Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / How can I overcome fear of judgement or criticism?
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: How can I overcome fear of judgment or criticism?
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Overcoming the fear of judgment or criticism begins with understanding that you cannot control what everyone thinks of you, but you can learn to feel more secure in yourself regardless of their opinions.
- 0:18SPEAKER_00: Fear of judgment can affect your confidence, relationships, career choices and willingness to try new things.
- 0:27SPEAKER_00: You might hold back from speaking up, worrying about making mistakes, overthink conversations or feel the need to please everyone.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: The aim isn't to stop caring altogether, is to reach a point where the other person's opinion no longer controls your decision.
- 0:48SPEAKER_00: Sometimes fear and criticism develop from past experiences of being criticized, bullied, rejected, compared with others or made to feel that you weren't good enough.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: Fear often makes us assume we know what other people are thinking.
- 1:06SPEAKER_00: When your confidence depends heavily on approval, criticism can feel like a threat to who you are.
- 1:15SPEAKER_00: Try to measure yourself by your values, intentions and growth, rather than universal approval.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: Avoiding situations that make you feel judged can bring short-term relief, but it may reinforce the fear.
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: Instead, take small, manageable steps.
- 1:37SPEAKER_00: Share your opinion in a conversation.
- 1:41SPEAKER_00: Ask a question when you feel unsure.
- 1:44SPEAKER_00: Notice what happens afterwards.
- 1:47SPEAKER_00: You may discover that you can tolerate discomfort even when you don't receive the response you hope for.
- 1:54SPEAKER_00: Fear of judgment can cause triggers to happen.
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: Learn to separate helpful criticism from hurtful judgment.
- 2:04SPEAKER_00: Constructive feedback identifies something specific you can improve.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: Unhelpful judgment makes assumptions or attacks your character.
- 2:17SPEAKER_00: You can consider useful feedback without accepting someone's negative view of you as the truth.
- 2:24SPEAKER_00: You don't always need to justify your choices, apologize for having an opinion, or repeatedly check whether someone is upset with you.
- 2:34SPEAKER_00: Practice saying what you mean calmly and allowing other people to have their reactions.
- 2:40SPEAKER_00: You can be kind and considerate without taking responsibility for everybody else's feelings.
- 2:47SPEAKER_00: If you are thinking of harming yourself or feel unsafe, please call your local emergency number or crisis line.