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Technically The Twilight Episode? · Hocus Pocus Lack Of Focus

• 0:24
  Do you agree to others project? The hocus pocus Lack of focus,
• 0:28
  The very uneducational podcast that mixes neuro divergent
• 0:31
  witchcraft, paranormal activity, conspiracies, true crime and
• 0:35
  general shy talk open one big cluster fuck of a podcast.
• 0:39
  I'm justy and I once thought I was a werewolf, but I'm not so
• 0:42
  sure. No, I'm joined, as always, by
• 0:47
  our Hostess with the most cheers.
• 0:49
  Who wants a month she goes Ferrell due to her relationship
• 0:53
  with the moon. No, she's not a werewolf.
• 0:55
  She's something much worse. A woman.
• 0:58
  Oh, put a bucket under it, you bloody gaping wound, you
• 1:01
  disgusting bitch. It's Danny Thomas.
• 1:10
  They get worse and worse and funnier.
• 1:15
  What are we? What are we talking about this
• 1:18
  week, Danny? You guess.
• 1:23
  It's JFK, right? To be.
• 1:28
  To be. Fair it was going to be right
• 1:31
  and I I do this all the time when I did this on the last
• 1:34
  podcast I would. Insist.
• 1:36
  On the topic for next week, just not do it.
• 1:40
  So yeah, it's it's. You've you're always
• 1:45
  belligerently drunk by the end of the podcast saying this is
• 1:48
  what we're going to do next week and then you have no
• 1:50
  recollection of the previous week.
• 1:54
  That's not me. It is.
• 2:02
  Like I've had like literally I'll like I'll I slide in DMS
• 2:05
  all the time when I'm drunk. Like, not even just like guys.
• 2:09
  I'm just like, oh Louise, you look fucking lovely.
• 2:12
  I'm so glad you have a great life.
• 2:16
  Or someone who hates dudes so much.
• 2:18
  You were you're so fucking man caught it like that's.
• 2:22
  The most Oh yeah, that's. The most man thing I've ever
• 2:25
  heard in my life. Just I know I.
• 2:27
  Know get drunk and slayed into women's DMS to tell them they're
• 2:30
  hot. You send fire emojis on fucking
• 2:33
  stories. Legit and then if a man slides
• 2:36
  in my DMS I'm like why are you talking to?
• 2:40
  Unless he's a Mexican. This is true.
• 2:46
  I got flowers yesterday from a Mexican that he got from his
• 2:49
  gardening job. Yeah.
• 2:56
  As, as you said, that kills me. And he really liked it too.
• 3:00
  So it's it's OK. It's funny.
• 3:02
  Pretty sure Alex was editing it being like I can't continue to
• 3:05
  put my name. Just just.
• 3:08
  An actual, actual film studio and he's going to get famous and
• 3:13
  then someone's going to go back and.
• 3:14
  Take off this. Podcast and cancel.
• 3:17
  It that's why he needs to have a fake name.
• 3:20
  And Speaking of changing, I don't, I don't fucking know
• 3:30
  people who change into wolves. That's the best.
• 3:36
  That's the best segue I could do.
• 3:38
  Only at certain times of the month, just like me, I also
• 3:41
  change into a wolf for five days out of the month.
• 3:45
  An injured an injured, dying wolf.
• 3:49
  Just a bloody slug trailing wound juice.
• 3:57
  Slug. Yeah, it's so accurate.
• 4:01
  I hate it. I like because it's like I'm
• 4:07
  like always, I always like see, I always talk about with the
• 4:10
  girls and like there's still, it's like there's still girls
• 4:13
  that are like really uncomfortable talking with the
• 4:14
  period. I don't know why, but like
• 4:16
  there's like maybe like at least twice a week I'll bring up like
• 4:22
  period blood clots like at least twice a week just out of nowhere
• 4:25
  for like. Oh, blood clot, period Blue.
• 4:35
  Well, like I'll just I'll I'll bring that up and I'm like, you
• 4:37
  know, when you like you just feel it there and then you have
• 4:39
  to kind of like at least it's just like that's just doesn't
• 4:44
  don't talk about that. And then like Mickey is like as
• 4:46
  gross as me and she's like, oh, no, like that's I completely get
• 4:50
  that. It's so satisfying when you get
• 4:51
  it out and I'm like, yes, yeah, yeah.
• 4:56
  Funny slug is there's certain things like like there's certain
• 5:01
  things like I can say, but I don't want to hear you.
• 5:06
  Say, oh, yeah, I get this as well sometimes, like girls kind
• 5:11
  of like they'll think that I will be like disgusted by this
• 5:17
  kind of stuff. You know, I like to bring this
• 5:19
  to bring this kind of thing up as well.
• 5:20
  Like, I don't give a fuck. Like I don't care.
• 5:25
  Never like I never understood why men would give a fuck but
• 5:29
  like saying that it wasn't until I started doing it with my ex at
• 5:33
  like 27 years old he was the only guy whoever was like would
• 5:38
  just buy me pads and like tampons and stuff in the shop
• 5:41
  like other guys are just no I'm not getting that.
• 5:44
  I like why? Why don't get just just just
• 5:46
  wait? I only my.
• 5:48
  My thing about that, though, is, and it's not I'm not afraid to
• 5:52
  go in and buy stuff, it's that I don't know what like I'll have
• 5:56
  to be like, tell me the specific thing you want.
• 5:59
  Oh yeah, I will call the media. Picture yeah, like he's like
• 6:03
  just send like just send me like go online and find a picture of
• 6:06
  the ones that you want and like, well, they're not like I had
• 6:09
  guys before, but like, no, I'm not going not like fucking like
• 6:11
  get them yourself. That's discussed.
• 6:12
  And I'm just like, not one woman or man in that fucking Tesco is
• 6:17
  going to think he has tampons. Gay.
• 6:20
  I'd be strong. I'd be like, hey, I don't know
• 6:23
  what. I have a girlfriend.
• 6:24
  She has a period someone just probably assumes.
• 6:32
  I mean, buying it for my mother though, that's, that's weird
• 6:34
  like. That's did you have obviously
• 6:38
  house full of women when you were growing up, did you?
• 6:41
  Did your mom keep the pads and the tampons under the sink?
• 6:47
  That's an Irish mommy thing to do.
• 6:49
  I don't, I don't know. I do remember once all my
• 6:53
  sisters might kill me all this, but I do remember once my mother
• 6:58
  flipped out because my sisters let like I've been like fall
• 7:06
  over in. No, it was just it was.
• 7:10
  I remember coming up and the landing actually here and the
• 7:13
  landing and there was a used Fanny pads on the is such a
• 7:22
  funny thing for a 40 year old man to say, but there was huge
• 7:25
  jam rags on the fucking out in the landing.
• 7:28
  And obviously they were you know, they were bloody like I
• 7:32
  wouldn't say there was a big mess there, but like they were.
• 7:35
  But my mom went mad like and she fucking flipped out.
• 7:38
  My sisters about like to stay at a place like you know what is
• 7:41
  but like, you know, it happened once that it was one thing, but
• 7:44
  I just that's just something that in in my head.
• 7:47
  I remember. I remember like being a young
• 7:49
  lad then because I'm like the youngest of my siblings, like so
• 7:52
  I I remember just being like, EW, dirty.
• 7:57
  And it wasn't the blue. I was like my scissors vaginas
• 8:04
  so. Yeah.
• 8:06
  This is a podcast that I put out to the public.
• 8:08
  Why am I saying this? It ties in, it does say.
• 8:13
  But yeah, like my, my mom kind of had like this whole thing
• 8:15
  where, like, I mean, obviously it was my my dad, my three
• 8:18
  brothers, my mom and like me and me and my sister.
• 8:22
  And like, that whole house was just arranged to not make the
• 8:27
  boys uncomfortable. You couldn't be seen.
• 8:30
  Like we couldn't have pads or tampons in the bathroom.
• 8:32
  You kept them in your room or downstairs in the kitchen under.
• 8:36
  The I suppose. I don't know.
• 8:37
  I don't know if that was the case in my house.
• 8:40
  It's a very Irish mummy thing to do.
• 8:43
  It could have been. That way, but because I was so
• 8:46
  young in comparison to to my sis, I probably wouldn't just
• 8:52
  notice that stuff, you know? Yeah, yeah.
• 8:56
  So again, yeah. I just remember going to like
• 9:00
  boyfriends houses back then when I was a teenager and like they'd
• 9:03
  all have their pads like in the same place in the kitchen under
• 9:06
  the sink. So they probably were there and
• 9:08
  you just didn't notice. In the kitchen, under the sink.
• 9:12
  Under the sink in the kitchen, because I suppose you do the
• 9:14
  shop, you bring everything in, you just hide it away with the
• 9:17
  fucking bleach. See, we, we always had a press
• 9:20
  under the under the sink in the bathroom.
• 9:23
  So I imagine that's where they were.
• 9:25
  Oh, yeah, maybe. But like we didn't, we had like
• 9:27
  we didn't have, we had like one of those.
• 9:30
  I think she had like a stand, you know, those tiny standing
• 9:33
  shells. Pedestal shells.
• 9:35
  OK, she had one of those. And it was all just like expired
• 9:39
  shampoo and conditioner and like old lady face creams and stuff
• 9:43
  from like the fucking 80s. And then the top drawer, that or
• 9:48
  the bottom drawer would be like sometimes feminine products, but
• 9:51
  mostly that it was like spare toothbrushes and razors and
• 9:54
  things like that. What?
• 9:55
  This doesn't actually have anything to do where it was, but
• 9:58
  I remember I went home to visit one time and everyone had moved
• 10:02
  out at this point and my mom had been like bragging about her new
• 10:07
  doors. She got on the bathroom fresh
• 10:09
  fucking white doors. Me dad was like we're a nice
• 10:12
  doors, aren't they? Like look at that handle handles
• 10:15
  lovely on him now. He did a grand job.
• 10:17
  I told I like so it was tiny little bathroom right and like
• 10:20
  when you sit on the toilet, you like face the door, right.
• 10:25
  I took a tampon out with such force that I just went.
• 10:29
  I got blood all the way up the door.
• 10:33
  Fucking hell, I'd be suck. What what?
• 10:37
  Where do you what you think about the way that fucking whip
• 10:41
  what it? Wouldn't it wouldn't come out
• 10:43
  right? It was like it was I couldn't
• 10:46
  get it out for a little bit and I was just telling like, oh
• 10:48
  fuck. Then I was like, right, I got to
• 10:50
  work at this and then just like all up the door and I sat there
• 10:54
  and I was like, oh, no, I was just like, well, it's a modern,
• 10:58
  it's a modern painted door. Hopefully I can just wipe it
• 11:01
  clean. And I got it all off, so it was
• 11:02
  fine. But yeah, I was like.
• 11:04
  Your door looking like a Jackson Pollock paint and your brand
• 11:07
  your dad's brand new doors. I'd say he would have and it.
• 11:09
  Was like, oh, because usually those door, the doors that have
• 11:12
  like the glass panel at the top it's.
• 11:15
  Called a fan line. All the all the all right.
• 11:19
  Fucking I know what home, I know what things are.
• 11:27
  Like it went all the way up to the glass.
• 11:29
  So stand up on the back to get all of it.
• 11:33
  I don't know what I did. My fucking period Hulk strength.
• 11:37
  Just fucking like the bathroom look like fucking Silent Hill.
• 11:43
  Nice. Well, now that we've got rid of
• 11:46
  all the male listeners and probably most of the female
• 11:49
  listeners, should we should we be talking about werewolves?
• 11:55
  Werewolves. Specifically, you want to talk
• 12:00
  about the the the werewolf trials.
• 12:03
  The werewolf trials in Europe during the 1500s, Yes.
• 12:08
  Specifically, I've got a vague kind of, I will be, I will be
• 12:13
  trusting you to educate me today because I've kind of got a vague
• 12:17
  like memory of this kind of stuff.
• 12:19
  I will point out as well, so a lot of this does take place in
• 12:22
  Europe. Like that way we're all the
• 12:25
  weird people that eat, they smell like soup and stuff and
• 12:28
  this is just a racist part. Hold, hold on.
• 12:36
  As someone who is currently seeing one of those Sue
• 12:41
  smellers, I would be remiss. I would be remiss if I didn't at
• 12:49
  least scold you a little bit there, Danny.
• 12:51
  And I know this is probably payback for all the the the
• 12:56
  Mexican chat from our last episode, but explain yourself,
• 13:01
  Pepsi. Came out of my nose.
• 13:06
  What's going on? I.
• 13:07
  Laughed. And then Pepsi came out of my
• 13:10
  nose. Yes, folks, that was a hocus
• 13:17
  pocus lack of focus. Thank you for.
• 13:20
  No, it's out there, it's cold and everyone smells like soup.
• 13:24
  Blades of Glory quote. You should get that.
• 13:29
  Yeah, no, I don't. I should though, because I do
• 13:34
  like Blades of Glory. Glory is so funny.
• 13:38
  But yeah, so anyway, most of the cases today, like they all like
• 13:44
  come from out that way because the fucking Brits had eradicated
• 13:48
  all of the wolves from the UK and Ireland and.
• 13:53
  Well, don't blame the Brits for the Irish stuff.
• 13:55
  We can blame the Brits for a lot of stuff, but like.
• 13:58
  Basically, there are no documented cases of lichens
• 14:04
  lycanthropy. Lycanthropy.
• 14:06
  Yes. You.
• 14:07
  Yeah, you nailed it. Yeah.
• 14:09
  There is no documented cases really in the UK and Ireland
• 14:14
  because we didn't have a hefty wolf population for quite some
• 14:18
  time. So fucking knows.
• 14:22
  Jesus Christ. I have lemon meringue, gin and
• 14:25
  Pepsi in my nose. So werewolves, if you don't know
• 14:30
  what they are, you're they turn into wolves at night certain
• 14:35
  times of the month under a full moon.
• 14:38
  So David, werewolf. I'm Alex.
• 14:43
  What's going on here? What is happening right now?
• 14:46
  What is happening? Having a stroke.
• 14:49
  I'm having a stroke. OK, so where?
• 14:51
  Was I was having a fucking stroke?
• 14:53
  Ancient literature between 20 100 and what the fuck did I do
• 15:01
  in these notes before Jesus anyway?
• 15:04
  2100 that's not That hasn't even happened yet.
• 15:09
  Werewolves will happen in the future, ladies and gentlemen.
• 15:12
  You've heard it here first from Looking Nostradamus.
• 15:16
  Anyway. They came from this Russian
• 15:19
  tribe where the original stories called the Newry.
• 15:23
  And basically these, this tribe could turn themselves into
• 15:28
  wolves like at their will. So they would just be like, I
• 15:32
  want to be a wolf today. And then they would, they would
• 15:34
  do it. As Christianity then starts
• 15:36
  spreading around Europe in the 1500s, there's a huge rise in
• 15:40
  accusations of witchcraft. At this time.
• 15:44
  People are super paranoid. Like, everybody's kind of like
• 15:48
  making wild accusations for like, nothing.
• 15:51
  Like I saw that woman reading. Which or like.
• 15:54
  If your neighbor pissed you off or something, it would just be
• 15:57
  so easy to go over and be like, oh, I saw her doing something.
• 16:00
  Whatever. Most people being burned out,
• 16:03
  the stake times were tough and I think people were just kind of
• 16:06
  fucking bored. So if the church were declaring
• 16:10
  that riches witches were real, they would have to kind of
• 16:16
  accept that werewolves were too. And the reason that they were
• 16:21
  condemned by the church is that basically only God can transform
• 16:26
  things, right? So if you are able to transform
• 16:31
  into another creature, you're automatically just associated
• 16:34
  with the devil. So they assumed that anyone who
• 16:38
  was a werewolf, even though like I'll get, I'll get into the
• 16:43
  fucking trial of that in a second, you were automatically
• 16:46
  associated. Devil.
• 16:48
  And. Your audio has gone very low.
• 16:55
  Technical difficulties. Running with the Oh God, only
• 17:00
  God can transform stuff. Running with Bevo.
• 17:06
  We're recording, by the way. Oh suck my Dick world.
• 17:14
  So what I. Don't know, I think we're both
• 17:18
  goofballs tonight. I don't know what the fucking
• 17:20
  deal is right, but one of the 1st 2:00.
• 17:23
  One go. It's fine, it'll be fine.
• 17:41
  It'll all be OK in the end. So one of the first werewolf
• 17:45
  trials happened in France and it became known as the Palini
• 17:49
  trial. It all started on a Dark Knight
• 17:51
  15-O1IN Palini, France. There had been a terrible storm
• 17:55
  that day, and a farmer called Pierre Burgeau Burgo was out
• 18:00
  looking for his sheep, which had all gotten lost in the woods.
• 18:03
  This is when he was approached by three men on horseback, and
• 18:06
  they were wearing all black cloaks, which walk the other
• 18:10
  way. If you're approached by anyone
• 18:12
  in a cloak, by the way, like, that's never going to be good
• 18:15
  news. And. 15 O1.
• 18:18
  Is it not like a lot more popular to be just like hanging
• 18:21
  around with a cloak on? That's a good point actually.
• 18:24
  I'm not very versed in the fashions of 15 O one in France,
• 18:27
  but. Like if I just saw some clock on
• 18:31
  now I wouldn't like I I wouldn't.
• 18:36
  I just think they were like the autistic kid from What's That
• 18:41
  The Dating thing. So I love on the Spectrum.
• 18:43
  Oh, love on the spectrum, Yeah. I thought you would die.
• 18:47
  The cool that they have, I love. Him by you.
• 18:51
  Yeah, guys, he got his Cape to go to the rain fair and his
• 18:54
  father was like, pretend you're a vampire.
• 18:56
  He's like, but I'm not a vampire.
• 19:01
  My my favorite on that show is Tanner Tanner with the Chism on
• 19:06
  Instagram. I love him so much I would.
• 19:09
  The most awesome kid in the world.
• 19:15
  Yeah, like. No, he is.
• 19:17
  He's so cute. And it's like I always see like
• 19:20
  people talking about like there's always like videos
• 19:22
  talking about their boy cats. And it's like, this is what it's
• 19:25
  like to have a boy cat. And it's like, hey, Kate, you
• 19:27
  know what I liked about you? You're pretty and funny.
• 19:33
  I'm just like, that's so true. Because boy cats are always
• 19:35
  obsessed with their women. Yeah, Shingles has a really good
• 19:42
  bit about autistic kids being being cats and Down syndrome
• 19:48
  kids being dogs. And it's.
• 19:51
  So funny. It's the way he the explanation
• 19:55
  is so good, like because you're like, oh man, don't fuck with
• 19:59
  this. Like he could be this could go
• 20:01
  source out, but it's he nails it so well, like.
• 20:05
  Yeah, no, it's like it's, it's that's so accurate as well,
• 20:09
  because I always think like, you know, everyone's like, oh, my
• 20:13
  boyfriend's such a golden retriever.
• 20:14
  It's like, I'll say he's a retard.
• 20:16
  Like automatically where I go with that?
• 20:20
  That's crazy. I mean.
• 20:22
  This I'm not. This is a.
• 20:23
  Bad thing like. I can't imagine it like, because
• 20:27
  like a golden retriever boyfriend to me sounds like the
• 20:30
  most fucking annoying thing ever.
• 20:33
  Like you're fucking you're, you're, you're so happy to see
• 20:36
  me all the time. Why?
• 20:37
  I'm a horrible little woman. You're following me from room to
• 20:40
  room. Why you're shooting in my
• 20:42
  garden. I don't.
• 20:46
  Want it shooting in the garden aside, the rest of that is all
• 20:50
  projection. But like the shit in the garden,
• 20:53
  Yeah, like don't, don't let your boyfriend shit in the garden.
• 20:56
  But. No, don't the rest.
• 20:58
  Of that is like, you're like, oh, fucking a guy who's happy to
• 21:01
  see me and is like has enough energy to hang out and want to
• 21:06
  fucking do cool stuff. Oh no.
• 21:09
  I, I just don't, I just don't like it.
• 21:13
  I don't, I don't understand it. And I'm like, and then people
• 21:15
  are like, oh, you'll see these like memes on like TikTok and
• 21:20
  someone not memes. It's just these fucking girls
• 21:21
  being like, by the way, I didn't mean to go full Sydney sweetie
• 21:27
  there, but it's like a filler retriever as well that anyone
• 21:30
  had Deborah men's only like their owners.
• 21:32
  It's just like, like if I have a boyfriend, he's not going to be
• 21:36
  a Doberman or a golden retriever.
• 21:39
  Like I just want. Because.
• 21:43
  He's Mexican. Because he is.
• 21:45
  Mexican. Yeah.
• 21:47
  You get it. I get it for what are like
• 21:51
  Chupacabra. There you go.
• 21:53
  I want, I was going to do the whole my, I was going to do a
• 21:56
  chupacabra base Chupacabra, Chupacabra, He's a chupacabra.
• 22:02
  I was going to do it. Chupacabra.
• 22:06
  I was going to do something that was like Chupacabra because
• 22:10
  that's like, well, it's not really the Mexican werewolf.
• 22:14
  What I was going to do it and then it was going to be about
• 22:16
  goat sucker and you being the the goat at sucking.
• 22:20
  And then I just couldn't piece it together.
• 22:22
  So I just came up with some You bleed now you're funny kind of
• 22:25
  stuff. Stop.
• 22:27
  No, I like that's a trend as well, right?
• 22:30
  And I feel like that's a huge thing lately as we were talking
• 22:34
  about this the other day. How like I saw this Reddit story
• 22:39
  and this girl walked in on her mom and eaten her dad's ass and
• 22:46
  they're both like in their 60s right?
• 22:48
  It's a healthy relationship. Yeah, and it was like, basically
• 22:52
  like how we wouldn't be having this like issue like 5-10 years
• 22:56
  ago. Like no one ate ass like 10
• 22:59
  years ago. I'm like, where the fuck were
• 23:00
  you? I feel like if they're in their
• 23:03
  60s, they didn't just like find that they didn't just come
• 23:07
  across like an Instagram post and be like, no, they were.
• 23:10
  Probably. Doing.
• 23:10
  That about that. Like he was away at war and he
• 23:14
  was writing her letters being like, wait to tongue that whole
• 23:17
  Edith. That's a cold and long here in
• 23:21
  Germany. Yeah, I like salad.
• 23:24
  Tossing has been around since fucking salads existed, so.
• 23:28
  I don't understand why it's called salad tossing.
• 23:31
  I don't understand that term. Yeah, me neither.
• 23:34
  But I, yeah, I just, I just don't.
• 23:40
  I turn my earphones off because they're annoying me.
• 23:43
  Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you.
• 23:46
  Cool. And yeah, and then so there was,
• 23:49
  there was somebody basically saying like, oh, if he doesn't
• 23:52
  eat it when you're on your period, he's pussy.
• 23:55
  And I'm just like, that's also not a thing like I would expect
• 24:00
  anyone to do or want to do. Like, unless you actively like
• 24:04
  to eat pennies, I don't think that that's.
• 24:07
  Yeah, I don't mind the the I don't mind the rusty kind of it
• 24:09
  all, but I do. I do stay.
• 24:14
  I do if, if, if if it need be. Let's say if if the mood would
• 24:21
  take a fancy. I have been known to to chow on
• 24:25
  the moon blood, but only fucking.
• 24:27
  Hell. I, I would, I would keep it at
• 24:31
  the, you know, the, the precipice.
• 24:33
  I would not dare to enter. I, I would, eh, I'd stick with
• 24:39
  the man in the board, if you know what I mean.
• 24:41
  Like, you know, I'd give I, I'd, I'd, I'd be licking the Cliff.
• 24:46
  Is, is what I would say. I'd love that you were trying.
• 24:49
  You were trying to make it sound like so polite, like the man in
• 24:53
  the boat when you just went licking the clit.
• 24:56
  Yeah, well, I didn't know if you knew.
• 24:58
  I didn't know if the I didn't. Know if you knew what a clit
• 25:01
  was. No, I didn't know if you knew
• 25:03
  that it was referred to as the man in the boat.
• 25:05
  Yes. I do well.
• 25:07
  Like you didn't know what a gig pipe was last fucking.
• 25:10
  Month I did not know what I I gig pipe is self-explanatory.
• 25:17
  It's disgusting, but it's self-explanatory.
• 25:19
  Well, I can tell you now because the gig pipe conversation never
• 25:23
  made it to the light of day. So there's people listening now
• 25:28
  that are like, what's he talking about?
• 25:29
  Which one is the gig pipe and the gig by the way?
• 25:32
  Everybody so. Just he had really bad diarrhea
• 25:36
  last week and he was talking about his gig pipe a lot.
• 25:43
  And that was like, what? That night we spent maybe close
• 25:46
  to an hour trying to get the recording to work.
• 25:49
  Yeah. And it didn't work, which
• 25:52
  happens a lot around here. And now we're on Zoom.
• 25:53
  So if it sounds like this is recorded in a fucking cave,
• 25:56
  that's why. Yeah, we have deviated very far.
• 26:03
  Hold on, let me bring it back. I'm I'm, I'm going to follow the
• 26:07
  tread back here because I've had to learn how to do this.
• 26:10
  So dooby Doo. We're talking about gig pipes,
• 26:13
  clitoris, moon blood, salad tossing.
• 26:19
  And. Reddit stories somewhere we went
• 26:23
  from Chihuahua. Yeah, back to golden retriever
• 26:29
  boyfriend, to autistics, to capes, to tree men with capes.
• 26:35
  Came across this French fokker. Oh, it's.
• 26:38
  Because we got talking about clothes and then we got talking
• 26:42
  a little on the spectrum because the guy had a cloak.
• 26:44
  There we go. Yes, yes, I did.
• 26:47
  Just I did get him to tread back.
• 26:49
  I like that game. It's good.
• 26:52
  But this is the lack of focus portion of the podcast.
• 26:58
  So basically, where are my notes?
• 27:02
  Yeah. So one of the guys was like, OK,
• 27:06
  three things are going to happen. 1 is that he would find
• 27:10
  all of his lost sheep, 2, that he would be protected and never
• 27:14
  have any more troubles, and three, that he would be given
• 27:18
  money in exchange for basically signing up to be a werewolf.
• 27:25
  Pierre would have to quote, serve the man's master and meet
• 27:30
  with the man again in five days and quote.
• 27:32
  So Pierre was like, all right, fine, why not?
• 27:36
  Because he makes his money off the sheep, right?
• 27:39
  So he's like, couldn't really hurt.
• 27:42
  So. Immediately after he says yes,
• 27:45
  Pierre finds all of his sheep. Five days later, he goes back to
• 27:50
  meet with this mysterious man in the cloak and learns that this
• 27:53
  guy's name is, I can't pronounce that something French.
• 28:00
  Very wolf. That's German.
• 28:05
  OK. MOISA, Moisa.
• 28:13
  Spell that again. Sorry, I was too busy laughing
• 28:14
  at my own joke. MOISA.
• 28:18
  MOISA. Yeah, Misha.
• 28:23
  No. If we're going to go with like
• 28:25
  if it's French, then they will go with like.
• 28:28
  I'm, why is it? I'm Why is that?
• 28:31
  So call Mark. So Mark was a servant and
• 28:39
  appears like, oh shit, like I'm in a fucking pickle.
• 28:43
  But you know, a deal is a deal. I'm here in the woods with a
• 28:46
  servant of the devil. Whatever, got to see it through
• 28:49
  now. So beautiful.
• 28:54
  And so he swears allegiance to the devil and he renounces
• 28:57
  Christianity forever. And according to Pierre, he
• 29:00
  kissed this mysterious man's left hand, which he described as
• 29:03
  black as ice and black and ice cold as that of a ports here
• 29:10
  goes on to serve the devil for two years.
• 29:12
  And just as a man promised, here's flock of sheep was
• 29:15
  protected and he had good fortune, which.
• 29:18
  Right. OK.
• 29:19
  All right, all right. Is it just safe to say that your
• 29:26
  sheep aren't protected by the devil?
• 29:28
  You're just a little bit more careful about letting them out
• 29:31
  in bad weather because you're going to be cautious after you
• 29:34
  lost them the first time. Do you know what I mean?
• 29:38
  I've got no details on what the good fortune was like.
• 29:42
  I don't think he got fucking loaded but.
• 29:45
  This is funny because it's very similar to an I, an old Irish
• 29:49
  folklore tale about werewolves. Maybe I'll go.
• 29:56
  Maybe I'll go into that when you're finished with the trials
• 29:57
  because you're going to have to and go through like I'm I'll
• 30:01
  derail things all together if I go through the Irish stuff.
• 30:03
  So maybe I'll go, I'll tell you about Irish werewolves at the
• 30:06
  end. What This sounds fairly similar
• 30:09
  to I've got. Two big trials, we'll finish
• 30:13
  this one and then we'll go back onto that one similar.
• 30:16
  And then the other one is actually like legal
• 30:18
  documentation about it and stuff.
• 30:20
  So this one is just literally like myth, whatever.
• 30:25
  So deep down, he is really kind of like a good Christian guy.
• 30:29
  And he's kind of like, he feels badly about it.
• 30:31
  And he's like, I gotta get back to the church and fucking like
• 30:35
  jonesing for some communion wafers or whatever the fuck they
• 30:38
  do. And he goes back to church, but
• 30:43
  then he's approached by like another weird dude in a cloak.
• 30:46
  So these guys kind of won't really leave him alone.
• 30:50
  His name was Michelle. And he reminds me of Dodgeball.
• 30:55
  Misha. Blazer.
• 30:56
  Blazer. Misha.
• 30:59
  Oh, it's such a good movie. I haven't seen that news.
• 31:02
  Name was Michelle. And he persuaded Pierre to
• 31:04
  return to the devil, telling him that the devil would give him
• 31:07
  even more money, but only if he came into the woods.
• 31:10
  Like, I don't at this point, I don't think anything good is
• 31:14
  going to happen in the woods with men in cloaks.
• 31:18
  Like, it just isn't. But he goes anyway.
• 31:21
  He's just like more money. OK?
• 31:24
  So they go and they bring him to this like ceremony that's
• 31:29
  happening in the woods. And all of a sudden, this
• 31:33
  Michelle guy just turned into a werewolf right in front of him.
• 31:37
  And then for a good reason, Pierre loses his shit.
• 31:39
  He's just like, fucks going on, you know?
• 31:41
  So later on, Pierre goes to trial and he shares his
• 31:47
  experience during the trial. Quote in a wood.
• 31:51
  We met with many whom did, who I did not recognize.
• 31:54
  We danced and each had in their hand a green taper with a blue
• 31:58
  flame. Still, under the delusion that I
• 32:01
  should obtain money, Michelle persuaded me to dance.
• 32:04
  And in order to do this, after I had stripped myself, he smeared
• 32:09
  me with a salve. And I believe myself to be
• 32:12
  transformed into a wolf. That's just literally, I'm an
• 32:15
  acid at parties and that exact thing has happened.
• 32:19
  I don't think that. Yeah, I suppose like the like
• 32:22
  that's one explanation for it. They all did, like, back in the
• 32:26
  day. It's like, so it's like peyote,
• 32:27
  right? It's like that one that sends
• 32:29
  you on, like, your spiritual journey.
• 32:31
  Yeah. Yeah, your spirit quest people
• 32:33
  like it could just it could just be magic mushrooms as well.
• 32:36
  Just make a pace that will magic mushrooms and fucking get you a
• 32:40
  high as fuck like. I miss much but anyway, so he
• 32:46
  afraid to ship myself. He's made me with a salve and I
• 32:48
  believe myself then to be transformed into.
• 32:51
  I was at first somewhat horrified at my 4 wolfs feet
• 32:55
  from the fur with which I was covered all at once, but I found
• 32:58
  that I could now travel with the speed of the wind.
• 33:01
  Quote. So according to Pierre he went.
• 33:05
  He spent two hours as a werewolf before Michelle rubbed him down
• 33:08
  with that magical ointment again and then poof, he turned back
• 33:12
  into a human. So I want to know what this
• 33:13
  ointment was. Once Pierre experienced his
• 33:17
  transformation, he was just like, OK, yeah, fucking I'm in.
• 33:21
  He really liked it, and he didn't want to stop, so he and
• 33:25
  Michelle would go out constantly as werewolves and terrorize the
• 33:28
  community. One day, a man from the church
• 33:30
  is passing through his area, and out of nowhere, he's attacked by
• 33:33
  a wolf. He actually manages to fight the
• 33:35
  wolf off and apparently injuries the wolf, injuries the wolf so
• 33:38
  he can get away. And then he's just like, I'm
• 33:41
  going to fucking follow this thing and finish it off.
• 33:44
  So he follows like, the trail of blood.
• 33:46
  But this wolf leaves and it leads him straight to Michelle's
• 33:52
  cabin in the middle of the woods.
• 33:55
  And this guy knocks on the door and then finds Michelle getting
• 33:58
  first aid treatment from his wife like so.
• 34:02
  And he's like, all right, this is obviously evidence this man
• 34:04
  is werewolf. Not not a single logical thought
• 34:09
  was had that this man might have been injured by the same wolf in
• 34:14
  the area. Yeah, that's gas.
• 34:17
  That's funny. So.
• 34:21
  Straight away they bought like it is like the witch trials like
• 34:24
  where it's like, Oh my God, that woman farted.
• 34:28
  She's a witch. Women don't fart like you can do
• 34:31
  math. Yeah, this is.
• 34:36
  I genuinely do think women who can do maths are with.
• 34:38
  I have this calculator so anyone who can do maths to me.
• 34:42
  You have fucking everything daddy, anything you've seen on a
• 34:45
  fucking TikTok reel or whatever. No, I actually was diagnosed.
• 34:49
  It's like, so basically my my dad was like fucking Rain Man.
• 34:53
  You can give him like any number of numbers and he can just do it
• 34:57
  in his head like he's a fucking he was a freak when it came to
• 35:00
  numbers. Why do if you if you throw like
• 35:05
  more than two numbers that mean my brain just short circuit.
• 35:08
  I cannot do it. I just can't do it.
• 35:11
  And it was always like, oh, you know, you're just lazy.
• 35:16
  You just don't. You just don't want to learn.
• 35:18
  You just you've brains to burn if you don't want to use them,
• 35:20
  which is like a huge fucking thing that they said in in Irish
• 35:24
  schools. And I had to do foundation maths
• 35:29
  for the leave insert, right? I couldn't, I couldn't even do
• 35:33
  that. I was, I just could not do it.
• 35:35
  And it wasn't until like years later.
• 35:38
  So there was actually diagnosed which is calcula, which
• 35:41
  basically means like just can't do.
• 35:42
  It's like it's kind of like dyslexia but for.
• 35:45
  Numbers, is it? It's numerical dyslexia, as that
• 35:47
  was, yeah. Just can't, cannot get my head
• 35:52
  around numbers. Like I just it's.
• 35:54
  It's really like worrying that I work in a bank.
• 35:58
  Let's. Gas yeah, I am.
• 36:02
  I did ordinary level maths and failed it and then and then
• 36:09
  became like I'm not bad with numbers, just all like all the
• 36:14
  algebra shake that like and we've not used not numbers
• 36:18
  anymore. No.
• 36:19
  Numbers anymore like what am I going to use this?
• 36:22
  I'm doing English. I was doing fucking German and I
• 36:25
  was doing like generally I was doing Irish.
• 36:27
  I think those are my letter. I'm at the limit for my letters
• 36:30
  right now. Please.
• 36:31
  Thank you fucking X into solve for X Why am I ever going to be
• 36:36
  in buying a fucking fruit, not bar your ones are going to go
• 36:39
  that'll be 77 pence plus X solve for X Fuck off spa and then I
• 36:45
  became a. Root of 56.
• 36:47
  Then I became a Carpenter and all all the mats like huh?
• 36:54
  That's measuring though, right? You got to measure stuff.
• 36:56
  Yeah, trigonometry involved in it as well.
• 36:58
  And a fucking class of that absolutely class of that fucking
• 37:02
  Pythagoras theorem all over it. The fucking square root of
• 37:05
  hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the square.
• 37:06
  The other two sides, it's fucking piece of piss.
• 37:10
  And 345, it's fucking fantastic. It just makes so much sense.
• 37:15
  Triangles make more sense than anything else.
• 37:18
  If all you could just have triangles as friends that will
• 37:21
  be that'll be perfect. Maybe I am autistic as well,
• 37:25
  Maybe I thought it was. Wrong.
• 37:25
  I think you're autistic. I'm I'm definitely autistic.
• 37:28
  I have a diagnosis and it's great but I'm like the ocean
• 37:32
  autistic not I struggle to wipe my own eyes properly autistic.
• 37:36
  Yeah, we you mentioned that a lot can let's let's head back to
• 37:42
  France and Michelle's in the cabin get fucking getting some
• 37:47
  CPR of his missiles. So Michelle is Michelle.
• 37:53
  I'm going to call him Michelle. So or we could just for fun,
• 38:00
  Calling Miguel would also be lost werewolves.
• 38:06
  No, I don't like. I don't like that I don't like
• 38:09
  that you. Don't like Michelle?
• 38:11
  Like Miguel? Miguel No.
• 38:13
  Why I don't like, I don't like those Hispanic names.
• 38:21
  Not a not a big fan. Like Juan Juanita. 1123 Shake
• 38:30
  your body. Now let's not get into the
• 38:32
  Mexican block. Now let's.
• 38:34
  Get No. It's my fault I I leaned into
• 38:37
  it. This guy knocks on the door,
• 38:40
  basically finds him getting like first aid and he's like
• 38:44
  werewolf. So Michelle is arrested because
• 38:48
  obviously he's tortured and then ultimately ultimately admits to
• 38:53
  being a werewolf. And on top of that, he names
• 38:56
  Pierre as his accomplice. He had, he had no need to do
• 39:01
  that though. Like he was the one that roped
• 39:04
  him in with his fucking sexy cloaks and, you know, keeping a
• 39:08
  sheet that. If you have to believe any of
• 39:10
  this shade though. So like, he's after admitting to
• 39:14
  being a werewolf under torture, Like let's put our little
• 39:18
  fucking reality hats on right now.
• 39:20
  These guys aren't werewolves. So.
• 39:23
  So something, something's going on here.
• 39:26
  Where this this fucker is like I'm gonna accuse this guy,
• 39:30
  you've been a werewolf or whatever.
• 39:31
  He's after seeing some some shit and he's out.
• 39:34
  He's accusing this guy, but they bring them like this isn't the
• 39:38
  only thing that's happened. Like the witch trials is the
• 39:40
  same thing with more of these werewolf stuff where to bring
• 39:43
  people in and they torture them until they're fucking they until
• 39:48
  they admit that they're, you know, confessed to being a
• 39:51
  werewolf and then they get tried as a werewolf.
• 39:55
  But there's also been instances where they've been tortured and
• 40:02
  under torture. They still didn't give up being
• 40:04
  a werewolf, so they were sentenced to death for the crime
• 40:08
  of not admitting to being a werewolf.
• 40:10
  You're fucked if you do and you're fucked if you don't.
• 40:12
  These guys like if no matter what happens if someone accused
• 40:16
  you of being a werewolf, you're now fucked.
• 40:20
  I guess as well it would I if I knew I was going to die either
• 40:23
  way. I think it would just be cooler
• 40:24
  to be like, yeah, I'm a werewolf.
• 40:26
  Like, you know, But then it also depends on like, so when
• 40:32
  they're, when they were trialing, like people being
• 40:34
  like, we're trying to accuse them of being like witches.
• 40:38
  It would be like, oh, we're going to push it off a Cliff.
• 40:43
  And then if you fly to safety, you're a witch.
• 40:47
  If you die, you've died a noble death because you're not a
• 40:49
  witch. And we've been in the wrong, but
• 40:51
  you still. It's the scene.
• 40:53
  If they're floating as well, they throw them in, they tied
• 40:56
  them to a chair and throw them into the throw them into a lake.
• 40:58
  And then they're like, well, if she floats, she's a witch and
• 41:02
  we'll kill her and then she drowns, she dies.
• 41:05
  She's got a witch and we've killed her.
• 41:08
  Like that's, that's it. Like I think they just at this
• 41:11
  time, they just wanted to kill people.
• 41:13
  Like it was just which I I mean, I can't blame them.
• 41:17
  It sounds like a lot of fun, but like.
• 41:20
  That's. But if I could like easily
• 41:22
  accuse A neighbor oh like that I didn't like or like someone in
• 41:26
  work being like I'd be like well I saw this guy RIP his shirt and
• 41:32
  then scream at the moon. So arrest that man, Guards.
• 41:37
  Yeah, I'd have all my enemies killed if I could to be.
• 41:39
  Honest, same, absolutely same. I would just be like, yeah, like
• 41:43
  fuck you. So anyway, in 1521, Michael and
• 41:49
  Pierre are officially accused of cannibalism and witchcraft.
• 41:54
  So not like, counterfeit. Can't say that word.
• 42:00
  Like Anthropy? Is it like anthropy?
• 42:02
  Yeah, like Anthropy. Like Anthropy?
• 42:04
  And I believe it's it's named after because a lot of this
• 42:08
  stuff would be named after the, the, the Greek or the, the
• 42:15
  what's the Latin. But the Latin for wolf is lupine
• 42:20
  to be wolf of like is lupine. But lycanthropy is named after
• 42:26
  this ancient Greek king I believe, who was called lichen
• 42:31
  and. Oh yeah.
• 42:33
  He was. I think they did.
• 42:34
  See that when I was researching. Yeah, so he turned into a wolf
• 42:37
  and then they were like, oh, that's he is.
• 42:39
  He's like anthropic. He is he that's what he is.
• 42:42
  He is a lichen. So then that's why they call
• 42:45
  wolves or werewolves lichens and not like lupins, right, Right.
• 42:51
  That was. Sorry, that was a little nerdy
• 42:53
  kind of detour. No, I mean another little little
• 42:57
  detour we will get back. I'm not going to go too far with
• 43:01
  it, but it just it was really interesting.
• 43:03
  Actually reminded me of you a lot is I watched the the Charlie
• 43:08
  Sheen documentary on Netflix. Reminded you of me.
• 43:13
  No, no, no. Because I had AIDS riddled.
• 43:17
  No HIV. Actually, no, you'll see what it
• 43:21
  literally just because they Chuck is it Chuck Lohr, but did
• 43:27
  the so basically he like was talking with the premise of the
• 43:32
  show and stuff and he was like, oh, it's like this like straight
• 43:35
  and narrow like brother, and then they like he called him
• 43:39
  like a Dionysian brother, which I was just like which is really
• 43:44
  cool. I thought I meant to actually
• 43:46
  message you about it and then when it because it was like
• 43:48
  episode fucking 1 of this documentary.
• 43:50
  If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend.
• 43:53
  I have watched it but I just didn't pick up on the Dionysian.
• 43:57
  Which I thought was really cool because I was just like, it's
• 44:01
  such a cool, like it's a cool term, the Wayne describing it.
• 44:03
  And it's like, I don't know, it just reminded me of you because
• 44:05
  like obviously like you know about Dionysus and you like,
• 44:08
  have you earned your mythology and stuff like that?
• 44:10
  And I just thought that was like really a really cool kind of
• 44:13
  like way to describe. A way to describe a hedonism,
• 44:16
  which would be. Yeah, the actual literally his
• 44:20
  his game. Like literally.
• 44:22
  And I just thought that was really cool or so anyway, back
• 44:25
  to this 1521. They are accused of cannibalism,
• 44:29
  witchcraft, they're brought before their churches.
• 44:33
  Inquisitor General. It takes just one day for Pierre
• 44:37
  to make a convention, and he admits to crimes that the court
• 44:42
  couldn't really even imagine and then tells him about a time when
• 44:45
  he and Michelle had transformed. Apparently one night they saw
• 44:51
  this woman who was who was just minding her own business,
• 44:54
  gathering peas. She was sipping peas.
• 44:58
  Peas. Yeah.
• 45:00
  And they attacked her and tore her to pieces.
• 45:03
  A man had seek Jesus. He's as far as muses.
• 45:09
  Give peas a chance. We all want.
• 45:13
  Peace. But so that wasn't my Simpsons
• 45:18
  quote as well. That was the what was the guy's
• 45:20
  name but not a few words. Any question?
• 45:23
  Rex. Rex.
• 45:24
  Ban Rex. No is when Homer is Simpson.
• 45:27
  Tide was the name of the and he's like, he takes a shine to
• 45:31
  Homer and he's just like, what is it you want?
• 45:33
  And he's trying to like, he thinks he's like this really
• 45:35
  good soldier and he's reaching across the table and he's like,
• 45:38
  I want peace. And he's like we all.
• 45:40
  Want. Peace.
• 45:40
  Yeah, Yeah. Yes, yes.
• 45:46
  I think that is genuinely my like, it's easy cop.
• 45:50
  Three of my favorite episodes is Criminal.
• 45:53
  Is that Hank Scorpion here? No, it's.
• 45:57
  Been. Submarine.
• 45:59
  Oh, the submarine one. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, sorry,
• 46:03
  sorry. That is actually yeah.
• 46:04
  And that's in the layer like. Season. 9.
• 46:09
  Yeah, I was going to say like it's, it's, it's, it's out
• 46:12
  there. But one of the the the last of
• 46:14
  the good one, it's kind of going downhill.
• 46:17
  Yeah, because he's like what? I like, can't, I can't remember
• 46:21
  his name, but he's like, I'm a man of few words.
• 46:24
  Any questions? He's like, is the poop deck
• 46:26
  really? What do you think it is?
• 46:27
  He's like, come up that mountain.
• 46:31
  What is it that? What was?
• 46:34
  It's like, maybe it's the the salt air in my veins or the
• 46:38
  nitrogen bubbles in my brain, but I've taken a real shine to
• 46:42
  you. It's like you're like the son
• 46:45
  I've never had, and you're like the father I never visit.
• 46:49
  Anyways, let's get back to because I'm going to cycle into
• 46:52
  trying to remember that episode and.
• 46:54
  I know I need to know his name. Oh, yeah, Mr. MO said.
• 46:58
  Here she goes. You want to stop calling me Mr.
• 47:01
  MO? No.
• 47:03
  No. OK so this guy then jumped in to
• 47:11
  stop them killing the P woman. He got ripped apart too.
• 47:17
  Together they killed an 8 four year old girl and left behind
• 47:21
  only one arm, which I don't know why.
• 47:26
  So yeah, they're out there killing people.
• 47:27
  He told the Inquisitor that Michelle thought human flesh was
• 47:31
  delicious and one night they strangled a girl and drank her
• 47:35
  blood. Pierre even spoke about a time
• 47:37
  when they almost got hot. They'd captured A7 year old boy,
• 47:41
  but the boy had screamed so loud that they had to quickly get
• 47:45
  that salve ointment stuff on, become human again, get dressed,
• 47:50
  and then like run away without anyone seeing them.
• 47:53
  The Inquisitor asked Pierre to transform into a werewolf in
• 47:57
  front of them to prove that it was true.
• 47:59
  Pierre said that he had to be naked for the transformation to
• 48:02
  happen, and Michelle told the court everything that Pierre had
• 48:05
  said was true. Ultimately they admitted to
• 48:10
  diabolism, which is deal with the devil.
• 48:14
  Basically, it's devil worship, murder, and eating human flesh.
• 48:19
  And that's how Michel and Pierre became the first men ever
• 48:22
  recorded, executed for being. A werewolf.
• 48:28
  And this wasn't a one off story because in Germany there were
• 48:31
  hundreds and hundreds of cases where people were accused of
• 48:36
  being werewolves. And it wasn't just like it, it
• 48:39
  wasn't like a fair and balanced court system.
• 48:41
  Like just like with the witch trials, like if you were accused
• 48:45
  of being a werewolf, that was it.
• 48:46
  You were kind of fucking done for.
• 48:48
  Like they were just like, yeah, OK, fine.
• 48:53
  And yeah, basically like it. Just as we were saying, like,
• 48:56
  how do you know if you're a wisher, A werewolf?
• 48:58
  Well they fucking tortured you to find out so.
• 49:03
  Have you got the story of, I think this guy, another French
• 49:06
  guy, but he's called Jelay or Giles or have you got that?
• 49:13
  Have you got that story? I've got one the serial like the
• 49:17
  first ever serial killer that was like claimed to be.
• 49:20
  What was his name? This guy is a French guy who who
• 49:23
  moved out to the woods as well, or he moved out, kind of.
• 49:27
  Thing. Oh, this is him.
• 49:30
  Oh Stump German guy. Yes, yeah, yeah, I do have
• 49:35
  stump. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 49:37
  Which got ripped off. And then it was it Apparently a
• 49:41
  man had cut like a wolf's paw off and then the guy had lost
• 49:45
  his hand. Yeah.
• 49:46
  But anyway, go back to the thing that you were saying, the Irish
• 49:48
  story that's similar to Pierre. Let me hit let me hit the the
• 49:52
  French story as well. Another trigger Warner for this
• 49:54
  for for eating kids and stuff. We probably should have tried
• 49:57
  that one. But this Julie, lads, I forget
• 50:01
  his first name, but he married his wife and they moved out.
• 50:08
  Like he lives kind of out in the woods.
• 50:11
  And this is obviously like the 1500s as well.
• 50:14
  So, you know, take Tiff to eat. You had to kind of either grow
• 50:19
  or catch your food. And this guy was a hunter and he
• 50:22
  wasn't used to like getting enough food to sustain his wife
• 50:28
  as well. So like he was just he was just
• 50:31
  kind of knew how to sustain himself.
• 50:33
  So his wife started complaining, started that, you know, as women
• 50:37
  do start bitching about food and.
• 50:40
  Blah blah blah blah blah. Stop with this.
• 50:42
  Am I right? I'm starving, Oh my God.
• 50:46
  I'm literally actually starving though.
• 50:49
  Could you bring? Anything will help.
• 50:52
  Anything but catch your own fucking rabbits.
• 50:55
  But this guy, so he things weren't working out for him when
• 50:59
  and his his wife was kind of complaining.
• 51:03
  So he went out into the again into the woods.
• 51:06
  The story he told again is that I think I believe this is what
• 51:11
  it was and is that he did. I don't have any notes in front
• 51:14
  of me. So again, I'm anyone who tells
• 51:16
  me this is bullshit. Anyone who's coming in from
• 51:18
  1500s wants to fucking come, come for me.
• 51:24
  We're given the wrong information.
• 51:25
  Fake news from from, I want to say 500 years ago he went out
• 51:32
  and I think I believe he found. So he says he made a deal with
• 51:36
  the devil in the woods and he was transformed and he started
• 51:47
  killing. Animals first, so it was a lot.
• 51:49
  Of yeah, I think it was yeah, exactly it was yeah.
• 51:52
  So livestock first and then like what what would happen is like
• 51:55
  family would have kids out in the fucking middle of fucking
• 51:59
  nowhere to be like shepherds for these animals.
• 52:02
  So kids will be tending things like sheep and dogs and chickens
• 52:06
  and stuff like that. It would be a kids job is to
• 52:08
  look after this stuff. So like the what turns out the
• 52:13
  animals would have been easy picking any.
• 52:14
  So he was, he was just out there murdering people's livestock and
• 52:18
  bringing back me to his wife. And eventually he was killing
• 52:25
  the children that were looking after the livestock.
• 52:29
  And the I, from his own words, he was talking about how he
• 52:33
  would have like the first person he killed was a little girl, I
• 52:36
  believe. And he said he ate from her arms
• 52:39
  and her thighs and then brought back me to his wife.
• 52:42
  And he got a taste for it then. And now he was saying that he
• 52:48
  was transforming into a wolf and he was devouring these children
• 52:53
  as a wolf And but really he was kind of eh, Albert fishing it if
• 52:59
  if it wasn't wasn't that our friend Albert Fish was the guy
• 53:02
  who was he was talking about how?
• 53:06
  Big. I'll be tender.
• 53:07
  They were. Yes, exactly like the the
• 53:09
  children and stuff. So this is kind of a similar
• 53:11
  story where this guy kind of he seemed to be delighted at the
• 53:16
  fact that he was eating like children and, and how sweet he
• 53:22
  said that the, the meat was very sweet.
• 53:24
  So his whole thing was that he he ended up people started
• 53:31
  saying like there was like loads of kids and women were going
• 53:34
  missing. And guys ended up saying that
• 53:37
  they actually witnessed him like with carcasses of animals and
• 53:43
  people. And they obviously fucking got a
• 53:46
  lynch Bob out when they brought him in and they arrested him and
• 53:52
  say they again again, you'll probably have it in front of you
• 53:55
  there. What he got fucking what he got
• 53:58
  like accused of, but it was again making deals with the
• 54:01
  devil and beaten people. But a lot of it was basically so
• 54:08
  he had claimed he was a werewolf and while he was doing these
• 54:14
  things and it wasn't him as a person, it was actually just
• 54:18
  like werewolf Peter, Like it wasn't whatever.
• 54:22
  And I think. This isn't Stumpy now.
• 54:26
  This isn't This isn't our buddy Stump.
• 54:28
  This is a. This is the French guy yields.
• 54:30
  Pretty much the same story as Stump.
• 54:33
  Yes, yes. So Stump is a German guy and
• 54:35
  yeah, the story is very similar. But I do think that they might
• 54:39
  have, like so many stories, might crossover a little bit.
• 54:43
  Yeah, I think because I, I, I don't have notes on the other
• 54:46
  guy, but the notes that you're describing are pretty much
• 54:48
  identical to what I have for stuff.
• 54:51
  So he's this guy, this French guy anyways, he he ends up
• 54:54
  getting fucking tried and you got fucking locked up.
• 54:57
  But there was like there's all kinds of different, different
• 54:59
  stories about we'll get get into that because there's a good kind
• 55:02
  of conclusion to that stump guy now and it well, kind of a
• 55:06
  conspiracy. Yeah.
• 55:09
  I was just going to get into that.
• 55:10
  So he basically he so he was a fucked up guy like and he was
• 55:18
  raping his daughters. He had been basically raping his
• 55:22
  sister for like 25 years. He was having like this fucking
• 55:25
  well, it was claimed to be like a romantic relationship.
• 55:28
  For 25 years. And all of this stuff.
• 55:32
  And like he had claimed that it was, it was never him, it was
• 55:37
  the werewolf. He was possessed by the devil
• 55:40
  and things like that. And it was one of the kind of
• 55:43
  the earliest like serial killer cases that people at the time
• 55:49
  didn't kind of want to believe was just a fucking horrible,
• 55:53
  fucked up person. I think at that time especially,
• 55:57
  it was the human mind already wants to be like, wants to
• 56:01
  reject the fact that another human being can just be that
• 56:05
  way. Can't you know what I mean?
• 56:07
  Like that we are capable of that thing.
• 56:09
  That is a very kind of natural thing.
• 56:11
  And I think that's why so many people like not only bought into
• 56:15
  the fact that it was like a werewolf, but wanted it to be a
• 56:20
  werewolf. It's just to try and fucking
• 56:22
  prove that humanity cannot go that way.
• 56:26
  But he was just like kids all around.
• 56:29
  We're going missing women, especially like some men, like
• 56:33
  little boys. Like he did anything he could
• 56:35
  get to, to kill and to fucking cannibalize and like dispose of.
• 56:43
  And then like I think like all of his shit was just like, it
• 56:47
  was never me. It was this, it was this.
• 56:48
  And then like his whole thing at trial was like, no, I don't have
• 56:52
  any recollection. I don't know, like this piece
• 56:54
  takes over. It's not me.
• 56:56
  I don't, I don't know what's happening here.
• 56:59
  I have no recollection of what you're talking about.
• 57:01
  I've never met these people. I don't know this family from
• 57:03
  like fucking like 3 miles down the road.
• 57:06
  I've never seen them all of this kind of stuff.
• 57:08
  And it's like he genuinely was just like that wasn't me.
• 57:13
  That was like a fucking, that was werewolf having sex with my
• 57:15
  sister for 25 fucking years. Do you know what I mean?
• 57:18
  Like. It's.
• 57:20
  Wild that like he would kind of. There there is Hold, hold on Now
• 57:28
  this this is an interesting one right.
• 57:30
  So he ended up sorry, just I'll make sure I'm getting this right
• 57:35
  with you first. This is the guy who was.
• 57:39
  He ended up on the rack. Yes.
• 57:41
  So he was. Yeah, he was strapped to a
• 57:44
  cartwheel. So they arrested him and his
• 57:46
  sister and his daughter and put his daughter to death.
• 57:50
  Yeah, she was burned at the stage.
• 57:52
  Yeah, and he was pinned to a cartwheel and his skin was
• 57:57
  peeled off his body, which is is a fucked up way to go.
• 58:02
  So there. Now here's the conspiracy, a
• 58:06
  fucking 500 year old conspiracy. So he he was a wealthy
• 58:14
  Protestant landowner. Yeah.
• 58:18
  Everyone around is Catholic. I I have that in my notes as
• 58:23
  well, that there it was just propaganda against, against,
• 58:27
  Yeah, the problem. Yes.
• 58:29
  So the idea would have been that the Catholics were kind of
• 58:33
  having uprising at this stage and they were seeing these
• 58:39
  wealthy Protestants and exactly what you're saying there, that
• 58:43
  they just put a smear campaign out against this guy.
• 58:46
  They say all kinds of stuff. This guy is evil.
• 58:49
  He's after making a deal with the devil, which that's
• 58:52
  basically what Protestantism is anyways.
• 58:55
  And and that like come up with all this kind of stuff.
• 59:01
  Like he lives with his sister. So he's obviously fucking his
• 59:04
  sister. So we'll we'll do this thing.
• 59:06
  Whereas like he has this insexual relationship with his
• 59:09
  sister. He's he didn't make the fucking.
• 59:11
  Sister though. Yes, but again, Danny, what will
• 59:15
  you admit to under Tartar? You get me?
• 59:19
  Yeah, yeah. Like there's no Geneva
• 59:21
  Convention back here. I'm not even sure Geneva was was
• 59:24
  fucking around back then. So they I.
• 59:26
  Don't think. That was, eh, like, you know,
• 59:29
  it's, it's, it's kind of a if someone's like the his old he,
• 59:36
  they ultimately stripped him of his skin as his punishment.
• 59:41
  So what were they doing to him while they were torturing them
• 59:45
  like they did? It would have been unspeakable
• 59:48
  things, I imagine. So again, I'm not saying, yeah,
• 59:51
  I'm just pointing out there that here's here's the other side of
• 59:54
  the kind. This could have been like who?
• 59:58
  I'd rather and like Protestant or werewolf.
• 1:00:01
  To me, they're both as bad as one another.
• 1:00:02
  Like they're like a dollar rapist Protestant.
• 1:00:06
  Oh, you know, same thing. Like, yeah, I I'm not.
• 1:00:13
  It's so. Funny because you're setting up
• 1:00:15
  the next the next story really well.
• 1:00:21
  Well, let's get into it then, because I think that's Peter
• 1:00:24
  stumped on. I think we've we can say that
• 1:00:27
  do. You want to go back to the other
• 1:00:28
  one that you have it where else? The next one that I have that it
• 1:00:30
  it it would be a really natural and cool segue into vampires.
• 1:00:35
  But oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
• 1:00:38
  no, no. No, that's.
• 1:00:39
  What I mean, I want you to go back to what you have.
• 1:00:42
  Well, I don't have much. I just like kind of.
• 1:00:46
  I want to hear the Irish. Yeah, so OK, yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:51
  So like let's go into. So your first story of the guy
• 1:00:56
  that met the. Police.
• 1:00:59
  Yeah, so these these clocked figures in the woods or whatever
• 1:01:04
  mess up with this guy and then he his sheep are fine.
• 1:01:09
  OK, so let's get back to that. There's a story, OK, where this
• 1:01:16
  this guy is a kid found a wolf pup and the wolf pup was
• 1:01:24
  injured. This is like the the story of
• 1:01:28
  the dickhead in the Bible with the lion and the thorn in his in
• 1:01:32
  his foot and where he pulled the the the torn out of lanes for
• 1:01:36
  it's a similar one here. Yeah, whatever.
• 1:01:39
  I forget the dude's name and I. Don't know his name?
• 1:01:41
  Yeah. Was that Bible that.
• 1:01:44
  Was great. Yeah, to be honest with you,
• 1:01:48
  Danny, all the fucking stories come from the one book.
• 1:01:52
  They. Do so anyways the Irish version
• 1:01:59
  the wolf pup has a thorn in its side.
• 1:02:03
  It's it's a big ouchie and and the kid took pity on it and
• 1:02:07
  pulled the torn. I would decided a wolf and kind
• 1:02:11
  of nursed it for a few days and then released to put back into
• 1:02:14
  the wild. And that's that's our opening
• 1:02:18
  that's the prologue. Then if this was a movie it
• 1:02:22
  would say 35 years later down underneath and the guy you'd see
• 1:02:26
  him working in his field. Yeah so guys he's working in his
• 1:02:28
  field He's got he's got these two absolutely fucking beautiful
• 1:02:36
  cows now in Ireland. It's always cows because this
• 1:02:39
  was these this was they were worth more than gold.
• 1:02:42
  So when these stories, cows are always the kind of the the thing
• 1:02:48
  to show that you had stay as or this was the stuff that if you
• 1:02:51
  lost it, it would really. Jacks MA was so pissed because
• 1:02:56
  hers was traded for fucking beans.
• 1:02:58
  Not an Irish story, but yeah, I get you.
• 1:03:01
  And but we've got a, you know, the, the the cattle raid of
• 1:03:06
  Cooley. That's a big, that's one of our
• 1:03:08
  massive stories that with Grania or fucking Mali.
• 1:03:18
  Anyways, I'm not going to derail myself by thinking about fucking
• 1:03:20
  pirate Queens right now. I'm thinking about werewolves.
• 1:03:23
  So there. So this, this guy's cows, 2
• 1:03:30
  praise cows, the fucking best cows in the in the fucking land.
• 1:03:33
  They go miss him and he goes out looking for them, can't find
• 1:03:37
  them, wanders. He wanders into the woods
• 1:03:39
  thinking that the cows might have wandered into the woods and
• 1:03:42
  he comes across a bunch of men. The men are all looking kind of
• 1:03:47
  suspicious. Now I don't know if they had
• 1:03:50
  clocks, but let's just say they probably had some.
• 1:04:02
  Yeah. And they were all in there and
• 1:04:06
  they, they, they kind of surrounded the guy.
• 1:04:11
  And the guy asked, so have you seen my cows?
• 1:04:19
  And they all started laughing, like, hysterically.
• 1:04:24
  And he knows when they started laughing that they were actually
• 1:04:26
  covered in blood. And they started to transform in
• 1:04:32
  front of them into werewolves. And he fucking flips out.
• 1:04:38
  He's like, oh, shit, I'm dead. Like, I'm dying.
• 1:04:40
  This is obviously where my cows have gone.
• 1:04:42
  I'm dying. The men surround.
• 1:04:45
  Well, they, the wolves now surround him.
• 1:04:48
  Yeah. And just as he thinks he's about
• 1:04:50
  to meet his maker, the largest of the wolves that was kind of
• 1:04:56
  in the back comes bounding over and kind of snaps at the other
• 1:04:59
  wolves and. Twilight.
• 1:05:03
  I love this. Sexy.
• 1:05:05
  I like it. I know I'm very descriptive when
• 1:05:07
  it comes to these stories. The man.
• 1:05:09
  And then they come dripped off his ABS.
• 1:05:13
  I know they. Listening in the moonlight.
• 1:05:19
  The so the the man kind of had a look and kind of recognize this
• 1:05:27
  this large wolf. And the large wolf said, do you
• 1:05:32
  know me? And the man says, I think I do.
• 1:05:35
  And he says I was the Pope that you pulled the torn out of.
• 1:05:40
  And he's like, oh fuck a talking wolf.
• 1:05:42
  But he was like, oh shit, like a yeah, I do recognize you.
• 1:05:46
  And the man said, don't worry, you're going to be safe today.
• 1:05:53
  None of my friends will harm you at all.
• 1:05:55
  You're going to be safe. You've.
• 1:05:56
  Done me a kindness basically. In Yes, in fact, you're going to
• 1:06:01
  be safe forever. We will not harm you.
• 1:06:05
  And he said we didn't order your cows.
• 1:06:08
  We're sorry about that all, but all is good.
• 1:06:12
  Yeah. So the man ended up fucking
• 1:06:16
  spending the night with these wolves and didn't go into too
• 1:06:22
  much detail of the story I heard and but he will he walk up on a
• 1:06:26
  Bale of hay in his own field and he.
• 1:06:31
  Got him back. Well, he just walk up and was
• 1:06:34
  like, oh what a dream. Jesus.
• 1:06:39
  Then he he had a look around and he was like, Oh my cows are
• 1:06:42
  still gone. Shit, I shouldn't be, I should
• 1:06:45
  go and have a look. And then he looked down the end
• 1:06:47
  of his field and he saw tree cows, but they were younger
• 1:06:51
  cows. They weren't like his praise
• 1:06:54
  cows. So there was he had two praise
• 1:06:56
  cows went missing, big burly, massive cows.
• 1:07:00
  And he, he saw three cows down at the end of his field and he
• 1:07:07
  went down and said, oh shit, this must be one of my
• 1:07:09
  neighbors. I don't want to get in trouble
• 1:07:10
  for stealing fucking cows because that's a big deal.
• 1:07:13
  So he went down to shoot him out of the field.
• 1:07:15
  And as he was showing the cows out of the field, he noticed the
• 1:07:19
  big wolf was kind of walking on the outside, the big sexy wolf
• 1:07:27
  of the ABS. And he pulled the torn off.
• 1:07:29
  And then he he was there walking up and down outside the field.
• 1:07:35
  And as the cows went out there, they got spooked and he snapped
• 1:07:40
  at them and the cows went back into the field and the guy
• 1:07:45
  realized, oh, he's paying me back.
• 1:07:49
  He. Got him those cows, yeah.
• 1:07:51
  So he's paying me back for my cows.
• 1:07:53
  So then he got annoying look off of the werewolf and everything
• 1:07:57
  that the werewolf said was true. And the werewolf, I think, yeah,
• 1:08:04
  basically just a wink of the wolf.
• 1:08:05
  So basically the werewolf told him that he would be safe, he'd
• 1:08:11
  live a long life and that he would have a prosperous life as
• 1:08:15
  well. And these 3 cows ended up
• 1:08:17
  growing to be bigger than his other two cows and to be the
• 1:08:20
  finest cows on the land. They were fucking, you know,
• 1:08:23
  these magical fucking cows. And that is the the story.
• 1:08:28
  And in in it's funny because a lot of the Irish stories about
• 1:08:33
  werewolves are the whale on, I believe they're called.
• 1:08:39
  The Irish stories aren't like the ones that you hear from
• 1:08:43
  mainland Europe where they're all these savage beasts and, and
• 1:08:48
  stuff like that. It's they're kind of in most
• 1:08:53
  stories are seen as kind of guardians of the forest, like
• 1:08:58
  protectors of the land. Even.
• 1:09:01
  So it's funny because from ancient Celtic tales there was a
• 1:09:08
  clan from what is now killed Kenny.
• 1:09:15
  It would have been called Ossory at the time.
• 1:09:17
  And they were known to be like skin changers to be to be
• 1:09:22
  wolfman. And in battle they could change
• 1:09:26
  at will into the wolves. And there were these savage, you
• 1:09:31
  know, warriors that fought with animalistic kind of stuff.
• 1:09:36
  Again, because of Celtic history isn't actually like we didn't
• 1:09:41
  write down stuff. What we had on was our our way
• 1:09:46
  of writing. And it was very basic.
• 1:09:48
  And you couldn't like write a story about what you could just
• 1:09:50
  kind of write, you know, Danny was here on a stone and that'll
• 1:09:57
  stay there for thousands of years.
• 1:09:58
  But you couldn't exactly write a big story.
• 1:10:03
  So in Ireland, a lot of these tales are are carried down from
• 1:10:07
  generation to generation, word of mouth.
• 1:10:09
  So what they represent, I don't really know.
• 1:10:12
  But we hear these tales in from Irish folklore about the wolves.
• 1:10:17
  And it's not always about like evil, like evilness.
• 1:10:23
  It's the stories are there's, there's another story.
• 1:10:26
  Sorry, I, I, I'm, I'm actually just fucking bored.
• 1:10:29
  I'm getting into this. I'm getting into this now.
• 1:10:31
  There's a so we have a written tale from I think the 1200s and
• 1:10:41
  where a Welsh priest wrote of meeting 2 werewolves in Ireland.
• 1:10:51
  So when the scribes came over like the the the fucking
• 1:10:56
  Christians came over they started scribing down stories
• 1:10:59
  and stuff like that. But this priest actually said
• 1:11:01
  that it was from his first hand account and he was in Ireland
• 1:11:07
  and met 2 wolves. 1 wolf was sick and the other wolf tried to
• 1:11:19
  get the priest's attention and the priest was scared but also
• 1:11:24
  like was prepared to defend himself.
• 1:11:27
  I think this is what was what was happening here.
• 1:11:29
  So the priest was about to like defend with a fucking knife or
• 1:11:37
  whatever. And then the, the male wolf
• 1:11:41
  revealed himself and said, I want you to give the last rites
• 1:11:48
  to my wife because she's dying. And the priest was like, Oh
• 1:11:54
  shit, but that's a, that's an animal.
• 1:11:57
  And he was like, no, look, I can change.
• 1:12:00
  And he changed into a, a wolf changer to a man.
• 1:12:03
  Whatever way it worked that he convinced the priest to give
• 1:12:08
  the, the the wife the sacrament, the last rites.
• 1:12:14
  And he did that and whatever. And this story actually went so
• 1:12:18
  far that it got to the Pope. So he actually a story about
• 1:12:24
  Irish werewolves receiving the last rites got so far as I
• 1:12:29
  forget which fucking Pope it was now Benedict.
• 1:12:34
  Something. Probably Benedict was in my
• 1:12:36
  head, but I don't think it was him.
• 1:12:37
  I think it was one of the weird names that.
• 1:12:41
  It isn't weird. No, no, no, because I mean like
• 1:12:44
  1, you wouldn't hear as because like you'll hear a band or a
• 1:12:48
  Cumberbatch every now and again. But it was, you know, one of
• 1:12:51
  these one or mine or. Ignatius or something?
• 1:12:55
  Yeah. Yeah, but any anyways, so that
• 1:13:00
  story actually got to ended up getting to the Vatican like
• 1:13:05
  which is funny because like it's it is it's basically just
• 1:13:13
  bullshit, but like it's like it seems like a folklore story, but
• 1:13:19
  like. It.
• 1:13:21
  It was kind of, it was reported as news to the Vatican in like
• 1:13:29
  the 1200s or whatever, which is it's kind of fucked up like.
• 1:13:33
  And yeah, so we do have, we do have stuff like in Ireland we
• 1:13:38
  have a lot of, we have a lot of kind of shape shifting stories
• 1:13:44
  like for like we have the cell key and like, you know, stuff
• 1:13:48
  that can turn into a horse or a seal and stuff like that.
• 1:13:51
  Like, so it wouldn't be the 1,000,000 miles away that we
• 1:13:53
  would have and the likes of werewolves in Irish folklore.
• 1:13:58
  But it's funny that it doesn't seem to be the same as what you
• 1:14:03
  would kind of get from, you know, the the mainland because
• 1:14:08
  we we don't have lads running around eating kids bellies and
• 1:14:12
  eating kids through their ass. It's basically yeah, yeah.
• 1:14:17
  I. Think like a lot of a lot of the
• 1:14:21
  Irish kind of tales of these like I guess like creatures if
• 1:14:26
  they're all very like, but they're not bad guys.
• 1:14:29
  Like, they're good to you if you're good, they're just
• 1:14:31
  misunderstood, which is such an Irish thing to put on to them.
• 1:14:36
  Like Jenny means, like, oh, there's no savages here.
• 1:14:38
  There's just like, you know, just a misfortunate fellow who
• 1:14:41
  has a curse. And that's kind of a good point,
• 1:14:44
  I think. But I do, I do believe that we
• 1:14:47
  kind of keep our like our pig and our Drew Whitdick kind of
• 1:14:55
  our love or our kind of closeness to the the earth and
• 1:15:00
  the land. So when we see animals in
• 1:15:03
  Ireland, and I know it's ironic because we went on to fucking
• 1:15:06
  make wolves and bears extinct in Ireland, but like it's where
• 1:15:11
  these pagans kind of revered nature and animals and all of
• 1:15:18
  these kind of like everything was kind of a spirit of
• 1:15:24
  something, you know what I mean? Like a wolf was like a spirit of
• 1:15:27
  the forest. They were a protector of the
• 1:15:29
  forest and all these different animals had kind of different
• 1:15:34
  like we would have seen the crows as a symbol of death, but
• 1:15:39
  that wasn't necessarily like we didn't hate crows.
• 1:15:42
  The crows were part of the Morgan.
• 1:15:45
  So the Morgan being are and like, eh, Goddess of death, yes
• 1:15:50
  so. She.
• 1:15:51
  Yes. So she was able to transform
• 1:15:53
  into like a flock of crows. But Irish people weren't.
• 1:15:57
  They didn't, you know, they didn't look at crows as in as
• 1:16:00
  being evil or this kind of negative thing.
• 1:16:05
  It was just a fact that they were the wardens of death.
• 1:16:09
  They they were belonging to the Martigan and they were just the
• 1:16:14
  this signify death or they they represented death.
• 1:16:17
  And it's the same with this, with the the likes of the wolves
• 1:16:21
  being protectors of the forest and stuff like that.
• 1:16:23
  Like, so it's kind of that in, in Ireland, I, I don't think we
• 1:16:29
  kind of like, because we're an island nation and we had like
• 1:16:35
  our culture kind of before the Brits got here and raped us to
• 1:16:39
  raped us silly. And we kind of had our own way
• 1:16:44
  of doing things. Like the Celtic way of doing
• 1:16:46
  things kind of stayed while the rest of Europe changed like a
• 1:16:51
  dozen times between like Celts, Gauls, the Romans, the fucking,
• 1:16:57
  you know, like all these different influences kind of
• 1:16:59
  came true. And then when Christianity kind
• 1:17:02
  of wiped through, eh, Europe, everything that was seen as
• 1:17:06
  Pagan became evil. Whereas Ireland's Christianity
• 1:17:09
  came a little bit late and it was very hard for them to push
• 1:17:14
  them the ideas of Christianity on to Ireland as well without
• 1:17:19
  kind of in we, we, I think we spoke about this before on the
• 1:17:24
  the the podcast as well. Whereas like they didn't subject
• 1:17:28
  like they didn't come in and like brutalize us with
• 1:17:33
  Christianity because that didn't work with the Irish, because we,
• 1:17:37
  we were too kind of set in our own ways.
• 1:17:39
  So they integrated Christianity into our Irish folklore and kind
• 1:17:45
  of rewrote our history so that it's sounded more Christian.
• 1:17:50
  So then we would like our, our folklore doesn't change like it
• 1:17:55
  did over in, in, in Europe where they came in and said, oh, you
• 1:18:01
  like, you like pig and stuff. Well, all that stuff is evil
• 1:18:04
  now. And then they were like, OK,
• 1:18:06
  that's evil. Now in Ireland, it was a little
• 1:18:07
  bit tougher for them to convince us that all of our, eh, Pagan
• 1:18:11
  beliefs were evil. So they kind of just made it so
• 1:18:13
  that all those Pagan beliefs you have are actually Christian
• 1:18:16
  beliefs. And here's our spin on it.
• 1:18:18
  And I think that's how werewolves in Ireland are
• 1:18:23
  guardians. But over in, yeah.
• 1:18:25
  And you're they're bastards. And I think a huge part of that
• 1:18:30
  as well is like. We.
• 1:18:34
  Ireland lived in a lot less fear than these countries because it
• 1:18:40
  was so hard to integrate Christianity and things like
• 1:18:43
  that. Like to us like we didn't fear
• 1:18:45
  these things that are out there. We know that they're out there
• 1:18:50
  because they live here. They're part of the land.
• 1:18:52
  They're, you know what I mean? Like you just if you leave them
• 1:18:55
  alone, they leave you alone. You can coexist with these evil
• 1:18:58
  things. But.
• 1:19:00
  And especially in Europe, like Christianity and everything like
• 1:19:04
  that, like when it was basically just like destroying all of it,
• 1:19:08
  it was all just, there is only the white man and there is only
• 1:19:13
  a white man and there's only God.
• 1:19:15
  And they're the only things that are like natural human beings,
• 1:19:19
  natural only that, that that's it.
• 1:19:21
  That's just, that's all you had. There was no such thing as like
• 1:19:25
  they completely lost touch with the old gods.
• 1:19:27
  So like every, all of that, like, I mean, and that's a huge
• 1:19:29
  thing as well with like Demonometry and me.
• 1:19:32
  They were all considered gods at one point.
• 1:19:36
  And they all have a role. They all rule over something
• 1:19:38
  and. They all represented something
• 1:19:40
  as well. Yeah, and not necessarily like
• 1:19:43
  bad or anything like that. They all have like, their own
• 1:19:45
  roles. So if you go in there, like,
• 1:19:47
  like I've said before, like there's a demon for fucking
• 1:19:51
  everything. But if you look at like Hindu
• 1:19:53
  culture and things like this, there's a God for everything.
• 1:19:57
  You know. All of these kind of a multi
• 1:20:02
  theistic. Religions like a Greek, Roman,
• 1:20:08
  Norse, even our own pantheon as well they yeah, we we didn't
• 1:20:13
  exactly just worship a God we worship the God who had who who
• 1:20:17
  would have umm represented something but then when you come
• 1:20:22
  to your. Pantheon.
• 1:20:24
  Yes. You know what I mean?
• 1:20:26
  You kind of cater your beliefs to your life and what you need
• 1:20:30
  and what you want and like you know, what you want to do well
• 1:20:33
  and stuff like that. And like that's, I think more
• 1:20:36
  people now are starting to pick that.
• 1:20:38
  But like spiritual people and like, like witches, we'll say,
• 1:20:41
  are starting to kind of pick that back up more and more.
• 1:20:44
  Even without like the, the, the witchy kind of stuff, like even
• 1:20:47
  people just getting, as you were saying, they're like spiritual,
• 1:20:50
  like people kind of coming back into themselves and kind of
• 1:20:54
  practicing like a meditation and, and, and kind of just
• 1:21:00
  finding their own center. And, and then they kind of
• 1:21:03
  realize that that is nature. Like, you know, like, you know,
• 1:21:10
  they're kind of resetting. Yeah.
• 1:21:12
  When you, when you get spiritual, you reset yourself.
• 1:21:14
  And then when you reset yourself, you realize that you
• 1:21:17
  actually tuned into nature and not the world as we have it
• 1:21:20
  right fucking now. And then that's where I think
• 1:21:23
  that that's what we got. We had as pagans and is what we
• 1:21:29
  had, and I know pagans does like it goes across the board, but
• 1:21:33
  like all these different cultures, these that had like a
• 1:21:37
  multi multiple gods, They all were attuned to nature.
• 1:21:43
  And then Christianity comes where it's mono fucking theistic
• 1:21:47
  point of view and it has one sky daddy and he says I did
• 1:21:52
  everything and then you got. All this and fuck you and the
• 1:21:57
  reason I'm not giving like, and this is another thing as well.
• 1:22:00
  So it's like I always see people who were raised like Christian
• 1:22:04
  and stuff like that and then they're they kind of turn their
• 1:22:07
  spiritual, they get into like witchcraft, wicked things like
• 1:22:09
  that. And a really common thing is I
• 1:22:14
  spent all of my life praying without an answer.
• 1:22:19
  And then I'll pray to this one other, like I call it deity,
• 1:22:24
  God, demon, whatever you want to call it.
• 1:22:27
  And there's a very loud fucking answer.
• 1:22:30
  And it's like, we don't know. Like they're, they're could.
• 1:22:34
  So this Christian God, the overall fucking God, you don't
• 1:22:39
  know who you're trying to pray to.
• 1:22:41
  You're not doing anything to get anything.
• 1:22:44
  You're not meditating, you're not doing whatever.
• 1:22:46
  I mean, I guess prayer can be meditation, but you're just so
• 1:22:49
  general about it, like you think getting on your knees and
• 1:22:51
  blessing yourself, someone is going to hear you, but like, why
• 1:22:55
  would they answer? Because you're not being
• 1:22:56
  specific about it? Like no one's going to be like,
• 1:22:58
  well, I'm not answering that. That's like AI think
• 1:23:02
  Christianity is A to whom it may concern kind of deal.
• 1:23:07
  Yeah, yeah, I, I think I'm, I'm kind of on the same wavelength
• 1:23:10
  as you there. Like when you put all your
• 1:23:12
  energy into like your, your spiritual, your or your
• 1:23:18
  religious energy into, OK, here's this one guy who's taking
• 1:23:22
  care of everything. Now I understand that these guys
• 1:23:24
  who are Jesus matter, like Jesus is the Lord.
• 1:23:28
  And then they they kind of, they put a lot of energy into that,
• 1:23:31
  but they put a lot of trust into.
• 1:23:34
  Trust. Yeah, just just having faith and
• 1:23:39
  they're kind of not doing anything except like, you know,
• 1:23:46
  they're just praying and being like, oh, if I believe in this
• 1:23:48
  guy, he's. And then they did live very own
• 1:23:51
  Christian lives, a lot of these people and you know, and
• 1:23:54
  they'll. Have like a Bible verse in
• 1:23:56
  their, in their fucking Instagram bio and they're the
• 1:23:58
  worst person you've ever met in your life.
• 1:24:00
  And it's like, it's really funny to me because it's like you can
• 1:24:03
  kind of you can put like, so to pull it back to like call it,
• 1:24:06
  this isn't even right. I still to this day, I will ask
• 1:24:11
  Saint Anthony if I've lost something, right?
• 1:24:13
  And I will light a candle and I will ask Saint Anthony because
• 1:24:16
  that's what you do. That's what I was raised.
• 1:24:18
  I've always found it. But you're giving flame.
• 1:24:22
  Who this? Deity, they're like, I'm
• 1:24:25
  lighting the candle for you. Can you please fucking help me
• 1:24:28
  find this? Nine times out of 10, I get it
• 1:24:31
  back within the day, right? And that's something that you're
• 1:24:35
  not just being like, oh, I pray to the Lord Jesus that I found
• 1:24:37
  my house keys, that I lost my house keys when I was on that
• 1:24:40
  night out in that strip club. I pray the Lord he returns my
• 1:24:43
  keys. You're not going to get.
• 1:24:45
  Up do you mean, but tell me, tell me this.
• 1:24:48
  Why do you think it is that? Is it because you put energy
• 1:24:52
  into something like again I've? Like this this.
• 1:24:55
  Isn't I watch my ma do the whole Saint Anthony thing like for
• 1:24:59
  forever, like, and I get I get the idea of it, especially like
• 1:25:06
  it's if you've got like, you know, Padre Pio is is the guy
• 1:25:09
  who sits in your car to to protect you from from driving
• 1:25:12
  around and so like that. So there's like specific guys
• 1:25:15
  for specific deals. It's not just like, that's
• 1:25:18
  exactly. It like.
• 1:25:19
  You're not just a general thing, like, you know what I mean?
• 1:25:22
  You're like, oh, like I pray to God, I find my keys.
• 1:25:24
  What God? Where?
• 1:25:26
  Who? Who were you trying to reach?
• 1:25:29
  You know what I mean? Like what department are you
• 1:25:31
  fucking looking for? Whereas St.
• 1:25:33
  Anthony. Yeah, I think that the Irish,
• 1:25:37
  Irish Christianity because like the Catholicism of it all and
• 1:25:41
  even like the Italian version of it, the Catholicism and.
• 1:25:46
  He's using witchcraft a lot. He's he's worshipped a lot
• 1:25:50
  within witchcraft. He's got his own thing, like the
• 1:25:52
  Archangels, very huge in witchcraft.
• 1:25:54
  So Michael, Gabriel, Metatron, they're all like Megatron.
• 1:25:59
  Megatron. Megatron Messenger.
• 1:26:02
  Car he. Did come down here and save us
• 1:26:04
  all. They're all their own individual
• 1:26:08
  things, right? And I feel like you can't just
• 1:26:10
  be like, like, all right, say if I'm calling like fucking a bank,
• 1:26:14
  right, I've lost my card. I'm not going to call and be
• 1:26:18
  like, I just need to talk to the bank.
• 1:26:20
  What happened? Can I just talk to the bank,
• 1:26:22
  please? We have a Why do you?
• 1:26:25
  Where do you need to go? What happened?
• 1:26:27
  What happened? Do you need?
• 1:26:29
  Yeah, airbag. Who are in Dublin?
• 1:26:35
  It's a specific like you're not going to go if you're not going
• 1:26:37
  to be like, right, I really, really want like a burrito, so
• 1:26:42
  I'm going to go to fucking McDonald's.
• 1:26:44
  It's a you're not going to get. You mean, it's just like, you
• 1:26:48
  can't go to a general fucking like thing and be like, well,
• 1:26:54
  this burrito sucks. Like, yeah, because it's from
• 1:26:55
  fucking McDonald's. You got to go specifically to
• 1:26:57
  somewhere that you know that you're going to get what you
• 1:27:00
  want. You're going to have to ask for
• 1:27:02
  what you want. Like God is such a general
• 1:27:05
  fucking term when there are literal gods, Jeremy.
• 1:27:09
  And in my head, when you're praying to God for something,
• 1:27:11
  they're all up there looking at each other.
• 1:27:13
  Like, do you want to get that? Who does she want?
• 1:27:16
  Like, you know what I mean? In my head, that's what it is.
• 1:27:20
  And I'm like when I work with like, say, demons who used to be
• 1:27:24
  just very, very, very old gods. I work with Salas a lot.
• 1:27:28
  I know I. He's a.
• 1:27:30
  Bastard man. So I have like a little altar
• 1:27:34
  set up for. Him you would.
• 1:27:36
  Say a demon, right? I have a like a bastard set up
• 1:27:40
  for him. I have an altar set up for him,
• 1:27:42
  right? And it's like all of the herbs
• 1:27:43
  that he likes. I've got this little like, gold
• 1:27:47
  heart-shaped tray that I put his candle on right now.
• 1:27:52
  I refreshed that altar every like 2 weeks.
• 1:27:55
  Just change it. All the herbs, whatever.
• 1:27:57
  I took that tray off to fucking use in a different spell, right?
• 1:28:04
  I was moving everything around, took the tray off, meant to burn
• 1:28:07
  something, put his tray back on top.
• 1:28:10
  A fucking entire jar of rotten chili oil just lunged off the
• 1:28:17
  shelf at me and I was like, I'm put in the back.
• 1:28:20
  I'm sorry. Like things like that, that
• 1:28:23
  you're just like, well, I'm just a psycho, but like I will pull
• 1:28:25
  my. My.
• 1:28:26
  Brain, when you tell me stories like that, I automatically say
• 1:28:30
  this woman is is. It happens to me all.
• 1:28:33
  Mentally disabled. Happens to me like there be
• 1:28:37
  things that I just like. I am mundane over magic like
• 1:28:40
  like 9 times. Yeah, always.
• 1:28:42
  Say it is. You always say that, I think you
• 1:28:45
  say. So far back on the shelf that I
• 1:28:48
  was just like, that was thrown at me.
• 1:28:50
  Like, sorry, there's no way that would have happened.
• 1:28:53
  And it spilled all over me. I had the cork in the top just
• 1:28:57
  bang all up on my leg and I'm like, I'm fucking put in the
• 1:29:00
  back for you. So I had to go.
• 1:29:02
  I had to finish that spell, put it in the dishwasher, change it,
• 1:29:04
  cleanse it again, put it back on and give him a new candle.
• 1:29:07
  And now he's fine. And I bought him the red wine
• 1:29:09
  that he likes today to fucking change that out because I'm
• 1:29:14
  going to fucking get kicked to death in my sleep.
• 1:29:16
  But yeah, moving on. Well before you move on.
• 1:29:19
  I'm over a piss then. Dude, it's the.
• 1:29:23
  First time you've. Ever done?
• 1:29:24
  This I know, I know, I know, but I think it's because I'm
• 1:29:27
  horizontal. And don't take, Don't take me
• 1:29:28
  with you. Don't take me with you.
• 1:29:31
  What the fuck is right now? Right.
• 1:29:35
  So we got to get. I'd start the recording again.
• 1:29:39
  So the next part of Twilight, because we're talking about
• 1:29:44
  fucking worlds vampires. So people have a bunch of mixed
• 1:29:50
  feelings about vampires. I really, I personally love
• 1:29:54
  them. Some people hate them.
• 1:29:57
  I think they're really hot, but basically whatever.
• 1:30:00
  So what pops into your head when I say vampires?
• 1:30:04
  Like what famous vampire pops into your head?
• 1:30:08
  Well. Obviously Dracula.
• 1:30:12
  Do anything else that would like aside from Dracula, who is the
• 1:30:15
  BL and all I will get into that. We'll get into like Bram Stoker
• 1:30:17
  and stuff like that, but is there like a specific kind of
• 1:30:22
  vampire that pops into your head?
• 1:30:26
  Big teeth soaks, blood turns into a bass.
• 1:30:32
  That's kind of that's that's what I think of when I think of
• 1:30:35
  vampires. I mean, that's, that's pretty,
• 1:30:39
  pretty much it. So it actually said it's really
• 1:30:45
  fucking old. Like the idea of vampirism is
• 1:30:50
  back fucking centuries and centuries, thousands of years,
• 1:30:54
  we'll say. So basically not Tom Cruise in
• 1:31:00
  Interview with Vampire, even though that was kind of.
• 1:31:05
  So I learned about a book called The Black Vampire.
• 1:31:09
  It was written by an abolitionist named Uriah Derek
• 1:31:14
  Darcy, and it was all about an enslaved person who was murdered
• 1:31:17
  at a Haitian plantation. He's brought back to life
• 1:31:21
  somehow as a vampire and as soon as he's back, he's like
• 1:31:25
  basically out for revenge, ends up killing his old enslaver and
• 1:31:31
  then goes and frees other enslaved people on the island.
• 1:31:35
  This is so they could all start a revolution and and slavery.
• 1:31:40
  And it kind of like I went down a little rabbit hole a little
• 1:31:43
  bit then on like other kind of vampire stories to do with this.
• 1:31:48
  So surprise, surprise, the world's first vampire comes all
• 1:31:52
  the way from ancient Egypt. Her name was Sekhmet.
• 1:31:56
  I don't know if you've heard of her before.
• 1:32:00
  You live all of your, your, your old gods.
• 1:32:04
  So she was. She was a goddess of many
• 1:32:06
  things. War, chaos, plague, hearing, and
• 1:32:10
  even the desert sun itself. She's the Pestilence 1, isn't
• 1:32:14
  she? She's the fucking like, yeah,
• 1:32:16
  yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she was basically, she was,
• 1:32:22
  she was kind of running everything at the time and she
• 1:32:28
  wanted to drink as much blood as she could get her hands on.
• 1:32:32
  She was the daughter of the most important Egyptian God, RA RA.
• 1:32:39
  Who? He's the sun God, Yeah.
• 1:32:42
  Yes so RA was known as the father of creation.
• 1:32:45
  One time RA had set her to kill the humans who weren't loyal to
• 1:32:51
  him and she's just like yeah cool, no other.
• 1:32:54
  She ends up killing a bunch of humans, drinks their.
• 1:32:57
  Yeah, he had a he had a jackal's head.
• 1:33:00
  Yes, and then the. The He could wear a Jackal.
• 1:33:03
  What do you call that thing? The staff.
• 1:33:05
  Yeah. Yeah, so basically she ended up
• 1:33:10
  killing the humans that weren't loyal to him.
• 1:33:12
  But the problem was she couldn't stop.
• 1:33:14
  Like she just went fucking psycho drinking blood and and
• 1:33:19
  she started killing anyone insight just so she could drink
• 1:33:21
  blood. Couldn't even stop herself
• 1:33:23
  because she would just anywhere she went that she would see a
• 1:33:27
  human, they'd be drained. So Ross sees this and he's like
• 1:33:32
  fitness and her she's probably the wrong one to fucking do the
• 1:33:34
  job. She's going to kill all of the
• 1:33:37
  humans who? Do.
• 1:33:38
  Worship me. And that's exactly what she was
• 1:33:42
  doing. So not long after she was sent
• 1:33:44
  to go kill or whatever segment started murdering innocent
• 1:33:47
  people. So RA tries to kind of like, I
• 1:33:51
  guess like verbally reason with her, but she just still is just
• 1:33:54
  like, no, I'm fine, I'm going to drink all this blood and wear
• 1:33:56
  all these people. So Ron needs to come up with a
• 1:34:00
  plan. Basically, he takes like
• 1:34:04
  thousands and thousands of gallons of beer and dumps it
• 1:34:09
  into this river Egypt. Denial.
• 1:34:17
  I'm running denial. You're in denial and it dies the
• 1:34:23
  river Red and she basically the story goes she's she is
• 1:34:31
  convinced that this river is blood.
• 1:34:33
  So she just keeps. Jumps in and drinks.
• 1:34:36
  No, she drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks and then just
• 1:34:38
  like gets fucking wasted thinking that she's getting like
• 1:34:41
  absolutely hammered on this, like blood, but it's actually
• 1:34:45
  just beer. And then she basically, yeah,
• 1:34:52
  she she that kind of ends her reign of terror.
• 1:34:54
  She gets like hangover so fucking bad.
• 1:34:57
  I was just like, yeah, well, you're not doing this again, are
• 1:34:59
  you? But yeah, that's like, I think
• 1:35:03
  that's really cool. So like scholars kind of believe
• 1:35:04
  that the story of like the bloodthirst is like what leads
• 1:35:09
  to the yearly flooding in Egypt. And in a lot of the time because
• 1:35:14
  of like, it's something to do with like volcanic soil that the
• 1:35:18
  the river still does turn red. Normal people are like, Oh yeah,
• 1:35:23
  it's volcanic soil. The river is red this time of
• 1:35:25
  year. And then spiritual people are
• 1:35:27
  like, no, it's segment. So.
• 1:35:30
  That's. That is, that is the first kind
• 1:35:33
  of. Is that that's the fertile plane
• 1:35:36
  is a is in the night Well, where the Nile goes out into this big
• 1:35:44
  delta and that's where the war. I could be completely fucking
• 1:35:47
  wrong but that's where the war ends up turning.
• 1:35:51
  Like when it floods it goes into the the the the red sands turn
• 1:35:58
  it fucking. Yeah, that's it.
• 1:35:59
  It's the minerals and the sand that kind of like turn it red.
• 1:36:03
  That was actually, I don't know if you have seen you don't have
• 1:36:06
  TikTok, but there's this like a tick tocker that I watch.
• 1:36:10
  She only does tick tock for one month out of the year in
• 1:36:13
  October. And it's called spooky like
• 1:36:15
  months. I think I've mentioned it
• 1:36:16
  before. Yeah.
• 1:36:17
  You've mentioned her before. But she, she's done that, not
• 1:36:22
  this year. Last year she went into that and
• 1:36:24
  like the science behind it that turns it red and stuff like
• 1:36:27
  that. Apparently it's not toxic at all
• 1:36:29
  to like swimming and to drink and things.
• 1:36:32
  And I know that there's them. There's a fucking waterfall
• 1:36:37
  somewhere in the world. I forget where it is now this
• 1:36:39
  I'm pulling this out of back of my head.
• 1:36:41
  So again, anyone who wants to correct me on this even though
• 1:36:44
  we don't have any listeners and. It's.
• 1:36:47
  It's iron, iron oxide. So it's, it the water in this
• 1:36:53
  waterfall. I'm not, I'm not sure if this is
• 1:36:55
  the same in Egypt, but the water in this waterfall comes down and
• 1:36:58
  there's iron in the what? Like in the rock face that's
• 1:37:04
  coming down. And the iron oxide, which is
• 1:37:08
  basically rust, it comes down and it's it's the color of like
• 1:37:11
  that reddish brown of rust that that makes it look like the
• 1:37:17
  waterfall is bleeding, which is really cool.
• 1:37:21
  Yeah. And it's like, I think a lot of
• 1:37:22
  it's, there's parts of like Oregon that have very heavy
• 1:37:30
  cinnabar deposits in their rock. In the bar Cinnabar Island is is
• 1:37:37
  in. Pokémon.
• 1:37:38
  Yeah, I don't. Know.
• 1:37:40
  Cinnabar is a mineral. It's like you can use it as it
• 1:37:45
  like as an explosive and whatever is in it, but it's like
• 1:37:51
  this blood red color that grows like mostly kind of in like
• 1:37:55
  caves and things like that. It's like it makes the rock
• 1:37:57
  completely blood red and cool and like you can chip away at
• 1:38:02
  that and like use that. I'm going to look up to Cinnabar
• 1:38:05
  right after this. Do Yeah, because like I found
• 1:38:08
  that as well, like a lot like Cinnabar Island, isn't it?
• 1:38:12
  Is the city or island Cinnabar Island?
• 1:38:14
  Yeah. Like there's loads of shit like
• 1:38:17
  that that like they tie in and like even like it's really
• 1:38:19
  funny. Like Lavender Town is known to
• 1:38:22
  give like nightmares and have like Lavender gives you
• 1:38:26
  nightmares and makes you. Hallucinate and things like that
• 1:38:28
  on the ghosts are in the tower. Yeah, and like the sleepy thing,
• 1:38:32
  like it's really cool. But anyway, so I want to play
• 1:38:37
  Pokémon. Lavender Town was my favorite.
• 1:38:41
  The music from Lavender Town is so.
• 1:38:44
  Good. Like, it's so creepy.
• 1:38:47
  I love it. So basically, one of the
• 1:38:50
  craziest versions of a vampire comes from the Philippines.
• 1:38:55
  There's Filipino folklore. There's a monster called the
• 1:38:59
  Mannan. I know this, I know this.
• 1:39:03
  He's a fucking. He lives in a tree, the cunt.
• 1:39:06
  So yeah, the man and God is a vampire like creature during.
• 1:39:10
  Yeah, vampire like creature. During the day that takes the
• 1:39:15
  form of a beautiful woman, but at night she turns into her true
• 1:39:19
  form, a woman with giant bat wings and sharp claws.
• 1:39:23
  No, I don't. Know this 1 then.
• 1:39:26
  Oh, she detaches from her torso. Fucking hell, she has no legs.
• 1:39:32
  I got. No legs.
• 1:39:36
  But yeah, she flies around, no legs and her you've.
• 1:39:40
  Got no pigs? You got no legs, Lieutenant man.
• 1:39:46
  Ice cream. I got 2 some ice cream.
• 1:39:52
  I'm. Sorry, Lieutenant.
• 1:39:58
  Man, she tasted like cigarettes. That's that's, that's some good.
• 1:40:04
  You're pulling out the some on on understated lines from
• 1:40:10
  forest. Gump I I watched that movie far
• 1:40:13
  more than anyone should watch that movie.
• 1:40:15
  It's one of my favorites. Like it's such a fucking perfect
• 1:40:20
  film. And like, I remember I dated a
• 1:40:22
  guy before who would never seen it.
• 1:40:25
  I was like, how have you never fucking seen Forest Gump?
• 1:40:28
  And he cried the Hoy through it. And I was like, yeah, it's a
• 1:40:32
  fucking great movie. Those look like some comfortable
• 1:40:38
  shoes. I bet you can.
• 1:40:40
  Walk a lot of time in shoes like that.
• 1:40:43
  I always said you can tell a lot about a person from these shoes.
• 1:40:46
  Don't you? You're standing very sad.
• 1:40:49
  Do not. This is a fucking.
• 1:40:50
  That's a 2 1/2 hour film. Where were you shot?
• 1:40:59
  In the buttock, Sir. Basically, if you haven't, if
• 1:41:03
  you haven't seen Forrest Gump, what the fuck is wrong with you?
• 1:41:05
  And see it immediately it is. 1994 was a fucking absolute year
• 1:41:12
  for films. It was and it was such a fucking
• 1:41:15
  perfect film. It's a perfect.
• 1:41:18
  It's so good. And it's like, so basically like
• 1:41:22
  he's this retired that finds himself at the center.
• 1:41:26
  You do not have to explain Forrest Gump to anybody on the.
• 1:41:29
  Internet, I don't know, I had to explain to that guy that I was
• 1:41:32
  fucking shagging who'd never seen it.
• 1:41:35
  But anyway, he's this retarded who finds himself at the like
• 1:41:37
  center of all of these huge historical events and it's just
• 1:41:42
  fuck, it's incredible. And he's just there like
• 1:41:44
  unknowingly and like, it's, it's, it's amazing.
• 1:41:48
  It's so good. Fried shrimp.
• 1:41:50
  Oil shrimp. Who are you telling Thrill?
• 1:41:55
  Shrimp. I don't know, I'm just I'm stuck
• 1:41:57
  in a forest and quote loop now and I.
• 1:41:59
  Can't let's get into active vampires now because.
• 1:42:03
  So she Manning, Lieutenant Manning.
• 1:42:09
  I forgot that's why this was you.
• 1:42:16
  So basically she creeps into houses through the windows and
• 1:42:20
  she sticks out her long tongue and puts it into a victim's body
• 1:42:25
  through any hole that's. I.
• 1:42:29
  Hope I'm going to leave my window open tonight.
• 1:42:35
  So basically if you if you have a hole, she's going to put her
• 1:42:37
  tongue in it like me. So she she doesn't just drink
• 1:42:44
  blood, she's set to She feeds on her victim's intestines and her
• 1:42:51
  favorite snack is said to be pregnant women and children.
• 1:42:56
  Manning can be killed if you season her legs, literally if
• 1:43:02
  you like, put garlic on her legs that are detached from her body.
• 1:43:06
  If you find her legs and put garlic on those legs, she'll
• 1:43:09
  die. Which is.
• 1:43:11
  That's fucking hilarious. That's almost as fucking as as
• 1:43:16
  mad as the chicken leg house. Basically.
• 1:43:20
  You can do that, or then there's like Baba.
• 1:43:22
  Baba Yaga. Yeah, Baba Yaga, sorry.
• 1:43:26
  So you can do that or you can like if you can actually get a
• 1:43:29
  hold of her, you can do the whole steak through the heart
• 1:43:32
  beheading kind of thing, but whatever is easiest to do.
• 1:43:36
  Right. Vampires didn't really take off
• 1:43:49
  until the Middle Ages and there's lots of reasons for
• 1:43:53
  this, but the main reason was because of a disease called
• 1:43:58
  porphyria, extremely rare blood disease that affects your
• 1:44:03
  blood's ability to carry oxygen. The disease would cause issues
• 1:44:07
  like cramps and nausea, but it was also life threatening.
• 1:44:11
  Would this disease, your blood count probably give you oxygen
• 1:44:14
  so people would get these really painful skin conditions?
• 1:44:18
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this where like your blood
• 1:44:21
  clots up like folks or like it gets thick as like?
• 1:44:25
  Yeah, and you're just, your whole body hurts.
• 1:44:28
  And they basically with this, you can probably carry.
• 1:44:34
  Oh yeah. They'd just be in a ton of pain.
• 1:44:35
  So nowadays you would get something called like a blood
• 1:44:37
  transfusion. But you know, back then they
• 1:44:39
  didn't have that option. So people with Prophyria, they
• 1:44:43
  just did the best that they could to ease the pain.
• 1:44:46
  One of the most important things that they had to do was stay out
• 1:44:49
  of sunlight. This is because their skin was
• 1:44:53
  so sensitive it would burn if they got into sunlight.
• 1:44:56
  Like fucking pretty fast and really intense.
• 1:45:00
  It's believed to have been more common in the Middle Ages
• 1:45:02
  because of inbreeding. So you know what type of people
• 1:45:07
  tend to be inbred Royals. They're bringing it back.
• 1:45:11
  To the Royals. The blue bloods, so basically
• 1:45:15
  Ross, they, they don't want like any, any rando coming in to
• 1:45:20
  inherit their millions. So they're they're just like,
• 1:45:23
  oh, we'll keep it in the family. We'll all just shine.
• 1:45:25
  That's what we call blue bloods. Yeah, because, Because they're
• 1:45:29
  fucking stupid blood. You can see the veins and it's
• 1:45:32
  all blue. Probably.
• 1:45:35
  Blue blood, it's pure blood, isn't it?
• 1:45:37
  Yeah. It's just the same blood just
• 1:45:39
  mixes again and again. You don't.
• 1:45:42
  You don't tend. To like, well, if you're saying
• 1:45:44
  like they have this disease where your fucking skin is area
• 1:45:48
  irritated and they have to stay out, so they're all probably
• 1:45:52
  fucking translucent and you can see their Big Blue veins in
• 1:45:56
  their fucking in their skin. Maybe that's why they're called
• 1:45:58
  blue blooded. Did you?
• 1:46:00
  You watched 30 Rock, right? Yes, thank you boy.
• 1:46:06
  It's been a long time. Do you remember the episode with
• 1:46:10
  the European Prince and he had like everything wrong with him
• 1:46:14
  and Jenna was trying to shag him?
• 1:46:16
  Yeah. And basically, yeah, he was in a
• 1:46:20
  wheelchair. He was after fucking so long of
• 1:46:22
  inbreeding. And he was like, what, 20?
• 1:46:25
  And he looked like the guy who played him was into his 40s.
• 1:46:28
  It was like, that's kind of how it was.
• 1:46:31
  That's like how inbred they were.
• 1:46:34
  And I mean, I think maybe times have changed now, but they're
• 1:46:37
  still like distant cousins. So I mean, it's still, you're
• 1:46:42
  still of the same descent, but I think they don't like you.
• 1:46:49
  Do it too close now, otherwise you'll end up in an asylum,
• 1:46:52
  which we seem to bring up every fucking episode.
• 1:46:56
  You seem to bring up every episode you love an asylum.
• 1:46:59
  I do love an asylum. But anyway.
• 1:47:01
  So let's get back to the most famous vampire of all time,
• 1:47:09
  basically Vlad the Impaler. This fucking guy.
• 1:47:15
  I love this. Guy.
• 1:47:17
  This guy. Psycho, absolute fucking crazy
• 1:47:23
  person. Like he was In Sync.
• 1:47:25
  Right, he was sick. So anyway, his his official
• 1:47:28
  title was Vlad the Third or Vlad Dracul, which means Dragon in
• 1:47:36
  Romania, and he inherited this name from his father who had
• 1:47:41
  joined a military group called the Order of the Dragon when he
• 1:47:44
  was just a kid. Vlad's father was murdered near
• 1:47:47
  their home by their enemies and that same night his oldest
• 1:47:50
  brother was tortured, blinded and braided alive.
• 1:47:54
  Vlad like made it out safe, but understandably, the whole
• 1:47:58
  situation just kind of completely fucking changed who
• 1:48:00
  he was as a person. He stopped going by just Vlad
• 1:48:04
  and started going as Dracula, which you know, so he was an
• 1:48:12
  absolute violent, bloodthirsty leader, psychotic.
• 1:48:16
  Like we can do a whole that fucking episode on this dude.
• 1:48:18
  He was he was mental, but in his life he was said to have killed
• 1:48:22
  over 80,000 people and over 20,000 of those people were
• 1:48:30
  killed by impaling them. So not not just what you think
• 1:48:35
  it would be. I was just like impaling
• 1:48:38
  someone, like stabbing someone with a really sharp spike.
• 1:48:40
  He would sit them. Down on top of the spike, like a
• 1:48:45
  little bit blunt at the top because it caused more pain and
• 1:48:49
  just let them slide down this spike.
• 1:48:55
  Yeah. And that that was his method.
• 1:48:57
  That was what he kind of liked doing the best.
• 1:49:01
  But, you know, teach their own. Whatever.
• 1:49:03
  You know I've been to his castle.
• 1:49:06
  Tell me about that. So is this the one that is
• 1:49:08
  supposed to be? They call it like.
• 1:49:11
  Why? Because I'll tell you the story.
• 1:49:16
  So I'm on a I'm on a wrestling trip, we're touring around
• 1:49:21
  Europe and we have eh, Bucharest, you.
• 1:49:26
  Wrestle that Dracula's castle. That would be amazing.
• 1:49:28
  No, I could not. And so we're in, we're in
• 1:49:32
  Bucharest and we have a day off the next, the next day after we
• 1:49:39
  arrived there and our we were, we're all but yeah, by the way,
• 1:49:45
  in Romania are fucking crazy. So we were in them.
• 1:49:49
  We're in this hotel that was run by the mafia and the whole place
• 1:49:53
  was run by the Romanian mafia. And myself and one of the other
• 1:49:58
  guys went to there. So we're in like this five star
• 1:50:02
  hotel and there's a casino which the casino was closed, which we
• 1:50:06
  were arranging about, but there was also a strip club in the, in
• 1:50:13
  the, the hotel itself as well. And.
• 1:50:16
  Romanian strip club you gotta love.
• 1:50:19
  It So in the Romanian strip club run by the Mafia went in, you
• 1:50:23
  know, having a few drinks, a couple of dancers were had and I
• 1:50:30
  went up to pay and my friend, let's call him Brian, we
• 1:50:42
  remained there. So yeah, I'd say, yeah, he's
• 1:50:48
  well known. And so, so we, I went, I went to
• 1:50:53
  the bar and I says, I says, so I says to the barmaid, I says, I
• 1:51:02
  want to settle this bill. And this, this one actually
• 1:51:07
  this, this one stripper comes up and says, do you want to go to
• 1:51:11
  get some champagne? And I didn't know that this was
• 1:51:16
  called for. You buy the champagne.
• 1:51:18
  So she was like, you buy the champagne.
• 1:51:20
  I stay with you all night. Now, I at the time was was very
• 1:51:25
  much so in a relationship. So I was like a twig with me
• 1:51:32
  that when she said I'll stay with you all night, I was like,
• 1:51:35
  oh, you're a prostitute. Sorry, sex worker.
• 1:51:39
  You're a a she was a who She was a.
• 1:51:42
  Who? So I was like, no, that's good,
• 1:51:47
  I'll just settle the bill now. And as I was settling the bill,
• 1:51:51
  your one comes out and says like, because everything in, in
• 1:51:55
  Romania was so cheap and everything was like live.
• 1:51:58
  So it was like a fucking like an eighth of the price of
• 1:52:02
  everything you're getting early, you get a coke and it was like
• 1:52:05
  probably fucking $0.20, you know?
• 1:52:07
  So yeah, I went up, but I was like obviously this is going to
• 1:52:10
  be nice and cheap. And it was like the equivalent
• 1:52:14
  of like €250. I was like, oh shit.
• 1:52:17
  Like basically we, I got like 2 drinks and was like watching
• 1:52:22
  women dance. There was, I didn't even get
• 1:52:23
  like a lap dance or anything like and.
• 1:52:27
  Were you drinking alcohol at the time?
• 1:52:28
  Where were you? You were sober.
• 1:52:30
  No, I was drinking alcohol at the time, so no.
• 1:52:35
  I was just asking because. You say that was probably more
• 1:52:41
  than two drinks, EH2 drinks and then whatever these ones are
• 1:52:44
  dancing around us and stuff. And it was like, oh boy, the
• 1:52:46
  girls a drink. OK, I'll buy the girls a drink.
• 1:52:48
  You know what is shit like? And then yeah, I was, I was like
• 1:52:51
  £250. I was like, I do not have that
• 1:52:52
  on me. This is before you fucking tap
• 1:52:54
  as well. And in Romania you probably
• 1:52:56
  won't be able to tap. So I was like, I don't have that
• 1:52:57
  on me. Is there a cash machine?
• 1:52:59
  They were like, yes, there's a cash machine in the hall.
• 1:53:00
  Of course there is. And I walked down the hall and
• 1:53:03
  the barmaid followed me and a guy who was as wide as he was
• 1:53:10
  tall followed me as well as very squat bald man.
• 1:53:14
  And I was like, oh, I'm going to die.
• 1:53:16
  If there's if there's no money in my account, I'm fucked.
• 1:53:18
  I'm going to die. So I went in and I took out, I
• 1:53:23
  think it was like 1500 live. And as I pulled it out of
• 1:53:26
  machine, you're one just pulled it out of my hand.
• 1:53:29
  I was like, OK. And as I walked back to the
• 1:53:32
  strip club to like warn my friend to get out because like I
• 1:53:34
  was after paying like selling the bill for every for the two
• 1:53:37
  of us. So as I was coming back in, I
• 1:53:39
  was like. Sorry to cut you off again, that
• 1:53:41
  15111 is that, was that the equivalent of €250 or was that?
• 1:53:46
  Yeah, like 2. Or like, yeah, like 200, more
• 1:53:48
  like 250, you know, So. And she was saying that like, if
• 1:53:52
  I wanted to buy a bottle of champagne, it was going to be
• 1:53:53
  another 1500 left. And I was like, I'm not paying
• 1:53:55
  £250 fucking to to spend a night telling this woman how much I
• 1:54:02
  love my girlfriend because that's, I'm a sensitive soul.
• 1:54:05
  That's that's exactly what would have happened.
• 1:54:07
  But I walk. I'm not even supposed to be here
• 1:54:10
  today. Exactly, I would have walked in
• 1:54:17
  or no. I did walk back in to warn my
• 1:54:20
  friend not to buy any more drinks and his name is Brian and
• 1:54:25
  as I walk in boyfriend whose name is Brian is licking salt
• 1:54:32
  off of a strippers nipple and down a fucking tequila.
• 1:54:38
  I'm like. Brian.
• 1:54:41
  That lick of salt is going to cost you a fucking mortgage.
• 1:54:44
  So this is fucking. I was like this is actually
• 1:54:51
  extortion. When I say extortion it was
• 1:54:53
  literally extortion from the mafia.
• 1:54:55
  So it is we retired eh got a few cans or whatever and I just got
• 1:55:01
  back in the fucking drank ourselves silly in the fucking
• 1:55:04
  room. Woke up the next morning
• 1:55:06
  hungover being told now we're heading to Transylvania tour man
• 1:55:12
  and lovely woman said we are going to Transylvania.
• 1:55:14
  I was like absolutely dying so hungover.
• 1:55:19
  And it was such a sunny day out as well.
• 1:55:22
  I remember that. Like it was fucking horrendous.
• 1:55:25
  So was it hot? We are, we are.
• 1:55:33
  Had one today, you think? I always imagine that part of
• 1:55:39
  the like that part of Europe to be always constantly overcast
• 1:55:44
  and always constantly a little bit chilly.
• 1:55:46
  I never think of Romania in the sun.
• 1:55:48
  Do you mean like because? It's so far inland, the same the
• 1:55:53
  rest of these, because it's so far inland.
• 1:55:55
  In the summer, fucking super hot, in the winter, super cold.
• 1:55:59
  So like, yeah, they're not like us.
• 1:56:01
  We have a temperate climate. They've got like the two
• 1:56:03
  extremes, like but anyways, Oh, OK, eh, because there's so much
• 1:56:08
  fucking faffing about and we're all fucking hungover.
• 1:56:11
  We ended up leaving like late was Transylvania and it's a
• 1:56:15
  fucking like 7 like no, it's ours.
• 1:56:20
  Anyways, it's whatever, whatever it's it's fucking ours and we're
• 1:56:24
  driving with this lunatic driver.
• 1:56:26
  You know what he's like you fucking the third world country
• 1:56:29
  fucking rollers and these guys and fucking mini vans and it's.
• 1:56:34
  Yeah. And yes, and the sun is baking
• 1:56:39
  in the window. I remember just being like, I
• 1:56:42
  need water. And it was out pissing about for
• 1:56:48
  a little bit. We were walking around.
• 1:56:49
  We were like, there's not an in Transylvania.
• 1:56:51
  There's actually 0 things in Transylvania except for Vlad's
• 1:56:56
  castle. And so we said, right, let's
• 1:56:59
  head up to, to to Vlad's castle. Walked up, sign on, it closed.
• 1:57:05
  What the fuck? It was closed 30 minutes, so
• 1:57:12
  they locked it. It was locked up this big.
• 1:57:14
  So I got to see Vlad the Impaler's Castle from the gates
• 1:57:18
  and then we went back up and the only things in Transylvania are
• 1:57:22
  this pub that we didn't go into, this stall that they sold
• 1:57:27
  T-shirts and. Salted.
• 1:57:30
  Meats. And swords.
• 1:57:33
  And the other thing is a fucking German shepherd who was a
• 1:57:40
  lovely, lovely, beautiful soul. And I robbed him while hungover.
• 1:57:47
  And I was like, you are now my new Romanian friend.
• 1:57:51
  We bought Cowboy. Hats.
• 1:57:54
  We bought some cowboy hats. Somebody might have bought a
• 1:57:57
  Doctor Acula T-shirt and an our tour manager bought a four foot
• 1:58:02
  Sword which she was going to ship back to Ireland in the
• 1:58:06
  wrestling ring box. And we spent maybe an hour
• 1:58:14
  walking around Transylvania, which again, there is nothing
• 1:58:18
  there. And we got into the car and
• 1:58:22
  drove hours, hours back home. We lost a whole day and didn't
• 1:58:27
  even get to see fucking Dracula's castle.
• 1:58:30
  It's a cool it's a very long story with a with a strip club
• 1:58:34
  involved for music to say. I seen I've seen Vladium Bay,
• 1:58:40
  there's castle and never went in.
• 1:58:43
  Is it? Is it cool from the outside
• 1:58:44
  though? It was pretty cool from the
• 1:58:46
  outside, apparently. OK, hold that thought.
• 1:58:48
  I have to pee. So if you want to scat for the
• 1:58:50
  people, I'm going to go pee. It sounds like you're going to
• 1:58:53
  go scat for the people. Skip it about a bomb.
• 1:58:58
  So yeah, so that was that was me in Romania strip club almost got
• 1:59:07
  killed by the Romanian mafia for not paying a tab in a strip club
• 1:59:15
  then going to Vlad the Impaler's house.
• 1:59:20
  I did see that prostitute like two days later and she was
• 1:59:25
  sneaking out with someone's room and she looked rough.
• 1:59:28
  That I definitely got the champagne, but I did not get the
• 1:59:34
  champagne. Never, never have dabbled in the
• 1:59:37
  Brian in the Brian's room. Champagne, no.
• 1:59:43
  Brian is. Me and Brian Me and me and Brian
• 1:59:46
  were in the same room and. Can I have a hint to Brian is?
• 1:59:51
  No, fuck off. Well, it's not even that big of
• 1:59:54
  a deal because he didn't do anything like he was everything
• 1:59:56
  was everything was corpus mantis, but.
• 1:59:59
  I know, but I kind of, I just want to know who Brian is,
• 2:00:02
  Right. Anyway, so go back to this to to
• 2:00:06
  what we were talking about. Yes.
• 2:00:08
  So the hole he would put them, we asked first onto this bike
• 2:00:14
  and they would slowly slide down the spike and it would come up
• 2:00:18
  the other hole. Yeah.
• 2:00:20
  And it wasn't. It wasn't really fun.
• 2:00:23
  Often then he would he loved taking people's heads and
• 2:00:29
  displaying them on spikes outside of his castle.
• 2:00:32
  So I don't know if it when you were there, did you?
• 2:00:34
  Were the spikes still there when you went?
• 2:00:36
  Off the heads, but I didn't see, I didn't see anything like that.
• 2:00:41
  I saw like an episode of Ghost Adventures and they did it.
• 2:00:43
  They did like a tour of the castle overnight and apparently
• 2:00:47
  they had to have like guides with them because obviously like
• 2:00:50
  this structure inside is so. Old.
• 2:00:53
  That the remains like you will break your neck, you'll just
• 2:00:56
  fucking trip on something and break your neck because of all
• 2:00:59
  the stone work like and stuff. Anyway, so where am I going with
• 2:01:06
  this? Yeah.
• 2:01:10
  Public. But apparently he loved to tie
• 2:01:12
  people up and roast them alive or yeah, basically just trap
• 2:01:17
  them in their homes and just set the buildings on fire.
• 2:01:21
  He would also, he had this weird thing, so he used to capture
• 2:01:24
  enemy prisoners, right? He would hot, like slice into
• 2:01:29
  the bottoms of their feet. It's like the the soles of their
• 2:01:33
  feet. And then he would douse the
• 2:01:38
  wounds in salt and have his pet goats lick the feet.
• 2:01:43
  Which he was a fuck guy. He was a fuck guy.
• 2:01:47
  I really, and I, I don't understand like why that would
• 2:01:50
  be. I mean, I guess it would be
• 2:01:52
  pretty fucking uncomfortable and horrible to endure, but I'm also
• 2:01:55
  just like, it just seems like a weird, a weird little torture
• 2:01:59
  thing to do so. You wouldn't have to.
• 2:02:01
  You would have to slice my feet open like just the goats tickle
• 2:02:07
  in my feet was that would be. I can't.
• 2:02:09
  The only tickle is bad on my body.
• 2:02:11
  Oh, I'm like a mule. Anyone goes near my feet.
• 2:02:13
  Yeah. I don't like people touching me
• 2:02:15
  like I I have a thing about my ankles.
• 2:02:19
  So you know that scene in Hostile where they caught the
• 2:02:22
  dudes Achilles? No, I didn't watch Hostile.
• 2:02:25
  I'm not a fucking generous. I shifted.
• 2:02:29
  I guess. I guess.
• 2:02:33
  But yeah, he, yes, there's a scene like basically they he's
• 2:02:36
  tied up in the chair and they kind of like lull him into a
• 2:02:41
  false sense of security. He's under complete anesthetic,
• 2:02:45
  so we can't feel anything. They've sliced his Achilles, the
• 2:02:50
  back of his ankle. And then he's so stoked he
• 2:02:53
  manages to get free and he stands up and then just he falls
• 2:02:56
  and you just see the rift between the Achilles.
• 2:03:00
  Are you Am I freaking you out or you were?
• 2:03:01
  Just yeah, that, that just like, yeah, no, it's, it's squeezed.
• 2:03:05
  It's squeezed me. Sorry, I'm sorry.
• 2:03:08
  Achilles. I don't have.
• 2:03:10
  To deal with it, yeah. No, no, I I don't like the
• 2:03:14
  Achilles dealers. Like it's, it's like I don't
• 2:03:15
  like any like bones jutting out like scare me as well.
• 2:03:20
  So if I can do it, it's it's it's the the Achilles.
• 2:03:23
  Just for some reason I once saw them with the the corpse of a
• 2:03:30
  horse and they sold into the Achilles tendon to show you how
• 2:03:35
  strong it is and it's snapped like a fuck.
• 2:03:39
  It was crazy how tight it was. It freaks me out and thinking
• 2:03:44
  about people's Achilles. But it's let's get back to this
• 2:03:47
  because we are running long. So we're going to, we're just
• 2:03:54
  going to skip zombies on this. This is just going to be our
• 2:03:57
  Twilight episode. So basically, so he had torture
• 2:04:05
  rooms then. And when he was bored, he would
• 2:04:08
  just do a bunch of like fucking weird, weird shit.
• 2:04:13
  You have this thing called. It was like a giant.
• 2:04:16
  It was a pyramid, but it was a spear.
• 2:04:20
  And he would just, again, the spearhead, he would lower them
• 2:04:24
  on top of it, inch by inch over the spear until it slowly
• 2:04:28
  impaled him to death. Like, he loved impaling this
• 2:04:31
  guy. That's where he got his name.
• 2:04:33
  And again, they're also in the castle that you missed out on.
• 2:04:37
  You could have seen these pyramids if it hadn't been open.
• 2:04:41
  Thanks. And yeah, so.
• 2:04:46
  But he was like bloodthirsty, brutal and his life story
• 2:04:53
  inspires one writer and that was IRA, confirmed Ram Stoker.
• 2:05:00
  So born in Ireland in 1847, never went to Transylvania,
• 2:05:08
  never met a vampire that we know of, but spent seven years
• 2:05:11
  researching and writing a book called Dracula.
• 2:05:15
  Yeah, I'm sure you're putting all these pieces together
• 2:05:17
  yourselves. But Dracula was published in
• 2:05:21
  1897 and thanks to him, we have the playbook for the modern
• 2:05:26
  vampire. Today.
• 2:05:28
  Dracula is set in Transylvania and England and Transylvania,
• 2:05:32
  modern day Romania. But this, this is a thing that
• 2:05:34
  like, people are trying to say now that Dracula, that Bram
• 2:05:38
  Stoker was anti-Semitic, basically.
• 2:05:42
  Like his hatred for the Jews is really prevalent in this book
• 2:05:48
  because obviously all these, like, Eastern European villages
• 2:05:52
  were heavily populated by Jewish people at the time.
• 2:05:56
  Dracula was evil and horrible and a monster.
• 2:05:59
  And he was, I mean, assumed to be Jewish would do a lot of his
• 2:06:03
  wailings and dealings with the Jewish.
• 2:06:06
  Yeah. Romanian Jews.
• 2:06:08
  Apparently so. Modern day Romania.
• 2:06:12
  So anyway the. Story follows a vampire named
• 2:06:14
  Dracula. He's all the vampire, all the
• 2:06:18
  classic vampire traits. Sleeps in coffins during the
• 2:06:20
  day, could turn into a bat and also into mist, Sucks blood
• 2:06:25
  through a person's neck. Doesn't like garlic and also not
• 2:06:28
  fond of crucifixes, but could be killed with a steak medium rare.
• 2:06:36
  It's myself out there. Steak could be killed by a steak
• 2:06:40
  medium rare. Jesus Christ what the hell.
• 2:06:46
  Sorry, I was just looking up to see if there was Romanian Jews
• 2:06:49
  and apparently yes. Yeah, a lot of them.
• 2:06:52
  So yeah, basically when it came out, everyone was like, this is
• 2:06:57
  fucking disgusting and everybody loved it.
• 2:07:00
  So some people were getting like turned on, like sucking blood
• 2:07:03
  from like someone's neck. That was kind of the 1st.
• 2:07:06
  Nice. Yeah, first kind of like case of
• 2:07:09
  people being like, oh, that person kind of sexy and
• 2:07:13
  everything you want from a good fucking Horror Story, really.
• 2:07:16
  And it came out not long after the tuberculosis pandemic, which
• 2:07:23
  is a blood disease, which was like basically smashing through
• 2:07:26
  England and Ireland at the time. But because the science didn't
• 2:07:30
  exist yet, people naturally believe that TB was a sign of
• 2:07:34
  something evil and haunting. Like, oh, senior blood.
• 2:07:39
  Why not? Obviously.
• 2:07:40
  So the. That's exactly what.
• 2:07:44
  So, you know, you're 1. What's your name?
• 2:07:48
  Is it Mary Winchester who had that haunted hair like when she
• 2:07:51
  just built her house manically saying that ghosts and spirits
• 2:07:55
  were talking to her? So like apparently every her.
• 2:07:58
  So her family founded the well, I think it was like one of her,
• 2:08:03
  her dad or her granddad created the Winchester rifle.
• 2:08:08
  And in her head, everybody who was killed with a Winchester
• 2:08:13
  rifle was coming to her and she had to build rooms.
• 2:08:18
  A lot of people. Yeah, in her house based on what
• 2:08:21
  these people wanted. And that's why her house was
• 2:08:24
  like fucking mental. Like you can see it's still up
• 2:08:26
  for like you can still go tour it and stuff.
• 2:08:29
  But apparently she just had really fucking bad ADHD and just
• 2:08:32
  could not decide on how she wanted her place to look and
• 2:08:35
  just all of these rooms to be unfinished or there'd be like
• 2:08:38
  really weird shape. And like, I mean, houses back in
• 2:08:41
  those days, in the Victorian times anyway, they all had their
• 2:08:44
  little weird nooks and crannies and they were just built really
• 2:08:49
  fucking weird. And yeah, she would just have
• 2:08:52
  different rooms and she kept adding wings to the house with
• 2:08:55
  like completely different styles of architecture and unlike,
• 2:08:59
  unlike decoration and stuff. And she did this for years and
• 2:09:03
  years and. Hold on, what what's How do we
• 2:09:06
  get on to this chick? I'm going from the ghosts in her
• 2:09:09
  blood because she actually. Died of TB that was.
• 2:09:16
  I know, but like. Interesting.
• 2:09:18
  Interesting though she she was a weird old by the sounds.
• 2:09:21
  Of, oh, we can do an episode on her.
• 2:09:22
  Like it's actually really interesting.
• 2:09:23
  I, I did one on her on my old podcast and just the, the amount
• 2:09:29
  of shit that you can dig up on her is like fucking crazy.
• 2:09:33
  But anyway. Dracula became the basically the
• 2:09:36
  face of vampires and then Dracula was adapted to a
• 2:09:39
  Broadway play in 1920, which is. I didn't even know that there
• 2:09:43
  was a Broadway play about Dracula but whatever there have
• 2:09:47
  been a few negative things that have come to light ever since.
• 2:09:50
  Dracula pop doll. Some experts believe that
• 2:09:53
  Dracula was written from a place of anti-Semitism.
• 2:09:56
  The vampire and character came from Eastern Europe where there
• 2:10:01
  is a large Jewish population and the character was written
• 2:10:04
  explicitly to not be Christian. And in the book, Dracula also
• 2:10:08
  sometimes works as Jewish people to plan as evil deeds.
• 2:10:12
  He makes it a point to infiltrate society, which again
• 2:10:15
  is something Jewish people were accused of back.
• 2:10:19
  Yeah, basically it's not super uplifting towards anyone but
• 2:10:23
  Christians, which makes sense when you remember that at the
• 2:10:25
  time when Dracula was written, there was a lot of
• 2:10:27
  anti-Semitism. People love to use monsters as a
• 2:10:31
  way to project whatever it is that society is fearing at the
• 2:10:36
  time. And kind of like basically just
• 2:10:39
  it's it's kind of like the witch trials.
• 2:10:40
  Like it just it does change like at the witch.
• 2:10:42
  The witch trials would have been any strong opinionated woman is
• 2:10:47
  threat then. So you're like now?
• 2:10:49
  Let's see you trials. It is.
• 2:10:53
  Oh, you're an accountant, is it? 2.
• 2:10:58
  So. Tie him to a chair and see if he
• 2:11:01
  floats. And then another example of this
• 2:11:06
  is that during the AIDS epidemic in the 80s, vampire movies saw a
• 2:11:10
  huge spike in popularity. People were terrified of
• 2:11:13
  diseases that were contagious through your blood and you
• 2:11:16
  couldn't do anything about. So we enter the 21st century and
• 2:11:20
  vampires are everywhere we look. What there's, I mean, there is
• 2:11:24
  like there's a lot of new vampire movies really kind of
• 2:11:28
  often like no umm, hey. I've never seen that one that
• 2:11:38
  the the black, the black vampires and the Irish vampire
• 2:11:42
  or whatever they are sinners is. Great sinners is I think you
• 2:11:48
  really like sinners. It's really good.
• 2:11:50
  Umm, Jack O'Connell is, is great in it.
• 2:11:53
  He's he's really good. A lot of it is like a lot, a
• 2:11:57
  lot. I mean, it goes really into
• 2:11:59
  Irish culture and stuff like that, which I really like.
• 2:12:01
  And like how we're kind of similar to like enslaved, like
• 2:12:06
  it's coming out of prohibition basically that kind of timing.
• 2:12:09
  But it's like basically he's like, oh, are you all clan?
• 2:12:12
  And the kind of underlying theme is he, he's really offended by
• 2:12:15
  it because he's like, no, like I know exactly what it's like to
• 2:12:17
  have your religion and your way of life taken away from you,
• 2:12:21
  like. You know.
• 2:12:24
  Yeah, so he's not a racist. He just wants to to eat them.
• 2:12:26
  So and he's like there's like a meme by it that he's so offended
• 2:12:31
  when like they asked him like Michael B Jordan's like yo
• 2:12:34
  clown. And he's like, Sir, it's like,
• 2:12:36
  you know that like James Franco gift where he's like.
• 2:12:38
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he is.
• 2:12:41
  Just not offended. Like in his mind, he's just so
• 2:12:44
  bloodthirsty that he doesn't fucking care.
• 2:12:47
  Who's carrying? It he's just like.
• 2:12:49
  Hallow taste color. Yeah, like basically.
• 2:12:52
  But he's, he's his name is like a Remic.
• 2:12:55
  Yeah. And apparently he's like 1000
• 2:12:57
  year old. He was from way back when
• 2:12:59
  Ireland was very much like a Pagan, the Pagan gods and things
• 2:13:03
  like that. It's really good.
• 2:13:05
  I think you really like it. Yeah, I.
• 2:13:07
  Have to watch it now, tractively explaining the whole thing to
• 2:13:09
  me. I've got to do Forrest Gump.
• 2:13:11
  What can help? But we should just do an episode
• 2:13:15
  where we reenact Forrest Gump. Just pull up the.
• 2:13:20
  Screen. Janae.
• 2:13:24
  Me and Jerry, we was like peas and.
• 2:13:26
  Peas and carrots get along, make me a bird.
• 2:13:31
  Slack as I hacked she watch it now she was a fuck like Oh yeah
• 2:13:36
  literally like here you go my retired ex-boyfriend.
• 2:13:39
  You can raise my aids baby. Bye.
• 2:13:42
  That's the whole story. Anyways.
• 2:13:48
  Talking about AIDS a lot in this episode.
• 2:13:50
  Let me finish this. So yeah, AIDS are afraid of
• 2:13:57
  things in their blood, blah blah.
• 2:14:00
  And then basically everything kind of like followed the same
• 2:14:04
  playbook. But they got like a little bit
• 2:14:07
  of a sexy makeover in the 70s when Anne Rice wrote The Vampire
• 2:14:12
  Chronicles. And then that got an ultimate
• 2:14:15
  glow up when Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt did Interview with the
• 2:14:19
  Vampire, which is fucking a great movie.
• 2:14:23
  Oh yeah, basically that's kind of.
• 2:14:26
  Where I'm going with this, I have like a whole thing with
• 2:14:28
  zombies that we can do on another episode because I've got
• 2:14:31
  a lot on that. This one ran a lot longer than I
• 2:14:34
  thought it would. But.
• 2:14:36
  Yeah, there is like still a huge popular thing when it comes to
• 2:14:41
  vampires. Not so much werewolves, but
• 2:14:43
  like, I feel like people don't really want to fuck werewolves.
• 2:14:48
  Vampires are. Yeah, I don't.
• 2:14:49
  I don't know, I think because the the fact that the werewolf
• 2:14:54
  thing, the change is what makes us so you're just a man and then
• 2:15:00
  you're a wolf. But like, well, there is the
• 2:15:04
  there's the two, there's the two categories of it.
• 2:15:06
  There's the wolf man kind of a thing.
• 2:15:09
  So like, do you turn into a wolf or do you turn into something
• 2:15:12
  that looks like a man with wolf's features And he has that
• 2:15:15
  doesn't matter. But the vampires, it's the
• 2:15:19
  transformation isn't important for them to be kind of imposing
• 2:15:23
  and sexy, like what you were saying, Like the whole fucking.
• 2:15:28
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I think like as well,
• 2:15:31
  like I, I mean, I think at least modern day like werewolves, the
• 2:15:35
  human behind the werewolf is always depicted as this like job
• 2:15:40
  aggressive kind of like. Anger issues, dude, Yeah.
• 2:15:44
  And then like, vampires are always like brooding and sexy
• 2:15:48
  and there's like a difference. Like they're like the this, you
• 2:15:51
  know, they like poetry and they're like scholars and stuff
• 2:15:55
  like that. And it's just like.
• 2:15:56
  Werewolves are straight and vampires are gay.
• 2:15:59
  That's what you've. Or at.
• 2:16:01
  Least bisexual. At least bisexual.
• 2:16:04
  I think werewolves. Are jobs.
• 2:16:07
  Bisexual men are just placeholding until the tell you
• 2:16:14
  that they're 100% gay like. They just need to meet the right
• 2:16:18
  call. That's all it is.
• 2:16:20
  They're just waiting to meet the right cop to settle down for.
• 2:16:22
  And I completely admit that they're gay.
• 2:16:24
  Anyways, we don't have, we're asking, we've, we've offended
• 2:16:27
  enough people here today, I think.
• 2:16:28
  I don't think we should get into the LGBT community.
• 2:16:33
  Bisexuality is a lie. I'm sorry but it should just be
• 2:16:36
  LG Whatever, take B out. There's no such thing.
• 2:16:42
  This is a by erasure episode, I swear.
• 2:16:47
  Ladies and gentlemen, that being said, we've we've been howling
• 2:16:54
  at the moon for long enough. We've been sucking your soul for
• 2:16:59
  way too long. We've been quoting Forrest Gump
• 2:17:05
  and now it is time for us to go. We'll talk to you next week.
• 2:17:11
  I've been justy. She's been intolerable.
• 2:17:16
  I know this week she's been very informative.
• 2:17:19
  I've been. Really good at my nose since
• 2:17:21
  I've done a lot of research. You nailed it this week, you
• 2:17:25
  fucking. It's like you've got Mexican
• 2:17:27
  focus. And thanks for hanging out with
• 2:17:33
  us first, Focus, focus, lack of focus out.