Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Your number 1 tool to defeat a narcissist...CLARITY

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Your number 1 tool to defeat a narcissist...CLARITY · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be talking about how to defeat a
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  narcissist, how to protect yourself in a relationship with
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  a narcissist, like protect yourself from gaslighting and
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  further manipulation. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, folks, welcome
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  back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Giddy. Yeah.
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  So how to defeat a narcissist? How to how to guard against
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  protect yourself against a narcissist tactics.
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  You know, that's the question that I get so much on my
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  channel. Like literally everywhere,
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  literally everywhere, no matter if it's on YouTube, Facebook,
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  TikTok, Instagram threads, Twitter.
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  How do I look? How do I defeat them?
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  How do I stop them from manipulating me?
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  How, how, how Lee, tell us. I feel like how grabbing me out
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  of shirt, like tell us, Lee, tell them like come on, let me
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  down. Let me go, let me go.
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  Damn. OK, I got you.
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  I got you. I got you.
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  No, but seriously, getting like the number one way to defeat a
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  narcissist to, to guard against their manipulation, to protect
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  yourself against the gaslighting, to stop questioning
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  yourself, to, to protect yourself against the self
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  gaslighting. A lot of people self gaslight,
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  right? Clarity getting clear.
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  Yeah. Getting clear of what you're
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  going through, getting clear on who they are.
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  Getting clear, getting clarity can help protect you against
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  narcissistic people. And that's it.
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  Yeah, that is just factual information for you right there.
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  Sliced and diced and like cut up a nice little, a nice little
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  chunk for you. Is it?
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  It's an it's an edible slice for you, right.
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  Because getting like yo, your confusion, you being confused,
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  you not being in a operate in a different a decent space that
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  benefits the narcissistic person in your life.
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  You not understanding what you're going through.
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  You're not you're not like you questioning yourself, you
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  thinking you're going crazy, you feeling like you're going crazy.
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  You questioning your own reality or reality in general benefits
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  the narcissist. So how do you take that benefit
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  away? How do you remove that benefit?
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  You get clear. Y'all don't want me to go.
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  Y'all know I do my one on ones of resume, right?
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  Y'all have no idea how many people that I talk to every
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  single day that are in this confused state that don't
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  understand what they're going through that that they don't
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  like. They don't know up from down
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  left from right because they've been in a toxic narcissistic
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  relationship for far too long and far too long can be 3
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  months. You know?
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  I know y'all think y'all think I'm going to say like 1020
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  years, which is a long last time, but far too long could be
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  something as little as one month, two months, three months.
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  Narcissistic people that have no intent on treating you well and
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  just being abusive don't deserve one second of your time.
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  So sometimes being in their presence for over a minute is
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  not like I said, it's more is far too long, you know, So
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  they're like tell people you have to get clear.
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  You have to get clear on who you are, get that clarity, Get.
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  Yeah, I tell people in my support group, I have a support
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  group called the Mental Healers. You can find
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  everything@mentalhealness.net. I tell, tell so many people
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  they're getting clear. You have to get clear.
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  You have to get grounded. Sometimes when you're getting
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  anxious, you damn near about to have an anxiety attack or a
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  panic attack. You feel yourself breathing hard
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  and you feel you're in so much pain.
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  Yeah, take your shoes off, take your take.
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  Go outside and put like, take your shoes off, take your socks
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  off, go outside, find some grass, find some concrete, put
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  your feet down and squeeze like that.
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  Grip the grass with your toes. close your eyes.
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  Breathe, breathe. You have to get this out of your
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  system. You have to get clear on exactly
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  what you're going through. You have to get clear on exactly
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  who you're dealing with. You have to get clear.
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  You have to. There's no UPS, no ifs, ands or
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  buts about it. You absolutely have to get
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  clear. You know what I mean?
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  And that's why I tell people so many times that like if you're
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  battling a narcissistic toxic person, if you're battling an
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  abuser you like, they want you nice and confused, right?
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  They want you to be super confused.
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  They want you to be because your confusion is of great benefit to
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  them. Like the more that they can gas
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  like the hell out of you and have you questioning your own
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  actions, the more that they win and they want to win.
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  Y'all. It's, it's, it's speaking in
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  terms of wins and losses. That's really what it is.
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  It's speaking in terms of wins and losses.
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  They win. When you are confused, take
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  yourself outside, put your feet in the dirt and breathe.
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  It seems super simplistic, but sometimes simple is the best.
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  You don't have to get complicated.
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  Go outside, breathe, write down things.
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  Y'all Start documenting things You want to defeat a narcissist.
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  Start documenting things you want to beat a narcissist.
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  Record, situate, record conversations.
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  I'm not telling you to record them like this.
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  Put the phone in their face and like, look, I got you, I'm
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  recording you. What would you say?
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  What would you say? Because they'll gaslight you and
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  manipulate you even more. I'm not saying to do that.
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  I'm saying get clear on exactly what is going on.
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  And the way you do that, like it benefits you, is to record
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  conversations, write down, have a journal, have a diary.
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  Write this type of stuff down in order to help you get clear, in
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  order to help you get clarity. Write down.
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  Yeah, write down the truth. I don't give a about to say the
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  F word. I don't care what they have to
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  say to you. Like what they say to you is
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  irrelevant, right? What they, what their actions
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  are saying is different. When their words and actions are
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  not matching up, it can lead to you being confused.
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  Like when they keep telling you I love you so much.
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  I would never do anything like that.
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  And they go and do exactly that. But then they come back and tell
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  you again that they love you. They wouldn't do it or they're
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  sorry. It it's well, I'm telling you,
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  it can make you feel like you're going crazy.
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  I talk to so many people all the time that are crying because
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  they're so confused. They're they're in such a
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  heightened state. I tell them that like you got to
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  take a deep breath. You got to slow down.
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  Even when you're trying to heal, you have to slow down sometimes
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  you don't want to rush the healing process because when you
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  rushing, when you're rushing, you miss stuff, don't you?
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  The more you rush, the more stuff you're going to miss.
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  That's what's going to happen. The more you rush, the more
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  stuff you are apartment to miss. When you start missing things,
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  you're going to miss red flags. You're going to end up right
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  back with this person or you're going to end up with somebody
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  worse or somebody just this bad or somebody one tear, one tear
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  down. You know, man, this is like, I
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  know some people just like, well, if they were one tear
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  better, I'll take that. No, you wouldn't because it's
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  still bad. It seems like it would be
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  better, but it would still be bad.
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  It would still be bad. So tell yourself the truth.
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  Get clear on who they are. Get clear on who you are.
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  Not only do you have to get clear like their word, when
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  their words and their actions are not matching up, write down
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  the truth. They said they were here.
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  They did this. I have proof that they were not
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  there and they did. They did this.
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  Why are you questioning yourself now?
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  Why are you allowing them the chance to manipulate you?
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  No, no, no. I never said I was going to be
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  there. You hear that?
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  You can play the recording for yourself.
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  You don't have to play it for them.
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  Because guess what happens when you tell a narcissist that
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  you've recorded them? Guess what happens when you tell
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  a narcissist that you've recorded them?
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  They get angry as hell that you recorded them.
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  They get pissed off. You don't trust me.
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  Wow. You really going to do this?
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  You really going to put yourself out there like that?
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  You're going to say this. You're going to do this.
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  You're going to say this. You're going to do that.
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  That's what they want to do. Y'all they want?
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  Yeah. They want victory by any means
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  necessary. They want victory at any cost,
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  any cost to you. The cost, like the cost is going
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  to go to you. The cost is passed down to you.
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  You're going to pay the cost, not them.
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  They don't want to pay the cost. The cost doesn't benefit the
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  narcissist, y'all, The cost doesn't benefit the narcissist.
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  So they're going to do things where they don't, they don't
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  want to get charged. So that's what I tell you.
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  Get clear. Tell yourself the truth about
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  who they are and tell yourself the truth about you.
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  You know what I mean? So many people, I'm going to do
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  a longer video on limiting beliefs because limiting beliefs
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  are going to be part of my course.
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  I have coming out my new course, but so many people get into
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  these relationships and get so lost in them.
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  You get lost in the sauce and confusion of these relationship
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  dynamics that you end up questioning yourself about who
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  you are. Maybe I am too needy.
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  Maybe I am insecure. Maybe I I do ask too many
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  questions. Maybe I am untrustworthy.
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  Maybe I am just blind. Maybe I did hear wrong.
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  Maybe they are right. Maybe they are the best I'm
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  going to get. Maybe I will be alone for the
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  rest of my life. Come on, y'all.
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  You have to want to win in these situations right here.
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  Clarity is a killer. Getting clear, y'all.
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  Whatever it takes for you to get clear.
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  Working in yourself, breathing, going to therapy, meditating,
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  doing some yoga, doing physical exercise.
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  Whatever it takes you to get clear.
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  Get clear. It's hard, y'all.
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  It's hard as hell to heal in the same environment that made you
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  sick. Yeah, if you're breathing in the
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  fumes of toxicity, you're going to be delirious.
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  Like this is a good example of gas lighting right here.
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  Y'all. Let's say this was a let's say
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  this was this this pepper right here.
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  Let's say this was gas like, you know, like 8787 gas because
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  narcissistic that you're not getting a premium.
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  It's 87. It's regularly unleaded.
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  If I take this gas and that's why I breathing it in, if I keep
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  breathing in the fumes of this of this gas, what's going to
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  happen to me? I'm going to get confused.
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  I'm going to start hallucinating.
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  I'm going to start questioning my reality because my reality
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  might be getting twisted, right? If I breathe in these toxic
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  fumes, I'm going to get sick emotionally or mentally, right?
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  Sometimes physically. That's just like real
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  gaslighting. If you're allowed, if you are
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  constantly around in this, in this environment where you
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  constantly being gas lit, you're going to be confused.
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  You're going to be delirious. You're going to feel a certain
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  type of way, aren't you? You see what I'm saying?
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  This is the space that you have to understand that this is a lot
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  of so many people go through in these situations.
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  But where's what happens? I'm if I'm breathing in the gas
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  and I'm becoming delirious, what happens if I take the gas away
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  and I get to if I get to a clearer environment where
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  there's no gas, it's just fresh air, the hallucinations go away.
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  I understand that can see what I'm actually going through.
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  I can understand and see what I've actually been experiencing.
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  I can understand and see all of this stuff that's actually been
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  happening and whatnot. I'm clear I get away from the
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  gas. Sometimes the change of
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  environment is necessary. I'm not telling you to move,
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  leave your house, leave the city.
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  But sometimes if y'all live together, go into a different
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  room to meditate, believe they follow me in there, then you
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  have to look. You have to make a plan.
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  I'm not telling you to leave. You have to leave if you want to
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  leave because some people are not done until they're done.
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  You know, some people are not done today.
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  Get completely broken, lost your job, lost your house, lost your
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  car. I've seen so many people I
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  talked to recently. I mean, just people I talked to
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  doing one on ones with there's nothing.
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  Like I said, I tell them all, I give them all the good
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  information I do and they still don't go back.
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  They know they, they, they, they know it's wrong because their
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  heart and their mind are are are in disarray.
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  Their logical brain tells them that they are doing wrong, that
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  this person is bad for them. But their remote, their heart is
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  leading them down a path of darkness and confusion.
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  Because your heart is not clear. Your, your vision, your actual
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  vision is clear. Your mind is clear.
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  But your heart is not clear. Your heart needs clarity.
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  You need to get emotional clarity as well.
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  Getting clear on your emotions and how you really feel about
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  this person. You don't fucking love them
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  anymore. That's trauma.
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  Love don't hurt this way. Love don't have you crying every
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  single night. Love.
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  Don't have you questioning and wanting to take your own life
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  sometimes. That's not love y'all, that's
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  not love. That's trauma bond, that's
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  addiction. They this is this is an
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  addictive substance. You need a withdrawal pod.
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  You need an emotional withdrawal pod to get away from this
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  narcissistic person. You need a padded room so you
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  can bounce around in. You need to, you know,
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  emotionally padded room so you can bounce around in and detox.
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  You need an emotional detox. You need to get clear,
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  emotionally clear, whatever it takes.
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  Sorry, I felt all right. I, I know I normally let y'all
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  know when the rent bubble is coming.
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  I just couldn't hold it in that time because I love you.
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  I don't want y'all to win, OK? I really mean that.
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  Anyways, y'all check out the support group.
• 12:53
  It's called the mental healers has some events coming up in
• 12:57
  Dallas and Houston, TX here pretty soon.
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  Dallas, TX, November the 2nd Houston, TX I think we're doing
• 13:02
  on November the third. More information to come
• 13:04
  tomorrow. It'll be available tomorrow.
• 13:05
  Join my newsletter at mentalillness.net For more
• 13:08
  information. Subscribe to the channel.
• 13:10
  It's always y'all mental illness is out.
• 13:11
  Peace, Thank you so much for making it to the end of my
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  video. I am extremely grateful for you
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  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
• 13:18
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
• 13:20
  people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
• 13:22
  browse to another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 13:29
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.