Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #49: Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys (SATC Ep. 4)

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Happy Hour #49: Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys (SATC Ep. 4) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I welcome to stephone
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: ever told you production of I Heart Radio, And welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to another sub sub segment of our watch of Sex
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: in the City. And we're already talking about how long
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: this is going to take. Yeah, I hope if we
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: ever do leave the show, someone takes the mental up
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: and continue with it because it needs to be finished.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: But we are on episode four. I hope you had
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: the chance to. If you've not watched all of Sex
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: in City yet, you should watch it first. I get
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe you don't have to, yeah or
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: what I mean, but it's like, just just like that,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: that is out and just like that is out right now,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: and we have already done that episode, so I hope
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: you have enjoyed that as well. And there is an
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: accompaniment podcast through my Heart that is happening with and
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: just like that, but we are throwing it all the
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: way back to the original first season at this point
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: in time of Sex in the City. And and I
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: if you want to do a recap about first three episodes, okay,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: because just a reminder, this is my first time um
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: watching these. It's been very interesting so far. We've had
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: conversations around women, single women versus married women. You've had
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: discussions around like body, liking your body or not liking
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: your body, and then loving like a man, that is,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: to just have sex and be emotionless, I guess, and
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: not worrying about no emotions, no emotion, no connection, no connections,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: and then models being an issue in general. Yes, very good,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: and I guess we should go ahead and put this out.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: We know what's going on in the world of sex
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: in the City and just like that, when it comes
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: to the allegations towards Chrisnoth, and are very glad to
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: see that the women, the main women of sex in
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: the City and just like that have issued a statement
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: and UM support of the women who have come forward,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: as are we. This definitely changes how we see a
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: lot of this and I'm very sad by that. At
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: the same time, I'm very glad that the women have
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: found the courage to do what they needed to do
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: and we support them as well. We will definitely keep
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: a watch as to what that looks like UM in
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: the future. Of course, Yes, this is all just allegations
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: at this point in time, but we are very big
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: supporters of believing women and that's where we will leave that. So, yeah,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you any but for me, we're
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: not something like this happens, which we did have a
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: conversation the other day. It was like why why are men?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Just in general, why are men um? And this is
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: kind of one of those moments of like, you know,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: you see something and it changes your perspective forever. And
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: there are certain shows, movies, things that I can't watch
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: an more because of things like that, And so we
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: understand if you're like, yeah, this kills all of that
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: as well, there's a lot of process and yeah, just why,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: just why. It's exhausting. It is really exhausting and very unfortunate,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: right and we're not going to ignore it, which is
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: why we wanted to go ahead and address that. But
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: we are continuing on at this point in time. He's
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: not a big character right now, so we've already been
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: introduced to Skipper, who is not He's a he's a
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: kind of a main guy for the first couple of seasons,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I think, or at least the first season for sure,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: but after that he does kind of fade away. We're
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: about to see him again. Um, but are you ready
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: for what is any's prediction. Everyone is ready, everyone for me.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So the title of this episode is called Valley of
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: the Twenties something. Guys, what do you think that is? Ah?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I think that it is a like twenty year old
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: men who young twenty year old men whom are kind
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: of out of I don't know if out of the
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: league is the right word, but they're like immaturely flirting
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: with older women and I don't know, maybe going to
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: places where twenty year old dudes have sort of overtaken it. Okay, okay,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: we'll see. We'll see. Chris not is in this one.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I do remember this, okay, so he is back in here,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: so we'll see. There's no I don't think there's any
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: introductions to anyone new er or a staple. So I
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: think this is This is fine. Also, we are sipping
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: because it is a happy hour. I made another round
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: of Cosmos and they are delicious. Are you ready? I'm ready?
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Here we go. Okay, we'll see what you got right,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know. All right, it's official, he's late. Who
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Mr Big? Who else? Carrie? That's great? Is it? Date?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: So he called it a thing? He said, meet me
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: maybe for a drinking she's really she's put on the fur,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: she's really showing up for this date, right, this non date.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: You know what, I think we've all been there. You
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: don't want to call it a date, so you call
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: it a meet up and get together, drink coffee, you know,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: but it's not a date because but that does seem
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: outdated a little bit, that word. Maybe I'm just outdated dates. Yeah,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: twenty something guys always know the really important be people,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: bus points, something's know a lot of people and things
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: they're experimenting with a younger group. Oh so my partner
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: is five years younger than me. M. I think that's right,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: and so he is coming towards his late third later
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: thirties and I am early forties. But it's something that
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I had to really adjust to. It was like four
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: or five year difference, and as you know, young as
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I feel it's so weird, right right, So going that significant,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like this whole thing I will. And also
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I think there's a personally and I think for a
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: lot of people. If I look back when I was twenty, no,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I did not know a thing. I did not know
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: a damn thing. Everybody in here is in their twenties
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: and so are we pretend to be twenties twenties? I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: once accidentally, I was pretty drunk and I lied about
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: my age, And then later I was like, why did
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I lie? From my age was older or younger, younger
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: but not by much. But it was just like why
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: did I? Yeah? I mean, if I was to go
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: back on the dating side, I wonder because I think,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: have we hit the group where? Not because I don't
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: want to date my age, But when I was on
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: the app in being mid thirties, I was getting hit
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: on by guys from what one is now my age,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: and their limit was like whenever I was thirty five,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: that was the top of the limit, And so I wondered,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, is it even worth it? Yeah, I'm
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: seeing each other for a couple of weeks. I really
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: like you. Tomorrow night after dinner, I want us to
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: have anal salt, so the screens together, all of the
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: women to have this discussion to do or not to
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: do anal Okay, it's all about control. It goes up there.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: There's going to be a shifting this conversation too. Is
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: it about power? I guess when I have this conversation
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: with my friend. I was more like, it sounds like
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: you're just doing it because you think he's going to
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: leave you if you don't know, And I don't think
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: that's a healthy space. Yeah, the regular way, Yes, please.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: As awkward as that is, that is at least a
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: healthy conversation. He tells her what he wants, she doesn't
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: want it, he accepts it and moves it on. In
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: the story, that's how it's done. Decisions, decisions, talking it through,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: not being shamed, and what you like, right or what
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: you don't like and what you don't like. That is
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: healthy communication. Did they make it? No, because we never
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: see him again after this, that's still healthy community. All right,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: what's my score? What do I get? Twenty somethings were there,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: so I guess you get like I feel like I get. Okay,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: i'll give you thirty. There was flirting with twenty year olds,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: so i'll get you were going to places where they
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: were a bunch of twenty year olds. Okay, I'll give
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: you fifty because you're right, there was flirting. There were
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: twenty year olds involved, but it was more of an
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: experiment and it it's kind of funny to be on
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: all the different episodes that we watch. It is like
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: a very tale tale like experimentation of dating, and we've
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: all been there. That's one of the things I did
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: love about. I hate dating. I get anxious. I hate it.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: My first actual online date, I was so freaked out.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I had my roommate and her boyfriend follow us. They
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: got seated right behind us, which is hilarious. Um, it
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: wasn't a good date. We moved on, but like it
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: became like a running story and I started dating more
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: and more. It became interesting because at least I had
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: the good stories to come away from it, which it's
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: kind of like this experiment of who are you dating?
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Where did they come from? Type of thing? Yeah, yeah,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: and the kind of the puzzle of the whole thing.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: And I think that is a very relatable experience of
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: going back to those assumptions that you have, that you
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: make and what you think a thing is versus what
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: the other person thinks the thing is. And that's why
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: communication is important, but also the other person being willing
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: to hear you. I think the nineties to early two
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: thousand's maybe it is still happening, and I don't understand
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: it because I'm not dating anymore as per se. But
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: it is like a power play of you know what,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I know what happens, because yeah, even before this relationship
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: has been a bit a while, like I would not
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: text unless he texted first. I would make sure that
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: it was very cool and not needy trying to be
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: playing it cool even though I'm freaking out. So if
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I'm texting him, y'all went this far. If I was
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: texting him, i met him on the dating site and
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: he didn't respond in a certain amount of time, I
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: would go and see if he had been online, and
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: some of them would show the last time they were online.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I'm like you sort of a you son of a
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: all the bad things, and it was a power play. Yeah,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I mean that's I feel like I was never very
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: healthy in my dating life, and I think maybe now
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I've got more tools than I could be better. But
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: it was always about power. It was always about who
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: is holding the cards here, who is the one that
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: is more ready to leave and who's going to be
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: okay with that? And that's not a great way to
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: be but it to me it makes sense, like you're
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: kind of always thinking about the calculating like, okay, it
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: is calculation like who it looks more needy, who looks
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: like they have the power? Who left it on red? Yeah, yeah,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: those Texas And yes, well, And I think that's interesting
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: about like when it comes to women and how we've
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: been socialized. Of the conversation Charlotte had of if I
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: don't do this, you're never going to marry me, because
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: it means I'm basically the slut, I would say, versus
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: if I also don't do it, then I'm letting you down,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: and you feel like I owe this to you, And
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of a lot of us
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: in a lot of women feel that way, um, where
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: you're always kind of like balancing that line of I
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: have to satisfy this dude in this very head row relationship,
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: but also I can't be two forward with what I
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: want or two I can't give in also in quotes
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: of like having anal sex because then he'll be done
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: with me, right, I mean, And that's definitely a big
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: conversation we've constantly had, and we still have the idea
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: that we owe them something and we owe them what
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: they want to the full thing, as well as the
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: fact that you know the same lady in the streets breaking,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: the streaking, the cheese lady in the streets type of thing.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: It's that conversation of like being a certain type of
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: way and only one way, and it's all about you
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: and how we make you look or how we make
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: you feel and want to say. We talk about in
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: a heteronormative idea of women versus men, But that is
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: that big conversation and I do really like that that
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: she was able to say no, I don't like this,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And of course her character seems a lot more conservative
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: compared to but it's a really great conversation to have
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: and try to see where she was able to say no.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: She was able to talk to all of our friends
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: with very different thoughts and processing and then being able
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: to say no, I don't like it, and him accepting it. Again,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that's nice. Is that always reality? No, But
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to see it like that that she didn't
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: just give in me too. I think that's I wish
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I had had the bill reality to do that, because
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I would get so in my head about I have
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: to do it this way or this way. But it
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: was never about what I wanted to write, always about
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: what the other person wanted, and I wish I'd had
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: at least had the conversation, even if the answer, which
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: so often it was for me, was I don't know right, um,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: but I'm not comfortable with it right now. And I
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: you know, we've talked about this before. I was raised
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: very conservatively, so there are a lot of things where
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, even if I'm okay with this, I'm like,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: knee jerk, not okay, right, agreed. I mean, I've definitely
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: had the figuring out what a blowjob was was hilarious,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: and me asking my mom about it and the fact
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: that my mom was very straightforward and their moment, like
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I kind of didn't want to know this from my
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: mother because that makes me think, oh, no, I didn't
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: need to know about this about my parents. But but
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: the fact of about it, she's like, you know, she's
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: kind of the same way as we talk about sex
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: in the old school conservative ideas about loving someone and
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: enjoying something because you love that person conversation, and I
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: was like, uh, that's an interesting take, yeah, because for
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: so long it's so dirty and it's all about men
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: having power over women or men having power over someone else, um,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: in general, So it felt very nice to see my
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: that perspective and being able to ask her and she
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: didn't completely freak out. Yeah, it was was a good conversation.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: But in my head, it's definitely one of those things
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: like why would we do this? I don't understand this,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: what is this? And it's a joke, and it's a
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: joke A gets women. That's what it felt like for
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: so long. Yeah, and we talked about that. I was
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: the same way. And this is not to say because
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I've had friends who said I feel very powerful being
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: able to get that type of pleasure, But to me,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I always thought it was degrading. And I think some
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: of the things like we saw on TV, I would
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: see running jokes if like it must have been his birthday,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: or basically implying it's definitely not about her. It's something
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: that is all about the dude's pleasure and kind of
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: a transactional thing, which we've also been talking about. All right,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: But I do know people who and I think that's good,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Like if it's healthy and you know why you want
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: it and you're cool with it, and you have this
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: kind of conversation about it, and yeah, go for it.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I mean to be honest for me as well, like
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: not to get too personal, like I do enjoy things
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: like knowing that making that's just making someone happy, but
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: it feels sexy to me too, and that's that's great.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: But like, of course again that a change on a
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: flip with who your partner is. And that's the conversation too, yes,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: and and like why you're doing it and others like
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: asking and it's all these questions that they were having
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: in this of always like what it is, trying to
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: figure out what's behind, do you feel comfortable? Do you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: want to do it? And the good having good like
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: aspects kind of like the listener has sent us when
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: we did the original uh Sex in the City episode.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: She was like, you know, I feel like they all
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: represent one person, but different aspects of your personality. I
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: was like, yeah, absolutely, you're correct. I feel like they
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: do like have a thing that like there's a small
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: bit of each of them in one person typically yes,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: typically all right, So what did you think about this episode?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed it. I think there was a lot of
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Obviously it stirred up some conversation with us. I was
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: able to relate in things that I've talked about with
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: my friends. I enjoyed as always the nineties, hardcore nineties,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Timothy Oliphant, some are too. Yeah, I've never noticed that ever.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like the nerd. Okay, every time I love it. Yes, Well,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, and y'all I enjoyed it,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: and I hope you guys can join us again and
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: that you've enjoyed it as well, because we're going to
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: keep on going. Yes, this is the Sminty Gauntlet, only
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: nine episodes left in a couple of movies. Yes, and
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: we hope that you will join us along the way. Listeners,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: and as always, we would love to hear your thoughts
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: about any and everything we're talking about. You can email
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: us at Stephanie mom Stuff at I hurt media dot com.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: or on Instagram at stuff I Never Told you. Thanks.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: It's always to our super producer, Christina super super Oh. Yes,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Stuff wonder told the production.
• 18:12
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