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Michelle Pecak: Live Authentically with No Regrets · The Bold Lounge

• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Today we have Michelle Picak, who is a leader in electrical distribution field.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm very excited to have you here, Michelle.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for coming.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you for having me.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be here and watch your journey and to watch the Bold Lounge take off.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm I'm honored to be a part of it.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So first off, tell us a little about yourself and just uh a brief introduction, a little bit about Michelle.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I am a single mom of three amazing boys.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: They're 12, 9, and 6, so they keep me very busy.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I also have two golden retrievers that have the unconditional love of following mom around and keeping my feet warm at all times.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: So they've been a very unexpected blessing to my life.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't mean to have two golden retrievers, but I do, and they're amazing.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: I've been in the electrical distribution field for over 20 years.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I always kind of laugh that you kind of fall into distribution.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: You really don't land there on purpose, but I've been in that same industry my whole life.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: It is a very male-dominated industry.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's where kind of some of my journey has really grown.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: First, you in your career you try to fit into the male industry, and then you realize maybe maybe fitting in isn't quite what it's all cracked up to be.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then you kind of try to navigate what that looks like.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So really being in a man's industry is what I've done for 20 years.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Really the background is I just I created most of the roles that I had just by filling a void in the market.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like, hey, why aren't we looking at profitability stuff?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, I don't know, why don't you do that?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, cool, I'll be the profitability manager, right?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then you start down that path, and then before you know it, you're like, now I'm gonna manage pricing for a while.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then and then that kind of takes off.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden you're like, hey, I think I'm gonna move and uh and run a distributor with, you know, two of my best friends in the industry.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, that took on a new journey.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: So figuring out where there was like a need in the market, and I'll raise my hand all the time.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, I think this is something that we need to be doing, and that's how my career in distribution has been.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they say once you get in uh in distribution, you don't get out.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it sounds like there's some boldness to unpack there for sure, in the sense of that long in an industry and then doing certain things, and also sounds like you're an innovative spirit and someone who also pushes for the next level, like whether it's fits good, let's make it great and let's figure it out.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna have some fun jumping into that with you.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, how would you define bold?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: What does bold look like for Michelle?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think bold for me is is something that's equally scary but also exciting because I think that there's kind of that fear when you're scared of the unknown, like what's gonna happen, right?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a planner, I want to know what's next.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: I want my five-year plan.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: I I want to give a natural progression to things.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to be a visionary thinker, and so I can kind of see the future.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: And when I don't see the future, that's a little scary for me.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like it's that, but then it's also that excitement of the unknown, of like what something could be.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, how if something could go from good to great.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Again, one of my favorite books is good to great, but just kind of taking that the exciting piece and what could it be, and what freedom could it give me, and what if, like, what if it really does take off, or you know, what if it really does become great?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when the scale tips more towards exciting is when I think I've made some of my bolder moves.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is a bit scary.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always just yay in excitement for sure.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: That if it doesn't feel a little uneasy, it most likely isn't some form of bold.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And bold can be different things for different people, and it may feel big or small, but it's still bold.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So can you remember your first moment of boldness based on that definition?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think my very first moment of boldness was when I was in my career in my 30s, and somebody said, I'm gonna have you work directly for the COO.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I freaked out.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, I mean, I will like write an email to them, but work for them?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's craziness.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: And and this mentor really guided me, got to know me, got to know my skill set, how I think, and said, No, I really think we need some young, fresh take on things.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think we need a new perspective, and I think that you guys would really get along well.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: And at that time, it wasn't like I really had a choice, but I also think that I took that step of like, well, shoot, I don't know what it looks like to be, you know, 31 years old and working for the COO of a huge company.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: But why not?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: If this guy thinks I can do it, and I created a role that I was very comfortable with, very strategic, you know, very innovative, forward-thinking at the time for the industry.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then once I kind of got to know him, I was like, man, this does work.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's just a guy, he's just a normal person, you know, and then you kind of bounce ideas off of each other.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I think my very first bold move was the fact that I somebody kind of recommended me for a very large jump in my career that at the time I definitely did not feel ready for.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like exciting, but yet it was like, holy crap, what do you wear?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: What do you say?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do I wear a polo every day?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what do I do when I'm in the room with an executive, right?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because at the time, like executives were a big deal.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and now I kind of realize a little bit more as I became one, like, we're just people, you know, we're just people with different experiences and different levels of maturity at some point, you know.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: I remember for my MHA, so I have a few master's degrees and I'm finishing my doctorate.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And for my MHA, I got very nervous.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: It would you do a residency, so you go to school, you do your deal, and then you spend a a year within a health system.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that part of our program.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I was very, very nervous because I really wanted this interview.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you have different interviews, and I was a young mom, and you know, like I didn't want to mess it up.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I went and I got my hair done, and I remember I put it up in a bun.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's what you did.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I would never wear one in my life.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I almost like wet people, and then I could not afford very much.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I Spiegel, I don't know if anyone remembers Spiegel ever being.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's something called Spiegel magazine.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I ordered a suit from that, and it was like something I totally couldn't afford.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I left the tags on it just in case I didn't get the job.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna send it off.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, that's a terrible thing to do.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Please don't advise that anyone, but I was 25, 26 years old, and I didn't want to, I didn't want to look bad, but I had that sense of like, oh, I'm gonna sit in a room with the CEO.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's who I did, you know, interview with.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just interesting because it's like, okay, you know, in the sense of feeling like somewhere where you don't belong, or maybe where you not belong, but like you're not ready for it, right?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so it sounded like a similar experience.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: You weren't worried about it that had a logical attached to it, but you know, it's kind of the same feeling of uneasiness, but you did it, and obviously you did a great job at it because you've you've been a leader in this industry for a while.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: What does electrical distribution mean?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like what does that mean?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm totally in awe of it, but I don't know what it is.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that question because it it really is getting a little more attention now with all the right supply chain issues in the world.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what a distributor does is we don't make anything, right?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: We literally are services, value add logistics.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: So we buy over 3,000 manufacturers' products, put it on our shelves, kit it, add value to the process, bundle it, and then resettle it to our contractor market.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: Mainly, you know, there's a lot of targets and segments, of course.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Don't need to go into that, but but there's that mix of products that you bundle for your customers, you add value, and then you deliver it when they want it, how they want it, do they want it kitted, do they want all the garbage thrown away?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they have elevator time.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's all these factors that go into new construction and us just making their lives easier, you know, especially now with the labor shortages.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, labor is the most expensive piece of a project.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: So getting the product to them so that they're ready for point of install is really what a distributor has been adding the most value to.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, during COVID, we were an essential business.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that helps get a little bit of attention, right?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because we were, you know, open the entire time, still going into the office, still making sure that the job stays going.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's interesting.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was just talking to someone the other day and I said, you know, nobody really understands electrical distribution until I say, you know, that gray box in your basement that when the fuse goes out, you gotta go flip the switch.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: We're kind of that gray box for large buildings, right?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's all the things that go behind that.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: It makes the power run, right?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: All the wire, all the boxes, all the fittings.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's everything before the drywall goes in.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like our work is never really seen, right?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's all hidden behind the walls.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: But it's important.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what what a distributor does is very male dominated.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And 20 plus years ago when I was in college, it was a new major.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: It was called industrial distribution management, you know.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think now it's called something like supply chain or logistics.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: So was that your major?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: So you went in to college, so you kind of stayed on your life path where like several of us, you know, have not, and we're figuring it out.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that's cool.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: What made you pick that?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty avant-garde.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, I'm I'm kind of a trailblazer when it comes to like seeing something and being like, that's cool, that's innovative, and I grab on to things like that.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: There was this brand new major.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was the second graduating class at U of I, and it was called industrial distribution management.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time it was the college that had a hundred percent job placement.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, sign me up for that because whatever has a hundred percent job placement, right?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right after 9-11, I was graduating and I was like, you know what?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think I need a job, obviously, and that's what I'm here for.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I also liked that it was a lot of real world experience.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: So at the time, it was a lot of real world case studies, it were case competitions where like companies would come in, hire a bunch of smart college kids to like work on real life problems and then present the solution.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of realized that was what I was good at is taking real life data and problems and working it through algorithms and different forecast models to kind of come out and say, what does this look like?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Or what could something look like to problem solve?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I kind of just got into a major because the curriculum itself interested me.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was a little more than your your standard numbers and business kind of stuff.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was also a half an engineering degree as well.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: So how I got business, I got engineering, I get problem solving, I get real world experience.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you get a job at the end of it too, right?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the key thing.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like there's key things, obviously, from your experience at college, but also that are important for not only the knowledge set, you know, that foundation from school, but also some of the softer skills.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think of the success that you've had in this industry, what are some of the softer skills that you've had to hone just to be successful?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is such a great question.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I would think two things that came with experience and maybe some trial and error was really figuring out how to be my authentic self and really hone in onto like my innate characteristics and my strengths and really stop trying to be like somebody that I that I wasn't or trying to be one of the guys.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of the softer skills that I really learned was really just trying to figure out who my authentic self was.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: What do I want to be?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I want to be kind, I want to have integrity.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: I I didn't want to come in and have to like sit and be all stern and you know be this businesswoman.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted to be me.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I think when I really started figuring out the softer side of like what skills do I have that I can hone in on my strengths, I really want to encourage people and think what the next problem is, lead people to the to the solution.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of the softer skills was really how to collaborate with people and also utilize my strengths because a lot of times I can be very misunderstood, right?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can come in with the answers, but I don't have the answers.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to brainstorm and think about possibilities and answers.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes coming in with that approach cannot get the best end result.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of the softer skills I learned were really just honing in on how to guide people and have really strategic conversations without kind of coming across like I have the answer already, because I I usually don't, but I can be very misunderstood that as a leadership, you come in and you're very intelligent and you know what you're doing, you have all this data and facts and you're organized and you look so put together, the perception is different than what reality is.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think some of that with some of the softer skills that I had to learn in leadership is I want to be my authentic self, but I still need to tone it back enough that people can bring their authentic self to the table as well.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then how to collaborate through that.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: One of the big management tools that we use is called Culture Index.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I really was able to take and learn everyone's innate characteristics and how they work together, right?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: And how like somebody who is more innovative thinking or has to be the expert at something, and somebody who needs all the detail and someone who's like, yeah, what's the worst that could happen, right?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: How to take all those different viewpoints and ways of thinking and create a collaborative team that comes up with the best idea at the end.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think some of those softer skills really to kind of circle back is just being my authentic self with my strengths, but then also accepting everyone else for their innate characteristics and strengths, and really just figuring out how to make that work and collaborate as a team.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think that women have a very kind of intuitive approach to some of that that can be seen as soft at times, but I really kind of just tried to embrace that side of myself as being kind and really just trying to make that a very authentic collaborative environment.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I think those are some of like the softer skills, is it's really on the people side, right?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's on the communication side.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a lot of relational pieces, right?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's key.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think one thing I want to go back to because I bet a lot of people can relate to, I can, is being misunderstood.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: So of me, maybe similar to you, is I think out loud.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: When I think out loud, literally, I'm like shooting out 15 questions in a row, and I don't know the answer to any of them, and I'm not expecting anyone to know the answer.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not good when you're a leader or you're a C-suite individual because then your staff feels either put on the spot or they feel like they're supposed to know the answers that even you don't know.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I think you get you figure out how to own that over time.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it can be misunderstood, right?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: It you know, it's aggressive or bossy, or like why she asked me all those questions.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And anyway, I I think if you think about being misunderstood and how over time you have had to maybe edit or audit yourself, like this is how I felt in the corporate world.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I used my example of a hat.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like no one knew I wore a hat, and I wear hats a lot now.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I think this is still a thing.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not a bad hat or anything like that, but it was just something that's like, oh, that wasn't special enough, or that I don't even know, I can post that on social media, you know.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't do a lot of that because of editing and auditing myself, especially in the world we're in today.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you think about being misunderstood and being your authentic self, what are some key pieces that people can learn from your journey there?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think self-awareness is something that's a really big piece of that journey is just really understanding yourself and and even how some of your strengths come across to others, some of those perceptions.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you have to learn that the hard way by rubbing a few people the wrong way or coming across.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of it's a trial and error.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: I do think though, too, that being your authentic self and being a misunderstood, I'm learning this.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: I don't actually think I've mastered it yet.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of my advice is just to continually check in on yourself.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: When you're the only one in the room that's talking, acknowledge that and kind of take a step back, right?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think just acknowledging some of your strengths that get overpowering, I think is a big piece of knowing it.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really right now, I'm very new into it, but my company had out to the Liz Wiseman multipliers and really learning that like some of these really core strengths that we have are actually that are actually accidental diminishers, right?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're the idea fountain or we're always on and we're always this, but it makes other people shut down.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so really trying to look through some of those multiplier strategies on how to take a strength and tone it back a little so that it doesn't become an accidental diminisher.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: That is something I'm working on and I'm learning about it.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: But it's been pretty powerful because you know, I want to be on all the time, or I want to have these ideas, but if that doesn't create a safe space for others, then really I'm not accomplishing my goal and the team is gonna suffer for it, right?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I also think too that you need to surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and who are willing to let you have those accidental diminishers and not criticize you for every little word you say or every little thing you do.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if I want to be around people that let me be myself and accept, okay, Michelle, tone it back a little, okay?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like too many ideas, let someone else talk.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: But in a safe place that you don't feel judged and criticized or just shut off.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's a it's a mix of working with people that let you be your authentic self, but also having that balance of somebody who can kind of tap you on the shoulder and be like, hey, tone it back a notch, your accidental diminishers are kicking in.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: But I think just kind of that mix of a safe place to be yourself, but then also checking in on that self-awareness and just kind of keeping those balances is something I'm really working on.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope it'll make me a better communicator and a better teammate.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I I think it's a balance, I think it's a personality, and and I think it really boils down to a lot of self-awareness.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I like the term accidental diminisher because it's like no one's doing it on purpose when I'm shooting out a thousand questions or when I'm like just being creative or thinking about something, but I don't have anything on paper.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's just all in between words.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's stressful.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: People are taught me actually create it or get to the next level or you know, get an outline of it.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I think those are things I've definitely honed over time.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I I just like the term that it's not on purpose, it's accidental.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about alignment, like all your different roles, obviously we've talked a lot about the professional.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're a mom of three boys, and my goodness, I don't know how much coffee that takes, and add in two dogs.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: What's in your tank?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like what's keeping you going?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: What drives you?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really great question.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it is a lot of coffee and then a lot of wine, and there is a balance of those two.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I've really aligned the where my time is spent with things that I'm passionate about, and that when I give all that energy, I get fulfilled back for it, right?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: So my children are my number one priority, and any amount of time that I put into them, I get back, even if I'm exhausted, I still feel fulfilled at the end of the day by giving back to them.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, like, that's where the dog comes in, is you know, I can be having a really crappy day, and my dog just comes and lays on my lap, and I'm like, okay, just needed that for that moment, you know?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so they give me something that fulfills me, and then I give back to them.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's just that kind of cycle of of fulfillment.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I also think too, it's having no regret, I think is a piece of it because I'll never regret spending too much time with my kids.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I I think some of the things that I pour my time into are things that I know I won't regret it.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be like, damn, I wish I didn't go to so many baseball games or and I wish I worked more, you know, and missed all my kids' performances.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never gonna say that, right?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I when I kind of have these moments of like my kids are driving me nuts and I just, you know, have those moments where I'm not my best version of myself.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of take a step back and I'm grateful that they really fulfill me back.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like the flywheel that keeps me going, right?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I have more coffee and then they fulfill me and then I'm happy again, and then sometimes I should sleep in there.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think at the end of the day, it's just keeping all of that that circle of life in motion and and really just removing the toxic pieces of my life and then really just focusing on the positive because I I really do believe that positivity is a choice, and that is something that I've kind of gravitated on on even like LinkedIn, right?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I just want to read something that makes me feel good because there's a lot of moments I'm not feeling good, or that I'm upset, or I'm not the best version of myself.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: And those are the times when I lean towards the things that fulfill me.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: And and whether it's my kids or positivity is a choice, or just things that fulfill me is is kind of where I go when I when my tank is empty.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sometimes days are rough, like no matter what you're doing, yeah.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're in corporate or an entrepreneur, or you're or you're just you're taking a break or you're at home with your kids or whatever it may be, those are all hard, hard jobs.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot that comes at it.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I try to fill my tank with things that are positive, things that are good, because there's a lot that's not out there, and like seeking it out to look at it, like I don't do that.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just really impacts in such a negative way.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, think about it or anyway.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just I really try to put in the tank the stuff that's gonna fuel me in the right way.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think with all the things that we have at our disposal now.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: I like you just try to get out there and like be a light of good.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a cute talk picture, although it's probably not appropriate for LinkedIn.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: But hey, here it is.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, here's my office mates today.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you know, it's just those little things that I think add up one for you like getting to know someone as much as you can get to know someone with social media, because it's still not you know the same as talking to someone.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's important to you know, fill your tank with the right feel.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you think about putting diesel in your car by accident, if you've ever done it, I don't I've almost done it like I was like almost a fit.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just remember my husband going, Oh my gosh, no, you know, anyway, I don't I was tired.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I did it.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I'm not that silly that I wouldn't have.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, if you put diesel in your tank, what's that supposed to be there?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're gonna chug and like you just have to think about what you're putting in there.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing goes for wellness and nutrition and self-care and those types of things.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: that we usually don't put in our tank or on our tab to take care of ourselves.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's just a note or a plug for people to think about how they're doing that.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because without those things going in, it's really hard to give out.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's uh those empowerments with your children and with your family or with your pets.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like you want to make sure you have enough uh to enjoy those moments.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and sometimes we run out of end.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it it's just human.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and I and I really do what you're saying.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm not good at self-care.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: I just I haven't been right and I think I'm trying to intentionally make that a priority of like eating healthier or working out or you know drinking clean wine I've switched to which has been really positive.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's like I can't give up wine.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe I can switch to like a healthier version of it or something that doesn't have side effects for me.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so really just trying to plug and play what works and and a little bit by bit just you know going on your bold retreat because I'm like I need to do this for me.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: I need like a break.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do this by myself for me to have alone time to think about things but in a in an environment where I feel supported and where if I need a moment to cry someone's gonna like hug me and I'm like okay we got work to do what's your plan and it's like I just I want like I want that balance.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be allowed to cry in one minute and pick myself back up and say I got this in the same moment wipe away the tears and say I got this and I think those are are kind of the the pieces of like self-care that I'm I'm working on and I'm not very good at yet.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah there's probably a lot of us that are work in progress.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think you know and everyone's formula is different too I think that's the other thing and that's something I've been struggling with is like what is the dang formula for me because I think I got it so messed up being in the corporate world where it's hard for me to get back to center.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I just have to intentional about doing it and you've seen me even post about it's like don't give up keep the discipline don't you know don't crush yourself because you didn't do something or didn't meet a goal like get back at it.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And like if you know I love these things I say be 1% better than yesterday.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was like all right I can do that.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be such a macro step sometimes it doesn't have to match Michelle and me don't have the same plan and that's okay.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: We may help each other but it doesn't mean you have to do what I do and and vice versa.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's important for folks to hear too because it's not a one size fits all and you may need more of something or I may need more of something than you do.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: I just think it's important to just make time for it.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the challenge there is just that where do I carve it out of my busy busy life to take care of myself and what happens is you will you know get somewhere where you don't want to be very unhappy or burnt out.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: That was my case you know I was just work and nothing else and you know I was a nub so I don't recommend it.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah what works for one person doesn't work for the other right I have something that I get energy from being with and around people and relating to people and talking to them and networking.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: I am like so excited I have so much energy I'm excited to be with people and hug people and talk and get to know people and relate to people.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: But on the flip side I have some of my employees that are like you couldn't kick me dragging and screaming to a networking event that drains me, stresses me out.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: I want to get on a plane I don't want to touch people I don't you know and it's like well wait a minute all the things that fill me up and not interciding for me drain and completely are against what somebody else would be fulfilled by and just appreciating that that it's not for everybody, you know.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or sometimes we have to work through it like I have introvert moments that I don't I didn't realize I had because I can speak publicly I can talk to a stranger.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have any issue walking into a room in the sense of like professionally and getting you know to know someone but like on the social side I'm a little awkward.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I went to the chief event I I don't know if I told you this but I almost left I mean I went in there's 200 really powerful women all like on the dance floor and you can't even get on the dance floor and I was really really nervous and I texted my daughter and my husband was like do I have to stay and they're like yes you're so excited about it.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I probably just like to it and then you know had a couple people come up who had known me from LinkedIn and then I felt a whole lot better but it's interesting because sometimes you do avoid things that drag you down or feel like they're going to take a lot from you and that's sometime where you like lean in and step into it and that was kind of my funny moment that I had and then I shut it down like I waited until it ended.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: So what advice would you give someone as we're kind of closing here on being aligned to themselves being authentic and then making sure that they're making time for the things that bring them joy?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Any tips for the listeners?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think that self-awareness is a big piece.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: I also think that like just taking time like right now I'm off the grid right I'm on my off the grid vacation I'm I'm working on the business on my life plan on something and not in it.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes I think taking aback and removing yourself from the daily hustle and bustle and giving yourself that space to think about things in a little bigger picture.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm I tend to be a visionary thinker so to me that works.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: That may not work for everybody.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I think sometimes just taking that moment to pause, self-reflect be like you know I'm really upset and I don't know why you know and to really kind of reflect on that.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes just that off the grid taking a break from the daily grind is is really what is is kind of my piece of advice.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And whatever that is whether that's taking some PTO time just having some self-alone reflection time I think would would be probably my biggest piece of advice it would be definitely the advice I would have given myself a long time ago is just take a breath and just give yourself a little bit of space to think through some of this.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know you have a plan but kind of just making sure that that you have both sides of the coin.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think a little bit I don't know if I believe in work-life balance because I feel like if you're fulfilled enjoying life and you know keeping things going, then maybe you you don't have to have a balance but I also think there needs to be kind of that give and take to make sure that your tank doesn't get too empty and that you're also not too burnt out.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think some of that to me is is that pause and reflect piece.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you've ever seen the Simon Cynic video about balance and it's basically like going back and forth almost you're going from one side to another like in a skateboard pit.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually I think I use the word alignment like am I in alignment what brings me joy?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I in alignment with what I want to do professionally and personally and all the other things that you want to add in there.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you say note it's like okay let's unpack that a little bit my advice for myself is give myself some slack and stop being so hard on yourself.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I think I use journals like to make lists and to do the little checkbox things.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a weird note taker like if you ever saw my notes they like go in a circle and they're like they're backwards and upside down.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's really weird honestly and it drives my staff nuts.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I know where to find stuff mostly so use the tool like make it yours.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is like make yours.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't like to meditate maybe just be in quiet for a little bit and think about you know maybe just your alone time is taking a creative trip to an antique store or to into the bookstore getting a really cool coffee or whatever.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be something so deep and that you come out with your life plan.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just take a breath.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah well and what you do it's like I think one of the the click moments for me was when I define my purpose right and when you define your purpose and why you do things and what drives you it kind of makes some of the criticism go a little bit lower on your thought pattern.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's you know when you're being criticized about something and you're like it's getting you're like why why am I letting this get to me right and at the end of the day my purpose I I define and I went through scientific start with why find your why right and it was like do this so that this right and and that framework for me really worked and and I'll share like my purpose is to create an environment for people where they can be the best version of themselves so they can make a difference and add value.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: And for me it was like well that's why I do this and that's why I do that and you know if I want to create an environment for people to to do this in it just helped me ground some of why I do things and you know why I like to party plan and and give goody bags and why I do all these silly little gift things that they're just little tokens that make a memory and and to me some of that is what helped me when I redefined my purpose is it just made some of that criticism go down a little bit and and become less important in my life.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was a key moment for me as you were talking of kind of that reflection of what my purpose is and then everything else just kind of like the background is blurred and it just like I felt like my vision was clear and everything else blurred into the background.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: And for me that was kind of those reflection moments that I'm very grateful for.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah very very cool.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well thank you Michelle for being on the Bold Lounge.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a pleasure to talk to you and I know that your story has inspired others.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're so welcome thank you so much thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast through the continuum of bold stories, vulnerabilities and taking the leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important stories.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: By highlighting these stories we will inspire others to share the journey of hope you've enjoyed this podcast and support