Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #88| People Pleasing is Exhausting—Here’s a Better Way

Transcript

#88| People Pleasing is Exhausting—Here’s a Better Way · Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Hey friend, thanks for joining.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Today.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be sharing a resource that I really love with you today, something from a book of Jen Sincero's called you Are a Badass.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I also want to remind you that if you have been enjoying these quick hit Thursdays that you should send me a text link is in all the show notes and ask me a specific question that you have that you'd like me to cover.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I've gotten a couple great ones and I'm working on episodes in response to those, and I'd love to answer your question as well.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Response to those and I'd love to answer your question as well.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, so back to today.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: This is a quote from Jen Sincero, and if you're not familiar with her, you should absolutely look her up and link to this book that I'm going to link in the show notes.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: But one of my favorite things that she said that really helped me change my life is that you are responsible for what you say and do.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Isn't that awesome?
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: And it is totally true.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: This is something that I say to my clients all the time, because when we change for ourselves, for the better, all of the people who are used to us behaving in the old way, a way that probably served them for example, if you're a people pleaser, the people around you are used to you saying yes and taking care of things for them.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: If you stop doing that, or even slow down on doing that, they're like what the heck?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Who's supposed to put together our Thanksgiving dinner now if you're not going to do it?
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: So it's true that sometimes people don't enjoy our changes, and that's expected and that's totally okay.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you a little bit of a backstory about when I first was introduced to this book.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I had gone on a business trip.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: This is when I had my corporate job, so this is like eight or ten years ago.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I had gone on a business trip.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I was super looking forward to the meeting because it was with a bunch of people who I had worked with for a long time and I really liked them and I was excited to see them.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: But on the inside I was just really struggling personally.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I knew that something was wrong in terms of my job.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I just knew it wasn't the job for me anymore.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I was stressed about things at home.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I was stressed about things at home.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I was stressed about my marriage, just everything kind of felt like I needed to change.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: But I wasn't sure what types of changes I need to make and when.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: In fact, I just kind of felt overwhelmed about the whole thing.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I ended up leaving a day early because I just couldn't focus and I just needed a minute to myself.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So I flew back home, I checked into a hotel at home by myself for 24 hours and I knew my parents were watching my kids while I was out of town.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: So I knew that they were already covering my kids.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: And so I went to this hotel room with no intention to leave this hotel room, just to sit there and journal and try to figure out my life.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And I googled what book can I read to change my life?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: And this is the one that came up You're a Badass, by Jen Sincero.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And so I read that book and obviously I didn't walk out of that hotel room with a changed life.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: It took a lot of changes, a lot of Life coaching, therapy, meditation, all kinds of stuff that I did to actually really change my life.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: But this was the catalyst that got me thinking OK, this is possible.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And when she addressed that part that it wasn't my responsibility if other people freaked out about the changes that I was going to make, that helped me so much because I kept consistently thinking what will other people think if I get divorced?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: What will other people think if I change jobs and do this weird, quote unquote job of being a life coach, which is what I kind of knew I wanted to do, but I just couldn't admit it to myself.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Jen Sincero has a belief that we're all just born awesome and the only reason we're not awesome is when we think we're not.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: She's very big on self-love and self-confidence, so that was super helpful to me as well.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: And then the last one, because I felt like I was hanging out in this.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure what to do.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Should I do this, should I do that?
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: And she says that deciding is freedom and indecision is torture.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: And at that point in my life, I was totally in indecision.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: So if you feel like you're at a point in your life where you are in indecision, unable to decide about what to do with a situation, I see you.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I know how stressful that is.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I can absolutely help you get to the decision.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's a good idea to just make the decision to get yourself out of the discomfort of not deciding.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: You want to make sure it's the right one, but if you want to do that, I can absolutely help you.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Set up a free session with me if that's something that you want to talk about.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So set up a discovery session with me, if that is the place where you feel like you are right now.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: The link is in the show notes for that as well.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: All right, have a great rest of the day and if you're looking for a book to read or listen, to, check out, you Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, the audio book is really good too, because she's very funny and so she tells a lot of great stories and it's fun to listen to as well.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: See you soon.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about my work head over to my website at michellegothiercom.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: See you next week.