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Sober Talk SA - Frog · Sober Talk SA

• 0:00
  Hi and my name's Frogg, but I'm Alcoholics.
• 0:02
  Yeah, well, I'll start around off my age.
• 0:05
  I'm 39 years older. I've had a bit of sample
• 0:10
  drinking in my life. Driving on.
• 0:12
  I used to thought I was a binge drinker and I'd do the next
• 0:15
  thing you know, I would think suddenly and then I would smoke
• 0:19
  by more drilling drug, you know, right.
• 0:22
  Alcohol has always been a big part of my life at running the
• 0:24
  family while I'm parents growing up sets more.
• 0:28
  So you're just going to be like your father.
• 0:30
  And I thought, oh, yeah, cool. I want to be like my dad.
• 0:32
  You know, he was well populated and everyone liked me.
• 0:35
  But little did I know that I was going to tell you how to be an
• 0:38
  alcoholic. And at first I didn't know what
• 0:40
  an alcoholic was. And I was young.
• 0:43
  It's just later on here, lastly, I've realized, you know what
• 0:47
  it's like. They've asked the doctor and the
• 0:50
  doctor and that would say, oh, we'll give you this stuff that
• 0:53
  might help you. The doctor doesn't know what
• 0:56
  what? Whatever I like.
• 0:58
  Yeah. And the only way you know about
• 0:59
  the difference between an alcoholic and a non alcoholic
• 1:02
  was alcoholic star. What Alcoholics are like.
• 1:04
  We all share the same traits, you know.
• 1:07
  So yeah, I was young. I've kicked out of eye when I
• 1:11
  was like 12 years old because like I said, and my parents used
• 1:14
  to tell me I was just like my father lost my father was an A
• 1:18
  was a abusive drunks used to always attack my mums and my
• 1:23
  mum, my brothers sisters were all packed up and left, left
• 1:27
  mistake. And while I was like 12 years
• 1:30
  old and my mother was telling me so listen to be like your dad
• 1:34
  because, you know, every Christmas time we'd all have a
• 1:37
  drink. And I've just not drinking that
• 1:39
  alone. I'll be going around to all the
• 1:42
  all the empty. I'm just getting the drinks, you
• 1:44
  know, doing as much as I can and going to bed, waking up feeling
• 1:49
  a little bit groggy still. So then there's some, you know,
• 1:52
  I am left home, so that'll be all right in my own world.
• 1:56
  Well, I wasn't because I wasn't drinking as much.
• 2:00
  But like I said at the start, I turned into the drugs and that
• 2:04
  wasn't a lot to live. I knew the drugs for various
• 2:07
  amount of names on and off, as well as still drinking.
• 2:11
  And then, you know, it got me in a lot of trouble and I was a bit
• 2:15
  of a Walker zuckling orders on. People would say no, but you
• 2:19
  know, I used to get off on the fear saying fear in people's
• 2:22
  eyes. No, but I think 1617, I thought
• 2:26
  that was cool, you know, but I didn't realize until later on in
• 2:31
  in life. So I'll tell you a bit about
• 2:32
  that later on. Yeah.
• 2:34
  So I just thought it was cool. Everyone was scared and all.
• 2:39
  I was a lot for the party with with without the Blues.
• 2:43
  I was a real nice person. I'll take my own shirt off my
• 2:47
  back to give to someone else just to make sure they're happy.
• 2:49
  You know, I live in this little country town so there were a lot
• 2:53
  of things to the elderly, you know, and that was my pleasure,
• 2:56
  you know, like I go there and help them.
• 2:58
  But little did the elderly people know that I'd already
• 3:02
  have 66 beers be before he left. And what the hell got you known?
• 3:06
  Well, that's what happens in my alcoholism.
• 3:09
  It's a disease that I didn't really know until I got I'm a
• 3:12
  little bit older, like I'm talking 20 years older.
• 3:15
  So I realised that I had the disease is that a doctor could
• 3:18
  help me, you know. So yeah, it was this up and down
• 3:24
  all my life, in and out of, in and out of the cells, fighting
• 3:29
  junkets early. And I'd always black out and
• 3:31
  they'd come silver. I'd say what have I done?
• 3:34
  You know, because, you know, without them, without being so
• 3:38
  drunk, like I said, I was the hide.
• 3:39
  I was like real shy. I was very timid, I thought real
• 3:43
  bad anxiety and stuff like that, you know.
• 3:46
  So it's kind of mixed that up with the alcohol and then, you
• 3:50
  know, Christmas on birthdays with Tyler, I was rearing them.
• 3:55
  I remember one day going out with my real good done real
• 3:58
  good, matem. One day we went away for
• 4:00
  Christmas one year and you know the same thing started drinking
• 4:03
  the crack of the oil I've always hadn't had for years.
• 4:06
  And now I've it just something looked at me funny, you know,
• 4:10
  and they barely. I just got blacked out and just
• 4:14
  attacked him. You know I'll never while I come
• 4:16
  through the police were there and I had to get taken out.
• 4:19
  Rd. ticked down the road out of the Chairman park and I run with
• 4:24
  mates. Everybody man just had nothing
• 4:26
  with my best mate. I'm not the at the mood to the
• 4:30
  police station going to come and get me.
• 4:32
  He's been drinking. He's like, sorry frog, I can't
• 4:35
  so only had a little bit of money and I was like, sorry out
• 4:39
  what I would do like I've only got 120 bucks and the standard
• 4:43
  my cell was well, it's $100 and what what am I going to do is I
• 4:47
  spend 100 bucks in the motel. I'm not going to have any dress.
• 4:51
  So what did I do? I said yeah, to replace the
• 4:54
  officer that I was in charge to look let me go.
• 4:56
  I said, yeah, I'm going to go straight to Michelle.
• 4:59
  Thank God you didn't dull look for me at the at the motel
• 5:01
  because also now I was down, down underneath the merch.
• 5:05
  Gee, suck, I guess. And then the next day it was it
• 5:09
  was like Christmas Day. I am sure sorry for myself, you
• 5:12
  know, like we always are. There's only so many times you
• 5:15
  can say sorry to people. So it's just a word.
• 5:18
  You know, sorry for this, sorry for that.
• 5:21
  I've been saying sorry for my whole life to people, you know,
• 5:25
  and towards the end of it, well, what is saying sorry for you?
• 5:29
  You know, actually sorry I said no, I am.
• 5:31
  Oh, so I'm sorry. I want to do it again.
• 5:33
  And they're like, oh, then no worries.
• 5:36
  So that so that Christmas and went blind six first guy down
• 5:40
  the tracking would I always said I was always drinking and then
• 5:44
  mate's like, fuck, you gotta come around for a body.
• 5:46
  You haven't been drinking too much, have you in the no, no,
• 5:50
  it's it's you know what I'm saying?
• 5:52
  Like he's like, yeah, you're you're you're not even sick.
• 5:54
  So it's 12:00 said yeah, I'm not trying to cut back.
• 5:57
  And well, you know, I'm not trying to cut back.
• 5:59
  I was lying to him. No, I was he's already he's just
• 6:02
  like real good laying on. So I didn't want to let him know
• 6:05
  because I've already drunk in half a car and he picked me up
• 6:07
  and he's like, hope you're going to be right.
• 6:09
  So hot frog, because I've got all my mates.
• 6:10
  So it's my own 40th birthday. Yeah, Yeah, I'll be right later.
• 6:14
  Did you know that? No, I was, I was actually good.
• 6:16
  So the next morning I stayed over there.
• 6:18
  I I woke up to his life. So what?
• 6:21
  After a while I said, hey, what happened last night was off.
• 6:25
  So to do anything wrong, it's like mine.
• 6:26
  You're us, you're a bloody Angel.
• 6:30
  So it's I don't miss babe all the time.
• 6:33
  It's already in it, but I was, you know what, yelling us off
• 6:36
  the rails house and oh, what did I do?
• 6:38
  He's like 01 of my friends looked at you funny and I could
• 6:41
  just see your eyes go go right in the back.
• 6:43
  You heard him. But as you know, like you don't
• 6:45
  remember it, you know, when you're blackout because I was
• 6:47
  always going to blackouts. They went on for a little bit
• 6:50
  and you know, I moved up to the Riverland and the best time I
• 6:55
  lost my house was on the river. You know, it was right on the
• 6:58
  element, it seems to old people in the in the neighborhood, you
• 7:03
  know, so like I said before the start that I used to help out
• 7:07
  the elderly people used to give me pleasure knowing that if I
• 7:12
  could help that old person because I can't do it anymore.
• 7:16
  Hopefully the today's generation, when I get old,
• 7:18
  they'll come and return the phaser.
• 7:20
  You know, I don't know, after today's generation always on
• 7:23
  their on their phone. So it's a bit hard to tell.
• 7:26
  And hopefully, you know, you never know.
• 7:27
  You're just going to put your face in and I'm gone.
• 7:30
  You know, then that's right. It's just, it's the Lord.
• 7:33
  They're cancerous, those God, your higher power, whatever you
• 7:37
  want to start believing. But for my journey, it's been
• 7:41
  the Lord. No, I since I opened up to the
• 7:44
  Lords, the best thing I've ever done.
• 7:47
  But before that I was drinking at home.
• 7:50
  It was my birthday. And when it's your birthday, you
• 7:53
  know, I heard that gives you no excuse to party all weekend.
• 7:56
  My birthday was on the Monday and every day after that my old
• 8:01
  friends would come up from Adelaide that up up up to
• 8:04
  Blanchetown, my own little country town where I live.
• 8:07
  So that was another excuse. Last week my mother mate's
• 8:09
  coming on to get on, get on the young booze there.
• 8:12
  Yeah. All right, we'll go on some lots
• 8:15
  away. I wouldn't even sleep.
• 8:16
  I was like drinking myself sober that week.
• 8:18
  Then you guys popping pills and then I got phone calls.
• 8:22
  My never had passed away and you know well then it was a big part
• 8:26
  of my life. Like I said earlier, my mom
• 8:29
  kicked me out of home when I was 12 years old, put me on the
• 8:31
  street that always had the door open, even when I was drunk,
• 8:36
  even when I was driving. She said to me because my name's
• 8:38
  actually Pete, but everyone calls me frogs.
• 8:40
  She's like little Pete. You know that stuff's going to
• 8:43
  kill you one day, but I'm not telling you what you're trying
• 8:46
  to can't do, but I'm just letting you know one day that
• 8:48
  will kill you guys. She done didn't know that I was
• 8:51
  drinking excess amount of alcohol either, and I said to
• 8:54
  her before she passed, I said, Nella, I've actually tried more.
• 8:58
  I've actually turned mummy to fall blood Alcoholics.
• 9:02
  But like mum's mum always said, I was just like my dad, So my as
• 9:05
  well be like my dad. The sad thing is Nella, the
• 9:08
  traits in my father were coming out of me.
• 9:11
  Like I said, little peaks, you do what she wants.
• 9:14
  I can't tell you what you cannot cannot do, but the doors always
• 9:17
  open and that's a big part of my life.
• 9:20
  You know, when I was growing up was I was young and naive, five
• 9:23
  years old, picked on the streets and my parents didn't want
• 9:25
  nothing to do with me. My dad, you know what stepped
• 9:28
  down, skipped States and I didn't know where he was and all
• 9:31
  that. So that person I really had was
• 9:34
  my nada. And yeah, after I sure that week
• 9:37
  when I was party for my birthday, I got a phone call for
• 9:40
  my cousin. My dad had passed away.
• 9:42
  It really hit me hard, you know, like I thought, Oh my God, I've
• 9:47
  lost my data. What's there to live for?
• 9:49
  And you know, that went through my mind because I suffer mental
• 9:52
  health as well. That went through my mind so
• 9:55
  bad, thought I was going to end it, you know, running up the
• 9:59
  little thing in my back of my mind.
• 10:01
  Still to this day, I wonder why I didn't go through.
• 10:04
  Was it suppose I've got to say my son's now 20 years old.
• 10:08
  How could I leave him by himself?
• 10:10
  That's what I that's, that's what stopped me from doing up
• 10:12
  that day. So I got through the next couple
• 10:14
  of days. I was still drinking and then my
• 10:17
  mate I left. I was skating with my mate and I
• 10:19
  was down by the campfire enjoying my night.
• 10:23
  By by this time I'd beat up all week open pills, drinking.
• 10:29
  I was about psychosis mess and my and my mate at the time was
• 10:34
  upstairs. He wasn't feeling feeling well
• 10:36
  at all. So I've got upstairs about 11:30
• 10:38
  at night. I'm going to go and make a feel
• 10:40
  like all like all this. Do you know I would be try to
• 10:43
  get some to get that's what I mean.
• 10:45
  So I've cooked a feed and I've been a bit rude and I'm not just
• 10:49
  like you do when you're on the cruise and you lay out and just
• 10:53
  don't care about no one. You just care about yourself.
• 10:57
  Yeah, things actually went really bad that night.
• 11:00
  I've only black. I have blacked out and went into
• 11:05
  a slight posters actually stabbed my friend.
• 11:08
  Yeah, I will never ever do that dummy, so that that that nice
• 11:13
  rubber set I'd stack my friend. What do I yell when I come
• 11:17
  through asking my blackout. I was sitting laying there on
• 11:20
  the ground. I was like I'm not bored.
• 11:22
  What have I done? A friend of the tiles on the
• 11:24
  face of the yet and said from just just go away.
• 11:27
  Yes, you stabbed your friend. He was a real good mate of mine.
• 11:31
  He did deserve it and there I was getting those things and you
• 11:35
  get on No, how am I going to check this one?
• 11:37
  I'm not going to fix this. Then the police rocker and the
• 11:40
  local copper I blast out told me just go sit over there frobs.
• 11:46
  You know what are you calm? I said yells I'm I was calm.
• 11:49
  I went He's got the bottle saying no balls are blows.
• 11:51
  So I didn't lock my balls for lick it all up.
• 11:54
  You know, look up his blood. That's how that's how much of A
• 11:57
  psychosis I was in. So I sit down and get my breath.
• 12:00
  Excellent. I all these bleach walk up the
• 12:02
  ambulance. I got the jump start on him.
• 12:04
  He ended up dying because he lost so much blood.
• 12:07
  So I believe that was Dave with some blood and there goes me.
• 12:12
  We're back back in the police car.
• 12:14
  They took me to very young, very hospitals because I'm out of the
• 12:19
  legal health fact. They assessed me and said it
• 12:22
  should be right. So I was about two hours in the
• 12:25
  at the hospital. They take me to Berry shells.
• 12:29
  I sat there for three days, finally come through on the
• 12:33
  Sunday and I had to sit in front of the judge on the phone and
• 12:36
  they're down. Police officer is waiting out to
• 12:38
  the stating that of the charges. Hey, Duff, you had been charged
• 12:43
  with attempted murder. I'm like, you know, Wayne, man,
• 12:46
  I didn't do that. And like you did, mate, they
• 12:49
  should remember I'm stabbing now.
• 12:50
  I'm in your friends. I'm like, no, I blacked out.
• 12:54
  I didn't know what happened. He's like, yeah, you did.
• 12:56
  And you're not going over this time.
• 12:59
  The way I'm backed out once before, I attacked someone else
• 13:02
  in the town and only had to go away to my auntie's house for
• 13:05
  six months. Then I was allowed back home.
• 13:08
  I still will never forget Karistai. 3 1/2 years later he's
• 13:13
  off going home, something that I'm thrilled.
• 13:15
  Like no it wasn't. Hell, I'm supposed to fly
• 13:19
  actually going to Queensland tomorrow.
• 13:21
  Well, I've got my Australian, like I said, and it wasn't my
• 13:23
  idol, man. I was slashed, his arm resting
• 13:26
  up there in peace. My, my heart.
• 13:28
  I was looking and I thank him for every single day.
• 13:32
  He just carried me through. So I went to jail for 3 1/2
• 13:35
  years. You're going to be of trouble in
• 13:37
  there as as you do you better no fight deployed.
• 13:41
  You know let someone stand over here then and stand over each of
• 13:44
  the holes not prison sentence. So end up getting a couple of
• 13:48
  arduous people never ever some start to let anyone again.
• 13:53
  You know I'm going to a couple of fights for that since I was a
• 13:55
  joke I was in control. I will defend myself.
• 13:59
  I'm there two years going boring.
• 14:02
  Someone was telling me, Oh, you know, that there's an A a man
• 14:06
  meeting for president. Well, what was I had?
• 14:10
  You know what didn't they know what it was about?
• 14:12
  You know, like I was I got Alcoholics and only that's like
• 14:15
  gala 2 years trial. Then I didn't really know what
• 14:19
  what the gig was about. So then that's you know, I was
• 14:21
  like got out of got out of the little sly that was in and
• 14:28
  there's all yet they ain't meeting every Monday at 12:30.
• 14:31
  Oh my God, shut this down. You know, so I went checked it
• 14:35
  out and there was a plot there. Same with Henry, who used to
• 14:40
  always run the medium. I was always to go there.
• 14:42
  But so that was truth. When I went there, I wasn't a
• 14:45
  hundred 100% admitted to it. The robot told us you go there,
• 14:49
  it all looked good for you for parole.
• 14:51
  So I sort of knew what a a was about, but I didn't get it that
• 14:55
  110% and that you go, I didn't follow all of the steps, get
• 14:59
  here and addicted. I was power.
• 15:00
  So the alcohol if I just wet there just doesn't look good.
• 15:03
  So I'm in the home rock I said 3 1/2 years ago by you know I am
• 15:09
  finally got released. I never thought I was going No,
• 15:11
  because they've knocked back fine day.
• 15:14
  They knocked back for all had to wait on 6th wants to go and see
• 15:18
  him when they knocked back up always.
• 15:20
  They'll still stay up the Riverland.
• 15:22
  No, it's not You're not staying up up here.
• 15:25
  You know from the Saturday that you're not staying up the
• 15:28
  Riverland with where it isn't. There's some not big, big, but
• 15:32
  it's big enough. There's a al fair few cows.
• 15:34
  So just that one incident has taken my my reputation up in the
• 15:39
  Riverhead and I love the river. No.
• 15:41
  So I got the news on and all that back up there.
• 15:44
  So I went through a bad depression and balance that at
• 15:48
  this time, you know, so I knew there was a church at the
• 15:54
  prison. So I've started going to church,
• 15:57
  but actually enjoyed listening to the gospel of something about
• 16:01
  God. I thought I'm sure you forgive
• 16:03
  me for what I've done somebody I've got to give people now I
• 16:07
  get about 110% time to the Lord. I've got Christian desert now I
• 16:14
  am a reformed Christian since being in Christian I have I'm
• 16:19
  baptized as I'm Christian. So I live by the Lord every day.
• 16:23
  He's my saga. I am a child of God.
• 16:27
  So be your higher power. You have a better belief in God.
• 16:29
  Be so whatever you believe. But in my journey, I am a child
• 16:34
  of God. Now we'll get back to his.
• 16:35
  Something about AA, So I get believed around in the community
• 16:41
  and the boys that I said earlier that ran the AA meetings up at
• 16:46
  Jill Training Center. That's a legendary prison.
• 16:48
  His name was Haggering Click from day one, you know, we were
• 16:53
  always clicked for day one one. But like when he shed his share
• 16:57
  and I shared my share after the leading was like, now I've got
• 17:01
  so many traits exactly like you, you know, related to the Jekyll
• 17:05
  and Hyde, like I said earlier and getting off on the fear of
• 17:08
  people one day. But then when I'm not drunk, I'm
• 17:11
  a lovely hearing person. So I'll go.
• 17:13
  I'm just tired and I'm like, we just why?
• 17:16
  After I got out of prison, I've been busy, I said to my own
• 17:21
  support worker, So then can you help me out?
• 17:23
  It's like, what's it I'll say I want to go to Alcoplex in my
• 17:26
  rooms. I'm ready to give it 510%.
• 17:30
  Said I've been through a couple meetings before in prison,
• 17:32
  right? I never gave it any decent
• 17:36
  thought. So my worker says, all right,
• 17:38
  Peter, there's one just down the road in Dover and Park.
• 17:41
  It's seriously it. It starts at 1:00.
• 17:45
  But yeah, no worries. So rolled on.
• 17:47
  I've got a number from somewhere.
• 17:49
  Rang Sarah. I'll run, Sarah, this time I'll
• 17:52
  send you this before Saturday. And I said, Sarah, they won't
• 17:56
  give me graduates for the meeting in Denver Park.
• 17:59
  Yeah, of course, Of course. What's your name?
• 18:01
  I said yeah, my name's. Hey, everyone calls me Frog.
• 18:05
  What time did you manage that? Tell me where it started.
• 18:08
  Yeah, I'll be there in that weeks, but I'll call it past.
• 18:12
  So I wasn't ready to go yet, you know, I had to sit home and, you
• 18:16
  know, just pray to God that you'll get me through these
• 18:19
  couple of days and then next thing you know, another week's
• 18:22
  gone by. It's like that's right.
• 18:25
  You had the way for my house to take a flight, a 10 minute walk,
• 18:27
  if, if you're lucky, depends how fast it walks.
• 18:29
  I've walked down the and who is what do you thought?
• 18:33
  I've seen the blokes that when I'm a a meetings at at the
• 18:36
  prison, I've walked over and said, Henry, Oh fuck, so good to
• 18:42
  see you. So I was already welcome you
• 18:43
  with plenty of love stories. I bought there, you know, so I
• 18:47
  sat down and it was like puts out of the meeting and they
• 18:51
  asked me if I wanted to share. It's like, Oh, I really want to
• 18:54
  share my story and I like I had a bit of my anxiety was a lot
• 18:59
  thickening and I'm like, no, like I don't even know these
• 19:02
  people. I haven't even had those shares.
• 19:05
  Like what? Just their shares.
• 19:07
  What was what worse than all this, But I'm not my high
• 19:11
  powers. So just me in the back of my
• 19:13
  mind. Just get up and do it for it.
• 19:15
  We've got nothing to lose. I've brought up there.
• 19:18
  Please said my story a lot at home man, till that day I was
• 19:22
  won't just tell them back what they say in the in the meetings.
• 19:27
  You see, it's good to be in a meeting.
• 19:29
  It's always good to go to meetings.
• 19:30
  But we just take one day at a time.
• 19:33
  If I don't pick up a drink today, I lay my head on that
• 19:36
  pillow. I pray to my higher power sage
• 19:38
  for getting me through that day. It's only one day at a trial.
• 19:42
  So if you plan tomorrow or the next day, you might as well just
• 19:44
  be pissed on today. You know what I mean?
• 19:47
  You know, So I must say one day at a time, no matter what this
• 19:52
  story is, we're all the same. We all suffer the disease called
• 19:56
  alcoholists. So if I can just say to anyone
• 19:59
  out there that's listening to this today.
• 20:01
  Don't be afraid she want to give it a go.
• 20:04
  There's plenty of his army, you know it was fried the 12 steps
• 20:08
  they want to sponsor the sponsor there that can help you and
• 20:11
  we'll just a bunch of friends. I like a family, someone that I
• 20:15
  can trust because I never used to be able to tell anyone my
• 20:18
  story of my own childhood and all that stuff because it was
• 20:21
  tasted in me forever to be a young age.
• 20:23
  So I kept that to myself. I did a no one judges, no way.
• 20:28
  We're all the same. Your story might your life
• 20:30
  journey might be different to mine, but stuff disease, the
• 20:33
  same disease, alcoholism, and all we have to do is take one
• 20:36
  day at a time. And like I said, I've been out
• 20:39
  now for almost two months and you know, some people can just
• 20:44
  think one meeting is enough for the week.
• 20:46
  But for me to save my sobriety, I go to a meeting every single
• 20:50
  day. There's more I go the more I get
• 20:53
  out of it. And now mainly going there for
• 20:56
  almost too much. My friends and everyone have.
• 20:59
  I've only got a will other than my A a friends.
• 21:02
  I've got a, a real tight like community friends.
• 21:05
  I've got a stepmother, my mate and his wife.
• 21:08
  And my mate is an alcoholic. But he doesn't admit that,
• 21:10
  right, You know, But that's his own.
• 21:12
  That's his own journey. I told her about a A whenever
• 21:16
  he's ready. There's like doors in there.
• 21:18
  There are meetings around. Let me know said I'm not pushing
• 21:22
  it on you. You do it whenever you're ready,
• 21:24
  mate. And it's certainly me, frog.
• 21:26
  Since you've been the actor in sober, you have inspired me to
• 21:29
  get sober. And then that's the same lad
• 21:32
  that told me that I've ruined that many Christmas in birthdays
• 21:36
  for now Good. That made me feel that made me
• 21:38
  feel like slut. But it's the best I've ever felt
• 21:41
  in my whole entire life. My whole entire life.
• 21:45
  I've never been told that I'm good enough, never been told
• 21:48
  that I'm inspiring, that it shows our words.
• 21:51
  The program and justice take one day at a time.