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Bonus IMPROV - You're a Legume and You Have Bad News · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends
• 0:19
  let's do some bonus bonus improv
• 0:26
  Joe. Can we get a suggestion?
• 0:32
  Yes. Thank you.
• 0:35
  It's rhetorical. What is it?
• 0:40
  He's keeping us on pins and needles.
• 0:42
  Your suggestion is rapist. No, it's not.
• 0:46
  Did that come up on the suggestion generator? It sure did. Oh my God.
• 0:52
  I use that generator with my students.
• 0:56
  although like I always say that as if
• 0:58
  if it comes up I have to say it like I can't
• 1:00
  filter that out sorry guys this is improv
• 1:02
  this is serious yep
• 1:04
  you are definitely gonna get someone yell out rapist
• 1:06
  in a crowd
• 1:07
  probably a rapist themselves
• 1:10
  or someone trying to point one out
• 1:13
  and then we just go
• 1:14
  alright that's our suggestion
• 1:16
  let's do some improv
• 1:18
  alright our suggestion is I'm choking
• 1:21
  fire
• 1:22
  great
• 1:23
  costumes is your suggestion costumes costumes you know there's this old costume shop in phoenix
• 1:31
  that was near where my florist used to be and like mcdowell yeah yeah right there yeah yeah and
• 1:37
  um it was there for like decades yeah and i finally sold it was kind of like made me sad
• 1:41
  um i got a giant banana costume there for my brother jake to wear one halloween he said that
• 1:52
  if I could get the costume, he'd wear it.
• 1:54
  And so I was like, I...
• 1:55
  So why would they close down? They got your banana money.
• 1:58
  I don't know.
• 2:00
  How often did you shop there?
• 2:03
  I never did.
• 2:04
  I was there one time.
• 2:05
  Didn't you call it
• 2:08
  my costume?
• 2:09
  Like, I had a costume place?
• 2:11
  I don't think I did. We'll find out when this airs.
• 2:14
  Yeah.
• 2:15
  It's more so that, it's like, you know, when things...
• 2:18
  Maybe you said my florist.
• 2:19
  Yeah, my florist. That's what it was.
• 2:20
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was the was my floors called my florist to there's a
• 2:26
  what was a restaurant.
• 2:29
  Were you talking about your florist or the place? My floor is placed my floor.
• 2:35
  I have that Okay I look at the high jinks We get up to language I like imagining your regular costume shop though and you there like every week Hey Doris another back of horse part for the costume again I keep ruining them
• 2:50
  My monocle broke.
• 2:53
  Anyway,
• 2:54
  it made me sad because it's like,
• 2:55
  you know,
• 2:55
  when like things that you just,
• 2:57
  that are like in your orbit,
• 2:58
  like go away,
• 2:59
  it just kind of feels like your,
• 3:01
  your town has changed.
• 3:05
  Yeah.
• 3:06
  Hate that.
• 3:07
  Hate that.
• 3:07
  I hate that too
• 3:11
  but it's funny I forgot about that costume place
• 3:14
  it was yellow remember
• 3:14
  yeah I do remember that
• 3:15
  just like the banana I got there
• 3:17
  yes
• 3:17
  yeah
• 3:18
  how did you even find it in there
• 3:20
  she slipped on it
• 3:22
  oh you
• 3:24
  she ate it and it took away her cramps
• 3:28
  and then she said
• 3:32
  thank you baby
• 3:34
  oh man
• 3:35
  And now, improv.
• 3:46
  Zachary, can you come in here, please?
• 3:49
  Yeah. What's up, Elizabeth?
• 3:54
  I'm sorry. Look, I have to give you some bad news.
• 4:00
  Oh my God. Should I sit?
• 4:02
  Well, the book said that when you have to give bad news like this, it's best to try and add some whimsy to it, which is why I'm dressed head to toe like Mr. Peanut.
• 4:14
  I wasn't going to say anything.
• 4:17
  It was weird you didn't ask immediately.
• 4:19
  Because you know I have that peanut allergy, so I didn't know what we were doing.
• 4:21
  I know.
• 4:22
  And I forgot you had that allergy.
• 4:23
  I'm not trying to make it seem like I'm a giant thing that's going to attack you and make breathing difficult.
• 4:28
  Okay.
• 4:28
  So you're a legume and you have bad news.
• 4:32
  Yeah.
• 4:33
  All right.
• 4:33
  I think I can handle this.
• 4:34
  I'm a bad news legume.
• 4:35
  Okay.
• 4:36
  The BNL.
• 4:38
  Yeah.
• 4:39
  All right.
• 4:40
  All right.
• 4:41
  Okay.
• 4:43
  Zachary.
• 4:45
  Where's the cane?
• 4:45
  I'm wondering.
• 4:46
  Oh, sorry.
• 4:48
  It's behind.
• 4:49
  It's hooked to my chair.
• 4:50
  Hang on.
• 4:50
  I feel like you should.
• 4:51
  If you're going to do it.
• 4:52
  Yeah.
• 4:52
  I should do it right.
• 4:53
  I know.
• 4:54
  I know.
• 4:54
  Yeah.
• 4:54
  Do you like the shoes?
• 4:55
  Oh, yeah.
• 4:56
  You know, it's funny.
• 4:57
  It's funny.
• 4:57
  I never noticed he had shoes, but now that you're wearing them.
• 5:00
  He's got shoes.
• 5:01
  Yeah, he's got shoes.
• 5:02
  No, I know. I'm accurate.
• 5:03
  Okay, yeah.
• 5:05
  I know you don't get to touch peanuts in real life.
• 5:08
  Do you want to touch my costume?
• 5:09
  Maybe once you put the hat on.
• 5:11
  Oh, that's nice.
• 5:13
  Oh, this is nice. Is this like papier-mâché?
• 5:15
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feel the grooves.
• 5:17
  Well, I guess you wouldn't know. They feel like real peanut shells.
• 5:19
  Oh, wow. This is immersive. Thank you.
• 5:22
  You said you had good news?
• 5:23
  No I sorry I said I had the opposite Oh sorry This costume is just so great Okay good It doing its job It doing its job So what this fantastic news you have No it bad It bad news Okay Zachary
• 5:35
  Can you take the costume off?
• 5:37
  I feel like I don't want to hear bad news and associate it with that costume.
• 5:40
  No, the book said, I'm reading a book about how to be a better boss.
• 5:46
  And it said, if you have to deliver bad news, deliver bad news in a whimsical way.
• 5:52
  I thought this was whimsical.
• 5:53
  I forgot about your allergy, but I'm glad that it doesn't, that wasn't triggering for you.
• 5:57
  No, no, no.
• 5:57
  I'm an adult.
• 5:59
  Thank you.
• 5:59
  Yeah.
• 6:00
  All right.
• 6:00
  So you're, you're a good boss.
• 6:02
  Go ahead.
• 6:02
  Thank you for saying that.
• 6:03
  God, can I, this, before I get to the news, can you just maybe say, I've been feeling
• 6:13
  really down lately.
• 6:14
  Can you say like one good thing that you think I've done as a boss?
• 6:18
  Oh yeah.
• 6:19
  Here, here.
• 6:19
  I can take the monocle out if that's distracting.
• 6:21
  No, put it back on.
• 6:22
  Oh, okay.
• 6:22
  Yeah, it's distracting me if it wasn't there.
• 6:23
  Okay.
• 6:24
  Yeah, what's a peanut without a monocle?
• 6:26
  Yeah.
• 6:27
  I would say you're so empathetic.
• 6:31
  You really care about people.
• 6:33
  You will give people the shirt off your back, the peanut off your husk, if you will.
• 6:37
  I really appreciate that about you.
• 6:40
  I wouldn't work for anyone else.
• 6:41
  Thank you.
• 6:43
  God, this is just going to make this so much harder.
• 6:45
  It's okay.
• 6:45
  It's good news.
• 6:46
  Let me hear it.
• 6:47
  It's not good news.
• 6:48
  Sorry.
• 6:48
  Although, this is a side note.
• 6:52
  Uh, this peanut costume kind of like perfectly hugs my, my curbs.
• 6:59
  I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to bring that up.
• 7:01
  I didn't know, like, is that good?
• 7:03
  That's kind of good news, right?
• 7:04
  Cause I mean, Mr. Peanut's kind of like, he's got like a little like hourglass thing going on.
• 7:08
  Should I be happy about that?
• 7:10
  Or, or does that mean I'm a little too hippie?
• 7:11
  Oh no, no.
• 7:12
  I think, I think, um, you could put me into anaphylactic shock with how good you look.
• 7:20
  Yeah.
• 7:20
  God, Zachary, this, uh, and you know, I'm asexual.
• 7:23
  So that's just an honest compliment.
• 7:25
  No, no, I know.
• 7:25
  I know that.
• 7:26
  That's what, so I, that's why I don't feel good.
• 7:28
  I felt comfortable asking you about this, knowing that it wouldn't be crossing any kind
• 7:31
  of HR barriers.
• 7:33
  I'm, I'm, I'm all A's.
• 7:35
  I'm allergic.
• 7:36
  I'm anaphylactic, asexual.
• 7:39
  Oh God.
• 7:41
  Excuse me, sir.
• 7:42
  I'm sorry to interrupt.
• 7:43
  I know you're giving bad news, but your wife is on the line.
• 7:46
  She, uh, she wants to know if you'll be wearing the costume tonight.
• 7:50
  And she's also insisted that I start referring to her as Mrs. Peanut.
• 7:54
  Uh, yeah.
• 7:55
  Yeah.
• 7:55
  You could tell Jennifer.
• 7:57
  You told your wife that you were putting this costume.
• 7:59
  Well, she would, she was there with me at the costume shop and I was real down and I,
• 8:04
  we were in the costume shop and she's like, how can you be so sad in a place like this?
• 8:07
  And I was like well we here for a reason Jennifer I got to deliver bad news I got to deliver bad news to Zachary And she was like not Zachary No she she remembered you from that time we had that the
• 8:21
  company picnic, but she remembered she, she talked to you both, most of the times. Uh, she, she usually
• 8:27
  hates those things, but she had a good time. I'm really good with lesbians. Yeah. I know you are.
• 8:32
  And again, that's, that's an asexual thing. I, yeah, no, I just, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well,
• 8:37
  Jennifer noticed, I noticed.
• 8:39
  God, this, I'm going to make this so hard.
• 8:43
  Okay, well, just hit me with it.
• 8:46
  Okay.
• 8:51
  You know, remember the company Christmas party?
• 8:55
  How could I forget?
• 8:56
  It was in December.
• 8:57
  It was in December.
• 8:59
  Remember how you, it's funny that you say, how could I forget?
• 9:03
  Do you remember how you fell asleep at the party and you woke up the next day and you're like, what happened?
• 9:16
  Yeah.
• 9:17
  Yeah.
• 9:20
  Good impression, by the way.
• 9:22
  Thank you.
• 9:22
  Sorry, that sounded terrible.
• 9:24
  I didn't mean it.
• 9:25
  No.
• 9:25
  No, no, I mean it.
• 9:26
  I wasn't mocking you.
• 9:27
  I should have said I love your impressions when you asked what I liked about you.
• 9:29
  Oh, well, I like the empathy thing too.
• 9:31
  Yeah.
• 9:31
  Hey.
• 9:31
  Anyway, we finally got the footage back from that night.
• 9:38
  Okay.
• 9:39
  And I know what happened to you.
• 9:41
  Oh, all right.
• 9:42
  Well, just tell me.
• 9:43
  I'm sure it's funny.
• 9:44
  Well, remember the Santa that we had?
• 9:49
  Oh, yeah.
• 9:50
  Yeah, yeah.
• 9:51
  Yeah.
• 9:51
  Do you remember?
• 9:52
  It was December.
• 9:52
  Yeah, you remember.
• 9:53
  It was a December to remember.
• 9:55
  Yeah.
• 9:55
  Yeah, not just for car commercials anymore.
• 9:58
  No.
• 9:58
  Well, Santa.
• 10:01
  Santa slipped a little something into your drink.
• 10:05
  Hot cocoa?
• 10:07
  He slipped a little something in there,
• 10:10
  and that's why you passed out.
• 10:12
  Anyway, Santa raped you.
• 10:22
  I'm really sorry.
• 10:25
  I'm so sorry.
• 10:26
  Does Mr. P.
• 10:30
  Santa Claus?
• 10:31
  Yeah, the guy we hired to play Santa.
• 10:35
  I'm so sorry.
• 10:37
  Please tell me.
• 10:37
  No, it's fine.
• 10:38
  He was in a costume.
• 10:41
  Unseen.