Latest / Marriage Life and More and Bible Study / 3 Keys to Help Strengthen Intimacy as a Couple Pt 2 (Marriage Reset Series) - 275

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3 Keys to Help Strengthen Intimacy as a Couple Pt 2 (Marriage Reset Series) - 275 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:06
  Daniel Moore: You know it's funny, we all say we want intimacy, but what we really mean is I want you to see all the best parts of me and let's pretend the rest doesn't exist.
• 0:16
  Daniel Moore: But true intimacy, the real into me see kind of closeness, goes much deeper than that.
• 0:24
  Daniel Moore: It's about being fully known, seen, and loved anyway.
• 0:27
  Daniel Moore: And when it comes to marriage, that desire for connection extends beyond emotions or physical closeness.
• 0:33
  Daniel Moore: It's spiritual.
• 0:35
  Daniel Moore: God designed marriage to be a place where two people grow closer to Him as they grow closer to each other.
• 0:41
  Daniel Moore: But let's be honest, building that kind of spiritual connection can sometimes feel like trying to assemble furniture in a box without the instructions.
• 0:49
  Daniel Moore: You know it's supposed to come together beautifully, but somehow you end up frustrated, missing a few pieces, and wondering who's to blame in the whole situation, even though you might not have read the instructions.
• 0:59
  Daniel Moore: Growing up, I remember watching Sunday morning cartoons, Loonytoon, Scooby-Doo, The Smurfs, but sometimes before the TV came on, I'd find my dad already up kneeling in prayer reading his Bible.
• 1:10
  Daniel Moore: My parents both had deep personal faith, but I never really saw how they connected spiritually together.
• 1:17
  Daniel Moore: Looking back, that's something I think a lot of us can relate to.
• 1:21
  Daniel Moore: We enter marriage loving Jesus and loving our spouse, but not always knowing how to bring those two loves together.
• 1:27
  Daniel Moore: Well in today's episode, we're going to continue where we started at last week, and we're going to unpack what that actually looks like, how to move beyond parallel faith lives and into a shared spiritual journey that draws you closer to God and to one another.
• 1:43
  Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:54
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies, and we interview people that have inspiring stories.
• 1:59
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host, and over here sitting next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
• 2:05
  Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
• 2:06
  Daniel Moore: Want to thank you guys for joining us this week.
• 2:07
  Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriagelifeandmore.com.
• 2:11
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• 2:15
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• 2:18
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• 2:23
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• 2:25
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• 2:30
  Daniel Moore: And we'd be grateful to you for doing that.
• 2:33
  Daniel Moore: Also, our new book is out Marriage is a Mission, Living Out God's Design for Marriage.
• 2:37
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• 2:42
  Daniel Moore: In addition, you can also get it in a hardback format in Kindle, and we have a six-session study guide that you can purchase exclusively on Amazon.
• 2:51
  Daniel Moore: So go pick yours up today.
• 2:53
  Daniel Moore: Well, last week we started an episode, it was episode eight.
• 2:58
  Daniel Moore: It was three keys to help strengthen intimacy as a couple.
• 3:03
  Daniel Moore: And last week we got through some barriers that we have to get through or some things that can cause us to have problems connecting spiritually as couples.
• 3:13
  Daniel Moore: And we got through several of those.
• 3:16
  Daniel Moore: Well, this week we're going to talk about shared spiritual intimacy.
• 3:19
  Daniel Moore: And we have uh part two coming your way this week of episode eight.
• 3:24
  Daniel Moore: At our core, we all crave to be truly known.
• 3:36
  Daniel Moore: We long for someone to see us wholly and deeply.
• 3:40
  Daniel Moore: That's really what intimacy is, opening up the most personal parts of ourselves.
• 3:46
  Daniel Moore: As the phrase playfully suggests of shared spiritual intimacy, intimate is like saying, into me see.
• 3:53
  Daniel Moore: When it comes to spiritual connection and marriage, we believe it's built on two key foundations first, walking with God together as a couple, and second, sharing the personal details of your spiritual life with one another.
• 4:07
  Daniel Moore: But achieving that kind of spiritual closeness, it's not always very easy.
• 4:13
  Daniel Moore: Growing up, some of my best memories were watching Saturday morning cartoons.
• 4:17
  Daniel Moore: I'd roll out of bed, head straight for the television, ready for an early lineup of Looney Tunes, Scooby-Doo and my favorites like the Smurfs and Alvin and the Chipmunks.
• 4:26
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes on the way to the living room, I'd find my dad in there kneeling in prayer, reading his Bible quietly in his chair.
• 4:32
  Daniel Moore: He had a genuine and consistent walk with God, one that I deeply admired.
• 4:37
  Daniel Moore: My mom also had a strong faith, but despite their individual devotion, I never really saw how they connected spiritually as a couple.
• 4:45
  Daniel Moore: I'm sure they shared a deeply rooted faith, but I don't know how they expressed or nurtured that connection together.
• 4:52
  Daniel Moore: I had no real role model for what a shared spiritual relationship between spouses looked like.
• 4:58
  Daniel Moore: In our own marriage, Michelle and I are very aware of how vital it is to grow spiritually as a team, but honestly, it has felt a bit like a roller coaster ride at some times.
• 5:10
  Daniel Moore: There are seasons when we're spiritually in sync, when it feels like we're walking with God side by side.
• 5:16
  Daniel Moore: But then there were also seasons of disconnection, times when we both fell short.
• 5:21
  Daniel Moore: Other times I have felt frustrated with Michelle or hurt by something between us, and in those moments the idea of spiritual connection feels miles away.
• 5:30
  Daniel Moore: You know, like many couples, we walked into our marriage without a clear sense of how a spiritual shared relationship was supposed to work.
• 5:39
  Daniel Moore: But over time, we have discovered three key experiences to help strengthen our spiritual intimacy as a couple.
• 5:47
  Daniel Moore: So as we get started this week, uh Michelle, when you grew up and and had your walk with God and all the things that happened, do you feel like the what kind of a role model or what kind of uh experience did you have growing up?
• 6:03
  Daniel Moore: Did you do you feel like you had a good example really of the intimacy, the spiritual intimacy and that kind of thing?
• 6:10
  Michelle Moore: I didn't have one.
• 6:12
  Michelle Moore: I mean, my mom, my mom and dad went to church and they took us to church, but the one thing I can remember is always in the morning, my mom always praying on her knees praying and um reading her Bible.
• 6:27
  Michelle Moore: But I never ever seen my dad.
• 6:30
  Michelle Moore: I I I mean, I guess occasionally I would see his Bible out and him reading, but not consistently.
• 6:35
  Michelle Moore: And so I didn't never see that connection between the two of them.
• 6:40
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 6:40
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, with me, like I mentioned last week, you know, I grew up in a very legalistic type environment.
• 6:48
  Daniel Moore: And it was kind of volatile at times because my dad kind of pretty much grew up in church where my mom didn't.
• 6:56
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, even as a marriage model, and I think I've talked about this before a few times, I really didn't have a very good marriage model growing up, really.
• 7:04
  Daniel Moore: Uh, there was times that even, you know, they would clash and they would use faith and God and church to fight against each other.
• 7:12
  Daniel Moore: You know, it's like my mom knew where to pull the triggers to push the buttons on my dad, and my dad would get mad about those buttons being pushed because you know, he was very adamant with his beliefs and how he felt like that God wanted to live as a family and all the the rules and regulations and all the stuff that goes into that.
• 7:35
  Daniel Moore: And that's a dangerous place to be, especially when your kids are watching.
• 7:39
  Daniel Moore: You know, it's like we all seen I've got three siblings and growing up we all seen that and actually make jokes about it today, you know.
• 7:49
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes when we're talking about that kind of thing, which isn't good, shouldn't make jokes about it, but it's uh that's the that's kind of what it does though to kids when they see that kind of thing.
• 8:02
  Daniel Moore: Um, it's it's not good.
• 8:04
  Daniel Moore: You know, I think, and even you and I, we didn't really model that very well with our kids at all.
• 8:10
  Daniel Moore: There were times that we tried to do start devotions with the kids.
• 8:14
  Daniel Moore: I remember trying to do that a few times, but it never seemed to stick.
• 8:17
  Daniel Moore: And I think a lot of that probably was because in our earlier marriage years when the kids were younger, we had those issues between you and I.
• 8:26
  Daniel Moore: And so it was hard for us because we already didn't have a very good foundation or a solid connection spiritually in that area, and that made it hard for us to then want to, you know, bring our kids up in it because we couldn't even model it.
• 8:40
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 8:40
  Daniel Moore: What do you think?
• 8:41
  Michelle Moore: No, I would agree 100% with that.
• 8:44
  Daniel Moore: It's hard.
• 8:45
  Michelle Moore: It is.
• 8:45
  Daniel Moore: I mean, I'm not gonna sit here and say that this is something super simple, snap your finger and it's done.
• 8:49
  Daniel Moore: Um, this is a hard thing to do.
• 8:51
  Daniel Moore: You've got to be sold out and you've got to be consistent and really want to make sure that your kids know God.
• 8:58
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 8:59
  Daniel Moore: And but you need to know him first too.
• 9:02
  Michelle Moore: Uh you know, I would say that you need to know him first.
• 9:05
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, we're the teachers.
• 9:06
  Daniel Moore: Yes.
• 9:06
  Daniel Moore: And so our kids need to be able to see that model in front of them, exactly.
• 9:12
  Daniel Moore: And so it is hard to do that model, but we've got some things here that we want to bring to light that maybe if you're trying to think, well, you know, what's the best way that I can live a model between me and my spouse to make sure that these spiritual disciplines are taken care of.
• 9:29
  Daniel Moore: And so, Michelle, I'm gonna go ahead and have you share the first one here.
• 9:34
  Daniel Moore: Uh, these this we're gonna talk about three key experiences to help strengthen spiritual intimity as a couple, and this is the first one.
• 9:41
  Michelle Moore: Um, it's daily disciplines.
• 9:44
  Michelle Moore: 2 Peter 3.18 encourages us to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
• 9:52
  Michelle Moore: One of the best ways for couples to support one another in that growth is by sharing regular spiritual practices.
• 9:59
  Michelle Moore: These daily habits create shared moments that foster spiritual development and a deeper connection.
• 10:06
  Michelle Moore: It is difficult to experience spiritual unity when one partner is growing while the other feels stuck or stagnant, which is why engaging in shared routines that promote growth is so important.
• 10:19
  Michelle Moore: Researchers have found that couples who share the same beliefs and consistently attend church together tend to report higher levels of marital satisfaction.
• 10:29
  Michelle Moore: But even more compelling was this when couples brought the spiritual practices into their home, reading scripture together or spending time in prayer, their relationship satisfaction scores were even greater.
• 10:43
  Michelle Moore: That says a lot about the power of shared faith practices in a building of strong, faithful and fulfilling marriage.
• 10:52
  Michelle Moore: To reach those high levels of marriage satisfaction, we need regular experiences like studying the Bible, memorizing scripture, fasting, listening to praise and worship music.
• 11:08
  Michelle Moore: That's one of my faves, reading a devotional, listening to a sermon podcast, another one of my faves, sharing about your own spiritual journey and praying together, one of my faves.
• 11:21
  Michelle Moore: About prayer.
• 11:23
  Michelle Moore: Praying together is so important to spiritual unity that we need to say a bit more about it.
• 11:29
  Michelle Moore: According to one study, regularly praying for your spouse has a profound effect on your own behavior toward your spouse.
• 11:38
  Michelle Moore: The researchers found that praying for your spouse leads to more cooperative and forgiving behavior toward that spouse.
• 11:47
  Michelle Moore: As Brad Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia explains previous studies showed that prayer helps couples deal with stress, enables them to focus on shared beliefs and hopes for the future, and allows them to deal with constructively with challenges and problems in their relationship and in their lives.
• 12:12
  Michelle Moore: In fact, we find that shared prayer is the most powerful religious predictor of relationship quality among couples, more powerful than denomination, religious attendance, or shared religious friendships in simple terms.
• 12:29
  Michelle Moore: The couple that prays together flourishes together.
• 12:33
  Michelle Moore: We get that.
• 12:45
  Michelle Moore: The point isn't to overwhelm you with spiritual to-do list or make you feel guilty for not doing more.
• 12:53
  Michelle Moore: Instead, think of these as small intentional choices that can lead to a deeper spiritual connection over time.
• 13:01
  Michelle Moore: Work together to pick one or two practices that actually fit into your current rhythm of life.
• 13:08
  Michelle Moore: These simple habits will help you stay spiritually connected and continually grow more like Christ.
• 13:15
  Michelle Moore: If we could only choose one daily practice to prioritize, it would be praying together.
• 13:22
  Michelle Moore: Making that a regular part of your marriage can have a powerful impact and lay the foundation for lasting spiritual closeness.
• 13:31
  Michelle Moore: And I mean, from our example, when the last five, six years of our marriage, that has been one of the things that we go to.
• 13:42
  Daniel Moore: I like how a lot of times if you're not feeling well, you still fight migraines occasionally and that kind of thing.
• 13:48
  Daniel Moore: You always have.
• 13:49
  Daniel Moore: That's another thing that I like about you and I.
• 14:44
  Daniel Moore: There's times that you lead the prayer, and there's times that I lead the prayer, and we pray together as we do that.
• 14:52
  Daniel Moore: But I think it's so important, you know.
• 14:54
  Daniel Moore: I've that's one thing that I always enjoy and cherish is listening to you pray over me and our family and the different things that you always integrate into your prayers because I think that's super important for both spouses to exercise that on a regular basis.
• 15:10
  Michelle Moore: But it's taken me a long time to get there.
• 15:12
  Michelle Moore: I have always felt inferior to Dan because the way he grew up and his prayers are so good that there are times that I mean, let's just cut to the chase.
• 15:23
  Michelle Moore: There are people out there that just pray phenomenally.
• 15:26
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, and uh we're our own worst critic, and I'm short and sweet.
• 15:31
  Michelle Moore: Dan's long and sweet, let's just put it that way.
• 15:35
  Michelle Moore: I I so when he prays, I'm like, oh my gosh, that's such a good prayer.
• 15:39
  Michelle Moore: I'm not, you know, I can't do that.
• 15:41
  Michelle Moore: But you know what?
• 15:43
  Michelle Moore: It's taught me God has taught me that my prayers are heard.
• 15:47
  Michelle Moore: It doesn't matter whether they're short and sweet or they're long, it does not matter.
• 15:52
  Michelle Moore: And, you know, now it's like I don't really care what you think.
• 15:55
  Michelle Moore: All I care is what God hears, you know.
• 15:57
  Michelle Moore: And it's like, you know, so I know that there are couples out there thinking, I'm not I can't pray.
• 16:03
  Michelle Moore: Just get past that, you know, because God, there is no written manual on how to pray.
• 16:11
  Daniel Moore: No, you know, and honestly, God's or I guess Jesus, his uh go-to in the Bible is the Lord's Prayer.
• 16:18
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 16:18
  Daniel Moore: That was his model for praying, and it's not long.
• 16:22
  Daniel Moore: No, it's a short prayer.
• 16:23
  Daniel Moore: And I'm glad you brought that up because you're right.
• 16:28
  Daniel Moore: A lot of people pray in different ways.
• 16:29
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 16:30
  Daniel Moore: And I think what you have to just be careful of, especially if you're praying out loud and you're praying, you know, over a in front of a group or whatever, hit the highlights and make sure you hit all the points and bring up what needs to be prayed for and that kind of thing, but then don't trail off into rabbit trails with your prayers because that can definitely that's actually unscriptural.
• 16:50
  Daniel Moore: And the Bible speaks against that.
• 16:53
  Daniel Moore: You know, make sure that your your prayers are solid and effective and fervent.
• 16:56
  Daniel Moore: And there is a way to there is a model for praying that's been set forth in the word, and we're not going to get into that today.
• 17:03
  Daniel Moore: Uh, but it's very important as couples with within your family that you have two good praying spouses.
• 17:09
  Daniel Moore: Absolutely.
• 17:10
  Daniel Moore: And both of the different spouses that bring in the difference in prayers makes the whole thing mesh.
• 17:16
  Daniel Moore: You know, that's that's what's so beautiful about the whole thing is two different people are different, and it's awesome to see how they approach things in their own way.
• 17:25
  Michelle Moore: Absolutely.
• 17:26
  Daniel Moore: It's just important that you do it.
• 17:27
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, that's the importance of it.
• 17:29
  Daniel Moore: And I like their little list up there too.
• 17:31
  Daniel Moore: Just I'm I'm with you.
• 17:33
  Daniel Moore: You know, I've kind of gotten where I don't hardly listen to radio at all anymore.
• 17:36
  Daniel Moore: I pretty much have podcasts on non-stop in my vehicle.
• 17:40
  Daniel Moore: My my phone automatically connects when I turn my truck on and it plays until I get to my destination and then stops and picks back up where it left off when I leave again.
• 17:49
  Daniel Moore: That's my whole go-to.
• 17:50
  Daniel Moore: You do listen to a lot of praise and worship music.
• 17:53
  Michelle Moore: I love praise and worship.
• 17:54
  Daniel Moore: And I love praise and worship music, but I'm more into the podcasting right at the moment.
• 17:58
  Daniel Moore: Uh, and then, you know, otherwise, I just I do a lot of Bible study and you know, writing stuff.
• 18:05
  Daniel Moore: There's a lot going on in my life right now with a lot of that kind of thing, but find your niche.
• 18:10
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 18:11
  Daniel Moore: You know, find what it is that you can be solid in and dedicate yourself to that.
• 18:16
  Daniel Moore: Ask God to help you to uh to be the best that you can be as a prayer warrior, as a Bible reader, just you know, praying together, whatever it takes, just ask God to be in the middle of that.
• 18:27
  Michelle Moore: And listen to a podcast together.
• 18:29
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, talk about it, you know.
• 18:31
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 18:31
  Michelle Moore: And um, I mean, I think that's it's really good that both of you guys, you know, take something from this list and you know, try it together.
• 18:39
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, it doesn't have to be daily, you know, start slow.
• 18:53
  Daniel Moore: So the second experience to help strengthen our spiritual intimacy as a couple is weekly fellowship.
• 19:01
  Daniel Moore: You know, Hebrews chapter 10, 24 and 25 encourages us to find ways to motivate one another toward love and good deeds, stressing the importance of gathering regularly and offering support, especially as the return of Christ approaches.
• 19:13
  Daniel Moore: Weekly connection with other believers isn't just about routine, it's about community worship and strengthening our faith together.
• 19:19
  Daniel Moore: Interestingly, research shows that couples who make regular church attendance a priority are not only more spiritually engaged, but they also tend to have stronger, happier marriages.
• 19:30
  Daniel Moore: In fact, those who attend frequently are about 30 to 50 percent less likely to experience divorce compared to couples who rarely or never attend.
• 19:38
  Daniel Moore: Showing up in community matters for your faith and your relationship.
• 19:43
  Daniel Moore: A Harvard researcher, Tyler J.
• 19:45
  Daniel Moore: Vanderwill, explains it this way.
• 19:47
  Daniel Moore: Our research links religious service attendance to a number of better health outcomes, including longer life, lower incidence of depression, and less suicide.
• 19:58
  Daniel Moore: Our work also indicates that religious service attendance in association with our work also indicates that religious service attendance is associated with greater marital stability, or more specifically, with a lower likelihood of divorce.
• 20:13
  Daniel Moore: Vanderwill points out that faith communities often offer a variety of supports designed to strengthen families.
• 20:20
  Daniel Moore: These may include spaces for families to connect and form relationships, programs for children, marriage retreats, premarital and marital counseling, and workshops that promote healthy relationships.
• 20:32
  Daniel Moore: Being plugged into a spiritual community can significantly benefit your marriage.
• 20:36
  Daniel Moore: To continue building a strong marriage and grow in spiritual unity, it's important to engage regularly in activities like worship services, small groups, Bible studies, prayer gatherings, or Sunday classes.
• 20:49
  Daniel Moore: Throughout our own marriage, we've consistently participated in a small group with several other couples.
• 20:55
  Daniel Moore: And why is this so helpful?
• 20:57
  Daniel Moore: Because weekly fellowship or bi-weekly fellowship brings consistent Christian encouragement to your relationship.
• 21:02
  Daniel Moore: It places you among trusted friends who are committed to supporting your walk with God and your marriage through prayer wisdom and mutual growth.
• 21:10
  Daniel Moore: So make it a priority to build meaningful relationships with other believers.
• 21:14
  Daniel Moore: As Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 12 reminds us, we are stronger together.
• 21:19
  Daniel Moore: When one person falls, another can lift them up.
• 21:23
  Daniel Moore: And a relationship that includes God, like a cord of three strands, is not easily broken.
• 21:28
  Daniel Moore: Community brings strength, encouragement, and accountability, which are all vital for growing closer, both spiritually and relationally.
• 21:35
  Daniel Moore: What do you think about that?
• 21:38
  Michelle Moore: You asked me these, and I'm just like, I like that.
• 21:40
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 21:41
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, what do you want me to say?
• 21:44
  Michelle Moore: Because I'm like, that's so good.
• 21:46
  Michelle Moore: I mean, honestly, we had a life group that we did um for a couple of years, and then we attended one.
• 21:54
  Michelle Moore: And I think a life group um and do those weekly fellowships are so important.
• 21:59
  Michelle Moore: Um, not only one, you're all praying for each other, but you're investing in each other's lives.
• 22:06
  Michelle Moore: And, you know, you're being um lifted up, encouraged, prayed for.
• 22:15
  Michelle Moore: Um you gain a relationship, a friend that, you know, God has placed in your life for a season, or you know, I think it's very, very important for a couple, um, especially to have other Christian couples that, you know, whether it may be an individual or a couple, um, I feel like life groups are very, very important.
• 22:37
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 22:37
  Daniel Moore: And especially during times uh for for sure, like you mentioned and we were reading here of having prayer backup.
• 22:47
  Daniel Moore: Uh it's one thing for me and you to pray for each other over stuff, and we should be doing that.
• 22:52
  Daniel Moore: That's very important.
• 22:54
  Daniel Moore: But there's strength in numbers.
• 22:56
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Michelle Moore: I have a group of uh I have a group of friends.
• 22:59
  Michelle Moore: Let me be able to talk here.
• 23:01
  Michelle Moore: Um I have a great group of women that I can go to.
• 23:04
  Michelle Moore: I reach out and I'm like, please pray for me.
• 23:07
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 23:07
  Michelle Moore: You know, and you know, sometimes I just I choose my friends uh as in I choose who I tell things to.
• 23:17
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 23:17
  Michelle Moore: But I open up um some very personal stuff.
• 23:22
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 23:22
  Michelle Moore: And you know, life group, when you do life together, you're being real.
• 23:26
  Michelle Moore: So when you're being real, you know, they know you're you what you're walking through.
• 23:32
  Michelle Moore: So but I mean when I have those personal things, I'm not gonna go post it over Facebook.
• 23:39
  Michelle Moore: I'm not gonna go run my mouth and you know, all that stuff.
• 23:42
  Michelle Moore: I I select those friends very closely to my heart.
• 23:49
  Michelle Moore: I take it in and I'm like, okay, I know for a fact they're gonna pray for me.
• 23:53
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 23:54
  Daniel Moore: And you meet those friends usually at church.
• 23:57
  Daniel Moore: So that's why it's so important to be in church because I know a lot of people will say, Well, you know, I don't go on a regular basis, I just do my Bible time at home and my prayer time at home, and you know, I don't have to go to church, and I understand what they're saying, but I think it's harder.
• 24:13
  Daniel Moore: I know I know for myself, even as strong of a Christian as I am, if I didn't make church a regular part of my life, I would probably struggle.
• 24:22
  Daniel Moore: I really think I would because the Bible specifically says we need community.
• 24:27
  Michelle Moore: Yes.
• 24:27
  Daniel Moore: It says that we need to be having fellowship with each other.
• 24:30
  Daniel Moore: That is the way God designed it.
• 24:32
  Michelle Moore: But I do think that there are times that you for for example, you have older people that can't get out.
• 24:40
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 24:40
  Michelle Moore: You have people that with disabilities who can't get out or can't handle, you know, the services.
• 24:47
  Michelle Moore: I think there are times that there are gonna be people that experience and not having that community, but if you are, try to find a church online, get involved in an online community, make sure you have friends that are coming checking on you and that will pray for you.
• 25:05
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 25:06
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 25:06
  Daniel Moore: If you're able to attend, you need to be there.
• 25:09
  Daniel Moore: That's just it's biblical.
• 25:10
  Daniel Moore: That's the way God wants it to be.
• 25:12
  Daniel Moore: He put all of us together to support each other.
• 25:15
  Daniel Moore: And that's, you know, that that community means so much.
• 25:18
  Daniel Moore: When we have bad times, uh, when bad times hit us, uh that you know, right now the big argument's going on with the the government shutdown.
• 25:26
  Daniel Moore: The government should be supplying this, supplying that.
• 25:28
  Daniel Moore: They're not paying for uh these these things anymore.
• 25:31
  Daniel Moore: Well, the original intention of that, the church was supposed to be the ones supplying that, not the government.
• 25:36
  Daniel Moore: And that was the whole thing from the very beginning, and that's biblical.
• 25:39
  Daniel Moore: That's the way when you talk about when you read about the church and the Bible, that is the purpose of the church is to build the saints, to build the kingdom, and to support each other during time of need.
• 25:50
  Daniel Moore: Yes, that's the whole purpose of it.
• 25:52
  Daniel Moore: And now this whole thing's been distorted where the government now takes care of us in all these different ways, and that's great, but at the same time, God wants us to be self-sufficient within ourselves, relying on Him to meet our needs.
• 26:05
  Daniel Moore: And then for Him to meet our needs, an extension of that is the church.
• 26:09
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 26:09
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, so that's one another good reason to make sure that you're a part of a good Bible-believing church is when you do fall on hard times and you you start having difficulties with things or whatever, that you have a community that can come around you.
• 26:23
  Daniel Moore: Absolutely.
• 26:23
  Daniel Moore: Because other people may be doing really well and they can help the ones that are not, you know, doing so great.
• 26:28
  Daniel Moore: Later on, you get back on your feet, you can help somebody that's at hit a hit a low time in their life, you know.
• 26:34
  Daniel Moore: So there's just a lot of things that goes into that.
• 26:37
  Daniel Moore: And you can argue with me all you want, but I'm gonna throw all kinds of scriptures at you if you come back and argue with me about why we need to be in a community and in a church environment on a regular basis as a Christian.
• 26:48
  Daniel Moore: That's very biblical, it's always been biblical, and that's the way it, you know, Jesus kept 12 disciples around him for a reason.
• 26:56
  Daniel Moore: He didn't do that walk all by himself.
• 26:58
  Daniel Moore: He had 12 disciples there that was his community that followed him everywhere he went until he went back to heaven and sent them out to evangelize the world.
• 27:07
  Daniel Moore: And that's a model of community.
• 27:10
  Daniel Moore: That's a model of having, and you'll you'll see all through the New Testament where the churches they would try to come together, people's homes and upper rooms, just wherever it may have been, they were always trying to get together.
• 27:21
  Daniel Moore: And there is a strength in that.
• 27:23
  Daniel Moore: Okay, so Michelle, go ahead and share the third one with us.
• 27:27
  Michelle Moore: That would be service adventure.
• 27:29
  Michelle Moore: When scripture speaks of becoming one flesh in marriage, it's describing more than just physical or emotional closeness.
• 27:37
  Michelle Moore: It's about entering into a sacred covenant with God.
• 27:40
  Michelle Moore: This commitment binds a husband and a wife together in a relationship that is both permanent and purposeful.
• 27:48
  Michelle Moore: The idea of being joined together reflects the kind of unbreakable bond that grows over time through trust, partnership, and shared mission.
• 27:57
  Michelle Moore: But there's also another dimension into this unity, what we might call spiritual synergy.
• 28:04
  Michelle Moore: It's when two people use their individual strengths, gifts, and passions to achieve something greater together than they ever could alone.
• 28:13
  Michelle Moore: It's the principle that the combined effort of two committed individuals reproduct than the sum of their individual contributions.
• 28:23
  Michelle Moore: When a married couple lives out this energy, they walk in the fullness of God's design, working together as a unified team.
• 28:31
  Michelle Moore: Jesus commands in Matthew 28, 19, go and make disciples of all nations.
• 28:39
  Michelle Moore: One powerful way to grow in spiritual intimacy is by fulfilling that call, serving side by side for a greater purpose.
• 28:48
  Michelle Moore: If someone would ask me, What is your favorite experience as a couple, I would have to say it's when Daniel and I get to serve in ministry together.
• 28:57
  Michelle Moore: There's something incredibly bonding about serving God as a couple.
• 29:01
  Michelle Moore: Whether we're recording one of our marriage podcast episodes or working together behind the scenes, I feel a deep spiritual connection with Daniel in those moments.
• 29:11
  Michelle Moore: It is a powerful kind of intimacy that comes from doing kingdom work together.
• 29:15
  Michelle Moore: Dill and Susan Mathis explain the power of serving together as a couple.
• 29:21
  Michelle Moore: There's a sweet intimacy that comes with working together on a service project or giving together to those in need.
• 29:29
  Michelle Moore: Couples who embrace God's call to serve others experience an added closeness, and there are special moments and memories that naturally come when you do things together.
• 29:39
  Michelle Moore: Moreover, participating together in the ministry opportunities, whether in your church, neighborhood, community, or the world, can also help you to grow in your faith as a couple.
• 29:51
  Michelle Moore: Working side by side to fill the greater commission in whatever capacity deepens your spiritual intimacy.
• 29:59
  Michelle Moore: Like little else can.
• 30:01
  Michelle Moore: Being the Lord's witnesses by serving, giving, encouraging, caring, and loving as Jesus loved is rewarded beyond words.
• 30:11
  Michelle Moore: We need to consistently create opportunities where we can serve together in meaningful ways, such as joining a local outreach to feed the homeless, assisting the youth programs or mentoring teams, organizing a community cleanup effort, helping plan and host a church retreat or a small group study, supporting families with special needs children by offering a break.
• 30:38
  Michelle Moore: Oh, that makes me want to cry.
• 30:41
  Michelle Moore: Serving together in any of these ways can lead to deeper connection with Christ while also strengthening the bond between you as a couple.
• 30:49
  Michelle Moore: These shared moments bring vitality to your relationship, help you see life through a broader lens, and provide a powerful spoon spiritual reset.
• 31:00
  Michelle Moore: They push you beyond your routine, foster deeper gratitude, and shift your focus beyond your daily frustrations.
• 31:07
  Michelle Moore: When you and your spouse step into something that stretches your faith and benefits others, it leads to powerful growth, both individually and together.
• 31:17
  Michelle Moore: Look for a cause that you both care about deeply, something that aligns with your values and has an impact beyond yourselves.
• 31:26
  Michelle Moore: In doing this, you not only serve others, but also build a lasting spiritual closeness.
• 31:32
  Michelle Moore: We'll dive more into how to shape a shared vision for your marriage in episode twelve.
• 31:39
  Daniel Moore: So this is the third way here by serving together.
• 31:43
  Michelle Moore: I love that.
• 31:44
  Daniel Moore: And you and I have had both sides of this coin several times or a couple of times.
• 31:50
  Daniel Moore: Uh the last church that we attended, our serving was actually completely separated for the most part.
• 31:57
  Daniel Moore: I was on the praise team and was the drummer, and so I pretty much had to be available through the whole service to be up on stage, basically.
• 32:08
  Daniel Moore: And so you did some greeting and different kinds of things that you that you dined.
• 32:13
  Daniel Moore: But because I drummed every Sunday and every Wednesday night, or whenever we'd have services, I was up there on stage drumming.
• 32:20
  Daniel Moore: We never really got to serve together, hardly ever.
• 32:23
  Daniel Moore: Uh, we did the the life group.
• 32:25
  Daniel Moore: Uh we did do a life group for five years there for college age with another couple, uh Scotty and Vicki Albius, who's actually been on our podcast before.
• 32:34
  Daniel Moore: They've done three episodes with us last year.
• 32:36
  Daniel Moore: Uh that's about the only thing that we did.
• 32:39
  Daniel Moore: And so when we switched churches and God moved us to a new place, the opportunity opened up for us to serve together.
• 32:48
  Daniel Moore: And I want you to describe the difference of how you felt about how it was before and then what you think it's like now.
• 32:57
  Daniel Moore: What what are the differences between the two that you see since you experienced it both ways?
• 33:02
  Daniel Moore: And which way do you like the best or do you think benefits the best?
• 33:06
  Michelle Moore: Well, obviously I like serving together.
• 33:08
  Daniel Moore: Okay.
• 33:08
  Michelle Moore: But I will tell you the first time you know we served together, I have yearned for that for so long that, you know, God knew my heart.
• 33:19
  Michelle Moore: And I knew that God had Dan on the platform up there behind the drums for a reason.
• 33:26
  Michelle Moore: He used him for that purpose up there.
• 33:28
  Michelle Moore: And so, so there was times that I I mean, I would be out there in in the audience and be like, Oh, I wish he was here enjoying this praise and worship.
• 33:38
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, man, you missed it.
• 33:40
  Michelle Moore: And he's like, Oh no, God, God worked me on, worked on me while I was up there, and he's like, he's using me.
• 33:46
  Michelle Moore: He's like, I felt it.
• 33:47
  Michelle Moore: And like, so it was so exciting to see God use him in that area.
• 33:52
  Michelle Moore: So when we moved to the other church, I just assumed, okay, he's just gonna do his own thing, and which we did.
• 33:59
  Michelle Moore: We first started out, like, you know, he'd serve in security and I was in hosting, and you know, but it was so odd because when we were in service for the first time together, I'm like, I look over at him and I'm like, Who is this?
• 34:15
  Michelle Moore: I'm like, you need to move away from me.
• 34:17
  Michelle Moore: Because it it it just after 12 years, I was not used to it.
• 34:22
  Michelle Moore: And but you know, him singing, just him praying and in his prayer language, I'm like, you're being too loud, like seriously, you know, and it it was, it was hard at first for me.
• 34:35
  Michelle Moore: And then it was like, I am absolutely loving this.
• 34:38
  Michelle Moore: And so then we got the opportunity to serve in connection, uh, connections, and um it warmed my heart dearly to be able to stand there and greet people.
• 34:52
  Michelle Moore: And is that Daniel's cup of tea?
• 34:55
  Michelle Moore: Probably not.
• 34:56
  Michelle Moore: Has he grown and talks more than me?
• 35:00
  Michelle Moore: Yes, absolutely.
• 35:02
  Michelle Moore: God has used him, and I'm like, now I'm like quit talking, let's go, you know, and it's just so different.
• 35:08
  Michelle Moore: But yet, God fulfilled one of my dreams of serving together with him and then comes along the podcast.
• 35:16
  Michelle Moore: And so now it's like a deeper intimate relationship between the two of us when we serve together, because not only is it we had a one purpose, like he had a purpose, I had a purpose.
• 35:29
  Michelle Moore: Now we have like a one purpose together.
• 35:31
  Michelle Moore: And it's so hard to explain.
• 35:34
  Michelle Moore: But for some of you spouses out there that actually serve together, you know what I'm talking about.
• 35:39
  Michelle Moore: There's just a different kind of atmosphere when your spouse is next to you and loving what they're doing and you're loving what they're doing and loving what you're doing at the same time.
• 35:51
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 35:51
  Michelle Moore: Um it's so encouraging too.
• 35:54
  Michelle Moore: Um, I know there's been times I've relied on you, you know, like if we're in connections and someone needs prayer, you know, and if it's a mail or whatever comes up and you know, you're right there with me.
• 36:04
  Michelle Moore: And, you know, we pray for that person and everything.
• 36:07
  Michelle Moore: And it's it showed me how God can use you in different ways, and I'm sure vice versa with me.
• 36:14
  Michelle Moore: But now it's like I love it.
• 36:17
  Michelle Moore: But I will say the podcast serving together and doing the podcast has been such a deeper level for both of us because we're learning together as we go through this, um, and we laugh about things because we're like, ugh, well, that would have helped like 15 years ago, you know.
• 36:36
  Michelle Moore: But I mean, we pray together.
• 36:39
  Michelle Moore: I mean, it has just grown us as a couple tremendously.
• 36:46
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, and I'm so thankful God knew my heart where I I yearn for that and he answered it.
• 36:52
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 36:52
  Daniel Moore: And I, you know, I echo all of that.
• 36:55
  Daniel Moore: I never realized how I would feel about serving together until we finally was able to do it.
• 37:02
  Daniel Moore: And then I seen how fulfilling that it actually is.
• 37:07
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, people come up all the time.
• 37:09
  Daniel Moore: If you're not there right next to me at the connections desk or whatever, where's Michelle?
• 37:13
  Daniel Moore: You know, I need to talk to Michelle.
• 37:15
  Daniel Moore: And I'll go, oh, she's right over there.
• 37:16
  Daniel Moore: You know, then you'll come back over.
• 37:17
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, we've this connection that you have with people and that kind of thing, it's just kind of exciting to watch all of that take place sometimes.
• 37:25
  Daniel Moore: And it gives you the importance of uh, you know, sometimes people come up looking for both of us, yeah, you know, because they know we're both going to be standing there.
• 37:32
  Daniel Moore: And it does, it just kind of puts a whole different to a different level.
• 37:35
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 37:36
  Daniel Moore: And then our church also gives the opportunity to do big serves once a month.
• 37:41
  Daniel Moore: And that list that you shared there kind of encompasses a lot of what we do with our serve day at the church because we will go out and do outreaches to the homeless, uh, doing cleanup efforts in the community, um, you know, partnering with nonprofits to serve disadvantaged communities.
• 38:00
  Daniel Moore: We do a lot of that stuff, and that's something else that you and I get to do together on those times that we're able to actually go help with with that Saturday serve.
• 38:08
  Daniel Moore: And I'm thankful that our church has that opportunity so that that's a big couples event that couples can come together and and serve with each other.
• 38:16
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 38:17
  Daniel Moore: And it it makes you grow.
• 38:19
  Michelle Moore: Oh, absolutely.
• 38:21
  Daniel Moore: I truly believe it just makes you grow so much deeper, not only with God, but even with each other.
• 38:26
  Daniel Moore: And it just gives you the opportunity to make a difference together instead of it just being one-sided.
• 38:31
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 38:32
  Daniel Moore: And so there is uh there's strength in both sides.
• 38:36
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 38:37
  Daniel Moore: Because I know there's there's still couples that when praise team's a big example.
• 38:42
  Daniel Moore: It's very rare that you have both spouses that are gifted to sing or play an instrument or whatever.
• 38:48
  Daniel Moore: Occasionally that's the case, and that's great when they can both do that.
• 38:52
  Daniel Moore: But more often than not, that's probably not the case.
• 38:54
  Daniel Moore: Most of the time when you see the praise team on the stage, it's not spouses.
• 38:58
  Daniel Moore: And the the other spouse does something different, you know?
• 39:02
  Daniel Moore: And so you have those times when you do things.
• 39:05
  Daniel Moore: And I mean, you still do separate, I still am on security.
• 39:08
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 39:08
  Daniel Moore: And you're not.
• 39:09
  Daniel Moore: And there's times that you do the connect desk by yourself, like on Wednesday evenings or whatever.
• 39:14
  Daniel Moore: Um, so there are times that we still do our separate thing because that's where God has us, and we both enjoy doing that.
• 39:21
  Daniel Moore: Um, but we do, I am so thankful that we have that together time as well.
• 39:26
  Daniel Moore: And I'm thankful that you've, you know, agreed to come onto the podcast and allow us to have this opportunity to share.
• 39:32
  Daniel Moore: Um, like you said, that has helped us grow tremendously.
• 39:35
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 39:35
  Daniel Moore: Um, in working together.
• 39:37
  Daniel Moore: We're gonna make this a three-parter because there's still more to go and we don't have time to get into the last part of this.
• 39:55
  Daniel Moore: So we'll come back next week and we will make a third part out of this because we could fly through this next part, but I think we probably need to spend a little time on it because uh we're gonna be talking next week a little bit about dealing with dry times spiritually because it's not always roses.
• 40:12
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 40:12
  Michelle Moore: You're so right.
• 40:13
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, it's fun to serve together.
• 40:14
  Daniel Moore: We go to church together on a regular basis, and it's fun to do those things, but there still are times when us as spouses, we go through dry times, and it may not be both at the same time.
• 40:23
  Daniel Moore: One spouse may be in a dry time when the other one's all excited and raring and ready to go, and they're trying to pull the other spouse along, you know, and it's they causes some friction when that takes place.
• 40:34
  Daniel Moore: And so we're going to uh talk about that the next time, about dealing with that, and I'm excited, and how you shouldn't try to change your spouse when you know you can't do that.
• 40:47
  Daniel Moore: Uh we need to pray for our spouses.
• 40:50
  Daniel Moore: There are a lot of things here left that we need to go through with this episode.
• 40:53
  Daniel Moore: So we're gonna wait till next week and we'll pick that back up.
• 40:56
  Daniel Moore: So is there anything that you wanted to add to this week's?
• 40:59
  Michelle Moore: No, so good.
• 41:00
  Daniel Moore: So this this has been an excellent episode that I think is very much needed.
• 41:04
  Daniel Moore: Uh it's you know helped both of us as we went through it, just talking about it with you guys, and we hope that you all have received something from it as well.
• 41:11
  Daniel Moore: If you enjoy these episodes, please share them with a friend.
• 41:15
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 41:15
  Daniel Moore: Uh honestly, the biggest way that helps ministries grow and help podcasts to grow is by sharing.
• 41:24
  Daniel Moore: That's really the biggest way.
• 41:25
  Daniel Moore: It's like it's like a word of mouth type of thing.
• 41:28
  Daniel Moore: And if you're getting something from this, I know that everybody knows a couple out there that's probably struggling.
• 41:34
  Daniel Moore: Or even if they're not, or even if they're not struggling, this can still help.
• 41:37
  Daniel Moore: It's a good reminder of what marriage is supposed to be all about.
• 41:43
  Daniel Moore: And we're trying to put out you know the best content we can with all of this and hopefully to help someone.
• 41:49
  Daniel Moore: And we know that it's helping people because we we get feedback occasionally on that.
• 41:54
  Daniel Moore: Uh, we actually got some feedback from someone last week uh on last week's episode.
• 41:59
  Daniel Moore: Uh, they're just now coming out of a time of uh their kids not being at home anymore.
• 42:04
  Daniel Moore: And so he and his wife now are trying to figure out this getting back together thing as husband and wife, and where do we go from here?
• 42:13
  Daniel Moore: You know, that kind of thing.
• 42:15
  Daniel Moore: We've talked about that a lot in our podcast, and they've really been enjoying this series.
• 42:20
  Daniel Moore: So we love to hear from you guys if you have little comments like that or whatever, leave them on Facebook or X or whatever it may be.
• 42:27
  Daniel Moore: Uh, we do enjoy hearing that.
• 42:29
  Daniel Moore: So please share this with a friend, and uh we'd appreciate that.
• 42:33
  Daniel Moore: So we're gonna go ahead and stop for this week, and we'll come back next week and we'll finish this episode in next week's episode as we wrap up this uh subject on intimacy in our spiritual life as a couple.
• 42:46
  Daniel Moore: So we're going to call it good.
• 42:49
  Daniel Moore: We pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
• 42:54
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting to Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.