Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Do Narcissists ever feel sorry for how they treat you or what they do to you?

Transcript

Do Narcissists ever feel sorry for how they treat you or what they do to you? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:04
  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
• 0:07
  better known as mental illness across all social media
• 0:10
  platforms. This is the first time I see my
• 0:12
  face or hearing my lovely voice. I'm a clinically clinically
• 0:15
  diagnosed narcissist and it's my platform on social media to
• 0:18
  raise awareness for NPD. Get more people into therapy and
• 0:21
  also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
• 0:24
  disorder. Said toxic people said toxic
• 0:25
  traits. Today's episode is going to be
• 0:28
  answering the question do narcissists ever feel sorry for
• 0:31
  how they treat people whoo Oh my goodness round this is going to
• 0:37
  y'all. Just be just be prepared before
• 0:39
  we happen to today's episode. Y'all check out the self love
• 0:42
  brand. I have some new shirts on there.
• 0:44
  New new merch. I love Me, the Selflove brand.
• 0:48
  This is the I'm enough blue with the pink heart.
• 0:51
  Hey, real men, Real, real men were pink.
• 0:55
  But yeah, the links in the description of every single
• 0:57
  video. Y'all I love me the selflove
• 0:59
  brand. But yeah, do narcissistic people
• 1:02
  ever feel sorry for how they treat people?
• 1:04
  Yeah, this is a very nuanced question, but most of the time
• 1:07
  the answer to this question is probably going to be like, it
• 1:10
  really just depends on that person most times.
• 1:13
  Oh, just a lot of times. Dealing with a narcissistic
• 1:16
  person, they might actually feel sorry for how they treat you If
• 1:20
  they're not sociopathic or psychopathic.
• 1:23
  Maybe they might. They might not feel bad then,
• 1:25
  because they don't really. Some of them really don't really
• 1:27
  care. But your regular run of the
• 1:29
  bill, personal narcissistic personal disorder might actually
• 1:32
  actually they might. It it they might actually care
• 1:36
  if they hurt your feelings, You know, they might actually feel
• 1:38
  bad if they hurt your feelings or hurt you in any type of way.
• 1:42
  Sometimes they do. Y'all because me personally.
• 1:44
  I have experienced this a lot of times in my life.
• 1:46
  I just Dang it. Why do that?
• 1:48
  You know what I mean? Why did my why don't let my
• 1:50
  impulses take over and let me hurt this person.
• 1:53
  And I know I love so much. Why did I do this?
• 1:55
  Why? Why?
• 1:56
  Why? But here comes the y'all.
• 1:59
  Here comes y'all know it. Y'all know I.
• 2:02
  There's always a butt, right? They might feel sorry butt.
• 2:05
  Big old butt. Big old butt with two big A, big
• 2:10
  BA, little U and two Big T's. Big old butt.
• 2:16
  Their mind, the narcissistic person's mind probably does
• 2:19
  mental gymnastics to find a way to blame you.
• 2:22
  The narcissistic person in question might find a way to
• 2:26
  blame you for their behaviors, might find a way to blame you
• 2:29
  for how they are treated. You might find a way to blame
• 2:31
  you for their actions. And, you know, might find a way
• 2:34
  to blame you, to avoid, to avoid consequences and all of this
• 2:38
  stuff. They might find a way to put it
• 2:41
  onto you. You know what I mean?
• 2:43
  They very well might find a way to put it onto you.
• 2:45
  They might feel bad in a moment. They might feel bad later on.
• 2:49
  Because it does pop. Yeah, because it does pop back
• 2:51
  up. It does pop up sooner or later.
• 2:54
  Yeah, it does pop up. Like people that I might have
• 2:56
  hurt 10 years ago, It pops into my head like, Dang, why do that?
• 3:01
  Because, like the shame. Yeah, yeah, I feel like shame
• 3:03
  stores this stuff. I feel like shame has a damn.
• 3:06
  I feel like shame has a damn book bag and it stores this
• 3:09
  stuff and I'm feeling too good. It digs into that book bag like,
• 3:12
  hey, you remember you hurt that girl 10 years ago?
• 3:14
  Dang you. You said you remember you said
• 3:17
  this to your wife 18 years maybe.
• 3:19
  You said this to your your son's mom 14 years ago.
• 3:22
  You remember you did this to your brother 20 years ago?
• 3:26
  Yeah, it stores and it brings it up.
• 3:29
  So I do feel bad every. I do feel bad.
• 3:32
  Some narcissistic people do feel bad and and they feel ashamed of
• 3:35
  what they've done. But so many narcissists out here
• 3:39
  compound instead of just handling it, handling it in the
• 3:43
  moment and deal and taking accountability for what they've
• 3:46
  done Instead of doing that, instead of doing that, they
• 3:50
  compound the shame. They compound the guilt, They
• 3:54
  compound it and do something worse.
• 3:56
  Or they blame you. They blame you instead of just
• 4:00
  saying, hey, look, I did you, I'm sorry I lied to you.
• 4:02
  They tell a bigger lie, they go out and do worse or they blame
• 4:06
  you. They'll get angry at you.
• 4:07
  They're rage out on you for trying to hold them accountable
• 4:09
  for something they have actually done to you.
• 4:12
  That's the crazy part about it, is they've actually done this to
• 4:15
  you and they're holding you accountable for what they have
• 4:18
  done to you. And I know it can be extremely
• 4:21
  frustrating to a lot of people. Like, damn what we do to deserve
• 4:24
  this. Lee, you didn't tell you the
• 4:25
  only thing you did. Was date this person, Marry this
• 4:28
  person, Make this person feel insecure.
• 4:31
  Make this person feel some shame.
• 4:32
  That's the only thing you did. And a lot of times you making
• 4:35
  them feel ashamed. You can just graduate from
• 4:36
  college and that makes them feel ashamed because they only got a
• 4:38
  high school degree, they got a high school diploma, they got a
• 4:41
  GED. So some narcissistic people
• 4:44
  might actually feel bad for what they've done to you.
• 4:45
  They might actually feel sorry for how they treat people.
• 4:48
  Some, I didn't say, oh, some. And yeah, this.
• 4:51
  Let me go ahead and let me rewind this real quick.
• 4:52
  Let me rewind. I'm going to rewind this back to
• 4:54
  the beginning. Remember, I'm not the narcissist
• 4:55
  hurt people. Just because some of them might
• 5:00
  feel bad for how they've treated you in the past does not mean
• 5:03
  you should go back to them. Y'all, don't use this video.
• 5:07
  Please do not use this video as a catalyst.
• 5:12
  To or a reason to go back, Please don't do that.
• 5:17
  Please do not use this video or this podcast as a reason to go
• 5:20
  back into that relationship space or the relationship
• 5:22
  dynamic. Like, oh, Lee Hammer said they
• 5:24
  might feel sorry for it, and maybe he did say sorry, but he
• 5:28
  didn't change his behavior. So maybe Lee was right.
• 5:29
  No. Yeah.
• 5:30
  Don't. Don't, Don't do that.
• 5:33
  Do not do that. Don't do it.
• 5:35
  I'm telling you got to do it. Because a lot of, even though
• 5:38
  narcissistic person might feel bad for how they treated you,
• 5:41
  they're not going to act like it.
• 5:43
  That's the thing. They might feel bad, but they
• 5:45
  might. They're probably not going to
• 5:46
  act like it. Some of them might do something
• 5:48
  bad to you and get angry as helped you and compound the
• 5:51
  shame and take the and rage out on you and do something horrible
• 5:54
  to you. Some of them might take it in
• 5:57
  the other direction and do something horrible or bad to
• 6:00
  you. You see what I'm saying?
• 6:01
  Some of them might actually do that.
• 6:02
  They don't want that. They don't want healing.
• 6:05
  They don't want compromise. They want control.
• 6:07
  No healing. No compromise.
• 6:08
  Control. Let me control the situation.
• 6:09
  Let me control the narrative. Let me control how you feel.
• 6:11
  Let me control how you talk about me.
• 6:12
  Let me control how you think about me.
• 6:15
  It's about control a lot of the times.
• 6:16
  Y'all. So I tell people like, it's
• 6:18
  about control a lot of the times.
• 6:20
  You know what I mean? So some of them might actually
• 6:22
  feel bad, but, like, my, like, this is kind of very, very
• 6:24
  similar to narcissists feeling guilt over more.
• 6:27
  So my therapist asked me one day.
• 6:28
  She just like, I was telling her this wild story one time.
• 6:31
  And she was just like, huh? Describe.
• 6:34
  Describe how you feel guilt. Describe guilt.
• 6:37
  I was like, well, I'll feel bad for something I did to somebody
• 6:41
  in the moment. I was like, Dang, why do that?
• 6:42
  Why I feel so bad? But then my mind will do this
• 6:45
  mental gymnastics and start to blame the other person.
• 6:47
  She's like, yeah, that's not guilt.
• 6:48
  That's the spectrum of guilt or remorse.
• 6:50
  She's like, you're not really experiencing it.
• 6:53
  You know you're not really experiencing the guilt or
• 6:55
  remorse. You just going through the
• 6:56
  motions of it because you don't experiencing it for real makes
• 7:00
  you uncomfortable. Experience experiencing guilt or
• 7:02
  remorse comes with it comes alongside accountability.
• 7:05
  And that accountability I'm telling you accountabilities
• 7:08
  little brother is shame account the little brother little
• 7:11
  sister, little sibling of accountability is shame.
• 7:15
  Shame right behind it. Shame.
• 7:17
  Peek shame. Look shame be peek around the
• 7:18
  corner. Accountability Accountability
• 7:20
  steps in the door and says hey, what's going on Lee.
• 7:22
  And shame is like, I see you handily, I see you.
• 7:26
  I'm. I'm here, too.
• 7:27
  And you want to avoid shame. You like.
• 7:28
  Oh, right. Oh, go Shame.
• 7:30
  You don't mean you don't want the shame.
• 7:33
  That comes along with accountability.
• 7:35
  You see what I'm saying? They might feel bad, but, like,
• 7:37
  sometimes a lot of narcissists have problems processing their,
• 7:41
  you know, experiencing their emotions in a healthy way, in a
• 7:45
  healthy dynamic. So they'll treat you horribly
• 7:47
  because they don't know how to treat you.
• 7:49
  And again, y'all, this is not me making excuses for their
• 7:51
  behaviors. Because you do.
• 7:52
  You will find a lot of selfaware narcissist pages out here.
• 7:55
  They make excuses for their behaviors.
• 7:57
  It won't be this one though. It won't be this.
• 7:59
  Selfaware narcissist. I try my hardest not to make
• 8:02
  excuses for my behaviors. I try to be realistic.
• 8:04
  I try to talk. I try to think, you know, to
• 8:06
  help people. I'm not here to make y'all feel
• 8:08
  bad for me or feel sorry for me or use weaponize your empathy
• 8:10
  against you. That's not my goal here.
• 8:12
  Y'all. Some of them might feel sorry
• 8:15
  for you. I'm going to keep this episode
• 8:16
  short and sweet to the point. Y'all but again, if we hop over
• 8:18
  here, the self love brand is available.
• 8:20
  Lee Hammond I love me a Self Love brand is in the league is
• 8:25
  in the description. The comments Y'all thank y'all
• 8:27
  so much for the support I'm truly eternally grateful for
• 8:29
  y'all. If you haven't already, go ahead
• 8:30
  and subscribe Y'all but to hear this is out peace.
• 8:34
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 8:35
  Y'all thank you for watching my video to the end.
• 8:37
  I'm super eternally grateful for every single one of you.
• 8:40
  If you haven't already, make sure that you subscribe to the
• 8:43
  channel so we can help reach more people, help more people
• 8:45
  and things like that. The Self Love brand is
• 8:48
  available. I love me.
• 8:49
  The Self Love Journal is available as well.
• 8:52
  Links in the description of every video I do.
• 8:55
  If you haven't already as well look into joining the channel
• 8:57
  memberships before behind the scenes, perks, priority
• 9:00
  responses, the comments and things like that.
• 9:02
  Y'all thank you so much for being here.
• 9:03
  See you next time. Yeah, who goes better?