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167 - The Homefront with Mariia Pohoretska and Sergii Pogoretskyi · The Dr. Joe Show

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And that is for everyone.
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Everyone. Everyone is welcome.
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You notice that I did notice that, Mark.
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I modified the intro. You've noticed that.
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I did.
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And I think it's remarkably inclusive, which is great.
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That's what we are was a very inclusive show.
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That's right. That's what we do.
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Your book is doing ridicule. Lessly.
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Well, right now, it's making its way up the charts.
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Dr. Joe.
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Thank you, Mark.
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And it is I.
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I appreciate that a lot, because I really do think it's, it's so timely.
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We have so much going on in our world right now.
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We need something like this, and we need to remind each other
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about value instead of continuing to decrease each other's value.
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And then astonished, astonished at what happens
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which really, you know, gets us right into it.
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Tom, how are you doing?
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And then please do the introductions.
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Well, I won't waste our time, Dr. Joe.
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I'm doing relatively fine, and I will introduce our guests. Dr.
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Joe, your son Jason met our guests previously in their home country tonight.
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We have certainly Gretsky, a software engineer,
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and Maria Pritzker, a journalist, both from Ukraine.
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Yes. Yes.
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Thank you so much for being here tonight.
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Given everything that's happening in the world, this is very, very powerful.
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And I'm so appreciative for this.
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You know, I wonder whether you could just back up a little bit.
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Back a few years ago, Jason, my son was working at Medtronic,
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and he had come to Ukraine, I think, to do some training.
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How did you guys meet Jason?
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Had you met him before here in the States?
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Hi, everyone.
3:03
Yeah, so speaking.
3:05
So, yeah, like first I met Jason
3:09
in actually in office of my company.
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So he visited to transfer knowledge.
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Yeah.
3:18
And I meet him there.
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So like previously I had a conversation, but only online.
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But in Ukraine, I first met him.
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Yeah. And
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after that, like in the evening,
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we go for, for a dinner and my wife Maria joined the US.
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Yeah, that was there. Hi, I'm.
3:45
Hi, everyone.
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There was a Ukrainian restaurant in the middle in the downtown,
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and he was so amused with all the foods because it was a traditional one
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and he really liked that.
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I was like, I wasn't expecting that.
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Like next for the Ukrainian food.
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And there was, there was a bar.
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Like, obviously you cannot enter the meat in or without a glass or something.
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And that bar was really famous.
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It was huge.
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This is the best bar in Ukraine.
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It has its awards.
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And yeah, Jason was pretty shocked with the is great to have this
4:24
initial and honest
4:26
emotions from the person who came to see Ukraine.
4:30
For the first time and was shocked with this welcome.
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This because Ukrainians known for being welcomed
4:37
like welcome this to people yeah.
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Yeah.
4:41
And as a result
4:45
he introduced me to both of you when he was back here because he's
4:49
now left that particular company he's he's
4:53
in the Vanderbilt in Nashville.
4:57
But when he came back to Our Town, he said,
5:01
I want to really bring my friends down.
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And that's how we met.
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How did you wind up coming to the States
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because you'd been in obviously in Ukraine
5:14
for how long were you born there?
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It's home.
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Yeah.
5:20
So I'm 33 and the like for almost
5:25
32 years I lived in Ukraine
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and how we, you know.
5:35
Like before we get to that one,
5:37
why don't you just tell us about, tell us about Ukraine.
5:39
Tell us about your country
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I didn't talk about it.
5:45
I felt
5:48
I also was born in Kiev.
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My dad
5:53
his mother was born there also
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I was I graduated from university.
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I finished my school, university.
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All my teen youth was there.
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It's a warm country as if you can.
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But I was living in the capital in the city.
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So I only can speak
6:18
from my perspective, from my experience.
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I wasn't born in the region of the family,
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even not in the middle class.
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My mom
6:30
was like married with my dad
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after two or three months of knowing each other
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and they bought some kind of land and started building the house.
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And it was they've been doing it for seven years.
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Money comes, money goes.
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So it was something like ups and downs.
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So yeah, then we became a middle class and I like
6:57
know they they gave me all they could
7:00
within the possibilities
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that is why I think I'm
7:06
I became that down to earth person.
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I'm not expecting much, but all I can expect
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like what I usually
7:18
does not appreciation, but just one word thank you is enough for me.
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This is how usually in Ukraine people are really, like, welcoming.
7:26
They are good hosts they consider to be a hard working people.
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They sometimes overdo what they promised you.
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And for me, Ukraine is a free spirit.
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People with free spirit with their is.
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I'm only speaking from my experience who I met
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like I I'm not having
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a lot of friends like 40 plus something, but like mostly
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they are like my age and a little younger.
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And what I've seen is a free spirit challenge and
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not afraid to risk sometimes
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and helpful like you good to help.
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This is from my point of view
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like Ukraine also is a beautiful country.
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I'm like I was speaking about people but due to the country itself
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it's said Green
8:26
Day Nemec in the development
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it's a vibrant city is has it's dynamic
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and you see the changes really like it's does instills tense
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it's not always stable but usually it grows.
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So I would add that
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like last couple of years
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key and key and Ukraine
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developed a lot like outside
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and and inside I mean like people and
9:05
and infrastructure culture like
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all perspectives
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like economics
9:15
starting growth and it's helped to people
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travel like inside the inside the country
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like we have mountains on the west, we have sea on the south.
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It's like touristic places
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to have a great location
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to is also attracts
9:38
like a big city in Ukraine and
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it's relatively maybe cheap for foreigners
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and it's also like attracts like
9:49
and it has a good value for money.
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It's it's like beautiful city.
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We have like really a whole culture
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and was like good architecture, beautiful architecture.
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So like big cities like hierarchy in the east,
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the levy on the west, the cave center
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and the best sides like big major cities which is attracts
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a lot of tourists and actually a lot of business.
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So this is help to develop
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our country.
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Yeah, I lived in Kiev
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15 years before that.
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I lived in small small town
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yeah.
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Like I grow and grow there with
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my family was my older brother
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and yeah, it was like maybe Simple Life, but
10:56
I like
10:58
go to university and graduated and yes, thank you.
11:04
Sounds like an incredible country where you, you know, for,
11:09
for so many it sounds like not only the people are wonderful,
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but he really have an enormous value and all fair.
11:16
We were talking about not only how beautiful the country is but
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but what what it must be like now to wonder about it.
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You're here in the States, Mary.
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You were talking off back and you just tell our listeners
11:28
what you were just chatting about here.
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Yeah.
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As we came here in August last year. 21st
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we heard about the war when we were almost on a plane.
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We were going on to Colorado
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on a snow vacation trip.
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And this is
11:49
like you holding the phone and you are freaking out what is happening
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because your mother is sleeping, your father is still sleeping
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and your fiance is right in about explosions.
12:02
And I, I think I lost my mind until my mom like responded in
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four or 5 hours
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because she was sleeping like OK.
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She was probably like enough to feel all the nerves
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but I was still in, in the, in a break
12:23
that I cannot I want and I have this needed
12:27
is to come back to see my country that was it plan.
12:30
I told my husband that we need to stay here a year to adjust to everything.
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It will be our test to periods
12:40
for the USA to understand if we come earlier,
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we might feel the need to stay.
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But we like we are here.
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We need to accept everything is given by the universe.
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And I feel that I need to go back in summer to see my parents.
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It's like I must.
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And so he also kind of the same he supports,
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but I'm so afraid to see the suburbs and the city and the results of
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invasion.
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It's like
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well, I'm afraid of that.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I'm smiling.
13:21
But inside I'm. I'm just scared.
13:24
Yeah, OK.
13:27
Yeah, yeah.
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First of all, I want to see parents.
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My my brother and family,
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like, be first of all, we
13:39
we are located here, and
13:43
it's pretty long time.
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Like, for me, it's first time when I,
13:48
when I like
13:52
didn't see my family
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for maybe eight months or so. And
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and realizing that
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Ukraine is different right now.
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It's kind of hard.
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And and I want I want to come back when it would be safe
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and yeah, I want to see everything
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and help to restore that.
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As Sergei was telling.
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And so the country was developing and
14:28
being beautiful every day, more beautiful.
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Our president Zaleski was like he was making good stuff.
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He was restoring the bridges, the roads,
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building the schools and the kindergartens.
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And when you see the progress
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and then you are faced with the degree
14:56
decrease, if something needs to be like, I know how to prepare myself.
15:02
And maybe so you know the answer, we will know.
15:06
Maybe we will see it.
15:09
Are. You talking with people
15:11
on a daily basis that our home.
15:14
Yeah.
15:15
Yeah, I, I constantly talk with my brother.
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Currently he is in to his family.
15:23
I talk with my parents, with my mother and father.
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They stay at home.
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They don't want to leave any anywhere,
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so they they located like
15:36
200 kilometers to the west from from cape
15:40
to the lake in pretty safe
15:46
area right now. But you never know.
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A lot of
15:50
friends like we have apartment in Cape and be here
15:54
and our to the people who who stay like
15:58
actually our dentist. So
16:02
yeah.
16:02
And yeah, we constantly keep in touch with with people in Ukraine
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like every single day I ask asking
16:12
like everyone from my contact list
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like not all of them,
16:17
I mean every day but someone like
16:22
writing me or write I write them.
16:24
Yeah.
16:26
What are they doing?
16:28
Oh, they, they
16:32
a lot of friends actually in the forces right now.
16:35
Like,
16:37
I was like photographer
16:40
go to the forces and he like, like in a military.
16:46
So also my colleague
16:50
like I work
16:51
in a global logic company, which is international.
16:56
They have office in Ukraine. So and we have
17:01
this big project. So
17:04
one of, of member of my team
17:06
also in the military arrest of all try to first of all help
17:12
help militaries it's maybe the the
17:17
top of the least what you can do in say Ukraine
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so you you have help military
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how you can do like volunteering you
17:28
you you can do supplying you can do
17:32
like in
17:36
how because I've decided not to move back here
17:38
but like on a background you can you can help to do some like nets
17:45
which is masking like military stuff and yeah a lot of people doing that
17:51
so we constantly contributing to people who come home
17:55
we know like sending money to to
18:02
to help them buy
18:04
some supplies to do their job
18:07
which is like eventually comes to to the military
18:11
and like a lot of people
18:14
also trying to get back to routine like to normal life to
18:20
to start the economy working because if if
18:24
no one is like buying their coffee,
18:28
people who
18:29
selling their coffee wouldn't get money through yeah.
18:32
Yeah.
18:32
Like wouldn't take your money to even leave and exist.
18:36
So this is what I see.
18:40
And like
18:43
trending inside Ukraine, like,
18:45
people have to get back to routine
18:51
as fast as they can,
18:54
especially thinking about safety
18:57
because still
19:01
air raid
19:02
sirens still go in like almost every day.
19:06
And like I work like from my team on the
19:10
I work like team from from six people.
19:16
I work from from here
19:18
and rest of all over the Ukraine.
19:21
And during regular meeting,
19:25
someone can like and say, OK, we have sirens, I need to go to shelter.
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So this is how it's going right now.
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And in the
19:37
what I saw as I'm a part I was a part
19:42
of a running club in Ukraine
19:45
we had about one
19:48
120 120 people in the Met and we have this messenger
19:53
and there is a chat and I'll Kaj
19:57
she's the second person from Ukraine
20:00
and it is seven in overall current
20:04
six majors about marathons.
20:07
So she's like a huge
20:11
like huge name in Russian in Ukraine.
20:13
And she organized this volunteer team of 15 cars all of them like include
20:20
our running team and beat and also
20:24
of course the website for the nations
20:27
and they are buying drugs medicine
20:30
I mean they are buying the the
20:35
not guns but the fence are ammunition
20:40
they are buying groceries they are helping even the dogs
20:44
all people they are being drive
20:47
delivery guys they are being rescued team
20:51
a lot of duties and
20:52
when I read their charts and that chat and it seemed like 1000 messages
20:57
in a night first your heart pumps like something happens
21:01
but then there is like communication between them trying to find help
21:06
organizing manage and questions.
21:09
They became like we were a family,
21:12
but they became now a huge United Forces.
21:15
So Kiev like people there at some posts of forces
21:22
they call the territory and territory
21:25
that are on the territory fence
21:28
and they send you to check your passports and everything.
21:32
Now they are not even checking them because they know them, because they
21:35
usually come up with the food for them
21:38
and any kind of treats to help
21:43
so they most think that they
21:45
the time difference is the
21:48
with you, this is the thing where they struggle
21:51
because you see all that bunch of messages and you're like, oh, something happened.
21:55
But usually it is good that like everything is okay.
21:58
It just they are communication to solve the
22:03
the challenges they have every day.
22:05
Yeah.
22:06
Like first days we we can get to sleep until Ukraine
22:11
like woke up like we we we wait till 1 a.m.
22:17
and to like it's seven,
22:20
seven, 7 hours difference.
22:23
So we waiting until like
22:28
transparent start checking
22:30
that everything is okay and yeah.
22:34
But what changed recently I was the words
22:37
needed to like official and they know
22:42
charitable organizations.
22:45
But now I started to donate directly to the people who's
22:48
asking urgent help because due to all the
22:52
how to call bureaucracy of accepting money,
22:56
all the papers, all the paperwork, it's time
23:00
consuming process and especially in Ukraine.
23:05
But I say see the person
23:08
need to buy the protects
23:12
to remember the like.
23:14
Yeah, bullet proof defense tab straight away.
23:17
You are given it because you know that person usually
23:21
this is like the team of runners who is
23:24
who will share in the post of people needs and something really urgent
23:29
and your extra ahead like the left shelters of dogs
23:34
like they will left like hundreds of them you are given for the food for them
23:40
or like they the the coach like Mary she was gathering to buy car in three days
23:46
she has three cars like like like this you know the yeah.
23:51
How how are they doing that.
23:52
How can folks contribute directly like that.
23:55
It is like you know this and maybe like you maybe can be acquainted
24:00
with the president with the five shake shake their handshakes
24:04
like there is some kind of a person though a person that a person know
24:08
another person and it goes to the person that, oh, I can help.
24:12
And usually it is like that.
24:14
And usually in the run in community, a lot of intrapreneurs, a lot of people
24:19
from the fitness and sports or athletic
24:23
sphere, a lot of i.t workers,
24:28
young people,
24:29
devoted water people and loyal people, they try to help.
24:32
Are they go to find me type of say like
24:36
how are they actually transacting how does someone who's listening
24:40
to this show and says, I want to I want to make an immediate impact.
24:44
How are they finding those sites and
24:48
and delivering funds to those people.
24:52
So this is like, you know, I'm making these funds because.
24:57
Yeah, because I know that person usually and
25:00
I know she is reliable or they are reliable.
25:04
But what I did I usually gave the money
25:07
to the website that created my coach
25:10
and I know that there's money
25:13
in the next day will have the result she use it.
25:17
She's chose everything on pictures.
25:20
Yeah.
25:20
Instagram and stories like this like the odds.
25:24
It goes with the numbers and with pictures and yeah.
25:30
For you folks from there and for the people who are still there.
25:35
Did you anticipate this
25:37
from Russia Putin or was it as much of a surprise
25:42
as it was to a lot of us over here
25:45
that he actually is doing what he's doing?
25:49
So I would say
25:51
like maybe one or two weeks before
25:55
people like no one believes that it would happen.
26:00
But in the meantime,
26:03
it all started to be prepare like
26:10
old people starting to research,
26:12
like what to do, like to have
26:16
an emergency suitcase which can be.
26:21
Yeah, emergency kit and suitcase,
26:23
like if you need to leave like immediately,
26:27
like was all essential stuff
26:31
like to be prepared with no fuel for a car.
26:36
Like your brother.
26:37
He said he heard in, what, five, 4 a.m.
26:41
in the morning the the missiles or bombs,
26:45
the words in the sea.
26:48
That was quick.
26:49
They gathered the stuff children you have to
26:53
stargaze godfather to his children
26:56
and to children and their backpacks and this they rent from their home
27:00
the same are like another like children
27:03
like the family where somebody else godfather to the children.
27:08
Yeah so so what time
27:11
talking that I two weeks
27:14
before they no one believes but everyone tried to prepare
27:18
as much as they can and maybe like people people leave
27:24
like live normal life like people
27:28
people planning like flights and so on.
27:32
People really didn't expect that it would happens
27:36
like on the on the fourth 24th of February
27:40
so yeah like someone said
27:44
like OK we, we will have a flight like tomorrow.
27:47
And what happened like what yeah.
27:51
Like people didn't really, really expect like that.
27:57
You know, I, I
27:59
so appreciate again you being here because it's such an important message.
28:04
It's so important that
28:07
we take so much for granted here in the United States.
28:12
We really do.
28:13
And yet there is always this threat
28:17
that something can happen unless we change our attitude.
28:24
You know, this is this is part of unfortunately who we are as human beings.
28:30
We've spent millennia
28:31
increasing our value by decreasing somebody else's.
28:35
It was the first time I'm so I'm
28:37
so sorry that you're telling about all this.
28:40
And we felt this with Sergei the first week or ten days,
28:45
like we were feeling guilty of being here not hearing this parents,
28:50
not feeling the missile, not hearing the common missiles,
28:55
not hides in the dungeon, in the shelters,
28:58
I was feeling guilt of eating foods
29:02
when somebody didn't have sleeping in my bed.
29:06
And that was
29:08
a little hints.
29:09
When you feel that, is it a depression coming to you right now or like what?
29:14
What is next?
29:15
What is happening with our what to do?
29:18
And do you underestimate every help you are doing
29:21
and even you think it is small, like even
29:24
given money, given the information or something you don't know.
29:27
It's like you think that this is nothing because you are not there.
29:33
And. That's all they want to share.
29:36
No, it's it's I appreciate that
29:39
that honesty
29:43
and yet that's Survivor.
29:45
That's like a survivor guilt, right, doctor Joe?
29:48
Yeah.
29:49
Yeah, it is.
29:50
It's like a survivor guilt what?
29:53
Are you all surprised that other countries haven't come in and helped?
29:58
I was surprised about this story from my friend's Ukrainian.
30:03
She recently got the birth of her child, gave the birth,
30:07
and she heard about the nurse
30:10
that usually was with her, but she was X and she was asking what happened?
30:14
And she was told that the nurse by her old means, without any help of
30:20
the know of any organization, went
30:23
to Ukraine to help Ukrainians in hospitals.
30:27
For me, I'm telling all, my God,
30:30
why am I getting goose bumps?
30:33
Yeah, goose bumps.
30:35
Because you are like, how?
30:37
Like Raul and I'm it's not the first story I hear
30:41
about the military people, about the medical here,
30:47
about even
30:48
not in Ukraine, but on the borders to help to welcome
30:52
the immigrants in the rescue people like.
30:57
Oh I would say that I surprised a lot like from my perspective
31:03
and what I heard that how Poland was welcome
31:08
and and we really like in our company
31:12
we have office in Poland and
31:15
people like coworkers they willing to help
31:21
even to like host people from Ukraine
31:25
like they asking how we can help in cross like minutes when it started.
31:31
And yeah, like
31:35
and I,
31:36
I know that a lot of like oh like Romania.
31:41
What like all, not all.
31:43
Maybe Poland, Slovakia
31:47
or Romania.
31:48
Moldova, so they, they all like connected
31:52
with Ukraine by border and
31:57
you can go and cross the border and then you immediately get the help.
32:02
So people just arriving with a car and transport
32:07
waiting to like the nearest hotel or maybe like to two
32:11
final destination hotels where we come and yeah.
32:16
Free of charge like hosting people like refugees from Ukraine.
32:22
Also like
32:23
big support even here, not on level of country,
32:27
like even tourist based people who realized that we from Ukraine,
32:33
they was so, so welcome and so like with
32:39
and like it was.
32:41
This empathize.
32:43
Yeah. So
32:45
they even helped like
32:48
and like simple thing to me we we go to breakfast
32:52
like on the second or third day and people of that kafir
32:58
like get their money and pay for our breakfast
33:03
and we just take this money and donate it to them like, like this.
33:08
And we do not spend for, for food money, but we just transfer those money to, to.
33:13
Correct. Yeah.
33:14
And there is a lot of support here I like, not as I say, not on an on country level
33:21
on the like day to day conversation. Or
33:26
interaction with other people
33:34
because.
33:35
Even though my mother in Poland Universal
33:38
and she's not paying for her flat, it is it has been the third month, I guess.
33:45
Yeah. I mean.
33:46
She's not paid for transportation.
33:48
She just show her passport with a stamp and that's it.
33:53
I mean, that is part of who we are as human beings as well.
33:57
You know, it's there's the dark side.
34:00
Absolutely.
34:01
But there is this this sense of compassion, of belonging, of inclusion.
34:09
That is also who we are as human beings.
34:13
And then we're confronted with this
34:16
this limbic side of us, this
34:18
this aggressive side, as if somehow
34:21
if we don't do that, we're not going to survive.
34:25
It's just it is part of who we are.
34:27
It's an am, but we don't have to like it.
34:30
We don't have to condone it.
34:32
We need to understand it.
34:34
We can do something different
34:35
and we have to do something different with this.
34:39
This way of being will destroy all of us.
34:42
So how can we help?
34:43
Mary, you were
34:44
you were a mute for a moment there, but I know you were saying something.
34:46
What were you trying to say?
34:48
Yeah, I was trying to say and encourage people
34:54
with a say.
34:55
And every help is a help you don't underestimate.
34:59
Even friends told me, like when you said hello and ask
35:04
how I was, and it already something for me.
35:08
It's refocused my mind from what is happening there.
35:12
Until you and you're alive.
35:14
And I tried to cheer up
35:18
to to just have a person for a minute away with her minds.
35:22
It is already a help.
35:25
I know
35:25
people are tired in some kind of English
35:29
speaking claps for Ukrainians and also free of charge.
35:34
They are like connecting and asking who to help.
35:38
I was trying to help from here with
35:44
UNICEF department
35:46
who is supporting the breastfeeding in unusual circumstances.
35:52
And I was translated articles from English to Ukrainian international language
35:58
in order to make also some kind of help.
36:02
And then they asked me whether I know any woman
36:06
who is breastfeeding right now in the moment in the shelter.
36:11
And I'm like, Yeah, I know one she's in the shelter with two babies in
36:14
Kharkiv during all their horrible times.
36:18
They are.
36:19
And I connected and I think she was from Canada,
36:23
Canadian journalist with the girl,
36:26
and they did came out with the article
36:29
and it was goosebumps again again, it was the same feeling.
36:34
Any help is a help
36:37
be like, you
36:39
know, what is this the power of it but it is it is a huge thing.
36:45
Now first we as I said, I felt so guilty of being here.
36:49
But then I came back to routine even making some posts and Instagram of
36:54
just like here and girls of my running club were telling me, Maria, thank you.
37:00
You will have these, like, really focused on us a little.
37:04
And remind us, why are we fighting for the life itself?
37:10
You know, usually we wait
37:13
until the end of the show to talk about the to choose of the I am
37:17
you know we are all influenced by four domains are home domain
37:21
social domain biological and the I see how I see myself politics
37:25
other people see me we're talking a lot about your home domain of Ukraine
37:30
and how you are here in a different home domain
37:34
the social domain also with the United States.
37:37
But because the domains interact,
37:38
a small change can have a big impact you don't need to change everything.
37:42
I want to spend a few minutes talking about these small changes.
37:46
So here Sergei,
37:48
what small change can you recommend to our listeners?
37:52
How can we make a small change
37:54
that can have an effect
37:58
so again, you want to start?
38:00
Yeah, I can start.
38:02
Maybe I have maybe I can quickly answer
38:06
to previous question how people can help.
38:10
So maybe the first step, if you have possibility
38:14
and you know someone from Ukraine, you can ask how you can directly donate
38:20
if you have no such possibilities.
38:22
There is like aggregator like photos
38:27
of different
38:29
items to
38:31
it's like help to Ukraine that or some flower piece
38:37
or some flower piece that. Com.
38:40
Yeah and a Razan for you are awesome for Ukraine.
38:45
So there's all sides if you hear or see
38:49
it also go to to explore and donate like that.
38:53
Yeah so.
38:55
We we will post all those sites on our
38:58
on our website we will yes all of those so.
39:01
And and answering for your question what small changes
39:06
can have big effect.
39:08
So I would say it's sustainability or to be sustainable
39:12
to to to maintain
39:16
that level of of your
39:21
today life constantly improving this to be
39:25
to be consistent
39:30
yeah like that.
39:32
Where you're going from this small changes can have big effects.
39:36
What small change can you recommend to our listeners.
39:39
And I was reading the article on your website first I was thinking
39:45
directly about small changes small baby steps in know
39:49
when yourself by exploring the world.
39:53
But then I understood
39:54
this is more like an influence I might the second question to answer
39:58
and I thought about also this butterfly effect
40:03
when they say that with their
40:05
vines from a butterfly wins, there can be somewhere else.
40:10
And I mean like the small changes
40:13
change that you might know like this, a small change
40:16
for you, small steps or worse
40:19
might be a huge step for somebody
40:25
for me it is usually to say nice things to be kind.
40:30
For me, this is it's non-profitable.
40:34
It's not a charity for me, is it, to say a compliment
40:37
for a person if I see something I like
40:40
and for then I heard from that person that was acquaintance of mine.
40:45
She said, You made my day.
40:46
I was smiling under.
40:48
I try
40:50
to give small good things for the people to,
40:56
especially when it's unexpected
40:59
and especially when you do not wait anything in return.
41:04
Usually people not used to have small present.
41:07
This is what I like, especially when they enter the house for the first time
41:11
or I'm go in the place where I see that I know there will be children.
41:17
This is, this is I say my thing to have something small for people.
41:22
Either words or some small gifts, but it make them smile.
41:28
Yeah.
41:28
And and that leads to the second truth.
41:31
You control no one.
41:32
You influence everyone you get to choose the kind of influence you want to be.
41:35
And that is exactly what the I am is a power
41:40
at every
41:40
in any moment in time, you can remind someone of their value
41:44
and whenever you do that, you increase your own value.
41:46
That's what I hope we can all do.
41:49
But what kind of influence do you want to be?
41:51
I mean, I'm hearing you, Maria and Sergei.
41:55
What kind of influence, if you want to be right now.
41:59
So again, I'll start with you.
42:03
So I'm a big fan of of empathy.
42:07
So I want to
42:11
I want people to think about
42:15
how like how other people
42:21
can can feeling
42:24
or can like what's going on with other people.
42:27
So like to think about attitude for
42:33
for other people
42:36
maybe I don't know how to say it properly,
42:38
but Empathies would be my
42:42
my best he to if I can, I would share.
42:45
But even maybe more understand and spread
42:50
but to to have
42:54
big heart and
42:59
and feel
43:00
this like how other people are feeling.
43:04
And how would you apply that
43:07
how do we apply that right now
43:11
given what's happening with Ukraine?
43:14
How can we be.
43:17
Like talking and check and check the sources?
43:21
Yeah, I notice.
43:22
It's not not everything.
43:25
What what you can can hear or read can be true.
43:31
You need to double check
43:33
really.
43:34
You control no one.
43:35
You influence everyone think you've told us a
43:37
little bit, but what kind of influence do you want to be.
43:43
I think what I've called here
43:47
and what I'm still feeling
43:50
is when a judge one person or actions for another person.
43:55
It is my point of view because I still have here
44:01
some friends from Russia and one good girl
44:05
wrote me on the third day of war.
44:09
Sure.
44:10
Empathy and who devotion to my country.
44:14
And I thank you for that I hope huge gratitude, appreciation
44:19
and she was telling me next text was I was so afraid to write to
44:24
I was sure you will decline me because she was already declined by some
44:32
and again goosebumps and
44:36
this is what I can now say to my people to my friends
44:41
they are because they feel full aggression
44:44
they feel hatred towards mostly every Russian.
44:50
They they do not watch Russian blogs anymore.
44:54
They do not follow Russian culture media
44:59
the singers music
45:04
it's for me, it's scary
45:06
because here I still have friends
45:10
and all of them during the first two weeks or for
45:14
wrote to me about 20 or 25 people, mostly of them.
45:18
They've been living here for some time
45:21
and a lot of them told me that know they were afraid to write me
45:25
because a lot of people who really already refused to speak with them,
45:30
this is I think the same something we need to work on.
45:36
Such an important point.
45:37
We cannot be lawmakers and just lump everybody in.
45:41
There are some people and many people
45:45
that we still respect and value and trust.
45:49
Maria and Sergei, thank you
45:50
so much for being here tonight and sharing this with the Dr.
45:53
Joe Show listeners. Thank you.
45:56
Thank you for having us.
45:57
And please donate. Donate.
46:00
Go, go, go, go, go.
46:02
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.