.
20:12
Speaker 1: Unless you have that amount of money.
20:14
Speaker 3: Unless you have triple that, maybe. Even then, $ 30, 000 is...
20:18
Speaker 3: You gotta have, like, a million dollars. I don't know.
20:21
Speaker 4: Why is everyone freaking out that they're going to meet
20:24
Speaker 4: up with Dylan? Because I feel like the parents are
20:27
Speaker 4: just like... Why are we stressing?
20:29
Speaker 3: You're not meeting him.
20:30
Speaker 4: Unless if there is like an underlying like, yeah, we're
20:32
Speaker 4: trying to get Dylan back into your life. But we
20:35
Speaker 4: don't know. It just seems like they want to get
20:36
Speaker 4: your money back because $ 30, 000 is, I don't know, $ 30, 000.
20:40
Speaker 3: And probably maybe, again, she was 22 when they broke
20:45
Speaker 3: up for good. That was probably a lot of their
20:48
Speaker 3: money too. Yeah, I don't know. I think you guys
20:51
Speaker 3: are overreacting. I'm going to be so for real here.
20:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, let us.
20:54
Speaker 4: Know if we're in the wrong here. Because I feel
20:56
Speaker 4: like people are like, no, don't do that. What's Dylan
20:59
Speaker 4: going to do to your parents? Yeah.
21:01
Speaker 3: If they just said, oh, we want to meet up
21:04
Speaker 3: with him to see how he's doing. We miss him.
21:07
Speaker 3: That was it.
21:08
Speaker 4: I'd be like, yeah, that's weird. No, I feel like
21:09
Speaker 4: they're like, we're doing that. But really, we're doing that?
21:12
Speaker 4: That's the cover. We're getting the money back.
21:15
Speaker 5: Literally.
21:16
Speaker 3: I really don't think you guys are looking... At the
21:19
Speaker 3: whole picture. Update. I appreciate everyone for your comments. I
21:23
Speaker 3: showed Kate the post and we had a few good
21:25
Speaker 3: laughs at what you guys had to say about us.
21:27
Speaker 3: Two weeks ago, I posted about calling my girlfriend's ex
21:30
Speaker 3: and trying to get him to cancel having dinner with
21:32
Speaker 3: her parents. Here is some more information about the situation
21:35
Speaker 3: that will clear some things up.
21:36
Speaker 4: Did you also call Dylan to be like, okay, you
21:39
Speaker 4: don't have to do dinner with her parents. Just give
21:41
Speaker 4: her back the $ 30, 000 or at least a payment plan.
21:44
Speaker 3: Well, she said just text them about payment.
21:46
Speaker 4: Can he acknowledge it? He's acknowledged it one time and
21:48
Speaker 4: that was like, A long time ago.
21:50
Speaker 3: Don't get it twisted. Kate wants slash needs the money back. Well,
21:54
Speaker 3: could have fooled me. She doesn't want to do whatever
21:57
Speaker 3: it takes.
21:57
Speaker 1: There's water in the ocean.
21:59
Speaker 3: The $ 30, 000 was leftovers from Kate's student loan that she
22:03
Speaker 3: intended to use towards paying off her student debt.
22:06
Speaker 1: Gotcha.
22:07
Speaker 4: Now that makes sense.
22:09
Speaker 3: It is not her parents' money. He withdrew thousands of
22:12
Speaker 3: dollars throughout the summer while Kate was in a different
22:14
Speaker 3: state visiting her family. Oh, so he stole her money?
22:18
Speaker 4: I mean, we knew that.
22:19
Speaker 3: Well, I thought she was giving.
22:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, did we think Dylan was like, hey, could I
22:23
Speaker 4: borrow money?
22:24
Speaker 3: I did think that. I thought she was like giving
22:27
Speaker 3: him 30, I don't know, increments over a certain amount
22:30
Speaker 3: of time. But he just stole that. Like, you can
22:32
Speaker 3: take him to jail. When she confronted him, he promised
22:36
Speaker 3: he would pay it all back and even offered to
22:37
Speaker 3: pay interest. Kate tried to handle it herself, but every
22:40
Speaker 3: time she messaged Dylan about money, he would tell her
22:43
Speaker 3: he had a plan and would deposit money soon.
22:47
Speaker 1: Was the plan to go gambling more?
22:48
Speaker 3: After several months and no payments, Kate moved back in
22:51
Speaker 3: with her parents and asked for help. Kate's dad said
22:53
Speaker 3: not to worry. He would contact him from then on.
22:56
Speaker 3: Kate didn't tell me to call Dylan. I wanted to.
22:59
Speaker 3: I wanted to help, so I offered. She wasn't pressuring me,
23:02
Speaker 3: and she also wasn't screaming at her mom or throwing
23:05
Speaker 3: a tantrum. I believe she was advocating for her feelings,
23:08
Speaker 3: but I am biased. It was a conversation that ended
23:11
Speaker 3: with Kate feeling emotionally frustrated. OP continues, Kate's dad did
23:15
Speaker 3: meet with Dylan and was promised monthly payments would be made.
23:18
Speaker 3: He then said he missed Kate's younger siblings and asked
23:21
Speaker 3: if he could see them. That's where it feels less
23:24
Speaker 3: of a business agreement and more personal. We asked her
23:27
Speaker 3: siblings if they wanted to see Dylan. Some said, who?
23:31
Speaker 3: And others said, why would he want to see us?
23:34
Speaker 3: They've heard what's been going on and those were their
23:36
Speaker 3: first reactions. The problem is, this could have been a
23:39
Speaker 3: phone call rather than two-hour dinner. I get communication with
23:43
Speaker 3: Dylan won't stop anytime soon, but maintaining a relationship that's
23:46
Speaker 3: beyond paying off a debt is what I don't understand.
23:50
Speaker 3: Even if he was a part of this family for
23:52
Speaker 3: five years, Kate's mom's words, as of right now, no
23:55
Speaker 3: payments have been made since the dinner, but maybe by
23:58
Speaker 3: the end of this month. Again, thank you for taking
24:00
Speaker 3: the time to read all this. All in all, let's
24:02
Speaker 3: just hope it all gets paid back this time. I mean...
24:06
Speaker 3: It is really weird that her parents want to have
24:08
Speaker 3: a relationship with Dylan.
24:10
Speaker 4: I think it's to... Like, what they did was... It
24:14
Speaker 4: wasn't like, we need a relationship with Dylan. But they're like,
24:15
Speaker 4: this is going to be the tactic of getting the money.
24:19
Speaker 4: I feel like that's what it is. Because they... Probably
24:22
Speaker 4: should know that Dylan treated their daughter pretty badly.
24:26
Speaker 5: He stole $ 30, 000. He stole $ 30, 000. Let's do the good
24:31
Speaker 5: cop route first. It's like, get him dinner. Let's see
24:35
Speaker 5: how he's doing. Where's the $ 30, 000? No, you cannot see
24:39
Speaker 5: our kids.
24:40
Speaker 1: How's that sound?
24:41
Speaker 4: Maybe write this out on a piece of paper where
24:43
Speaker 4: it's actually, you know, written out.
24:46
Speaker 3: And I think, yeah, contract. I think Kate could sit
24:49
Speaker 3: her parents down and say, hey... I appreciate that you're
24:52
Speaker 3: helping me get this money back. I do not feel
24:54
Speaker 3: comfortable ever seeing Dylan again. It also makes me uncomfortable
24:58
Speaker 3: that you want to have a relationship with him because
25:00
Speaker 3: of how he treated me. I cannot tell you what
25:04
Speaker 3: to do, but just know if you ever try to
25:07
Speaker 3: put me and Dylan back in a situation, I will
25:10
Speaker 3: distance myself from you two.
25:12
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
25:14
Speaker 4: the next one. My boyfriend secretly wore my clothes for months.
25:18
Speaker 4: Then he promised to stop.
25:19
Speaker 3: Does he wear them better than you?
25:21
Speaker 4: A bit of a backstory. I'm in my early 20s.
25:23
Speaker 4: I dated a guy who moved close to where I
25:25
Speaker 4: used to live for college. He didn't live in the
25:27
Speaker 4: same town. He used to come to meet me for
25:29
Speaker 4: the weekends and summer break. We dated less than a year,
25:32
Speaker 4: but it was still too long. I broke up with
25:35
Speaker 4: him because it was getting too toxic. We're going to
25:38
Speaker 4: call him Frank.
25:40
Speaker 3: Ah, that's my dad's name.
25:42
Speaker 4: Which obviously is a fake name for this story. Like
25:44
Speaker 4: I said, we lived in different towns and I used
25:47
Speaker 4: to work on the weekends. So sometimes he was by
25:49
Speaker 4: himself at home. I was living with my mom still.
25:52
Speaker 4: All was well, everyone got along great, and we thought
25:55
Speaker 4: nothing was wrong. To put in some context, I am
25:58
Speaker 4: not very petite, so I wear a lot of men's shirts, hoodies,
26:01
Speaker 4: and flannels because the women's clothes are too tight for
26:04
Speaker 4: my body shape. So, for a long time, I was
26:07
Speaker 4: more of a tomboy, but I started to dress up
26:09
Speaker 4: more feminine when I got older because I got used
26:11
Speaker 4: to my shape and, little by little, got to love
26:14
Speaker 4: looking more girly than I used to. I wore dresses, skirts, tights,
26:17
Speaker 4: and chunky heels, but still with some of my older clothes.
26:20
Speaker 4: I didn't mind sharing hoodies or shirts with Frank because,
26:23
Speaker 4: like I said, they were technically from the men's section.
26:26
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user RODLAT. And if
26:30
Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
26:32
Speaker 4: r slash OKStoryTime subreddit, where this story is from.
26:35
Speaker 1: It's one of our own, and we're reading it. Great.
26:38
Speaker 1: And we're going to give goofy advice.
26:40
Speaker 3: It's true. The goofiest.
26:41
Speaker 4: We'll probably just give what we know, because we don't
26:44
Speaker 4: know everything. So let us know what you know in
26:46
Speaker 4: the comments down below.
26:47
Speaker 1: As Opie says. So, a couple of weeks into dating.
26:50
Speaker 4: Frank went back home for the holidays, and when he
26:52
Speaker 4: came back, he invited me over for the weekend since
26:55
Speaker 4: his roommates weren't there yet. He told me to bring
26:57
Speaker 4: something cute to wear for a date out. I was like, yes,
27:01
Speaker 4: I have the perfect outfit. A little black and white
27:03
Speaker 4: houndstooth pattern dress with the long sleeves and white collar,
27:07
Speaker 4: black semi-opaque tights, and cherry red docks.
27:10
Speaker 3: Ooh, I can picture it now.
27:12
Speaker 4: Well, turned out there was a storm, so we had
27:15
Speaker 4: to stay indoors for the night. During the night, I
27:17
Speaker 4: woke up and I was feeling the arm of my
27:19
Speaker 4: ex and thought, Huh, wasn't he shirtless earlier?
27:22
Speaker 1: Because, you know? And here I was, lying beside Frank, and.
27:27
Speaker 4: The texture of the article of clothing felt familiar. I
27:30
Speaker 4: opened my flashlight on my phone, set it in low
27:33
Speaker 4: light so as not to disturb my ex as he
27:35
Speaker 4: was sleeping, and yep, he was wearing my dress. Asleep.
27:40
Speaker 4: Color me confused. Maybe he sleptwalk?
27:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I would understand if he just wanted to
27:47
Speaker 3: try it on and maybe he's experimenting with, like, you know,
27:51
Speaker 3: different clothing and stuff and, like, gender expression. But to
27:54
Speaker 3: put it on and then to go back to sleep
27:57
Speaker 3: is confusing.
27:59
Speaker 4: I didn't waste a second.
28:01
Speaker 1: I woke him up. I told him to wake up,
28:04
Speaker 1: and he just mumbled sleepily. I said it again. Wake up, Frank.
28:07
Speaker 1: And I tapped his shoulder lightly. He said, huh?
28:10
Speaker 4: What's up?
28:11
Speaker 1: What time is it?
28:12
Speaker 4: I told him it was 2 a.m. and that I
28:15
Speaker 4: woke up and I was wondering why he was wearing
28:17
Speaker 4: my dress while sleeping. He just said, huh? With the
28:21
Speaker 4: deer in the headlights face on. I shook Pikachu face up.
28:25
Speaker 4: You know, you know, the memes, all of it. I
28:27
Speaker 4: told him to take it off right now. He said,
28:31
Speaker 4: it's okay.
28:32
Speaker 1: It's nothing bad.
28:33
Speaker 4: I assure you. And I cut him off saying, yeah, no,
28:36
Speaker 4: take it off and start explaining right now, please.
28:39
Speaker 1: I was in shock.
28:41
Speaker 3: I'm going to be honest. This does not warrant that reaction.
28:45
Speaker 4: Yeah.
28:45
Speaker 3: If I found my boyfriend in my dress, I would
28:49
Speaker 3: be confused in the middle of the night. If in
28:51
Speaker 3: the middle of the night I found my boyfriend, I
28:53
Speaker 3: wake up, he's wearing my dress. I'd be like, what?
28:56
Speaker 1: How did that happen?
28:57
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:57
Speaker 4: Yeah.
28:57
Speaker 3: Like why did he wake up, put on a dress
28:59
Speaker 3: and then go back to bed? That would be my
29:01
Speaker 3: main confusion. I would not wake him up and be like,
29:05
Speaker 3: I think that is a little bit intensive.
29:07
Speaker 1: I was in shock.
29:08
Speaker 4: I don't know. I did sound pretty rude at that point,
29:10
Speaker 4: but yeah. So He gets up, starts zipping off the dress,
29:14
Speaker 4: and then as Frank starts taking it off, I realized
29:16
Speaker 4: he was wearing the tights too.
29:18
Speaker 3: Okay, I think he just wanted to try on your outfit.
29:21
Speaker 3: I don't know why he went to sleep in it,
29:23
Speaker 3: but I think he just wanted to try the outfit on.
29:26
Speaker 4: I will admit, I went a bit ballistic at that
29:28
Speaker 4: because he knew how I struggled with finding clothes that
29:30
Speaker 4: would fit me. I don't really remember how it went,
29:33
Speaker 4: but finally, he did answer my questions. I asked him
29:36
Speaker 4: why he was wearing my dress and tights to bed
29:39
Speaker 4: with me.
29:40
Speaker 1: Frank said, I don't know.
29:41
Speaker 4: It's something I wanted to feel close to you. I
29:45
Speaker 4: missed you and I wanted you here so much and
29:47
Speaker 4: be closer to you like that.
29:49
Speaker 3: I don't think that's the real reason. I think he
29:52
Speaker 3: wanted to try the dress on.
29:53
Speaker 4: I think he wanted to try the dress.
29:54
Speaker 3: And he's embarrassed to admit it.
29:56
Speaker 4: I replied to Frank saying, I missed him too. That's
29:59
Speaker 4: why I was there that weekend, but I didn't understand
30:01
Speaker 4: how my clothes fit into this scenario. He said, I
30:05
Speaker 4: wanted to feel you closer as I was asleep. I
30:08
Speaker 4: told him that he realized I was unclothed there in
30:11
Speaker 4: his bed, right? Like I cannot possibly be closer right now.
30:15
Speaker 4: We slept in a slightly bigger twin bed, college type
30:18
Speaker 4: of room. After some back and forth and finally taking
30:20
Speaker 4: my clothes off, I put them back in my bag
30:22
Speaker 4: as I was leaving in the morning. He promised me
30:24
Speaker 4: he wouldn't do it again with my more feminine clothes,
30:27
Speaker 4: but of course he didn't.
30:29
Speaker 3: I don't know. This is when I'm having the conversation of, hey,
30:36
Speaker 3: is it really that you wanted to feel closer to me?
30:39
Speaker 3: Because maybe that's some sort of codependency thing that we
30:41
Speaker 3: have to talk about. Or is it like you're, you know, experimenting?
30:46
Speaker 3: In which case, that's okay.
30:48
Speaker 4: And.
30:49
Speaker 3: Just, you know, ask me and that's fine.
30:51
Speaker 1: Let's be honest here.
30:51
Speaker 4: Like, yeah.
30:52
Speaker 1: Zero judgment zone.
30:53
Speaker 3: Which one is it? And I wonder if maybe he
30:57
Speaker 3: came up with that excuse because he saw her reaction.
31:00
Speaker 3: It was like, oh, she's going to judge me.
31:02
Speaker 4: Like I said earlier, by the end of the relationship,
31:05
Speaker 4: it was pretty toxic. And this particular moment was kind
31:08
Speaker 4: of like the starting point of no return. I don't
31:11
Speaker 4: know to this day if it was a cross-dressing thing
31:13
Speaker 4: or if he was just going through something. Life-altering moments,
31:16
Speaker 4: even after talking about it for so long, I just...
31:19
Speaker 4: Let it go. It wasn't the reason I broke up
31:21
Speaker 4: with him, though. But after our separation, it came back
31:25
Speaker 4: up again. By then, we had been broken up for
31:27
Speaker 4: about one to two months. My mom and I decided
31:30
Speaker 4: to do a yard sale, and in the sale, I
31:31
Speaker 4: put the houndstooth dress into the giving pile. My mom
31:35
Speaker 4: went and asked me why I was getting rid of
31:36
Speaker 4: it and if she could take it for herself instead.
31:39
Speaker 4: I explained to her why and what happened, and she
31:42
Speaker 4: wordlessly put it back into the giving pile.
31:44
Speaker 3: Wait, is that a reason to get rid of a dress?
31:47
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
31:49
Speaker 3: Is that really a reason?
31:50
Speaker 4: So, I hope you continue saying, I went to work
31:52
Speaker 4: in the afternoon while my mom set up our yard sale.
31:55
Speaker 4: When she came to take the dress out and put
31:56
Speaker 4: it on the showing rack, she noticed something. Dark sweat
32:00
Speaker 4: armpit stains on the black and white houndstooth dress.
32:04
Speaker 1: Yup.
32:05
Speaker 4: He did in the end tell me what he did.
32:07
Speaker 4: You can't make this up. He wore my dress nearly
32:10
Speaker 4: every time he came to my place. Wore it with
32:12
Speaker 4: some heels that he bought for me that I couldn't
32:15
Speaker 4: wear because they weren't comfortable while playing video games for hours.
32:20
Speaker 4: And then he put it back in my closet without
32:22
Speaker 4: washing it repeatedly, weekly.
32:25
Speaker 3: I'm personally not seeing this as as much of an issue.
32:29
Speaker 4: I see this as a very big issue because you
32:32
Speaker 4: already had your boundary removed.
32:33
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. That's true.
32:34
Speaker 4: That's true.
32:35
Speaker 3: You did ask him not to wear it. I guess
32:37
Speaker 3: because you asked him not to wear it, yes. But
32:40
Speaker 3: I'm wondering, OP did specifically say, oh, he didn't wash it.
32:43
Speaker 3: Were you still wearing it at that point?
32:45
Speaker 4: I don't know.
32:46
Speaker 1: The fact that he's wearing your clothes while gaming?
32:49
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. It doesn't feel like he was
32:53
Speaker 3: doing it to be closer to her.
32:54
Speaker 4: It feels like he's doing it for him. Yeah.
32:57
Speaker 3: In which case, I feel like in the future, if
32:59
Speaker 3: you ever had that, you know, thing come up in
33:02
Speaker 3: another relationship, I would suggest having a more open conversation
33:06
Speaker 3: with your partner. Cause it seems like he didn't feel comfortable.
33:10
Speaker 3: Obviously there were other issues. So like he's gone.
33:13
Speaker 4: I mean, if you were seeing this repeatedly weekly, I
33:15
Speaker 4: would have been like, hey, dude, I'm going to buy
33:17
Speaker 4: you another dress.
33:18
Speaker 3: I would give him the dress.
33:19
Speaker 1: Or you can have that one.
33:20
Speaker 3: I don't think OP even wore it ever again because
33:22
Speaker 3: she didn't notice that there were. She said that he
33:24
Speaker 3: never washed it because if she was wearing it, she
33:26
Speaker 3: would have noticed and been like, oh, I need to
33:28
Speaker 3: wash this dress. So she clearly never wore it again.
33:31
Speaker 3: And he was the only one wearing it. Like, give
33:35
Speaker 3: him the dress, for real.
33:36
Speaker 4: I think it's just really funny that he's wearing it
33:37
Speaker 4: during video games. And he's like, it just makes me
33:39
Speaker 4: feel more aerodynamic, you know?
33:41
Speaker 3: I'm not going to say anything about your relationship. Because, again,
33:45
Speaker 3: seems like you had other issues and had reasons for
33:47
Speaker 3: breaking up. But I think just to consider him, I
33:49
Speaker 3: really feel like he just, you know, felt more like himself. And,
33:52
Speaker 3: you know, I hope he gets that dress someday.
33:55
Speaker 1: Get the dress and say yes.
33:56
Speaker 4: Okay. Obi also says, after that, I did a full
33:59
Speaker 4: scan of my closet and found some missing clothes. And
34:02
Speaker 4: it was mostly very feminine pieces.
34:04
Speaker 1: Of clothes.
34:06
Speaker 4: Opie says, I stopped wearing that dress when I first
34:08
Speaker 4: caught him in it because it kind of ruined it
34:10
Speaker 4: for me. I couldn't look at it the same way
34:12
Speaker 4: as before I purchased it. I only got to wear
34:14
Speaker 4: it one or two times and it sucked to think
34:17
Speaker 4: of it, so I couldn't. and I wouldn't wear it anymore.
34:20
Speaker 4: So yeah, there was one of the things that did
34:23
Speaker 4: happen during that relationship. And I'm glad to tell you
34:26
Speaker 4: all today that I am in a much better place
34:29
Speaker 4: with the love of my life, and I just think
34:31
Speaker 4: of myself as lucky that I found my gem of
34:33
Speaker 4: a boyfriend who lets me be me, is proud of me,
34:36
Speaker 4: and loves leaving my clothes to me. We share hoodies
34:39
Speaker 4: and t-shirts, and that's it.
34:42
Speaker 3: I think it is very reasonable to have boundaries, and
34:45
Speaker 3: I think... that it is not okay that he crossed
34:48
Speaker 3: those boundaries. I personally don't see the issue with him
34:54
Speaker 3: wanting to wear the clothes. But just like in and
34:57
Speaker 3: of itself, not saying... Because once you set the boundary,
34:59
Speaker 3: that's your boundary. But in general, outside of the boundary,
35:03
Speaker 3: just looking at that as.
35:05
Speaker 4: If he just gave me a good reason, or if
35:07
Speaker 4: he gave OP a good reason, his reason was to
35:09
Speaker 4: feel closer to you, and then he doesn't... Yeah, I.
35:11
Speaker 3: Don't think that's true. I don't think that... I think
35:14
Speaker 3: that he got scared because OP got really upset, and
35:17
Speaker 3: he was like, well, I can't tell her the truth now,
35:18
Speaker 3: so what makes me seem a little bit more, you know,
35:23
Speaker 3: a little bit better in her eyes?
35:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
35:26
Speaker 3: I hope that person is living their true life now.
35:30
Speaker 4: They just have, like, a full closet of all, like,
35:33
Speaker 4: the same dress.
35:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, he just really loved that dress. I, yeah, I
35:38
Speaker 3: think it was more of a gender expression than what
35:40
Speaker 3: he said.
35:41
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
35:44
Speaker 4: the next one.
35:45
Speaker 1: Hey, Keon here.
35:46
Speaker 4: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
35:47
Speaker 4: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
35:50
Speaker 3: My brother's girlfriend of 10 years has never met him.
35:54
Speaker 4: That's not your girlfriend.
35:55
Speaker 3: And trigger warning. This doesn't have a conclusion.
35:58
Speaker 1: Now I'm pissed.
36:00
Speaker 3: My brother-in-law is in his late 30s and has been
36:03
Speaker 3: supposedly dating the same girl for 10 years. Let's call
36:07
Speaker 3: her Brady. His name is Jim. They met when he
36:10
Speaker 3: was a student teacher, so he was an adult and
36:13
Speaker 3: she was still in high school. She is my age,
36:16
Speaker 3: maybe younger, probably 28. Jim's brother Dolan and Brady graduated
36:20
Speaker 3: together and they did not get along, primarily because she
36:24
Speaker 3: ratted Dolan out for something that he claims he did
36:27
Speaker 3: not do.
36:27
Speaker 1: Sounds pretty dull.
36:28
Speaker 3: He's a liar sometimes, so I don't know how reliable
36:31
Speaker 3: that is. Fast forward to now. I have never met Brady.
36:35
Speaker 3: I've been with my husband Bork. This is Jim's brother
36:39
Speaker 3: since 2018.
36:40
Speaker 2: Jim and Bork.
36:41
Speaker 3: Jim and Bork. I've been with my husband, Bork, Jim's brother,
36:45
Speaker 3: since 2018. Jim has never brought Brady to family reunions, holidays,
36:50
Speaker 3: or wedding, etc. There's always been an excuse. Also note
36:54
Speaker 3: that Jim does not have social media. Jim talks about
36:57
Speaker 3: Brady's niece and nephew all the time, knows all the
37:00
Speaker 3: details about them, has shown us pictures, etc. Sometimes Jim
37:04
Speaker 3: can't come to family events because he says he's with Brady.
37:07
Speaker 3: My mother-in-law has even said she's heard him talk to
37:10
Speaker 3: her on the phone, shown her pictures, heard him call
37:12
Speaker 3: her sweetie, and says that she's on his phone plan.
37:15
Speaker 3: He's also been able to relate some issues with her
37:18
Speaker 3: that I've had issues with my gut health and anxiety
37:20
Speaker 3: and whatnot. He's talked about where she works, what she does.
37:24
Speaker 3: He's talked about moving closer to her. She lives an
37:27
Speaker 3: hour and a half from us. By the way, this
37:29
Speaker 3: comes from RudeTip8098. And if you want to submit your
37:32
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
37:34
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
37:35
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota.
37:36
Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
37:37
Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
37:39
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. So let us know your
37:41
Speaker 3: answers down below. And OP continues. Additionally, a few years ago,
37:45
Speaker 3: we saw Brady's sister and their kids, that he talks
37:48
Speaker 3: about to us all the time, had a pumpkin patch
37:51
Speaker 3: and Jim bolted the other way.
37:54
Speaker 4: Oh no. I have a theory. What?
37:57
Speaker 3: What is your theory? I don't have any theory.
37:59
Speaker 2: It's a one-way relationship. Brady does exist, but Brady doesn't
38:05
Speaker 2: think they're dating because they're not.
38:07
Speaker 4: And they're just friends.
38:08
Speaker 2: And this is all a little fantasy in his brain.
38:11
Speaker 3: So Brady probably met him as like a teacher or whatever.
38:14
Speaker 3: And she's like, yes, this is my teacher.
38:16
Speaker 2: And he's like, yeah, this is my wife.
38:19
Speaker 3: Additionally, a few years ago, we saw Brady's sister and
38:21
Speaker 3: their kids that he talks about to us all the time.
38:24
Speaker 3: Had a pumpkin patch and Jim bolted the other way.
38:26
Speaker 1: Jim just wanted to show you how fast he was.
38:28
Speaker 3: Which was weird since that's her sister and he talks
38:31
Speaker 3: so highly of her and her kids. This is where
38:34
Speaker 3: it gets weird. In October of last year, my husband
38:37
Speaker 3: found a picture on Facebook of a firefighter and Brady
38:40
Speaker 3: kissing at a Halloween party. And since Jim doesn't have
38:44
Speaker 3: social media, my husband sent it to Jim. Jim thanked
38:47
Speaker 3: him and was sad for about five months. Jim then
38:50
Speaker 3: proceeded to begin talking about Brady again this last month.
38:54
Speaker 3: At work, he's been telling people, we work in the
38:56
Speaker 3: same building, that they've been together for 10 years. Also,
39:00
Speaker 3: me and my husband found out last year that Brady
39:02
Speaker 3: is their third cousin on our dad's side, LOL. Huh?
39:07
Speaker 4: Third cousin loving? That's, you can get away with that.
39:10
Speaker 3: So, a few weeks ago, I decided to follow Brady
39:13
Speaker 3: on Instagram and invite her to my son's birthday. As
39:16
Speaker 3: well as introduce myself, since, well, I've never met her.
39:19
Speaker 4: Uh-oh.
39:20
Speaker 3: I noticed immediately that there are no pictures of her
39:22
Speaker 3: and Jim and she isn't shy of posting. She replied
39:25
Speaker 3: and said that she has not talked to Jim in
39:28
Speaker 3: 10 years. Jim immediately messages me and tells me not
39:31
Speaker 3: to talk to Brady and thanked me for thinking of
39:33
Speaker 3: her though and that they were working through some things.
39:36
Speaker 4: Yeah.
39:37
Speaker 3: 10 years of things.
39:38
Speaker 2: 10 years worth of one-sided things.
39:41
Speaker 3: I messaged Brady back and said, I'm so sorry. I
39:44
Speaker 3: thought y'all were together. He talks about you all the time.
39:48
Speaker 3: Jim immediately texts me again and tells me to block her.
39:52
Speaker 3: Is she messaging him and being like, hey, why are
39:54
Speaker 3: you telling people that we're together? How does he know?
39:57
Speaker 2: How does he know if he has no social media?
40:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't have any social media. Presumably, she just said,
40:03
Speaker 3: I haven't talked to him in 10 years. So how
40:05
Speaker 3: does he know that Opie is doing this? She messages
40:07
Speaker 3: me back and said, that's okay. What does he say
40:11
Speaker 3: about me? And I told her general things about her
40:14
Speaker 3: niece and nephew since they're the same age as our kids,
40:17
Speaker 3: her health and how it's related to mine and how
40:19
Speaker 3: we have similar nicknames from Jim and my husband. She
40:21
Speaker 3: left me on read. Uh-oh. Jim came by my office
40:25
Speaker 3: at work the next day and said that he was
40:27
Speaker 3: sorry for that interaction I had with her. Not sure
40:29
Speaker 3: if he knows she told me they hadn't talked in
40:31
Speaker 3: 10 years and that she was so overwhelmed by the
40:34
Speaker 3: kind gesture of me reaching out that she didn't know
40:36
Speaker 3: how to react. He said her mom called and said
40:39
Speaker 3: she was so upset and that she might have to
40:41
Speaker 3: go console.
40:42
Speaker 4: Brady.
40:43
Speaker 3: Jim seemed nervous during the whole conversation with me in person.
40:46
Speaker 3: He wouldn't make eye contact. And he kept seeming like
40:50
Speaker 3: he was searching for words during that whole interaction. He
40:53
Speaker 3: then told my husband something completely different. Jim told him
40:57
Speaker 3: that she was overwhelmed by me messaging her. Doesn't explain
41:01
Speaker 3: why she told me it's been 10 years since Jim
41:03
Speaker 3: and her have talked. Just left the conversation at that.
41:06
Speaker 3: Since then, Jim has been distant from the family. But
41:10
Speaker 3: he did mention her randomly the other day. very specific
41:13
Speaker 3: detail about her dog. I did message her cousin, which
41:16
Speaker 3: I'm friends with her friend, and she was flabbergasted by
41:19
Speaker 3: all of this, saying that Brady has brought several guys
41:22
Speaker 3: home and to family functions over the last 10 years,
41:26
Speaker 3: and that she even had one recently and hasn't mentioned
41:29
Speaker 3: Jim since they were supposedly secretly dating when she was underage.
41:33
Speaker 3: And he was an adult student teaching at her school.
41:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, that also just adds the ultimate creep factor. Not
41:41
Speaker 2: only have they not talked in 10 years, he was
41:46
Speaker 2: the teacher, like assistant teacher or something, whatever.
41:51
Speaker 3: It seems like he was some sort of adult teacher
41:54
Speaker 3: at her school, developed an obsession with her that she
41:57
Speaker 3: was not aware of, and has manufactured this whole life.
42:02
Speaker 3: And she is just now finding out that this is
42:04
Speaker 3: a thing.
42:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, if this is me, I'm like, let's go camping, Jim.
42:10
Speaker 2: We're going camping, just us together. I leave that man
42:13
Speaker 2: in the woods.
42:14
Speaker 3: What is going on here? My husband doesn't want to
42:16
Speaker 3: touch the issue with the 10-foot stick because the thought
42:19
Speaker 3: of his brother being insane is maddening to him. This
42:23
Speaker 3: entire family has some loose screws. My husband is the
42:26
Speaker 3: only one that seems normal.
42:29
Speaker 4: Everything is questioned now.
42:31
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts? Are there any other subreddits I
42:34
Speaker 3: can post to? Any theories? Any thoughts from outsiders? I
42:37
Speaker 3: feel like this is a Dateline episode. And no, I'm
42:40
Speaker 3: not nosy. I'm just too far deep into this to
42:43
Speaker 3: back off, because if my brother-in-law is a sociopath, I'd
42:46
Speaker 3: love to know.
42:47
Speaker 1: There's a glitch in the simulation.
42:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, this whole time he has been married to Brady,
42:53
Speaker 3: but she just forgot. This is 50 First Dates.
42:57
Speaker 4: That would be the sweetest way it could be, huh?
42:59
Speaker 3: Comment 1. Maybe her mom has another account and pretends
43:03
Speaker 3: to be her? But if he says he's seen her
43:05
Speaker 3: in person, then maybe he's a creepy stalker or has
43:08
Speaker 3: had some sort of delusional breakdown. Something's not right here.
43:11
Speaker 3: Maybe he's attracted to the same gender or has some
43:14
Speaker 3: other secret and doesn't want you to know, so he
43:16
Speaker 3: made up a girlfriend. OP says, I do think since
43:19
Speaker 3: he claims she's on his phone plan, that the mom
43:22
Speaker 3: has been pretending to be Brady this whole time. And
43:25
Speaker 3: since he may be desperate and so obsessed with her,
43:28
Speaker 3: he may be okay not ever seeing her. And she
43:30
Speaker 3: just strings him along.
43:32
Speaker 4: I don't know.
43:33
Speaker 2: That would be Norman Bates' psycho levels.
43:37
Speaker 3: If her mom was pretending to be her?
43:42
Speaker 4: Again, this simulation is pretty crazy.
43:45
Speaker 3: But if her mom was pretending to be her, then
43:47
Speaker 3: there would have to be a world where Jim... Was, yeah,
43:51
Speaker 3: okay with not seeing her for 10 years and then
43:53
Speaker 3: was also contributing to the lie.
43:56
Speaker 4: There's no universe. Jim knows.
43:58
Speaker 2: I refuse to live in a world where Jim doesn't
44:02
Speaker 2: know what he's up to right now.
44:04
Speaker 3: We've got an update. Well, y'all were right. It somehow
44:08
Speaker 3: got even weirder. I reached back out to Brady one
44:10
Speaker 3: last time because I honestly felt bad for dragging her
44:13
Speaker 3: into this. Just wanted to make sure she was okay
44:15
Speaker 3: and that this wasn't some blink twice if you need
44:17
Speaker 3: help situation. She basically said, no, I wasn't overwhelmed. I
44:22
Speaker 3: was just really confused why he's still talking about me.
44:25
Speaker 3: She told me she's had zero contact with Jim in
44:27
Speaker 3: about 10 years and has absolutely no intention of ever
44:30
Speaker 3: speaking to him again. She said she was genuinely creeped
44:33
Speaker 3: out that he knows so much about her life. She
44:36
Speaker 3: also told me that she wasn't upset with me at all.
44:38
Speaker 3: She was uncomfortable because of him. Then I asked her
44:42
Speaker 3: how Jim could possibly know all these insanely specific details
44:46
Speaker 3: about her life. I'm talking about her nieces and nephews,
44:49
Speaker 3: her dog, her old job, her health issues, and the
44:52
Speaker 3: fact that he has told all of us they're still dating.
44:55
Speaker 3: That she's on his phone plan, that he's literally pretended
44:58
Speaker 3: to talk to her on the phone in front of
45:00
Speaker 3: his own family. To that she said, uh, what the F?
45:04
Speaker 3: None of that is true. I don't even have his
45:06
Speaker 3: phone number. Apparently the only explanation she could come up
45:09
Speaker 3: with was maybe her mom had been talking to Jim
45:12
Speaker 3: over the years? So she called her mom right after
45:14
Speaker 3: I messaged her that, which I guess explains why he
45:17
Speaker 3: knew so fast. And her mom admitted they've stayed in
45:22
Speaker 3: touch and just talk about life. So we have confirmation
45:28
Speaker 3: mom is catfishing as Brady.
45:31
Speaker 4: I guess that's not as bad.
45:33
Speaker 3: It's worse.
45:34
Speaker 1: It's all bad. There's no, there's no, there's no, there's
45:36
Speaker 1: good in this.
45:37
Speaker 2: No, I think it's worse if your own mother is
45:39
Speaker 2: pretending to be your girlfriend for 10 years.
45:42
Speaker 4: That's a little worse.
45:43
Speaker 3: I guess it's just perspectives.
45:45
Speaker 4: But this is worse.
45:47
Speaker 3: For her.
45:47
Speaker 2: This is, this is worse in terms of like, how
45:50
Speaker 2: is that happening?
45:51
Speaker 4: Why?
45:51
Speaker 2: At least with crazy mom, you can go, okay, crazy mom.
45:55
Speaker 2: But why is this other girl's mom doing this?
45:59
Speaker 3: Which, what? Brady said she was completely blindsided by that
46:02
Speaker 3: and got into a huge argument with her mom because
46:05
Speaker 3: she feels like her privacy has been totally violated. I
46:08
Speaker 3: mentioned that Jim had recently brought up her dog and
46:11
Speaker 3: some random story about one of her friends, literally the
46:14
Speaker 3: other day, accidentally feeding him grapes. Brady said, yeah, that
46:18
Speaker 3: actually happened, but I only told my family and close
46:21
Speaker 3: friends about that. She asked me to please let her
46:23
Speaker 3: know if Jim keeps talking about her because she wants
46:26
Speaker 3: to know if this continues. Aye, aye, aye. That was insane.
46:33
Speaker 2: Perfect ending, Brady's mom and Jim.
46:36
Speaker 1: He wakes up, was a dream.
46:39
Speaker 3: I think perfect ending, Brady's mom and Jim go to jail.
46:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, Brady's mom has got it going on.
46:45
Speaker 3: At this point, I honestly don't know what to think.
46:48
Speaker 3: I will share that after the first interaction with her,
46:50
Speaker 3: when we were all talking about it as a family, me, husband, mother-in-law,
46:54
Speaker 3: and Dolan, Apparently her mom, according to my mother-in-law, is
46:58
Speaker 3: kind of crazy. I didn't believe it at first because
47:01
Speaker 3: it didn't make sense. But apparently she's obsessed with her
47:04
Speaker 3: daughters and posts all of their pictures that she posts,
47:07
Speaker 3: which I guess explains where Jim has been getting the
47:09
Speaker 3: pictures from the mom. And we all joke that maybe
47:12
Speaker 3: Jim is being catfished by the mom, but I think
47:15
Speaker 3: maybe the mom is so obsessed with her daughter she
47:17
Speaker 3: shares everything with everyone and maybe Jim has taken this
47:20
Speaker 3: information and created a fake relationship with her? and casually
47:24
Speaker 3: asks for pictures and updates on the family.
47:26
Speaker 4: I don't know.
47:27
Speaker 3: I'm confused and tired. Commenter says, so wait, is Jim
47:31
Speaker 3: secretly with Brady's mom? OP says, that's my theory. Another
47:34
Speaker 3: commenter says, oh man, is Brady's mom married? OP says, yes,
47:38
Speaker 3: but not sure if it's happily married or just married.
47:42
Speaker 2: Well, it's certainly not going to be happy if this
47:44
Speaker 2: all comes to light.
47:46
Speaker 3: My conclusion that I'm taking away from this story is
47:49
Speaker 3: that a man, we have two possibilities. A man 10
47:53
Speaker 3: years ago was obsessed with a teenager and reached out
47:57
Speaker 3: to her mom to get more information. And for 10 years,
48:00
Speaker 3: that mom has been giving information and he's been living
48:03
Speaker 3: in a delusion about being in a relationship with her daughter.
48:05
Speaker 3: Or second conclusion, this mom 10 years ago was obsessed
48:10
Speaker 3: with this guy and and wanted to pretend to be
48:13
Speaker 3: her underage daughter.
48:14
Speaker 2: I think at some level it's both. Because at some
48:17
Speaker 2: point he knows what's going on. That's why he ran
48:21
Speaker 2: away at the pumpkin patch or whatever. He ran off.
48:24
Speaker 2: He was like, I can't see them.
48:26
Speaker 3: He does have to know a little bit.
48:28
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
48:31
Speaker 4: the next one.
48:32
Speaker 2: My father-in-law stole multiple times, then claimed it was an accident.
48:36
Speaker 3: I didn't mean to steal that.
48:38
Speaker 4: I just was seeing if you'd catch me.
48:41
Speaker 2: My husband and I just found out that in the
48:42
Speaker 2: past two months, his father has stolen in total about
48:46
Speaker 2: $ 800 from his banking account, $ 400 of which was between
48:51
Speaker 2: September 28th and October 8th. He had been pulling the
48:53
Speaker 2: money out the day he got paid, so we didn't realize.
48:57
Speaker 2: Before anyone asks how he had access, they opened up
48:59
Speaker 2: the account together when he was 14, and he didn't
49:01
Speaker 2: expect his father to steal from him, so he never
49:04
Speaker 2: made it a point to take his name off the account.
49:06
Speaker 2: October 8th, he pulled out $ 200, and it was the
49:09
Speaker 2: first time we noticed, which is what caused me to
49:11
Speaker 2: look and find all the other transactions. He called his dad,
49:15
Speaker 2: who made some BS response that he needed it for
49:18
Speaker 2: bills and would get it back eventually. our account the
49:20
Speaker 2: next day, which did not happen. We hit a rough
49:23
Speaker 2: patch early September due to me being ordered on bed rest.
49:27
Speaker 2: We very quickly went from a two-income household to a
49:29
Speaker 2: single income, and we had to really scrape things together
49:31
Speaker 2: to make it work. We thought we were struggling, but
49:34
Speaker 2: it turned out my husband's father was just stealing from us.
49:38
Speaker 3: I don't understand how you noticed that one time but
49:40
Speaker 3: didn't notice it the next time.
49:42
Speaker 1: You know how it is. Fool me once, shame on him.
49:44
Speaker 3: Because it would make more sense if they had more
49:47
Speaker 3: money and were like, oh, we didn't notice like $ 50,
49:51
Speaker 3: a couple dollars or whatever. But I feel like when
49:53
Speaker 3: you have less money, you are more likely to be like, hey,
49:57
Speaker 3: where did all that money go?
49:58
Speaker 4: That's why they found it.
49:59
Speaker 3: But they didn't find it this time.
50:00
Speaker 2: That's what they just said.
50:02
Speaker 3: But they said, oh, we thought we were not doing well.
50:05
Speaker 3: So that kind of to me.
50:06
Speaker 2: Well, no, it's because she lost her income. She became bedridden.
50:10
Speaker 3: No, I get that. I'm just saying she just.
50:12
Speaker 2: I thought it said that as soon as they looked
50:14
Speaker 2: into their money because they weren't making enough, they found it.
50:17
Speaker 3: It didn't seem like it was immediate to me in
50:19
Speaker 3: the way that that was written. Maybe I'm maybe we
50:22
Speaker 3: need more information.
50:22
Speaker 2: I'll say this right now. How often do you look
50:25
Speaker 2: at your bank account?
50:26
Speaker 3: Literally so often. Yeah.
50:28
Speaker 4: OK, there we go. Be like Sophia.
50:30
Speaker 3: I look at it so often.
50:32
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine how vile of a human being
50:34
Speaker 2: you have to be in order to listen to your
50:36
Speaker 2: son and his eight-month pregnant wife talk about their financial struggles,
50:40
Speaker 2: all the while knowing you're taking food from their mouths.
50:43
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine the pain and anger my husband
50:45
Speaker 2: is dealing with right now. and I'm going to tell
50:48
Speaker 2: you right now that this comes from Angel22949. If you
50:52
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
50:53
Speaker 2: slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
50:55
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
50:56
Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
50:57
Speaker 2: We're going to have our thoughts and opinions, and we're
50:58
Speaker 2: going to say them, and you get to tell us
50:59
Speaker 2: what you think about it in the comments, and that's
51:02
Speaker 2: called a dialogue. OP says, Father-in-law and his wife got
51:06
Speaker 2: into a pretty massive argument last month because she had
51:10
Speaker 2: been sending him money for all the bills because she's
51:12
Speaker 2: the breadwinner, And he had been going and spending it
51:15
Speaker 2: all on his coin collection, leaving their mortgage and electric
51:19
Speaker 2: bill unpaid.
51:20
Speaker 1: It's called an investment.
51:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, I spent $ 500 on this 25 piece.
51:27
Speaker 2: Yes, this nickel costs $ 8, 000.
51:30
Speaker 3: But it's a cool nickel.
51:32
Speaker 1: Get all the copper you need now.
51:33
Speaker 2: From the time that argument happened to now, he has
51:37
Speaker 2: taken about $ 600, so I can only assume that he's
51:39
Speaker 2: doing it to save his face and marriage. Are you
51:42
Speaker 2: kidding me? He's doing that because he's got buffalo nickels
51:45
Speaker 2: to buy.
51:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like the guy that spends all of
51:48
Speaker 3: his money on money is not stealing to save his marriage.
51:57
Speaker 2: There's no way his wife has any idea about this.
52:00
Speaker 2: She has truly been a blessing to my husband and
52:02
Speaker 2: I throughout all this. And she would rather starve herself
52:05
Speaker 2: than take money from her children. I have stayed with
52:07
Speaker 2: my in-laws a few weeks while we were moving, and
52:10
Speaker 2: she refused to let me pay rent for the time
52:12
Speaker 2: I was there.
52:12
Speaker 4: She is already on her last leg with him.
52:15
Speaker 3: Well, maybe she refused rent from you guys because she
52:19
Speaker 3: was already taking rent from you guys. She's like, ah,
52:22
Speaker 3: my husband's already stealing the rent money, so.
52:24
Speaker 2: Maybe she was just more into the coin collecting back then.
52:27
Speaker 2: She was like, my husband actually just started doing this thing.
52:29
Speaker 2: We're going to be loaded really soon, so.
52:31
Speaker 3: Don't you worry. We're going to have so much money.
52:34
Speaker 2: He's buying all the pennies.
52:36
Speaker 3: He's going to be worth something someday.
52:38
Speaker 2: Would I be the a-hole if we confront him with
52:40
Speaker 2: all the transactions in front of his wife?
52:43
Speaker 3: Would you be the a-hole if you confronted your father-in-law
52:48
Speaker 3: for stealing your money? Yes.
52:50
Speaker 4: For you asking the question like that? Yeah, asking the question? Yes.
52:54
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you'd be the a-hole for sure.
52:58
Speaker 4: No.
53:00
Speaker 2: The guy stealing from you would probably think you're the a-hole.
53:03
Speaker 3: He's like, hey, why won't you let me steal that money?
53:06
Speaker 1: I like that free money.
53:08
Speaker 2: I want her to know exactly the kind of man
53:10
Speaker 2: she married. Part of me wonders, though, if that's too far.
53:13
Speaker 2: But the other part of me is honestly too angry
53:15
Speaker 2: to care. I just cannot believe a person could be
53:18
Speaker 2: so foul to his own flesh and blood.
53:21
Speaker 4: And there's an update.
53:22
Speaker 3: I don't, I don't, what are you doing?
53:26
Speaker 2: I think you should demand repayment in coin collection.
53:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, take his coin collection. I also think there are
53:32
Speaker 3: many things that you could do to show his wife
53:35
Speaker 3: who he really is. Namely, call the police. That would
53:40
Speaker 3: do it.
53:40
Speaker 4: Police can't do anything about it.
53:42
Speaker 3: Why not?
53:43
Speaker 2: Because he's on the account.
53:45
Speaker 3: Oh, right.
53:46
Speaker 2: It's more just like a, what are you doing?
53:49
Speaker 3: Why can't we take him off the account? Why haven't
53:52
Speaker 3: we done that immediately?
53:53
Speaker 2: Because we didn't think he was going to take $ 800
53:56
Speaker 2: from us. I think now you negotiate You say, you
54:00
Speaker 2: pay me in coin collections, but only at what they're
54:03
Speaker 2: actually worth as coins.
54:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you haven't already taken them off the accounts,
54:08
Speaker 3: let's get to that ASAP.
54:10
Speaker 2: There's an update. We've gotten a lot of very helpful
54:13
Speaker 2: responses and advice from you all, and I want to
54:15
Speaker 2: start off by thanking you guys for that. This has
54:18
Speaker 2: been a very tough situation for everyone involved, and sometimes
54:21
Speaker 2: getting third-party advice is the best way to go. We
54:23
Speaker 2: did take him off the account this morning. Tomorrow morning,
54:27
Speaker 2: we will be closing the account and opening a new
54:29
Speaker 2: one at a different bank, per suggestions. I did take
54:32
Speaker 2: a Redditor's advice, and before we had confronted him about everything,
54:35
Speaker 2: I took mother-in-law aside and explained what had happened, and
54:38
Speaker 2: as I guessed, she had no idea. She was beyond
54:42
Speaker 2: angry and hurt. She's been sending him $ 750 a month
54:46
Speaker 2: to help with utilities, and he's been spending it on
54:48
Speaker 2: God knows what. Their electricity shut off on the 8th.
54:52
Speaker 2: which is why he took the $ 200 from us. He
54:55
Speaker 2: then tried to excuse the other six transactions as an
54:57
Speaker 2: accident and then kept on switching from it being an
55:00
Speaker 2: accident to him having an emergency after nobody, including his wife,
55:03
Speaker 2: believed that any of them were accidents. You can't accidentally
55:08
Speaker 2: take $ 200 out of someone else's account.
55:11
Speaker 4: I've done it.
55:12
Speaker 3: You've what?
55:13
Speaker 1: I'm kidding.
55:14
Speaker 3: I've accidentally sent people money when they were supposed to, like,
55:18
Speaker 3: instead of requesting, I paid it. And then they've had
55:20
Speaker 3: to pay me that money back, you know? I've done
55:23
Speaker 3: that before.
55:23
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what you say to dad? You'd be like, okay, cool,
55:25
Speaker 4: accidentally sent it back.
55:27
Speaker 2: His wife sent us the money he had taken out,
55:30
Speaker 2: which I don't agree with. I don't feel like it
55:33
Speaker 2: was her mistake to rectify. But I also understand she
55:36
Speaker 2: couldn't consciously let us suffer because of him. I have
55:39
Speaker 2: no idea where they are going to go from here,
55:42
Speaker 2: probably the divorce court, but I know now this is
55:46
Speaker 2: not the first time he's done this, and he had
55:48
Speaker 2: taken out money from her account four times before she
55:51
Speaker 2: lost it on him. I mean, what does your partner have.
55:55
Speaker 4: To say about this?
55:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it's his money.
55:58
Speaker 4: I mean, just like, is he, I would assume he's
56:00
Speaker 4: cutting his dad off.
56:02
Speaker 3: I hope so. That would be the logical.
56:04
Speaker 1: Get the money back first, then cut him out.
56:06
Speaker 2: Get the money back, wrestling match.
56:09
Speaker 3: I'm worried that it'd be really hard to get that
56:11
Speaker 3: money back.
56:12
Speaker 2: Well, mom already took care of it. Go steal his coins.
56:16
Speaker 3: Go steal the coin collection.
56:17
Speaker 2: Go like just replace his coins with other coins that
56:20
Speaker 2: aren't valuable.
56:21
Speaker 4: See how long it takes for him to notice.
56:22
Speaker 3: A guy who stole money to have a coin collection
56:25
Speaker 3: is going to notice that his coins are.
56:27
Speaker 2: Well, it's okay. You can just tell him it was
56:29
Speaker 2: an accident. See, I was just playing with your coins
56:31
Speaker 2: and I put the wrong ones back.
56:32
Speaker 4: It's my bad.
56:33
Speaker 2: They all look the same. That'll probably make him more.
56:35
Speaker 4: Mad than anything.
56:36
Speaker 3: I already sold them all.
56:37
Speaker 4: Yeah, I went to 7-Eleven.
56:38
Speaker 2: I spent them all. In my personal opinion, he has
56:41
Speaker 2: a serious problem, whether it be gambling or some kind
56:43
Speaker 2: of substance use disorder. I do not think he would
56:46
Speaker 2: be spending over $ 1, 000 a month on coins, but hopefully
56:49
Speaker 2: this situation can be a means of his wife finding
56:52
Speaker 2: out what has actually been going on. and her being
56:54
Speaker 2: able to take the proper steps to protect herself from
56:57
Speaker 2: his financial instability. We honestly have no idea where to
57:00
Speaker 2: go from here. The last thing I personally want is
57:03
Speaker 2: for Mother-in-law to be sucked into this more than she is,
57:06
Speaker 2: which makes distancing very difficult, because no matter what, she's
57:09
Speaker 2: also going to take some of that downfall, even if
57:12
Speaker 2: it's just supposed to be him. I am not sure
57:14
Speaker 2: where their relationship.
57:15
Speaker 4: Is after this, though.
57:16
Speaker 2: She feels very betrayed.
57:17
Speaker 4: So, that's where we're at.
57:19
Speaker 2: I want to thank everyone again for the amazing advice
57:21
Speaker 2: and the validating responses. You've all helped out a lot
57:24
Speaker 2: more than you realize. And that's the end of that story.
57:28
Speaker 3: I realized. I realized how much I helped, actually.
57:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're kind of the only reason that they made
57:34
Speaker 2: it through that.
57:35
Speaker 4: You're welcome.
57:36
Speaker 3: You're welcome for all the help that I gave you.
57:38
Speaker 4: Go steal his coins. Steal all his coins. Genuine advice.
57:41
Speaker 2: Steal his coins.
57:42
Speaker 4: What's he going to do? Go to the police?
57:45
Speaker 3: Steal all his coins.
57:46
Speaker 4: What are the police going to say? Oh, coin boy
57:49
Speaker 4: lost his coins. Shut up, nerd.
57:51
Speaker 3: And then you take the coins and you put them
57:55
Speaker 3: in a little gumball machine and spend all of the
57:58
Speaker 3: coins on gumballs.
57:59
Speaker 4: It's very meta. Put all the coins in one of
58:01
Speaker 4: those little things that you make like you squish the penny.
58:04
Speaker 4: You squish all his coins.
58:07
Speaker 3: You go to the zoo, you squish all his pennies.
58:09
Speaker 3: I mean, his coins, his quarters. Squish all his quarters.
58:14
Speaker 3: And they all will have little giraffes on them.
58:17
Speaker 1: And then he can click those.
58:19
Speaker 4: You'd be like, Dad, you had all these worthless coins.
58:22
Speaker 4: I decided to do something with them. Now they're worth
58:25
Speaker 4: much more. To me.
58:27
Speaker 2: Just give it time.
58:29
Speaker 4: Just you wait.
58:29
Speaker 2: Until someone out there is going to be in the market.
58:32
Speaker 2: They're like, I want a Roosevelt dime that's also a
58:35
Speaker 2: giraffe from the zoo. And that's the end of this story.
58:38
Speaker 2: Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your
58:41
Speaker 2: favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get back
58:43
Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
58:46
Speaker 2: our sponsors. My sister became a mother, and suddenly she's
58:50
Speaker 2: better than all of us. Well, she is. I, 41 male,
58:54
Speaker 2: have quite a large family. And my youngest sibling, 21 female, Laura,
58:59
Speaker 2: is a first-time mom to her daughter, one female. To
59:02
Speaker 2: be honest, we are a very close family. Obviously, no
59:05
Speaker 2: family is perfect, but we're all pretty close. My siblings
59:08
Speaker 2: and I have always had differences. parenting methods. Some of
59:11
Speaker 2: us sleep train. Some of us co-sleep. Some of us
59:14
Speaker 2: have larger families. Some of us have smaller families. Some
59:16
Speaker 2: of us send our kids to public school. Some of
59:19
Speaker 2: us to homeschool. Some of us have red kids. Some
59:22
Speaker 2: of us have blue kids.
59:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry. Are we reading a Dr. Seuss novel now?
59:27
Speaker 2: And no, we are not. religious before people ask. I'm
59:31
Speaker 2: a father of six kids and my oldest two kids
59:34
Speaker 2: are twins and they're 16. My youngest child is almost
59:37
Speaker 2: seven months old. Like I mentioned, my sister Laura became
59:39
Speaker 2: a mom for the first time a year ago. Her
59:42
Speaker 2: daughter is one. Laura is very much into attachment parenting
59:46
Speaker 2: and gentle parenting. No screen time at all. Baby wearing
59:49
Speaker 2: all the time.
59:50
Speaker 3: Baby wearing? Like you have to have the baby on
59:53
Speaker 3: you at all times?
59:53
Speaker 2: I imagine that is a full-blown papoose at all times.
59:57
Speaker 3: Baby wearing all times.
59:59
Speaker 2: Catch me posted up in this papoose.
1:00:01
Speaker 3: Aren't you supposed to have them on the floor a
1:00:03
Speaker 3: little bit?
1:00:03
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so.
1:00:05
Speaker 2: I think they should be moving around.
1:00:07
Speaker 3: I think they're supposed to learn how to walk at
1:00:08
Speaker 3: some point.
1:00:09
Speaker 2: And that's fine. Oh, that's fine. Everybody parents differently. I
1:00:14
Speaker 2: won't judge unless I think someone's genuinely not being a
1:00:17
Speaker 2: good parent. And Laura seems to be a great mom.
1:00:20
Speaker 2: But ever since having her daughter, it's like she suddenly
1:00:22
Speaker 2: thinks she's the parenting expert. Which is normal, I understand.
1:00:27
Speaker 2: But yikes, her holier-than-thou personality has really gotten on my
1:00:31
Speaker 2: other siblings and I's nerves.
1:00:34
Speaker 3: Are y'all telling me that you have a good relationship
1:00:36
Speaker 3: with your siblings, but you don't immediately call each other
1:00:39
Speaker 3: out on that type of stuff?
1:00:40
Speaker 4: Well, I feel like with parenting, it's different.
1:00:43
Speaker 3: Is it, though?
1:00:44
Speaker 2: Probably. In terms of the intensity of how emotionally charged
1:00:49
Speaker 2: it would be, you know?
1:00:50
Speaker 3: I think that's a pretty fair point. I guess what
1:00:52
Speaker 3: I'm coming from is... If my sibling were annoying me
1:00:56
Speaker 3: in general, I would immediately say, like, hey, stop doing that.
1:01:01
Speaker 2: Most of us already have been parents for over a
1:01:05
Speaker 2: decade now, and all of us are good parents. None
1:01:08
Speaker 2: of us have ever tried to one-up each other in
1:01:10
Speaker 2: regards to how we parent. And by the way, this
1:01:13
Speaker 2: comes from CaptainThrow123. If you want to submit your own stories,
1:01:16
Speaker 2: go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
1:01:18
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
1:01:19
Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
1:01:20
Speaker 2: And we're going to read this story, but just to
1:01:23
Speaker 2: let you know, none of us are parents.
1:01:25
Speaker 1: We don't know everything.
1:01:26
Speaker 3: That's what you think.
1:01:27
Speaker 2: We only know the things that we know.
1:01:28
Speaker 4: Who are you a parent to?
1:01:30
Speaker 3: No, you're a parent. You just didn't know.
1:01:32
Speaker 4: That'd be so scary.
1:01:33
Speaker 2: Anyway, tell us your scary stories in the comments. And
1:01:38
Speaker 2: OP says, oftentimes us siblings are all talking about parenting
1:01:41
Speaker 2: and Laura will hear what we say about our own parenting.
1:01:44
Speaker 2: And in response, she will say things like, yeah, I
1:01:47
Speaker 2: never put Ellie to be in her own crib. She's
1:01:49
Speaker 2: so secure and attached to me because of that. Ellie
1:01:52
Speaker 2: will never watch TV when she's older. I won't let
1:01:54
Speaker 2: her be brain damaged. I couldn't imagine letting my kid
1:01:57
Speaker 2: play independently. I'm her mom. It's my job to entertain her.
1:02:01
Speaker 4: Oh, she's going to be a helicopter parent too.
1:02:06
Speaker 3: So far, not sounding great.
1:02:08
Speaker 1: You keep doing that, Ellie's going to resent you.
1:02:10
Speaker 2: This is how you get Norman Bates.
1:02:11
Speaker 3: You also really do need to let your kids figure,
1:02:16
Speaker 3: like be bored. Because I think there is the idea
1:02:19
Speaker 3: that you have to constantly entertain your kids, whether that
1:02:22
Speaker 3: be like you are playing with them or giving them
1:02:26
Speaker 3: an iPad or something so that they're not bored. But
1:02:29
Speaker 3: sometimes you just got to let kids be bored and
1:02:31
Speaker 3: they need to figure out how to entertain themselves.
1:02:34
Speaker 2: All of this is in response to us talking about
1:02:37
Speaker 2: our parenting. It's not like she's telling us about her parenting.
1:02:40
Speaker 2: She's purposefully taking what we have said and telling us
1:02:43
Speaker 2: that she's just so much better because she has a
1:02:46
Speaker 2: different way of parenting. And it comes across as judgmental.
1:02:50
Speaker 2: All my siblings have noticed this. Let's see what's at
1:02:53
Speaker 2: the end of this story here. Yesterday, we were all
1:02:56
Speaker 2: at a family barbecue and we were talking.
1:02:58
Speaker 4: My brother jokingly said.
1:03:00
Speaker 2: That he always smiles when he sees that it's almost
1:03:02
Speaker 2: bedtime because then he gets a moment of peace once
1:03:06
Speaker 2: his kids are asleep.
1:03:07
Speaker 4: We all laughed because this was clearly a joke. Laura
1:03:10
Speaker 4: spoke up.
1:03:10
Speaker 2: Of course, and said, Oh, I couldn't imagine being excited
1:03:14
Speaker 2: about Ellie going to bed.
1:03:15
Speaker 1: Shut up.
1:03:17
Speaker 2: And it's because she's one, dog.
1:03:19
Speaker 4: Give it some time.
1:03:21
Speaker 3: Just you wait until she's a toddler.
1:03:23
Speaker 4: She's at the easiest age.
1:03:25
Speaker 3: Just you wait until she can walk.
1:03:28
Speaker 2: She's my favorite person in the whole world, and I
1:03:30
Speaker 2: love her more than anything.
1:03:32
Speaker 1: She's informed sentences.
1:03:33
Speaker 3: She's not even a person yet.
1:03:35
Speaker 4: Are we hating on a kid right now?
1:03:36
Speaker 1: We can't.
1:03:37
Speaker 3: I don't hate on the kid. Why would I?
1:03:39
Speaker 2: You just took away her personhood.
1:03:41
Speaker 3: She's not a person yet.
1:03:42
Speaker 4: Ellie's not a person.
1:03:43
Speaker 3: No, she's a baby. She can't be your favorite person.
1:03:47
Speaker 3: She can't even talk.
1:03:49
Speaker 2: Everyone got really awkward and silent after, so... In the end,
1:03:53
Speaker 2: I just said, you're not a better parent than the
1:03:55
Speaker 2: rest of us because you choose to parent differently. Stop
1:03:58
Speaker 2: acting like you're better than the rest of us. Now
1:04:01
Speaker 2: she's mad at me, saying I'm just jealous of how
1:04:03
Speaker 2: she parents. Am I the a-hole? Bro, she's jealous? You're
1:04:09
Speaker 2: jealous of the way she parents?
1:04:11
Speaker 3: You're jealous of how I don't let my daughter....
1:04:16
Speaker 2: Stand, sit on the floor, which yeah, by the way, not,
1:04:19
Speaker 2: not a parent. So I've got no horse in this race,
1:04:21
Speaker 2: but I think that's probably the worst way you could
1:04:23
Speaker 2: probably parent.
1:04:24
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even think there's necessarily like, I'm
1:04:27
Speaker 3: not going to judge her for how she is parenting.
1:04:29
Speaker 2: I will.
1:04:31
Speaker 3: There is so many different ways to parent. And it's
1:04:34
Speaker 3: very silly that she's saying anything at all. And she's
1:04:38
Speaker 3: the newest one there.
1:04:39
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story.