Latest / DidiLawren / I was Paying 75% Bills When I Found Out My Girlfriend is My Landlord

Transcript

I was Paying 75% Bills When I Found Out My Girlfriend is My Landlord · DidiLawren

• 0:09
  Hello and welcome back to another episode of Batter
• 0:11
  Laurencia. How are you all?
• 0:12
  Do you know if you're doing great now?
• 0:14
  Last weekend was my birthday and I had dinner with some of my
• 0:18
  friends and one of the conversation I came up was my
• 0:22
  previous video, which I talked about investments in Nigeria and
• 0:25
  investments in the diaspora. And before I even go ahead,
• 0:30
  naira to dollar is currently 1500 and naira to pounds 1 LB to
• 0:37
  a naira is almost 2000 naira. So do that as you may, whatever
• 0:43
  you please with that. Now going back to the
• 0:46
  conversation, so we were talking about the whole thing.
• 0:49
  Some people believed it is very good to invest in Nigeria.
• 0:52
  Some people believed it was, you know, good to invest in the
• 0:56
  dust. But one thing I learned from
• 0:58
  that conversation was that people were investing back home
• 1:01
  based on things that happened in the past.
• 1:04
  Let's say if your uncle, you had an uncle or auntie who travelled
• 1:08
  previously or, you know, couple of decades ago, what they
• 1:12
  normally do is they come back home, they invest their money.
• 1:15
  But the reason why they were doing that was not clear.
• 1:17
  Now what I understood was that the reason why people did that
• 1:21
  back then was because they travelled.
• 1:24
  Some of them travel illegally, some of them they believe that
• 1:28
  this is not where they want to be.
• 1:29
  They want to go back home because then Nigeria economy was
• 1:32
  much better. Some of them, because they
• 1:35
  travelled illegally, they had to send everything back home in
• 1:38
  case they get deported so that all their assets would be in
• 1:41
  Nigeria. Now these are some of the
• 1:43
  reasons why people do this. Some of them do that because
• 1:46
  they have their families in Nigeria and let's say they come
• 1:50
  here or travel, get married back home.
• 1:53
  So whatever they they have like let's say family.
• 1:56
  Like your home is where your family is, like your nuclear
• 2:00
  family. So they they send these things
• 2:02
  back home, which is understandable.
• 2:04
  But in this present day and age, most time people travel with
• 2:08
  their spouses, their children or people come here single and they
• 2:12
  get married here, Settle down here.
• 2:14
  Yes. You still have families back
• 2:16
  home. Yes, you still have parents back
• 2:18
  home, but the problem is not settled here.
• 2:22
  And then you're trying to build mansions in Nigeria.
• 2:25
  That was the whole conversation. Now, as this whole conversation
• 2:28
  was going on, somebody did mention of these tweets that one
• 2:31
  guy was talking about. Now according to the man, he was
• 2:34
  living with his girlfriend, he earned more than girlfriend.
• 2:37
  Like he was doing much more better than the girlfriend.
• 2:40
  And as such, he was paying 70% of the bills, no problem.
• 2:44
  He didn't have an issue with it and all that.
• 2:47
  So during the pandemic, she suggested that they could move
• 2:50
  to a place where they could have gardens, you know, instead of
• 2:53
  staying in a flat, they could stay in a house where they
• 2:56
  could, you know, go out, have gardens and all that, like, have
• 3:00
  activities to do instead of just being confined in a flat.
• 3:04
  He was like, yeah, just go ahead, do what you have to do.
• 3:07
  I don't want to get involved. As long as, you know we're not
• 3:11
  paying more than what we're currently paying, that is fine.
• 3:15
  So she went, she got a house, she she made the whole
• 3:20
  arrangement. He signed tenancy agreements and
• 3:25
  even the house, According to him, what looked more expensive
• 3:29
  than the one that they were living in.
• 3:31
  But because he she said it's still the same amount of money
• 3:35
  they are paying, he did not bother about it.
• 3:37
  He was like, no problem, They moved into the house now in
• 3:41
  2024. This January, he said he was
• 3:43
  just sitting down working from home when she was not home and
• 3:49
  he later came in. He picked it up and he saw a
• 3:53
  mortgage, Nationwide mortgage. And he was like, what?
• 3:58
  And her name was on the letter. He was like, what?
• 4:01
  What do you mean, mortgage? He opened the letter and lo and
• 4:05
  behold, the house that they moved in in 2020.
• 4:09
  She bought the house and he has been paying 70% of the bills
• 4:14
  now. He came on Twitter to complain,
• 4:17
  to say, OK, he's going to break up with her, definitely.
• 4:20
  But should she be asking for all the monies that he's paid?
• 4:25
  Because he looked at the the documents, basically 2020 to
• 4:29
  2024, the house had jumped, equity had increased.
• 4:34
  She was paying because she was getting 70%.
• 4:36
  She was literally paying down her mortgage.
• 4:39
  He couldn't believe his eyes, what he saw on those documents
• 4:42
  and he wanted his money back. Now he signed a tenancy
• 4:48
  agreement. She was so smart, she made sure
• 4:51
  that she went through an agency. But nationwide, they have to
• 4:55
  send you a yearly mortgage statement, which maybe she's
• 4:59
  been receiving since maybe 2021, but because she was always from
• 5:04
  getting those before he gets to to them, he was able to see it.
• 5:09
  Now, before I get into this conversation, I'm going to play
• 5:11
  a video response from a guy who saw the video.
• 5:14
  This is what he has to say and watch this.
• 5:15
  Ohh, I see some video on the Internet of some man
• 5:18
  complaining, saying that his girlfriend scammed him because
• 5:21
  she encouraged them to get a new build flat and expensive new
• 5:24
  build flat out. He's gone into it thinking that
• 5:27
  they're renting together. He's agreed to paying 70% of the
• 5:30
  payment. She's only paying 30%.
• 5:32
  And then later on he found out that it's her flat that she
• 5:35
  mortgage. And you know, I say to that man
• 5:36
  and to all the other men who are in that situation, serves you
• 5:39
  right, you big babies. Serves you right you big babies,
• 5:42
  you my love. Going into.
• 5:44
  I don't know where it's lacking other parts of England but in
• 5:46
  London there's bare man that go into relationship dynamics with
• 5:49
  women like they're your mum. Your relationship with your
• 5:51
  woman is set up in a way where she's your it's like she's your
• 5:54
  mum. She's running around sorting out
• 5:55
  everything. She's the one who's got to build
• 5:57
  her credit score. She's the one who saved money
• 5:59
  and she's on the phone to the mortgage brokers and the banks.
• 6:02
  She's at a comparing the market flicking through the best
• 6:06
  utilities and and she's got her. She's got all those standing
• 6:09
  orders and the direct debit set coming out of her account And
• 6:11
  you may just cause you're putting your hand in your pocket
• 6:13
  from your employment and putting some money into her hand.
• 6:16
  You don't feel like you're a man.
• 6:17
  You're not a man. You're a big baby.
• 6:19
  You are a big baby in this country.
• 6:21
  That's the truth. I'm talking like this because
• 6:22
  everything in my life, my flat, my home insurance, my car, my
• 6:26
  car insurance, all my utility bills, everything's in my name,
• 6:29
  everything comes out of my account.
• 6:30
  Do you know why? Because that's that's
• 6:32
  responsibility, bro. You know, I'm saying you are
• 6:35
  here getting finessed by women and then complaining on the
• 6:37
  Internet. Have some proud man serves you
• 6:39
  right. Go restart.
• 6:40
  You need to reboot and do it again.
• 6:41
  But do it again like a man and stop trying to be a baby.
• 6:44
  Now this is one of the factors, I believe, that they were
• 6:49
  dating. They were not married.
• 6:51
  He was earning way more than what she was earning and he was
• 6:55
  happy with it. He didn't mind.
• 6:57
  They've been living together paying rents and he didn't have
• 7:01
  a problem with that. I believe that's maybe when she
• 7:04
  wanted to get that house, she was like, OK, what, what would
• 7:06
  you think was getting the property?
• 7:09
  And maybe because he didn't feel this is somebody I want to spend
• 7:12
  the rest of my life with, he kind of discarded that
• 7:15
  conversation and she went ahead to give her house.
• 7:18
  Now for you to get, I have a mortgage with Nationwide and I
• 7:22
  know how thorough they are. If you cannot afford that house,
• 7:27
  as you see if your name alone is on that property, you have to be
• 7:31
  able to afford the mortgage. So whether he is paying the
• 7:34
  mortgage or not, that house is within her for the ability.
• 7:37
  She can afford it. Even if he picks up tomorrow and
• 7:39
  leave, unless you lose her job, then that is a different
• 7:43
  conversation. But him thinking that ohh, she
• 7:46
  used him, I don't necessarily think that's the case because I
• 7:52
  I find it funny when people are happy to pay rent.
• 7:57
  Then when they realise that OK, that rent you're paying is
• 7:59
  actually going to somebody you know they started, they start
• 8:02
  feeling some kind of way they're more rent you're paying to
• 8:05
  somebody else is also paying somebody else's mortgage.
• 8:08
  So why would you feel some type of way when we're living
• 8:11
  together and you're paying, you're paying my mortgage.
• 8:19
  I don't understand that. You know it.
• 8:22
  It's so crazy because I believe that this lady actually told him
• 8:26
  let us get the house, this is the pandemic.
• 8:28
  You know, he's telling his own side of the story.
• 8:30
  He will make it favourable to him.
• 8:33
  He wouldn't say ohh, she approached me and said let's get
• 8:36
  a house. And I refuse to do that for the
• 8:38
  fact that he said you go to this whole thing, get it sorted, get
• 8:42
  the house. I am happy to.
• 8:43
  As long as he's still within our budget that we're currently
• 8:47
  paying, I am happy to move into the new place.
• 8:51
  And she did that. She got a place, they moved in.
• 8:54
  He was even saying that when they moved in he was thinking
• 8:56
  this is more expensive than what we are currently staying but
• 9:01
  it's still the same thing that I am paying.
• 9:03
  So where is the anger and frustration coming from?
• 9:08
  I've also had a similar story of married people in the UK here
• 9:11
  where the wife is like let's get a property.
• 9:14
  The husband would be like no, no, no, I want to build this in
• 9:17
  Nigeria. I want to build that in Nigeria.
• 9:19
  I want to have a land in Lagos, Abuja port tacos.
• 9:23
  They want to do all these things and the lady is saying OK let's
• 9:25
  us get a house. This lady practically brought
• 9:28
  the deposit and said let's move in and the guy said ohh so I'll
• 9:33
  come and be paying mortgage so that you take the house and all
• 9:36
  of us. He blatantly refused.
• 9:38
  He was happy to pay rent. What is lady did was that she
• 9:41
  contacted the Booker, got a house, gave it to an agency to
• 9:45
  manage and then rented from the same agency.
• 9:49
  It was so funny and he was happy.
• 9:51
  He was happy with it. He was building his houses in
• 9:53
  Nigeria doing everything that he wanted to do.
• 9:56
  He was a happy husband until this lady fell out with one of
• 10:00
  her friends who now came and told the husband do you know
• 10:03
  that the house you're living in is owned by your wife?
• 10:06
  That was where all hell was let loose.
• 10:09
  And this man was threatening to sue, was doing everything, but
• 10:13
  she bought everything. Under a company, you couldn't do
• 10:15
  anything. He couldn't do anything.
• 10:17
  Because the people, the beneficiary of everything, she,
• 10:22
  she planned everything out. The kids were the the sole
• 10:26
  beneficiaries and he could not do anything.
• 10:29
  He was threatening to sue, threatening to do this one,
• 10:32
  threatening to do that one. OK, you want to move out?
• 10:34
  You're free to move out. He's going to stay in her house,
• 10:38
  you know? So this has been happening.
• 10:41
  I remember another story in Nigeria where this lady got
• 10:43
  married to this man. He was a high profile
• 10:45
  contractor. They were living together
• 10:47
  happily. He was providing everything.
• 10:49
  She got married immediately after her youth service.
• 10:51
  So he was the sole provider. He was providing everything.
• 10:55
  In fact she said that ohh because he used to travel a lot
• 11:00
  so he would buy things in bulk and keeping the house.
• 11:02
  He will not even give out money to silky like you know how you
• 11:05
  give somebody money knowing they will use it to do other things
• 11:09
  apart from excess money apart from what you want them to use
• 11:12
  it for. He will make sure he calculates
• 11:14
  everything and give it to her. This lady wanted a business.
• 11:17
  He said no sit down, take care of the children.
• 11:19
  What do you want to do business for?
• 11:21
  I provide everything I did. But when she was in school she
• 11:24
  was into all this event planning.
• 11:26
  People knew her for that. Like she had that golden touch
• 11:29
  where once she gets into your event, she will make it, you
• 11:33
  know, walk. So she started contacting after
• 11:36
  three kids, she started contacting those people back
• 11:39
  because the husband was not always.
• 11:40
  In fact then he now had a side chick that he was always staying
• 11:45
  with. Whenever he comes back from one
• 11:47
  of his jobs, he would just go there and stay.
• 11:49
  So she was more like a single mother, but she was being
• 11:53
  financially abused because she could not be her own person.
• 11:56
  She could not do anything apart from what you know he wants her
• 12:00
  to do. So she contacted some of those
• 12:02
  of her friends and said, listen, I'm back in the game.
• 12:05
  If you have parties let me know, but just keep it cool.
• 12:08
  Did this lady decided his business before?
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  You know, like she was organising big, big, big, big
• 12:15
  parties, making money. She was just keeping her money
• 12:18
  because this man is always travelling.
• 12:19
  He didn't, he didn't even know what was going on.
• 12:22
  He did not know she was still living mother.
• 12:25
  She had people were working for her.
• 12:27
  She built one house, built two houses.
• 12:29
  At that point. This was like 10 years after her
• 12:32
  kids were in secondary school. Then the girlfriend, the guy
• 12:37
  lost his job and took all his money.
• 12:41
  He was planning with a girlfriend to travel this girl.
• 12:43
  He took all the money, gave it to the girl and said OK, do the
• 12:47
  whole arrangement because I don't want my wife to know about
• 12:50
  it. Those girl took the money and
• 12:52
  how would the loan? This guy was crying.
• 12:54
  He has lost his job. He did not have any money.
• 12:57
  And then he was not blaming the wife, that if the wife had been,
• 13:01
  you know, industrious enough, should have been doing this,
• 13:04
  doing that. She got frustrated.
• 13:07
  I just thought she was a multimillionaire with properties
• 13:11
  at this point. But he was.
• 13:13
  He didn't even know that. He was just insulting her.
• 13:16
  And then he finally chased, you know, Nigerian women, they will
• 13:19
  remain in marriages for in recovering conscience.
• 13:23
  So she was just there to say, OK, I am a married woman until
• 13:28
  this man decided to chase her out of the house her kids were
• 13:31
  already in upon the school. She took them, gave one of the
• 13:34
  tenants quick notice. They moved out.
• 13:37
  She moved into her house. She was living large.
• 13:41
  Now this man could not pay the rent because he couldn't get
• 13:44
  more contracts. He couldn't pay the rent and
• 13:47
  then he had to move in with his friend.
• 13:49
  So people were seeing this lady in this house and then they
• 13:52
  called the husband and said your wife is living large and you're
• 13:55
  squatting. What is going on?
• 13:57
  Why don't you go and reconcile with you?
• 13:59
  He said that is not possible. That is not his wife.
• 14:02
  Where? How he now went to the place
• 14:05
  they took him there. He saw the wife.
• 14:07
  The wife was decked, you know. Now she could not hide anything.
• 14:11
  She was now dressed in, according to our bank accounts,
• 14:15
  he could not believe it. This man now called village
• 14:18
  people that they should beg his wife or that he's coming back.
• 14:22
  He's sorry. He she said no, that she she's
• 14:26
  she's she's done. She chased out of the house that
• 14:29
  she bared everything and he had the guts to chase out of the
• 14:32
  house that that marriage is over.
• 14:34
  He was now going around telling people that the wife stole his
• 14:37
  money. All this thing he did.
• 14:39
  She took his glory. She did went to this one, do
• 14:42
  this one. Like you could see how people
• 14:45
  just spoiled their life because they don't want to work
• 14:49
  together. You know, I see a lot of people
• 14:51
  who are in marriages and when you don't see them progressing,
• 14:56
  you will know that these people are not working together.
• 14:59
  You see that one of them, the this one is going South, zones,
• 15:03
  going West. They are just doing things.
• 15:05
  You know, the woman is busy doing her own thing.
• 15:08
  The man is busy doing his own thing.
• 15:10
  You're not going to progress with that.
• 15:12
  And sometimes the woman just, OK, if you don't want me to do
• 15:15
  anything, I will. I will not do anything.
• 15:16
  I'll just sit down. 1015 years from now you're going to see
• 15:21
  them still in the same place. The reason why I'm saying this
• 15:25
  is people should work together whether I'm married or not, even
• 15:31
  in a relationship with somebody and you can invest together if
• 15:34
  the two of you can actually come together and have an agreement.
• 15:38
  I have coworkers who they they they're dating they're living
• 15:42
  together. They bought how they bought a
• 15:44
  house together. Like two of them they they and
• 15:46
  their partners they bought houses together and they just,
• 15:49
  you know here you have percentages.
• 15:52
  The money this person bring, they will do the percent they
• 15:55
  will calculate everything and spell it out on that contract.
• 15:58
  Everybody will know what they they, they they brought to the
• 16:01
  table. Now during the payment you can
• 16:03
  either ask this is you know in depending on how you agree to do
• 16:07
  the whole thing. When that is over, you can sell
• 16:11
  and move on. There was one of them who it
• 16:13
  didn't work out in that relationship and she had to pay
• 16:16
  him out. You know from that arrangement.
• 16:20
  At the end of the day, he got money, she got money.
• 16:24
  Ohh. You see some people who just ten
• 16:26
  years in a relationship, no improvement, no leave, no
• 16:30
  transfer because they don't even want to come and work together.
• 16:33
  If you cannot come together and invest with somebody when the
• 16:36
  relationship with just, is that a relationship, it's just, you
• 16:42
  know, sexual transactions, Let's just call it what it is.
• 16:46
  So if that is what you want and it's a sexual transaction and
• 16:50
  you're doing your thing, she's doing her thing with, then why
• 16:53
  are you angry that she bought a house and you're paying and
• 16:56
  you're paying rent? Why?
• 16:58
  Why would you? Why would it be a problem?
• 17:01
  Now let me know. Have you ever been in a
• 17:02
  relationship or in a marriage where you wanted your partner to
• 17:07
  invest in something with you and they said no?
• 17:11
  Did you go ahead to do that thing or did you say, OK, I'm
• 17:14
  going to respect, you know, my partner and not do that thing?
• 17:17
  If you did, how did he go? Where you successful?
• 17:22
  How did your partner later approach you or what was his,
• 17:26
  you know, what was his response? Knowing that he said he should
• 17:30
  not do something and you did and later he became successful.
• 17:35
  If you did not do it, did you have any regret to say, oh, I
• 17:38
  would have done this regardless? Let me know in the comments
• 17:41
  section now. Today's episode is once again
• 17:43
  sponsored by the devices. We exact details are on the
• 17:47
  screen. We sell wholesale retail.
• 17:49
  And if you want to partner with us, we're happy to do that and
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• 17:54
  Thank you very much for watching today's episode.
• 17:56
  Please like, like, like and share.
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  Thank you very much. Bye.
• 17:59
  Bye.