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Amy Reveals The Best Advice She’s Ever Gotten About Men · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to I Do Part two. It is an innovative,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: one of a kind experiment in podcasting and love so
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: out there. If you didn't find love the first time around,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: we're telling you, it's okay.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: We're with you.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: We're here to tell you you can get the confidence
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: you need.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: To get back out there and you love again.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Wow, you're already laughing at me. So apparently that was
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: not said confidently enough. I believe you.
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  Speaker 3: I believe you.
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  Speaker 2: I believe I'm a believer.
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: Amen, Right, we are here. It is really really cool
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: to be in the room with all of these ladies
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: right now. I am one of your hosts, CJ. Holmes,
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: sitting next to my dear love Amy Rollbock and Jinny Garth,
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: one of our hosts here as well, is the first
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: time we've actually been able to be in the room
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: with her as we've done one of these We're so good,
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Joined by a couple of our celebrity mentors and some
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: old friends of ours. Now when I say old friends,
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: I did.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Friends of ours way back with what friends? Yes, thank
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  Speaker 2: you for getting It's okay.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Who's out from here?
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: From The Golden Bachelor and their podcast Bachelor Happy Hour
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: Golden Hour. We have Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles with
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: us today.
• 1:36
  Speaker 6: You guys, Yes, we're back.
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  Speaker 3: We love having you.
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: Okay, we have to go because we had so many
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: questions last time that we needed more information. Keep going
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: because everything you have to say is like golden nuggets.
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: Is that that I could I could get some gold
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  Speaker 5: out of your nuggets? And of course, like the conversation
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: between you two and just your beautiful relationship. I think
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: that's really iron for people to three times the m absolutely.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: This is from Lisa Rogers. Okay, is there one dating
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: site better than the other.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I've never been on a dating site, so I could
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: not answer that question.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: There are all the same people on all the same
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: dating sites.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: They say the ones you pay for are better than
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: the free ones, but I don't find that to be
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  Speaker 3: true either.
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  Speaker 6: I mean, there's so many now it's overwhelming.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: You know, you used to think that you're in a
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: big city. There's more people that I think it's harder
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: to meet people in a big city, like in New York.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: People complain all the time, this is the worst.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Place in La youn't Philly. I think the reason in
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: big cities and my daughter said this, and I've had
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: several other friends say this. When you're in a big city,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: like you can be on a date with a great
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: guy or a great woman and they're talking to you
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: and then they SEPs, they just wipe.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: There's always someone job, prettier, younger, thinner, smarter, richer. No
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: that ha ha ha, but thank you very much.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I thank you.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: No. But I remember my mom always telling me that,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: she said, you can never when you're actually looking for someone,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: if you get into this comparison business, which I think
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: the apps actually encourage and perhaps even make it sort
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: of addictive. But if you are always looking for what
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: if I could find something better, If you're in that mindset,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: you'll never ever settle down or be okay with what
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: you have, or recognize the beauty or uniqueness of what
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: you have. So I think these apps unfortunately perpetuate that
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: right because you always do have another option, and it's
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: right through at your fingertips. That's got to be really tough.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: You don't have to name it. But is there a
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: site that you've had more success on than another? Is
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: there not a front runner at all?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: No?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: For me, bumble. I met two guys on match that
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: were above ground and breathing. And then I met a
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  Speaker 2: couple guys on the bumble that were worth having second
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: day with, but not you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Know, not really coffee meets begel. They're all in New
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: York or North Jersey. It's about vicinities too.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, where you're at look geographically desirul.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: Yes, another question for your all here again no name
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: attached to this one, but it says, when do you
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: start having the money conversations debt, if you say, for retirement,
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: if your adult children are going to be taken care
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: of or independent financially, when you start having those money conversations.
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  Speaker 6: Money's always tricky.
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  Speaker 3: Well, you kind of just keep your eyes open in
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  Speaker 3: the beginning and you can figure some of it out.
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  Speaker 3: But I wouldn't have a serious conversation of that nature
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  Speaker 3: until you're deciding we're serious and we're going to take
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  Speaker 3: this to the next level.
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  Speaker 6: We're going to be exclusive. Well, no explicit of all that.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: You just don't sleep with anybody else, right, who says, well,
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: I just found that what hooking up was a feature?
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: What hooking up means? She knew what making out.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: With you're hooking up with somebody. I just I have
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: young daughters, so I know, so you know I did not.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I have a question on this. So I am probably
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: the senior member in this room, and I have to
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: be honest. Back to this question TJ that you just read.
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  Speaker 2: If I met, please God, may it happen the man
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  Speaker 2: of my second dreams tomorrow. I honestly, I have three children,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: three grown children, and two grandchildren. My husband and I
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: worked really hard for the money that I have. I
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: want to leave the lion's share of the money I
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: have to my children and grandchildren. So I don't expect
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: a man to take quote unquote take care of me,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: and I don't want to take care of him. So
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I think at my age, it sort of would be
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: a more equal partnership financially, you know, as long as
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: he flies me first class wherever we want to go,
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  Speaker 2: that doesn't hurt. But I'm just saying I want so,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: I don't you know, it's not like pooling money. I
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: would expect to share expenses. If we bought a house together,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: we'd own it together. We would share the expenses together.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: And I think that's different when you're young and raising
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: kids and you're meeting some well.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Anybody our age out there looking for somebody to keep
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: them a.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Nurse and as I mean, it's just a nurse or
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: a person, thank you so much.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I don't.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so the money thing is always a tough one.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: But I think you know, you and I haven't had
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: serious converse. I think until you go to live with
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: someone and merge households, you know, obviously you are going
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: to decide who should pay for dinners and like that'll,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I guess evolve naturally, but I don't know that it's
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: necessary unless you are like actually merging your families together,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: merging your households together.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Do you have a retirement account? Do you have a
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: savings as that was one of the reasons that that
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  Speaker 3: didn't work. Nothing, No, I mean I have, I have.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm solely responsible for them, and I'm but I've
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: taken responsibility as a as a woman who has always
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: been a kind of a single mom to my children,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: like in terms of financial responsibility. So I've I've set
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: that that ball emotion. I have a trust and that's
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: just something happened and I've operated. No, and I actually
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: only learned it after the second time around. So you
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: learn from past mistakes. How you protect your interests for
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: your children. And yes, when you have kids, and yes
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: we're talking to people with their second third time around,
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  Speaker 1: you've learned, probably in painful ways, what you should have
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: done differently, and you make and expensive ways. But I
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: will tell you I have taken my daughters along that
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: journey with me to say, hey, don't ever rely on
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  Speaker 1: someone else like that.
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  Speaker 3: I want them.
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  Speaker 1: That was the one thing I wanted for them from
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  Speaker 1: the beginning was to say, hey, no matter what happens,
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  Speaker 1: if you are financially independent in whatever way you live,
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  Speaker 1: and you can live modestly, right to live within your means,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: but then you have choices, and then you're empowered to
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  Speaker 1: make the best decision for yourself. Yes, and that is
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: the gift I've hoped to give my daughters.
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  Speaker 6: But I mean, that's why we're here. Yeah, you like
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  Speaker 6: us to pass that. My father taught me that early on.
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  Speaker 3: Don't depend on anybody but yourself. And if you when
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  Speaker 3: and if you meet somebody that's your equal, that's even better,
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  Speaker 3: But always depends on yourself first.
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  Speaker 6: Choose yourself.
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  Speaker 2: That's funny, you know. My parents told me go find
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  Speaker 2: your prince charming.
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  Speaker 3: And marry rich.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I don't any of that. My grandmother told my mother.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: My mom didn't listen either. Is just as easy to
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: fall in love with the rich man as it is
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  Speaker 1: a foreman.
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  Speaker 2: I've heard.
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  Speaker 1: And she laughed because she's like, wow, I did not
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  Speaker 1: follow that advice. What would you think if you matched
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: or went on a date with someone who found out
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: that they hadn't been in a relationship in a long time?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Is that a red flag?
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I think if someone took the time to work on themselves,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that's a good sign. Define how long.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, what's a long time decade?
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: You know? I have some questions.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: It depends on the age too, right, yep. And if
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: you're raising a family, if you have young kids and
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: you're raising you might not have.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: It's two years a long time.
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: Yes, that'd be considered a lot.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I haven't been on a date.
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  Speaker 2: I have even over two years.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: I have been on a date in two years, two
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  Speaker 3: years on a date or not on a date.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that the last time we talked to you,
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: but I thought, don't you feel for us?
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: It's not something I like. Since no one's listening to
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: this at all, it's just us live in this room.
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  Speaker 2: I have not been on a date. I have a
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: couple of male friends like I would, but not a date.
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  Speaker 4: Last time we saw you all, I thought you would
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: just a date.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Yo, we were ready to date.
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: You were ready to yes, ready, I can assume and
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: would be very wondering, cautionary, reticent, thank you.
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: That's the story of our life. Oh, I know, we've
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: got to break that.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: So people say, well, just for you less, Susan, be less.
• 10:09
  Speaker 6: Oh okay, we've.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Talked about this. We can only be who we are.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: That's you know. I am authentically who I am, and
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: if you don't, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I accept that, but I'm not going.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I am everyone's cup of tea. They're just being stupid, Kathy.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: Have you all actually considered it, taken moments, and you
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: know what, maybe we do need to change things up
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: a little bit because there's so many people to give
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: relationship advice, to tell a woman to be a little this.
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: Don't be so we have some mine in the studio.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Don't be so bossy. You gotta kind of.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Save that for the boardroom.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: In the bedroom.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: You need to take right.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: She made a total point, like you need to let
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: him be the man. And that's a hard thing to hear.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: I leave when I dance.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding?
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: I got it?
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I was standing on the bell. We did like eight
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: count of eight.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: He goes, wait a minute, I lead Susan always, No.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: That's the weirdest.
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: Women were built to be strong and take care of ourselves.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: There are men so intimidated, j there are We've got
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: a man in the house.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: Well, that's tough for me to answer, because I'm with
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: this one. This is the strongest, most stubborn, bullheaded, selfish, arrogant.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: This don't this is who I'm with. I mean, So
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: it's tough to You have to be friends first, Well
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: you have to, but you have to have some kind
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: of confidence in yourself to be with a woman as
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: strong as you.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: You you and you you have to So where are
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: they all? What rock are they hiding under?
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: What would you change about us?
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: We don't have enough time.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, see that's the thing. And it almost breaks
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: my heart because we have plenty of conversations on our
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: show about it with different women about like trying to
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: alter or change anything about who you are to make
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: this guy feel better about himself. So that he can
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: then ask you out, and it's just too much of
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: a game. And we're too we're grown, we're adults at
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: this point.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: One thing I learned that this is something I practice
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: when you're in the restaurant. You don't talk to the waiter.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: You let him talk. That's like a chore for me.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: It's like I got something to say, but I have
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: to let the man take the lead.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: That was difficult.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: I have to let the man take the lead.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: That's still a thing. Is that register with you at already? Don't?
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: I don't know. That feels so weird.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: But maybe that's a generationally maybe older men feel differently
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: about that.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: But oh yeah, that's a good point.
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: My husband would never be offended if I took the
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: leader you know he has. He doesn't get threatened by
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: my strength.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: I think you need Boddy should.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: This is from Hannah Almer, I believe it's her name.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: What is a good way? And by the way, Hannah,
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: if you know the answer or interview in this room,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: tell me what is a good way to start dating
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: again after a long period of not wanting to date?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Any good advice on that?
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: Somebody to ask me?
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I heard about the d MS.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the other thing we talk about sliding
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: into our dates are frozen over. No, there's no sliding.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Maybe there's a lock box, guys.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: We don't know.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: We tried that too. That does do that.
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: What is the advice anybody good way to start dating again? Yeah,
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: for somebody who hasn't been.
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: I guess listen to your instincts.
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: If you've been, if you've taken some time and you've
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: done some work on yourself, you found that why place
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: to know who you are and find your strength as
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: a woman, Then listen to those instincts because they're not
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: going to take you to the wrong place.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Can I just tell you everyone told me to go
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: to golf courses because that's where single men are. I
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: have pitched a tent for the last two months at
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: a local golf course. I haven't met one guy yet.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: I mean a lot of them on the golf course.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: They're laughing, but they're all married, like married. I have
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: another anonymous question, Should we be more open to dating
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: people long distance?
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I think I think that's tough. Especially I feel like
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: even at my age, it would just feel like a
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: time suck, Like why would I be wasting time? Travel? Like?
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: It depends on what you want.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you want a companion to see and
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: to be around and detext and to have fun. But
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: if you really want a partner who you're with day
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: in and day out, that's not you're just wasting time.
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, But what if the person you're madly in
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: love with it's a job and has to go somewhere else.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Oh that's different then, and you can't go with him?
• 15:05
  Speaker 6: Like, how do you do that?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Kind of why can't you go with him?
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: That was my difference. It's a different Are we established
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: as a couple before we have to move across country
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: from each other?
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: Do you consider?
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, that's I consider that. If we're already establishing,
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: we're good to go. That's one thing versus starting initially
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: having to kind of get to know somebody in a
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: two hour flight away.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Well, what's happening for the last couple of years around
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: here is zero? I'm open to.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Can I just say? Ben Higgins, who we all know
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: and love. We had him on our podcast and he
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: talked about when he met his now wife that they
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: always every time they met because they lived in different cities,
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: it was in Denver. She was in Nashville when they met.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: They would plan to see each other before they met.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: They would already have the next time plan and they
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: would never be cry or sad. It would always be they.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, and and you know it worked for them.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's possible. I think it's difficult, but I
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: think it's possible.
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: I mean, what's long distance Europe. That would be across
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: the country. I think, you know, I've definitely that was
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: hard for my marriage. I know I didn't foresee that
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: visit in New York l A thing. Yeah, like across
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: the country sometimes on location.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Again, though you had young children, right, Jenny, three little girls,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: it was a big deal. We could do it, Susan,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I do New York l A. I would do it.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I would do it.
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: I think once the kids come into the situation, we're
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: beyond kids.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: We're good.
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: That's the that's the beauty of it.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: Jenny and yours, how long were you all not seeing
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: each other? How long would you go without seeing your
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: husband at the.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: Time, Well, a shoot would be like at least four weeks.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: But he was really good about trying to get back
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: to the kids every week. He really did go back
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: and forth a lot because it was easier for him
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: to go back and forth, you know, and then it
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: was for me to take the girls.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: But you know, we absence makes the heart grow fonder,
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: like you miss him, and when you did see each
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: other it was even more exciting.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: Or was it.
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: I would say it was a mix of both that
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: and the total opposite of that. Mm hmm.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Listen, Susan, we cannot complain if we get dates in
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: la you know, damn right, while you and I are
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: going back and forth, let's just cut to the church.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: There's for you. Tom.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I'm in Philadelphia, Texas.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: Okay, but I'm ready to move.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:35
  Speaker 6: They're international.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: I like that.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: I have listen. I have two grandchildren and two kids
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: live in Austin, and I love my family and I
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: love my grandkids. That's what plans are for. I would
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: go back and forth. I hear you. I could do that.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: It is one of those school things now that I'm
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: an empty nester, like the idea that like I can live.
• 17:56
  Speaker 6: This is a good one. Actually, what do you value
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: the most?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Confident?
• 18:00
  Speaker 6: Humor, attractiveness?
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: This is say them again.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: I guess what my to you?
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: Confidence a sense of humor or attractiveness, the above.
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: The most important.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I like to say attractiveness. It's what I'm attracted to.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, being good looking it's like being attractive.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: So let's say attractive. I would say attractive is number
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: one because it's an umbrella for so many things.
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: But I like to laugh, you guys.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Number number two.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: You can't make me laugh.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I don't even want attracted.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Agreed, and that is like the huge thing he and I.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I have never laughed along with the human in my life.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: And confidence number three.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: You can make actually agree you were in. Confidence is
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: absolutely the umbrella attract if you weren't the other two.
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: If a guy is medium, more strong, they can make
• 19:11
  Speaker 6: me laugh. He has confidence.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: You can't be funny and not be smart, and.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: So being attractive. Let me just sum this up. Let
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: me rank them all for you, Okay, Attractive is number one, two, three, four,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: and five because under attractive comes attractive, good looking, smart,
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: intelligent sense of humor, compassionate, good sense of humor, covering.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: Anybody out there, six one zero, and and the house
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: on Martha's vendered.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: What about a confident guy who has no sense of UNI's.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: A really funny guy who is just an idiot. Okay, next, good, good,
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: good job trying to sit that one.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: Do you think people come into your life randomly or
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: do you think it's the universe? Are you all universe?
• 20:08
  Speaker 6: A universe?
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Universe? I've been practiced where I am right now right,
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: I think it's universe.
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah, universe, absolutely.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I just don't have a vision board. I think I
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: need a vision board and put the man on.
• 20:22
  Speaker 6: There's what you got in your head, you need to
• 20:25
  Speaker 6: get out.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: On a board.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: I believe the reason season lifetime, I really do. I
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: think people can believe people come into your life for
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: a reason for a season all.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: The time, all of us, I say, for all the time.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: People come into your life for a reason in a season,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: and the season might be a lifetime, but it's not random.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree around A lot of randoms have.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Come into my life. But that's a whole other conversation.
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: I have come around to that thinking. I am sitting
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: here in a room with you full of women, full
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: of woman having a good glasses of wine.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Myss is empty college football game on having.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: A good time with you all, And the only reason
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: I'm here is because everything had to go exactly the
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: way it went, and I'm happy where I am. So
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: that's why I regret is such a difficult word. I
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: would like to say that I'm happy where I am
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: the I've come around bridge.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: This guy is a walking Hallmark No, no, but.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: I think I love watching Hallmark movies.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: By the way, the best try ever.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: God, we will sit there and laugh.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: We laugh.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: And so how many times you've been married?
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: Too?
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's just say three and chill be number three?
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Can I be number four? We stopped?
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: But three we stopped three?
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: Look at this, Kathy.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: We have a long night ahead of us with this right,
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: flow your paste.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Seriously, this is an interesting question. Do people think rejection
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: is better than regret?
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: No?
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: No, you should pick another one.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: That one doesn't even count.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, wait, it'd be better if somebody rejected you
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: rather than you are staying with them and then you
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: regretting being with them. Would you rather be rejected than
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: have time? I guess if you look at it from
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: that perspective, I guess what your mom said, better to
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: know in five months than in five years. So if
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: someone had to reject you for you to know, it
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: wasn't right versus waiting and wasting years and then regretting it.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm too many pills and understand what you said.
• 22:31
  Speaker 6: I think I hear you like I would want to know.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, as it's like ripping the band aid off. Rather
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: feel the pain now than slowly stings.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: But you heal. Yeah, If the man you're dating is
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: paying alimony to his ex wife, how are you supposed
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: to plan your future? Do you need to hold off
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: on pressuring him? Pressuring?
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: Pressuring?
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: For you should never pressure a man to marry you ever, period.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Do not.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: She's pressuring him about.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: The ag him to get in a relationship, but he
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: has to pay alimony.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: She wants him to be focused on her and her finances.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Pay alimony to an ex wife. It doesn't sound payment.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: It is a it's a there's no emotion involved that
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: in fact, and damn whens is alimony going to be over?
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: And the word pressuring should never be in a woman's vocabulary.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's not going to end well. If
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: you have to pressure a man to be with you,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: it's not.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Going to do That's another thing we just learned pressure.
• 23:55
  Speaker 6: I did that right to wait, But I don't even
• 23:57
  Speaker 6: know what would pressure look like.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: When getting married when all you're doing is paying money
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: to your ex wife everything?
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: What about our future?
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: What about our future?
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: When we have about where's my diamond ring?
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Where's where's my name ring? What about our house? You're
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: paying so much money to Louise that you don't have
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: enough money to focus on.
• 24:16
  Speaker 6: It does not sound much.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: It doesn't sound help me. I don't want to I
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: don't want to be there. I don't want to run.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be there.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, another anonymous, I agree. When you're on round two?
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: Is it okay to keep dating if you aren't sure
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: there is a future? When do you have the what
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: are we?
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Conversation?
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: What are we?
• 24:38
  Speaker 6: Conversed?
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Im?
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: When you want to know?
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I think you have the conversation when you want to know, like,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: let's not play games?
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Is the question?
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: When I want to know what we are, I'm going
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: to ask what are we? Wait?
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: Wait a minute, if you if you have to ask,
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying this is true. If you have to
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: ask what are we? Does that say send a message?
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: No? I think that there. I Actually we had a
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: converse and we talked about this. We remembered exactly where
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: we were when we said what are we doing? And
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: what are we and you know, yeah, what are we doing?
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Like we know how we feel, but what are we doing?
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: Are we going from?
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: And where are we going? And you know, I'm at
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: a point in my life where if we're if I'm
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: going to be with you, this is what I want
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: and if you don't want the same thing, let's establish this.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Now, what did you do the same thing?
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: And that's very mature knowing yourself.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: You do a certain age and that's just that's where you're.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: At because of age.
• 25:28
  Speaker 6: Mostly, Yeah, you've learned some things. You don't have time.
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: You just don't have time to wait.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, what I want to know, did either of you
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: have this conversation with did you guys? You did have it?
• 25:40
  Speaker 6: Did you have tell me what conversation?
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Did you have the conversation with you?
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: What are we are? We?
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Did you have that conversation with your husband.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: Or on the same page?
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think a lot of times that happens.
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: You just so, we did not wait very long. We
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: were it was a very fast and furious that was
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: a way sham. Yeah, I'm very impulsive. So I think
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: we you know, we learned about each other after we
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: had already like jumped in, which might have been really hard.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, people, how fast was if you don't mind
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: my asking how fast?
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's so hard for me, she said, he is
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: not the one.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I think we leave this dinner weeks later.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: I think we got engaged.
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: Three months later married. Yeah, nine months.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Tonight, when we go out for dinner with these great folks,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: we're going to look at every guy and go, oh,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: you want to get married.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: You were engaged to you after three months? Right, yeah?
• 26:46
  Speaker 6: But the changed it.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I get it like the next d But
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: you put that in our head because we're going out
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: with him tonight. He's just.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: By the way your husband. I just met him. He's
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: a very handsome man, think so very handsome.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: I went and hugged them and didn't shake any hand.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I'm a hugger. I don't think he knew what to do.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: It's like, who is this?
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: He was very comfortable, Kathy. You know, his name is Dave.
• 27:20
  Speaker 6: He's Dave. He's very he's not going. He's kind of Dave.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: He's very easy going, easy to get along with.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: So all right, he got the book.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, Jesus got the long one. This stunt.
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: Okay, this is we're going to go deep for a second. Okay,
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: I think, Okay.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: My big problem is I've been in domestic violence relationships
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: I told you, and I freak out and isolate myself
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: when it comes to talking with guys. Now, I'm so
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: afraid to get hurt or cheated on. I freeze up.
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: Can someone give me some advice on how to approach
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: men or some good opening lines.
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: We can't pretend to be experts. I mean, that's that's
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: something going on there that I wouldn't ever get to
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: work on yourself to understand, but I can from that perspective.
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: My god, if you've been through that experience, would you
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: ever open yourself up put yourself out there? So that's difficult,
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: but the thing is you, that's what you almost have
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: to do.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: You have a good opening line for a woman to
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: say to a man. Hi, Hi, it's okay, it's about
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: smiling about you.
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: Are I just I hate ever feeding somebody try this
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: line or trying to do this thing. It's okay to
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: be you. And I don't know the age on that
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: person either, but it's just that's heartbreaking to think you're
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: in a position why you just can't be yourself and
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: can't be natural and always have a guard up. But
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: we can certainly understand why.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: And I think you know you TJ. You've I was
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: actually kind of interested in something you told me. You said,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know why women think that men want you
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: to play hard to get or men want you to
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: play games, like men actually want to know that you
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: like them. Men want to know that you're interested.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: In them, because they say, don't be available.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Like TJ was like, be a straight shooter and like,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: and that's the kind of person you want to be with.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Someone who wants to know, who doesn't want to play games,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: who doesn't want to like pretend to need to chase
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: you like we're all especially if you've been through some
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: sh and it sounds like she certainly has. Shouldn't shouldn't
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: she want an adult, mature relationship And that involves starting
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: at a place of realness and authenticity. And I think
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: when you show someone who you are, if they don't
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: want to be with you, good, then you know upfront,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: like if you can just be yourself, I would just say, yeah,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: you have to be Willings. I know it's scary to be,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: but to be yourself is that's the only way you're
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: going to get an authentic love in return.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, And when you see a red flag, believe it's
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: a red flag.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: When someone shows you who they are, yes.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I believe them.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, we've been told we got time for one more?
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Is it you want to No, it's oh please, my love, gentlemen,
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: take it last one here?
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: Wow? Okay, it says it's directed at me.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: Actually, OHJ the best for last.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Oh you are gonna love this. Is it acceptable to
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: set one of your guy friends up with more than
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: one of your female friends or is that in bad taste?
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: Why don't.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: As long as you're honest about say. I don't know
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: who's action was, but.
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: I guess you're right. Let's be realistic. I think it's
• 30:52
  Speaker 6: okay for me.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: I think when you read that, I have this visceral response,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: which is, if if TJ sets and I'm praying he does,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: sets me up with someone he knows, I want at
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: least have the opportunity to explore where our relationship could
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: go with his friend without feeling like it's a I'm
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: a meat part of a meat market, Like hey, I
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: got ten girlfriends here, you know which I would want
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: the opportunity, and then if if TJ's friends said, Kathy,
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: it's been real, So you don't like the idea. I
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: don't like that. I don't want to be I don't
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: want to be considered one of a pack. I don't
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: want to I don't.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: I want just like going on the best it's like
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: going on a dating side.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be shocked. If that makes sense.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: I think most guys would not do that out of
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: respect for their friends. I think the female friends I
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: have now the guy friends I have, I would never
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: start and mix.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: I would personally on your own without the women know
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: and give him an option, show them both, talk about
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: both people that you'd like them to meet.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: And let him make that sick one at a time.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm not saying fix them up with both.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Let him that's what.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: Then he makes that.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: So TJ dnswer is Kathy first, Susan second.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: Every time I see you, I thought we saw a
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: reckon overring about who who we know?
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: Then they forget, but we're coming.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I am no, And I do like what you said,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: because I think that no one wants to think they're
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: being It's almost like an agent trying to push their clients,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: like whoever you want. But I got several pig problem
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: with you, Like that feels icky like or something. Yeah. No,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I appreciate the fact that you let one relationship see
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: if it works if it doesn't, and then and only
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: then when you say, would you mind if and.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: You know what, I would hope that if you know,
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: if you if Dave fixed Susan or me up with someone,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: I would hope that that friend would come to David say,
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: you know, I really like Susan, but now I really
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: like to meet Kathy. Susan wasn't all I thought you
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: would be.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: But Kathy is notice how she named that the order
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: of that way.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: I would if it were a good friend, I would
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: hope that person would come to you and say, being
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: true to yourself for me and right and you know
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: she was great, but I don't think she's for me
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: and there's nothing wrong. But I would feel better about
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: that then, Susan, how is your date? I don't know
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: how is your date? What you talk about?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Kathy?
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: What're you talk about? Really said that to you? He
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: told me he doesn't, he doesn't. He told me he
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: prefers petite brunettes. Oh yeah, we were, We were on
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: that show.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: But you know what, I love being with you guys
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: doing this today. We got to schedule this more often.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: You are to our listener. This is a true story.
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: The five of us are going out tonight together and
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: I mean we're going out hard. We're not just doingtized.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: Oh no, we got a long night ahead, so we
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: hopefully we can do it. Episode about that later. But
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: keep your questions coming to us again. If you are
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: single and ready to find your person, or you want
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: to ask us more questions about love and dating and relationships,
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: this is what we want you to do. You can
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: call us at one eight four four four I Do Pod.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: That's eight four four four four three six seven sixty three.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: Email us I Do Pod at iHeartRadio dot com. That's
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: I Do pod at ourheartradio dot com. We're on Instagram
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: and TikTok at I Do Part two pod. Also, all
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: this info will be in the show notes, and make
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: sure to rate and review the podcast. This is I
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: We're falling in Love is what if I open my
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: own dating service, like I could fix people up?
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: What do you think Wait, I just want to finish
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: what you said.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: We're here for love, yes, falling in love is the
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: main of the name Jay.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: All right, thank you all for listeners. Don't we're not
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: doing yet.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Wait, we're We're all right. We'll see what part three.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: We got this