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Friendship + Finances: Why Who You Surround Yourself With Matters with Debbie Hooey · Rock My Finances

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rock My Finances show on k FORHD
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Speaker 2: Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the fund
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Speaker 2: in finance. Join Powerhouse Jeffer Jos CDFA CMC and private
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Speaker 2: wealth advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity, control,
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Speaker 2: and companience with your money, your way. It's not about
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Speaker 2: the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's find
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Speaker 2: out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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Speaker 3: Stop y'all, how you doing? Welcome to rock my finances. Okay,
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Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
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Speaker 4: You see this lovely, gorgeous, amazing woman sitting next to me.
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Speaker 3: Yes, she paid me to say that. I'm Dea.
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Speaker 4: So that's the camera, there's the light. I'm your friends. Yes,
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Speaker 4: you are my best y'all. This is Debbie Hooey.
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Speaker 3: She has been my friend since how long? We're fourteen
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Speaker 3: years old? Oh my god, just a couple of years ago.
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Speaker 3: Just a couple of years ago.
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Speaker 4: She's never done a podcast before, and she's visiting me.
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Speaker 4: She thought it was all gonna be fun. Oh guess
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Speaker 4: get off an airplane, an overnight flight and set on
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Speaker 4: real quick because guess what you get to do? Refresh
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Speaker 4: and makeup and jump on a podcast two hours sleep. Yeah,
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Speaker 4: that's so awesome.
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Speaker 3: I love it. I love it.
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Speaker 4: I think we got okay. I thought I saw a
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Speaker 4: question pop up. Yep, there's Diandra, she said, So that
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Speaker 4: is Denie's daughter, who is my god daughter because I'm
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Speaker 4: and I got to be there when she was born.
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Speaker 3: Yes, now, yes, Debbie was there. My silk were born
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Speaker 3: as well. But it's so fun to watch these kids
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Speaker 3: grow up.
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Speaker 4: So we're going to talk about just our relationship throughout
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Speaker 4: the several decades that we've been together, and how it
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Speaker 4: is having friendships, and then of course always kind of
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Speaker 4: around to money and you know me the F word.
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Speaker 4: How do you feel about money before the zero's actually
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Speaker 4: get into your bank? So Debbie's been there for me.
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Speaker 4: She's married to an amazing man, Adam. How long have
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Speaker 4: you guys been married?
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Speaker 3: Thirty five years? Oh god, we're only forty two. I
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Speaker 3: don't know how that happens. So exciting.
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Speaker 4: So poor Adam got me thrown into the whole thing
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Speaker 4: because now he's bestie as well, and he didn't know
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Speaker 4: that he was gonna get me along with Miss Debbie
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Speaker 4: all these years.
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Speaker 3: And then they went and reproduced and had another Debbie,
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Speaker 3: Miss Diandra.
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Speaker 4: So we've had a really good life together and I
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Speaker 4: can tell you we've been there for each other on
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Speaker 4: all the ups and downs.
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Speaker 3: Right money, Oh my god, I'm gonna get weak a
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Speaker 3: lot of us and down. That's true.
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Speaker 4: I like it.
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Speaker 3: I like I like we got good for sure.
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Speaker 4: Speaking of a good uh, Diandra just got married to
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Speaker 4: a fabulous man, mister reid Or reads her dude now
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Speaker 4: and Diandra is expecting.
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Speaker 3: So I'm going to ask you before we get into that.
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Speaker 4: I'm gonna ask the same question ask everybody, Debbie since
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Speaker 4: rock my finances, what did you spend money on recently
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Speaker 4: that you enjoyed?
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Speaker 5: I bought my daughter's invitations for her baby shower that's
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Speaker 5: coming up in April. And I loved the whole idea
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Speaker 5: of picking him out and personalizing it, and and it
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Speaker 5: just makes it feel more real that the little man
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Speaker 5: is coming. We're having little grams. Then do we have
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Speaker 5: a name? Well, I think there's gonna go with Sterling
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Speaker 5: that they're kind of popping that round, but.
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Speaker 3: There's there's probably a few on the table right now. Yep.
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Speaker 4: Okay, I'm so excited, so so so excited.
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Speaker 3: What did you say? We see that pop it up?
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Speaker 4: We can't tell if it so if you can put
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Speaker 4: in the chat rebel when Dionder makes me she is
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Speaker 4: we do have lots of names.
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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, they got lots of names popping around. Okay,
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Speaker 3: that's awesome. How can I turn my name into a
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Speaker 3: boy name? Jeff is good Jeff and her Jeff. I'm
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Speaker 3: kidding good uncle Jeff. Oh yeah, we uncle Jeff.
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Speaker 4: So with that said, doing the invitation, I love that
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Speaker 4: Sterling is the winner.
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Speaker 3: Is that what we moved?
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Speaker 4: My mouse Sterling is the winner. Official looks like official.
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Speaker 4: The love that I can say Sterling my grandson to her.
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Speaker 3: And her last name is Aikin Aikan So Sterling Aikin.
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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm so excited for him. It's a
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Speaker 3: great name. Oh my god, I love that name. You
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Speaker 3: know I came up that name. No, I'm Shirling Daniel. Yeah.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, So when we were talking about she was talking
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Speaker 5: about names, I said, you know, I don't.
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Speaker 3: I really didn't know him, but his name, Sterling Daniels.
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Speaker 3: I love that name. I was like, the cool name,
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Speaker 3: and he seemed like a nice guy. Like I said,
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Speaker 3: I didn't remember.
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Speaker 5: I was a sophomore, he was a senior, so I
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Speaker 5: really didn't know him or his friends.
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Speaker 3: But I as soon as I heard that name, I
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Speaker 3: was like, that's a really nice name. I love that.
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Speaker 3: I'm glad that they like it. I love that.
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Speaker 4: And Debbie has one of those field trap memories. You
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Speaker 4: remember that you got one of those friends, y'all, because.
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Speaker 3: Uh, I don't remember a lot.
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Speaker 4: I didn't do drugs, don't worry in high school, but
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Speaker 4: I still don't remember. And I would have to call Debbie.
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Speaker 4: Do I know this person? Do I know this person?
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Speaker 3: I love it? Okay, cool y, I'm so excited. So
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Speaker 3: this is going to be fun. And speaking of baby
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Speaker 3: showers and weddings, you guys just put on a.
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Speaker 4: Wedding for miss Diandra and read. All of that is financing, right,
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Speaker 4: I'm sure you're going to retire one day. Have you
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Speaker 4: ever thought about it?
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Speaker 3: Retiring? Open a couple more years? Okay, sixty seven, sixty five, Oh,
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Speaker 3: she's doing sixty five, open sixty five, and we'll add
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Speaker 3: of it baby medic cover that. I'm sure right exactly.
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Speaker 3: So it's funny around my community. We're like, it's the
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Speaker 3: big birthday, the Medicare birthday. Just then they get to
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Speaker 3: reduce their senses.
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Speaker 4: I love that, and it really kisses me off actually
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Speaker 4: that I've been in this financial industry for decades and
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Speaker 4: we have these special dates. Right, we have the fifty
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Speaker 4: five date. You can take out of your four ok
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Speaker 4: you can go on I a catch up after fifty
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Speaker 4: fifty nine and a half.
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Speaker 3: You can take money out with that.
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Speaker 4: So I remember getting into these Mildstones going bull Remember
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Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I'm already there, Like what is that
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Speaker 4: I'm already at these financial milestones, So sixty five is one,
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Speaker 4: and then seventy two. At our point right now is
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Speaker 4: the last one of Social Security and R and DS
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Speaker 4: you have to start coming out.
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Speaker 3: That might move to seventy three, but right now it's
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Speaker 3: at seventy two.
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Speaker 4: That'll be our last financial mildstone, which we'll have to
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Speaker 4: have a.
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Speaker 3: Party around that day.
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Speaker 4: Yes, to go somewhere, Yes, like we did on our
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Speaker 4: fortieth o Mexico, Mexico. We were just talking about that.
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Speaker 4: Oh my god, we had so much fun. Yes, didn't
7:33
Speaker 4: you love the whales? I mean the dolphin dolphins? Okay,
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Speaker 4: she's been on shit ass Right now, y'all, don't drown me. Heard.
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Speaker 4: I was in Mexico and those dolphins are huge and brown,
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Speaker 4: two flippers.
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Speaker 3: They were literally huge, gray.
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Speaker 4: And brown, and they looked like a car going underneath.
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Speaker 3: You, and talk of them were should be down on
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Speaker 3: the water.
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Speaker 4: She's tiny, all, She's very tiny, So I'm like, she's
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Speaker 4: throwing me off.
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Speaker 3: I was with my ex husband at the time. He
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Speaker 3: was throwing me off. I couldn't even get to Adam.
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Speaker 3: He's so lucky. Oh my god. That was so hilarious.
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Speaker 4: And then finally I calmed down and I enjoyed, and
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Speaker 4: then we hung on to beat out.
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Speaker 3: But I did the stupid thing before I got out
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Speaker 3: on the way out. That was so much better. And
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Speaker 3: that hangover day, yeah, that was that for a very
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Speaker 3: long night. And that cold water, not the hangover hat.
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Speaker 3: That was fun. That was totally fun. I love that
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Speaker 3: we've had, like you said, we've had a lot of us.
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Speaker 3: I love that. Okay.
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Speaker 4: So money comes into everything, right, it comes into all
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Speaker 4: different decades, in your twenties and your thirties, when you
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Speaker 4: have babies, when you have a family, and your forties
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Speaker 4: and your fifties, and now we're talking about our sixties retiring.
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Speaker 4: So it's really really, really really important. So I want
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Speaker 4: to talk about drive facing the Okay, is that better?
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Speaker 3: We can do that.
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Speaker 4: Get closer so my producer, Rebel just said, get your
9:03
Speaker 4: buck closer to that microphone so we can hear a
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Speaker 4: little bit better.
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Speaker 3: Okay.
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Speaker 4: So I want to talk about how it's not just
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Speaker 4: about the zeros in our bank accounts, but it's actually
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Speaker 4: the emotion around that. And when we have friends like this,
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Speaker 4: I think they say, what is that you are the
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Speaker 4: sum of the five or seven people that you hang
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Speaker 4: around with or something, and your goals and dreams and
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Speaker 4: finances are usually around that.
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Speaker 3: So if you're around a lot of people that aren't
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Speaker 3: as go getterish.
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Speaker 4: I'm going to say, as you are maybe and it's
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Speaker 4: not as driven as you are, then they're hanging on
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Speaker 4: to you like the metaphor of the dolphins that I'm
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Speaker 4: hanging on Debbie trying to climb up her and it's
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Speaker 4: bringing her down. The same way with energy around money.
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Speaker 4: So we want to be mindful of our friend. I
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Speaker 4: don't always I don't only want to talk about money,
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Speaker 4: but I always I also want to talk about honesty
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Speaker 4: and being ethical and you know me positivity right.
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Speaker 3: So it's really important to have those friends around.
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Speaker 4: You that can pull you up when you need to
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Speaker 4: be pulled up, and you can do the same for
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Speaker 4: them in all the realms.
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Speaker 3: Does that make sense? Absolutely?
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Speaker 5: You have to lift people up, keep them positive, and
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Speaker 5: reassure them, and you know, because people do.
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Speaker 3: If they're feeling.
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Speaker 5: Down and people don't help you feel better, you just
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Speaker 5: feel depressed and you feel lonely, and you know, so
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Speaker 5: that's what your friends are there for. They're there to
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Speaker 5: raise you up. I love that you're right, also give
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Speaker 5: you ship and you need it.
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Speaker 4: Okay, Oh yeah, okay, so she.
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Speaker 3: Said that, you know me, it's my show we're costing.
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Speaker 3: That's very true. I love that. I love that. So
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Speaker 3: let's everyone take a look around you. What friends do
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Speaker 3: you have? Do you want to keep them? It's your choice.
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Speaker 4: Just like your money, where do you spend your money?
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Speaker 4: Do you want to spend your money the same way
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Speaker 4: next month as you did last month, or next year
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Speaker 4: as you did last year. It's your choice. It's your choice.
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Speaker 4: I chose to keep Debbie and if.
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Speaker 3: He didn't have a cho eys and she does every day,
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Speaker 3: every day, every day.
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Speaker 4: We choose to have our friends, right, And you know,
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Speaker 4: I've found two A lot of friends of mine now
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Speaker 4: are restructuring their friendship. So we're in a different community
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Speaker 4: because we all just kind of met each other. But
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Speaker 4: I've talked to a lot of people that are looking
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Speaker 4: back at their friendships and they are reorganizing at.
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Speaker 3: This age and their sixty Do you know anyone that's
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Speaker 3: doing that? No?
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Speaker 4: Okay, so it might be a thing about living here,
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Speaker 4: I'm not sure, but they're reevaluating their friendship, which is
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Speaker 4: interesting to me.
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Speaker 3: I know, we do that when we have kids, they
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Speaker 3: are they reevaluating because they're not in the same income
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Speaker 3: levels or no.
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Speaker 4: But it's all about emotions. Okay, it's about emotions. It's
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Speaker 4: about energy stuckers, it's about positivity. Maybe the older we get,
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Speaker 4: we think we can mouth off a little bit more,
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Speaker 4: and some people don't really care for that so much
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Speaker 4: and they don't want to be around that. I get that,
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Speaker 4: and they're trying to remain positive. I also am going
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Speaker 4: to certified grief counselor so I do have a grief group.
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Speaker 4: So people we try to stay positive around that.
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Speaker 5: Uh.
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Speaker 4: And so when you're going through a trauma, a change
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Speaker 4: of life, illness or something, staying.
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Speaker 3: Positive is huge. So you don't want that.
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Speaker 4: Whole hum drum person that's going to drag you down again, right,
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Speaker 4: You want to be able.
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Speaker 3: To help them to a certain extent. If they keep
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Speaker 3: pulling you down, then yeah, I get that, you're gonna
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Speaker 3: let go. It's exhausting, Yeah, exactly, that would be horrible.
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Speaker 3: It is, Yeah, it absolutely is.
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Speaker 4: And it's being the codependent, being raised in an alcoholic home,
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Speaker 4: A one number one codependent.
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Speaker 3: Here.
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Speaker 4: I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings and I don't
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Speaker 4: want it to look bad on me and all those
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Speaker 4: little wounds that I have, right so I've recovered from
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Speaker 4: that a lot and having honest friends.
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Speaker 3: Next they're going to slap you think being yourself.
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Speaker 5: Exactly because if somebody is dragging you down, now are
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Speaker 5: you feeling?
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Speaker 3: Are you able to stay?
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Speaker 5: Or you just slowly remove yourself from the relationship alten
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Speaker 5: you don't talk to them as much as you did
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Speaker 5: before that.
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Speaker 3: How you do it or don't make a date dates
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Speaker 3: with them?
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Speaker 5: It depends on who they are.
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Speaker 4: I have a good friend that has had a neighbor
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Speaker 4: and they were friends for years and years and years,
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Speaker 4: and that friend literally just that I do not want
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Speaker 4: to be friends anymore and never gave her a reason why,
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Speaker 4: so she has no idea why they do not want
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Speaker 4: to be friends Like this is. I can count ten
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Speaker 4: times in the last hard like a year that this
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Speaker 4: has happened.
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Speaker 5: I know that was hard because why don't you If
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Speaker 5: they say something to you, then why don't you be
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Speaker 5: honest and tell them why you can't? Because if it's
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Speaker 5: something that they need to work on, right then it
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Speaker 5: gives them a chance to work on that.
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Speaker 3: So they don't do that in future friendships, exact relationships exactly.
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Speaker 4: Can you tell we're problems alvers here, we're fixers, we
13:52
Speaker 4: want to fix it. And if you're feeling that with
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Speaker 4: one person, you're probably feeling that with more than one person.
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Speaker 4: So I do want to know, and I do want
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Speaker 4: to know when I messed up. So like, I had
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Speaker 4: an event here at my house last night and I
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Speaker 4: was joking around and I said something to a gentleman
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Speaker 4: that was like, no, no, not now, not now, We'll
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Speaker 4: do this later, and I think it could have came
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Speaker 4: off very rude. So I text his wife last night, tell.
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Speaker 3: Yours, but I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that
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Speaker 3: to come out so rude.
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Speaker 4: And I know if it was just him and I
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Speaker 4: we could be joking and it would be totally fine.
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Speaker 4: But it was in a room full of people, so
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Speaker 4: I had to apologize. So I always look at what
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Speaker 4: I'm saying and doing. Of course, he said it was
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Speaker 4: totally fine, no problem, he gets that. And at the
14:39
Speaker 4: same time, I always like to look at my day,
14:41
Speaker 4: how can I be better and do better and speak better?
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Speaker 3: Because I'm very outspoken and.
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Speaker 4: Things fly out, but I can't get back, so I
14:48
Speaker 4: do have to apologize sometimes. How do you handle anything
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Speaker 4: like that? I know you're very social as well. I
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Speaker 4: know Debbie Blood doesn't make any freaking mistakes, y'all. Oh no,
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Speaker 4: I make lots of mistakes, believe me. In fact, I
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Speaker 4: won't go into like who it was or anything.
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Speaker 5: I had a company event and I said something in
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Speaker 5: private to this individual and he's a big joker, a
15:13
Speaker 5: huge joker.
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Speaker 3: And he did not like what I said. When you
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Speaker 3: joke him serious.
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Speaker 5: Well, it was based on kind of fact, but I
15:21
Speaker 5: was it was a joke and he didn't take it
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Speaker 5: that way, and he and I knew I hurt his feelings,
15:30
Speaker 5: and so I tried approaching him because I noticed that
15:33
Speaker 5: he was kind of avoiding me, and so I point
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Speaker 5: directly said, hey, I want to clear the air, and
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Speaker 5: I'm hoping that he forgives me. But was anything that
15:46
Speaker 5: I honestly didn't say anything bad. It was a truth,
15:49
Speaker 5: but the timing was not right. And thank god it
15:53
Speaker 5: was only the two of us, So I don't know
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Speaker 5: why he got I could see if it was a friend,
15:58
Speaker 5: like I did, you know, we're ever, but it was
16:01
Speaker 5: just him and I and I felt so bad because
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Speaker 5: I do respect this person, and I respect what he
16:09
Speaker 5: thinks of me, and I felt really bad, so I apologized.
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Speaker 3: I said, you know, I cleared the air. He said
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Speaker 3: he forgave me.
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Speaker 5: I'm kind of hoping he did just after and everything that's.
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Speaker 3: Cool or not.
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Speaker 5: Video, Okay, so video can't really tell you, yeah, especially
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Speaker 5: for other people's there. But he doesn't joke around like
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Speaker 5: he used to with me so bad. But I didn't
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Speaker 5: mean it to hurt. I just meant it to be
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Speaker 5: kind of funny, like how he is right right.
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Speaker 4: No, I get that, and we can't always we can apologize,
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Speaker 4: and we have to not be invested in the outcome
16:43
Speaker 4: because we don't know how they're going to take it right,
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Speaker 4: But we have to be true to ourselves.
16:47
Speaker 3: I love that. I love that.
16:49
Speaker 4: Okay, y'all, I have a gift for you. So we
16:52
Speaker 4: are going to come back and we're going to wrap
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Speaker 4: this up, but I'm going to give you some really
16:55
Speaker 4: good information. But hang on and I've got a gift
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Speaker 4: for you, and there we go.
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Speaker 2: Wait, the show isn't over yet. There's more fun and
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Speaker 6: your feminine financial freedom. Finally, oh and don't forget to
17:53
Speaker 6: ask me how to say fifty percent?
17:55
Speaker 4: So you add our weekly mastermind.
18:00
Speaker 2: Okay, Rock My Financeers on KATHHD and Talk for TV
18:04
Speaker 2: is back once again. Let's put the fun in finance
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Speaker 2: with your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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Speaker 3: Welcome back, y'all.
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Speaker 4: Okay, so we're going to wrap up this segment of
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Speaker 4: your friendships and finances and having your besties around and
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Speaker 4: making sure that you're feeling really good about things. So
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Speaker 4: a couple of things that I'd like to recommend to
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Speaker 4: y'all if you're unsure, like Debbie did ask a question
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Speaker 4: like I did.
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Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
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Speaker 4: You know, if I was in a same room with them,
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Speaker 4: I might have said to that hurt your feelings or
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Speaker 4: you know, like that out of line or whatever.
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Speaker 5: What's one thing that you want to leave behind with
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Speaker 5: the audience, Debbie, just really be honest and be your
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Speaker 5: true self. I find that if I try to be
18:48
Speaker 5: something different, it doesn't come across genuine. So I just say,
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Speaker 5: really be yourself and what feels good inside. And you know,
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Speaker 5: always the old saying, I mean, treat others as you'd
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Speaker 5: want to be treated, true, very true, and try to
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Speaker 5: pull that back with it flies out and.
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Speaker 4: Forgiveness, right, forgiveness is huge. I have to forgive myself first,
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Speaker 4: which is what I know a lot of women don't
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Speaker 4: do all the time. We don't forgive ourselves, so we
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Speaker 4: have to start with ourselves first before we can forgive
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Speaker 4: anyone else. So with finances, friendship, everything rely on your friends.
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Speaker 4: Like I have another group of friends that we video
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Speaker 4: each other every day and we talk every day, so
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Speaker 4: I know what they're doing, they know what I'm doing,
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Speaker 4: and when I'm feeling down or feeling great, I can't
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Speaker 4: wait to celebrate I can't wait to share what's going on,
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Speaker 4: and with that it gives me stability. So wherever you
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Speaker 4: can find stability, like I know Debbie and Adam and
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Speaker 4: Debbie's mom, Miss LEXI love you. Mom is always there
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Speaker 4: for me. They've been my stability through my traumas, through
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Speaker 4: losing my kids, through remarrying a couple of times and.
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Speaker 3: Then having more kids. And I'm not doing yet.
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Speaker 1: You never know.
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Speaker 3: I could get east to right. Should be you should be?
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Speaker 3: I know right.
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Speaker 4: So all of that, you have stability in your friends
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Speaker 4: that really are honest and true to you, and you
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Speaker 4: have that reliability that you can count on. But you
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Speaker 4: got to find it in yourself first. So find it
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Speaker 4: in yourself, then you can adjust your money. Your friendships
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Speaker 4: are going to be there, your finances are going to
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Speaker 4: be there, and your goals will start coming true.
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Speaker 3: For sure. I love it.
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Speaker 5: It's like you know, the also you said, you know,
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Speaker 5: you can't love somebody unless you love yourself. It's the
20:32
Speaker 5: same way with money. You also have to love money
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Speaker 5: and how you treat it. That's really important. It's how
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Speaker 5: you treat your money. And she doesn't even coach, y'all.
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Speaker 5: It's all about the relationship.
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Speaker 4: All right, y'all, I want everyone to be able to
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Speaker 4: say I rock my finances.
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Speaker 2: Right. We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget
20:51
Speaker 2: to subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for
20:55
Speaker 2: more engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your
20:59
Speaker 2: money story? Let's find out with Jennifer right here on
21:02
Speaker 2: K four HD Radio and Talk for TV. It's not
21:06
Speaker 2: about the zero, It's about the F word. Feelings, feelings.
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Speaker 2: Jennifer can't wait to explore with you next week. Until then,
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Speaker 2: let's all say, I rock my Finances