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Work Less, Achieve More: How Rest Can Make You More Productive · The Inspired Speaker Network

• 0:00
  Hey everybody, are you having a great day? Yes! Oh no, you're not? It's okay, I got you.
• 0:07
  I'm Tif Loeffler. Welcome to Positively Yours. I'm going to share tips, tips, techniques, and a little bit of magic to help you up level and have a great day every day.
• 0:18
  Are you ready to get started? Yeah! Or you're not? That's okay, I still got you. Let's go.
• 0:27
  Hey everybody, welcome back. The reason I am so delighted to be with you today is I want to bring truly a tip that is not only necessary.
• 0:41
  I will say crucial. Yes, I will make that bold statement. And we're talking about rest. We're also talking about reflection.
• 0:51
  And since I've heard the term rest and relaxation a lot, we're going to put them all together. Rest, relaxation, and reflection.
• 1:00
  And now we're going to start with the first R, rest. Oh yes, this is so important.
• 1:06
  And I'm also going to bring back a fun tech tip from Tip and I am now holding up my phone, which has automatically in its hardware the software for timers.
• 1:19
  I love this because you can set a timer for however long you need. You can also set a timer that is an alarm to get you started on this resting.
• 1:29
  So you can set an alarm to say, well, alarm and rest. Yes, it can happen. In fact, I don't even care if you make an alarm that tells you it's time to rest.
• 1:37
  But you can also have one that goes, you know, some little airy fairy fun thing. And it doesn't matter. It's your choice, which is so fun.
• 1:46
  You can even go online and find any type of movie quote, television quote, song clip, you name it. It's yours. This is giving you the time to rest.
• 1:55
  Now, when I say rest, I truly mean we are going to go to a quiet place physically and we are going to close our eyes if we can.
• 2:04
  So if you're not driving in your nice quiet place, I invite you right now because that's what I'm doing.
• 2:09
  I've just closed my eyes and automatically I feel more relaxed.
• 2:14
  Now, I'm open my eyes, but you could continue to close your eyes as we're taking these couple of moments and talking about rest, relaxation and reflection. Now we are resting.
• 2:23
  This is not the time to be scrolling on social media. This is not the time to make a phone call. This is your personal space that you are going to be very adamant about keeping for you.
• 2:38
  We are resting.
• 2:39
  We are resting because our body needs time to recover from all the things of the day, the challenges and also the celebrations.
• 2:48
  Even if you're having a fabulous day and everything's on point and you're going at 50 miles an hour and then 70 89 but you don't care because things are going your way and it's absolutely fantastic.
• 2:56
  That is awesome. And also, we don't want to get to the habit of all right, I just got to keep going, going, going, going because then where's the rest.
• 3:05
  Even if you're having some great days, you could still get some burnout and who wants that. We want to have some time for rest. So we're resting.
• 3:14
  And when I say relaxing, this is also not the time to introduce worry thoughts. In fact, before you start resting, if you have to put a word or a phrase like worry is on pause or say it to yourself, say it out loud right now, worry is on pause.
• 3:28
  We're not denying that there aren't things out there. We know, we know. And also, this is my time. This is my conscious time for me. So that's the relaxation.
• 3:39
  But I did include reflection. And this is a wonderful time to just take stock of things and it doesn't have to be that false positives of, oh, everything's just gorgeous.
• 3:55
  And I'm super deep into what's going wrong because again, we were talking about rest and relaxation.
• 4:03
  What I mean by reflection is we can take a neutral stance. Maybe you can say, you know what, my shoulders are a little tight. That's okay. That's an observation as we're reflecting.
• 4:13
  And then what we could do is maybe I could take my hand and I've got a little knot here. Maybe I'll just, I'll just lovingly give myself a little, a little rub there. Just okay, I can see that that's something I might need to, to reflect on a little even more later.
• 4:29
  But right now, what did I just do? I was in tune with my body. I was in a resting state. I'm feeling a little more relaxed. So I noticed these things.
• 4:39
  And we can also take time to reflect in our brains of how things are going. Just take, just take note. This does not have to be very in depth.
• 4:49
  In fact, just be okay. Like, for example, I could look at the clock and go, right now it's about 10 to the top of the hour and I'm just taking a nice rest break.
• 4:58
  Today has been a pretty good day. In fact, I've had some great times already. You don't have to say it out loud, but if you want to, I think it's tremendous.
• 5:06
  You're in your nice space. You're super bubble for you. And that is what I wanted to bring to us today. That very important crucial tip is to take moments for yourself.
• 5:17
  I invite you to just set a timer for two minutes. Just set it for two minutes. Just set the timer to remind you to take two minutes and then just set it for two minutes.
• 5:24
  It's simple to do. Anyone can do it. You've all got phones. That is my tip for today. And now I am so delighted.
• 5:33
  Talk about having a great day that I am here once again with the fantastic, the incomparable Danielle Benzon of Inspired Speakers Academy and Inspired Speakers Network of which I get to be a part of.
• 5:46
  Woo hoo, Danielle. I'm so glad that you are here. Thank you for being here today with me once more.
• 5:51
  Oh, Tif, I just love your energy. I'm so happy to be here. And I have so many things to say about your tip. That was such a good tip. Can I share something?
• 6:01
  Only after I say you inspired it and thank you for helping me with this. So please go ahead. Sure.
• 6:07
  Well, I just loved your idea of having an ant for rest because I'm just going to show how much of a nerd I am right now.
• 6:13
  There is a fantastic video out there in the ether in YouTube. If anyone is a Doctor Who fan, the, oh no, the Daleks from Doctor Who. Someone made a meditation video using the Daleks voice.
• 6:29
  So it's exhale, inhale, relax. And it is the funniest. It is just, I mean, it doesn't help you relax, but it really helps you giggle.
• 6:39
  And it is the funniest, funniest thing I have ever seen. So I would really recommend any geeks out there, any sci-fi nerds, go check out the Dalek meditation video. It is fantastic.
• 6:55
  I'm going to. Thank you. That's so fun. That's a nice ad. First of all, sense of humor.
• 7:01
  And that's a rejuvenation. So we've got, we've got rest, reflection, relaxation, and rejuvenation, I think is also one where we have to fill ourselves up again.
• 7:09
  So we need to, we do need to rest very much. And that is something that I am not as good at as, although, I don't know, I've kind of, my body's kind of optimized because I'm often in an exhausted state.
• 7:21
  As soon as I sit down and I have nothing to do, I just fall asleep. So I fall asleep at the hairdressers, fall asleep at the bus because my body's like, oh, we're not doing anything.
• 7:32
  Okay. It's like, it's like sleep mode, which I think is hilarious. But also when you take the, even if it's just two minutes to just get into your body, you get into your breath, time slows down.
• 7:46
  And if you are wanting to be productive and you wanted to get more done, if you feel like your whole day just gets away from you and just like, oh my goodness, it's the end of the day.
• 7:54
  And I don't know what I did. I don't know how it happened. Taking tiny little breaks and I take the little meditation breaks between tasks, switching, you know, like when you do every time you do a context switch.
• 8:04
  I don't, I don't always do it anymore, but I used to do it all the time and it was really helpful. I need to get back to it.
• 8:10
  When I would, every time I would context switch, I would take like a little five, two to five minute meditation break and it really helps. It helps integrate what you've just been doing.
• 8:19
  And it helps you just kind of get into the present and it slows everything down a bit, which is, which is really helpful when you're trying to get lots done, having a bit more time, really useful.
• 8:32
  So there's my tip for, to add on to this tip.
• 8:34
  I think this is, oh, I'm so excited that you mentioned that. And I remember on a, I'll call it a happy scroll because sometimes you can be on social media and just look at a couple of things.
• 8:46
  And I'm so happy, just awesome. I scrolled on something and this, I will say yes, scientist, PhD in, in, I can't remember what his PhD was in, but I love that he said, and now you have said this.
• 9:04
  So it's so fun. The, when you are in the present moment, when you are taking a moment to rest that yes, this is a way to actually stretch time to slow it down. It is possible.
• 9:15
  So thank you for that because I love it. And when I said that you've inspired the beginning of this conversation, so many other conversations in my life. Thank you, Danielle.
• 9:24
  When we first started working together, me as your client, I don't mind sharing this because back in the day it felt embarrassing. And now I'm so happy to share this to help others as well as how you have helped me.
• 9:38
  I was very busy with many frivolous things. I think I was afraid to slow down. It was either a sign of weakness or I would be exhausted. And when you helped me to start, because I think we have mentioned before about how you've helped me with scheduling my time.
• 9:58
  The number one word at the top of the list was rest. And it was in capital letters. And you were very adamant not only to tell me that this is a time where if you need to rest, you will rest. And rest does not mean as the things I mentioned before, this is not scrolling, this is not, oh, I'm going to start cleaning or I'm going to call that.
• 10:19
  You will lie down. You will close your eyes. If you fall asleep, that's fine. And if you don't, that's okay.
• 10:26
  And thank you for reminding me about the importance of resting and letting yourself know I'll rest. Even if you don't fall asleep, your body's like, oh, like you say, we're in rest both. It is still good for you. And I wasn't aware. Or if I was, my brain said, forget that because I'm so far behind. And let's now get into me feeling bad about myself being so far behind. So I can't, basically, I couldn't afford to rest. And guess what? That was what I really couldn't afford was not to rest.
• 10:56
  And now I love looking at my schedule. And right at the top still says, rest, it's okay to be reminded also, people, this is what I love about working with Danielle is that you've helped me. This is not a, oh, you, I tell you once and you're going to remember it forever. How about things take time? So there might come a time where I don't need that anymore. But right now, I still need to schedule time specifically with the option, top option of rest.
• 11:24
  Yeah, absolutely. It's, it's so important. And I think I am one of those people who I really like to be productive. And I, I have spent much of my life ignoring whom I need to rest and over caffeinating and that kind of thing. And these days, my body just, it, it, it won't take no for an answer. It just, it's just like, Danielle, you're not going to get so I'm going to do it for you. And we have these very interesting negotiations, my body and I, because, no, no, no, I just want to finish this email. And then I'll like fall asleep.
• 11:53
  Like literally like face plant on the computer. My body's like, no, I said we're going to rest now. So it is, it's this very interesting kind of, and it's not, it's funny because it's, these days it's not a, like, I don't, I don't get it to that horrible exhaustion space because my body won't let me, it knows that I'll push.
• 12:14
  It's like, oh, we know that if we let her push us, she will push us. So we're just not going to let it. It's like, it's like my body sits in boundaries. It's like, nope.
• 12:25
  As soon as you start getting tired with switching off, not, we're not going to let you push into the, into the red zone anymore. So it's quite funny. Actually, I find it quite amusing. My body's relationship with me.
• 12:37
  We negotiate a lot.
• 12:39
  I like that because as you know, and I'm going to cough now, excuse me.
• 12:48
  I am recovering. I know I could have, but there's part, there's a reason for it.
• 12:53
  Okay. You did it on purpose.
• 12:54
  I did it on purpose, everyone, because I am recovering from being sick. And currently I'm recovering from a bacterial infection in my lung, which I found out about. And it's not like tragic.
• 13:06
  And everyone, the point is I did go to the doctor, doctor helped figure it out. I'm on the mend. I feel much better. The reason I'm breaking it up is I was pushing myself way too much.
• 13:18
  And I opened and I didn't want to deal with things. Whatever that was, I don't know specifically, but all I know is that I was feeling frantic.
• 13:26
  So I was pushing myself way too hard and my body said, well, we're going to get sick. And then guess what? After you get sick, now you're going to deal with this.
• 13:33
  And it brings me back to her name is Dr. Christian Northrup, and she is an amazing woman. And this, she said decades ago, but she's still around.
• 13:43
  I just love how the book she's written, she had a newsletter decades ago, back before anybody else was doing these types of really cool, like women's body, women's health type things.
• 13:54
  And she said that illness is the Western world's form of meditation.
• 13:59
  Oh, that's depressing. That is so depressing.
• 14:04
  And it was apt then, and I wish I could say so much better. And yet, I really feel it's important to state that to either I like your reaction because that's a good one.
• 14:18
  I feel that's the best. I was like, what? Oh my gosh.
• 14:20
  But there are some of us when we heard that we didn't want to hear it. You can't hear it. And if there is somebody here who is bristling at that, I'm glad you are.
• 14:32
  Because I had to say it, I had to take a stand for your greatness and be bold and say, this is not the way to rest. This is not the way to take care of yourself is I'll just get to the point of being sick.
• 14:44
  And it almost becomes a weird cycle, which I am. I just.
• 14:50
  In my kind of upbringing in my culture, it's the only excuse, you know, like you don't get to take off work unless you're so ill you can't work.
• 14:59
  And it was kind of a badge of pride to like go to work or go to school while you were still sick and to push through and get everybody else sick. It's wonderful. I love it.
• 15:10
  And I've done a complete 180 on that because I used to really believe that, you know, you got a person who's never get sick and sickness is a sign of weakness and all that kind of stuff.
• 15:19
  And now I'm like, you know what? When I'm tired, I take a break and I am so much more productive.
• 15:26
  I will work less and get more done if I rest more.
• 15:31
  If I work myself to the bone and I'm pushing myself and I'm getting sick, my productivity goes way down.
• 15:38
  Sure, I'm working all the time, but I'm doing almost nothing. My brain's not working properly. I'm not energized.
• 15:44
  Like I just so now I proactively every time and I don't really get a little knock on wood. I don't really get sick that much anymore.
• 15:51
  And the last time I got sick, I got really sick and ended up in hospital, but I don't get like little colds and stuff very often because as soon as I feel it, like, oh,
• 15:59
  I'm not feeling so great. I'm going to take the morning off and sleep in and take some extra immunity stuff and just look after myself a little bit more because I can feel like I'm finding something.
• 16:09
  And so it never really gets, I mean, I don't want to say never, I don't want to hyperbolize because obviously, you know, I'm not, I don't believe that my willpower can overcome germs.
• 16:23
  I just believe that I am, I am doing best practices so I get sick a lot less often. I'm not saying I'm invisible or anything like that.
• 16:30
  And I'm not saying that people who get sick deserve it. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that I have learned some best practices that before I was doing worse practices and I was getting sick a lot more than I needed to.
• 16:44
  And now I don't get sick nearly as much because I am, I am listening to my body and I'm observing best practices. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying I love the clarity of sickness. I don't believe that's true.
• 16:57
  Although there is a psychosomatic version of all of this, of course, too. It's complicated. What I'm saying is I'm learning to look after myself is what I'm trying to say.
• 17:06
  And proactively, you don't have to do it. It's not this whole like, you got to do your homework first and then you can, you know, and then you can rest or whatever.
• 17:15
  Thank you.
• 17:16
  You got to rest first. You got to invest in yourself. You got to, you got to look after yourself. This body of yours needs to stay at optimal.
• 17:24
  And if we keep pushing it too far, it's not going to be working at 100%. And why would we do that? Why would we want that? We don't want that.
• 17:35
  We really don't. And yet we're crazy humans. We are crazy humans. We do a lot of illogical things. We do. And everybody hears the deal.
• 17:46
  We have these beautiful bodies that are very strong and also very fragile. And there are times when you can do all the best practices, you will do all the things and you will still get sick.
• 17:56
  Yes.
• 17:57
  Thank you, Danielle, for let us not introduce the thought that because I've heard this from so many people. All right. Yeah. You, you got sick because you weren't dealing with. So it's another form of shaming.
• 18:09
  Yeah.
• 18:09
  You got sick because of so whatever it's, it's completely.
• 18:14
  You got sick because of, there you go.
• 18:16
  And maybe, maybe too many people with dirty hands around you were coughing on you or what, you know, it happens.
• 18:24
  Let's just take it on the face value once in a while. Can we just give ourselves some grace? Thank you for that for supplying us some grace.
• 18:32
  And this is why I feel also it is good to remind us life is a marathon. It's not a sprint. Of course, if for, if I'm speaking now to the women in business, I'm actually looking in a mirror.
• 18:45
  I feel guess what? There are going to be times where you are. Oh my gosh, you're so excited about a project or you're nearing this timeline.
• 18:51
  And you got to get it done. You're going to push through. I get that.
• 18:55
  That can be fun. That can be fun. It's just, if you do that 24 seven all the time, we need some balance and I know balance.
• 19:04
  And then some people, here's what I love about talking with Danielle.
• 19:08
  I, she knows I love language and we'd like to talk out things and maybe something at the beginning of the conversation might make perfect sense.
• 19:14
  Then after I was like, Oh, I might need to think about that. And I love this. People, the word balance, some people get so, I like the word bejigity just to be like, they just get so like, oh, I just, you can't have balance or you, or you have to have balance.
• 19:28
  Depends on how you define balance, I think. And how would you define balance, darling?
• 19:33
  I think, I think for me, balance is everything kind of just staying up in the air, you know, like if I'm balancing multiple, you know, like those circus performers with like multiple plates.
• 19:44
  And they're spinning one on their finger and one on their toe and one in the nose. I feel like if all the plates are still spinning and they're all up in the air, I kind of feel like that's balance.
• 19:51
  I love seeing those. Oh, you'd see those sculptures. We get this a lot in Vancouver in the Pacific Northwest. I don't know if you get them all at everywhere else, but you know, those stone sculptures where you balance the stones on top of each other.
• 20:02
  There's, there's a, there's a weightlessness and a kind of alignment and a, we're all kind of working togetherness of balance.
• 20:11
  I don't believe, I'm not talking about a seesaw. I'm not like, oh, I only have two things in my life and they're both exactly equal.
• 20:16
  I don't think of that as balance because, and also there's parts of my life that aren't as important as other parts.
• 20:22
  And so they get more attention. And so I don't want everything to be on a straight line, but balance is like everything's still, everything's still up there.
• 20:30
  None of the plates have dropped. Nothing's breaking. You know, for me, that's what balance is, which is not something I achieve very often.
• 20:39
  Let's be clear. Well, I love the goal state. The goal state, the flow state. Yeah. Two things popped in my head.
• 20:49
  One, I love that you mentioned the seesaw. Like it's not just two things. They have to be this perfect equilibrium.
• 20:56
  That is how I thought about balance for a very, very, very long time. Yes. So everyone, if you, that's how you think of balance. That's okay.
• 21:03
  That, and we're not, and I'm not saying, oh, well now you have to think of a new way. No, that's a classic way.
• 21:08
  That's when you're a little kid, you're on the seesaw. And that's how you figure out a version of balance, which I love.
• 21:14
  The second thing is I love when you're talking about the spinning of the plates. The fun thing about that for me is back in the day, I thought, oh, but it's so tough. They keep trying to know for them.
• 21:23
  It's effortless. That's the fun part. Yes. And it's fascinating and fun to watch them. They're not in a stress mode.
• 21:32
  For me, my perception is they must be stressed. Well, of course, if I were trying to do it, I'd be very stressed because I'm not optimally designed to do that at this moment.
• 21:45
  But there's this kind of relaxed focus, which I think is what people call flow state that one achieves sometimes when doing things like balancing plates.
• 21:54
  I've never managed to balance a plate, but I've experienced this in other areas of my life where something is so difficult, so difficult, so difficult.
• 22:01
  And then it clicks and suddenly you kind of feel free and weightless and you are doing the thing. But if you focus on it too much, you'll drop it, you know.
• 22:14
  And it is this kind of state where it's almost like a soft focus, where you're totally present, you're totally into it, but you're not trying to control it.
• 22:23
  And there's that kind of dance that happens. And for me, that's the state I want. I want to be in that state as much as possible. That's where I want to live.
• 22:32
  It's not where I live a lot of the time, but I do my best. Like, that's where I want to live. I want to live in that space of that.
• 22:38
  I think it's called flow state. I think that's what people call it these days. I always called it kind of relaxed focus because I didn't have a name for it.
• 22:44
  But when it's so difficult, so difficult, so difficult, it's so difficult. And then it clicks and then suddenly you're not thinking about it in the same way.
• 22:55
  It's not requiring the same amount of effort that it was requiring when you were failing. It is now requiring less effort and you're managing to do it.
• 23:04
  But then as soon as you start thinking about it and you get self-conscious, then all the plates drop again. So you've got to stay in that open, loose place.
• 23:13
  You got to, because you get to at some point, then you don't. And here again, let's offer ourselves some grace.
• 23:22
  Let's stay there all the time. It's okay. But what I love talking with you about this idea and not just we cannot make rest a concept.
• 23:33
  Okay, it just can't be an idea. It's got to be a practice. And here's where the, it's not just a, you should do this, you must. I like when someone says it goes from, you know, whatever iteration two, it is a must.
• 23:47
  And you must take care of yourself and you must offer yourself some rest.
• 23:53
  And it could be a part of you, maybe your business that collapses or relationship that collapses. If you're not offering time for relaxation reflection, I must bring that in with relationships as well.
• 24:07
  It's good to just have time to rest with someone that you love, to relax, to reflect. It's such a beautiful part of being alive.
• 24:18
  Is when you are with someone you love and it can be, you know, it can be your child, your parent, your sibling, your spouse, your partner, your friend.
• 24:28
  And it's just your pet. Yes. You know, I think if not everyone has these individuals in their lives and not everyone has this need as well. I think being kind of, you're a divergent ish. I have this need to, like, I'm on with most people.
• 24:45
  I don't really masking, but I'm kind of on with most people. And when I can find someone that I can relax enough with to not be on and there's like two or three people in the world, it's not a lot, maybe less.
• 25:02
  And I don't think everyone has this need. But for me, that is so rejuvenating because usually it's something I can only do on my own.
• 25:09
  It's a type of relaxation I can only get if I'm by myself. But if I can find someone that I can have that level of rest with, if I can be in their presence and have that level of rest, that is really, really special for me.
• 25:24
  It doesn't come around very often, but I don't know if everyone needs that, but I know I do.
• 25:31
  I like that you brought up not everyone needs the things that we're talking about. That's okay.
• 25:36
  Well, everyone needs some form of rest. We're human beings.
• 25:39
  Oh, yes, for sure. I like that. But I like that we introduce that. Ultimately, I feel you get to be your own best friend.
• 25:47
  Yes.
• 25:48
  And make sure that you are taking care of yourself and having that rest. Now, if you want to introduce the connection with someone else, awesome.
• 25:58
  And also, even if someone's like a total loner, that's great. Also, you need to take care of that loner person because it's and the best part is it's doable.
• 26:07
  This is absolutely within our choice throughout the day of having a great day is to choose to take moments to rest however it works for you.
• 26:20
  And I think that self-knowledge is the biggest thing because I think a lot of people think, and I used to think, I used to think I was an extrovert because everybody told me I was.
• 26:30
  And I was like, well, everyone else must be right. And I didn't understand why I was so unhappy and stressed all the time.
• 26:38
  And it was only kind of getting to know myself better and allowing myself to do things that other people kind of said I shouldn't need or shouldn't do and kind of go, but I want this.
• 26:50
  So I'm going to do it. I need a certain amount of time by myself in the quiet, potentially in the dark.
• 26:57
  Like I need that every single day and learning these things and they're maybe not, you know, socially acceptable or whatever.
• 27:03
  But knowing that I am so much stronger in the world now.
• 27:07
  I used to have anxiety attacks all the time because I was constantly stressed out because I wasn't giving myself that rest and rejuvenation.
• 27:15
  I wasn't finding time in the day. Like if I had an event, I would just spend the whole event with other people because that's what everyone else was doing.
• 27:23
  You know, we'd have lunch together and we had breakfast, you know, and now I'm like, OK, so I know that I need a certain amount of alone time every single day to recharge my battery.
• 27:33
  And so I schedule that and I schedule it before I schedule it after I schedule it during if I can and finding all these little ways.
• 27:40
  And the more you understand your unique self, because we're all completely different and stop listening to what you should be doing, what other people are doing, who cares what other people are doing.
• 27:48
  What do you need? What is your body and your soul need for you to feel good?
• 27:55
  And it was only when I started listening to myself instead of other people and everything kind of shifted.
• 28:01
  And my life is so much easier now because I give myself what I need instead of going, well, you shouldn't need that.
• 28:07
  So we're just going to push through. It's like, well, who cares if I should or shouldn't. I do.
• 28:11
  So I'm going to do the thing and I'm going to be happy about it.
• 28:16
  I love that you said that. And thank you for mentioning the feeling anxious because for most of my life, I really wasn't until.
• 28:29
  And it was in 2021 when I decided to sign up for all of these things and put myself, string myself out financially that I put myself into a state of almost constant anxiety.
• 28:47
  And I don't know that it matters if you've had that all your life or if you have an event.
• 28:52
  It just, I got to that point and it really sucked. And I didn't even truly realize what was happening for a few years.
• 28:59
  I, again, woof. It was also because I was too afraid to talk to people about it.
• 29:05
  And if someone is, oh, if we, if we're feeling anxious, if we're feeling we can't rest, I would also say, you know what?
• 29:14
  Reach out to someone that you feel you can trust.
• 29:17
  And I want to even be a little more granular saying it's not a forever thing.
• 29:22
  You don't have to blindly go into something.
• 29:25
  But if there's a friend you can talk to or a spouse say, hey, I'm feeling this way.
• 29:29
  I just, I can't figure this out. Do you need to go see a specialist about it? There's everything right. Absolutely.
• 29:36
  You know, if you're going to do a little research, try not to go down a rabbit hole and decide that it's absolutely, you know, just let, let yourself be okay.
• 29:45
  Right. Exactly. Thank you.
• 29:48
  But also be conscious about, like, I do just want to have a caveat here because I am a strong believer in working with professionals, you know, like I have a therapist.
• 29:57
  However, make sure you get the right one first, because if you have a bad match that can do as much damage as not having one at all.
• 30:05
  So yes, do seek professional help.
• 30:09
  But just like buying a car or clothes or your dream house, it needs to fit you and your values and there needs to be an alignment there.
• 30:19
  And a lot of people think, well, you know, a therapist is a therapist.
• 30:22
  All people are the same. They can fix me.
• 30:24
  No, no, people don't come with a manual.
• 30:27
  And they're just too nice to you and you need to you need to be with someone who understands and respects the way that you work.
• 30:35
  Otherwise, they can potentially do more damage than good.
• 30:37
  And that's not that's not hopefully they're aware enough to recognize it and refer you on to someone else.
• 30:43
  But just I have had bad experiences because I just thought, well, they're professional.
• 30:49
  They must know more than me.
• 30:50
  And that's that's not true.
• 30:51
  They don't know more than you, but they can give you a really, really good outside perspective.
• 30:57
  So choose wisely. Always trust yourself more than anyone else.
• 31:02
  Do ask for help, but also be discerning and be aware that they are just human beings.
• 31:07
  So I just wanted to say that because I do really believe in seeking professional help.
• 31:13
  But I also think if you do anything blindly, you might get hurt.
• 31:20
  Oh, yeah. So I'm really glad you brought that up.
• 31:24
  Thank you so much, honey, because it's so important.
• 31:30
  First of all, that we start saying out loud that it is OK to ask for help in so many different ways.
• 31:36
  And yes, seeking professional help.
• 31:38
  I am also on that. Absolutely.
• 31:41
  What I think I got a little shy about scared about was it just you you can get connected with someone who it's not gelling.
• 31:53
  And then but I guess I need this.
• 31:55
  So I'm just going to stay and it takes and sadly, if again, if you're not in the flow of understanding,
• 32:01
  like right now, if I were to have a session one session with someone, it's not working.
• 32:04
  I am absolutely OK with saying, you know what, this just doesn't work out.
• 32:07
  Thanks. I'm on the next one when you're really vulnerable.
• 32:10
  When you're really vulnerable to your thank you.
• 32:13
  So no can seem like such a such a struggle to say.
• 32:21
  And it's OK. Like it's just it's all good.
• 32:24
  Like when I just love because if we're talking about taking care of ourselves and the rest,
• 32:28
  the relaxation, the balance, because we're going to talk a little bit about pos productivity.
• 32:32
  Oh, I was almost saying positivity.
• 32:34
  But productivity does make you feel really positive.
• 32:36
  And I'm really glad that we did start off with talking.
• 32:40
  And our conversation did connect to making that truly making an offer to all of us that if we feel we need some extra help
• 32:49
  and that can include for women in business finding the right coach.
• 32:54
  And here is where I feel it is especially important.
• 32:56
  Go shopping. Oh, yes. And don't be scared to to take people for a test drive.
• 33:02
  And if they're not OK with you taking them for a test drive, that might be a red flag.
• 33:07
  That might be a huge red flag.
• 33:08
  I will also say a very huge red flag that I would be saying a lot throughout my life.
• 33:14
  Two people from now on is if they say, OK, we're going to work together and don't tell anybody about this
• 33:19
  because we don't want someone to take away your dream.
• 33:23
  That is huge red flag. Huge, huge red flag.
• 33:25
  Well, because the the investment of all of these things that I signed up for,
• 33:29
  I signed up for so many things and they were very expensive and looking back and in talking with people,
• 33:34
  it was very evident they were not the right ones for me.
• 33:37
  It wasn't about anything else, but they weren't the right fit.
• 33:39
  Yeah, because someone either had the decision that they knew better than me and I gave them my power.
• 33:46
  And I'm brainless to our attention.
• 33:47
  So much. And that was the main thing, actually.
• 33:51
  So that's actually a benefit of reflecting on things, this rest, relaxation, reflection.
• 33:55
  It does not mean that you are reflecting, thinking poorly of your decisions.
• 34:01
  But when. But again, I love this.
• 34:04
  I want to say it again, like what just what you said.
• 34:07
  Try someone out in that. OK, we're going to I'm going to try this with you and see how it goes.
• 34:12
  And if it goes great, then. And if not, it's OK to say it didn't work out.
• 34:16
  And you know what? That is not on. That's not your problem. That is your solution.
• 34:20
  Oh, we're not a match. It's OK. It's not a match. Oh, thank you for that.
• 34:23
  It doesn't need to be a fail. It does not. It's not a failing of anyone.
• 34:27
  It just was not a good match. Oh, well, I tried on these shoes.
• 34:31
  I'm a size seven. They're a size eight. They're not going to work for me. It's OK.
• 34:36
  We don't feel bad about, you know, not buying something that's the wrong size for us.
• 34:41
  So I love this analogy. The same thing. And I do want to say,
• 34:44
  oh, because our industry is prevalent with this right now.
• 34:48
  There were so many people and it's this kind of old school sales.
• 34:51
  You know, we ride the the the motivation and the high.
• 34:56
  Oh, you got to find out all the urgency. And there is nothing wrong with saying,
• 35:01
  this sounds like a really great idea. And I'm really hyped up right now.
• 35:05
  But I need to think about it for 24 hours.
• 35:08
  And you can even put down a deposit and say, like, hey,
• 35:10
  can I get my deposit back if I change my mind within 24 hours?
• 35:13
  If that person and, you know, there's there's there's like painful bonuses
• 35:18
  and that kind of stuff. Usually they'll give you a 24 hour period to change
• 35:21
  your mind. And if you if you're going to miss out on a bonus, like maybe
• 35:25
  that's not a big deal if you're not sure. But if you are at all not sure,
• 35:31
  if there is any doubt in your mind and that person who is selling to you
• 35:36
  doesn't give you some sort of, well, yeah, you put down a deposit today
• 35:40
  and within 24 hours you let me know and I'll cancel it or, you know,
• 35:44
  just something. If they don't give you anything like that at all,
• 35:48
  they're like, no, it's now or never. Just say no. If there's any doubt at all,
• 35:54
  just say no, because it's a manipulative tactic that we use in sales,
• 35:58
  not I use, but we as people use in sales to to kind of get people to buy things
• 36:03
  that they don't really need or they can't really afford. And it's it's
• 36:09
  it's not in integrity. And if they are the right fit for you,
• 36:13
  well, they're the right fit for you and you know, they're the right fit for
• 36:15
  you to say, yes, just do it. There's no question. I like that too. Yes.
• 36:19
  If there's any doubt, if there's any doubt at all, if there's anything going,
• 36:23
  well, I can't really afford this or I'm not really sure or whatever.
• 36:25
  Just give yourself 24 hours to let that emotional high fade think about it.
• 36:32
  Talk to them again in like 12 hours or something. It's fine. But if they
• 36:36
  are not okay with that, if there isn't some sort of conditional guarantee
• 36:39
  whatever that again is a red flag, because for me, if they're if they
• 36:43
  don't believe in their product enough for it to still be good in 24 hours,
• 36:49
  you know, if they don't feel like they can sell it again, you know,
• 36:52
  that is then then my need wasn't real in the first place.
• 36:57
  Yeah, it was an illusion if it was just an heightened emotional state.
• 37:01
  That's not me. That's just a heightened emotional state. So, you know,
• 37:04
  be there's so much out there right now. And I'm not saying if you're
• 37:08
  enthusiastic and you're excited and you know, it's the right fit. I'm not
• 37:10
  saying don't go for it. Then go for it. Oh, yeah, you can make it work.
• 37:14
  But don't feel bullied into making decisions when you're not ready to.
• 37:19
  And if people don't take your buying style into account,
• 37:24
  they're not the right people for you. It's not, it's, oh, you're,
• 37:29
  you should go already. Yeah. Well, and if I, if I have a doubt,
• 37:32
  that means I don't know what to means. No, thank you. Goodbye.
• 37:35
  If it's not, heck yes, it's no,
• 37:38
  I love this. I love this. Thank you.
• 37:42
  And I think it was very important because if we're going to be productive
• 37:46
  in our days,
• 37:47
  we need to have built our team and our team includes the people that we're
• 37:51
  bringing in. And if they're not the right fit,
• 37:54
  that is not helping the productivity at all.
• 37:57
  And if you fill your time with things that are good enough,
• 37:59
  you don't have any space for the things that are amazing.
• 38:03
  You know, so, so, you know, yes. Okay. Maybe you've got this gap.
• 38:07
  Maybe you've got this gap and it does need to be filled.
• 38:11
  But if you fill it with something that's good enough,
• 38:13
  when something that is, that's amazing comes along,
• 38:15
  you're not going to be able to take that on because you've already
• 38:17
  filled that space.
• 38:19
  So if you want to run a business that is amazing,
• 38:21
  if you want to have a life that really works for you,
• 38:23
  that really clicks, don't fill it with good enough,
• 38:26
  unless it's a placeholder that you can easily get rid of.
• 38:29
  Then, okay, that's fine. Like a minimum viable product is okay.
• 38:31
  But if you're committing to something instead of waiting for that
• 38:36
  right thing to come along,
• 38:39
  then you're committing to never being,
• 38:43
  to never having what you want, to never being amazing,
• 38:45
  to never relaxing,
• 38:46
  to always have to struggle because you didn't have the faith
• 38:50
  that you would find something the right thing.
• 38:53
  You'll find the right thing. The world is a big place.
• 38:56
  It is a big place.
• 38:58
  Oh my gosh.
• 38:58
  There was so much you just said here that I just,
• 39:00
  we could talk a whole hour about it.
• 39:02
  Whoa, just that alone.
• 39:03
  But also, I'm going to say and also thank you because I feel,
• 39:10
  I want to just love, love, love, love so much what you said about.
• 39:14
  If you only fill it with that good enough,
• 39:17
  how are you going to have the space for the great?
• 39:18
  And I love also thank you for the grace of understanding
• 39:21
  that some of us needed to put some placeholders in.
• 39:24
  Oh yeah.
• 39:26
  And my, my add to that is to celebrate what you said about the,
• 39:34
  put something in there that you could easily change.
• 39:36
  Like that's fine.
• 39:36
  Like I think when you're starting out in anything,
• 39:40
  like for example, if you want to go to,
• 39:42
  and I'm just going to very quickly gloss over this,
• 39:45
  that okay, you're starting out and there are some things
• 39:47
  you're very interested in.
• 39:48
  If you want to go to some summits,
• 39:49
  if you want to take some courses,
• 39:50
  if you want to do these things for a certain amount of time,
• 39:54
  it makes sense.
• 39:55
  It really does.
• 39:56
  Oh, absolutely.
• 39:57
  And, and also this is where I feel it is good when you get
• 40:01
  that core person, a coach, a mentor, a teacher, a guide,
• 40:07
  someone who can help guide you to say, yes,
• 40:09
  but four years from now,
• 40:10
  you still don't want to be attending a summit every single week,
• 40:13
  three days in a row.
• 40:15
  You don't want to stay up at night listening to all these courses.
• 40:18
  You don't want to stay on calls.
• 40:21
  And I do have someone that I know that.
• 40:23
  They graduate.
• 40:25
  They have not graduated.
• 40:27
  It's okay.
• 40:28
  I'm struggling to graduate at times.
• 40:30
  It's okay.
• 40:30
  We all do this.
• 40:32
  But you don't want to fill it up because I do want us to
• 40:34
  really touch on productivity for business.
• 40:39
  If we could just for a little bit.
• 40:40
  And I think this is a great segue to say that is not how
• 40:43
  to be productive.
• 40:44
  No.
• 40:46
  You cannot just fill your time with busy work and think.
• 40:50
  And they're just,
• 40:51
  we could take a whole two days talking about what not to do,
• 40:54
  but if there's one thing,
• 40:56
  one thing not to do or what would you like to say on this?
• 40:59
  Because I want to make sure that I keep myself on track to
• 41:02
  talk a little bit about productivity.
• 41:04
  I don't know if this is going off track or not,
• 41:06
  but this is why I have in my program,
• 41:09
  I have different stages for my speakers because you have
• 41:12
  different needs at different stages of your journey.
• 41:14
  When you are just starting out,
• 41:16
  you should be window shopping.
• 41:17
  If you're not window shopping,
• 41:18
  when the right thing comes along,
• 41:19
  you're not going to recognize it.
• 41:20
  So at the beginning, do a lot of window shopping,
• 41:23
  do a lot of free stuff.
• 41:24
  Try it all.
• 41:25
  Your, your time is less valuable than your money when you
• 41:28
  were just starting out.
• 41:29
  You know, you've got a lot of time.
• 41:30
  You don't have a lot of money.
• 41:31
  And then, and then at some point it flips and your time
• 41:33
  becomes more valuable that, you know, and,
• 41:36
  and so you've got to,
• 41:37
  you've got to be very aware of which stage you're in and
• 41:39
  what your needs are.
• 41:40
  And it all comes back to self-awareness, right?
• 41:43
  You are going to change.
• 41:44
  You are going to grow in your business.
• 41:46
  And it's very important that you don't keep trying to do
• 41:49
  the things that used to serve you that no longer serve you.
• 41:52
  And you should be transitioning.
• 41:54
  Oh, it's so good.
• 41:54
  You know, so yeah.
• 41:56
  And that is the key,
• 41:56
  I think to productivity is constant reflection.
• 42:00
  So once you've rested and you've stopped and you're like,
• 42:04
  okay, everything's okay.
• 42:05
  My nervous system is good.
• 42:06
  Life is good.
• 42:07
  I've eaten.
• 42:07
  I've refilled all that stuff.
• 42:08
  Reflect because I don't know about you,
• 42:10
  but I check in on my priorities a couple of times a day.
• 42:13
  Like every time I contact switch pretty much,
• 42:15
  I go, okay,
• 42:16
  is the thing that I thought that was the most important thing to
• 42:18
  do next?
• 42:19
  Still the most important thing to do next.
• 42:21
  Given that the last couple of hours have happened,
• 42:23
  life has changed.
• 42:24
  News has happened.
• 42:25
  Calls have happened.
• 42:26
  Whatever is this still the most important thing?
• 42:28
  So I'm constantly checking in and reflecting,
• 42:31
  but you have to zoom out for that.
• 42:33
  There's, there's,
• 42:33
  there's like the zoom in and business and the zoom out.
• 42:35
  So when you're zoomed in and you're focused and you're in
• 42:38
  flow state,
• 42:38
  you're just doing the thing you're getting the thing done and
• 42:41
  you're present and you're in the nitty gritty.
• 42:43
  And then when you come out of it,
• 42:45
  that's when you kind of look at the big picture and you go,
• 42:47
  okay, is everything still what I thought it was an hour ago,
• 42:51
  a day ago, a week ago?
• 42:52
  Are the priorities still what they thought they were?
• 42:55
  Have I changed gear?
• 42:56
  Have I, have I changed direction?
• 42:58
  Because I got excited about something else.
• 42:59
  Has a new opportunity come up?
• 43:01
  Like where am I?
• 43:02
  Get your bearings and then you go back into it again.
• 43:06
  And it's, so it's this constant,
• 43:07
  it's frustrating as a business owner,
• 43:09
  but it's also really fun to kind of cause you're constantly
• 43:13
  diving in,
• 43:14
  going into the super,
• 43:15
  super focused mode and then coming out and taking a look at the entire.
• 43:19
  Landscape.
• 43:20
  Does that make sense?
• 43:22
  I think it makes so much sense that I love it.
• 43:24
  I love everything you said.
• 43:25
  I was so glad that I could just sit back and just.
• 43:28
  Letting me do.
• 43:30
  You know why?
• 43:31
  Because there is a reason everyone and it is because.
• 43:35
  I made the choice.
• 43:38
  To have Danielle as my mentor and coach.
• 43:42
  And I am very grateful for this because to tie into what you said about the.
• 43:49
  Zooming in and zooming out.
• 43:50
  That is why I'm so grateful that you are my coach and mentor because we meet on
• 43:55
  a regular enough basis where you are able to check in with me.
• 44:01
  See what I'm doing and we can make adjustments.
• 44:04
  Now the one part of this that I want to be absolutely clear.
• 44:07
  Everyone.
• 44:08
  You can do this on your own.
• 44:10
  Again, if you have someone saying, well, if you don't hire me.
• 44:13
  Oh, you can.
• 44:13
  You are going to.
• 44:14
  Of course you can.
• 44:15
  So I want to start with that.
• 44:16
  I want to start with your own self reflections.
• 44:21
  You are enough.
• 44:22
  As you action.
• 44:23
  You are so enough.
• 44:24
  And again, thank you, Danielle, for mentioning.
• 44:26
  Start that window shopping.
• 44:28
  Try things on for free.
• 44:29
  Sign up for these things.
• 44:31
  Give yourself that.
• 44:32
  Oh, yes.
• 44:33
  Trust that person.
• 44:34
  And we are pointing at ourselves.
• 44:35
  Yes.
• 44:35
  I love that.
• 44:36
  Thank you.
• 44:37
  And it's wonderful.
• 44:38
  And that's the main thing.
• 44:40
  I wanted to let everyone know that there are times when.
• 44:46
  Because we are not in this world completely solo 24 seven for the entire lives.
• 44:53
  Guess what?
• 44:53
  We do interact with people and it's fun to interact with people.
• 44:56
  I mean, it's wonderful that you will find people that you want to work with.
• 45:00
  Yes.
• 45:01
  And you will find people that you will ask for help and you will find people
• 45:05
  that you feel this is an investment that is worth taking.
• 45:10
  And hey, we want it to always work out.
• 45:13
  Sometimes it doesn't.
• 45:14
  But guess what?
• 45:14
  It didn't stop me from still being open.
• 45:17
  And then when Danielle and I, I guess it was just kind of a fun kismet moment.
• 45:22
  Right.
• 45:23
  And you were just talking about what you do and what I'd be interested in.
• 45:26
  And I was.
• 45:27
  And I said, yes.
• 45:28
  And it was wonderful.
• 45:29
  Did I have some good experience before that?
• 45:31
  Yes.
• 45:32
  Did I have some bad?
• 45:33
  Wow.
• 45:33
  Yeah.
• 45:35
  But it didn't stop me from continuing on the journey.
• 45:37
  So as you continue on your journey and take your moments, I just feel that's
• 45:41
  just thank you for letting me just really hone in on.
• 45:46
  It's so important to give yourself the space to, and it helps to say it,
• 45:53
  but to not be the judge.
• 45:55
  There's one piece of advice about now we're going to talk about how you
• 45:58
  measure productivity.
• 45:59
  We do need to have data.
• 46:01
  It's good to have data.
• 46:02
  It's good to have a calendar.
• 46:02
  That's why when you talked about the calendar and you're tracking what
• 46:06
  you're doing, it's very important to do that to the best of your ability
• 46:11
  without judgment with grace.
• 46:13
  I'm going to use the term grace instead of judgment.
• 46:15
  There's judgment or there's grace.
• 46:17
  You know what?
• 46:17
  Maybe I didn't do it.
• 46:18
  Perfect.
• 46:19
  I did it.
• 46:20
  And there are times when now I have data and you have data.
• 46:24
  Now, maybe you know what to do with that data.
• 46:27
  Maybe you don't.
• 46:27
  It's okay, but you will figure it out and you can figure it out on your
• 46:32
  own.
• 46:32
  And there are times also when you feel you're at a state where you would
• 46:36
  like some help from a specific person.
• 46:39
  And again, it brings me back to talking about why I'm so grateful to
• 46:42
  work with you because it is helping me stay on a course, but there's
• 46:47
  the grace there.
• 46:48
  There's no, again, I used to think accountability was like the worst
• 46:51
  thing because it was going to be, I'm not doing it and I would be
• 46:53
  judged for it.
• 46:54
  And I'm going to feel bad.
• 46:54
  That's not what accountability is.
• 46:56
  This is just, Hey, we're checking in.
• 46:58
  Did you do the thing?
• 46:59
  Great. You didn't.
• 46:59
  Let's see how we can tweak it.
• 47:00
  Okay. Go try it again.
• 47:02
  Off you go.
• 47:02
  That was it.
• 47:04
  Great.
• 47:04
  Because to be productive, you can't wallow in.
• 47:07
  And I guess the one thing you can't wallow in the going down
• 47:13
  rabbit holes of I'm not doing this right.
• 47:15
  It's not working.
• 47:16
  So I'm going to do scroll or I'm going to do something non-productive
• 47:19
  that's going to take me out of what I need to do, but it's going
• 47:21
  to make me not feel bad about myself.
• 47:24
  That is very hard to be productive in.
• 47:27
  You also don't want to get too committed to the old plan because
• 47:35
  this is the thing we think like, Oh, I must commit.
• 47:38
  I mustn't.
• 47:39
  I mustn't.
• 47:40
  It's like this weird loyalty to our old ideas rising.
• 47:43
  Oh, I mustn't deviate from the plan.
• 47:45
  No, no, no, no, no.
• 47:47
  We must constantly adjust because you don't want to live in
• 47:51
  the past.
• 47:52
  You don't want to, you know, every moment you are updating.
• 47:56
  You are learning more about yourself.
• 47:58
  You're learning more about what you want to be.
• 47:59
  So don't chase all the squirrels, but also be aware that
• 48:05
  and also actually don't chase all the squirrels and also
• 48:11
  get that from Tif and pick it up with good habits.
• 48:14
  And also be aware that you know more now than you did
• 48:20
  half an hour ago, a day ago, a week ago when you made
• 48:23
  your plan.
• 48:24
  So it makes sense that your plan is going to continue
• 48:26
  to update.
• 48:27
  This is why I don't let speakers use scripts because
• 48:29
  they're like, Oh, but I knew everything two weeks ago.
• 48:33
  You know more now today than you did two weeks ago.
• 48:37
  You know more about your ideal audience.
• 48:39
  You know more about the ideas that you have.
• 48:40
  You know more now you've lived longer.
• 48:43
  So and it's the same with your plans.
• 48:45
  Plans are essential to make because if you don't make
• 48:47
  the plans, you don't know where you are and you
• 48:50
  don't know how to adjust.
• 48:51
  But I do feel like the whole point of a plan is just
• 48:55
  to help you figure out how you're adjusting.
• 48:57
  It's not to follow the plan.
• 48:58
  You know what I mean?
• 49:00
  Oh, that was such a great way of putting it.
• 49:02
  Thank you.
• 49:03
  I love that.
• 49:04
  Right.
• 49:06
  Yes.
• 49:06
  And I love how you're teaching me and your other
• 49:10
  clients about the scriptless speaking because it
• 49:13
  doesn't mean you didn't put any thought into it.
• 49:16
  There is a framework that is flexible.
• 49:20
  Yes.
• 49:21
  It's like a...
• 49:22
  It's an updated plan.
• 49:23
  I could just keep updating the plan.
• 49:25
  You could just keep updating the plan.
• 49:26
  But you did have a plan but it wasn't so rigid
• 49:30
  because the problem for me is that if you have
• 49:33
  such a rigid plan and then you are deviating a bit
• 49:37
  or you can't deviate.
• 49:39
  So it's very scary.
• 49:41
  It's either I absolutely can't or it's going to fall apart
• 49:44
  or I just move it off course.
• 49:45
  Now I fell apart.
• 49:47
  I was like no.
• 49:50
  I just love...
• 49:51
  Yes.
• 49:51
  I just love this conversation.
• 49:52
  It's like oh my gosh.
• 49:53
  We got to be wrapping it up soon.
• 49:54
  It's really about productivity.
• 49:55
  Productivity.
• 49:56
  I wanted to say, so when you said...
• 49:58
  I'm just going to jump in again.
• 50:00
  I've been speaking just about time.
• 50:01
  Jump in, please.
• 50:01
  But I'm going to jump in with some more.
• 50:02
  When you said we're going to be talking about
• 50:04
  productivity today, I went and looked up my
• 50:06
  favorite quote about productivity.
• 50:08
  And it hasn't come up organically yet.
• 50:10
  So I'm just going to force it.
• 50:13
  You're introducing it.
• 50:14
  Thank you.
• 50:14
  I'm a big Hank and John Green fan.
• 50:19
  And Hank Green wrote a book.
• 50:21
  I believe this quote is from a beautifully
• 50:25
  foolish endeavor.
• 50:26
  And I just love this so much.
• 50:28
  And I didn't...
• 50:29
  I haven't read the book.
• 50:30
  I heard it in one of his videos.
• 50:31
  But I just love it so much.
• 50:35
  You will always struggle with not feeling productive
• 50:38
  until you accept that your own joy can be
• 50:42
  something you produce.
• 50:43
  It is not the only thing you make,
• 50:45
  nor should it be.
• 50:47
  But it is something valuable and beautiful.
• 50:51
  Because if we lived in a...
• 50:51
  Now, I'm talking again.
• 50:53
  That was it.
• 50:54
  If we live in a world where the only thing
• 50:56
  we value is stuff we make,
• 50:59
  we're missing the point.
• 51:03
  Experience is a huge part of our life.
• 51:06
  And if you are not experiencing joy,
• 51:08
  if you're not spending time with loved ones,
• 51:09
  if you're not sitting outside and
• 51:13
  feeling the sun on your face and
• 51:14
  the wind on your skin,
• 51:16
  what are you doing?
• 51:22
  That is part of productivity.
• 51:24
  Being alive is the point.
• 51:30
  Making stuff is one of the things that we do.
• 51:34
  But it is not the only thing,
• 51:35
  nor should it be.
• 51:41
  I...
• 51:42
  Well, it was a double mic drop.
• 51:45
  I love your face, too.
• 51:46
  So thank you for the quote.
• 51:47
  And thank you...
• 51:48
  And thank you for...
• 51:50
  Thank you for what you said after.
• 51:51
  And it gave me a giddy feeling because
• 51:59
  I love helping...
• 52:01
  If I can help someone have a great day,
• 52:03
  that just makes me so happy.
• 52:05
  And what does it mean to have a great day?
• 52:07
  Living life is having a great day.
• 52:10
  And productivity is a wonderful part of that.
• 52:12
  And guess what?
• 52:13
  If you can give yourself the glorious choice
• 52:18
  of choosing to have a great day,
• 52:19
  however it fits for you,
• 52:21
  maybe one day you're super productive.
• 52:23
  Maybe one day you need a lot of rest.
• 52:25
  But guess what?
• 52:26
  That's still productive.
• 52:27
  You still had a great day.
• 52:28
  It can still be great.
• 52:30
  It can still be great.
• 52:31
  And it is great.
• 52:31
  And rest and relaxation and reflection
• 52:34
  is also productive in and of itself.
• 52:37
  And it gives you a chance to recharge batteries,
• 52:40
  to go off.
• 52:40
  And if you need to do the quote-unquote
• 52:42
  actionable production thing,
• 52:45
  you can do that.
• 52:46
  Because what?
• 52:47
  Day in, day out, we're living our lives.
• 52:49
  We're doing our best.
• 52:51
  And to enjoy it, to be in joy,
• 52:54
  is to be all the things.
• 52:56
  And that's why I love...
• 52:57
  Yes, to be in joy.
• 52:59
  To enjoy.
• 53:00
  It's all the things.
• 53:02
  The moments where I'm feeling really productive.
• 53:04
  And guess what?
• 53:04
  If there are moments that I'm not feeling productive,
• 53:06
  does that mean I'm not having a great day?
• 53:08
  Oh, no.
• 53:09
  I could choose to just say,
• 53:10
  hey, you know what?
• 53:11
  I'm taking a breather.
• 53:12
  Oh, I really needed that.
• 53:13
  I might need another one.
• 53:15
  And now I'm going to go do something else.
• 53:16
  And I'm still being productive
• 53:18
  because I am in life, living it.
• 53:24
  Whatever you're doing,
• 53:25
  be in life as best you can
• 53:26
  and be in the present moment
• 53:27
  because that's where the power is.
• 53:29
  And that is truly where productivity comes from
• 53:31
  is the power of the present moment.
• 53:35
  Mic drop right there.
• 53:38
  Yes.
• 53:39
  The only thing that I would say
• 53:40
  really takes away from that.
• 53:42
  Because I think there is space
• 53:44
  for most of the things that we do.
• 53:45
  Even some self-destructive behaviors
• 53:47
  are sometimes necessary sometimes.
• 53:51
  But being aware of those
• 53:52
  and I think doom scrolling
• 53:54
  and the things that really,
• 53:56
  the things that lead to your energy
• 53:57
  for no reason,
• 53:59
  I think those are the things
• 54:01
  that are anti-productivity.
• 54:03
  Those are the things that
• 54:04
  I'm doing my best to not do.
• 54:06
  Because if it leads to your energy
• 54:08
  for a good reason,
• 54:09
  like you're helping someone
• 54:10
  and it's exhausting
• 54:11
  but you get something out of it.
• 54:13
  That's a totally different thing.
• 54:15
  But if you are just leeching your energy
• 54:19
  as a form of rest
• 54:21
  and you're actually taking on
• 54:24
  more negative energy
• 54:26
  and you're stressing yourself out
• 54:27
  and it's bad for your body,
• 54:31
  why are you doing that?
• 54:34
  Why?
• 54:36
  If there isn't a good reason,
• 54:37
  don't do it.
• 54:38
  Or do it less.
• 54:40
  Maybe.
• 54:41
  Yes, yes.
• 54:43
  More of the good things,
• 54:45
  less of the things that aren't good
• 54:47
  is what I've been telling myself recently
• 54:49
  because I'm trying to stay out of hyperbaland.
• 54:53
  You should always do this
• 54:54
  and never do that.
• 54:55
  Well, guess what?
• 54:56
  But when I'm in a moment
• 54:57
  and things are feeling really good,
• 54:58
  I am reminding myself more of this, please.
• 55:03
  And if something's happening
• 55:04
  that's not so great,
• 55:06
  I'm simply saying to myself,
• 55:08
  less of this, thank you.
• 55:09
  Well, and sometimes there's something that
• 55:11
  maybe objectively isn't good for you
• 55:14
  but you're getting some sort of satisfaction out of it.
• 55:16
  Sometimes I take little mini-quits sometimes
• 55:18
  where my inner teenager just needs some time
• 55:21
  to just throw stuff
• 55:23
  and have a little temper tantrum.
• 55:25
  I get a lot out of that energetically.
• 55:28
  That actually is a form of rejuvenation for me.
• 55:31
  So within a container
• 55:33
  and in a very specific way,
• 55:35
  it's not doomscrolling.
• 55:37
  But I will consciously go,
• 55:38
  screw the world.
• 55:39
  I don't want to do anything anymore.
• 55:41
  And I'll take like a couple of hours
• 55:42
  and eat popcorn and watch a movie
• 55:45
  and just be in my pajamas and go,
• 55:48
  rah, rah, rah, rah, rah.
• 55:49
  And let out whatever it is I need to let out,
• 55:53
  whatever frustration has built up.
• 55:55
  And it feels self-destructive,
• 55:57
  but afterwards I feel amazing.
• 56:00
  And so that has a point.
• 56:01
  There's a reason for that.
• 56:02
  So I'm not saying that,
• 56:03
  there's a lot of negative activities that we do
• 56:06
  that are actually very good for us
• 56:07
  that we need in small amounts, in small packages,
• 56:10
  but then there are other negative activities
• 56:12
  that aren't good for us
• 56:13
  and we don't get anything from
• 56:14
  and they do just lead to our time.
• 56:15
  So knowing the difference.
• 56:16
  And again, it's all about just communicate with yourself.
• 56:19
  Ask your body,
• 56:20
  what is it I need right now?
• 56:23
  And do your best to be in relationship with that.
• 56:27
  I love this because two words that came up for me
• 56:29
  when you were saying that were,
• 56:31
  there are those sporadic moments
• 56:34
  that is a release.
• 56:35
  Yeah.
• 56:36
  That is, that is necessary for us.
• 56:39
  And that is, that's okay.
• 56:42
  Then there's the chronic.
• 56:44
  And I don't have a good R word for that,
• 56:47
  but there's the chronic consistent
• 56:49
  and it's that leeching that energy.
• 56:54
  So thank you for bringing it.
• 56:55
  Yeah, I know, right?
• 56:56
  Thank you for bringing it down.
• 57:00
  And it's okay to,
• 57:03
  cause I'm always trying,
• 57:04
  I really am trying to be clever with that.
• 57:05
  Oh, I've got the word pops up here.
• 57:06
  Nothing's popping up right now,
• 57:07
  but I love the,
• 57:08
  thank you for bringing up the sporadic.
• 57:11
  Like that moment, like that was a release.
• 57:13
  That was so necessary.
• 57:15
  And we all do it.
• 57:16
  We all have our moments.
• 57:17
  And we're not,
• 57:18
  we're not toxic positivity bubbles.
• 57:20
  We're human beings.
• 57:21
  Human beings include rage,
• 57:25
  anger, despair, sadness, joy,
• 57:29
  love, peace, happiness.
• 57:30
  We're human beings.
• 57:31
  We have all of them inside of us
• 57:32
  and we need to honor all of it.
• 57:34
  So this idea that we can only be productive
• 57:36
  or only be positive all the time,
• 57:39
  that's a very limited way of seeing things.
• 57:41
  I think like what your type of productivity is more,
• 57:45
  positivity rather,
• 57:46
  is more about it's positive as a whole.
• 57:50
  And sometimes I have some very negative things
• 57:54
  that I need to deal with in order to live a positive life.
• 57:57
  And that is part of living a positive life.
• 57:59
  It's not,
• 58:00
  it's not in competition with.
• 58:03
  I love that.
• 58:04
  And I think just a phrase to wrap up this,
• 58:08
  I like the idea of a holistic positivity
• 58:10
  and it does include productivity
• 58:11
  and it includes rest, relaxation and reflection.
• 58:15
  And we have had so many great reflections today.
• 58:17
  Danielle, I just,
• 58:18
  I just can't thank you enough.
• 58:20
  This has been amazing.
• 58:22
  Thank you.
• 58:24
  Thank you.
• 58:25
  This is awesome.