Latest / Beyond Sovereignty / #028 - What Men Actually WANT in Relationships 💭❤️

Transcript

#028 - What Men Actually WANT in Relationships 💭❤️ · Beyond Sovereignty

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  When a fight is starting to brew, give yourself the opportunity to
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  realize, I hate it when I see in the shopping centers the guys sitting there holding the handbag.
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  Don't make him a poodle when he's a German shepherd. How
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  can you honor your man? Try this. Let's drop the kids off with mum this
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  week and have sex in front of everybody in the beach. I don't know what your kinks are,
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  but remember that men love physical touch.
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  It's so necessary in a relationship. The biggest
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  gift you can ever give to a man is actually get to know him
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  and love him unconditionally. A really great practice around
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  this is to Welcome Wisdom Keepers, Soul
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  Tribe and New Earth leaders to Soul Temple, your haven for
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  growth and self-discovery. I am Blythe Langford and
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  I'm going to be your guide to helping you find yourself and
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  your true purpose. Together, let's shift from feeling stuck
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  and misaligned to living a life of purpose and
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  pleasure and prosperity. What do
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  men want in a relationship? Why the fuck is a little girl talking about
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  this? The reason that I
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  am so passionate to talk about this is because I was
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  a hairdresser. I spoke to
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  thousands of men over two decades, literally
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  one-on-one in close proximity, where they would
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  divulge their secrets to me constantly.
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  And most people would be like, I can't believe I just told you that. I can't believe I
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  just told you that. I've never told anybody that. I've never even said that out loud. So
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  that's why I want to share this, because I feel like being a hairdresser, but
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  then also being a coach. And at the moment, honestly,
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  I say that I work with women, but 70% of my clients are
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  men. So I have a lot of insight
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  into men. And I think it's because I am
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  embodied in the masculine and the feminine. And I literally, for
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  so long, I was like, I've just got a man's brain. I know how men
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  think. I really do. And I felt more,
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  I guess because I was so connected with
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  my dad, I literally knew how. And he would tell me
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  all the ins and outs of his relationship, the good, the bad, the
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  ugly. So I just know how men think. And
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  that's why I want to share this with everybody, because I feel like it can be
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  so beneficial to women, but also to men as well. But
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  really, beneficial just for relationships in
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  general. So that's a bit of the background on why
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  I wanted to talk to you about this. So let's dive deep into it. We're
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  going to go into all the different areas of ways
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  that women can show up in a relationship that aren't supportive
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  their relationship growth and aren't supportive their
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  men. So what I'll be sharing about is how
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  to love your man. How to fall in love with the man that you have, not
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  wanting to change him all the time, because that is so common with all
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  women, wanting to change their man so that he can be this person. So
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  we're going to go deep into that. How to create a safe space
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  How about we go first? We'll go into that. And
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  then how to empower the divinity in your man and
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  to stop emancipating him. Ugh, so yucky.
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  Let's just grow the fuck up and admit what we have done. I've
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  done it. You've probably done it. Let's
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  be the best versions of ourselves. I also want
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  to touch on how to honour your man so that he can honour you
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  in return the way that you want to be honoured. How you can grow together and
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  not have to leave each other behind when you are growing. Because I
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  hear that so often. how to
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  See how we're just looping in this? Like do we want to grow into this divine relationship
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  or do we want to just keep on butting heads against each other? Let's use
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  beautiful tools that are going to allow your relationship to be exactly what
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  it needs to be so that we don't have to be these juvenile parts of ourselves showing
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  up and actually Helping us suffer. Fuck
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  the suffering. Let's move on and have beautiful divine relationships. And
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  also I want to bring light to the questions that I
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  would personally be asking somebody before I get into a relationship. Because
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  I speak to so many people, they're like, I didn't know this about him before we had kids. Now
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  I'm with him. I'm like, what the fuck? We have different morals and values. I'm
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  like, how could you not have asked that before you got into a relationship? So
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  we'll go into those questions that can be really supportive as well if you are getting into a
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  new union. And then understanding their past, their
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  lineage, what they've been through, not so that you can reject them,
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  but so that you can dive deeper into just the
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  knowing of them and the particular traits
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  that potentially they're growing through or that are going to
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  be challenging for you and how you might need to show up
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  in your divinity to be able to support them. And never taking your man for granted
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  because a lot of the time we take our men for granted and so we're
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  going to go into that as well. Continuing to see him and
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  fall in love with him constantly rather than having it
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  go the other way. So let's get into it. First of all, how to love
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  your man and not want to change him. This is so huge
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  because Can you imagine if your partner
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  was like, I'm talking to you chicks out there, my ladies. Can you
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  imagine if every time you went out, and you're going to be triggered by this, you're welcome. Every
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  time you went out, your man was looking at somebody else and was like, babe, why
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  can't you just be like that? Babe. See that
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  chick over there? Look how hot she is. Why can't you just be like that? And a couple of you
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  are like, my man does do that. Okay, cool. That's not what this is about.
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  That's another story for another time. But it's, can
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  you imagine constantly being shut down for who you
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  are? And yet, as women, we constantly do that. We're
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  like, why can't you do this? Why can't you do that? Why can't you do this? Why can't you do that?
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  So what we're doing is we're not actually being
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  with that person. We are trying to
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  change them in order for them to be who we want them to be.
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  So the biggest gift you can ever give to a man is
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  actually get to know him, who he is, and
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  love him unconditionally. Because then he
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  will love you unconditionally and your relationship will flourish. And
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  so many of you are like, how the fuck do I do that? I don't love those
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  aspects of him. Figure out a way where you
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  can. Because if you do not love him, you're
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  not in a relationship with him. You're in a relationship with the fucking delusion
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  in your mind of who you want this guy to be. And then you are not honouring him.
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  So break up. Give him the opportunity to go and
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  find somebody that loves him as he is. And give yourself the opportunity to
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  realise that you don't want to be with anybody except a delusion in your mind.
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  Like it's fucked. And women do this constantly. Or
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  do some deep inner work on yourself so that you can learn to
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  love somebody as they are. That's the whole
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  point of a relationship. And we're going to go into growth and how you can
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  separate and all those things after. But a really great practice around
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  this is to actually ask your man questions and
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  listen to his answers without trying to change him, without trying to talk
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  over him, without trying to use
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  them as a trigger to actually tell him what you want to
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  tell him. Fucking listen. We've got two ears,
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  one mouth. That's how it should be because we need to listen twice
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  as hard as we actually talk because we run our mouths off so much
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  as women. I'm not saying me, but I'm just, of course, I'm
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  perfect. We run our mouths
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  off so much as women and we don't actually listen to our
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  men and we constantly just shut him down every single time
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  we do that. So then he has to show up being this fake version of
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  himself so that he can actually be with you because you
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  can't actually allow him to be his organic state
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  and his organic nature. And we are
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  encouraging in that moment him to be a
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  liar. And then you wonder why your man doesn't tell you the truth. Because every time you
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  do, you spit the dummy and go crazy. So
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  he is just trying to show up and do his best for you each and every
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  moment. And he's constantly, as a man, a man's brain
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  is a problem solver. So he's constantly just trying to figure out how
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  he can solve this problem for you. You're creating bigger problems than they need to
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  be. So the practice is be there and listen to
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  your man regularly. Allow him to speak and
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  don't make it about yourself. have
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  other times where you talk about you, absolutely. But please just
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  be there and allow him to be held and seen and
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  heard. And when you do this, you will see
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  a man change. Because in Australia, especially, and in
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  most Western countries, our men are so shut down emotionally.
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  They are not in tune with their emotions. because they have been,
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  just like us, suppressed by the patriarchal society,
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  right? So when we give them the space to express vulnerably
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  and authentically, then they're building the
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  capacity of safety within their body because it allows them to come back into
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  the feminine. And so when a man is shut down, suppressed in his alpha or
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  not really there for you or doing all those things, it's because he hasn't matured
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  into the divine masculine and feminine within him. So
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  we as women, if we hold a safe space for our man to
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  actually share and express authentically, then
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  over time it doesn't happen straight away. Over time he
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  will feel safer and safer in his feminine and
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  he will feel safer to share with you authentically. But
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  it takes time because he's never been held in a safe space before.
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  So you get to be that one if you want to be in a
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  divine relationship with him. You get to be that one that
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  opens up and cracks this new version of his heart open wide.
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  And when you can be there and not shut
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  him down and not talk over him and just
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  be there in a loving space and love on him whilst
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  he's sharing with you, then you will get the man that you actually
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  desire. Because all men are
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  beautiful. All men have got beautiful big hearts. The
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  only reason that they've got hard shells around them is because nobody's cracked them
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  yet with Love. And
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  that gets to be your job if you choose it. Because once you
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  crack open the heart of a man, he'll
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  never want to leave you because you're the safest space for him on
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  this planet. And it's not about being toxic
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  or, you know, codependent or anything like that. That's what
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  divinity is. It's about being able to hold a safe space
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  for each other. It's when you're able to fully be present,
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  not trying to change them, not trying to fix them, but just being
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  with them, seeing them, hearing them, loving
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  on them when they're telling you the truth. Because nothing's sexier than authenticity, right?
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  I've gone out with the most wrong people just because they were authentic and I
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  love them so much and I still love them unconditionally because I
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  love loving people unconditionally. Anyway, it's not about me. It's you. Let's
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  go back to you. So that
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  is how you can create a safe space and I hope that you do
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  try that and please let me know if you try that because What's
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  on the other side of that is the most divine relationship, the best sex, the
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  most sensuality, pleasure and worthiness you've probably ever felt. And
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  then it goes, it turns your man from being those wandering eyes
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  elsewhere to just being focused on you because he loves you so
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  much. And I would love you to be able to hold that space for your man. the
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  most and then we're going to talk about emancipation of your man because
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  so many women do this by being controlling and it's it's
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  not our fault it's how society has trained us to be that
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  the men go off to war and the men go and do all of these things so that they are not
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  a dominant role in our family unit and that's been
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  orchestrated perfectly for the state of the world that
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  we're in now we don't have enough divine men in their
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  masculine that are able to stand up
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  to a woman with masculine power Because masculine
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  power, true masculine power, is not abrasive,
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  it's not violent or aggressive. But it's been
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  able to stand there and just be like, no. You
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  know? And when a man can stand up to his woman just in his
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  own truth and his essence, then it's
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  actually the most sexiest thing in the world, right, women? When a man can stand
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  up to you and be like, I love you, and just, no. It's
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  not happening today. But when men are so emancipated
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  by the feminine, they will be the people pleaser. They will
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  do all the things that you want. They'll hold your handbag. They'll do all
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  of the things that you want a cleaner, a
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  cook, a maid to do but he'll
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  be emancipated as fuck and he will never step into his divinity and
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  he will also be in his toxic masculine whilst you are
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  in your toxic feminine. You're in your dark femme and he's in
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  his weak masculine. So when
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  you can allow your man to make
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  decisions then he will grow and
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  But when you've been a strong feminine leader and you take
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  that into your relationship and you're like, oh my God, he only got a
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  $2 raise and he wants me to mump and he wants me to be fucking happy
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  And he's gone out and been like, I fought for this, for you woman.
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  And you're like unappreciative and you just shut him down no matter what he's doing. When
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  he's literally like, I'm doing these things because I love you unconditionally.
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  Like, can you see how that would be emancipating of your
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  man? Whereas when you would just sit back with him and just be like, Thank
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  you so much for doing this for us, for our family. I
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  love you. And this is how I'm
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  feeling during this, or this is the space that I want us to grow into. Can
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  we step up as a team even more together? You know,
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  get him on board. He's not your fucking enemy. Like work
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  with him in your divine feminine essence.
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  Don't be that abrasive masculine bitch that
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  turns him into a pussy. Like, that's what we're doing. And
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  that's why men are so confused. They
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  really want you
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  to just love him as he is and be honest without
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  being a psychopath. Okay? Because when you psycho, you
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  get an emancipated man. And that's what a lot of women have. So
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  shut down in their power and then when you see a man with other men, you're like,
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  Who the fuck is this guy? Like, he's so not like this
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  at home. Because he's suppressing most of who
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  he is because he can't even be himself around you,
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  which is inauthentic. You're like, no, but he's the only one that I can be around because he's
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  so beautiful when he's around me. It's like, is he
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  really? Or are you controlling him to be the version of himself
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  that you want him to be, which is not even his organic nature? Because
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  I see this constantly and men tell me
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  constantly. Yeah, you know, it's just so nice to be with
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  the boys because then I don't have to try as hard. What
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  do you mean by that? Well, you know, I have to be the person that I want her to be
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  whenever I'm around her. I'm like, so
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  you're not being authentic? It's like, I'm doing what I have to because I love
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  her. Your
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  men are doing whatever they can to keep you because they
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  love you. And yet many women are
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  pushing them and controlling them to be this person that you
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  don't even really like. Do you see where I'm coming here?
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  So it's like, how can we have different relationships with our men
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  and create beautiful safe spaces to get to know them? Not
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  the version of them that you've made them create to
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  be with you that you don't even really like. See, it's so messy,
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  huh? Stop emancipating your man. Let him try and do things for
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  you that he thinks are going to support you. And
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  be appreciative that he gave it a go. Because I'm sure there's a
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  gazillion things that you do that your man does not appreciate. And he literally
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  pretends that he does. He's not an arsehole about it. So, you know, give
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  it a go. I hope you are loving this episode but I'm just
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  giving it a pause here because I want to tell you about a really
• 16:34
  amazing masterclass I have. It's totally free. We'll pop it in the show notes
• 16:37
  below. It goes through a really cool soul activation so
• 16:40
  that you can get to the depths of your purpose and also help
• 16:44
  you uncover why you're here on this planet, what you're really passionate
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  about, go through how to create a blueprint, how you can actually
• 16:51
  action that into the world. So I highly recommend you looking out
• 16:54
  for this masterclass. It's called Missions for Millions, and it will allow
• 16:58
  you to go to greater depths within your soul, within your spirit, within your life, all
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  of the things. It's yummy. So get on it, guys. Back to the episode. I hope
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  you are loving it. How can you honor your man? Well,
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  all of those things that I just said, of course. And... honouring
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  him who he actually is. So this will
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  have to be personalised depending on the man that you're with, of course, and what, whether
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  he's an introvert or an extrovert, whether he really values
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  significance or contribution, or it depends,
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  you know, whether he loves variety or connection.
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  It just depends. So this is a process for
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  you to get to know your man and get to know whether he
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  He doesn't like me talking about him in front of anybody. He just like, he's so
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  Yes, and everybody loves
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  to be seen as being loved and worthy in front of other people.
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  Even if there's a part of them that's so fucking wounded from their childhood that
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  they hate it, the deep essence of their soul loves
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  being appreciated in front of other people. So, noticing
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  where in your relationship you might be putting him down and
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  not even aware of it. How can you honor him in the littlest moments
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  during your day? You know, like let's say you've got kids and you accidentally
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  put him down in front of your kids or you like, there goes daddy
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  again, being that jerk, or like you get your kids on side
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  with you. Every time you do that, You are
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  emancipating your man, telling him that he's wrong, shutting him down.
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  You're literally being that female caregiver that
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  he had as a child that just kept on pushing him down, pushing him down, pushing him down. So
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  how can you, in the littlest moments, maybe you're getting out of an Uber and
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  the Uber says, you know, you're such a lovely couple, rather than being a bitch about it, just
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  go, yeah, I'm really lucky to be with this beautiful man. Or,
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  you know, when your mum's like, oh, you know, he's so lovely instead of being
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  like, yeah, but you don't know all the things that he doesn't do. Be like, actually, you're
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  right. He's super beautiful. I'm so grateful. Let
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  him see that you're talking about these things. Every time you do, it's
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  like a little, it's like you've got a key unlocking another
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  little layer of his heart so that he will show up
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  for you. And a lot of people will be like, Blythe,
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  me and my partner, we've just got terrible language with each other and that's just our
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  way of being jokey and fun and playful. Okay, cool.
• 19:30
  Well, do you want to try something new so that you can have an even greater depth of
• 19:33
  your relationship, so that your man will actually honour you, so
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  that your man will treat you like a fucking queen each and every
• 19:40
  day with his words as well as his actions? Then
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  try this, because I can guarantee you that he'll be like, oh,
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  Hmm, I'm super turned on by this. I like this.
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  Fuck yes. Okay, let me honor you too. I love
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  you. And then flowers might come in and gifts might come in or
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  maybe that hand holding and the other things that you really crave or
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  maybe him wanting to pleasure you before sex rather than just wanting to
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  fuck you all the time. All of these little things are
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  keys to a man's heart because he wants to
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  know how to honor you. So
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  give that a go. Now this is a really big one, growing together,
• 20:26
  because so many women are like, I have outgrown my man, we
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  need to break up. Oh my gosh, we're on different trajectories. I
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  have just outgrown him and he has stayed well behind. Has
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  he? Or has he supported your growth the entire time?
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  Questionable, huh? Because when I speak to a lot of men, they're like, yeah,
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  I've been supporting her growth mentally and emotionally so
• 20:50
  that she could be the woman that she wants to be. Why would I be growing with
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  her? Because she's on another trajectory where I get to be the supporter. I
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  It's like, yeah, but you don't grow the same because he's not a woman.
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  Okay. He is a man and a man's job
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  is to hold his woman. So all
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  of those times you thought he wasn't growing with you and he was going to
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  work every day and paying the bills, looking after your
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  family, if you're a mother this is, that doesn't work or whatever,
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  supporting your growth, happy when
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  you go and learn new things. He has been your biggest
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  fucking supporter that there is. So
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  maybe he needs a bit of time and space to be able to be held financially
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  so that he can go and grow in other ways as well. Or
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  maybe he needs to go to a men's group and be
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  able to be gifted that time or shown other ways.
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  Or maybe he needs none of it because you're the one that wants to be the seen as
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  significant in your relationship and wants to grow your business. So
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  maybe he just gets to support you for a bit longer so that you can do
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  everything that you want to do. What I would love in
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  this step is to think about how he
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  supported you in your growth and rather than seeing
• 22:17
  him as being distant and rather than seeing him as being
• 22:20
  not evolved as you, maybe you can consider that
• 22:24
  your evolution was because of his support. and
• 22:28
  what that actually took, what he had to give up in
• 22:32
  order to be able to support you. He gave up his growth so
• 22:35
  that you could have it. He gave that up for you
• 22:39
  because he loves you. Fuck. So
• 22:44
  beautiful. And so when we can have that love and appreciation then
• 22:48
  maybe we can go back to our man and be like, Honey,
• 22:51
  my love, oh my gosh, I just realized that you allowed me to grow so much.
• 22:55
  You supported me in all of these ways. How would you love to
• 22:58
  grow? What would nourish your soul at the greatest depths? Or
• 23:02
  what do you want to learn that you haven't even spoken about?
• 23:06
  Tell me the things about your soul that it yearns for. and
• 23:10
  then maybe you can support him in his growth and the chances are it won't be
• 23:13
  the same growth as you but it will be perfect in its divine union because
• 23:16
  you get to support him in his growth and there'll be different things that
• 23:20
  will contribute to your relationship that will be yummy and
• 23:23
  nourishing and sensual and you don't want a carbon copy
• 23:27
  of you you want somebody that's different and inspiring and
• 23:31
  fucking cool you know and yeah So
• 23:37
  allow him to be his own expression of divinity. And
• 23:41
  don't put onto him what you want him to be. allow
• 23:45
  him to find himself the same way that he allowed you
• 23:48
  to find yourself too. And then that would really encourage you to not
• 23:52
  take him for granted, right? Like, taking a man for granted, this
• 23:55
  is one of the things that so many men say. They're like, she
• 23:58
  doesn't even appreciate me. She just takes me for granted and then wants to just dress me up and take me
• 24:01
  out to her friends and get me to hold a bag when I go shopping. Like, she doesn't even know
• 24:04
  me or care about me. That's why I'm like, Don't get him to do those things with
• 24:08
  you. Go shopping by your fucking self. Oh my God, I hate it when I
• 24:11
  see in the shopping centers, like the guys sitting there holding the handbag, waiting outside, you
• 24:15
  know, showing the dresses, like, what do you think this one? Does my bum look big in this? He's
• 24:19
  not your girlfriend. He's just not. Don't make
• 24:22
  him a poodle when he's a fucking German
• 24:26
  shepherd. You know, like he's not a
• 24:29
  pussy, but you want him to be everything for you. And
• 24:34
  I get that that's... No, I don't get it. I was going to say, I get that
• 24:37
  that's beautiful. You want me to be there all the time, but no, it's not. It's codependency.
• 24:41
  Get a girlfriend to go with you. Go by yourself. Get some, get
• 24:45
  some lady balls and go by yourself to the shops and try the clothes on and assess
• 24:48
  whether your bum looks big in those jeans. Don't make him do that shit. It's so
• 24:51
  emancipating. Like, fuck, I used to be that chick. Yuck.
• 24:55
  I would never do that now. Because it's
• 24:58
  also when we're in our unworthy space of like, am I okay? Am I worthy in
• 25:02
  this? Am I okay? Are you going to love me in this? Like, let's love ourselves.
• 25:05
  Do you feel hot in that? If you don't, fucking don't get it. Straight up. Straight
• 25:09
  up, you know? So going to that next evolution, never taking
• 25:12
  him for granted. Appreciate him in his masculine roles of
• 25:16
  what he is doing for you and the relationship. Don't make him be a lady.
• 25:20
  Don't make him do that. And then you can continue to see
• 25:24
  him and fall in love with him, right? Allowing yourself each
• 25:27
  and every day. You know, it's like when we have parents, we see our
• 25:30
  parents and we're like, we don't even ask them how they are or like
• 25:34
  what we do, but we already know the answer. We don't actually care about the answer
• 25:38
  because we already know what they're going to say. And we've already judged them on
• 25:41
  it before they've even actually spoken. Now, this is something that I've been
• 25:44
  practicing for the last 20 years. It has changed my life astronomically
• 25:49
  with every single person. to actually ask them how they are and
• 25:53
  give a fuck. Most people just don't
• 25:57
  Every day we shop, we're like, I love you, I love you, okay, see you, have a great day, how was
• 26:00
  Oh, it was pretty shit, this person, blah, blah, blah. And we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, not
• 26:03
  even there. Fucking be there with him. See
• 26:07
  him. When you're actually looking in
• 26:11
  someone's eyes and you're present, and
• 26:16
  you see their soul, fuck, it's so sensual. Fuck, it's
• 26:19
  such a turn on. Like, you'll be the one that wants to jump on
• 26:22
  him. You know, like, so allow yourself to
• 26:25
  fall deeper in love with him each and every day. Be
• 26:30
  there with him. See him. Take time if you might be like, I've got kids,
• 26:34
  I don't have time for that. Make the fucking time. Or you will suffer in
• 26:37
  your relationships. Generally. The generalisation. But
• 26:41
  make the fucking time to see him and fall in love with him. Because
• 26:44
  he's worthy of your love. And if you're not giving it to him, then you're not giving it
• 26:48
  to yourself. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. So if you're not
• 26:51
  giving it to him then you're not making the time for yourself and your life's gonna be a bit shit. So
• 26:55
  step the fuck up, see him, fall deeper in love
• 26:58
  with him each and every day. Make time, make dates, make
• 27:02
  things playful, do different things, try different
• 27:06
  things so that you can continue to
• 27:09
  have a beautiful relationship together and remember that
• 27:13
  men love physical touch. It's
• 27:17
  necessary, so necessary in a relationship. So
• 27:21
  many women are just like, I just can't be bothered to have sex with him.
• 27:24
  I just can't be bothered with this, you know, blah, blah, blah. It's like, Okay,
• 27:29
  cool. Because you're just thinking about sex. How can you initiate
• 27:32
  things in a way that you want to initiate? How can you express to
• 27:36
  your partner how you want to be loved? How you want to make
• 27:39
  love? How can you express that in a way that's going to be supportive for him
• 27:42
  so that he knows how to please you? And obviously,
• 27:46
  if you tell him one thing and he does that one thing every night, then it's definitely not going to please
• 27:49
  you anymore. So you need to grow and evolve together and you need to be rapidly honest.
• 27:53
  Because so many people just aren't honest. It's like, yeah, I told him this
• 27:57
  Why haven't you told him anything in 10 years? Come on, girl. You've got responsibility. Step
• 28:03
  You know, I want to go out kayaking. I want to go for a picnic lunch. And
• 28:06
  then I want to have, like, sex with you behind a bush this week. Or, you know,
• 28:10
  like, let's, like, go... Oh my God, it's so evil.
• 28:14
  Let's go to the church and make out in this box. I don't know, like... How
• 28:18
  can you make it fun and playful? Let's drop the kids off with
• 28:22
  mum this week, and let's go on a fucking skinny dip and have sex
• 28:25
  in front of everybody in the beach. I don't know what your kinks are, but
• 28:28
  like, play with them, figure it out, and you'll be like, yeah babe, let's never
• 28:31
  do that again, because mine is so sandy and just, it
• 28:34
  was too rough. You know, like, sand grit might not be a sex
• 28:38
  thing. But figure out what you guys love and try new
• 28:41
  things. Go on holidays by yourself without your kids. My parents
• 28:45
  used to do this and they were married their entire lives. They got together
• 28:48
  when My mum was 13 or 12 or something. So
• 28:52
  wrong. But, you know, they stayed together their entire lives. And
• 28:55
  they went on holidays without the kids. And then they also went on holidays separately
• 28:59
  as well to reinvigorate themselves. And when
• 29:02
  you do that, you come back way more in love with the other person, way
• 29:06
  more in love with your kids. Like, it really was so beautiful. And we had
• 29:09
  the funnest times. Like, that's where I learned to do all of these cool shit was off
• 29:12
  our nannies. Like, it was so fun. I was like, see, I see your mum
• 29:19
  Like, because they were young chicks looking after us, it was so cool and so fun
• 29:22
  and let you get away with murder. I'm like, I'm too sick to go to school. She's like, yeah, what do you want to
• 29:25
  do? I'm like, I don't know, let's have fun. You know, it was so
• 29:29
  fun. So allow your kids, your partner, yourself to
• 29:33
  have these moments where you're not obligated to do everything because
• 29:36
  you're not obligated to do everything. And, you know, it doesn't need to
• 29:39
  be, you know, pre-COVID people would have been getting au
• 29:47
  Really know they're not, and just allow
• 29:50
  yourself to open up an opportunity. You could be like, I don't have the money for that. Look, au pairs live
• 29:53
  with you for free, all right? So don't give me that shit. There's a way around everything.
• 29:57
  Be like, I don't have the money to go on a holiday with my husband. Okay.
• 30:01
  Potentially, that's definitely true. And maybe you just go away
• 30:05
  for the weekend and you go camping. I hate camping. Get over it. Go to a lake. I
• 30:08
  don't know. Skinny dip. Go somewhere. Do something amazing. Just figure it out. So
• 30:12
  you can totally do that. And the last thing I really want
• 30:15
  to talk to you about is fighting. So when we're
• 30:18
  in relationships, it's so easy to just be aggressive and
• 30:25
  you know, when something comes up nine times out of 10, it's
• 30:28
  just because we want to be seen and heard. So when a
• 30:31
  fight is starting to brew and a man wants to always
• 30:35
  like either fight or just get the fuck out. And women,
• 30:39
  when the guy is getting, wants to get the fuck out, because nine times out of 10, it's the men wanting to
• 30:43
  No, we've got to go through this. No, like be
• 30:50
  Yes. And he needs to move away from you
• 30:53
  because he's a man and he might explode. Right? Like he
• 30:57
  might become aggressive. He is actually nourishing you
• 31:00
  when he leaves. So allow him to go and cool the fuck down
• 31:04
  so that he can come back and be a man with you. He is being divine masculine
• 31:08
  in that moment and you are being a juvenile feminine potentially in that moment.
• 31:11
  So allow yourself the space to go away as well and breathe to
• 31:15
  ground and come back to your sane mind. Because it's
• 31:18
  so easy for us to slicker switch in our mind where we go a little
• 31:24
  And we want a man to like hear all of us and see all of our wounds and like fix
• 31:28
  us but then we don't want him to fix us and then all of the things it's like a fucking whirlwind, right?
• 31:32
  Like it's so confusing for us and we want him to figure it out. He's
• 31:36
  doing his best. Allow him to go away. He'll figure
• 31:39
  out what he needs to do. And then you'll come back a better man. Cause guess
• 31:42
  what you want? You want a better man. And if you want to fight, go
• 31:46
  out to your fucking backyard, go to the ocean, go to the river, go into
• 31:49
  your car, get a fucking towel, sponge it up and scream into
• 31:53
  it. Don't scream into your man's face. You don't need to project that poison onto him.
• 31:56
  Okay. Go and do something different. It will change the
• 31:59
  trajectory of your relationship dramatically. And
• 32:03
  also you'll become fucking empowered because you don't need to vomit
• 32:08
  toxicity onto your partner all the time. Right? Let's own
• 32:11
  our shit, become into our feminine and own
• 32:14
  when we're fucked up and express it in ways that are going to be true and
• 32:18
  real and service us and our man. I
• 32:24
  love this topic. Was this topic good for you? I wonder. I loved bringing this to
• 32:27
  you because, yeah, I really love men and I really want more
• 32:30
  of us to love men because men are fucking awesome. Like,
• 32:34
  we're awesome too, but sometimes women forget how awesome their men
• 32:37
  are and I just would love you to... get
• 32:41
  to know your man at great depth so that he is
• 32:44
  the safest space on this planet for you to be all
• 32:47
  of you so that you feel loved and held and every time
• 32:50
  you consider breaking up instead you go to greater depths and
• 32:54
  your relationship becomes better and better and better because remember the
• 32:58
  consciousness of your genitals like I said in a previous episode the longer you
• 33:01
  are together the more they get to know each other and the more love
• 33:05
  and depth you will feel and the more you will
• 33:08
  never want to leave and that's what I holy, divine union is, and
• 33:12
  that's what the society is trying to break up, right? So please
• 33:20
  Please give it a go. Be there in your feminine power,
• 33:24
  your fierceness, your softness, your love and hold your man and
• 33:28
  fucking get to know him. I love you. I
• 33:31
  love you so much. I hope this was helpful. Let me know how. Let
• 33:34
  me know what you were triggered by. Let me know what you want to step into in your feminine
• 33:38
  embodiment within your relationship. Thank you so much for joining me
• 33:42
  on Soul Temple. If this episode spoke to your soul, I would love
• 33:45
  your support with a five star review on Apple Podcasts and
• 33:48
  Spotify. And don't forget, please subscribe on your favorite platform
• 33:52
  too. Don't let your journey end here. Connect with me and my like-minded community
• 33:56
  of beautiful souls at Blythe Blankford on all social platforms.
• 34:00
  I look forward to diving with you deeper on your journey.